Cult Of Cryptids: Urban Legends _ Off the Rails

This is his head, Jeffrey's daughter, so Blunt, the Unibomber blowing up Waco, Texas, and Heaven's Gates and Aliens, modified med f mapes, Hitler, Pickys.

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Welcome you to the podcast Range Proof.

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Get straight Mexico. We're just super Why son just didn't get us related.

We're always in the shade about Grandma. Yeah, grandma did some off color ship.

All right, Welcome back everybody to the podcast. I am Tom kat Ak, Tom Thompson, the Reptilian.

This is something a little different.

Might we say, uh, we're gonna do this is kind of a fun special. I suggest people check out the YouTube. But we have a bunch of hooligans on for this episode. And as you can tell, the my quality is different because we are in a different location.

So should Jesus.

I guess it's so huge should introduce hims.

As everyone knows, I'm Brett, the man of many tastes and obviously man of many big cigar.

If you're not, if you're just listening to audio, this is the biggest cigar I have ever seen. I will post a video of him fucking getting it.

Sparks gotches long and like it looks like it looks like a really looks like a really straight turd. Mm hmmm straight. It's a I don't know, curly fries.

It's a massive It's probably one of the biggest situars I've ever seen anyone smoke. It's fucking crazy. So everyone check out Strange brew Dot podcast on Instagram and I'll definitely post that video. And then obviously you heard a familiar voice.

That's Bilbo. Bilbo fagins Bilbo.

I think you're gonna have fun today.

And then so I heard your third appearance, goody so destroyer.

I don't destroy anything. I don't know where this comes from.

Single anything you destroy ego.

Oh god, I was just I was like, that was just a little.

Bit by how have you been singlefore?

Ah? Holy moly, ke Okay, you didn't know. I don't hold it against.

So this is gonna be a bunch of Shenanigans.

I'm sure the idea is to be really fun and have all of us together to do something a little special. Obviously, if Aaron from Ireland could be here, that would be the full group. It would be pretty awesome. But uh, let's get into some urban legends, so the true fans will cover with to me and Billy of talking about urban legends a couple of times.

That was our very first episode.

Yeah, one of the very first episodes of every Day was Urban Legends. And now it's on the Patreon so you can get that ship. And for the guy that yelled at me about the richer Ramirez episode, uh, it's now on the Patreon, so you have to pay for it. But on the original episodes are on there. But there's also what the we did one episode called Urban Legends killer Clowns and skin Skin Shoes. I think, yeah, they made shoes at skin. That's ancestors probably know a lot

Ever heard of?

The Bible? The he will pee on you.

Yeah, but definitely know like the the don't step.

On the crack or you'll fall and break your back.

You have bloody mary. Did they ever scary about that?

I heard it?

Honestly, No, no, because I tried it one time and nothing happened. You know, you're saying that's what happened, wasn't it? Breaks y? Yeah, it was actually, but like.

The one day I looked at one day, I looked at my mom like she said that to me or something, and then I stepped on the crack. And like she was, like, that was rude, kid.

Brett will go to you next. What's the first urban legend you probably heard of?

M there's probably alligators in the sewers or problem, that's sure.

I'm not sure they say it wasn't true, but there is a lot of stories about people flushing their animals down the toilet.

Yeah, but that's a goldfish, mixed beers, boners. Come on down to the Ford Dealership. We get you, get up with the guarantee you to satisfy you and your gay lover a. I was gonna say, who needs a wife?

The only thing thicker than our cigars.

So it turns out, turn down the lights and get comfortable. Uncomfortable and let's begin our tour into the world's darkest urban legends. And let's start in Canada and Newfoundland and Labrador along in the welcoming community of hospitality in the region that is known for you can also find stories of the paranormal. One strange tale centers around Julie's Harbor, resettled community near Triton. If Birch butchered that, I don't care.

The same way.

And according to the tourism center.

The only way to get there is the only way is by water, snow or land.

The one way that you can get to this place. You can't drive, ohr walk, yes, well particular boat. The goblins will stop you if you're doing anything else.

According to the tourist Center.

Julius Harbor is named after a woman who drowned and was now known as Julia Harbor's Pond. So she drowned in some pond near the harbor.

Well, how she.

Died isn't known.

It is said that the spirit has been felt in the area since her death, further adding to the eerieness. The eeriness of the harbor and all that you'll find left is the community is a large graves yard full of headstones of entire families dating back to the eighteenth century. So visitors to the harbor have kind of bone chilling tales of hearing sounds of children's laughter. So don't give me your child's laugh.

Okay, that was crazy.

I don't know what sounds terrible?

Sound like a joker.

You hear a lot of children.

You think I have the ability to make this sound of a child? Do you have any idea? Fucking mainly.

So Jesus, So.

You gotta say like a word, ah crown, I just sound like an old lady.

There.

My impression abilities.

Aren't there tonight normally?

Are?

I know? I can still rock March Simpson.

That's Michael.

So, that's Michael Jackson on a broken record. It's been a long time as I've heard a child laugh. I can't even think.

I can't what a world we live in? So obviously despied out alone? You hear voices calling from the woods.

Do you know what?

Do you know what supposedly Bigfoot? Since we were talking about him earlier, you know you know what supposed to be the sound big Foot makes? No, you always think it's a terrictor? Yeah, that too off the woods. I want to tell we were sitting at a bar silking. That's funny is he makes like a whooping sound.

Off the mic like a monkey. He's like.

It's weird and also.

Yeah, so the idea is that he also like hits things off trees, So like, if you like hit a stick off a tree three times, he will mimic that same sound.

Oh I know what I'm doing next time I'm out for a nature walk play you're on mushrooms and I'm just gonna start whacking a tree and go.

And that's some other big foot enthusias is gonna out of the wood works, Like I.

Hear one on Oh God, help anybody that's nearby. I'm gonna run out with a bunch of hair tape.

It's fine.

It's a really free.

Head before you're gonna have to do that on breast property, like one late night.

I will hunt him.

If it bleeds, we can kill it.

I saw you're bled, so yeah, wait, if you knew it was me, you'd still meaning asshole.

I just gimp you a little bit, okay.

One story even tells of an apparition scene floating through the wall through the walls of the single house left in Julie's harbor.

Uh, would you brave, be brave?

But would you be brave enough to stay.

The night would Yeah, no, really, no, man, my poor fridge again though.

We went from don't step on the crack or you'll fall and break your back to yeh, his ghosts in his house, this house is clean.

I'm boring of a podcast. We just stayed on don't step on a crack though.

We just talked about that for an hour and a half.

No, no, it was I was gonna say, you want to know about the Bath game? The Bath game?

What I was gonna say, You're gonna say something towards me and some sort of of what I do in the bath.

His breath, that's not his hand on my hand though.

The Bath Game formerly known as druma Sam. How would you dremussan? I think it is a Japanese John. The Japanese have a lot of weird stuff going on. There a lot of.

Weird folklore and weird creatures.

There was a fan like they could say the same about us.

Probably there's a fan that wanted us to do an episode about there's a this but whole creature. There's just there's there's a Japanese creature that has like.

A butthole face. Wow. Yeah, like and this is like like something that was the guise of a human face.

It looks like this gnarly ass like weird resident evil character.

The Japanese are obsessed with butholes.

Yeah, they cleanse. I would love a bod day.

Sorry, I would love that's French.

Day, but.

Do it in but it's not. It's French.

It's gotta be French, French twisted.

We're just talking about using people are fresh like.

Time.

So this let's talk about this game.

It's an old game, summoning a ghost from a bathtub that follows you all day the lighter So we're gonna get in the whole practices of how to do this. But so it's an old game, right you know you're When you're playing durham Son, you can can result.

Bad things happen you, even death.

Starting the game, before you go to bed, take off all your clothes, enter the bathtub, fill up the tub, and turn out the lights. Going sit in the middle of the bathtub while facing the faucet, slash tap, close your eyes and wash your hair. This is like fucking the grin.

It doesn't work that I do that every night. That's how I go to bed.

Yeah, but cries not involved.

Oh you can't cry it Okay, sorry, carry on, I'm not doing that.

As you wash your hair.

Bathroom.

As you wash your hair, you should repeat these words durham Us Sand, durham Us Sam, durham Sam fell down, dorms Sam fell down. Do not up repeating this until you finish washing your hair. Your eyes must remain shut. I dare any fucking listener to try to do this. As you wash your hair, you picture a Japanese woman standing in the bathtub cleaning your feet.

At that part was okay, this is getting personal.

No, just standing in the bathtub, she will slip and fall on a rusty tap, gouging her eye out.

Killing her Yes. Or do you get to actually watch that?

You get to envision it? Think about it?

No, you think like after the vision, she's there and then you open your eyes and then she does it.

Yeah, maybe you will.

You will hear the sound coming from behind you, or feel a movement in the bath Do not turn around or peak. Don't peak, don't don't peak. You you finally summon the ghost. You will feel her present as she presentence as she emerges out of the bathtub, asking out loudly.

Why didn't you fall into the bathtub.

That's why you supposed to ask that. There's a scream out loud at her.

Why did you fall into the bath Why did you follow? What are you doing?

The woman is a ghostly figure that will follow you all day. She wears tattered and stained white clothes with black hair. She only has one eye. Her left eye is wide open and bloodshot. Her right eye is missing, just leaving a bloody hollow socket. Okay, so then when you wake up, gone.

To get into the games the opening credits, we haven't even touched.

When he wakes up in the morning, the game will begin. When you wake up in the morning. You like that the game will begin? I didn't say, but I assume so, because maybe.

She's gonna soak in in the to What were you doing?

Yeah, it's weird.

Your day will begin.

Normal until you feel the presence of the one eyed woman glancing over your shoulder.

She's getting glance that well, when you turn around.

She will not be there.

She will get closer and closer as your day goes on.

Do not let her catch you.

If the one eyed Woman is getting too close, you sholt tom morare, which means stop to Italian, which then then run away fast. You scream this and then your fucking book it uh and then this will give you some distance between you and the woman. You must end the game before midnight, or she will keep stocking you until she appears in your dreams and kills you like Freddy.

So And in the game.

The end of the game, you must catch a glimpse of the one eyed woman and shout Kita, kita.

This is too many words, the words games. I cut you loose.

I guess it's crazy, Like one word in Japan is like fucking three words, four words. I cut you, I cut you loose, so cut you loose.

This is sorry a game, this is this is for a game. This is a game like people just do for fun. This is a child's Okay, you played bloody, don't.

Are you so desensitized from TikTok? Something more real.

And the only bloody right away from it, the only bloody marys is when he said that. I was like, I was like this period name Mary.

Did you earn your red wings? The tonight.

Hasn't done that, That's true, It's disgusting, smells like old pennies. Yeah, fucking crazy. So yeah, this game keeps going on you know, so you gotta gotta I will cut you loose while swinging your arms shopping motion, So you gotta be like Kita Qita, like like you're in a chopping motion to cut her loose.

How many children have died?

Have you ever seen that that clip of that white lady being like, I want to be Ninja and it's like.

Super super racial.

Chop shop.

And it's like obviously.

Blatantly like racist, and she's like maybe I am in Ninja now, and it's just like and when it turns the camera a bunch of Asian people watching this blonde white lady do this very racist satirical song.

This sounds sounds like it just sounds like that's what it sounds like, kind.

Of yeah, chop chop, So you chop chop, chop chop, and then the game will end and the one eyed woman won't follow you you anymore. So here's the rules.

Oh and there's rules. It's not just you die if you don't do it right, but there's also socke this bitch, Wait, what if she comes into your dream? Do you like have to satisfy or what's up? She kills you?

She like you can't course her towards something more penis.

And what if you're really really really good.

Looking, don't worry. I don't have that problem. Ye better say sorry. That was uncalled for.

Rule I like it.

Do you not open your eyes when the ghost first appears, as we and will know when a guy is coming.

Do not let one the one eyed woman, the one eyed woman.

Do not let the one eyed woman trip when you leave the bathtub.

I don't always say how that works. So she appears, you see her, she.

Follows you, and then you got to make sure that she doesn't fall out of the bathtub when you leave the basketub.

Sorry, we're all dying. That's a woman knows a man's coming. Yeah, her eyes roll back. They look like the mutant from Stranger Things. I never want to see my face.

Man, I was talking about when you's face, she needs to close her eyes.

She got to keep him shut.

You can't. There's a socket missing.

You come inside the socket.

He's like, I feel like that's disrespectful.

Somehow lost that brutal accident that from a frost from hitting a fos So do not and do not ever re enter the bathroom after you leave.

You can't ever go back. Shower twelve hours. Oh yeah, alright, so what happens to you?

You can't ship, you can't kill you holding that poop and that poop monster comes the butt whole monster you come.

We'll do an episode.

Jack is a monster. Oh you mean that guy. I thought you're saying.

This guy sent me a picture of what it looks like. It's just this weird nar you resident evil fut character.

Japan sounds like a terrible place.

Well, the age of concent is thirteen, That's what we were saying. It's sucking a bit strange. So do not drain the top until morning. There's your question. Don't drain the top until morning and she's gone. Do not let the one eye will then catch you. The game is very dang risk. If it can kill you when you get out of the bathtub. It's important to play with caution, very strange.

Play with caution is like, I don't know, like a fucking drinking game, not like a like you're eight years old and you might be summoning your death.

If anyone wants to do this and film themselves, I will send you the the the instructions. But you have to be a good looking woman with big boobs and you have.

To show us the goods, like, yeah, you're gonna get some trouble.

You want to go to do you want to go to India?

I can't go to India. It's not allowed there anymore.

I'm not allowed there anymore because you fucked an Indian woman.

No, because India has a band on Canadian citizens visiting.

That's right, yeah yeah yeah because what yeah for what? Because truehead? What do you mean ship that's going on? We'd let them in millions visit? We can't exchange. Okay, what's going on?

Okay?

So essentially what happened a seak guy was that was that became a Canadian.

He was full, he did the whole system, he went through it. He just and no, he was killed on Canadian soil. And apparently he did something that was like insanely disrespectful. And then who another uh, an Indian? Another guy that was that was Hindi. I guess, and I guess, like that's okay to do in India, but we condemned that here because that's called murder. And they're they're like no, and so they're like back and forth. India's like up yours to like all Canadians that want to visit with

Yeah, so where did the seeking the hind guy?

No idea, no idea?

Was it, Milton?

They could have been who does me? But yeah, as far as meeting my you know, girlfriend's parents, I'm like, that's out the windows, out the window.

So wow, that's insane. Yeah, ship, they're probably also pretty mad.

We're taking a lot of the people run correction, we're taking the cream in the crop.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

You're taking the ones that have money. Yeah, and then we're gonna boot them. Drive for the system.

Come here and you don't have the Canadian dreams if you come here as an immigrant like you're you're are top ship, like you've beat the system in your own fucking country and you like.

Future dictatorship, have fun.

Well one dictat for next. This want a nice little great people.

A lot of them are going back now.

Yeah, really there is a large amount of immigrants that are leaving because I can't afford to live in this fucking communist, fascistic, fucking country.

Indian taking back.

No problems jab then no very love. I love them. They're wonderful people.

They are nice. They're so nice to me. I know, it's very.

It's like nice, nice smiles friends. Pussy.

Does it tastes like curry?

Of course it does.

Questions.

So we're gonna go to uh to India. We go to dow Dow Hill Forest. Uh you should ask ask you a woman about this. Sometimes Dow Hill Forest d o w okay?

Well part of India, there's like twenty five.

In front of me.

Forests have been a great place of interest in fairy tales. You know, everyone loves a good fairy tale, you know, living in a free country, and for good reasons. Every moment, I know, we're trying trying, We're trying to cut out the political ship on the show, at least for some topics.

But this is kind of sitting at the ball. We're here to have fun.

I know.

No more government.

Legends, political everything you talking about any urban legends is not gay.

That's not right.

We know he's gay.

Cocaine downhill he so when is that too? So when he went to.

India, right, you know how he said that he's playing couldn't get back here.

But I am so out of tune with all this ship.

That's what happens you hang out and other people's I was like, I don't.

Know, Les.

There's a joke that I made way back in the day that I found him in skid row in Vancouver and cleaned him up on the podcast because he that he came from out west when he first came on the show.

That's how you told me how you guys became friends and rehab together.

Yeah, pretty much.

So rehab.

Is going I'm not happy and I'm not happy to be happy together.

Cooking this chicken is depressed.

And then we proceeded to fuck the chicken and then we're still cooking my surf. So, uh, it's not because we're recording this essentially a Thanksgiving weekend gravy. Think of us creamy gravy. So Trudeau's playing like he got stuck supposedly in India for a bit because he's playing at and like it was down in maintenance or something like that.

Where did you see this? Because we have the whole thing now that.

I have a VPN, so I actually get to access the news because I choose to pay twelve dollars and by to fucking access they the fucking Instagram.

They think I'm in the United Kingdom.

You don't know think I'm a fucking British even it's like Strange Brew podcast on my Instagram is located in the United Kingdom. I was like, turn that off. We're supposed to be Canadian. But so obviously forrests have been places of great interest. Well, the Strange.

Brew I'm sure changing.

I'm British, Okay, I got an all asked teeth and I don't do the bag of accent.

That's very good.

Forrests have been places of great interest in fairy tales for a good reason. Downhill Syndrome forest in in Churis Song, I don't know, Cured Song, India.

Articles with less difficult works to pronounce taken either. We're reading this for the found I was kidding.

Dow Hail Forest, we are kidding.

Everybody, calm down.

Dow Hill Forest in curR Song, India is a great example of that. It has confirmed tragedies given the paranormal and UH and the explanations back in the day. I think it's on the Patreon. If it not, it will be because it's taken off. The main show is Me and Billy did a We did a Haunted Forest episode and that was before you went out East. No, that's the one where you you fucking remember we had When we used to start recording this, it was like every Friday,

Recording and go to the bar.

We need to get drunk.

So many many tragedies happen in forests, like the suicide Force in Japan might be its own episode at some point, and many murders have happened in this forest because Cord and Brett. Indian people like the sword fight and they get into scuffles.

That's the one that YouTube video in.

Yeah, cooler toolt daggers.

That's a civilization.

Of like like, oh, you're talking about like.

Actual in the streets.

Sorry, no, no, they'll they'll delim each other and kill each other.

No.

I just thought we were just like bashing dicks around.

Wow, that's good.

That sounds fun. We didn't get to the next party.

Sword fight in the streets, that's like, I don't like you pull your dagger sounds that's not the same the same place.

I'm I'm sure they're sorifight there sor they have AK forty sevens. I'm sure they're SWORDI fighting them.

But those fucking they don't do it fancy style. Man, They're like tingting tinting. They have those like really long swords that like just sts to like fucking cut them in half. Whoever, whoever's the first to like get their arm down or the completely. So, yeah, there's all these weird stuff happening in this forest. Many murders have happened here, or some say the dead.

Still roam the forest.

A popular legend revolves around followed by a headless boy, and if you're not lucky, he will never stop.

Well that's shitty. I mean, he's just a groa.

This headless boy roams and follows you everywhere.

He can't see. He's got his chicken. He's like this.

It's like he feels the walls and stuff. So I'll get you a bench. That's why he always is at bay.

But they have I wonder, I wonder how they do that? Do you guys know, I'm assuming you out of anyone.

Do you know how a chicken like knows where it's going after the head gets stopped tough, it just kind of runs in circles. It doesn't I'll chase you. The only reason I know that because it chase my mom.

I have no idea.

I've never seen that.

It was just pure luck.

Run around for a little.

While and then yeah, it's because like it's the whole idea you were if you get guillotined, like your fucking head chopped off.

Uh.

They've recorded that the longest uh somebody head was was blinking for Uh. It's something something pretty crazy like twenty or thirty seconds or something like that. Might even two minutes. Actually it's something like so like where it's like enough where you're like, what the fuck, But it was like a fairly along time, Like guy would think a couple of seconds made, but it was like a couple of minutes.

Well, in theory, if you cut off a head and completely cauterize the neck, the.

Nerves and stuff would still be like, man, that's fucking oh no, because your heart needs the pump.

But I was thinking, I was like.

You can just live like that, like you can find it's had a heart to the cheek or something.

The blood through theory technically just a here, how does the.

Blood get oxygen.

From breathing?

And how do you breathe with what your mouth and your lungs.

Yeah, but you don't shove everything up here before you die, just.

Like the organs put them in the next something like a monkey a monkey's and then slither away.

Baby monkeys like to put their lungs in the phone.

You give them gills, give the gills right quick, and then you throw them in a bathtobe.

And how gills work, I don't know.

It might be. So were inventing our news science because apparently you can do that.

Starts O.

People follow the science we just did.

Now we can live with just a head guilt.

So if you find you're walking alone, they're onto something.

Man, you were.

Walking alone on death road, and here footsteps, pay attention to where they're coming from. If they're behind you, or they come from a direction that you can't see, go the other way. Don't look at that direction. Consider yourself lucky. But if you see the little boy walking towards you, and even catch a glimpse of the boy while walking away, he said to follow you the rest of your life.

You think about how weird ours are.

You chant a woman's name into a mirror and then she's supposed to be holding her aborted, fucking baby in her fucking arm or whatever.

Right.

I think the urban legends around here a hell of a lot less terrifying than the ones abroad.

You don't want to naked boy fucking with headless walking around terrible.

What's your favorite urban legend? I know, like, what's the first one? What's your favorite?

The hook one's fun?

You know, the idea of like, So this is like a really famous one is like a couple goes to like lover's lane, right.

And then they hear the.

The fucking scratch of the hook on the door and it's fucking creepy, right, and then they like and then they get out or whatever, and then there's like a hook hand and the guy's like harassing them and chasing them.

There's also the one of like.

And in this I think, same urban legend, the boyfriend goes to check and to see what's out there, and then the girlfriend starts hearing what like sounds like somebody's on the top of the car, and so so she's freaks out. She freaks out because she's hears more stuff, and then she actually gets in the driver's seas and drives away, but she doesn't realize that she is holding her boyfriend up as he's on top.

Of the car.

And as she leaves the crim the guy with the hook hand hung her boyfriend. And then so as she drives, there's your car away, he fucking hangs. Yeah, that's like part kind of another lore into that whole story, or the man in the back seat.

Have you ever seen an urban legend? The horror movie?

It's actually fairly good, Like it's fun for what it is, but they include all these different urban legends inside of it, like the idea of like there's a man in the behind in the in this woman's car, right, and then she in the movie leases how they portrayed it. She pulls up to a gas station, she gets gas, and then this like guy that has like he stutters and she's like creeked out by him. So she's like, can you pump my gas and get out of here? And

Like, there's side in the back of the car.

And then there's someone. The whole time she's listening on the radio, it's like turn around every now and then, and then there's someone in the back of the car to killer. And that's like a real urban legend, that's supposedly he's based on real stories.

What was your favorite when you set them off? Man the pole? What's your favorite flegend?

Already? The poodle in the microwave?

Toodle in the microwave. I don't know that one.

We have no internet out here, but there is an urban legend about this. This dog goes there, someone thinks somebody's in the house, and then their dog goes missing, and then they hear the microwave go off and their dogs are exploded them.

I don't like, they're all kind of ridiculous, aren't that point?

I passed the toilet paper test.

The toilet paper tube test. Let's be cleared, Do explain I did pass the toilet paper one.

Do explain the toilet paper tube test for the folks at home.

If you stick your thing in the toilet paper it's too big to fit.

You got a big one. I like, Now.

That's a cryptin.

It says technically Nelly Nelly because I call him.

Now something Nelly didn't die.

That is an urban legend.

I think my favorite's got to be the headless boy from the forest.

That's your favorite, I do like, just because you're fucked right, he's following you forever.

You know, like the bathtub game like your uncle played.

It wasn't my uncle. Babysitter wasn't a girl. I can't remember.

What is your favorite legend? The window go that's still a cryptid, but yeah it is. It's still still another legend. There's no evidence that you'll ever finish that cigar.

Shut get there. We got totally. I got an inch down. Yeah, so she said, so let's talk an inch down.

We're halfway there. Let's talk about the blacks.

What do you think the black ambulance sounded like, bitch, get out the way.

What's that family skit, family guy skit where it's like the gay ambulances, like, you know what?

France so fucking funny.

So this is I think some of these are from Reddit because it says I live in Romania and as a kid. The most common legend was that of the black ambulance that would steal kids and harvest their organs, and that kid's bodies were found days later abandoned in a field with some money for their funeral.

Now this does we made like a mill off. Here's I have true.

Stories about stuff taking place like that. This, especially in like European countries, is people getting gutted and their organs. The black market is like when we talk about the dark web, we'll get into some of that stuff, but like the real black market is stuff that actually exists, and they do want organs. They do kill people for the the most disturbing thing. You know, child trafficking is fucked up. But the idea they breed with this is

That will get money for it.

Same thing. Some of there's preferences. You know, you got hot dogs or you got pizza. What's the other fucking terms that Hillary Clinton likes to use. But the idea is like and that's why they they talk about pizza a lot. I think pizza is a girl under like twelve or something like that. So the disturbing shit, yeah, fucked up shit. I would love to talk about pizzagate one day. People think it's not real. I can guarantee that shit is fucking real.

Uh.

There is weird shit that goes on with child trafficking and shown gole missing all the time. But the idea there's there's women that probably forced into it, for sure, but the fact that there's women out there that get paid probably a good sum of money to have kids

So hope you enjoyed that.

Because the most common legend of the black ambulance that would steal kids for their organs, Yes, then you find their body days later.

Whatever.

In my town, our parents would never let us go to the cinema because there was a legend about a man who would put AID and AIDS in fact to need us on the seats. Is it this? This is definitely a Reddit one because this is the guy. That's where it ends.

We weren't allowed to.

Go the movies because my parents got to us. There was this weirdo and he just like left eating eating.

Parents were broken. Yeah, we can't go there. You know you're gonna get.

We can't go in there to see their price. Parents like fourteen from popcorn left down on security. You can't even bring your own ship.

So fucked.

So that's where it ends. But there is true stories about that. I'm sure if like, no, well, yeah, well they killed Easy that way?

We all know that he was gay. No, how did well?

The whole thing is how does his how does his wife not have AIDS? How do his kids not have AIDS? It's because they fucking stuck him with an aid's needle and then Shuge Knight bragged about it.

We talked about go back.

If everyone's hasn't heard, the Easy episode is actually fairly good. It's the whole idea that Suge Knight was like on a Jimmy Kimmel was like, you know how you get them kids nowadays? You don't use guns. You just fucking uh you just you know, sticking with a fucking needle full of aids. I'm gonna smoke some crack on this episode. I'm fucking Joe Biden.

It really looks like that. Yeah, it is weird. That's a good crack, bro, It's green crack.

I need one here. It was so hot.

I forgot about that. You hit the one here.

I love that fucking bute tane tasty in it.

It tastes like ash.

I mean know when you can upgrade to a man through that.

I just stopped smoking cigarettes and I'm trying to not do that.

The dog boy. The story is simple but yet terrifying.

Word around uh Arkansas.

You're smoking your car with your babies.

We had it.

That you had with your kind and the fans know this. And I told Brett this that we had a whole like year of like making fun of k I couldn't stop and bring it up. We did one episode about the Boggle Creek Monster. It's crazy that's it has like fucking six thousand views on YouTube, and it's just it's not even a video, it's an audio, and it's like, people love the Boggle Creek Monster, but man, we got some hate at the one guy.

Well yeah, that we told the story before.

But you know what.

My favorite part of it all this is and the one thing I realized is most people fucking love you talk ship.

You fucking bo It's funny because they are our biggest fans until so, so what happened.

We rid.

What happened was Billy joked about the Confederate flag and he said he was like, it's not hate, it's heritage. It's like saying wearing a swastika armband and being like.

It's not hate, it's heritage.

And then somebody was like, hey, I know black people that wrapped the Confederate flag.

And people don't know what did. They were very misimportant.

There's people that believe that they were right. There's always people in history that believe they were right right. There's people that believe fucking the Big Age was a good guy in the conspiracy world. So it's crazy that the people believe some of these propagandized bullshit.

Well I get it too, And like back to the thing with the Confederate flag in general is like, okay, like that was that was.

You can't just take all the good and just be like that was Democrats.

They wanted to keep slavery Republicans true wild.

That's trying to my seat. We stuck Billy in Ye. That's what happens when you're like.

Can my son will get a high seat, he can't reach the table.

And some more blue crayon.

Please to give me a tip of a dollar?

You care?

So the story is simple but terrifying.

Word around Arkansas was that part part werewolf. Part man was wanding around the streets of Quitman. Is the town's name, Billy is quit Man.

I love that.

But what I loved more is I got Brett watching my beer drinking and just giving me one.

So he's a good host. What do you have any left? This I have?

I have all of necessities of the world on the board, and I have to drive home.

Man was a female parties parties. Clearly, what do you think I'm drinking this early ship home? Man? For this?

I feel like it's mainly the what I'm drinking, But this ship, so, I mean, Dylan's fucking gin is.

So good man.

This is what I'm getting for the wedding to.

Drink ship like this, of those, it could be the biggest fucking headache. That's so it be worse every second of it.

I'm gonna get lighter drinks and I'm gonna go with this because I think you're right that I'm always right.

What am I read? Chelsea?

Chelsea went away and Billy is supposed to come record, and I just was like, I'm just gonna get wasted. So I just got drunk off of twisted teas, but like the canned ones, and all of a sudden, halfway through, I was just starting get drunk and I had the craziest hartburd. I feel like I was dying out of lay floor and I felt like like the devil was stab.

In my hunt.

Yeah, me and Aaron when we get out in the shop will drink like twelve of those each.

Jesus. They're lighter and they go down very easily. But like, yeah, you're absolutely right, sugar Roxy in the morning.

The truth is actually scarier.

All right, we're talking about this in this wandering the streets equipment because everyone in this town there was a quitter.

I don't know, I was trying to they all equipment Yeah, that sounds like a tough place.

We have no economy here, we're all welfare. The truth is actually scarier. In the nineteen fifties, there was a boy named uh Gerald Beatus. He was thought to torture straight animals. I hope he got Beatus by his dad.

Older.

He probably did it beats by his dad because he tortures animals.

Uh, what's the What's this.

Is supposed to be debunked, but I still think it holds weight. Is do you know the three traits of a serial killer three as a child to.

Animals? Is one got hit in the head, Yes, and then I don't know.

I just wants to do a pp oh yeah, bed wetter, yeah, badwater, got hit in the head.

I think that is the three this.

I feel like I fucking hang out with him too, That's true, So I think about this.

Probably I probably spend more time with him than you.

Listen if you're if.

You, if you listen, if your kid, if your kid is wet the bed, which normal kids do.

I'm sure I did too extensive agents, But listen. Listen.

Yeah to say age I was doing until I was like thirteen drivings. But listen, if you had to listen if you had your fucking listen, if you had your except smacking the table.

Microphone. That's too funny.

One thing that's actually gotta girl pregnant in the same year.

I don't know, listen, listen to this. Listen.

I've said this on show. I did have a wet dream about fucking Twain. I don't even find her attracted. And I listened.

I smell. I was like, I was old enough where I was drinking. Listen to this. I don't give a shll admit this ship.

I thought I pissed myself. I thought I was so drunk or something. I pissed myself and then I smelled that. I was like, that was like, come, that's that's not.

That's not I think you attracted dream about you.

Want to listen, listen.

I actually I had a wet dream with Chelsea also, and that that's the second I was. I thought we were also drinking, and I listen, it's because we were drinking and we were listening. We're spooning and my dick was like in her ass, not in it, but between the cheeks, right, and I was like hard all night. And then I think, and then that's why I woke up. I was like, I thought I pissed the bed again. I was like, did I pee myself in the night?

Listen to this.

There is a theory, all right, there's a theory. I heard this on fucking Project Camelots. It's much like Coast to coast and this is true. But the idea is that reptilians will cast images in your mind of celebrities and then when they they'll fuck you in a spiritual like a spiritual way, sometimes even physically, but they put a cast an image in your mind of you seeing something else and then they take advantage of you. Women had we've talked about in the Sexual Alien and Ghosts

NA, my sperm is in his face. I had a fun time what's the next one? So we're not done with we won't go You know what, Robbie Retillians wiped you too. Yeah, our words I have been ripped. I don't think I have either. I think I'm good. I think I think I know Whatillians are.

Like, we'll leave the Germans alone.

Then something happened. I kind of feel bad.

Probably alone, they've had their they've had their fill of being raped.

Probably they've been enough service.

There is a read that the Big Age did have agreements with the Gray Aliens. He's like, yes, keep me on all that cocaine, that all those drugs. Have you ever anyone ever seen the video of him freaking out

They know this.

The Nazis were so like, there's a everyone should look this up. It's hilarious.

And he's like fucking freaking out with a little boy like just that can't sit still. It's frightening. Yeah, don't take dru alright off top of who knows, maybe maybe they got maybe you got.

Some good voices. That's not bad either. You have seen nothing what you got he's got. He's got march on your march on your march.

At Homer, I'm drinking a beer and I'm fucking lazy.

Jesus.

I don't like living in Springfield anymore.

I know it's not the game. And Christy, damn la the Homer. You're being stupid. Go upstairs.

That was really good.

Never show that.

That was really good.

Oh my gosh, all kinds of weird. Did you know, did you Joe off of Hey Peter?

Yeah, Peter, Me and Quagmire going down. Oh that's my Sam Elliott started into a dodge I'm gonna practice out one more. That's so funny, that's awesome, that's pretty good.

I want to know.

Well, we'll need that, especially in future episodes. I get you to read off ship. That's fucking.

Yeah, he's Batman.

I'm va retarded. I'm like, gets to studying me any grands when I was the kids can't can't You can't breathe.

Batman with the list man, I'm gonna slaughter any British accent so fuckingly.

I love it.

You can call him from the Lord of the Ring letting your secrets go. That's good sod. Wow, you did that pretty good. It was really born not having birthdays. You know what I do all the time? Practice was I can do a chipmunk. Were you raised like a understand? Yeah? Like Harry, why don't you have birthdays?

Because I come from a religious background that doesn't celebrate any birthdays.

I didn't know. I didn't know Nazi was a religious background. Now you do. They celebrated all.

They come to your front door, this ship.

That's how I was raised. So you knock out doors? Used to do you want to come work for me?

That does?

You would have to come into your inspect from people who was less superial.

Well, this was off to a fucking great start.

Let's going.

It's good.

I feel like it's necessary. This is bar conversation. This is what this was about.

Us doing this.

Other times that we're recording like this, I'm sure will be a little more sober so who fucking knows, uh, But so you know, the whole back to the serial Killer ship. So I was I was gonna make the joke when I was trying to fucking all this is shenanigans? Is that like if you're imagine if a kid like wets the bed, right.

And then he hits his head. No, no, he's like hits his head.

And then you're like you're like all night, you're like a mom warring in.

Your bed, like please don't kill those squirrels, because then it's like the final step and you're like, like, it's like we talked about Jeffrey Dahmer and the fact that like his dad, we talked about like the show when we dived until we did a whole four hour thing on it, and we're diving to the idea of like how like his dad went along with it. His dad was showing him how to do taxi Durnay and they were like, do you not think this might fuck up

I still haven't seen the DA series. It's great.

I love it.

I jerk off to it, like every Tuesday.

Why Tuesday is the dayDay?

It's a good it is a good es So yeah, so it's supposed to be his creel. He got cruel when he got older. His behavior became crueler to his his parents and his father were found dead in nineteen eighty one. The mother was never was then kept as a prisoner in the home until she was saved later and testified against him in court. The legend goes that his ghost still wanders around on all fours.

Looking like a hairy dog. Yeah that's Arkansas. Yeah, I well, fair, fair people. I went to Arkansas.

First went to a Walmart, and I can guarantee you, excluding me and my buddy, there was a full set of teeth and the entire building of fifty people one full set.

I feel bad now now I feel like my jokes were real. Oh yeah, there's joking.

There was a stretch of highway we went for like two hundred kilometers, not a gas not a gas station in sight, no power lines. Going to these shanties in the middle of the forest and like you see like parts of clothes on.

The side of the road, cell phones and like you get up.

We stopped at a get out a car to take a piss. It was hot, humid, and you just like you felt like something was watching this guy.

Mutabell being like, I got a cabin back here, you can stay it.

It's no, it's something made a human centipede. You want to see it, you.

Want to an extra pair.

I was editing the one episode I was dying laughing. I was talking about the human stipe, the South Park skit.

He's like, I won't do this to you.

Yeah, but it's Arkansas. It'll be like I will stay strong. And then they give my food is Japanese?

Now that's what don't they give him? Like something delicious? He goes, I can resist.

Japan or something.

Oh it's so good, so good, so fucked. I thought this would get wild, but I won't eat the gross sports. So you want to talk about the liquor, No, not the liquor.

I am the liquor.

No, no, like like like liquor, like what true? Yeah, you see that weird shit he did that rept house or they came no listen. They kicked out the speaker of house because he's the one that supposed to be brought in the Nazi, which is hilarious because liberals like that. And then they all clapped on. They clapped for a real fucking live Nazi. We're calling truckers that were fighting for their freedom Nazis. So but yeah, so they had

Yeah, well we gotta we gotta do that right after we bring a Nazi. That's why they did it.

But he's like in Trudeau's back pocket and probably the worldly kind of form. But Trudeau went like he was like laughing in one thing when they brought him up. Andy went like this and like stuck a tongue out of the speaker like a flirty like and he got like ripped apart on the internet. Good like he's showing and people are like only showing his lizard tongue, all these fucking baptiles. But he was like so if you look, everyone, go look up this video. It is the creepiest thing

It would sleep with her each night.

She would often put her hand down and feel the dog lick. Then one night, while her parents were away, she heard a dripping noise and it went into the bathroom and turned off the tap. Where she went in the bathroom turned off the tap. When she returned to bed, she felt her dog lick her hand. This happened several times till the girl investigated more and found the dog was hanging dead in the cupboard with a note reading humans can let.

To ah, yeah, yeah, I stop getting my car and torched the house. Gone gone. That is like a legit one that in Australia. What the poison things are.

That?

There is a there's to be this.

TV show on y TV. It's called Freaky Stories. Oh yeah, and they would do urban legends and stuff like that, right, And I'm pretty sure they would do some of the obscure ones too, of like the bug beds inside the bed That might be where I heard that one from it's that they like because it's not too inappropriate.

But that's fucking they don't show that. It's like the dogs, they just show they just just just they just get rid of it. It's like humans can like tosir and then the dogs take it out.

But the dog ran away.

I'm getting old. I just gotta wake a current. I'm the only I'm almost forty, billy, What you're almost forty?

Oh?

We have listened.

We I used to always say, I'm almost threw to ship the fuck up to so much other to be well, four years.

From your eyes? Either he's your age, because what you're you're twenty seven, twenty eight. I'll be twenty eight in December? Are you sure?

And probably past? Probably wond your birthday? Hey, I got you seventeen piece and passed day the same mine is exactly ten days after.

Seven, So fucking virgos, you can't trust. Okay, you're three either you fuck oh gross? Fuck you jealous? I'm born December twenty third one on the same, I say, And I don't know that, chick.

What what was your birthday?

December twenty third? Cancer? Maybe twenty fifth, twenty th I.

Was gonna be like man, you Jesus and Jesus were you born in July though, Jesus of July, that's your two days before Christmas, and you don't even need.

To celebrate either. I think that's why my parents like, actually, by the way, because Jehovah's.

Game, say you did celebrate it realistically, in a fucking the other kids world, they would have just got the same amount of gifts, which would suck, right, because the only idea is like you got you get two different days.

My dad is very I think I think though, I think they were like, Okay, it's either you get one set of presents, you get none at all when you could have had to.

But we're poor, so you get you said so much.

Wait, you're telling me that we could celebrate your birthday for the first time.

Yeah, we should do that. We should. We should time to religions, do it, celebrate.

Doing it.

I'm down up watch below the candles, the telegram.

Here we gotta get like the perfect presence, trim on it, the perfect little bow.

He opens. It's a tiny little dog or affairs that I want feed a handful of cash like this is.

My that.

Penguin.

Ones'll buy your fucking I'll buy your twenty nine gifts and from the morning on would be like this was birthday one.

I have a birthday present for you, as if you want chip In buy me a new car.

I can't fucking about that. I get my first birthday present.

What do you want? You're getting a fucking soothe I'm not trying to help me. A civic type? Are?

Civic type?

Are? It was less gay?

I would probably agree to this.

You know why I drive CIVICU.

Hold on, let me answer.

Almost. Hey, well, hey, true, well gas vehicles one.

That's let's suit a fucking radiated box the rest of our lives. That can turn off your dead Let's talk out something. I'm gonna I'm gonna do something little special. I'm gonna cut a little part up because we do have the clown statue.

Bottom line, clowns are creepy and this legend doesn't help.

The story goes that a babysitter of a wealthy family was told to watch TV in a specific, specific room after the children went to sleep.

How then, is that more than one in TV? Growing up?

Hey, huh huh, like going the go in that TV room, not.

This TV room? You had more than one TV.

Well that's what this this chick is. I had a bulb TV.

You know, it was like, oh yeah, I remember, I remember. I remember when somebody had the flat screen. The first one, the box one was.

Like the size of a huge when I was fucking uh why I swear, I don't know anyway, ages podcasts.

I was like, anyways, I was like six or seven. My uncle owned a bar. He had this flat scream. Then when I was like six or seven two and one, he had a I think it was like a sixty inch flat screen TV. The back of that must have weighed like four hundred goddamn it was huge.

That fell on you. Yeah, you were You're just gone.

I could take my dad, my two and my three uncles to all move that thing in Like everyone took a corner.

Got those big fat, like butterbean looking fucking dudes that like are carrying on their back was strapped.

That's funny.

So you know she was told to watch TV in a specific room. Well, there, she got creeped out by a clown statue statue and called the parents to ask if she could move rooms. They instructed her to grab the keys and leave the house and call the police.

Why wow, statue wasn't theirs.

The kids have been complaining of a clown watching them in the middle of the night, and the parents thought

Sounds like other ship. Yeah, knocking on your door.

And then she was like, I said, I feel like more offensive stuff by being like when I look at poor, I'll look up the little people poor, I look at porn door point or whatever. And then she got mad at Billy for what he said and then said, I didn't find what your buddy said is funny. Your buddy's not funny.

Well that's fair joined the rest of the people more of us. I actually, uh, it's funny. I've never seen a little person until this year.

Didn't that crazy?

It's not fucking crazy.

This year was the first, Like those people didn't come and play basketball for you. You remember that it was.

It was.

Actually, don't remember my story for a second. You had a bunch of it was the Columter little people. Yeah, they showed up and played basketball. Yeah, IM gonna stop slapping the bar.

And then they did the whole thing when they grabbed, they grabbed like the biggest tallest uh guy or teacher in the class and the like comes sit down next to me, and they sat down there the same height because their torsa is like the same height, full grown body and the like were the same side.

The first the first time, the first time I ever saw a little person. Holy ship was that. I just don't want to hear anybody. Sorry.

Anyway, I knew they were I knew they were real obviously, but I've never actually seen one in real life. And I left the grocery store grabbing lunch the one day, I go out side and the little person is sitting on the curb facing away from me, smoking a cigarette.

No independent, I thought for a split second it was a child.

Smoking, and I was like, that's fucking But you see that movies and ship, right, Yeah, like.

It didn't. It didn't click nothing. Hey, I will be honest, I said, I look funny, major port, I definitely have.

I am one of many men that would say if I had the opportunity and I was single, and she was a good looking little person, I funk the ship at her legal age.

Fine, I'm not that tall, so.

I feel like I'm a giant talking about the average Yes, thank you, thank you for making fun.

Of Tom and that he's aage somewhat average male.

Sit is not average male.

I am not a lepre I would be waiting.

Tall is overrated.

Anyway, we hit her hand on everything except a relationship that was a knife that was weird.

Can't your doors at girl's houses doors blacking?

Still at this conversation, like and I have some that's always that blew my mind that he never saw a fucking.

Like I knew of them. I knew we can't.

I've never seen one in we knew something. Buddy, my buddy, my brother, my buddy's brothers. One of his friends young like with all these like dirt bag kids right like and uh, you know, they got us into punk music and ship and they had a friend they called his names his midget and they all called him midget and it was just do you smoke weed?

Soul weed?

He was like, while I was like older like and he he liked being called.

That really, So it's weird too. It's like it's a different every single person like obviously black.

He like, you can't say it, but if somebody said that to me, like up, whitey, if you're like, yo, dude, what's going on?

Like I immediately and we're like, what's going on, Fritz? What's There's not much I don't say to going.

Back to you know, Tom's you know statement there, like if I was to find, you know, hypothetically a woman that was you know, a little person, and that it would look like the one scene from Thunderdome when he's riding around.

Spread running around the around the living rooms.

So the Vanishing Hitchhiker parts sweet, parts scary. The tale of the Vanishing Hitchhiker has been told for years. Two boys are driving to a school dance. They encounter a young girl on the side of the road, hitchhiking. She asked for a ride and a blowjob, fucking. She asked for a ride home.

She asked for it's uh, it's a She asked for a look. Welcome to twenty.

So she asked her and they invited her to to the dance. One of the boys lends her her a coat and she's because she's cold. They drove her to the dance. They had a lovely time. They asked if they could see her again. They show up into the house. The mom greets the greets them and explains her daughter had died on the corner where they picked up her twelve twelve days earlier. Sure enough, the coat was found in the cemetery where she was buried, draped over a gravestone.

Oh that just sounds yeah, it just got real sad. It just sounds like a shitty day.

Sad.

Yeah, that's very sad.

The typical too to day with the sawyer over here, it's fair constantly getting draped over tombstone left and beaten him for gone raped over?

Would you fucking a gravestars?

That blasphemy? That's that's disrespectful. Yeah, that's that's fair.

That's the same him playing Ouiji board and stuffed in the grave while playing boy.

That's also disrespectful. Yeah, yeah, I didn't say that wasn't.

So uh So I'm sad. The best story, but it's sad. She had a coat, she left it. The boys hat thought they had.

It, but the coach.

You're doing urban legends, not tragedies, not.

Just every urban legend tragedy, the Watson murders or whatever, yeah, is like and then he stuffed them in a tube, dag gone you know what, slit her throat.

His own child two years old, Like this is a fun time over.

Here, it's so funny.

So we did that, Chris Watts, let's say as quickly was they called them, and know what they call them family annihilators.

That's what they call them.

So he annihilated his family, He killed his fucking wife and his two young daughters because of pussy because another girl wanted him and didn't want him to have a wife for kids. So in his psychotic, fucked up mind, he was like he and people were talking about this reason. They were like, it's not that he even like he didn't even value them.

It wasn't something.

It was a means of gain where it's just like, Okay, if they're a problem, and if I get rid of that problem, they.

It's not like.

And and then like.

So he fucking kills them and acts like they're missing, and then you obviously.

Very and they put them in barrels like.

A big, huge like tank thing dumped her down a garbage shoot basically.

Girls anyways, Yeah, no, I just don't tell you this ship. He tells me, I want to talk.

About the residential school. Was like especially when no, I don't want to, and I'm like, it's gonna I want to talk about cat letter boxes, like I like making fun.

We just talked about that.

Actually that's not going to come out to after this, But yes, me and Billy were supposed to do this episode about this clown creature and it got way off.

The real talk about letter boxes.

We could talk about that, I'd use it.

I'd use it.

I called them out and googled it and the amount of ship that came up was unbelievable, Like it just started blowing.

Like just google cat letter boxes and schools and you can go, is it just for the furries?

It's from people that believe their.

Okay hold on what exactly leads people to be furzes from watching Japanese hen time.

The idea is.

Me and Billy did an episode about strange fetishes, so I had to research this stuff. So the idea that where it comes from a lot of people's sexual fetishes come from when they're children. So if you were like a kid you like, humped your fucking stuff animal, you eventually find attraction.

That even when you're older.

So if you like, I don't know, if you had an interaction with an older women something very simple when you were a kid, am I develop into you?

You're like you're like when you're older?

So anything, yeah, yeah, every every like me and Billy Tug was in the show and then you.

Said, why this is even a bucket a solid? The whole bikini section is even the jeans.

Jeans sucks now Winter coats are very water I can't get into the water machine section.

It got weird.

Look up, hold on, hold on, hold on, before we get hold on, hold on, what.

About like kids like when they used to watch Disney and you see the princesses and they're.

Like, the.

Princess cartoon port is like a huge thing.

No, no, not a cartoon port.

I mean like just the fact of, like you think cities have something to do with like a certain attraction.

Queen Elizabeth was fucking hot. It's Billy loves that lizard time going down to his team like this fucking Gucci's like, oh yeah, there you.

Go to You wouldn't like that man whe gorgeous, but she actually was.

Oh yeah, she had the longest Okay, would you.

Listen?

Would you would you fuck her?

Listen to this?

Would you fuck her?

Like you know when she was like eighty or ninety but you're in a step VR headset. Oh you see her the exact same way she was when she was younger.

No, no, no, no, I won't because it doesn't feel the same. It's like that's not what I'm saying. I'm grabbing here, but it's actually here.

Whoa, whoa? So yeah, you could.

That's why think about the stuff, the fact that kids have so like they have vast access to the Internet.

I grew up when it just kind of blew up. That could be like, oh I can type in boom no. But that's the thing.

You gotta go downstairs on a family comp walk in on you at any time, you weren't searching fucking ship and if you were ever like you're fucking like constantly street history.

Why has all history gone from last week?

Remember the old the handheld video game the PSP. Yeah, I had an Internet browser. I used the league.

Really trying to fucking play like tennis at the same time.

So nobody knows this.

It didn't loved videos so well, but Google Images did just fine. Really, I never had that's the one I didn't get it.

I don't care about say I've ever said the show, so that's too late. But like one of the first things I ever came to, it's fucking embarrassing was Madonna because Madonna used to like post nude all the time. She's disgusting now she's a creature.

But it would like it was like when she was younger, and it was like boo and it was like just like a nipple, and I was like, all right, we're getting there, dude, dud. It took so long and I was like all anticipating for it.

I was like, wow. The first I came was to I think, just build up of that. It's loading.

She was a kid.

Uh.

I was like, sat him up with Alex, my guy friend, not like that, not that sure that.

So we played team here most people do. It's funny as hell, that's fair. No, No, people are like, is that dude gay?

I think it's just my mannerism because you can joke and be on. Apparently I'm gonna.

I always come on the conclusion. When you first met Sawyer, just as general Aura, when you first meet him, did you think he was a like douchebag?

No?

I thought he was my best fucking friend because he acted just like Alex. I was like, yeah, we're gonna hang out.

Most most people when they meet me there assume that guy's a douche or he's like.

You.

Immediately that was like, I definitely have like.

And and who knows that this is reflects your dating life or some ship, but you have the asshole kind of face look to you.

But as soon as we started talking music.

I was like, okay, you like hip hop and old school ship like Underground Wrap, And I was like, okay, this is easy.

Yeah.

The first one when I first met him, I was like, kind of reminds me of like a douchey Owen Wilson.

I was like, And then I was like, paint this picture wow wow.

And then I kind of like started like warming up.

I was like, oh, he's nothing.

When I anticipated like this, he's actually pretty cool. I like him, but like first impression, I was like, this guy, this guy's.

Just like to see if you want to come on tomorrow. By the way, Alex I got to do for the wedding. Your wedding wedding, Yeah, one, your table is definitely like me and.

Your table is gonna be by far the loudest. So you've met, You've met Christian. He's gonna you both met Christian. He's gonna be there.

I don't know if he's at her table other than those three and Chelsea's.

This is what it's gonna be.

Like Chelsea's friend that she she knew when she was working in like daycare.

Can I talked to Chelsea's friend like I talked to these.

Two she's she's yeah, she's cool like that. Much of choice doesn't because is gonna sit there quietly and laugh at you guys most likely and then sucking. All three you were gonna be going up. I can just be like looking over your table. So it's funny we get there, so the I guess for the fans to know now, because it's kind of like a rand episode a bit.

It's gonna stare at you. All three of us are gonna be saying ship. We're just gonna be sitting there.

We're just gonna be like fucking like I hope they kiss with lots of time, and it's gonna be it's so stupid. We have to be like ding ding ding and we have to kiss. It's like like we've done this for like thirty fourteen years or whatever, just bang on the.

Table, level it up, fucking show this wedding what a wedding means. So most people fuck on the table in front of.

People at our wedding was the best thing that can be all covered to you. Just let the dressed up and be like, look at everyone all the fucking man. If you all look under your cheers, you all have a bottle of barbecue sauce them up and.

You're gonna say, every on the table or over has an orgasm egg for each of their girlfriends.

And it's like you and so you're looking at each other.

Who's putting up their ass rock paper scissors an orgasm?

Can put it under the chair.

Please. We're so funny, Like what the fun is that we got a special surprise you whatever? I wonder if there's a device you can if I gotta makes people.

Listen as a joke. Listen as a joke.

We're gonna watch everybody. We're gonna need to change.

We're gonna be doing like obviously slow dances you guys have to do jokingly.

One, he's so funny, just like who takes the lead?

Whose hips are getting touched? Yeah, you guys, the only person who's taller. It sounds oh yeah, I invited, I'm taking Why don't I just.

Wear my dress? Look up?

It is a university urban legend here in the Philippines. There was a female college student. Because it's these are Reddit stories. This is from someone who's from that.

We're all Filipino.

Actually college student that went into the female restroom and found a grown man with his dickhoud Okay, that's not what it says. But there was a female college student that went into the female's restroom. In the cubicle, she could hear a female voice.

The voice is saying something rotten.

It's saying some Latin.

I don't remember the exact words with this guy saying something Lattin's going poppy?

Is that Latin? Because Latin is like a That sounded like you were choking on.

You know, people speak last when they're under getting exercise.

Now what you do? What are we talking about, right? I don't know of any exercise that involved.

They speak Latin. They speak in tongues. Your religious people know this.

Wow, that's.

Have you ever been there?

Sorry, when someone was like fucking possessed by Jesus.

No, I'm glad.

No one.

Jesus doesn't possess people.

I don't know where people get that.

Jesus isn't known for possessing people.

What is that the evangelical churches that do that whole like, oh yeah, it's like the power of Christ can pass that. This is Jesus's touch.

And then he's like, yeah, yeah, they look like they have like a demon coming out of them. Is so strange. Yeah, your sins and yeah they're like throwing Remember church, don't you.

Yeah, fucking in church for yours. I I chose that at the time. I thought weed was more important.

I stopped going. I think it was creating reasons. I love the fucking values.

Man.

I loved it.

Yeah, Honestly, I keep saying if I'm gonna, well not if when I have kids, I'm gonna definitely.

Go back to church. Really, it gives you.

It gives you a lot, It gives you a lot of really good hundred percent that makes you just wonder, like because it is so fucking wholesome. It just it teaches you to care about other people. But you can just severely lacking in the world, as you might think. I might not, I really do.

I think more on.

Ethics are important. But I do think you can teach your kids that under your own religion.

You can.

But if you have like the compelling theory of like, if you don't listen, you're going to a fiery pit of hell.

But he very compelling.

It's pretty compellings.

Are gonna die in a year. It doesn't vaccinate them, Yeah, just help me.

Fine, your kids will come out with.

Doesn't exist, just choke you vax your kids? Or no, you don't vax your kids. You VAXX.

I see, or like what sort of I can have my kids like forty years after them, they gotta.

Come out.

Live Billy kids at forty autistic?

At least get some tennis.

That was a fact.

Tennis is a concrete fact. Other than that, go wild, hold out as much as you want.

Who who knows?

You know.

I'm sure people know my thoughts on this show. But there was a point I was gonna make, but Billy made me forget Latin. You know, religion. I'm surprised you bring your kids back to church, actually because I do.

I do so.

I do think you can teach your kids with moral and ethics under.

Guess guys, who gives lurches from the most not. You promise that it's not you, it's their peers. I don't want that peers to be school. That's why your home to school your kid, and you're rolling away. That means someone's got to stay home from work though, Like that's just not an option.

You can't do that anymore.

In the same time, that's that's a correction for you because you're filthy rich.

I mean, I let Bratt wash.

Would let Brett fucking speak to my hiuldren.

We would go four million, and I would give them ice cream and like all right here and come back.

In a full fucking body cast. You're like, he slipped, They come back put the bird on you.

They would come back in a full body cast with every new racial slur ever known to man.

Smoking vibes, smoking this, like that, like the baby off of who framed Roger Ratget Robert.

Robert that's fucking goddamn.

Cush fucked my brain up, man.

Obviously, the female student was frightened and hurry back because she heard this person in the stall speaking in Latin. She then asked her professor what the meaning of the word was from what she heard in the rest restroom, and the professor said, it means look up, look up, so as she's like, she's hearing all this commotion and all these Spanish words, and who knows that this woman was also frightened or doing it.

And then if she would have looked up, there was probably.

Somebody or this woman looking over her because she was speaking in all sorts of crazy tongues.

And she then it means look up.

So she's taking a poop and she's like, not that, like just scared, and then she realized that there was someone watching her pee the whole time.

A poop.

No, I can't do it.

Yes, your best impression of Latin?

Of Latin? Yeah, I've never even heard? Yeah? Can you can you give me like some sort of baseline to go off of something? Give me a baseline INGI wow, it's yeah, like what where's that? I can't hear Latin in my head right now?

Mean, if I had to make it up on the spot, I'm going to make it up. Languages is the best part Dante's you know, Monte sounds kind of glad, that's a Spanish sounds Spanish. But that's that's my best coaching.

Grand there was there wasn't.

Kevin check out check out. What were I don't know the house. I can't read the letters.

It's a house in the square box next to it.

This is.

So he's on vacation with a bunch of his buddies out in like Tokyo or something, and they've been like eating.

Sushi all week. He doesn't do like Japanese. He just wasn't eating right.

And he's telling he's telling, Oh yeah, he's great, but he's he's telling the story about how he's in the hotel room just like dying of hunger, and somebody like rings the room room service or whatever, and somebody answers in English, and he's like.

Check out, please check out. Well, even I don't know. So there's a oh, wait till Brett Stud's fucking wait till he's done igniting his sassage.

Sassage, I'm sorry it requires a lot of heat that it's a bit of a three and a half inch tobacco sausage.

Well, this is going according to plan.

There's an urban legend in Venezuela, uh surrounding I'm not gonna l l Sibon El Sibon the Whistler, a figure known uh in the wet the wet plans and the perish in this region called uh Laos. The whistler is usually described as very emancy and an emancy. A man dressed in cowboy rags with a white brimmed hat that that hides his skeleton face. He runs around the countryside and patches of bushes.

That night he hides and bushes ghost Rider, but for trees.

Yes, his shoulders are drooping and his gaze cast down. He roams the countryside and uhesus. He carries a heavy bag full of bones and half decomposed remains over his back. True to his name, the entire continuous whistler, he whistles at a high chord.

Uh and this is the progression.

C D E F G A B C J.

You're you're whistling on an inhale. I can't here, I can't do that.

That's it sounds like my ringtone. That's what you sounded like.

You have the you just his exact can you say the notes he's hitting again?

C D E F G A B C he literally okay, he's that's that's nothing. He's singing in no song ever.

That that is literally every fucking note almost that is just like you just learned how to play every cord on the guitar, and you just start.

That carries bones on his back, and he's also made of bones and whistles.

How can he whistle when he's made of bones and has the lips?

Oh fucking no, I don't know why any ship his own excessive fucking wind.

The wind through his bones whistles off his bones like a walking organ. He's got a dick bone and it's got a whole cardon wind fruits, playing dick trumpets and skin flutes.

Somebody would recognize my whistling talents like that, because every time I look at someone, I go.

The go.

Nobody ever says f sharp minor. He appears to thank you, appreciating how much effort exquisite music that.

Us in a higher in tune with every note. He is also unnaturally tall and strong, with some accounts described him as towering over six measures almost twenty.

Feet in height.

His origin is not clear, with some tales casting him as maybe like a parasite. He is rumored to prey on lone travelers, especially drunk, or on faithful men. Legend has it his ominous whistle is suddenly heard very loud and close until the source cannot be pinpointed, contrary to logic. When the sound lowers and appears more distant, the whistler is very near. He kills either by strangling or blunt force trauma. That's nice, victims, and then he throws the

Very close, sounds right, sure, yeah, no one knows that. It's not gonna be me pronouncing anything. Southwestern Ontario vocabulary. Yeah, well, most typical.

I'm gonna tell you.

Santana, Santonio, San Antonio, there was no There was a school bus that broke down a set of train tracks. Before the bus could be moved or evacuated, a train barreled down the tracks, tragically killing all that was on board. It was such a tragedy the local government eventually named all nearby streets after these children.

It's quite sad.

So alright, we got billy on the left, got we.

Got river and rain on fucking note, so as you, Yeah, it's not twenty three.

Name Therin's William. The name of every nineties bully ever is Billy? Please me the moom Billy and the boys.

Yeah, I think, and then and then their conservative father we'll go handle with like a man pund in the mouth.

So it just hangs around the school yard. Well it sounds like Billy's going to jail.

So as your drive passed a mental institution on roads named after dan children, you come to a hill. On this hill is where the road meets the train tracks. Oh, I've heard this before. So you park your tracks, uh, your car on the tracks and put in neutral for at effect. You even put some white powder on your bumper. Then you wait, you get some baby powder, just like sprinkle.

Some white powder from.

Baby powder, always chaping. Don't put some coco on there.

Yeah, put some white powder on your bumper.

Snort it and you'll see go every time it's it's weird, but every thinking baby patter think of Giant Knoxville when they do like the fart.

So he tested if you can see the fart he's.

Did it poof poof, because he finds like when he's sleeping, it's like.

Comes out like a glass. It looks like class buddy, oh man, I my drunk movie go tos or like jackass movies.

Just fucking laughing because it's white white powder. So you put the white powder, you fucking sprinkle on your fucking back of your car. Okay, I'm talking about like this baby powder fucking starch. I don't give a ship you find if you find tiny fingerprints supposed to be those are the prints of the proof.

Of I like that those princes a bumper homes. Yeah, baby, you're.

Parking some fuckings, like like, what's doing bumper man that Jason Chong, he was like, that's not fucking coke man, and he's like fucking covered his face and.

It's like it's salt man. Salt I was looking for girls. He would snoring the only powder.

So it's probably it's supposedly proof that the ghost children who have died in the wreck years ago pushed you off the tracks to save your car in life from being hit by the train like they were.

Okay, so there's a point to it, you know, just looking for this.

Is there's many legends of this.

There's the the baby Bridge legend, baby Bridge blood whatever it's legend about, like there's this bridge.

We're supposed to be a woman killed her.

Baby or whatever, and then are their children or kids fell off in a crash, the same kind of idea. Crib bridge is what it's called. And then so supposedly if you put like white pattern on it or something like that, because then.

You can see the fingerprints.

Activities well, the same idea.

It's like if you want to get in.

Fine to go multiple activity. Is it just paranormal activity, yes, paranormal it's not normal activity. It's like it.

That's what the movie should have been called. That was That was the first movie, and that should have been paranormal activities.

The Scandinavian NeSSI is rumored supposed sorry NISI whatever, it's n I S S E.

Nissy.

Scandinavian Nissy is rumored to be a small you can't do there's no Internet.

This is rumored to be a.

Small gnome like creature that lives in barns or farmhouses and nearby woods.

The Nissi are.

Excellent at hiding. You can sometimes turn invisible, so it's a creature like alone right barns or farmhouse pathetic in the nearby woods. The nieces are excellent at hiding and can sometimes turn visible. You'll only ever catch a glimpse of them, if that. When treat with respect, a Nissi will protect you and your farm. So the nis is like the leprechaun. It's a small creature. It could even help you with chores, uh supposed to lens will do

Because of some leprecauns. These things kind of the similar things.

A lot of these little elemental creatures.

Do stuff like this.

They make a pair of Jordan's.

I'm sure sure if you gave them the chance, they might might do so.

Enough gold coins gonna make anything.

True, all right, sure?

And then so you have to treat them with respect, and nie will protect you, know everything. They are especially fond of animals, But beware a Nissi who feels insulted or disrespected can turn mischievous, even vicious.

To this day, it's traditioned to leave out a bowl of porridge.

I don't know why they'd like that so much in the barn for the niss On.

Christmas Eve, I didn't grow up on a farm, so my mom had us put out a bowl in the garage instead, just.

In case, a bowl of cold porridge.

Porridge.

So, because of the way this episode went and how crazy it went, all sorts of it went all off the road. We crashed and we got back in the car and then we started driving again.

I'm gonna leaveing wheel.

Yes, the god fucking horror.

The deer jumped in front of it.

So we're gonna leave the I had idea to bring it to a close with the idea behind why Clive Barker wrote candy Man, which makes more sense to do for Aaron's show anyway, because it's a horror podcast. So let's bring it to the close of the last two. So there's a legend revolving the collector in Russia and actually has real world roots. In twenty eleven, a man was apprehended in Russia after his shocking secret was discovered.

Oh God, and ed Green type, they say that would smell funky, not their dread out. Do you know who ed Geen is?

Anyway?

You know, like the fucking the amount of time to talk about everything. I'm sure I've heard of him before.

We did a whole fucking episode forget these things because I listened to way too much of you.

Did a whole entire episode. How many did you kill?

I don't know, like three or four? You're not two.

Technically he wasn't.

Maybe three.

He's not classified.

But he's the person that was the Texas chance Masacer was based off of because he he was essentially a grave digger. He would dig up bodies. He dig up bodies of like in the cemetery, freshly dugged graves. He would dig up the body and then he would use the skin. And it's fine, we joke so much about

She was like a crazy woman.

It sounds like, yeah, I was staring.

There's some of them that she would have if they she walk around on purpose, well, they says, either naked or scantily clothed. And if some of these, you know, victims of the concentration camps, Jewish people, other people would be caught looking at her, and they would some of them they would just be shot the head of instantly dead, just like they.

Yes, they don't really want to take your chances. Like you know, you know, I'll clean it up.

We'll clean clean it up, clean, you know, cleaning clean, pain total he dug up twenty nine cadavers.

Oh god, uh.

The absolute sickening event had spurred the legend of the Collector, a mysterious figure who kidnaps people, slays them, and then puts their money mummified remains on display.

The collect there is known all over the world, but.

Such stories are the true stories actually come from Russia. This story actually has there's a big presence of that.

It's a real story.

But like I was gonna say about it again, he would take body parts he made. He had a tit belt and people would know this other fans. But he hated a belt made out of nipples, entire belt, his man of nipples.

Yeah he had.

He would put on his mom's his mom died, He dug up his mom's body and then put on her skin.

Is that fucked up?

No?

No, interesting serial killers are or something fucking crazy?

He did?

He found They found the skulls man.

That he made into bowls that he is cereal out of super what thee like?

That's why that's what gets into the title.

No, he technically wasn't a serial killer. It's more than three victims. Very funny, but like he wasn't considered one because of his acts of depravity. That's why he became so well known. And that's why they based text change mask off of him. Is because he would wear like skin suits and ship and dance in the mirror and yeah, fun times.

One last one body under the bed.

This one some urban legends turn out to be true, And that's what I was gonna say that one of the candy Man one is actually a true story about in when you know people live in the project buildings and stuff like that, and.

Some people being in the walls legitimate. This is a true story, but this is not what we're talking about. Closet coming out the closet, and I watched your rights coming out of the wall. That's like Poulter guy ship. That's even worse. No, it's funny. I just to quickly say this.

I just find to finding someone brought up and it's such a good point of someone said they were having a good conversation with somebody who is trans or whatever, right, somebody that's very far left, and because there's people not all people are like that and all trans people whatever, but they were so far the other way.

Billy's definitely got to p That's why he wants it wrapped up.

That's why he wants wrapped up, because he's got so the So they were like, I haven't this person who was claim they having a good conversation with somebody that was very far that way. They were getting to a point and then they kept calling, well, you're only a cist gendered male and.

They're like, no, I want you to call me a real woman. I'm a woman.

I want you, I don't want to need these. You don't even call me cis. That's not what I want to be identified as.

And then they're like you're a fucking transphobe, had a bigot and like went off, and the idea these people want to be called everything. I always bring this up because it's so prevalent in our society right now. They want to be like catered to and called what they want.

But then if you asked to do the same thing, no, yeah, yeah, just ignore it.

A vacation in couples, newlyweds, Disneyland guests all have been the subject of an urban legend involving hotel occupants who fell blissfully to sleep, only to wake up in an awful stench coming from either under the bed or inside the mattress. Closer inspection reveals that a dead body had been stashed away, presumably someone that had not died of natural causes. The traveling tale has been confirmed by multiple

Up wows anymore?

Lenything about that?

Bread? What I think about that, I'm thinking about never a hotel ever again.

Motel is probably a lot ones. You're not going to get that out of it.

That's fucking That is crazy. That's a ended on a true urban legend. That's fucking crazy that even has happened to people where you've slept on top.

Of a dead person. Yeah, that wouldn't be Okay, that's what we call a starfish.

Ladies and gentlemen, all right, well bring it.

For I'm sure he'll come up here at some point. But uh for all the fans, uh we do. We're doing something different. We're chilling at a bar. We're filming literally on my phone for the video and stuff. Like that because all the equipment here. So there has been some mistakes made and they will be edited prior to But I hope you guys did enjoy this kind of Shenanigan's style episode because I figured that's what that's what

No, but we still got to this point, you know.

So, yeah, there's a there's real and a real urban legend, Billy, because you were a Pippean. I know, I know, I hear.

That.

There's there's real stories of people have actually slept on top of a dead body being under the bed, or there was a story in nineteen ninety nine in Lank City where somebody slept on top of a body there's inside of a mattress.

Good fantastic, Listen, I do that every night.

My girlfriend is already dead.

She's a she's alive. You'll meet her. She's real making it up.

It's funny because all right, everybody, very luck.

You meet her shop she's just staring at me. In the corner. She had that up. Come home with me anyways later.

All right, Billy's done. I mean the episode is done because took off his hat. He's going back to your shift.

Uh.

All right, we hope you guys enjoyed this episode.

Obviously to support us to go to the Patreon by merch all that kind of fun stuff. Check out my music and Billy's music on Spotify, these guys.

That's funny. I searched today. It's your Spotify all my music, so I know the ratings go on it. I don't Spotify. It shows. It shows the most popular. None of us have service. Well one song because I think of I do and I'm with Freedom. I got service set. Wow, I'm with Bell and it's worse.

Billy's popular song is blue Balls because he has blue balls. He knows a song called blue balls.

He made a song about me.

All right, wait, hold on, you finish it.

I just want to say, everybody lick each other's assholes. I don't give a ship. Let's try to human centipede. We'll start from scumtown brandf and Ontario and we'll leap down.

No, I said, remember, take nothing serious.

Take nothing seriously, because nothing has been serious.

Anyone who took anything seriously is not listening. Promise, don't take anything yellow.

I was yelled at the radios, and it's like, who listens to a radio? Welcome back to the old time of radio. I'm working a funk off. I said, we're gonna follow the horse races today.

H