This week, Miles Nolte has a cow at the video store and nearly drowns in front of Montana’s finest, we play Whiffle cricket with two kids who got stood up by their charter captain, lawyer up for the “Summer of the Snake,” and give a guide a terrible review because we couldn’t find the toilet.
This week, party boat captain Payton Gepp and C&R regular captain Eric Kerber do some flounder pounding with your favorite smallmouth lure, we meet a real life striper fishing Jesus, stiff the girls at the trampoline park on anchoring tips, and invest our life savings in the wrong color Gulp.
This week, native fish champion Tyler Winter plays Call of Duty at the Pig’s Eye sucker rodeo, we teach kids to shut up when they’re fighting a fish, offer a free frog to a largemouthed 15-year-old, blow our hand off right before mud minnow season, and take a stealth bomber jet ski out for fluke on the Fourth of July.
This week, “Gotham Fish Tales” director, Rob Maass, teaches us how to find “floaters” and urban false albies, we hack a bass apart after marinating it in mom’s bathtub, explain why toxic crabbing provides a bad workout, and use dangly earrings to score illegal tautog.
This week, Eddie Weber, Vinny Conwell, and Steve Cahn of High Octane Custom Baits blend human trafficking with snakehead pursuits, we give a first-cast bass the old bada-bing, remove articles of clothings while stalking a creek python, and sleep in a hospital recliner while being attacked by flies.
This week, C&R fan Mark Humphreys explains why you never wear embarrassing underwear on a sinking ship, we curl up in a bean bag and wait for our tuna nightmare to end, jump on a party boat full of Canadian soldiers, and cook out in the cigarette break area behind the Motel Super 8.
This week, Captain Frank Campbell wins the salmon derby and seizes the engine of his Kia, we catch a Quiet Riot show on our way to the jerking grounds, get drunk and buy the whole bar, and snap our belt after side swiping a trophy brown trout.
This week, “Bassmaster” editor James Hall marries your daughter while live-scoping muskies for the grill, we feed the dogs garlic worms and invest in lucky key chains, flyfish to smallmouths 50 feet down in 5-foot seas, and ask if we can expense the services of shady ladies in boat ramp parking lots.
This week, “Cheech” DeiCicchi of On The Water fails to save a friend from falling into a toxic bass pond, we hunt dock walleyes after copious cocktails, bet on basketball games and the power of 8-pound monofilament, and use otter emojis to sell old cans of WD-40.
Learn how to cap a day of fishing with angel’s dandruff and a dash of hot-n-spicy cigar ash.
This week, Nate P. and Erik S. of “Shorelunch with Nate P.” fight the gales of Jersey while frying shad jowls, we stick a striper right in the cat hole, toss a dying bird in the cheesesteak blitz of the century, and show our bare bottoms to an entire family of jet boat cowboys.
This week, “Uncle” Mark Wizeman teaches Joe’s son, Jamie, how to suppress turds when the dry fly bite is about to kick on, we throw lead at palominos from an elevated position, break rods in honor of Steve Irwin, and eat morels until our patience runs out.
Learn how to waste precious fishing time by harassing wildlife that may or may not go into turbo mode and kill you.
This Week, Jimmy Fee wiggles out of his Easter duds and into a pair of limited time bowfin, we watch our guide catch our dream fish while showing us how to use our lure, beg our wives to drive us to the hellgrammite stand, and pray there aren’t any boogers in our cold tomato pie.
This week, legendary chemist John Prochnow—the father of PowerBait—explains why fish don’t like the scent of barbecue chips, we determine that all dough bait colors are good but rainbow is the best, engineer trout that only feed on soft-plastic hot dogs, and skip leg day to catch more bass at the cocktail party.
This week, “Bass Talk Live” host Matt Pangrac narrowly escape his Air BnB after poking an unsanctioned stick in the noodling hole, we pine for the days of frosted tips and rods snapped over knees in pro bass fishing, get ditched by our partner and take home all the potpourri, and watch the crowd go wild over a 2.4-pound crappie.
This week, Jesse Stanislaw of Stride Baits gets a time-traveling Corey Feldman on a sick sheepshead bite, we shamefully cover our faces with a striper dripping with Italian dressing, catch a record weakfish after losing 200 jigheads, and take panoramic photos of a bowfin that ignored every lure we threw at it.
This week, flyfishing legend Conway Bowman gets lost in the fog and nearly winds up with a 600-pound mako in his lap, we smear neon sunblock on our snouts and chum up an Italian tuna charter, build a fuse box into our leader so we don’t lose that blue dog, and drag a dead fish down Main Street on a trailer.
This week, hardcore river rat Paul Cain fires up the “Shit Runner” for a Western Pennsylvania brown rodeo, we lose our favorite lucky hat while using live streamers, drown minnies at Scummy’s Windfall, and anchor ourselves at the bowling alley with wings and a prayer.
Just took a 6-ounce pyramid sinker to the frank and beans at 200 miles per hour? Here’s what to do next after vomiting and wishing you were dead.
This week, surf lure maker Dave Petry explains how awesome it felt when people complained about the price of something it took skill and many hours to create, we decide fish located via a 24-hour streaming camera don’t count, hoard plugs we’ll never use just to piss off our friends, and recognize an angler for his poor performance at Jiffy Lube.
This week, veteran guide Dieter Scheel packs 40 years of shad knowledge into one jar of pickled herring, we explain why color doesn’t matter if you’re the only car in the parking lot, probe the power plant for the most important pizza ever ordered, and crawl to an ambulance after giving kids cigarettes.
This week, Miles Nolte flyfishes from a speedboat while running from deadly wasps, we get the wind knocked out of us while flexing in front of a child, slide down a canyon face and land on trout perfection, and compare a classic lure to Denny’s pancakes.
This week, Captain Eric Kerber, “Iron” Bill Veldof, and Drew Watson supply the Buffalo wings and compelling reasons to move to Florida, we dangle a center pin in front of a snakehead-hating conservation officer, spend our winter watching people fight digital fish poorly, and give free candy to people who will never fish with us.
This week, U.K. taxidermist Josh Fisher pub casts a mackerel head and runs from the cops, we invoke the Magna Carta to stop vegan girls from killing crows, chase toothy predators with the four lures available in our country, and turn a bag of rotten chubs into something worthy of Buckingham Palace.
This week, renowned biologist Shan O’Gorman teaches us how to grow huge bass while dodging bullets, we give up on wild browns because we can’t afford the water bill, trespass our way to a $28 grand prize, and hopelessly clog up a bunch of fishy corn holes.
This week, Kevin Jarnigan of “Gun Talk” puts down his gat and picks up a poorly designed spinnerbait, we hook a gator on a Spook and barely make it through the inlet, lose $5,000 on a vintage trucker hat, and race for a Big Mac after slicing palm spikes out of our feet.
Bob “The Garbage Man” exposes “big fluorocarbon” and proposes regulations that would put more molten lead in the hands of American children.
This week, Orvis’s Tom Rosenbauer and Shawn Combs take a claw hammer to a redfish skull and get drunk with carp envy, we get high on boiled peanuts and try tie to striper flies, trade expensive gear for an inflatable doll, and figure out where Bob Ross hid all the bodies.
This week, Joe joins his best bud, Mark Wizeman, at deer camp to hunt for Queen Elsa and provide muzzleloader support, we don shark socks and chase brown trout with shovels, drain a bottle of bourbon while catching a walleye we don’t want, and rip a rainbow canoe apart with our bare hands.
