Chef Tiffani Faison

into that. Um can't. Nobody saidhi to me. I'm just sitting here, Oh Joe, Hey, fellas, what's going on? Stage Joe? Stage Joe, Joe, every guy? I mean my own Mike Hot because I want to be cart it since I missed y'all, Mike hutting backdoor, Joe. I'm already ready to be done with stage. That's not my stage name, Mike Hot. That's that's a that's a different ballgame, son, all right. So, um,

so I had to I with the pandemic. I really kind of Me and my wife had a great understanding conversation was like, look when the pandemic is over everything we want to do traveling wise, let's do it. Because one of the things I feel like the pandemic did do it exposed blind spots and myself. I can't really say about my wife or buddies. I just say for me, and in that blind spot, I'm not really a camper.

So I did some camping, camping, camping, yes, camping, like like backpacking and like r V camping, like a smart s'more, like a pull up to an RV camp and clean out the toilet and grind up the items in the toilet. It's like some MTV road Rules type stuff. No, not no role rules the Smiths. No, I didn't see that show. Yeah, it's new w brocome back. So so one of so one of the things I did was I went back on. I went back home and I saw some things. Um, and it was good for man. And every time I

go back home. I used to go back home a lot when I was in the league. But when I go back home now, um, it's a different resett and in it, uh it energizes me, It resetsed me, gets me back on my focus to where Uh I come back hot, I come back focused and so, um, one of the things it did is it triggered and reminded me something that I experienced when I was young, when

I was probably in the seventh eighth grade. And so it leads me to, um, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm always big on words and definitions, and um, so I'm gonna ask ask both of you, two gentlemen that I called friends and brothers, what's your family heirlooms? And so I'll read up and give you the definition of where the heirloom is. So it says the first one a a piece of property such as a deed or or a chapter that descends to the air as an inseparable

part of inheritance of real property. Two which I feel like this applies to something of special value handed down from run generation to another. And for me, one of the things that I realized what was handed down to me was I was handed down whether my family knows it or not. And something that I noticed is to take away that part of day dreaming, taking away of short change in yourself. When I was when we were I believe either eight or my freshman year, sophomore year.

I can't remember exactly what great I was in And the reason I started my foundation is my mom was fleeing a domestic domestic violence situation. And when my mom was fleeing that domestic violence situation, um um, some folks came on some church, a church that you know, we kind of went through here and there, um came home. So when she came home, she was told we told my mom came home and say, hey, we gotta go pack up all your stuff. Uh. And so when she

packed up all her stuff, we had to leave. And we lived in a motel for about a week and I had to catch the bus and and then after that I went with an aunt. And I'm not gonna say that this is his name because a little my family, uh so of my family listens to the podcast. But this aunt made me and my mom and my brother when we came there to kind of stay until he until my mom's husband, who was not my father's name

was Sylvester Morris. Sylvester was very abusive. Sylvester was he was at the actually at that time he was before they you went through t s A became TS. He actually used to smuggle, he used to clean the money and basically he had going on a trip and be strapped with ten thirty thousand dollars worth of cash and then taking on site and so we used to get that money. Um. But he was also he smoked crack. He smoked weed to keep during the week. But he's

smoke cracking. Every time he would go do one of those money cleaning deals on the airplane, he get missing for a couple of days. And so when he got missing this last time, my mom we was like, we're out of here. And so when we left, Um stayed in the motel and then we went with my aunt and my aunt made us clean her her duplex or her apartment in our house whatever it was. And they had three bear rooms and she made us basically to

pay the rent. That was our way of pain. And why do I say that is more if I didn't realize that in a desperate time with family, my aunt made us clean her house so we can stay there. And then my mom was like, you know, Steven, if you want to make it to the league, because I was doing bad, and obviously school was a little bit of the last thing was on my mind at that time. Uh,

and none of my boys back home. I was going to school with new they just thought I still lived on was half Cambridgeway, and none of them knew that we were where we were living, and so I got on a different bus stop and all that stuff. So I wasn't doing good at school. My mom said, you know, if you if you want to do what you wanna do, go to school, you know, go to you want to play ball, like you said playing college. You gotta pay attention. Man, you need steve an. You need to tighten up. And

Mom asked me, what do you want to do? So I want to go to the league. And I never really put it in this perspective, but I remember she saying, she told me, you need to have a more realistic dream. And bro, that crushed me. If I'm being honest to pissed me off. It pissed me off to the point of this aren't now at forty two years old. When I was in the league, she would ask me for stuff,

asked me for this, asked me for that. I ain't never sign a ship for her and still having our want because I only can speak for what I know and what I've experienced, and only things that's tough is I hate the fact that we in a time where I needed someone to encourage me more. She should own my dream. And then when I made it, now she want to partake in it. And I realized, and I go back in it. And I didn't realize I even had that wound. And you know, and God has helped

me deal with it. Is I realized and she showed me. She sold me short. She told me to stop daydreaming when at the time you're supposed to day dream, when you're a little kid, when your boy freshman, you get you you fleeing from your hut, your mom's husband, bad habits. That's that's all I got. And she took that away from me, hm m hm. And I hate the fact that too many adults we poop on young men and women, especially people of color, amongst our own selves, that we

don't we we sure change ourselves to day dream. And so I'm telling I'm telling you, you know, till the day I died, Man, I ain't gonna shut change myself no more. I'm not gonna tell myself stop dreaming. Well, and I think that's the family heirloom and some of my family members, because of our circumstances, we may have done to each other m hm, unconsciously that what we've handed down generation and generation has said, oh you want to be this. Uh, that's too big of a that's

too big of a ask. We don't do that. I mean you asked about the heirlooms. I can't really tell you an heirloom. I know, physical, physical wise, we don't have some Some families have Bible, some families have things they've passed down. I don't have none of that. For me, UM and my wife, what's big for us is breaking

generational curses. And that ain't answering your questions, but for but, but but for me, it is UM being able to pass my pass on to my kids, financial literacy, giving them UM a nest egg, being able to the generational trauma and the hurt and all these things that I hear you talking about that you experienced and and now you're able to UM almost look back and deconstruct what it is and where it came from. That kind of stuff that is very president of my family. And now, UM,

you know you you've shared some stuff. I haven't sewn this podcast before, but I lost my dad a few weeks back, and even in that, what's happened is I'm able to look back the same way I'm talking in with that is be able to look back and be able to deconstruct not only his life and his impact on my life, but how it's affected my life. And all that does is really reinforced what I believe. Um I'm called to do, and I know I speak for my wife when she says the same thing is is

breaking curses. So that's what I can because that's literally what this time in life is, is that generation after generation after generation of hurt, generation after generation after generation of pain, generation after generation after generation of let down, a poverty, or any of these other things that do tend to play not just not just families of color, but a lot of families. So that so that tells

me my fair layerylan, my family heirloom. Until mine was a little bit of the negative thinking I was gonna say, mine's peace. That's what your family I want to know. That's what I'm not want to that's I'm going to

pass along people that beats my coin collection. So no, just sit you know, Gerard and I had the luxury of you know, knowing you pretty well and knowing where you came from and knowing about your life and every once in a while I get a little nugget or a little kernel of something like, ah, I didn't know that, but now it makes sense because when I see you interact with the public and even in private, the way you treat people, and even you know, I go back to,

you know, a banner that we may have talked about about some of these rising upcoming athletes. You were still positive to them, even though you did it in your own way. You didn't poop on their dream that they were going to be an athlete or they were gonna play for University of wherever. So you've taken what you said and you continue to live and it's not just a piece of verbiage from your history. And then folks that know you know what drives you like you know

you were that dude. You know, look at all the athletes we've had. You know, Steve's a dog. Well, there's things in your upbringing that made you that person today. So I know it sucks, and I know it it stung you in a little bit. But the the glad, the glass half full, pieces um that drive and could partially could have been. Man, I'm gonna prove you wrong. Whether it was a coach, whether it was your aunt

whomever it was. Um. So, yeah, that's horrible and that sucks, but what it's done for you that like, man, I don't want to do that, Like I don't want to hurt these people or hurt these youngsters. So, UM, I appreciate that story. And then you know, g looking at you. You know from the story you want to do is maybe you didn't have any family heirlooms, but you want to create them with your family growing up. Um. Mine is a material item. There's a couple of material items.

Is a to this day, I still have this call it's like a Rambo knife. It's not a coin collection. I was trying to lighten the move a little bit, but yeah, thank you. Uh, it's this Rambo knife that my dad had. My dad was in the Marine Corps for many, many years, um, and he had this knife that when he was a young adult and he went in at sixteen years old. His mom actually signed him over and said, here you go, he's yours now. So my dad was in the military for many, many years

and and for whatever reason, he kept this knife. So you know, I'm I'll be fifty years old next month, so I've had that knife as long as I can remember, and we take it camp in and we you know, I do tasks with it. But even when I just go cut a string, like I envisioned in my mind, Like, man, you know, Papa Joe was what we call my dad, Like what did he do with this? Some things we might not want to know, but I think, you know, the things that he did allows us and others to

do what we do today, you know. So I'm very loyal to military. Even my wife. You know, we have her father who's passed away. You know, we have his hat. So you know, our family's very military driven. And you know, it's funny my daughter's sitting in the studio right now, Eva and like we want to pass it on to her because she knows the type of individuals they are. But like, any time I get that knife in my hand, it's a piece of my father. Any Time we look at that hat that that my wife Kim has, it's

like that's a piece of her father. So those are heirlooms that aren't monetary value things, um, but they symbolize something to us. So that's kind of when you set heirlooms. That's the first thing that I thought about, like, man, I got that knife, and you know Kim has that hat. So it's it's just really cool to think what each heirloom means to each family and what they want to do with it. So you know, it's that's really neat.

So you know both of you all, Like I said, I learned something every every time we talk something new about you guys, So it brings to me. Usually we do it at then, but it's the beginning when a man's willing and eager God will join in. H Yeah. So I've been willing to eager to reshape chain age my perspective and thinking, and then doing that, God joined in and showed me I gotta let some things go. So today letting go. What my aunt said, I let it go. I'm exposed myself, but you're still inside in

that jersey, are you? Nope? Who? We got first segment it's called get ice Stuck. It's our version of icebreakers. All right? Are you ready? Maybe? Okay, buckle, it's on you. So if you fail, it's your faults nutshell? All right? What type of sugar do you prefer? Brown sugar? Oh? White sugar? Brown sugar always brown, always? But you know you can turn white sugar into brown sugar sort of camel that. I know some dudes and their name is Pooky Richard and a whole bunch of the names that

have turned some white sugar some brown sugar. Well, I think white sugars want to be brown sugar. The truth is like, brown sugar can't be turned into white sugar. So there's the authenticity. Our talent acquisition manager is not liking this conversation. You're trying to wrap us up. Nope, no can do brown sugar baby, right, all right? So one, you being a bona fide cook, one thing your family loves for you to make, but realistically you're like, do

I really have to do that again? Oh m? She said, like, oh, that's several things. It's a couple of things. I mean, truthfully, I see my mom so rarely that I'm always very happy to do whatever she wants me to do. Normally, it's like a giant pile of like celery and onions and carrots for Thanksgiving, Like she has given up doing the prep. She doesn't let me cook anything. It's all like Linda's Thanksgiving. But I am the hands that do all the chopping She's like, you can just get it

done a whole lot faster. So I just I come into my mother's house seeing like mounds of produce that she needs me to break down for her, which I truly do not mind doing. Flex. That's all you're doing is prepping exactly. She wants me nowhere near the actual preparation of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving us like mother specific. Right, it's regional, it's mother's specific. I don't want my Thanksgiving when I

go to her house. I want her Thanksgiving's like taking him a quarterback and putting them in right tackle kind of Yeah, team sucks. Dan, you know what I mean. I've heard and read you're spice junkie. I am what should go to spice? I have a jar of Vietnamese chili in my fridge at all times. It changes because I get I'm also I get very bored very quickly. But right now it's um. This jar of Vietnamese it's literally just red Ti chili that's been chopped up with

a little bit of vinegar, salt, and sugar. What kind of sugar? Steve is furiously taking palm sugar? Actually, so it's not it's um. It's from it's from palm trees, so sugar from palm trees. We have a beat sugar at the house. Look at that. When I tell you I like to cook, girl, you beat sugar. What do you use it for you? It's like you on an episode of Chopped right now? Yeah, well we use it. I use it as a sugar suct to when I do the homemade pizza you pass? Does it turn your

dough color like your dough? It's actually the bet sugar white. What does the chef think about infotshers like cookwear and knives. First of all, I don't like my counters in my kitchen jumped up with a lot of stuff. I like

them clean. I always feel like in cooking, whether it's professionally or at home, I feel like your head feels like your workstation looks like if stuff is just like everywhere and there's no room to work and it doesn't feel clean, you just feel really, you know, disorganized and not focus in your head. So I don't like a lot of stuff on my counters. I disagree with that. You don't like the I like the engages. Sometimes I disagree. I disagree with the splattering of papers because that's my

office at my office home and get done. If I'm cooking, then it's a mess all over the place. I think it's just I didn't used to be that way before I started cooking professionally, and now cooking professionally becomes and look, I'm literally sitting at a desk with my assistant and I am, there's ship everywhere. She's looking at me like I'm the second coming of the devil. But there's stuff everywhere right now. So I am. You know, I'm not dying on the hill of being the most organized person,

but when I cook, I do need things organized. So back to the gadgets. Um, you guys are dudes, and dudes love gadgets like it's proven, it's science. It's just in you, guys, it's in your d n A. Um, I have been so I am. I'm totally they're profiled right there, Absolutely no gadget guy. Yeah, yeah, it was correct with it. I just delayed reaction like I was a baby hand on the stove. It's hot. I appreciate

you standing up for your gender not being profiled. I will say there are obvious exceptions, but more than generally, you guys really like gadgets, So anyway, you're not disproving my point. Um there. I'm so I've been so anti gadget for so long that really coming around to them has been uh Like my first rice cooker I bought a couple of years ago, and I was like, wow, this we can like cook perfect rice and not just said it and walk away like that was my Like

my head exploded. I've been cooking for twenty years, so I'm not generally a big gadget person. I will say I got my butt caught in a competition, and I can't go super far into this because it's about to air. Um where there was a very common gadget that I had to use, and I really was lost, Like everyone has one right now? Can we like say it? Because I'm picking up what you're putting down. It's you know, my favorite chicken is made this way? M Yeah, yeah, ye lost. I did not use it. I had to

be I it was to listen. I'll put everything in the air for her. I've heard. I'm very close to get anyone. Does your does your house smell like fried food? That's what I want to Nope, No, we're black, and if it did, I wouldn't know. We may tell you I worked as a private chef once and for a very well known black family, and I'm made the stake of frying chicken inside and oh I it was. I nearly lost my job. You can let me tell you something. What you can do for black folks. You cannot mess

up no chicken. I didn't screw up the chicken. And the house smelled like chicken. They were like outside, get that outside. Yeah, we have to take a break and the morning thing, we gotta pay some bails checks. I love cut to It and I love it even more when you download us and subscribe, and you can follow us on social media too, Smithie where where at cut to It? On Instagram? What about Twitter? At cut to It? Facebook? Cut to It feature in Steve Smith Sr? What about online?

And you can follow Louis at cut to It podcast dot com where you can buy merch and you can subscribe to this wherever you listen to podcasts. I got all my answers questions. Um, yeah, I got all my questions answered. That's what I'm here for. A brother, cut to a podcast dot com? Where are you from and the place you call your hometown? Um, it's one of the hardest questions, we're gonn answer. Hometown is Boston. I've been here on and off for the last twenty years.

It's where It's what I absolutely considers home. Um, where I'm from. His harder. I grew up in a military family, so I was born in Germany. It was Germany, Texas, Oklahoma, California, Greece, and then that rotation all over again. UM, so everywhere, nowhere but Boston's home. Growing up as a milit verry kid, you moved so many times. Yeah, if you can go back in time, is there one place that you if you had to choice, you would have chosen to stay there and grow up. Oh what a good question. No

one's ever asked me that, thank you. Um, different places for different things, I'll be honest. So what tell us girl, Greece? Um. And just this year it was so lovely, um, living there with such an immersive experience. UM. Culinarily, even before I knew what culinarily even meant. UM, I understood what hospitality and being really taken care of unders like meant for the first time. UM. And that's just culturally like,

that's what the Greeks are. UM. And it was just the most stunning place physically, um for me specifically, UM, I mean I was lived in California for a very long time. I moved from the South from Oklahoma to California kind of somewhere right before high school. And had I not done that, I think it would have taken me a very but much. It would have taken me a lot more time to figure out who I am in terms of me as a person, um, like my own my sexuality, like all of the things that I

ultimately know as myself as a whole. It would have taken a lot longer to get there because we were really ensconced in like deep deep Southern sort of Bible. Not particularly and this is not saying religion is bad at all, It was just very um. Our church was not the best place. Like there's a lot of Shenanigans that went on, So getting out of that was really good for me. So probably they're Greece or California, but

ultimately I left California on my own. Um. You know, it's all of those things are It's such a good question, and I think in terms of fantasy that the question would be Greece. But I'm so grateful for the moves that were made when they were made, and the choices that I I made in my life, I just continue to get what I needed along the way. So as lovely as the question is, I wouldn't change it. So what was Tiffany phasing like as a kid? Oh Jesus,

Um sounds like precocious for sure. Um, singularly driven, Like if there was something that I wanted to do, I just it was a hundred miles an hour towards that thing until I was good at it or I stopped. So like I was an All American cheerleader. Um, I

just you know, just NonStop. And then at some point in high school that sort of stopped and I started to I was in a kind of weird program in high school, and I had a really influential teacher in my life, and I started to learn how to really think critically and understand you know, the arts and literature and the world around me and what things meant politically, and um, understanding how does see the lack of justice inequality in the world. And that began to kind of

really change my life. Um. And I also became like a serious troublemaker. Um. Just the worst jokes, practical jokes, ormaker. Oh yeah, like so this is a pretty good example. Um I was. I stopped cheerleading because I just, um, it wasn't a particularly healthy environment that there was a year. It was my soft junior year, um, and I was an All American. I wasn't allowed to be on varsity. The varsity cheerleaders came to us at the end of the year and said, Hey, we're gonna have a banquet.

You guys are gonna cook for us, set it up, clean up, plan, all the things. And the team looked at me because I was allowed mouth and they were ready for me to be like absolutely not. And I just said, yeah, you guys have worked really hard, let's do it. So I made the world's largest batch of ex Lax brownies for but I didn't know. But I didn't know is that there was faculty and teachers there.

Oh yeah, yeah, I didn't know they were coming. So like a Comedy Central movie, running down for spill all that, spill it all. Well, Um, who got sick? Obviously, Um, there was someone who had some sort of like vowel issue anyway, and so it's like hauled into the principal's office and the vice principal's office, and I, you know, I was told that I was attempted murder and I tried to kill this woman. I mean they didn't go, yeah, to try and store. Well, I wasn't confessing to the crime,

so they were trying to give me. They trying to treat her like a black person, that's what I call. So they set me outside of the office and let me see every one of the cheerleaders walking one by one, and they questioned everyone. Then you got to interrogate it. Yep. So and I watched that. I knew who snitched. I knew I still to this day know who snitched. Well, no, but yes, it was a care It was a Karen she has Yeah, I'm not gonna she knows almost dear.

She looked. She said, it's still an ex Brianie with her name on it. Oh, yes, there is. Let her Let her walk in one of my restaurants. No, no, no, no, I would never do that in my restaurants, into her house slowly. Yeah, she see her its own site. Bet there, run it, run it. So with all that, what was the most challenging moment you overcame growing up? There was

a lot of things I think. Um, I really think it was just a culmination of constantly moving right and like you're the new kid, and it's fun for a very long time, and then all of a sudden you're not. Um, you know, when people are more concerned about what people think of them. And it's high school and everyone's clicked out and in their little safe spaces and there are groups of people that feel good. So that was hard, um,

which is it was also good for me. I learned how to really get outside of myself and and find a way to allow people to let me in, to try and be charming and funny and too essentially sell myself as as someone who could be a good friend and who could be someone that you wanted to be around. So I'm less good at that now as an adult, but um, I was pretty good at it when I was growing up. So I mean that was tough. My parents divorced. That was tough. But that's all like just

normal stuff that I think happens in the life of kids. Now, um, you know, early adulthood. Top Chef was really hard, Like the first season of Top Chef was just really really hard. So you're a chef now and world we're now competitive all of that stuff, But what did you for myself? Being an athlete, I always wanted to play football, always want to play sports. And it sounds like for you that was not initially what you inspire to be. So grown up, what did you want to be? What did

you what did you desire to be? I wanted to be a lawyer. Yeah, I wanted to be a lawyer. The thought of cooking was not ever even a twinkle in my eye, UM until much later. I had worked in restaurant since I was fourteen, and just really from making milkshakes to um washing dishes, to host a buser server bartender. UM. But I'd never really thought about going

into the kitchen. It never really interested me until it did so I, UM, Yeah, I went to college and I was a competitive debater and I wanted to be an atte me. What was it about being attorney that interest you? And then it was it before after you almost got put beyond the wall? It was probably during and after. UM. I don't think one inspired the other.

For me, it was a sense of UM finding justice in the world and being able to advocate for people who did not necessarily have UM adequate representation and advocacy. That was, um, as you know, appropriator excellent, as they should. You're going to college, you decide that you know, maybe you want to possibly look at being a lawyer, criminal justice justice. Yeah, you dropped out of college, you went

to work as a bartender. Take us through that process. Well, Um, I never stopped working in restaurants even when I was in college. It was always the way I was paying for things. Um, for my life. I didn't have a come from a family that was able to pay for college or float me in any way or support me. Um. They loved me like crazy, but we didn't have any money. So um, anything that any decisions I made or things I wanted, including my education, was up to me. So

I always worked in restaurants. Um. I was in school, and I was starting to enjoy school less and less. Um. There was a lack of creativity in in school. That and I'm also just not I'm not someone who sits still very well. Um, I'm just kind of a generally like busy anti physically. Like physically, I'm like an anti person. Um. So school didn't fit that well for me. I loved being challenged intellectually, but it was really just a lot

about sitting still that I hated. So UM, I started just spending more time at the restaurant and making more money, and UM, I started dating my first girlfriend. And UM, I always thought I would go back to school, that I was just gonna, like take a break. Parents don't let your kids take break from school. They'll never go back. Um, that's not true. People do. So I took a break and my first real relationship ended, and I was pretty gutted.

And my brother, I was living in Boston and he was um at Emerson and he said, you know, you can always come live with me, and I was like, no, I'm fine. And then a couple of weeks later, I packed a couple of Duffel bags and left to Boston and started working. I opened a Ritz Carlton here, like a new hotel, and I was really in over my head. September eleven happened, and I was just really unhappy and

I didn't know what was out there. I knew that I was sort of managing a restaurant in a bar was more than I wanted to do at the time. So I just kind of, you know, it was new to the city, and I wanted to take time in Bartend and just hang out and get to know the city. And that did not make itself available to me. So I ended up taking a job as like a busser. Um. I remember the GM saying, really, do you want this job? Like you've been managing restaurants, and I was like, no,

just whatever. I just wanted to be at this specific restaurant and really didn't even know why. Um. And I ended up kind of from buster to runner to the inside expeditor, which is a really interesting position. It's the liaison between the kitchen and the dining room. It's the person that kind of calls the shots, tells the kitchen when to cook things, when to fire things, sends things

out to tables. And I ended up doing that and really watching the kitchen and not knowing what I was even asking asked if I could learn a station, and you know, got laughed at. It was a professional kitchen, Like there was a bunch of like young guys running around that were straight out of like the CIA and New England Culinary School and like really great schools, and um, you know, I didn't know how to chop an onion. So after like lots of begging and making fun of

me laughing at me. My chef allowed me to start on a station, and I know that he thought that I would quit. Um, and I wanted to. I was really really terrible at it, like like really like just laughable, like the basic things that I just had no idea. Uh um. And again like that sort of competitive, maniacally focused person comes out of me where I either get good or I get gone. And um, it took me a while to get good. It took me probably a couple of years. Um. But it was this thing that

I found myself no pun intended. It was hungry for it all the time. It was endlessly fascinating, It was physical, it was creative. Um, whatever level I could reach, there was always one more to go, right, Like there was no like I've gotten to this place and I know everything. Like the more I knew, the more I understood, how much more there is to know. And I still feel

that way about it. Let's talk cooking. Yeah, let's do it, okay, she smiled to Yeah, So you said something and I'm going to repeat some things and I see some I see some a pattern here. We're talking about you're talking how you you know when Thanksgiving and your mom with the poultry and and and just all the little side items. And you said, you know, you like to have your station when you're cooking. Yep, a certain way. And you said, but you you're either you have you don't like to

stay still. You always have to moving. So you're a d A D D shish And she's also seems like a little bit of um O C d ish and having everything she likes to be organized and everything in order. The diagnosis is real. We don't just break down football. Yeah that's clear, But let me lay down on this couch quick, go ahead, listen. I'm I'm an older cat in in this in this game, so my rates about three fifty and our if you're effective, it's a bargain. So let's go. You're laying on a West All couch

is expensive. I know, right, Um, but you said some things I just picked up. So you add all of those issues that you are, and you add the competitiveness. You add military moving around, always having to prove your point, always not settling for what someone else puts on you, and like you said, always hungry. So when you decided and you woke up that day, you said, you know what, I'm going to put myself out there. I know, I don't know anything about station cooking, prepping, you know what

it looks like. And I'm gonna if I fail. I failed, But I'm a felt on my terms. What really happened when you woke up that day and you said, you know what, damn, I'm cooking today. I'm going to attempt to change my career in the food industry and to the point of where I like to call them the nuts and bolts, the wheels of the engine that you know, a lot of times people want to be the engine or I want to be the headlights. But you can have great spark plugs, you can have a full tank

of gas. But if those love nuts and those wheels ain't on a car, what car are you going? What are you driving? You ain't going nowhere? Never seen a calm bricks stroll down the street? Now, yeah, um, they were. I can give you two very specific instances. Um, and you know you you learned to crawl before you walk, walk before you run, run free jump, So I the learning to crawl was tough. It was really um In some ways, it was really humiliating because kitchens are inherently competitive.

I was one a very few I was want of. I can tell you three women in the kitchen of the staff of probably like thirty. UM. And I didn't even really think about that at the time. I didn't wasn't considering like the gender and melance. UM. I was just trying to stay alive. I didn't know what I was doing. I had all these guys running around me that were like not only you know, they were competitive, and they were in hindsight insecure. I didn't know that

at the time. And when people are insecure, they behaved poorly towards each other and they put each other down to try and find some sort of you know, bs packing status. So UM, it was really tough. And I was constantly a target of people's of some people's um you know iron and um bad behavior and and in some ways I let that drive me as much as it pissed me off. So I remember very specifically. You know, it wasn't like I just started cooking and like I

had found this glove that fit perfectly. It wasn't like a Cinderella story. I just I just combined Cinderella and O J there. I don't know how it happened. UM, I said, glove that fit, and then I said Cinderella story. I'm not sure where that came from, so so um, but I was like, like what she did? I did? Yeah, I almost quit, almost equitted myself. So um. There was a Saturday night that I just you know, it wasn't good at it and I would need help from like

my chef. And I was also working a really busy station. I had a lot of pickups on my station. It was monster and um my chef or so chefs would have to help me out every night and bail me out of the weeds and help me get my orders out. And I remember there was a Saturday night I came in like I was always coming in early, but I came in super early, rearranged my station. I took um tables and blocked myself in on my station where I

could not leave. So I had like all of what we call mes and plus, like all the things that are prepped and ready to go to be able to cook your food when you come to the restaurant. I had stacks of mes and plaus. There's no way I was running out of anything. I was. I had just trouble shot for everything that had happened to me up to that point that was like an impetus to me succeeding.

And that night just something clicked and I remember thinking like, no matter what, I'm not going down and I'm not going to need help. And you know it was it was just that mental step of saying, I'm gonna do this. And there was no like skill set that I woke up that day with that I didn't have the day before. It was just the sheer will of not failing. I think it's about that time. Just take a little breather, good, good, getting down to do it good. Hey Gerard, why did

you get that T shirt? You mean, oh yes, I got it from cut to a podcast dot com where we have exclusive merchandise shout out to our guys at seven oh four shot. But yeah, you can go on, buy you a T shirt, subscribe to us wherever you listen to podcasts. So then, when did you realize that cooking could be a career. I was very attracted to the idea of what I was watching around me as I was cooking. Um, I knew that I wouldn't have like a normal nine to five or kind of career.

I knew I wouldn't have a normal life. I just sort of inherently knew that. Um. I was attracted to the idea that I could be creative and work with my hands in a really intelligent way that could make people happy, and I could also work. And it's very much like being on a sports team, like working a team. UM so it's it's a solo effort and it's also

in a team all at the same time. So, UM, I think about two years into cooking, I looked up and thought, okay, like this, this is really what I want to do, um I mean, and I was obsessed with it, Like I would go home. This is before I mean, it's probably like a O L dial up, right. I did not have a compare at home and have

the money. So I would go home at night and mostly people would go out drinking, and I would just kept a notebook on me, and every term that I heard that I didn't know, I would write down because I didn't I was shamed into not asking, you know. I'd ask what this meant, and people be like me, I don't know. So I stopped asking and started writing things down. And so I bought Larusku Astronomy, like the clearance version of it at my local bookstore, and I would go home at night and I would just open

it up and start reading. One word after another would lead to something else. And so I was studying like just fastidiously during that time. And you know, that was the idea that like the more I knew, the more there was to know, and um, yeah, the world just opened itself up to me. And then it really did

fit like a glove. It became my life and started to give me all these things that I enjoyed in my life, like satisfaction of others and um, creativity and being able to There's something about cooking as a profession, especially when you're aligned hook you leave feeling either completely defeated or completely accomplished like you have there's not a lot of middle ground. You don't leave going like that service was kind of okay, Like you have a great service,

or you have one that's really painful. And the idea of like stringing together multiple days and months of like having great services became an addiction and an obsession. And then you know, as I was able to do that, like working harder and harder stations, I got to a point where like I just you couldn't weed me like you couldn't you could put me anywhere and let me learn the station for a week or whatever it might be, and there just was no You could not weed me.

You couldn't put me in the weeds. And that was like one of the most powerful feelings I've ever felt in my life. Like I remember working on a station in Nantucket. It was the fish station. The guy next to me, as foot as he was, couldn't cook on the hot app station. I had the entree pickups and I was helping him with three of the app pickups, and you know, as frustrating as it was, I still could not be weeded. And I remember that that feeling

was so deeply satisfying. That does mean I knew everything. That meant like I had figured out how to line my station up and how to work and cook things in a way that was like strategic and organized and fast. Obviously your work life, it's cooking, but you can't necessarily check out when you get home, or can you do? You know, how do how do you take off the chef how do you take off the chef hat? You know? Or do you just like you know what I'm cooking?

All day when I get home microwave. I mean, there's there's a lot of hot dogs in my life. Um, I I'm not gonna lie a lot of hot dogs. Um, hold on, hold mustard in it. Hold on, asshall man, did you just say hot dogs in your life? Because I eat like a freaking child. It's awful. Like, oh, I've been needing to change my eating habits for years. You have, and you eat? You eat hot dogs and chicken Nuggetscaroni cheese. You got the brother, yes, yes, um. And not only that, I'll put them in the mirk

wave until they get triveled and blow up. Yeah. Um, I know, I know. It's the worst. I know. Stop. Are you serious? Yeah? Yeah, No. I'm really grateful when people want to cook for me, and it happens rarely because because I am a chef. Yeah, I don't want to cook for you. It's like it's a problem. My girlfriend isn't is like one of the best pastry chefs in the country. Like, girl, girlfriend, I'm talking about your ass. I don't want to cook for a world. You're gonna

red line my ships to watch me play? Who wants to watch his daughter? Me? Is six? My son do six play catch when the football players right in the front porch. In fairness, but you enjoy playing catch with your daughter, of course you do. It's a totally different thing. But it doesn't have to be performative. I think it's what we're saying. Do I performatively cook for myself? No?

I don't. Nope, I'll do like project cooking, especially cooking like during the pandemic, like me, because because that's like, yeah, and sugar packets, syrups and sugar packets, butter and sugar packets. That's what it used to be. Um. Project cooking is like multi step, multi day cooking, right Like if I'm making CARNI test, it's like four or five days. Um, if I'm making bread or doing something another slight flex just I am not a good baker. I'll say that

I'm a really terrible baby. Actually does have a weakness I do. Oh god, I can't think it's true. It's too much brown sugar. Too much brown sugar. Yeah, I don't really, Um, unless I've like told myself that I'm going to eat healthy and that lasts for about three and a half days, and then I'll cook at home for myself. So with that being said, so is cooking

an escape for you? It can be. It exists into are different worlds, right, So, like cooking professionally is completely dialed in, focused under a clock to get it the best it could possibly be to our guests, the best way we possibly can cooking at home is music and a glass of wine. And you know, I still try to be as efficient as possible and not make a giant mess. But it's a different thing, Like it's you know, there are so many things that live under the same

umbrella that really are like very different things. So when I'm cooking at home and I am actually cooking at home, it's super enjoyable to me. I really, I still love it, um, I always will um. But it's just an entirely different vibe, totally different feeling from cooking at work. So then what is your escape? What's your meat time? Oh lord, um, you really think I would have found it over the

past year interview? Yeah, Um, when working out, Like, it's definitely meantime, Like I go to just a different place in my head where I'm able to um, kind of get to a point where I'm not thinking that much. Um, that's when I know, like, whatever it is class i'm taking or workout is not working. If I'm like in it and I'm super thinking about work, I know that it's not. I'm not ready to be Um. I spend a good amount of time in Cape cod like on the ocean. I go clamming. That's not a euphemism. I

literally dig for clams in the ocean. Um, how do you? How do you dig for go out? You you probably google me have it. I'm five nine with tattoos. Brothers. You should next time you're out, let me know, take you clamming. Um. So I'm gonna take you up on that. No, you should. It's the most fun. Okay, here's what what's my clothes? Because a Jordan's so I'm not I'm not literally in ripped jeans and Jordan's right now. So for the culture, here we go. Got my ones on, um solis,

but what's like what is clamming? Though? Like I don't I'm I'm being funny, but I absolutely have no idea how to claim it is? Um, We'll put you in like full waiters. So like you know, we call him wellies here like essentially like rain boots, like heavy duty rain boots and like some sort of waterproof pant or overall kind of thing um, and usually just a sweatshirt. And then depending on how cold it is, go out

at low tide. So essentially like the ocean has completely receded like four as far as the eye can see, like miles out in the Myrtle Beach. So I'm I know where I know the tide change in exactly. So go out about an hour before low tide and then into low tide. Um. I usually walk about a mile and a mile and a half out, um, and I have a rake with me and a bucket, and I just start digging. And if you find a couple together, you have to be a certain size. Um, you usually

find a pretty good patch. Then you just keep going and you keep digging until you have, like you know, the state a lotted amount of clams that you can have. Wow, say, I never know, Yeah, yeah, it's um. You know there's oysters out there, sometimes there's base gallops. So but it's just it's you and the ocean and it's you know, it just connects you. So for me, it's it connects me so deeply to like time and place where I am and how we get our food and um, it's

really and it's gorgeous. It's just beautiful to stand out there. Do you. So I'm just thinking, do you do any gardening or anything? I do? I have a garden um in. I do mostly things that I know that I will use. A ton of Gardening for me sort of started um and I've done some farming projects, but for personally, gardening

for me started with like the annoyance. I use a lot of herbs in my cooking, whether it's home or whether it's professional like, but when I'm home, I get really irritated at paying like two for a bunch of herbs. It just makes me crazy. So I grow a lot of herbs. I grow things that I know that I'm going to use. Tomatoes, herbs, chilies, those really are like the kind of the crux of the three things that I grow at home. My wife picked up gardening. She she does uh which I really wasn't into um on

the garden, but she got me hooked on. We do turkey, bacon, turkey um ham and she does rainbow chart. I love rainbow chart. So it's like a really healthy version of greens. Yeah, it's dynamic. So with all the demands from you running a restaurant, creating a museum, the concept managing people. How do you manage your mental health? It's a great question. Um. The exceedingly honest answer right now is I don't know that I'm doing it very well. Apprecial's been honest. Yeah,

I mean I go. I think there's this idea that mental health is like and managing it is a place, and I appreciate it is asking because it's such an important topic. I feel like the perception is managing mental health is like fixing a broken leg, right, like, um that once you go through all the work to do it and you get there, it's set. You're done, You're running and walking like you used to and it's fine. Um. That's not how mental health works at all. It's a

constant process. And um, you know, much like rehabbing something, if you stop that rehab process, whether it's not eating well or drinking too much, or sleeping not sleeping enough for um whatever, those those pillars are that keep you healthy. Um, it's very hard to maintain really positive and strong mental health. So we have seven restaurants. We have closed all but one of them. Um, to sort of hang on and

hibernate so we can open again. Um, and right now we are at the point where we're looking to reopen all of them, and you know, opening six restaurants at one time is daunting, and so that's you know, that's something that's on my mind a lot right now, and I don't know that, um until those things are done. Like, it's really important for me to find ways to eat healthy, work out, take care of myself, drink less, drink lots of water, like and doing those things along the way

will be helpful in this journey. It is my habit always to like hold my breath and try and swim underwater and not treat myself well until I feel like I can come up for air when it's all over. And you know, that's habits that I developed in my twenties and early thirties that no longer serve me in my forties. So, um, when I'm managing it well, I'm in therapy, I'm working out, I'm eating well, and I'm not drinking. Tiffany, we really appreciate your it's been you guys.

This really was fun. Thank youre really I really appreciate it. And watching a person you know, I know for myself watching people on TV. There can't you know you you flip the coin heads. They could be a dirt bag Tails, they could be a genuinely awesome person, and I would have to say, I gotta go with Tails. You've been a genuine awesome person and love watching what you do.

But now knowing the individual that I'm seeing John work, it just makes me want to just go back and go back and look at the shows and see now from what perspective you're coming from. So thank you for the opportunity of Oh my gosh, that was a hell of a compliment. You guys. This has been really really fun and interesting and the questions have been so so good, and you guys are really fun and easy to talk to and to thank you for that. We appreciate it. Thank you for your time. Um and UM, I'm on

East Coast and I love cooking. Um, I'm not a great cook, but I'm cooking well enough that I've tricked one beautiful woman into uh enjoying my cooking, and then uh, I brainwashed the other four my kids. So that's good enough. That's all you need, all I need. But I really appreciate it and appreciate your time, so you know, hopefully we'll run back into each other. But I would love that. I would love that. You are a unique person, you are well worth it, you are competent, and most of all,

your lovable. I'm Steve Smith Singor I'm Gerald Little John and this is cut to It. Cut to It with Steve Smith Senior. That Is Me is a production of Cut to It LLC, Baltol Creative Media, The Black Effect and I Heart Radio. For more podcast from I Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio Apple Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows from Cut to It. Executive producer Steve Smith Singor co hosts Gerard Little John, talent and booking manager Joe Fusci, Social media team Wesley

Robinson and John Show from Balto Creative Media. Cut to It is produced by Brian Baltaschevic and Meredith Carter, with production assistance by Alex Lebrec. Production Coordinator Taylor Robinson. Theme music by Alex Johnson, lyrics and vocals by Anthony Hamilton. You ain't heard about it, then we're about to let you know. It's all