Dad Starting Over

Staying Sexy in Long-Term Monogamy.... is it Possible? (from live stream)

Can a couple's sex life be sustainable over a the life of strict long-term monogamy? In this episode, Ralph explores the challenges of maintaining a fulfilling sex life as a couple ages. From the honeymoon phase to dealing with disease and aging, he delves into the concept of serial monogamy and why it may be a more realistic solution for many. He also discusses the role of genetics and societal constraints in shaping our behavior. Discover the importance of understanding your partner's backgrou...

"Men shouldn't get in shape... it makes the wife insecure. It's bad for the relationship!"

A follower on Facebook reached out to me with his point of view about getting in shape. In his mind, it is NOT a good idea! His wife, after all, feels insecure about how he looks, and it has proven to be a negative influence on the relationship. Join our private group, the HFM Brotherhood!

The Dating Game for Young Adults (from a live event)

In this episode, Ralph responds to a question from a listener named Candice about the modern dating scene, which veers dramatically from what many parents recall from their youth. Ralph shares a vivid account of his recent experience at his 20-year-old daughter's university homecoming event. What he observes is a stark contrast between hyper-sexualized young women and noticeably underdressed young men, a dynamic he finds both perplexing and illustrative of today's dating culture.

Why Does Female Libido Go Down in Monogamy?! Won't That Scare The Man Away?! (from a DSO Live Stream)

Sexual desire within monogamous relationships has long been a highly nuanced and widely debated subject. A myriad of psychological and anthropological perspectives suggest a noticeable shift in women's libido after entering into sustained, monogamous partnerships. In discussing this intimate terrain, insights from esteemed voices such as Esther Perel and Wednesday Martin provide angles that challenge popular misconceptions and open up a more in-depth dialogue about desire, commitment, and human ...

Dear DSO: "My Wife Has Suddenly Changed!"

Harry asks his wife to return to work post-pregnancy, which results in her filing for divorce. Their marriage struggles due to frequent disputes, troublesome family members, and strong feelings. Ralph examines the couple's dynamics, highlighting persistent problems and Harry’s desire for more kids. He recommends that Harry should focus on the well-being of their children and engage in self-reflection to avoid repeating these issues in any future relationships.

Dear DSO: "Wife Has Become Withdrawn, Angry, and Has More Mental Breakdowns"

"Mister Niceguy No More" has written to Ralph about difficulties in his eleven-year marriage, describing his wife's distant and transactional approach to their sex life. This has caused him frustration and feelings of isolation. Ralph examines possible causes such as mental and hormonal health issues and suggests that proactive actions should be taken. Emphasizing the need for personal well-being and establishing boundaries, Ralph discusses how to deal with relationship problems and the importan...

Dear DSO: "I’m a New Father... And I Was Really Tempted to Cheat (But I Didn’t). Is There Hope for Our Marriage?"

A reader reaches out to share his stress over being a new father and being tempted to almost cheat on his spouse... What does this mean for him and his marriage?

Dear DSO: Should I Tell My Wife/Roommate About My Cancer Diagnosis?

A reader has a great deal of resentment towards his spouse of 13-15 years of a dead bedroom marriage... but he's recently been diagnosed with cancer. Should he tell his wife? In the past, she has displayed some narcissistic tendencies, and tends to make all problems about herself.

Dad Starting over Is Now Part of the Help for Men Network!

We are proud to introduce our new brand: Help For Men! You can learn more at helpformen.com . The DSO Fraternity, our private group for men only, will now be known as The HFM Brotherhood . WE are looking forward to reach a wider audience and helping more men from around the world!

How Often Should The Responsive Desire Person Initiate? (with Dr. Psych Mom - from a Live Event)

Dr. Psych Mom and Ralph answer a question from a follower: How often should the responsive desire partner actually initiate sex?

From Brofest 2024 - Ralph Talks About Monogamy and Cheating

"How do I stay positive during a long-term dead bedroom marriage?" (From livestream)

Dear DSO: "Is paying a cosplayer on Only Fans considered cheating?"

In this episode, Ralph addresses a listener's question about whether subscribing to OnlyFans is considered cheating. Ralph emphasizes that it's not about his opinion, but rather what the listener and his spouse think. He advises open communication and setting boundaries. Ralph also cautions against engaging in desperate behavior and encourages self-reflection. Listeners are reminded to respect their partner's values and opinions while expressing their own concerns. This episode offers honest adv...

Dear DSO: "Should I fill out mental health forms for my ex?"

In this episode of Dear DSO, Jimmy from Scotland seeks advice on whether he should help his ex-wife with her mental health diagnosis. While he's hesitant due to painful memories and the fact that her mental health issues contributed to their divorce, DSO encourages him to consider the well-being of their children. By filling out the forms and providing valuable information, Jimmy could potentially help his ex-wife receive the necessary treatment and become a healthier individual for the sake of ...

DSO and Dr. Pysch Mom Talk About Dead Bedrooms (from a livestream event)

In this episode, Dr. Psych Mom and DSO discuss the psychology behind pressuring a spouse about a dead bedroom versus ignoring the issue. They explore the challenges faced by anxious men in relationships and the importance of open communication. They also address the misconception that everything else in a marriage can be perfect except for the lack of sex. With insights into attachment styles and the need for compromise, this episode offers valuable advice for couples navigating intimacy issues....

Dear DSO: "I Feel Abandoned."

Luke writes in to ask how to overcome feelings of abandonment from his ex-wife. He feels stuck, resentful, and alone after building his life around her. DSO empathizes with Luke's situation but encourages him to take control of his life and see this as an opportunity for growth. He suggests finding new ways to make money, embracing the freedom to pursue personal interests, and seeking support from communities like the DSO Fraternity. DSO emphasizes the importance of accepting the reality and usi...

Dear DSO: "I Feel Like I'm Stuck in a Dead Bedroom!"

DSO addresses a listener's struggle with a low-sex relationship. DSO explains the dynamics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles and offers insights into the complexities of these situations. He suggests reading his book, "The Dead Bedroom Fix," and seeking medical advice for erectile dysfunction. DSO emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and personal growth before blaming the partner. Tune in for valuable advice on navigating a challenging relationship.

Dear DSO: "Why Won't He Propose?!"

Vanessa has been engaged for seven years but can't seem to get her partner to commit to marriage. Despite being together for 18 years and having two children, her partner is hesitant to tie the knot. Vanessa is starting to feel resentment and wants to know how to stop it from building further. DSo suggests asking her partner what specifically scares him about marriage and why it's so important to her. He advises Vanessa to either accept the situation, find a compromise, or consider calling it qu...

Should You Continue Doing Family Things with Your Ex? (from a DSO Live Event)

Jared, a divorced father, seeks advice on whether to continue doing activities as a family with his ex-wife and kids. The host suggests setting boundaries and prioritizing his own emotional well-being. While some argue that it's best for the children, the host emphasizes the importance of detaching emotionally and expediting the separation process. Listeners share their opinions, with one mentioning that if it's painful for either party, the kids will sense it. The host concludes that it's norma...

Dear DSO: "My Wife is Indifferent About Us."

In this episode, DSO explores the common scenario of one partner being anxious and the other avoidant in a relationship. He offers advice on finding a middle ground and bridging the gap between the two. While the anxious partner may be willing to put in the work, the avoidant partner may resist constant attempts to fix things. DSO emphasizes that both partners have work to do and need to find a more secure center. Tune in for valuable insights on navigating this dynamic.

Can You Go From Avoidant to Secure? (from a DSO Live event)

In this episode, DSO explores the possibility of moving from an avoidant to a secure attachment style in relationships. He emphasizes that both anxious and avoidant individuals have their own challenges to work on, and it takes professional help and effort from both sides to find a balance. DSO also discusses the frustration that anxious individuals may feel when their avoidant partners struggle to make progress. He shares personal experiences and highlights the difficulties of being with an avo...

Interview With Coach J

Jason, or "Coach J" as he is known by our group, is one of the founding members of the DSO Fraternity and acts as the director for our DSO coaches. J has recently retired from the U.S. Army and brings with him a wealth of life experience. In this very candid conversation, DSO and Coach J talk about what got him into the world of Dad Starting Over, his struggles, and his current extremely stressful life situation with divorce and his ex-wife's alcohol addiction issues. Thank you, J, for all that ...

About The "Forgotten Father" Tweet I Posted

In this episode, DSO explores the sensitive topic of men feeling forgotten after having children. He shares the negative response he received from women when pointing out this issue and questions whether men are truly not helping or if their efforts are being overlooked. DSO emphasizes the importance of open communication and understanding between partners to bridge the gap and maintain a strong romantic connection amidst the challenges of parenthood. A thought-provoking discussion on the dynami...

Dear DSO: "Am I Being Weird... Or Should I Be Concerned?"

In this episode, DSO addresses a listener's concerns about their wife's suspicious behavior. From late-night phone use to financial infidelity, the signs are troubling. DSO advises the listener to prioritize their safety and consult with an attorney before making any decisions. The episode explores the importance of recognizing unhealthy patterns and taking action to protect oneself. With a focus on self-reflection and seeking professional help, DSO offers guidance on navigating a difficult situ...

Dear DSO: Do I Tell New Gals About My Crazy Ex?

In this episode, DSO addresses a common concern: how to explain a difficult divorce without resorting to labeling an ex as "crazy." He advises being open and honest about the challenges faced, without hiding the truth or trying to win favor. By sharing the reality of the situation, potential partners can make an informed decision. DSO emphasizes the importance of transparency and authenticity, even if it means potentially scaring away some people. Tune in for valuable insights on navigating post...

Retroactive Jealousy (from a DSO Live Stream event)

In this episode, DSO delves into the topic of retroactive jealousy, addressing the insecurities and discomfort that can arise when a partner has had previous sexual encounters. He explores the dynamics of past promiscuity and the feelings of inadequacy that can arise when comparing oneself to a partner's previous experiences. DSO offers empathy and validation to those struggling with these emotions, emphasizing that their feelings are valid and not indicative of weakness. A thought-provoking dis...

Dear DSO: "I'm in Excellent Shape... But it's Still Not Enough For Her Libido!"

DSO comes face to face with a conundrum that plagues many married individuals – the struggle for consistent, fulfilling intimacy. The host addresses a listener's question concerning the frequency and nature of intimacy within marriage, offering his insights on the complexities of physical and emotional connections. With raw candor and a touch of humor, DSO delves into the nuanced challenges of igniting passion in a relationship marred by a disparity in sexual desires. The listener, adopting the ...

Dear DSO: "I Still Need MORE From My Wife!"

DSO tackles a sensitive and commonly encountered issue in many marriages: the dynamics of sexual desire and satisfaction. Delve into Daniel's story, a listener who, despite having worked on improving his relationship and experiencing an uptick in bedroom activity, is grappling with the feeling that his wife's participation may not stem from genuine desire. DSO, with his blend of straightforward advice and empathetic insight, dissects the complexity behind the listener's concerns, pointing out th...

Interview With Carla Crivaro - "The Forgotten Man"

I had the pleasure of sitting down for a nice chat with Carla Crivaro from the UK. From her website at carlacrivaro.com : "I started out as a sexually repressed, stay at home mother and wife with chronic anxiety, low self-worth and deep-rooted insecurities in all relationships from working to familial to romantic. I went on to experience a 'sexual awakening' which took me on a path of self-discovery. I consensually dabbled in play parties and dating while still married to my then husband and we ...

Dear DSO: "Is It Menopause.... Or Something Else?"

DSO addresses a message from a listener who is experiencing a disparity in libido with his postmenopausal wife. The listener explains that his wife's libido has significantly decreased since entering menopause, while his own libido remains high. DSO discusses the complexities of menopause and its impact on women's libido and explores the listener's concerns about his wife's past sexual experiences and her lack of desire for sex. Additionally, DSO offers empathy and understanding to the listener,...