Sam Acho

We're good. What up? What's up? Man? What's up? Man? Did you see that ass whooping the other night? I'm not Shelly Shalli. I'm not dancing around it. We were texting back and forth. We're supposed to hang out, but we didn't get a chance to because with everything going on with with with the pandemic, so we didn't get a chance to. But we're texting back and forth. We're

talking about getting the fight. So we were both watching simultaneously as you have to do now, and so, um, I was excited just about seeing Mike Tyson fight, seeing Roy Jones fight. Hold on, but why did Roy walk in that thing like he had a hip hip replacement. Roy was built like the appliants manager at like like, of all the I don't know how much leaves they had from the time that they announced this to the fight that happening. But my mind is I don't know.

Both these guys in their fifties. Tyson's fifty four, Roy's fifty one, so I understand that, and Roy looked fifty. Look about here's what happened to Roy. Roy's like, I'm done.

They got this fight, and Roy try to use every water peel, a golden seal, clean you up, and it still didn't want that boy had he got hit with the bad body pillow something like that's what you show after all these weeks that we had from the time that we announced the fight until now, that's that's the body you show up with, Bob, Like what comes you Catt now throws. But anyway, that's not even what we

really wanted to get into your card. Before Tyson and we had Nate Robinson who was going against YouTube star care what Jake Paul, I don't care where he was. He could have been a YouTuber, he could have been a drive through two fights. According to According to Paul, he broke his nose and rolled out of bed and whooped this ass. Well, the proofs in the pudding because he definitely did listen. Here's the problem I have with Nate, right, I think I'm mad Nate. I don't know. I'm not

in the business. I've squawped. But but we know everybody's like, oh, Nate's trainer needs to be fired. Let me tell y'all something, people, when did they start announcement? Nate did not listen or at here to any of the training. Once that bell roll, he was lungeon. He threw everything out through m what's that bell rung? He just continued. Any type of advice, any type of training, anything that he got from his training,

he didn't use. It. All went out the window, lunched in, hands down, and unfortunately he got hit with that two piece and and that Popaye's biscuit. You can't even you can't even chew that thing. I heard she want to say, what that eat? Twenty three nerves? That's what he got. Hit in the back of the head the first time he went down, and then he was frustrated. O refree, you didn't stop. He was too knocked up to be frustrated.

That second that second one he got, he got a he got a five finger dose a Nike will He is going to have to leave the country. Even Steph Curry got on, bro, did you see how bad? I feel bad? But then I don't. He got his ass whooped. You know how, You know how back in the day, like your grandma and your mom say, I knocked you in the next week, Nate got knocked into Nate next Tuesday, it was, it was, it was bad. He'll be back

next Friday. No, he won't. You know where natives right now currently after that fight, Nate is waiting for all of us to catch up with him. That's where he got nothing. The next year. What's that terminator? You go back, you go back? You got the T two And he had on. The funny part is is head on blue and orange on the Knicks colors. So he was dressing. He was dressing the official attire. Did you hear what happened? Did you see what Adam Silver did? He took away

his three times swam dun championship. He show us, he stripped him of all honors. We cannot even be associated with you. He got his ass whooped. And then every time you see Nate. What you think about by the YouTuber, I don't care you got knocked out on TV. Somebody got to get somebody, don't you see? You gotta get his He was sitting in the chair and he was just like, here's I'll tell you what he was thinking,

because I was thinking, yeah, what what? What? What? Give me the in sequence of from the time that Nate got into the ring, you want me to be Nate. Be Nate as as a professional squad, but as yourself. I've heard you got into a couple of rumpers before. I don't know. Give us the Steve Smith breakdown of how you would how you would have came in first. You gotta pick what would you come into the ring? It don't even matter because you got your ass. Uh,

it doesn't matter. Something something hype. All right, are you come in too? And you know they come in Oh yeah, picturing me rolling? Okay, all right, there you go. Yeah you can't do ice cube today. It was a good day because that was a bad day. Oh yeah, yeah. So you go you go in there and bang you in there and he gets in there. You're boxing. I'm about you better watch out right, they're gonna have to get this dude to Scooby Snacks. When I'm finished with him,

think Bay round one. Now what happens you're nervous, there's a whole two minute round. You realize her. Now I prepare for this, but I don't know if I'm ready. Mans own right, here's what he says. I'm about whoop his ass? Is that Snoop doing commentary? Yes it was, it's that Snoop. They got Snooper. Yeah, And so he's lungeon. He's gonna look, I'm gonna rush him. I'm a that ain't part of the rules. I'm gonna hit him. I'm gonna hit him with a flour reason. The only problem

his hands down the old time. So he just left himself over. I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get him. I'm gona get him. About a minute in that boy is painting. And here's where it gets really interested. So now he calms down. But yet he still has that athleticism. If I can knock for sure, Oh yeah, he's an athlete. If I can knock this dude, I'm good lay basketball, played football, he can box. He played a lot of things.

Game playbox. Know what that brother did not play. He did not play a good box here custom motto could have been arrested, so could have been his trainer. He didn't use any of his training tips. Anybody was saying that he trained twice a day. That was the issue. No, the issue as his brother did not adhered anything, no guides, no DC nothing. No, he didn't social distance. You don't wear his mask. He didn't did not social distance Robinson's face and then it just went down. Did you see

his eye? He laid that when he put him to sleep. That's how you know he was sleep. He wasn't sleep faced down in the mat. He had his head to the side. You know what happens when you have your head to the side, You and what they call rim sleep ut the s your body is recovering from a long day. The Navy had that shot of Nate when his eyes was all big and he knew he was going down, and his arm was already down, his arms

already down. It was terrible. It's like when you see a dude catch the ball and get hit and he's stuck in that position and they had to pry the ball away. Nate was he is how you know they got hit His ass was up, ass up, face down. Everyone was even funny with snoops coming to you. Man was awesome. Got knocked out the second time. Oh lord, look at my two uncles. Look grandmother, that I got

the fighting boy Nate got knocked out. And then what's even worse when they woke him up, he was like convulsive. So you know he was in a deep sleep. He was he was sleep always toy story when he was sleep like this. I'm gonna go through several things that I experienced when he was sleep. One five more minutes, Mommy, I am Batman, Donna Tello Leonardo. He went back several decades, Mighty Mouse, super Friends, the one he was dreaming about, all that he was dreaming about, all of that, he

was dreaming about playing in the NBA. Man winning the Slam Dunck contest. But you know what, he did not really not. He did not win his first did not in his last. I hope this is I hope this is grand, open and grand. He gonna have to he gonna have to keep fighting. I pray that that's not his decision. No, he gotta keep fighting, because you can't

take that. It's not a pivot to another sport like let's let's try, and it's something else like Jack's badminton, solitaire, anything, domino, spades, chess, jen Remy. I don't care. You know, it's something else. I just wanted yacht sie. I don't care. Uh Uno flip flip is I don't think he could be mother made talk. You're doing something, you know, some old school anything that he can get it dubed. I'm with electronic black Jack. Well, so let's have a moment of silence

for Nate. Alright, cool? So, hey, who do we have next? Alright, come out the cut to a podcast. We've got Sam Ao, an NFL linebacker that's played with the Cardinals, Bears, Bills, Bucks, and Patriots, and the author of Let the World See You, How to Be Real in a World Full of Fakes. Sam Acho, want to cut to a podcast, man, I'm glad to be here. Thank you all for having me, Thank you for joining us. So our first segment is called get Iced Up. It's our version of Icebreakers. Smithy

has some random questions. I have no idea what order there in? You have no idea what order they're in. I don't know if he's gonna follow up. We'll get right into it. Smitty, have no idea what order they're in. Oh he does. He got them written down. Listen, just because you're doing a few games. So I don't get a twist. We do the run, we all collectively do the rundown. But the ice up questions no one really knows.

I have like three or four pages of questions that I just randomly he picked, he got, he got book pages. He came in here next owners quick, and I got questions like I'm like, I don't know about this one, or oh I may ask a question, I'm like, uh, that individual may be too stupid to answer. So let me simplify it. You know those football players, those jocks, those dumb linebackers. All right, he go, you ready, ye, all right, buckle up, butter Cup, here we go. You

just finished a book that we'll discuss. Let the world see you. Are you a pen or pencil person? Oh, I'm a pen I'm a pen person all day. That's easy. And but that's it has to be the right pan though, something what kind of ballpoint? Ballpoint? Ballpoint? It's like the uniball, the uniball pan ballpoint. Ideally, you like the two I know what it looks like when I write with it. Okay, do you like spicy food? No, not even close, not at all. What does it? What does it do to

make you sweat? Well? Why don't you like spicy food? Because when I leave that restroom after this spicy food is it's a problem for my body. He said, it feels white love. So what was your favorite book as a child? Mm hmm, that's a great question. So oh, I know, thank you. I'm patting myself on the as you speaking. So my favorite book, I'm gonna give you this one. The only reason. And in our reality, like when I was growing up, I wasn't reading all the books.

I was usually doing the synopsis is and you know, trying to let me get the first couple of chapters. But there was a book called Things Fall Apart by an author named China Cheban who Chin. He's a Nigerian author, and the book was called Things Fall Apart. The reason I loved that book wasn't because of its contents, which is probably not the greatest thing to say, but this dude was a Nigerian author, and I'm Nigerian. We're reading about reading a Nigerian dude's book in my pretty much

all white school. So for me that was dope. It was like, oh wow, like we're in here, you know what I mean? And so things fall apart was probably probably my it's the most memorable at least book that I read growing up. I'll do that now. I can't tell you what it was about. But I did have to read that book. Really no flex, no cap As the younger generation said, I didn't. I noticed my support may my he who cares. I didn't read a lot of books when I was I was growing up. It

just was not something that was that was offered. Uh. But I love reading books today, and I'll read a book and I'll stop reading a book in a heartbeat, like if I if I get enough information, I'll take notes and say, well, don't make you stop reading it. Well not not not flextion or you know, not trying to be you know, prisoner of the moment. But I stopped your book, Sam three times mm hmm, because as

it really spoke to me, it broke me down. I had to go in my office when I was reading it, talking about your mentor and we'll we'll dive deep, but asking the permission to pass away that that really spoke to me and I have to stop. I literally start tearing up, and I walked in off. I told I was reading you. I told wife, I said, I'm gonna go in my office and do some work. And I was wiping a little little tears out of my eyes. So I know, we you know this is cut to it,

and we we got a pretty good following. But I cut everybody in the room. If y'all tell anybody that I was all right, last one, last one, and this one tell me everything. Now, I'm gonna joke around with you, you know, defensive guys and offensive guys. We always bantering back and forth. But I think you look like um, you know you from you just dark skinning, you play linebacker. You're ugly, so so you you. I'm gonna ask you what your favorite ice cream flavor is because you look

like you're like butter. But calm, first of all, I don't I don't know where it's starting. Man, he just racially profiled you. He just just basically profiled you. He profiled me by my race, my taste buds, by my position group. That's a problem right now. All the profiles Steve Smith's fault what's your flavor, Soucker. It's hey, I'm a cookies and cream guy. Every day of the week that ends up, since I've been, since I've been five years old until thirty or whatever. I will eat. I will.

I don't care where I go. Give me cookies and cream and it's not it's not I'm probably just not eating ice cream. Just give me cookies and cream. That's just that's my thing. So vanilla bean, I'll do with vanilla bean. I'll do vanilla bean every now and again. You were winning with the cookies and cream. I'm definitely definitely with Sam. I'm definitely big cookies and cream. But I don't eat a lot of ice cream. I am. I'm that black dude who is who is lacto? So

I can't eat ice cream. I'm bad business when you're not supposed stupid. But sometimes I have always loved it. I don't know why Rocky roll with a with a nasty I don't even think I've had that before. That's much with a nasty cake. Yeah, with a cake cone. You know the styrophone comb. If I eat ice frome, I gotta get like the kids size. I can't just can't do it bro, you know it won't do it. You know what I hate though, because my dad used to eat it, and I think that's the worst flame.

Butter ber cons that's all he would eat is. But it is so nasty. It's I don't really I pick out the depends where you from. I didn't want to say that, we say. I didn't want to say that. Nothing. All right, let's move Hey we have digress. But it's been fun. Sam. I appreciate you coming on again. You could get Sam's booked. Let the world see you. It's

a fantastic read. Um. It's true. Your transparency is also which which lead me to having you asking you to come on here, because you give us a different perspective. I also want your faith to come out in this. I got some faith questions I really think you are super qualified um to talk about and I think you're gonna appreciate it too, because at times, you know, when we talk about faith people, a lot of times it

gets turned off. But I want to ask you some faith questions that really resonate in how you have been able to maneuver through the game of football and then also the game of Let's just be honest. The game of judgment of of of of Christians. At times we can be amongst ourselves, you know. Um, A number of times I've had people come up to me and say, how do you call yourself a believer? If you're working on Sunday? What I've Yeah, I mean I thought so, but I'm not sure they've. I mean some of the

churches I've been to. In current church I go to now on that Sunday, they do a pastors off. All right, so let's start off. So what was your favorite team growing up? Any sport? Oh, any sport, any sort? And with the questions today, okay, oh you we ain't even got started. Brother, My favorite team? My favorite team. I like the Rockets growing up because a chem was part of it. But also so I'm from Dallas, so I'm not from Houston, but I liked the rock The mass

were weren't great back then. I like the Rockets terrible in in the in the nineties coming up, they were awful. Hell is black Man and then and uh and um, but then they got they had there was a period there they had Steve Nash, they had Michael Finley, uh, and they had but then they let Nash and Philly go and I'm like, okay, what are we doing? But but so the rockets, but also the Houston comments whatever reason, Yes,

and that was the that was pulled three back. Yeah, that was a big three back in the day Anthea Tina Thompson and uh yeah yes, cool, okay, so that would be those are probably my team's took you long enough. But like a linebacker trying to dissect the run, play stop, the offices are easy to boom. The tackle gives it away, the tackle past walking on the look like what you doing the tackle? Yeah, big hog my lace and it's pause for a little bit. We'll be right back after

this break. I love cut to It, and I love it even more when you download us and subscribe and you can follow us on social media too, Smithie, where where at? That's at? Cut to It on Instagram? What about Twitter? At? Cut to It Facebook? Cut to It featuring Steve Smith singr. What about online? And you can follow us at cut to It podcast dot com where you can buy merch and you can subscribe to us wherever you listen to podcasts. I got all my answers questions, Um, yeah,

I got all my questions answered. That's what I'm here for a brother? Cut to a podcast dot com Where are you from in a place you call your hometown? Great question, I'm from I was born in Dallas, so I'm from Dallas, but I called Chicago home right now and I'm a little bit of a transition. But well, well I played for the Bears for four years and

this city really embraced me. Right maybe for you, I don't know if that would have been Baltimore, Carolina that really embraced you, but shaka, yeah, I played in Arizona and y'all play in tap but Chicago really embraced me. Like I go a lot of places. Where I go here, people know me, and you know, I just feel like that. I feel like I fit in this city when it comes to like a need basis right, trying to help build the people up, but also just from uh the people.

I love the city. For me, Charlotte is the place now call home. It's only taking me about seventeen and a half years to say that. Um, but my football home actually is Baltimore. UM. I can go that city right now and say we're gonna do a charity event and people will come in droves. I can I can go to I can go to Baltimore and say, hey, we need ten thousand dollars for this. People do it a little bit in Charlotte. Sometimes it's like, well we gotta see, let me see what my savers in my

checking is doing. But you know, but both cities have embraced me. Is just I think Baltimore in a football sense. Um, well, they're just a different city, right in the football sense. So, Sam, you born in Dallas, growing up in Dallas, how did it shape your view on the world today? Growing up in Dallas? How did it shape my view? Well? I grew up in Dallas, yes, but my parents are from Nigeria, so we spent a lot of time at Nigerian events,

if that makes any sense. So every every first Saturday of the month, there was something called African Christian Fellowship. All the Nigerians from the Dallas Fort Worth metroplex, almost a lot of them, maybe all of them would get together, you know, these young parents and their kids would get together. We almost grew up together in a lot of ways, and so that those were once a month. But then also there will be events, whether it be weddings or

parties or whatever. Not even not like a party, like going to the club, but like this get together gatherings where we all kind of together. Go ahead. I had a family event, a family event, but it was extended family. So now, like like a lot of these Nigerian people you see in the NFL, a lot of us know each other in some way. And if we don't know each other, our parents know each other. Right, We'll be

watching the draft. My dad would be like, some random Nigerian dude will get drafted and I'm like fifteen fourteen, and I'm like, okay, we're watching. But that would be like, oh, I know defined out, I know defined, I know him, Like that's no way you know. Then the next guy, Okay, yes, yes, I know, I know, yes from my village, Like there's no way. But it's so true and so true. The way my parents even got to that my parents were

from Nigeria. They came over to Virginia. Initially was super cold up there and not a lot of they didn't have any friends. And there's some Nigerian people who they knew from their village area who were in Texas, who were in Dallas, and they said, hey, it's a lot of Nigerians down here. In Dallas Houston. Just come come here, like we'll kind of help you out family, and so that's how they got here. So so my growing up in Dallas experience, it wasn't like I really got a

chance to know Dallas. I just got a chance to know different cultures. Nigerian culture was one piece another piece and talking and I talked about this a little bit in my book as well, right, the Nigerian Peace. Also I went to church in South elk Cliffe, so like the South Dallas Peace. But then also the cool I went to was a predominantly white school, so almost like the rich the old money. Talk about pen, you talk about pens, Right, a dude in my class, his name

or he was a year or two younger. His name is Drew Jalish. He was in my grade. Actually his dad invented the three in one pen, the first three in one pen, so it was a pen that could also be like with like a highlighter and then a stylist for the new iPads and things that it wasn't even I pad. It was another kind of thing that was coming out back then. Right, Another dude who was actually in my grade one the not the scripts National spelling be Um Ross Perot who ran for president his

his kids went to that school. Um, I mean it was that kind of school. So when I say old money, I mean as soon as you're turning fifteen sixteen kids are pulling up in range overs. What were some unrealistic expectations and how did those unrealistic expectations impact you mentally

being a preacher's son. Now, I love that question. Some of the unrealistic expectations weren't the fact that I was a preacher just on So in Nigerian culture, I was also the first son, first the first boy, and so firstborn. No no, no, I have two older sisters, so that's but in Nigerian culture, the first son is the one

in a lot of ways who takes the inheritance. And why say inheritance, It's like okay, you go back to the village, but you know, it's like you there's you know, everything that you have will go to the first son culturally speaking. And so the pressure wasn't the fact that and I know we will get to the kind of the Christian aspects I'd love to get to. But the pressure that I felt to answer your question was this feeling of Okay, am I going to be enough? For me?

It was this deal of okay I I love to compete, right. You don't make it in a lot of whether it's NFL or whatever without competing. But there's also aside of me that really loves loves. I empathize with people. I empathize with their pain, with their struggle. What and so for whatever reason, I felt like that wasn't who I was supposed to be, right Nigeria. You been in Nigeria, the manner come on, get out, just hurry up. And I'm like and I'm like, can we just like, can

we take some time? Can I think about it? Can I for me? Right? Right? So for me and no one, it wasn't verbalized to me, but it's what I saw somethinking, Okay, am I am I enough? Am I enough? And so and that's for me personally, is from a culturally whatever. But if people go through that, whether whether it's in the church, in church aspect, or in sport or in business, this idea of am I enough? That was the question

that I grappled with starting from a young age. And so the preachers something that kind of popped in there a little bit. Um you know, But my dad was more than just a preacher, right He's a pastor at the church, but also is a businessman. He's also a Nigerian businessman, a missionary, all these things. And I've heard it said people some people don't have a father in their house, and there's this question of man, am I enough?

My daddy never told me I was enough. Other people have dads who are doing phenomenal and they still ask the same question, will I be able to live up to what my dad did? I don't think maybe if any where I felt, I would fall in that second aspect. Right, dad did a great job, but there was this idea of who am I? Who am I? You know? And that's why when you and I connected in Angola, like,

I just gained so much more respect for you. I always respected you watching you right like and even I'm gonna aid you a little bit, but playing with you on Madden when I was a little kid, when I was in the high school, right, I always respected you as a player, and that just the way you competed, the way it was like it something like people watch Honey Badger. Now, like you say you're gonna do something, you do it. I don't care what anybody else says.

But meeting you in person and seeing the way you interacted with those men in Angola and you talk about being honest and being vulnerable and being real, I was like, Oh, this dude's real. I gained so much more respect for you, number one. But also I said, oh, wow, he and I I think we're more similar than we are different, right, because it's I idea of and I've heard some interviews you've done, etcetera. But this idea of man like insecurity.

Insecurity often drove like insecurity would drive me in a lot of ways, even in college. Went to Texas and won a lot of wars and chant went to national championship, all the things, but a lot of me was driven by insecurity, this thinking, Okay, I don't know if I'm gonna be good enough for what everyone expects. And so it was almost be trying to prove to myself that I could do it. And it wasn't like I did it one time and it's like, yeah, I'm the man. It was like, man, I hope I can do it again.

And so that, to answer your question, was what I was dealing with, and that's what the book talks about this idea who are you right? Like, who am I really? Because a lot of us we put on these masks and we prot we talked about what I mean Like sometimes some of us it's the bravado, right, yeah, yeah? What what what? Others it's the uh, you know, trying to fit in right too, whether it's white culture or black culture or whatever. We put on these masks, and

I saw myself. I saw myself after I didn't realize it, but after wearing all these masks, I was like I was starting to like break down, like the talking about going to love and respect right, going to that book when things are going bad, like things were going bad in my marriage, these are going bad in my relationship with my kids, things are going bad with my relationship with my family. I just wasn't. I was. I didn't.

This is a I'm not even gonna use the phrase, but I just wasn't being who God and made me to be. And by God's grace, had a really good friend who saw that in me and who I was able to open up to. And and he actually looked at me, he said, because I said. It was a week before training camp eight, going to my going into year age, just a multi year, multimillion dollar contract. I'd made it. In many people's eyes, right, every other thing was a minimum people's eyes. You made it. You made it.

I made it. And I remember being a week before training camp and like I said, marriage wasn't Like I was, how do I how do I be? How do I be talking about lusting with your eyes? Like? How do I stop doing that? You know what I mean? Like people talk about like angry, you know, be slow to anger? Why do I Why am I getting angry so quickly? Right? I remember sitting down with a friend before training camp, looking at him and it's like, like, dude, I don't know what's going on. But I said, man, I just

need to get to once the season starts. So I give me seven days. Let me get to training camp. I'll be back with my teammates. Once I get there, I'll be okay. Because I don't know what's going on in my life. This dude looked at me in my eye right at a restaurant in Chicago, looked at me and he said, he said, Sam, I hear what you're saying.

He said, but if that's how you feel right now, so I'm concerned about what happens when when when you retire, when football ends for you, I'm really really concerned because then you have to now you have to address all the things that you have that football has allowed you not to address that I've been running from exactly. You have to now you have when you get up in the morning. Now you have to see that individual where before you can kiss him on the four go off

to work. And and it was you choose how do we interact? Do we do we go backwards and argue about what we did didn't address, or do we stay air quotes in the present? You know, we just appreciate where we are. What's the fear and showing not someone what it was the fear and showing your true self to your wife. Mm hmmm. See that's the question. Our biggest fear, it's human race. Let me be general and my specific biggest fear is the fear of not being loved.

M scared of being not even real necessarily being rejected, but just not being loved. Okay, I fear I fear death like I don't like as a follower of Jesus, like I don't fear death like of course, somebody wants to die. But like when my friend in the book I talked about my mentor right he passed away, said men, I'm ready to go see Jesus. I believe that heaven is real and like that that this life is temporary.

So in our reality, if I believe that the Bible says about heaven, that I really shouldn't fear death right, that's kind of one thing that people fear. I fear death right. Some people feel failure. I'm gonna try, I'm gonna feel I don't believe that. I think I'm gonna be since I know God gave me gifts to be success. I think I can be successful in whatever I do. I really believe that it's and it's proven. The track record has proven true. The fear that I have is

not being loved. So you say, what do I Why would I not show my wife my true authentic self. The reason why is that the she's the person closest to me, right Babba talks about it to become one flesh, so sexually, emotionally, um physically. She's closest to me. And what happens to the person who knows me best knows the real me doesn't love that person How devastating is that? But what if what if she doesn't love me? Man? I relate to that devastating. So this person, the real me,

will they love me? Will they take me from me? Will they accept me from Here's why I know? For me, Well, I've struggle. I struggle with the relationship with my folks right because of their womb. So, of course, how can I manage to have a how can I manage to have a god a relationship with my wife? What do you mean by a guy? True? Love? Got bit so? So some people talk about love like there's like a sexual attraction. Okay, okay, I'm look, I'm I'm not even

talking about the sexual attraction. I'm just talking about sitting on the couch watching the movie and being comfortable of like if I go for the hug, well she imaginarily get up to get something and then come back, and then she's sitting possibly with a further away, like I watched a movie with you, but don't act like we're good, right,

and so have it? You know That's what I mean by so for me, my first my emotional wound of love was because of what my folks, their wounds were that I saw and felt rejection, not intentionally, not because they intentionally rejected me, but I saw felt that that dynamics. So of course when I take that crutch and wound into my marriage that I am co dependent. I'm also performance base borderline. Hell, now borderline about on the scale of one and ten, about a hundred on the perfect

you know, trying to be perfect. And this is all going on in my mind trying to watch this movie. H so uh, you know, I think that's I think that's awesome. I think that you seen your marriage, you know. And I text my wife this morning, this afternoon and told her that I feel called that I have to build a better friendship with my wife, and I have to lead because the easiest thing for me to do is like, man, she don't really the whole thing is

easier not to am I barking up the right tree? Oh? Absolutely, absolutely, It's funny you talk about that kind of love. I mean, I can't wait till you get to uh, I can't wait if you pick the book back up and get the chapter twelve. Maybe I just skipped to chapter twelve. I think chapter twelve, chapter eleven, it's called a chapter about my wife and my wife and my relationship. Um, and that kind of love that a god they love you're talking about, that love that doesn't care about anything.

Going back to the story, I'm sitting down with my friend and saying and he looks at me, and I'm like, I don't know what's going on. He says, I'm afraid what happens when you retire. As he's saying this, as I'm like sharing with him what was going on in my life, like I'm I'm, I start to cry. And this dude had never seen this side of me, right, because everyone who had seen that usually it's like, oh, Sam, million dollars, smile, got it all together, looking good, playing football.

And we worked together. He and I had worked together, like we don't. He helped me build businesses whatever. And he saw me in my tears crying as he's sharing this, and he says, um, he says two things, says the saying. Number one, this is how this book even came about. He said, he said, maybe God is writing a book in your life, and you may only be on chapter two. Mm hmm, that's what he said. And and and he paused,

and I look up. I kind of wiped some of the tears away and he says, and oh, by the way, Sam, it's nice to see you. M it's nice to see you. And I'm like, wait, what what do you mean it's nice to see I didn't say, but if my my face is saying, what do you mean? It's nice to see me? Says Sam. I've known you for eight nine years, since you came to the NFL, all I've seen was this side of perfection. I've never seen this side of you. But it's good to know that you are human. M.

That you're human because we trained like robots. M hm. That's not just in football, not just in but you see what I said. I said we we trained like robots men because we all are built to be problem to fix the problem, to screw in the last screw, yeah, right to to you know, use the wrench, get it all, to fix all the issues. Yeah, we're naturally fixers. But also I believe that every men and women struggle with showing their authentic self. And then if you have enough

water under the bridge, it will really say that bridge. Yes, it will make it. At times you gotta hunker down, unpassable. Yes, Well, here's the thing we're having this conversation. Right, nice to see you. He actually recommended I talked to a counselor. That's a good brother. Therapist, that's a good brother. In mind you I like, I'm my dad is a therapist.

My dad's a counsel so I kind of know he's a Merritt counselor, so I kind of know, feel like I know what they're looking for, what to stay away from? Whatever is? I never really you know what, I never really In other words, that you feel when you went talk man, when he first recommended that you go see a therapist, how did that make you feel in that moment? Well,

at that moment, it was loved. I knew he loved me, because, Bro, my marriage is about I felt like my mayor the way I was acting, my marriage would have been in the tank, right, my relationship with my kids, no, I would have no friends, no nothing. I mean all these things he has successful in money and thank nothing. And so that I felt like that was the kindest thing anyone could have done for me. And you know what,

I said, yes, I said yes. And so the very next week, which is the dudes first opening, Um, we actually reported a training camp that night. That morning in Bourbon, Illinois, right two hours away from Chicago. That morning, I'm up, I'm up in uh I remember what the what? Forty minutes worth of the city in Barrington, Illinois, sitting in the council's office the first time in my life. We're sitting down and I'm in mind you right, Okay, I'm here, but let me just get in and get out right, perfect.

I got you don't You don't know me, but I'm I'm saying I got this handle right. Let me get my session or two and check it off the list. That's what I thought. I walk in that meeting. He asked me a couple of questions, and he asked me one specific question. He said, hey, Sam, I got a question for you. What do you do when you get angry? My answer is simple, So I just I just try not to get angry. But then he asked me, he said, no, Sam, well you know what do you do when you get angry?

I said, I just really just trying not to get angry. He looks at me, he said, Sam, everybody gets angry, So what do you do when you get angry? And once again, now a week later, now in front of a counselor I began to cry. Mhm. Why I cried because he he wasn't gonna let me. I cried because I was about to be seen mm hm. And and he wasn't gonna There was no escaping that moment, right Usually like you're talking about, Okay, I gotta go, I'm going to crack, i'n go, I'm getting my car on

a drive, I'm whatever on. Want a second, hold on a second, because I don't want to miss this. You struggle to answer this right now. And here's the thing I want to. I want to I want to hug you on this. You have written a book. You are the son of a pastor, son of a counselor, and yet you are just like the rest of us, flawed, human,

non robotic, and you didn't want to reveal. Even after publishing and accomplishing what you've accomplished through the Council and going through the Council, you still kind of tiptote running around, and I appreciate it. Don't don't let are questioning because you're giving us old Don't let that deter you from speaking the truth. Because somebody else is listening to this who does not have the advantages or the head start on life that you have, but they still got the insecurities.

They still have their insecurities. Mm hmm. That's real. And what would you say to that person who still has insecurities that that's listening right now because somebody, somebody talk to me. Then if nobody talk, if nobody else in this room got some insecurities, I I'm not facing on the sword. I'm just raising my hand. I gotta hold. I'm from North Coost. I got a whole heap of insecurity. So what do you tell? What do you tell Smithy who has insecurities? Because I have my bank account is good,

my life is good. But I still question question everything I questioned. Maybe I should have made that catch, or maybe I should have went to this team, or maybe I should have went to Baltimore sooner, or maybe I should have said in Carolina. Maybe should have World nine, Maybe I should have warred him? Right? What tell me? Why is my insecurity? Okay? God takes the light in you. God like God enjoys being around you, like he loves when you spend time with him. He loves spending time

with you. He loves you, all of you. The insecurities, the doubt, the shame, the pain, the fear, the trauma. He loves all of you. And know he didn't intend for the trauma to happen or the shame to happen. No, but he'll still use it for his glory and for you're good, for you're good, and it won't stop there, because hes gonna He's gonna use you as a conduit for other people's good. All the trauma, the pain, the fearity insecurity, the doubt, the shame that you've been through,

that you've shouldered because you have broad shoulders. Right, God gave you that for a reason, all of that. He hadn't met mean for you to carry it, intend for you to carry, but you decided to carry. And that's okay. But you carried it, and now someone else doesn't have to. Right. But in the midst of that, right, it's not about them, It's about you. In the midst of that, God wants you to know that he is not only is he for you, but he likes you, like he really really

likes you. It's not like, oh, I love you because I have to love you, or you're my son like I was like, no, sybybe I like you. I love the way you compete. I love your heart. I love the way you love people well. No people don't know this. You love people well and I love that about you. And no, you don't have to be ashamed about that. People need that. I try to push people away. I

try to make it, try to make myself vable, unapproachable. No. The key word, he sam said, is But the thing is, there's nothing you can do that will make God love you any less, right like, even as you try to push. And I experienced this firsthand. But it's not about me. Let me not go to me right now. But there's a song says he saw the best in me all right when everyone else around could only see the worst in me. He saw the best in me when everyone else around could only see the worst in me. And

he's mine and um his. And it doesn't matter what I did. He only sees me for for who I am. No matter what you have done, God sees you for who you are. And so what I would say to you is I would say, get to know Jesus, spend time with them. I didn't say go to church. I didn't say what get to know Jesus? Open up that word. Not with your wife, not with the kids, by yourself, with you and God. Talk to him. Oh and by

the way, listen to him. Oh and by the way, let him love you because he sees the best in you. And yes, other people, they may see the worst, and that's okay, that's okay, because it's not about them. Right there there, little aunts, this is the creator of the universe. Mhm. So yes, the insecurities will come, but I'll remind you to breathe. Breathe Number one. Number two, be kind to yourself. I learned that from the counselor be kind to yourself. That little kid in you. You don't want anybody to

see that you try to protect and bow up and flex. Right, that little kid, He's still there, and God loves him. God loves him, and I understand you want to protect him, and that's that's okay. That's that's that's that's okay. But sooner or later, and as you're realizing, right your adult this is you know, that adult, like the Steve, the grown adult will step in and and take the job and protect that little kid inside of you. But the way that happens is why we gotta breathe. We gotta breathe.

Gotta let it go. I gotta let it go. M gotta let it go. You accept payment plans for counsel. I think it's about that time. Just take a little breather. Good do it, good, do it. Let's get down to do it good. Hey Gerard, why did you get that T shirt? You mean this thing? Oh? Yes, I got it from cut to a podcast dot com where we have exclusive merchandise. Shout out to our guys at seven or four shot. But yeah, you can go on, buy you a T shirt, Subscribe to us wherever you listen

to podcasts. Explain to Sam what our Deep three is. So our deep three Sam is basically a series of questions, three questions that will ask you that just basically takes us to a deeper level. Who is Sam beyond your jersey, behind your helmet? So Smitty give him the first deep three questions? Are doing your playing days? You were striving for excellence or perfection, all perfection? And how did that

hurt you now that you're looking back on it? So it hurt me tremendously until that moment where I realized I could be me. I could be me because I was realizing, like you said, like Bro, it was one year team playing with Arizona. Like the coaches were telling me I was a bad player essentially, and I'm like, no, I'm not a bad player. I had to go back and watch the field myself because I with what I was doing. I was trying to do it their way. I'm on the edge. Coach, Look, I kept contained. Look

you told me to be outside. Look, look, look I did my job. And all of a sudden, ten with ten games in, it's like, well we we're losing games. Well, anybody could anybody could keep you? Anybody, bro, coach, you told me to do that? I thought you see know what I mean? No, go make plays? Oh now I make plays. But before you're giving me check marks? So what change you're getting pressure now will be the DC,

you know what I mean. So so anyways that it hurt me tremendously early on, trying to people please right the Bible Times about it. You can't you know you can't serve two masters, right, Damn that coaches in Tampa Bay scrowing that up right now, any man, Well I told you I'm not bringing up coaches, manau I did together. But yeah, so I was striving for perfection and then. But later in my career, I think I started now, I think I started to shrive for excellence. I started saying,

you know what, God, I'm doing this for you. I'm not doing it for them, because what happens is I started doing it for my coaches, and either I get the approval that I want and and it doesn't feel me, or I don't get it and I'm like, why aren't they giving me? You know why I'm getting, you know, game ball or what you know what I mean? And so I said, you know what, forget y'all, I'm doing this for God. And I started playing super super well, even even and even if it was a few plays

or a lot of plays. So, Sam, your your husband, believer, your football player. Now you're an author. How do you handle disappointment? You don't want to know I do, I guess you that's why you asked g honestly, dude, like, I don't do well with disappointment. I really don't. I get like sad, you know what I mean, I'll get sad. I'll be like, man like, what did it? Why did not? Why didn't it go the way I thought it was gonna go? So kind of even as I'm saying now,

I could feel my heart getting sad. You know what I mean, Because I'm thinking about some of these times, whether it was football or even book stuff or whatever, things that could be so great, right, and I'll get sad. And that's how I That's how in the past handle it. I'm what I'm working towards. Um. There's a verse that says, like in everything, give thanks right, and everything give things right.

There's another verse that says, Philippines four, I think six, don't be anxious about anything, but in everything, don't somebody slow down. Don't be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, like asking, asking, asking right, and with thanksgiving, let your request be ma known to God, and the peace of God, what surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds. In Christ Jesus, how do you handle disappointment? How do you handle anxiety? What I'm

learning to do is to be thankful. So the biggest things I'm learning to do is instead of being sad about whatever expectation that I felt wasn't met, I'm learned to say thank you for whatever I do have, and even if it wasn't met, at that time, man, God, thank you, thank you. And then I start remembering, oh wow, I got a lot. You know how Manna, how gonna bothered? You got a lot? I got a lot. I got a lot. You know what I mean? Thank you? You know what I mean? And so that, and then also

talking for me talking. If you ever cast me not talking, you know, I'm probably not in a good place, you know what I mean. And then talking or even share with my wife right or the counselor with a you're talking my wife, you're going that out sad about something, you know. I was doing my first show and I was like, man, I feel like I did a good I know I did it good, but I didn't tell my agent that. You know that, I really love it

and I am I gonna get more opportunities. She said, just call them, Just call your agent, tell him, tell him what you want to tell. And I was like, oh, really I can do that, ye know what I mean? Like the enemy wants you to think that all hope is lost. Enemy the devil right like wants you to think all hope is lost. And see you should have changed numbers. Shouldn't than this. My dude I met with said, don't shoot on yourself. Don't shoot on yourself. Don't shoot

on yourself. So what do you think Jerry Price would say about your book? Mhm mm hmm. Uh, I think he would. Uh. He would be proud of you. Yeah, he would be proud of the young man that has been on this podcast as has allowed his pain and his insecurities to live throughout every essence, every fabric of that book to be able to be transparent and be open and not to be afraid of the people to see the same. The Sam macho, the damaged, the strong,

the wounded, the worthy, the unfitted. The last thing he told me, Um, I'm wiping the tears away from my eyes right now. A mind too, bro. The last thing he told me, he told me two things. The last two things he told me, he said, Number one, Sam essentially on his death behead right my mentor my so he Uh, he said, the most important thing you can do on this earth is to get to know Jesus. I don't care about achievement. This dude has done at all. This dude was, you know, talking about NFL to due

was an MLB. As far as counseling all the things about the mark to share is all the best baseball players like they would sit in his office for marriage help and life he help or whatever. It's a man among he was a man of God. Mhmm. And he said he's my next door neighbor. He was my mentor, and he had cancer and it wasn't getting better. And um, so he posted a message on Facebook. This is chapter one is introduction of the bookcase. You who haven't got

it yet stopped three. Yeah. He wrote a message on face and and I didn't. Here's another part committee He hadn't. He had messaged me a few months before during the season, but I was busy and I, you know, had stuff going on, so I didn't respond. And I respond, Oh, you know, I got something. I'll get back to it. Um. He posted on Facebook post asking for permission to go, permission to go? Tell me to die? He posted on Facebook problem Facebook you no, No. He a public message

on his Facebook page. He's been going through this cancer battle for five seven years and it wasn't getting any better. This dude knew God, and knew God well. He was ready to be go home, seventy some years already to go see Jesus. He was ready and he knew it was He knew it was his time, so he posted on Like a true gentleman, he posted. He shared with his friends, Hey guys, I'm ready to go home and see Jesus. Um, I just want to let y'all know

I want to see if I get your permission. And so my wife saw that post, said, hey, have you called Jerry? Was like, yeah, I'll get to him. No, no no, no, like, have you called Jerry? She shares the post with me. I called immediately, and this man like this, you know, he's like you man like in your face, will tell like it is, don't give a crap what you think or what you say. Well tell you the truth. A gregarious, energetic, strong, And now we're on the phone. And he was weak.

He wasn't it was it was like a shell of him. And so I said, Jerry, he said, you know, I said, I don't want I don't know what you want me to tell you. And you said, I'm ready to go see see Jesus. That's like, what do you do? What do you I want to say? Um? You know, I said, I don't know what I want to tell you, but I do need something from me. I need some some advice, anything, anything you could tell me about life, about deaf anything

you could tell me, what would it be? And the last two things that I ever heard from my friend. He said, Number one, the most important thing you can do on this earth is to get to know Jesus intimately. He said, God takes no greater joy than when you get to know his son. Get to know Jesus intimately,

and you will get no greater joy. Many the last few nights mornings, I'm getting up um and getting to know Jesus, spending time in the Word of God, reading just reading, not a verse or two, just trying to open up and see what happens, and praying and I'm learning, Oh wow, God really does love me, he says, asking to be given to you? Why so God can receive the glory. Whatever you want, he says, if it's in God's will, you ask for it. Why do you want me to ask for Because I love you, I literally

love you, he said, get to know Jesus intimately. And the second thing, the last thing that he said, he said, you are worth getting to know. Never forget that you are worth kay okay, he said, you are worth getting to know. And so I think what Jerry would tell me. Now and the book is out and stay well done and there's more to come. When's the last time you shoot it on yourself? Man? Several times? About ten times today.

You know it's just for me. It started this morning, just that run and I'm doing, you know, going through that process being uncomfortable. Um, you know a process of changing the the butterfly, the calipillar, all that stuff. It's it's it's tough. And you know you look up and you gotta stop, watch your time and you look up and said you figure out for the minute run you can still got twenty five minutes of what are you gonna do? Right? For me, running has become that place

where I get to examine myself. I get to examine my heart. I'm up, the house is quiet. You know, I spend my time in the world word, but it also telling me how I have to with Sam is help your communities. For my desire now is leave an imprint, Leave a legacy for my family, not leave a financial legacy. Believe something that when you imparted in them. Yeah yeah, that's good. Yeah, Well, I mean for me, taken away from don't shoot on yourself is what should I be doing?

Looking right, I should be doing this, and that turns into the internal battle, Well, I should be I should be up earlier, I should be uh spending more time with my daughter. I should be spending more time with my with my son, with my wife, whatever the case may be. So I'm when he said that, it immediately took me to the place of I'm always beating myself over what I should be doing. I should be at worked longer, I should be a work short, your bosson

your job. Yeah, you should be look at but then I have Then you have to balance that with I should be spending more time with my family. I should I should unplug, I should be working a little bit long, like all those different things. So, um, it definitely gives a lot of things to think about, you know, and and and he gave us so many nuggets and his book that I've been able to start let the world see you how to be real in the world full of fakes. Man. He has got a winner on his hands.

If you haven't, you should be behind his book. Appreciate your time, Appreciate you listening to us until the next episode. I'm Steve Smith Senior. I'm a Little John, Just cut to It. Cut to It with Steve Smith Senior. That Is Me is a production of Cut to It LLC, Baltol Creative Media, The Black Effect, and I Heart Radio. For more podcast from my Heart Radio, visit the Heart Radio, Apple Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

From Cut to It. Executive producer Steve Smith, singer co host Gerard Little John, talent and booking manager Joe Fusci, social media manager Payton Smith from Balto Creative Media. Cut to It is produced by Brian Baltaschevitch and Meredith Carter, with production assistance by Alex Lebrec, Production manager Sarah Hollock. Theme music by Alex Johnson, lyrics and vocals by Anthony Hamilton. You ain't heard about it, then we're about to let you know. It's all