Steve and G Break It Down II

watch how more efficient when we are? Sorry, hey, hey, hey, here you Harry. This is like your new tagline all of us. Where did you even come up with this? So? I love medieval shows like I love I love food. I am a fat guy sucking little guy's body. Um, I exercise to eat and so um I used to love why I love soured old French baggats is I love the like grab it, you know, just eat the eat the bread and right, and then they'll drink out how you explaining this? And we on the audio plan

but I'm all into it. And then they have the like they have the glass and they drink the wine and then they use their farm to wipe off, and then they grab grapes and eat them. And then they're at the head of the table and he got his king on his kids queen on the right, and his his princess and his son. Did you ever watch Game of Thrones? Nope? So you like all that medieval stuff, and the biggest medieval show that I think is ever you never watched. I know what you're gonna say, Okay,

they don't. I know, that's all I'm waiting. I'm allowing you to st your point. You kind so for letting me go after you. R and D not a cart jester um Bro. The Game of Thrones, like some other shows, the first couple of episodes off the charts with sexuality. I'm talking about especially. I'm talking about like I was watching it. I mean, first few episodes. First, the first thirty minutes of the of it's boob's laughing cheeks right, and I'm like, whoa, and I can't watch that show,

Like that's the kind of show you're watching. The wife walks, you know, she walks into watching. Yeah, and you're like, luckily my wife was into it. But yeah, those first like three or four episodes a Game of Thrones it was extreme, and there's like some other points throughout having many season seven and eight seasons, it was some other ones. But oh yeah, the first three or four it was like, wait a minute, hbox, Not that I know it's a guy that looked like me, that it was little. It

was a few times. And that's why funny. It's a safe place, man. Funniest thing. That's why I got basic cable. I have no Cinemax, no HBO, none, I have none that I got only only yes, only cable we have and channels we have is obviously I got the ticket to watch all the games on Sunday, but I don't

have any I got basic cable. Here's why. First of all, I don't want to have to explain if you up in a liver room or in your man cave and he's just by yourself, you turn it on and all of a sudden the Thursday night when you as a kid, or Saturday night about twelve am, and you're like, I don't know what you're talking about. What I came on

Thursday nights, I don't know what you're talking about. Starts with the all are e X I was he I was a young man and we had that blueleg cable or whatever real thing, and I am talking about real sports sneither right, man, yes, exactly right. And so I like, man, that's a hell of explanation. What you want flip it through that shuffle and trying to get to the remote. Gotta make sure you gut on that back, but make sure Nickelodeons on that last channel. So I just didn't

want to. I didn't want to deal with that. And also too as adult man, I got three boys. Man, I also don't want to get up and them boys out there watching you do you don't want you want the apple to fall further from that tree? Yes, I don't. I don't want no fruit on that tree. Right. So that that's why. Um, but that's why I didn't watch Game of Thrones and I here's a great show, but just for my mental makeup, for my immentry, just to that stuff, I'm like, yeah, I can't do this, this,

this ain't for me. I can't. But you gotta watch the first season and to get the concept of it. Oh yeah, I don't miss those first ones. You can forget about it. You trying to catch up. You ain't gonna make it. Yeah, I'm not gonna make it. So so here we are guestless episode. It's just me and you. Yeah, my no, we might know. Okay, let's go, let's get stuff. Be ready for that. So we are. We are unprepared, but we're just gonna win it. Okay, So get I stuff.

This is a section where Steve you you're gonna do the intro. It's Steve ask you questions. He may or may not have a follow up question, but here it is. These are randomly selected questions. You, Gerard, do you know what these questions? Do not know what? The alright? You know the tagline? Folks, buckle up, butter cup click all right, Gerard, Now this paper is clear, but yet my mind it's going all right. Susa guacam Why? Um just preference. I

don't really have a better. I don't have a better. No, I do like guacamole. I like it when it's fresh, and everyone doesn't make it the same. So the safe bet, I'm gonna say sauce. So would you say suca guaca bag? Guacamole is the same as bad potato salad? Uh? That would require me to eat everybody's potato salad. And I'm raised better than that. My home training doesn't allow me to eat everybody's potato salad. You catch my weight. So

that means your home train also or your adult training. Now, lets you know that everybody you don't try everybody's you don't try to hawk. Yeah, you know what the kind of guacamole I hate when you think it's fresh, but it squeeze. He's not the pre mad. Yeah, there's a couple where you can catch like some of your local grocery stores that we're not going to mention because you know they don't they don't sponsor us. But but there's there's a few that's out there that's fresh that you

can that you can buy this package. But now we're gonna go with saucer. That's the safe. Okay. So let's ask you if you can only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would that be? One thing for the rest of my life, one thing for the rest of my life. I'd say, I'm gonna sound like a sound like a fat kid, like to your to your point, fat kids stuck in the skinny skinny guy's body, Uh, pizza like pizza, So that that'd that'd be good. It's a little, a little good family meal.

We try to get that every now and then. So I'll wrote with pizza. Now. I'm gonna be on carbo over though, but we're gonna roll with pizza. Nice safe bed like pizza too. Yeah, we love some pizza. Oh yeah, you got a whole you got a whole oven over there. Hif Boyard thieves super Mario over there. Yeah, we do wings that you could do flat bread. You can do a lot of stuff in there at you so like, um, let's see, let's see, um, how many of these are doing?

We're doing five? Just one more, just one more. And then you start talking about pizza and threw me off easy. Yeah, um, I'll go a pizza too. Let's see. All right, you only can have five items. You're going on a deserted island, five items for your survival. What do you pick? All right? Firestarter? Okay, we're gonna do um. We'll do machete, We'll do um, we'll do can I say, tent, it's whatever I want to bring it, right, it's your fire right tent that gives me shelter. So I got shelter, I got I

got a weapon, I got firestarter. I gotta have a pot so you can boarder water because you can. I watch enough naked and afraid. If you don't boarder water, you're gon be sick. Uh. And then fifth one will do um cell phones so I can get the hell out of here, calls someone for help. You did so my minus minus firestarter machete as well I have. You can cut down everything with that machete and you can

hunt with it. Yeah, you can't block I got. I would say, I would say pot as well, but I'm gonna throw I'm gonna throw one in there airplane so I can get the hell out. You already gassed up with a pilot. If you got the airplane, that means you don't even make it there right back, you're gonna be calling me. Wait you left me? I got my cell phone right all right? Cool? So man, you know, um, I thought this would be a good episode, you know, kind of talking about just more of the you know,

everybody knows I played ball. Uh if you don't know, that's even perfect. I played uh sixteen years professionally for the Carolina Panthers and uh, the Baltimore Ravens and um, so it's keep pounding and ravens, ravens flock. Uh you know, once a raven, always a raven um and then um, you know, so we'll always talk about football, and football is obviously very heavy in my family. Sports is very heavy in my family. Dad plays in my pro. Mom ran track, Um, uncle rand track. It's in blood blood man,

so you know, grandparents it was. It was really cool. However, there are let me ask this first. Is this a safe place? This is absolutely a safe place. I think I think we referenced that in the in the get iced up just now, But yes, this is a safe place. Brother. All right. So you know, I get people all the time saying, oh, I know you miss it, mhm miss what and what in reference and you're saying in reference to football, Yeah, yeah, yeah they I know you miss it.

And now, just being retired and sitting back, there are some aspects of football that I miss and there's a lot more football I don't miss. What's what's the percentage of the what you're missing and what you don't know? I would what I miss? You missed? You miss the game? Yes? I missed the friendships. Um, sometimes I missed the the

physicality of competition. Right, nothing can ever nothing can ever substitute like going against a guy he elbows you, you ever with him, and just kind of that that back and forth, that that that horsing around like you know guys horse around and you can you can you can get things out of you can you can legally, uh be be physical with someone and and and get that.

So I relate. We had that conversation that part, but just more of the comp titition, like if you've competed in any level, you're always looking for that next competition, next, something that that that that drives you, that pushes you, something also that makes you extremely uncomfortable, something that you can you can look at the progress and go, I did that an achiever, Yes, something that you you know, athletes are always marked, thought about, measured by what they

have done and also held take it, held back from things of what they were able not to do. Right, Oh, he would have been this or she would have been this only if she or he made that shot, or if they would have made he or she would have made that pass or took that extra step right. And one of the things that's really made me think about that is, um, I've had the opportunity football wise two in the last week or show, talked to probably about

three or four, about four or five. Four or five players have either text me and called me pertaining to their careers. Current guys, four or five guys that have called me pertaining to their career. Not gonna go into detail of what, but then it got me starting to thinking. Every time I got off the phone five times. One of them was after a game this Sunday, I got off the phone and said, I am glad I don't

have to deal with that anymore. Actually, I said, because we can say that, I'm glad I had to deal with that ship wow and the one that turned my stomach though, And I could have cried Nick Boyle this past Sunday. Um he toward his knee and I saw and it was ugly. I turned the TV off and I went to bed. It didn't pat you that much. It impacted me that much. One you one, somehow, some way you you bring it back to you, but not

you as in like selfish you. But just like I know that feeling, I know that pit in his heart and his stomach. He's going through all of those questions, how bad is it having a major injury, Like is it as bad as they is, it as bad as it feels, because right now it hurts, but now you think also ahead, right, yes, and so I so I woke up on Monday and I kind of was like, oh, and he was on my mind again. And and I remember when I told my Achilles. I remember when I

told my Achilles. And when I broke my my ankle, and I broke my ankle, I tore the ligaments and the inside and outside of my ankle and fractured it. Yes, you had combo and every and both times when I got injured, I woke up the next day and was like, damn, that was a horrible dream. But it was reality. And you know how it was reality is I had my foot look back down. No, no, I had my foot up, and I got up. And when you get up, when you break a break a lower extremity, you elevate it.

Why because so you get all of you allowed of the blood to not the bad blood that's in that break not to sit there. So its circulating because it's the furthest thing from your heart. So that's why they have elevated. It requires your body has to work so much harder to get the blood in and out of there. But when you elevate a foot for seven eight hours in sleeping, guess what happens, What must go up, what

it comes out? So when you when I got up to use the bathroom, bro it burned all of that blood rushing there because it was its injured, stung to the point of where when I was going, I was like, it hurts because you hip hop hop and you're still kind of half sleep. Then I go to pee and that blood rushing out and pissed all on the wall, missed the toilet smith and the drink. The bad dream now becomes a living nightmare. I mean you you walk

through the physical pain of an injury. But as a guy who I had a high ankle sprand I had I had a bone spur, I never had an impactful injury like breaking my ankles, tearing my achilles. Physical wise, got that part. Mental wise, where are you? You just talked about right after it happens, But I'd love to hear from you. What's the morning when you wake up? Where is your where is your mental state of mind? I'm sitting on the edge of the bed and I'm

asking myself, will I get through this? Because of my my will to get through it no longer counts. And this is for clarity. Was this both times? Did you have that conversation with yourself both times? Okay, I'm an overthinker, over process, so I have a lot of conversations with myself. I'm also asking because you broke that when you broke the ankle, you're my fifth, fifth, or sixth years. Yeah. And then then then when you told your acatelles you're

you were you're removed from retiring anyway. You can retire that year. Yeah. Yeah, So I just didn't know if there's a difference. And oh, I really just felt you just sitting at the end of the bed and you're figuring out how I just gonna work out for me because you don't have any control over And that's one thing about athletes. You know you can You know that David and Goliath, you know he gets his stones, he is he takes a slingshot and he's ain't no sling

shot in this one player. You are David and you are Goliath, except goliathe is broken. And there's a question of your your higher power. There's a disconnection of your higher power. You are searching. There is no scripture to help you through this. There's a scripture you can read, but it doesn't stop the playing. Let's be realistic, right, you know. And and so it was really difficult in both times. And so in my mind I was going through, what is he feeling right now? What is Nick Boyle?

What is Odell Beckham Jr? What is Dak Prescott? What is Ronnie Stanley? What is uh Nick Bossa? What is Jimmy Garoppolo? I mean, that's guy after guy after guy after god that's been injured and they're all thinking the same thing. They're all thinking the same thing, which is, you know, the the social media and the Instagram post is loo get through it? Oh God has our back. But the reality is you're reliant on is this surgeon

gonna find something? And why do I say that? Is I told my achilles when I tear it normal achilles, Dr Bob Anderson does it? Yeah, Dr Anderson did it. They opened up my achilles where I toured near where your calf and your ankle is your the bottom of your heel um ankle and then in between your calf, So I toured he opens me up. My top is at the bottom of my bottom is at the tops like that. Oh no, And he said it was fresh

car tissue. I tore my achilles slightly toward back in May that year, so I was playing May June, I was playing O T a S training camp and the rest of it and throughout the season until I toured already on strings threads of achilles. So when I tore my achilles when officially completely tour, it was a double rupture. Sort tore in the middle where it tears. It also

tore off the bone. So they had to take my achilles, drill it with a screw, and I think it was I'm hoping it well, I'm thankful it was fully charged up to drill that they used, right, and they drilled it with a screw my achilles. They attached it back to the heel and then sold it back up to the other achilles because it had basically exploded. And so my I I was a double rupture to achilles. That that was the first double rupture he's ever seen, especially

on the older guy. I was saying, think about how damaging that could be. And we've seen other athletes. Remember Kobe tore his achilles. I ain't, but I'm just trying to run through. I'm just making sure you can pay yourself to Kobe said that, not you. I ain't Kobe, but but I'm just saying in terms of athletes who are older and that injury happens and stuff. So when you saw look at Cousins, look at book at Cousins. Yeah, so when you saw Nick's injury, all this came back, well,

not all of that came back up. I'm just giving reference and clarity and in context too. You go under the knife, you don't know, and that doc doesn't know completely. The m R I would say, yes, it's torn, But the m R I doesn't say yeah, it's torn because they scanned my leg, but they didn't scan they scanned

my achilles area. They didn't scan my whole lower extremity to know how significant the impact of that injury, how what was the full severity and what other areas did it effect because you don't think, oh, he's thirty, he's thirty seven, thirty eight. Of course he double ruption that. Let's let's get that, let's get over there. Body's heel as well, because you know it goes down there now, right, So that's what happened. So with Nick, and I saw

it how bad it was. He's also he's a great guy, right, he knows ball, but Ball is also all he knows, husband, son, and a child on the way. What do you think he's thinking all negative? And I'm not saying he's a negative person, but he's thinking like every other father, every other You mentioned your responsibilities with which you don't have right now, Yes, you don't have ball. Believe he's in his contract year. Think about it. He's sitting there going

what am I gonna do? His wife is being supportive. You ever saw did you see this? Uh? He's sixty or the sixty on Alex Smith? Think about that His wife had made it had to make a decision. Do I amputate my husband's leg? But here's the problem. If she amputates his leg and he comes out, she this is my This is Steve Smith. I haven't spoken to Alex alumni, but I have not spoken to him. But this is what I do know. Don't say me short

m hm. The doctors are telling me, they're telling you, the nurses telling you, we gotta take his leg off. But she knows her man. She better know her man, and she knows that what guy put in him is greater than what these doctors have studied. These doctors have studied books, but those books can't measure man's heart. Those books cannot measure what is in a woman, what's in a man that allows them to play this sport that very very many will try, but very few will accomplish.

And so I just it just made me think about that, and I start seeing all these guys get injured, and then the question marks that I know I've had. So I'm giving y'all a peek into the conversations, the inner dialogue that these men have in their lonely places when they when the you know, COVID is going on right now. So you you don't have people in the fan, in the stands, but what you do have is you still lonely. You still have to now you're still in your bedroom

asking God, what did I do? Room? Well? Did I do something in training that could have prevented this? We have to take a break, and do you want anything? We gotta pay some bills. I love cut to it, and I love it even more when you download us and subscribe, and you can follow us on social media too. Smithie, where where at that's at? Cut to It on Instagram, what about Twitter? At cut to It Facebook, cut to

It featuring Steve Smith singr what about online? And you can follow us at cut to It podcast dot com where you can buy merch and you can subscribe to us wherever you listen to podcasts. I got all my answers questions. Uh yeah, I got all my questions answered. That's what I'm here for, a brother, cut to a podcast dot Com. Another thing that I dealt with that you gotta have to you have to be extremely careful is um. So when I tore my achilles, I had to go back. I was in Baltimore, had to go

back and pack up my stuff. So I did not get back to Charlotte for a week. But they gave me pain pills. Yeah, for a week. Then I had my surgery week and a half later, almost two weeks. But I was still taking my pain pills because I had a double rupture. I was on vikingting for almost three weeks and I and so I was like, man, I'm gonna stop taking because I'm not a medicine guy. So I stopped taking a medicine. You don't want to

build that dependency on it. I stopped taking a medicine, and about two or three a's in Bro, about twelve o'clock, I would feel my body. I was starting to getting angry and or as as a wife, he would say, yes, I was. I was having withdrawals to the point of where I would rather go through the pain in my leg then go through the physical pain of my body. Of the dependency, of dependence, the dependency, and also I can feel my mind shifting. Hey, bro, we we heard

a mental thing. Yes, and so I literally wobble my ass with my knee scooler into my room, opened up by my bed next to my clock, took the pills and I poured them down the toilet. Now I know I wasn't supposed to do that. I poured them down the toilet and throw them away. I was probably another week until I started to and started to feel normal. I was upset. I was starting to get honor, and I remember vividly get him at Angie. She made not my my at the time disabled self lunch and I

snatched the play from it. I can do it myself. So how It's what what boggles me is how quickly your body developed that dependency off off of that injury. I wasn't taking to see you saying quick it was two weeks almost three, It was what every twelve hours, every six hours, But that that's that's a relatively quick time frame from the time that you've got injured to the time that but I was taking a two to three. And you gotta remember, I'm my Tyler's when my body

says I have a dependency. I had a tylerance of pain. So I had strong ones, right, Because there are times in the past I would have injuries, I wouldn't take any payments, I did not take anything. But this was so, it was so it was so much pain, and I would take So here's how I started. They gave him to me to take at night to just allow me to sleep, and then I start taking them during the day and I was taking them at night. How often

do you think that that happens? And I'm not even just saying within the athlete community, but it happens all the time. That this this is more and it's less. You know, people are gonna take that and say, oh, Steve was hooked on drugs or you know, it's more. Yeah, But what I'm also talking about is, you know, people asking me what I meant, Bro, I don't miss the let down of losing. I don't miss the high of winning. And I don't miss the bs that all these teams

that have lost. Think about the New York Jets, what they're dealing with coach Adam Gateson every week people are asking them about coaching decisions, play calling decisions. And you have to give the political correct an a politically correct well. We we just we we have all our trust in the coach that he'll make the right decision, y'all. Oh, and I we've already established this dude is not making

the right decision. He's already known that we didn't make the right decision about this this this right guard who's who's constantly getting beat. We have made the right decision about this corner who's constantly getting burned. We have, We haven't. We didn't make the right decision when we drafted this wide receiver who can't win against press, or when he does, he doesn't catch the ball, or when he does catch

the ball and wins off press, he fumbles it. Now, you I do want to You said something that was very interesting. You said, I don't miss the highs of winning. Someone's gonna hear that part and definitely be like, what does he mean? Like we all we all like winning, right, whether you play sports or not. Like you like winning the board room, You're like winning. You're like winning at you'r. You want to see your kids win at the recital, like whatever it is, talk to me about that, Like

you don't miss the eyes of winning. Most most fool love to win. I enjoy winning. But what what what is tough is the expectation of next week to do the exact same thing, or more so the pressure the pressure pressure pressure pipes, yes, or makes diamonds. But what happens when you're diamond one week and the fan makes you cold door dib the next week or doorstop and that that's part of that? Is that? Is that a heavy Is that a heavyweight? Um? Don't give him pc answer. No,

I'm I'm looking. So there are times if you watch me or listen to me talk or watch me on TV, I have What's crazy is every single one of my boys because we are you know, I'm not saying we are stupid, but because we're smart, our minds worked faster. Peyton when he was a little kissed stuttered like that his mind was working fashion his lips. I found how my mom told me a couple of years ago, and I would said, damn, I wish you had told me sooner. I started when I was a kid, just like Peyton

Boston stuttered when he was a little kid. I struggle. There are some words my lips and tongue just cannot pronounce. Like I say, I have to emphasize wash and you can still hear. They're just some words that I struggle with. And so performance anxiety and what I mean by really steve performance anxiety. When I used to train, I would have a heart rate monitor, and my I trained scientifically, So I had a heart rate monitor because that allows me to know how my body is reacting. What zones

I do? Peloton trained, uh um, treadmill and on there. They have four zones. I have five zones. My five zones is my peak, my peak heart rate, peak beats permitted. Zone five is between one no, I'm sorry, that's zone four one day, two oh three. Zone four is one oh one fifty nine to one eighty three and then one eighty two to whatever. When I trained, well, my trainer, we're training, we're training then we have to do my test conditioning tests, and we would do it once a

week to see where I was at. It was five four gassers under thirty one seconds. Well, he go, all right, let's do the test. Now. I would train and he would make sure I wouldn't peak too early. So if I was doing to work out or a drill, and it was if I got above one seventy at this point of the work at this point at the time of the workout, I would have to take more time to rest. So he would say, all right, let's get on the let's get on the let's get online. We

about do the test, bro. And when we could do the test either Monday, but we have to do it once a week, and that could be at the middle of the week, the beginning of the week, or the end of the week. When he say when he would say get on there, get online, let's do the test. Say I'd be in the one thirties and one forties brom he said, get online, do the test. My heart rate would jump to the anxiety because that was something

as what measurable. It had a clear cut result and I knew or not if I want or if I failed Wow. I don't miss that high of having that because in TV, whether you do good or bad. You know, obviously social media people gonna tell you suck? Are you Gray? I love you, I hate you. But it's a lot less. There's a lot less on this. It's not the like you mentioned, there's not the performance because I just I look at stats, I look at games, and I say, oh,

this team is good like the Seattle Seahawks. They're good because they have Russell Wilson. They're bad because they don't have the legion. They's not a clear win loss, no, but they're on page right now to give up average per game four hundred fifty six yards a game, right, that's the most in NFL. Oh yeah, screen door right, screen door with multiple holes. Right, that's a win shield with no Betty defense. And you driving a car with just the frame of the wind shield, no wind shield

on there? Why is all these bugs getting what you're saying though, Like just the weight of of of before me and I would say most people who are listening to our podcasts, most people who are fans of Steve Smith for or watch your career, they're probably gonna be a little bit surprised that maybe you you deal with that because who you see on the field, it's probably not who you're saying you had the internal dialogue. My internal dialogue looks different than what you saw. I had

to shut it off. It was so bad. I mean, I did give our listeners some examples then, sir, uh internal dialogue. Um. I had a professional sports psychologist who was beneficial. I had him for like sevens five seven years. You know he was beneficial because he taught me my daily goals, weekly goals, lifetime goals, yearly goals, a short term, long term um achievable. Taught me when I look at film by myself, just look at us data, no feelings, What can I improve? What can I you know, what

can I grab from it? Right down? This? All that stuff. He taught me that. But then he also taught me how to not do the Sergio Garcia. Sergio Garcia and what do I mean by that? Any golfers knew Sergio Garcia you see today as the older one, he's superb. Sergio Garcia younger was a mental midget. He would be leading tournaments and screw up because he cannot keep his focus.

So for me, I learned how to keep my focus, but also quail quiet the internal dialogue where when I got in the huddle and whoever was the quarterback say to play, I can play that play before we leave the huddle and see and visualize myself catching that pass before by the time he says to play, we say break, I've already saw myself catching that past, spinning the ball and dragging back to the huddle that I'm in, receiving a play within that twenty seconds and lining up and

doing that. That's what the That's what the sports psychology taught me how to do visitization on steroids, and I get that point, But I'm also asking what what were you saying to yourself's what's what's the what's the let's be honest, what's the negative self talk? You dropped that because you always fuck up. You dropped that because you

wasn't supposed to be here anyway. See, they're gonna know your frauds, They're gonna know this short receiver from l A. You're really not supposed to be here because you mentioned anxiety, and anxiety sounds like, man, it's the pressure of this place is coming to me and I've got to perform the team is depending on me to make this play? How does how does? How does that feel? If you go back in history, I call it pass against Uh. We were playing the green Bay package and I called

it pass against the Hall of Famer Charles Woodson. But in that play before that, we're in a huddle and I'm gonna close my eyes and I'm gonna tell you all the players that I see right now. We're in Green Bay is chili now? Prior to that, that should play the Jonathan Steward ran the ball down and he didn't warm up before that game, so he wasn't He wasn't fully warm, and they almost called him and I was like, bro, why did he want? He's like, I locked up? It was too cold out of warm up.

I said, boy, you're in a football game. It ain't a pageant in Green Bay. You were cold, all right? So I remember that past. So I'm going and we're going to huddle and they call it hey uh. And I felt bad at the time too because it was me. I think Rick was still on the team, but I can't remember uh he was because Jake was on the team and it was Moose and I remember he goes, uh, Smithy hey make this play. But before that, I had my guy number sixty nine, Jordan Gross, who was always

in the hudd thirteen years, never missed. We never missed games without each other. He played in college and the NFL guy that I I just loved when I played extra z all. I played ext in college and I played extent in the NFL when I was in Carolina and always looked to the left. J G. Number six, A's mcguy and like he always say, Smitty, we need to play Treville Ward number seventy eight, dancing bear as

UH coach Dan he used to call him. Um used to play tackle at South South Carolina, but they moved them to tackle because he was strong enough to play tackle, but his feet wasn't quick enough. But they were too quick to be guard. So that's why he was an excellent guard when they finally switched him over. Ryan Khalil, USC brother Matt Khalil played at UH first round pick played at the Minnesota Vikings. But Khalil was a great dude. He was undersized, but he was athletic and smart. He

could always get us out of a pinch at the defense. UH, even something that we didn't know. Um and Then there was the tackle that we got from Pitt. I can't remember his name he if he would applied itself as is better, but yes, Jeff Holton. Then we had Kendrick, who was we got him from New Orleans. Uh clown, great dude, right, had all of that. Then we got my boy, big Broad Muhammad. I just called u day. He called me Koday when I went in no no shave November. Then I had Schlick Rick taught me a

lot um. Then we had Chris Mangom or whatever tidy end that was, or Dante Rosario whoever that Jeff King played at Virginia Tech who now is a scout for the Chicago Bears. Then we had D'Angelo and and and then we had a short round with Mike Toober. No that was Revere but Brad Hoover right, And then there was me and when I was sitting in that huddle, and I go through all that because I remember their names,

their faces. And we had Christmas parties that I threw every the guys through through Halloween parties, and our our wives would all talk and our kids would invite each other kids to the birthday party, and I did not, and I could not let those guys and those families down, because if we didn't win that game, and we lost enough games, then these guys will get fired. The coaches will get fired. And the coaches got fired, then the new culture come in. New culture come in. He wants

his players, which means what he wants his players. So these players now have to relocate there two other cities, other places, and then our kids will lose friends, and then they wouldn't get invite to the birthday parties because they're in different places. All that is going through my head. And so when I'm saying, Jordan's gross who I've been playing with two years in college and then all these ten years, so fifteen years, I've never not been in

the huddle, what I might do? Number sixty nine, Jordan grows Jake delone, and then you always got John Cases set himself for the win, and then you got to pun of Jason Baker. I did not want to let these guys down. So jj would say, Smithy, you got me. I need to play, and Khalil would say you got this. And Travill didn't speak a lot, but when Trail spoke to me, it meant something. He say, we need you. And if Travill, who didn't speak a lot, told me he needed me, you know it's important and I didn't

want to failow. But if I pause and I say, well, we ain't supposed to be here because we'll sunk up anyway. So it's just a matter of time when everybody knows that you're from. So we're going to huddle. And he said, this is your play huntry circle, hitch under streak. I'm in the slot. Moose goes to streak, but he's only looking for one dude now when I'm playing, and that doubt I ain't age and eating. Oh I'm Steven. Y'all know him ass, Steve god Rest sold my grandmother, Betty

Smith's you called me Steven. My mama called me Steve on there's a selective few that called me by my birthnight. The rest of y'all gotta call me Steve Steve. And so I was, and I'm sitting in there and I don't want to let those guys down, and I can't let them down. And so I used to wear a rubber band or you would see me back in the day. If I called to drop the pass, I would clap, and that was a psychological reset where the players over

move on, let's get the works. Yes. And then if I had a negative thought, I had a rubber band. I would snap it to get myself out at that negative thought. And then I wrote on there with a pen zero in parentheses mean zero negative thoughts. While we're making this money, why are we going to work? And

that's what go through my mind. I had to have all these things put in place because unfortunately, a lot of times when you saw that face that I was making, I was fighting back the tears and the uncomfortableness and the fear of failing. Because if I failed, and that means I had to go back to A hundred six Avalon, I had to go back to seventy nine A McKinley Avenue. I had to go back to and Vaness had to go back to Anderson may So of the school the

elementary school almost got kicked out of. I had to go back to part of Vida school I got kicked out of, which made me go to Emerson, which I couldn't go to Palisades because I had to go to university. And then I had to get back on the bus, the number seven bus, UH the Pico to go to Senate Marican College, and I had to get back on that bus to go to back to Tacobear White us to work to make money just to pay for myself. That allowed me to pay for me to go to PRAM,

all of that. But but the viewer only sees you making the play against Charles Woodson. Yes, you're making the play against Fritz mud Keep to leave. We see that, but we never And thank you man for were opening up yourself, your mind and walking people through that's what's

going on inside of me. You just see this confident, uh ever, young, arrogant, dominant football player, but on the inside, like you said, you are scared as a button, right, And a lot of that is some of that the wounds of growing up in the inner city, the rooms of the wounds of being uh poor, disadvantaged. Uh And this isn't talking about my family, just just just where

we are. And so I struggle. And at one point, probably the last three or four years of my career training off season, bro, I just started praying through my goscious, help me get through this workout. I'm so tired physically. Do you think you mean? Uh? Yeah, yeah, I mean how much as I thought all the time right now with everything going on, I'm I'm such a thinker. Well, I'm thinking about Christmas gifts right now because of COVID, and every time you order something online it tells you

preparing for the delay. I'm always I'm a thinker, but I'm also a professional sleeper. So I have two buttons on, off and off. I'm on, I'm gonna go and go on. But when I'm off, right, you're talking about, dude. I was on the airplane for fourteen hours and I slept ten and a half of it. And I ain't talking about straight. Neither I slept straight. I'm hey, sir, would you after this meal? Can I get a drinking and snack early because I'm not gonna be up for the

rest of it. I'm not talking about like you know, I said straight, But I was on the flight fourteen hours and I didn't sleep periodically or I slept it straight. I think it's about that time. Just take a little breather. Good do it, Good do it. Let's get down to do it. Hey, Gerard, why did you get that T shirt? Oh? Yes, I got it from cut to a podcast dot com, where we have exclusive merchandise. Shout out to our guys

at seven or four shot. But yeah, you can go on, buy you a T shirt, subscribe to us wherever you listen to podcasts to bring it back. When these four or five guys come to you, you're essentially they're safe place. How does that make you feel? Uh? I just look at this man speak encouragement. Don't bullshit them? Yeah, don't he one guy? One guy text he's I said, listen, I said, and uh, hey, bro, how are you doing? I said, how you doing? Bro? Comma? How's your mentors?

His reply was wild, I didn't expect that from you, but much appreciated doing pretty good until I talked to the doctor and he told me the severity of the injury, and it broke me down. I said, damn, I'm sorry about that. I said, but if anybody can get through this, very few are made to do this, but but few are chosen to be able to get through it successfully, and you're one of those guys. His reply was, thank you.

I needed that. Nobody says asking that I'm sure or or, and then on the back end built them up because let me tell you some of these injuries than hey, everybody's not built for him. Because I'm gonna tell you, if someone said, hey, you get to have a double rupture, will you be okay? Will you? Hell? No, nope, not me, Steve. That's not my name, Stevens. My daddy Steve is right here. Yeah. Yeah, So that that's that's something that's just been wrestling with it.

I've been wrestling with it, and I've been getting up in the morning running, and it's just been reminded me. Um the process and being uncomfortable and in the midst of that uncomfortable nous. You may not see the results immediately, but if you, if you, if you hang in there and you wait around long enough, you will see doing pretty good. But but we're comfortable being uncomfortable. Yeah, but

I'm talking about even long, even deeper than that. Sometimes we want to be uncomfortable for that ten minutes and expect the results immediately. No, sometimes you won't see the results for six months. That's the other part. You know what I don't miss. I don't miss getting injured and rehabbing and physit and doing all the physical stuff for

the next twelve months. Think about that. You get hurt in November, but you really won't know if you're even close to the next November, No, the next November to start to run to see where you at. So it takes really, it takes you about a significant injury can take you between fourteen to sixteen months to be back

to normal. But what derails people is can they push themselves in that twelve to six that those four months in between the twelve and sixteen to get back to that normal because once you're healed, now you can start to work it. So it's like the mental process and and and the mental uh waiting games, the mental like you go, oh right, So I so when I told my achillings, I remember it was eight months of not it was eight and a half weeks of non weight bearing.

So I got eight weeks. I can't walk on it for eight weeks in fear of and I know some people that did it that they were sleep walking and stepped down and retort. Had to start the process all over again, talking about scared as as as you should be right, So you think about eight and a half weeks of non weight bearing and then that's when they take the cast off and then you start the other remaining talk show like okay, what's after the eight weeks?

They say, oh, you got another eight weeks of just trying to get the stiffness out because you haven't moved that ligament, the atrophy and the scarred to you break it down by massage. Think about it. Some people say, oh, you get a massage on your foot for eight weeks. This ain't massage. The massage heights, This ain't the this ain't the spy day every day it is. They use a tool to physically break down the scar tissue and it and when they break down scar tissue, it burns.

It's like the And then how they do it. They gotta take so when they cut you open, they gotta do which is the part that sucks. The eight weeks that is healing, eight weeks of those stitches and that new the new blood and healing. And now they gotta cut the ends of those stitches that they used to stitch you up. Now they got to pull them out. So now they gotta rip open the skin and pull out that little old string and then that burns. And then now they use the tool for the next eight

weeks to break down the scar tissue. And they're forcefully making you use that leg that hasn't been used in eight weeks, that has been forced to be in a certain position. You want to see a dude cry. Watch somebody do rehab when they have torn their A c L. And now they have to break down the scar tissue for you to bend your knee. I've seen grown men cry and scream and agony because they've had their knees straight in that brace. You gotta bend it, and how

guess how they bend it? They You've been to every couple of weeks, more and more pushing yourself. No they're not. No, you ain't pushing yourself. You wan'ta hear the screwed up part. The trainers pushing you, the trainers pushing your knee beyond where your scar tissue wants you to go. So it sounds like it's the physical pain and then the mental endurance. And then you go in there and you walk out of there and they say, see them all, I gotta

do this all over again. Self doubt, questioning how this is gonna work out, because let's be honest, just because you're six your surgery was successful doesn't mean your rehab your body's gonna bounce back successful Lindsey Van how many? How many injuries? She's an outstanding skier, but the injuries were wore her down to where she couldn't be the world record holder, the spectacular skier that we all known

her for. Not because she wasn't good enough, but the injuries took some of her skill away to so much that she wasn't what she used to be, Not because she didn't want to, because her body told her right, well, I mean for the same for for for the same way you checked in with Nick and you said, how's your mental last year? As my brother, how's your worst? I'm good, yeah, because I gotta do nothing that ship there.

I'm serious. But I just thought about it, and what it's made me do is be more sympathetic and reach out to those guys, to be able to check on them and say and let them know. You may think people aren't worried about you or concerned because a lot of times talking about sports, when god get injured, what did they say, next man up? There's no next man up and injury when you've been through it, you just make sure they know they're still playing a football game.

But we haven't forgot about you. That's deep man, I think you, I think you were able to break down a lot of again, the internal dialogue that people face, whether it's through injury, whether it's when you're on the field and its performance. You gave so much that I think will go a long way and painting the picture of of an athlete overall, because I just think that

that's what is sometimes void. And it's been the cool part about this this journey, would cut to it is that we're finding out from yourself and then from from other guests what's going on under the jersey, underneath the help in the locker room, when you got towel over your head, on the basketball, on the bench, on the basketball team. And it's been it's been really cool, man,

it's been really cool. Just let you know, Uh, when we have guests on here, we want people, we want you to be able to be to fly on the wall, to ear hustle into a conversation, to know that this is a safe place. Cut to it is just not a place of entertainment that you get a peek into side in side of people the athlete, but you get an opportunity for that athlete, that person, that woman to share who they are, where are they from? How? How is there? How did where they grew up shape the

perspective of how they see the world today? And not clothing all the from being honest, the bullshit of you got your questions of the controversy, we don't really care. I never really know what we want to know about the person man or woman because the conversation makes spark people to say, Wow, did you know this? No, you didn't know. You know why you didn't because you don't want to know about me because no one ever asked M. We're gonna ask you the questions that no one wants

to know or they don't really care to ask. All right, so we'll do since we're the guestless episode today, we'll do uh kind of an altered version of the Deep three. We'll do a Deep two and Steve, how do you self care? Make sure that you make it to the

other side of discomfort? HM? Well, one is it has been you know, self examining and and also getting people and putting myself in places to be able to be vulnerable and say I don't know what to do, so I go to counseling and kind of go through that process because sometimes in that process I'm like, um, am, I fucked up here, Like it's it's am I supposed to feel like this, and my guys like, how you feel is how you feel. Don't hide from how you feel.

You felt that way for a reason, then let's find out why and how and and that's how I've been able to connect the dots on you know why. I don't miss the game of you know what am I feeling and connecting that because I didn't. I didn't know and I didn't figure it out. So my self care now is being okay with sometimes going I need a little time by myself. Get get a run in, UM,

go hit golf balls. UM. Sometimes I just tell a fan I need to hug yeah, you know, Or I'll text my I'll text my kids in the groups chat. I just want you all to know I love y'all. Cool, And just so you're not on a on an island and we be vulnerable here, I've got to answer the same question and so I do the same thing, right, I go to counseling. UH, make sure that I try to do it at least once a month of being vulnerable.

I haven't done in the last couple of months. But just to have that check in, to to have that space where I can be okay, where I can let the guard down, where I can talk about what's going on internally that you don't communicate externally to certain people. UM, you have to make sure you have that space and also have have that space to where it's professional, to where it's there are things that you talk about. You know, you're my brother, so there are certain things I share

with you. There are certain things that I share with my wife or or other friends. But having that that place where you can truly organize your thoughts, you can truly learn how to cope, and you can truly learn a healthy cope, a healthy cope, and and how you can correlate things, whether it be trauma, whether it be UM, whether it be verbal abuse, or whatever may have transparent

in some transpired in someone's life. How do you cope with those things being an adult, Because I don't think if you haven't gone to counseling, and maybe you do know this, but if you haven't going to counselor you don't realize some of the things that maybe happen as a child, or happened as a team or whatever in your formative years. How it shows up when you're an adult, and it shows up in how you parent, and it shows up in how you or with your spouse or

how it shows up in many different ways. So for me, I have to make sure that I get that time, man, because it's just beneficial to me. And if I'm not the best version of me that I'm at a disservice to anybody else who I work can wherever you're at it, you're you are handicapping yourself and the people that if you're in a leadership position, you now whoever's under you, You, whoever's under now, you are handicapping them. Two for support

and guidance. YEA, all right, deep to part dose. How does overcoming injuries like that help you deal with tough, tough situations like the pandemic? That's a goodness, gracious, it's the most layered questions. That's a bullshit asked question I got. I got fed that one about my producer. It's a great question. Um, I think the pandemic. I think what what has gone on is allowed me to not panic. Uh sometimes just a look at it for what it is and say, yeah, we're in the pandemic. Okay, what

are we gonna do about it? Um? Are we gonna go buy up? Uh? You know where I am financially? Do I go up and buy up the whole toilet paper and uh paper towel al at Costco because I can afford it? To make me feel better? Do I go ransacked the local grocery store and bible all the eggs and milk and bread because I can afford it? No, yes, you have some faith in you have faith in God, but also you gotta let go of stuff that you have no control over unless you know, unless you got

the virus uh cure. I'm talking. It's definitely it's difficult, but you gotta find a way to go to sleep. So what I started doing. I stopped At first. I I limited myself to watching the news ten minutes. Then that wasn't helping. Then I went down to five, and then I just said I can't do it. I went probably about in the six months. I went like three and a half months and not why and any news to the point me and my wife would be talking.

I said, that's told. I said, I'm not trying to be mean, but what does what does that information do for our household? Right? Now how do we what do we take that information? How do we apply it to our household? She goes, well, I'll just let you know I said, I can't handle it. Information over though I can't. That doesn't benefit me to hear that twenty thousand strangers that I don't know are dying in this state. I can't go to that state. I can't fix them. I

can't write a check to fix them. There's nothing I can do. So that information right now, all it does is feed more fear. And so I was like, ah, so I quit watching it. Now I've been watching a little bit, but I'm still like, Yeah, that hits that hits me in the wrong place. I'll turn it off. You want to have enough to be informed, but it's soul is especially right now where we are today, it's so easy to just have information. Here's why I'm at my new ass. Can't do nothing about it even if

I knew. So what am I gonna do to change it? Nothing? Not nothing, nothing, Nathan Nathan. So I'm like, you know what, you know what I've done in the pandemic that's really helped me. My cooking game has come to a whole another level. Barbecue I did all I was barbecuing, I did, uh, I did send me the picture. Yeah, the beer can chicken.

How about this? I used a beer can, but I put apple juice in one, sweet tea in another one and then coded it, put a brine and in a rub on it coffee coffee grounds and see it was that thing. Well it was, man, it was awesome. And that that it's just i've um. I picked up in uh we do dairy free, grouten free. So I picked up a Southern dairy free, gluten free, Southern buttermilk biscuit recipe.

And it's actually good and they're fluffy. I used the coconut or almond that you're making biscuits, Well, I was. I was always taught. My grandmother had a catering business. She was younger, so she told me how to make biscuits. So, but you can't make them with We can't make them with the non dairy So I figured out, do coconut milk or almond milk. Bailey can't have almond milk, so we do coconut milk with white vinegar. But I don't like the tanging, this tartness, so I use lemon juice.

That formulation as buttermilk, and then put all other stuff making powder. Uh, don't use too much sugar, use beet sugar did And so I had some buttermilk, uh, gluten free, dairy free, fluffy biscuits. And then what I do. I put some real sugar, and then I put some sentiment and then it got sentiment rolls. So we got and this hoigh, No, they were good. Peyton came over to the house, my oldest. That boy didn't even heat him up. He took the biscuit straight out of the zip black

bag and ate them and said, yeah, they're good. Dad. So just that that's how I'm doing. Just find something. It's been great though. And in the pandemic we were also doing just to make it. Every three weeks, I would do fruity pebble rice Crisp retreats, So do the fruity pebbles now, I did Coco pebbles old fire, just getting us through it, man, And when they the kids saw, they were like, Dane, has been three weeks it all They're going those fruity pebbles killing them. So it was cool, man.

We just we got through it the best way we could, and and we I wasn't eating like negatively. I was just every couple of weeks do some something that made it a change up, but a changeup on the routine and it was good. So I'm Steve Smith, singer, I'm Gerard Little John and this is cut to It. Thank you for your tom God bless you. I hope you see you again. Oh we are cut to It with Steve Smith Senior. That is Me is a production of Cut to It LLC, Balto Creative Media, The Black Effect

and I Heart Radio. For more podcast from I Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows from Cut to It. Executive producer Steve Smith, SINGR co host Gerard Little John, talent and booking manager Joe Fusci, social media manager Peyton Smith from Balto Creative Media. Cut to It is produced by Brian Balta Chevitch and Meredith Carter, with production existence by Alex Lebrek, Production manager Sarah Hollock, Theme music by

Alex Johnson, lyrics and vocals by Anthony Hamilton. If you ain't heard about it, then we're about to let you know. It's all