Cult Of Cryptids: The Loch Ness Monster!

Welcome to the Cult of Cryptis Strange of counters, of frogs and lizards, dumb my nick children.

Good Man, Bigfoot, Mockman.

And all their victims. Murry pictures captured by shot witness, ufloes breaking laws of physics, Pictures.

Of aliens carving the high rogue lyphics. This is a bizarre.

World that we live in.

So sit back, relax, laugh.

And listen because we're here to talk about some cryptics.

This is Tom Thompson Costenos new Raptilian from Strange Group Podcast, and we're here I called the Conspiracy to talk about some bizarre and strange things. So strap in for this wild and hilarious ride. Now to the show, everybody. The curtains are open. We're checking tickets out the door. It's about to get strange.

Everybody, all right, welcome to the show. Welcome to another Strange brew podcast. And I guess technically it's a swapcast.

Uh.

This is a very special episode. So to introduce myself. If you don't know who myself is, I am Tom kat Aka the Raptilian. You're gonna okay, introduce yourself, Reverend Kaijui.

It folks, what's happening?

Everybody, and we have a very special guest from across the Pond. We have Ian from the Raw Bahram We Bram you podcast Watch Brain.

We still got it wrong. I know.

It's a lot easier for us Scott's to ring off the tongue bo I'm you, yeah said, but I'm you for anyone who doesn't know. But I'm you is from the film Babe, the nineties film with a pig that wants to be a sheep dog.

I've been running for about just over a year doing.

Conspiracy, politics, philosophy, and I've also got started a new show with a woman from California where we do like live we use meiling up, it's similar to zoom, and we do like political issues. We did like gun control, immigration, so those are on every second Saturday night.

But for me, this is just it's.

Been a journey that I've been on for five or six years, starting off with getting into politics around about when Scotland the independence vote was happening, and then Brexit, and then it got into philosophy and then someone mentioned they believed in fly Earth that house party, and it got me down the rabbit hole and I've never left it since.

So are you are you a flatty, Yes you are.

I didn't know that. We just I thought we discussed this. I'm not on that fucking We've covered it once, right and we made fun of flat Earth, and you know, it's just it. I've said this before just to get in this before we get in the lock nest, right that, Uh, for me and my beliefs, it thwes everything out the window,

Stuff like that.

So like it would literally throw everything out the window. I've had I've had some big flat earthers try to get on the podcast. Who's that guy? One head? Uh David Weis tried to get on my podcast and I told him I didn't want him on.

Uh yea Mark sergeant on?

Yeah, Mark sergeant. And I've had a bunch of people pople that are like, hey, are you interested in doing an episode about flat Earth. It's like, no, we covered it and made fun of it and threw it out the window. But I understand because I did go on showed it actually a Blue Coyote, a younger podcast. He's in his early twenties, young dude, but he's super into conspiracies that I jumped on his show and we he is flat Earther, and we did discuss it, and I said,

So Tom, you having that globe behind you is just pure coincidence.

Day? Oh is that? Yeah?

I set this up perfectly.

No, No, I want to hear you.

I want to hear you acknowledge that coincidence just happened.

And it has all the monsters on it.

For all the listeners on the audio, I have like one of those old school like globes and it has all the monsters on them where they supposedly were at the time.

I love it. But where what would you call that?

This is a glow.

It just happened. Oh, you will never.

Ever ever use the word coincidence in a real life scenario.

That's what I love it.

I have China, Russia, we're Scotland. Let's get on the Scotland side of it.

Right there, Bro, this episode's gonna get canceled. You just said the word Russia. So this will be a lot of fun.

We're doing this swabcast, so this will technically be on Ian's podcast too, so go check that out. If you're a fan of Strange Brew, I'm sure you'll enjoy the conspiracy side of Ian, even if he is a flat earther. But this this episode, we're gonna have a lot of fun. You know. This is an introduction to have Ian on because I'm sure we'll work together going forward and doing other episodes, because especially I like being able to cover

But I have a couple of a couple of things just the monster connection where they're all like cool. Maybe the same thing when when people bring up the whole like well, when Crowley opened the Portal and the Great Pyramid, that's when the UFO started showing up.

There's a similar thing with the lockness.

Yeah, because I and you said it, you started realizing the connection to Crowley and ship right.

Yes, Crowley is one that I do want to do an episode, and I've been threatening to do it for a while now. And I listened to those conspiracy guys quite a lot, and they did a deep dive like a six seven hour episode on Crowley and I've listened to it, so all the knowledge is there are just a while ago.

But yeah, it's it's interesting.

He's he's a guy that I believe that the people that are in our world are modeling themselves off of or taking a lot of what He put into the world and making it, you know, reality now.

So I think it's I mean, I'm quite emboised about it.

Like I live in Scotland and I didn't even know how this stuff, Like you're saying all this folklore tales and things, and I should really know that kind of stuff. But Lockness is obviously the main one everyone knows about, the Lockness Monster.

Have you ever seen the Lockness Monster?

No? I haven't.

No, I've actually only been once when I was little, little, like probably less than you didn't You didn't go.

To Bullskin, then that was gonna be my next question. Have you ever been to Bullskin manor No?

No, My hometown is about two and a half hour drive from Burness and then where I live now is probably about three and a half. So we are planning on going actually in the next few months.

So it's a good idea.

Well it's warm out, nice weather and shit like that, and get out there. Yeah, like we covered Crowley and we did I think like two and a half hours something like there, close to two hours. It's like that was enough. I don't know how those fucking dudes do like five six fucking.

Hours, because there's that much information on me. You squeeze it into two hours. You can definitely stretch it out. And then you throw a little bit of banter and just stretched out he stretched out that.

Our prime Minister Boris Johnson. His wife last year did a f r reann Ackman of al Starck Croy's life, paying homage to him.

Really, yeah, Boris Johnson, the devil. Well, they're all devils. So I'm drinking on some coffee with some liqure in it, and just because I'm an alcoholic, I do.

Have a great food vod Ca soda.

Nice.

I gotta go to a birthday party after this where I'll be on roller skates and I'm gonna get drunk there, so I figured best not the pre game otherwise. I I've never roller skated, I can ice skate, I can inline, never been on quads, and I'm I'm gonna bust my ass.

At least, are you gonna wear those short short jeans? Those short jeans shorts I cut.

I cut off a pair of Daisy Duke strictly for the occasion to highlight my lack of an ass.

And I.

Actually can't skate and I can't roller blade at all.

I've know you're a terrible fucking Canadian.

I fucking hate skating, I hate hockey. I am a bad Canadian. So let's just get into this. In the depths of Luckness, a monster of the ages lurks in the murky water with the long neck and powerful fins. All NeSSI manages to bring the mysteries of the past into the present, while not always visible to the public. You may get a lucky you may be a lucky one, and you might be able to see Lockness carefully move

First, right off the bat, why the fuck you got a gender at Tom? How dare you?

Jenners don't exist?

Remember, let's make us all it's all subjective. It's all subjective, buddy. That's science, that's real science.

So what is Lockness? Monster? Though there are many versions of the Lockness story, most tales will include some references to obviously a large dragon or dinosaur like creature it's fucking a reptilian that can be spotted in the waters of Lockness and sometimes in the surrounding land areas as well. Like there's weird stories where it's like walking across the street.

The old Joe Rogan, Joe, you know what you don't find when you go looking for bigfoot?

Black people?

Yeah, the Lockness I've got all but on the Lockness. The location and things is in the Scottish Highlands and it's the biggest lake in the British Ales. It's twenty three males long, seven hundred and fifty feet deep. That's pretty as the North Sea.

That's pretty yeah, can you like go swimming in there? It's like a lake, right, so do people go swimming in like? That would be kind of fun. Actually, you know, you feel your balls being tickled, but or like maybe you can maybe I don't know, if it's like a dinosaur type creature, it would be kind of cool if you could, Like he Lockness comes out of the water and you can sit on her head or fucking.

It as a monster fetish. If you can't tell.

I want to get fucked by a monster.

There's a reason he's into reptilians, Like reptilians your fucking name. He has this secret reptilian fetish where he's like always hoping that his fiance one day while they're you know, in the throes of it, is gonna just rip off her face.

I knew it, you know.

I mean man talking about Bigfoot being thick. I think that one wants that's too cute. Yeah, I think one wants that bigfoot booty. So the story of Lockness begins with water bailiff. What a fuck is a water bailiff? It's like, make sure in this water stays calm.

This water is in contempt, bailiff, take it away.

It's actually really funny. Alex Campbell on May second, nineteen thirty three. Uh, he identified the possibility of a monster in the Locke while writing in the invern Uh, not gonna put the Inverness career? Is that right, Inverness Courier? Am I saying that right? I don't want to fucking butcher everything as a.

Part for a change.

Yeah, where's my cringe button?

Cringe?

Fuck God, so far away, so many fucking goddamn.

Cringey ass bitch.

It's even more cringey when you can't find it as a part time journalist.

Obviously. In the original setting of Ness Whoever was reported on August fourth in nineteen thirty three by George Spicer and his wife. According to this report, George and his wife were driving on the road near Lockness when they saw a creature that looked similar to a dragon and which he assumed had have at least of obviously a few prehistoric ties, and the report, he stated that the

Like a dragon, I need to say it.

He likes got armor and chain me on his fucking back of his.

Car just gets out whistles and a horse comes out of.

Nowhere in full armor, just like, what the fuck? Listen?

If the monster didn't bend down and asked her about tree Fitty, then it wasn't a lockhoss monster.

I just watched that and I was like laughing up, cracking up.

Oh that.

I realize that that girl Scout was about seven stories dull and a crustacean from the patal liptic era.

And I said, God, damn you monster. We worked for our money in this house we had given away. No goddamn fit it.

South Park. You guys watched south Park there, kid? Do you guys watch south Park in Scotland.

Yeah?

The wife vice from California, so she's got me into all these adult cartoons FS for family in south Park and.

That's fun mans. Her family is fucking hilarious too.

That's amazing. I love it.

After George reported report was filed with the Career, the news publication began receiving more and more anonymous letters claiming to have seen either the same monster themselves or not a person that has seen said monster. Some of these letters even contained family legends that have supposedly been passed down and mentioned by like I mentioned a similar monster

Ian They came out with the monster fish, sea serpent, or dragging, and then they finally settled on lockedness monster, and since the nineteen fourties, the creature has been affectionately called NeSSI on.

Old NeSSI do you hear a lot of people talking about this or like, you know, you ever talked to you an old fisherman down by the bay and he's like, so I saw monster wants.

Yeah. I mean again, it's everyone knows about Nessy.

It's everybody.

If you go into a store and you're gonna buy some short bread or some Scottish you know, yeah, there's gonna be a picture on Nessie wearing the Scottish hot with ginger hair. Yeah.

And I'm sure it's such a tourist marketing where they like you know sell you a kilt, but it's got locknest monster's fucking head on it and ship like that. Do you wear kilt often or how often do you wear killed?

Just for weddings? Are really expensive? I do you want to own my own one? One day?

They're Scottish.

You don't have a fucking kilper my My girlfriend's fucking sister's husband owns one because like her stepdad Scottish. Chelsea stepdad is like full blown Scottish.

So it's a so I I have a kinship to the people. Nice I'm gonna ask.

I'm gonna ask Jimmy about lockness. I'm like, you, have you seen the monster Jimmy when you were a child poor in fucking Scotland?

Tom says kinship. We all know he just likes to walk around get an air on his balls.

It's true, you know it must be comfortable. I look really weird in Canada wearing a fucking literally wearing a kill everywhere I go. But man, it probably seems pretty nice like to put it on your balls.

I've only ever owned one of the hot topic Utila kilts, but I would definitely not wear anything under it.

And it was very, very comfortable.

So the Lockness monster changes Scotland.

Do you guys, you guys, did you ever do about research and find out about the five six five a d sighting.

Or you know where it goes to.

Oh I have a little bit on that, but not only that far back. I think I start with Colombo or whatever the fuck his name is.

Yeah, that's it. That's it, Columbus.

Okay, Yeah, so we'll get into that in a bit. Yeah, not that guy. It's a Columba. Columba saw the news of the new cryptid spread quickly and raised many questions, lamely where did it come from? You know, obviously in are there you know, creatures like this in history that I've been overlooked? And there also needs to be proof that you know, drove tourists, encryptid hunters alike two Lockness and search maybe in a chance to find concrete evidence

Well, I mean technically, if you find Mothman, you don't want to find him.

The harbinger of fucking doom.

It doesn't look as adorable as this pretends that it does.

There's one guy from uh fucking Arkansas that just wants to find a lovelnd frogman, so we could fuck it. I got my weed pen. We'll see if I hit this while we would doing this.

If he goes silent for twenty minutes, we know that he's so many changes remade.

But the injured duction of the Lachanness Monster, the Inverness suddenly became a place of an intrigue and wondered with many possibilities. Obviously have this community representing themselves seemingly overnight. Now we have this big thing of lockness. It spreads everywhere.

Well, I believe it was up in your neck of the Was that somebody just attempted to have legislation pass to protect Bigfoot?

Yes?

Yeah, fucking didn't it go through.

I could have sworn something went through where they're like, yeah, do you find a big foot?

You were not allowed to shoot it.

Yeah, that's pretty much the case. Yeah, you cannot you can arm bigfoot. This is the This is only added to the growing curiosity obviously that the of the public. After all, if the country of Scotland was willing to write legislation to protect the creature, it must exist, right Obviously the investigation is the history of the creatures. Creature was launched and it was hypothesized that the creature was so large it wouldn't been able to escape history unnoticed,

And doesn't doesn't Lockness connect to the sea? Is there actual connectual? Is there not because I've heard conflicting story.

Yeah, well that's the same as me. I heard a couple of when I was doing my research. I had a couple of comments to the the Caledonia Canal which is the opening to the Law, and how there's no way a big creature could fit through it. But then when you hear things about the depths of the Law, which is seven hundred and fifty feet deep, which is double the size of not couldn't it just go down and go to the seabed and come up in the loch like to be I could ges stupid Coleman, But

You know, well, it is true because there is cave systems too and stuff underneath, like like you know, who knows if there's like this giant, gaping open hole that it has to fuck.

Well, I would assume like with most places that are like with the Great Legs stuff out here too, like it's not entirely mapped, Like I'm sure that there's probably like areas that they don't know shit about or I mean, I could be wrong on that but and if that's the case, then then you have an unknown and then any number of things you could you know, obviously we're all just waxing, you know, hypothetically here, but you could fill in any number of gaps with that if you

We're gonna get into that with Saint Colombo. I think is that that's kind of what we're talking about, right.

Yeah, five six five AD. I mean, I think they've just made a connection here. I don't know if it's I mean, because they don't talk about it. If you're going to get onto that that we can we can.

Rely onto it right now. So like obviously, when the historical investigation in the possibility of this beast began, it was found that the earlier the earliest reference to NeSSI may day back to the sixth sixth century a d. Which is pretty crazy. Well, obviously you have things like

But it could be true, right, Yeah.

This club here, it says that it's written records, that they've managed to go back to five six five AD and see that there was written records of And this is part I was gonna.

I know you guys all love this. But they say that it was a kelpie.

This is kelpie folklore, yes, and that kelpie or water kelpie is a shape shifting spirit inhabiting the locks in the scott In Scottish folklore, it is usually described as a black horse like creature able to adopt human form. Some accounts state that the kelp retains its hoos well when appearing as a human, leading to the association with the Christian idea of sayting, as alluded to by Robbie Burns.

Robert Burns, I'm sure you've heard of him, the famous Scottish poet.

He had a poem called the Address to the Devil, and that is like kind of talking about the kelpie. But the in my own words, I heard a few accounts and it was saying that what the.

Kelp does is shape shifts into like a horse, so.

That if people go down and maybe entice to jump onto the horse's back, then they find that they are stuck to this kelpie and the kelpie then runs off into the water and comment, Yeah, So I when I hear things like this, I think it's almost like to warn children off from playing about the war and knights. Maybe I think those are the type of things that you would hear your I mean, it sounds dark if your if your parents are telling you stories about you're like, well, questioning your parents.

But I hear stories.

I got quite a lot, and I'm like, that's probably where they've grown arms and legs.

You have time, there have been a little stories that you'll tell your kids.

To keep them safe, and then they've grown arms and legs, and now we're looking at a kelpie.

Or Yeah, I can't wait to be a father and be like, you know what, Jimmy, if you don't be careful, the fucking reptilians are gonna come eat you.

None of them are nearly as bad as like most of the German folk tales. Oh that was a little boy who didn't teach all of his crowd. And then it's in the night the crowd fairy came and cut off his sons. Go to bed now, heinrich go to.

Bed is true like Jesus Christ. So that's gonna Saint Columba the Irish monks. Saint Columbo's traveling with his followers when they happened to pass by the river nests seeing locals bearing a man. It's like his gaping wide asshole from being raped by NeSSI. I don't know why every time we're getting a crypted, it's always in the brain. He questioned them. He questioned them as to what happened.

Know, you know, you know my idea on mermaids man, it was just a bunch of dudes on a ship that got tired to blowing each other and they they saw a manite They're.

Like, I'm gonna go fuck that.

Or they're hallucinating on fucking who knows what kind of drugs they were taking back then.

So that or they just got scurvy, so they're you know, they're they're baked from the sun, they're super dehydrated, and they've ben drinking rum for you know, six months straight, and it's like, yo, I can go fuck that.

That that creature that is out there right now, it's like that's that's that's a man. That's he do don't don't do that. That's a man.

Like it changed into a beautiful mermaid just like no, it didn't.

Male pirates got married to each other's fun times. M h his friends nearby, Uh, his friends nearby rushed out to the boat to try and save him. By time

Okay, he didn't even throw in the name of Genus Christo in there.

Yeah, the own beast. It is weird that he like.

They they halfway through the beast didn't attempt to attack his home. And then he's like, no, no, no, no, my fingers made into a cross. Will definitely make sure you don't get to tell.

What was the Bill Hicks joke where he's like and yay, Jesus's disciples didn't see the bronosaurus and Jesus said, get out, here's a big brown cut.

You're ruine of my story.

That's true.

So those who were watching claim that the creature drew back as it was pulled, pulled by chains or ropes, and retreated as if it was like kind of just like kutas what went backwards into the into the darkness of the lake. Everyone there took the event as a sign from God, and then the townspeople thank Saint Columba for his great service to them, and that's why it became a saint. Probably. There are some who claim the link between Saint Columba and Lochness monster is we get best.

Okay, Yeah.

The reason I was curious about that is because I was wondering if if because you know, like we have Champy out here in Lake Champlagne.

I think, yeah, it's like a fucking Disney character.

It sounds like a Disney character, it really does, and I wouldn't I.

Wouldn't be shocked to know if Disney is gonna make a fucking Champion movie.

But yes, the same thing it's it's.

Supposed to be, you know, a crustacean from the Baileyo live the era, but we have the thing that was eighteen nineteen. So I was wondering if it was just like if these things, you know, coroborated with one another, like the sightings started around the same time, or if they were a couple hundred years apart.

But it sounds like.

It's just something that's always been in the collective folklore of most people, especially people that are descended from you know, Europeans, as well.

Yeah, yeah, so you you have you ardered it CHAMPI have you heard oga Poga? That's our lockness. It's a it's a Native monster. It's called Oga Poga. So we thought Champion was a ridiculous name. I can't make fun of Indigenous people or someone's gonna get mad about.

Well shit, yeah, you always make fun of Indigenous people. I had lots of friends that were Native.

Picture of my great grandfather. They're down off the wall again. If I need to give you your pass, it's a fucking joke. I have lots of Indigenous friends.

I was just referring to the Shadow People episode where I real listened to reously and all we said was the guy was name, like who's his name? Gray, Gray Wolf or something like that. It just it was a fucking joke, people, Calm down.

I just loved when we did our our monsters at the Western Door. How even though you and I essentially live in the same region, all be at two different countries, you have the hardest time pronouncing the name of indigenous sounding very true, very true.

How do you not know how to say saka joia? You son of a bitch?

The only one that's finging in my mind.

I don't know. Is the Mexican one the White's gonna kill me for forgetting the name of the dog.

The Cubicabra Cuba Cabra Camera.

That's one one. That's the one version of the cryptid we all chose to be a crypted and one is the cup of Kabra because he's Puerto Rican, so it makes sense.

I got the flatwood Monster, Tom got Mothman, Billy got Sasquad because Billy's a big goofy son of a bitch.

Love you, Billy, but it's it's uh, it's it's skinny bigfoot it. We're gonna have probably two versions of that for all the fans.

I have.

We have two versions where Anton's buddy is creating words. It's what's that style again? It's like retro retro style. It's pretty cool.

It's it's almost psychedelic style, but more flowery hippie bullshits and it's kind of cool.

And then we have a lot of.

As a bunch of as our signatures too. That's coming out soon for all the fans. But then down the road, I have discussed if Billy like if if Izzy can do it because Izzy is a good artist. Billy's woman if she can do it, I said, Or we'll go to tront again for like the same logo kind of thing, but have us all full body cryptids. So we'll have two versions of it, which will be kind of cool, and then eventually maybe have us all as uh, fucking serial killers. Because I think that.

I got that Mindcember, I'm gonna make Billy.

I'm gonna make Billy. No, I was like Ted Bunny would be. He would probably like that. Billy's either rich or AMers. I'm gonna make Hm Jeffrey.

I want Carl actually fuck fuck bumble, but I want to be Pandram. Billy loves Richard of Whiskey Insnomy.

All right, quickly before getting the next sighting, Ian, what's your favorite serial killer?

Um, I would go with the doctor Shipman.

Oh, Harold Shipman Yeah, Erald Shipman.

Yeah.

I guess he's.

Just sneaky, sneaky man.

That is sneaky.

Sod Mackenzie sighting This is the most was in eighteen seventy one. In October eighteen seventy one, d mackenzie. His first name is Dick. I don't know that for a fact.

Doug McKenzie, Yeah, mackenzie Brothers is one.

Of the McKenzie brothers back in the day, and he fucking have you seen Strange brew Ian? What do you mean the movie straight? You've seen it?

Right fucking good.

I was like, I hope you have one of my favorite movies of all time coming out on the Patreon very soon on a rare review. But d McKenzie claimed that he's seen an object in Lockedness that he first assumed was a log or an upturned boat. However, as he continued to watch this mysterious object, it disappeared into the water with an alarming speed that could only be a living creature. Many believers like to point out that

I swear the fucking got as.

You have to remember as well, see when when after that nineteen thirty three Spicer thing I think news newspapers and also other places started giving rewards for any sightings or any thing.

So then that's when you.

Know he's fame to a place too. Like that's how you bring tours minute stuff like that is like kind of if you have like something that is so prevalent in your history, something like that, you're just like, you know, it brings in tourists for people like, oh cool, I want to go see this this historical location, you know, and it kind of brings like, let's say you get tourism in here. We don't really have any tourism. We just bring all the refugees here.

Dude.

Point Pleasant, West Virginia has been living high on the hog off the Mothman shit since since it started.

So yeah, I would love to go to the Mothman fucking this festival. I would love to go if I can ever be let across my border.

Fuck you Trudeau.

So I'm trying to plan a Northeast Cryptian tour essentially, where we go we start up here and then we go down to the pine barrens in New Jersey and we go to Point Pleasant, then we go to flat Woods and.

Aught the book up an entire week. But uh, the conservatives over here are really pushing for them to end the federal mandates because we can go to a hockey game with thousands of people, but no, I can't cross the border into the States or walk across the fucking Allys do with the Mexicans.

Do I'll hop the boarder.

I've been telling you to do that since this shit started, so we could fucking hang out.

Man, So let's get in the Spicer. You know, the first sighting that was caught on camera, I think essentially is obviously the first sighting is alleged from George Spiser and his wife came face to face with the Locknest Monster while driving on a newly upgraded road that went by the lake on July twenty second, nineteen thirty three. The reports of the creature was published in the newspaper

Did also say that George Space on his wife for tripping big time on mushrooms that day.

Oh man, my favorite. You have you've you have you've dabbled in psychedelics, have you or not yet?

No? I am openly admitted to I'd love to try mushrooms.

Right yeah, yeah, you're able to get him over there. Like I was talking to, uh, the dude from First Class Horror Aaron. I was joking how his name is Aaron and you're Ian and you're scott He's Irish and you're Scottish Ian Aaron, and he was talking about how

Have you ever yet, again with the Bill Hicks joke, if you think you can fly, try taking off from the ground first. When do you see ducks lining up to take an elevator south for the winter?

That's true, That's hilarious, like that bit, Tom.

So have you ever had full blown hallucinations on mushrooms? Not yet?

I haven't gotten that high.

Yeah, just because it doesn't come unless you take a massive fucking quantity and you.

Close your eyes.

I know That's what I'm gonna start doing. Like my, I still have seven grams left, so my I've been doing like a gram or two. No, no, no, I'm thinking of doing like four and then like and then gonna.

You're gonna go four.

Take the Terrence McKenna heroic phoughst just take five, shut off all.

The lights, close your eyes and go see God.

Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna confront myself I'm gonna beat myself up in my own head like you fucking egotistical bastard.

You need you need Iahwasca to murder that even I know.

So let's get into the Hugh Gray's photo. In nineteen thirty three, who Gray supposed to be, took a photo of Lockness Monster and was essentially and helping to make NeSSI one of the most popular cryptids in modern day. That's very true, he is, and this is the photo it. He claimed that it was taken on November twelfth, nineteen thirty three. There is issues with the image. From the start. It was a bit blurry, and many people noted that it almost looked like the head of a dog if

I see it coming out of the war with a stick in its mouth, gave the big nose above the stack.

Yeah, that you mentioned it is.

It is strange and obviously it's it's you know, if you're on the YouTube, you can definitely see that this is a very blurry photo. You can't tell shit from what that thing is. And uh, this went a long way in crediting the image because it was known to be supposed to be a walking dog when he had taken the picture. They say it walking dog. There's people that have like analyzed the image and saying that's the way he shot the film. It was like it's dog

That seems like the most reasonable, Like that could very well just be the Yeah, the dog in the water with just its head above and the stick.

In his mouth. I could I could totally see that.

Oh yeah, I forgot. This is Saint Columba be gone nessy.

So funny you always do you think that was just another weird way of them saying that they they drove you know, the pagans out. Yeah, that could any way with Saint Patrick and the snakes and what have you.

He looks like he's a devil for a little bit.

He looks a Roman salute you goober. But he's weren't around yet, just like I'm gonna make this big, remember it would be, and he did. He did look at the Buddhist symbol for the swastika. The swastika is literally like a symbol of like peace and love and shit.

It's like, yeah, he.

Didn't invent it, like a true artist. He's like, I like that, that's reverse.

It's kind now I tilted it. I tilted it selty degrees. It's mine now I made that pure. It's come from me, from my mind because I'm smart.

Smart, I totally see where you're going with there, because I noticed on myself a lot of these things are like metaphorical. I see the Bible a lot of these stories like Noah and the Ark because the flood, there's like a metaphor for like COVID or World War two, you know, deppopulation, you know whatever.

Like so when you it's a good that's a good observation.

When I make when I make videos on TikTok about the government, a lot of religious people come out the woodwork and be like it doesn't matter. Jesus already won, And I'm like, but did he did he?

Really?

I was like, just shown up yet and it's getting really fucking bad. And if you're religious, I got nothing against you. I just I just don't subscribe to any religion because I think it's a divide and conquer to old by them of the fucking people in power.

It's my opinion the old the old line from the Devil makes three song. They say that Jesus coming must be walking.

Sure he running.

So Arthur Grant hits locked Has Monster. This is pretty fuck and one of the most curious sightings. Arthur Grant claimed to have literally ran into the lock Nest Monster on his motorcycle on January.

You're gonna say, just punched it right in the face. Fuck you.

Well throw out to another Cryptid episode because it's just weird that black eyed children are technically and that mentioned as like cryptid so to speak, change, aren't they.

Yeah, they're associated with like the changeling and the fairies and kind of.

But this demons is a vampire maybe. And one story that me and Billy covered a kid punched black eyed kid in the face. He was like, get away from me. He fucking clucked this.

I mean, technically, if you punch a kid in the face, they become a black eyed child.

Yeah, okay, so it's pretty funny. So he like this really weird is riding his motorcycle and it was about one am on a moonlit night, and Grant claimed to have seen the neck of the beast and when he when he asked to sketch and described this creature, said it was something like a cross between a seat and a pleasant soura.

A pleasant say is this? Does this dude look like some fucking Fantastic four superhero with like a metal face?

He does, I'm gonna run you down?

And this, I'm pretty sure this is his sketch.

I want that as a wood carving on my wall somewhere. That's fantastic.

That is pretty fun. Just look up the Arthur Grint hits a hit some monster. You'll be able to see it. If you're an audio listener. We're just doing you know, and and yeah for the people on the audio, obviously, we know that people consume our content audiobly more often. But that's we look up these things. If we're mentioning the pictures, you can easily while you're just listening to on your phone or whatever, just look it up and

So who knows.

He was so intrigued with the creature that he got off his bike to follow in the wa but not quick enough, only saw the ripples that were left by.

It was like, hey, hey, come back, Hey hey, I want to be a friend. You need to exchange information. You hit my bike.

Yeah, So have you ever have you ever heard of this tale? Is that one that like when you were looking at that was.

One I didn't encounter.

But then as I'm seeing the picture as well, it's kind of ringing bells. But the plesiosaur, I've got that written down, but I don't know which part of the which sighting it mentioned that. And but I don't know about you guys. I'm not a believer in dinosaurs at.

All, and you're one of those man.

I wouldn't I wouldn't be surprised if you looked up pleasy. So that's just one tip I'll give you. I've got the up on my phone etomology, and I bet if you typed in plesio or even plesio, so it'll come up.

With something that will be kind of They do that a lot.

So let me get in.

Let me get into something for real quickly. When I was me and my buddy Chance working in a restaurant. We had chili fest. Right, we're done by three, we drank. This is a bad story because we end up. He ended up driving drunk home. Chelsea didn't know where I was. I was in responsive because we were having so much fun.

We had to like, could have left that part up?

Yeah, and yeah it was it was years ago, but Chance was one hundred percent drunk. Don't know how I made it home. I was drunk and I could see him just swerve it on the road as we were fucking drived about twenty minutes, so it was very sketchy,

Again, it's it's not something i'm farm on or I've done much research into, So don't take it.

You know, you'll probably know more than me.

But from the little pieces of information that I've picked up over the years, to me, it's a dinosaur. I was created, and is it the eighteen hundreds and all these bones that get traveled around the world are not real. They're actually three D printed or they're made up of like chicken bone. And if you look back at the very first ever dinosaur, it's called something hilarious. It's like it's called the word cock or it's a word.

For because it probably look like a bird.

What do you think to me?

That's a free Masonic thing as well? Everything of roles are on the fallst like the statues that they I mean, that's that's all the way back to the secret schools.

If we're going into the I means definitely stole a good chunk of their ship from you know, Greek and Egyptian.

Mythology as well. And do you believe in dinosaurated? Do I believe? I?

Look, I don't necessarily believe in anything, as you well know. I definitely see the controversy surrounding it, with the bone wars and everything that went on with that, and the fact that we've allegedly never found a complete skeleton of anything ever together.

So I would say there's definitely some hokey ship there. But do you believe it?

Right now?

I like to.

I'm not fucking touched.

Have to have some sort of safe face in this community if I.

Ever hope to get laid again. So just totally derailed me, you piece of shit.

No, I I think it's probable that there are. I think we've found enough shit to be like, okay, this is this is interesting, and there are definitely the bones that are passed around are not the actual bones.

But from my.

Understanding of that, the reason that is is because they're not actually as hard as everyone says they are.

And then we have them all locked up somewhere and what have you.

But I think a lot of our questions would be answered if we all just fuck storming Area fifty one. Let's storm the fucking Vatican. Let's get into that basement and find that shit, because.

We'll have a lot of questions. There's so much they wear.

A good chunk of the lost books from the Library of Alexandria are there. Yes, we're gonna find out the truth of the Knights Templar. I mean, yesterday was Frida of the thirteenth, So we'll.

Eventually get into that because we've talked about the Knights Templar and stuff like that. But eventually I do want to get into the Vatican. It's going to be a lot of pedophile jokes, but that's just the way who goes. But no, I just there is a lot of hidden shit, and who knows what we're actually being told is correct. But I think the Reptilians wiped out the fucking their dinosaur, I guess because they would being connected to them so that we could evolve and they can enslave us.

I think it was Atlantis, And I think when whatever reactor that Atlantis was running wilf and destroyed the fucking place, that's what wiped out life pretty much everywhere else.

Sun Ben hypothesis. So the infamous surgeons photograph in nineteen thirty four, perhaps the most famous of all Locknest's monster photographs, is the one that everyone has seen where it's the lockness poking its head of the water. The most infamous photo of all time, and it was taken in nineteen thirty four by Robert Kenneth Wilson and was published in The Daily Mail on April twenty first, nineteen thirty four.

Supposedly, you think this was just a bored dude with PTSD from World War One that has seen some horrible shit and had to do a whole bunch of field surgery and was just like, I'm gonna go make everyone think that there's a fucking dinosaur and that's really fun with him because I don't know what to do with myself.

Well, as they say, at first glance, uh, you know, the image seems to be legit.

Uh.

The crop virgin, which was printed in the newspaper, made the monster seem enormous and the ripples in the water appear to be large waves. However, when uncropped the image with the uncropped image was study of years later, there was there were details that didn't seem to add up. Eventually, the picture was deemed as a hoax, a scheme cooked up by by Christian Splurring Christian Splurring and his friends as revenge against the Daily Mail, who happened to be his employer.

Pretty pretty weird.

It looks a little like the guy that does the sprinkling of the Sultan paper.

Yeah, yeah it does.

Actually, that's actually really fun.

Somebody needs to make a meme of that of the loch ness Monster doing the salt may just like I'm sure just salt in his dinner.

And so it's funny. Spurling has reportedly reported to find Nassy's footprints that were later deemed as faked. So he and his friends crafted a toy model that could be used to simulate NeSSI and then took pictures. It just man, it's the most famous photo. But man, it does look very shady like. It doesn't. It doesn't really, It looks tiny. I know it's supposed to be in this massive body of water, but it looks like a toy, just something

Yeah, I've got a bit more todd than that.

Duke Weatherall he was hired by the Daily Mail in the nineteenth thirties to investigate and he found what he thought was the Nessi's footprint, and it was later to be found that it was actually a hippopotamus's footprint, so.

He was very embodied. It was zoologist obviously.

Said no, that's a hippopotamus, and it was it was debunked, and he was very embodied. Away with his tail between his legs, and his sons were involved in that foot that you've just popped. They are the surgeon's full His sons and him along with the surgeon, conspired to build the model. They put it in the water, and they got the surgeon to take the photo or that guy was it starling you said? Someone else took the photo

He liked to do.

Things like that, so that's probably why he didn't want his name on the picture.

Hip hop anonymous sense is.

That the one where they took me, they had like a taxi dermied ash tray that was a hippo's foot and they used.

That to make the footprints or what have you.

I'm not too sure that one was one of the videos.

That I watch where they were talking about the surgeon footage and they basically just made like a little toy submarine on the rope with the nasty thing, like what about the ribbles? He just picks up a stone. He's like, there, you go take a picture.

So on May twenty ninth, nineteen thirty eight tourists named name of G. E. Taylor took a film of what he believed to be Luckness Monster film Lucknoss Monster. The film was in color. It had three minutes of recorded footage on a six millimeter film. The film was sold to Maurice Barton, a popular science writer, and was shared

Isn't that bullskin off to the right, Yes? Wait is it?

I thought that was at least part of bullsk because I know.

Bullskin's right on the lock ball skin. Why is it bullskin? Because it's Crowley. Of course, it's something to do with balls, fucking Crowley.

So I have the promising sonar readings and this is in December nineteen fifty four. Is that the one that you have ian the nineteen fifty four one.

I think so it could be too say yeah.

No no, if well yeah, if you want to get into this is very short, but essentially December nineteen fifty four, the crew of the Rival three took sonar readings that found a large object keeping pace with their boat from a depth of nearly five hundred feet and it was detected for eight hundred meters before the contact of the object was lost. Though this was never proven to be Lockness Monster, it's supposed to be a valuable piece of evidence that has come to light.

No, the sonar ones off is in the nineteen seventies.

Okay, so yeah, we're getting We're getting up to the nineteen seventies very soon. We're now in the sixties. And the nineteen sixties, Tim Disdale filmed a hump in the Lochness that was a large wake behind it. The Disdale was an aeronautical aeronautical engineer. Is that is that whether you fucking dive down into the water and go for a swim.

The Disdale from Doug Dimmidale to.

Madelondale engineer or poorly taken footage on his last day of searching for an sc He said the object appeared to be reddish in color with blotches on its side, and produced fifty foot fifty forty feet of film that he claimed could prove the existence of Lockness Monster. Ever, when the image was enhanced, enhanced, enhanced, it could be seen as maybe it was a hump of a boat.

So, staying in the nineteen sixties and staying on the topic of film, I know we briefly touched on it before, and I'll bring my screen up. So there was a there was a model made for a nineteen sixty nine Sherlock home movie starring Robert Stevens and Christopher Lee. That's sunk in the lock and uh and some years later somebody ran a radar through the water and we're like, we found the corpse of NeSSI. We found we found a dead one. And I'll do my screenshats. You guys can see these images.

That's a lot that's Nessy.

So this is the underwater robot detected survey.

So then there's the body and then there's the head. If you go up you'll see that was.

An image from the movie.

He was a Sherlock home of one and yeah. So they found what.

They thought was, you know, a Nessy carcass, and there's another another scan of it, and then they realized they're like, nope, it's just this prop that's sunk in nineteen sixty nine.

Oh is that thing about Claus Schwab where financial plan from Schwab.

Oh No, it's not.

Charles Schwab, which I always wonder if that's connected to Klaus Schwab, the Charles Schwab in finance institution or whatever.

Probably it's like that's my son.

Yeah, and then here's here's another computer generated.

Image and what have you. I don't know about that one.

Who's that old?

Fuck?

The strange case of Luck. Christopher Lee, Oh yeah it is.

Christopher Lee was a bad motherfucker too. I'd lovely an episode on him for famous Ed.

We could do that because he was a vampire. No, Christopher Lee was was a Nazi hunter. Here's a vampire too, so he.

Was Dracula in the Hammer films.

Yeah, I love Hammer, all right, It's fucking all right.

So Tom's way of saying he loves Giant.

The Honey Games were so much misleading and unreliable evidence. Scripted hunters and fans of NeSSI took to Luck and several attempts to prove the existence of the creature once and for all, although there has never been enough evidence for any of these expeditions to prove the existence of NeSSI. Uh maybe who knows, but they keep searching. If you're in England, you'll find out that Scotland may have had uh, they know they had. The monster will bring them fame

Ye.

David Clark, author of Britain's Extraordinary Files with a Big X, uncovered documents detailing the sinister plot.

In his research.

It was evident in nineteen thirty four that the London and that had many MP's as well as prominent and powerful people such as naturalists Sir Peter Scott who believed Scott in the Lochness Monster and wanted it for England. And this, you know, this includes management of the Natural History History Museum. A letter from unnamed official gave these specific instructions to any English hunter or fisherman who might see NeSSI. Should you come across or ever see the

I mean the English have been fucking murdering and stealing artifacts since the British Museum existed. Lest we forget everything that came out of Cairo in Egypt and ship So they.

Shut off the nose of the fucking Sphinx because they thought I resemble a black man.

I want to dum a bunch of dumb cunts. So have you heard about that? Have you heard about that? The English fuck over everyone? Yeah?

Yeah, have you heard about that? You never heard about like them, like the English trying to essentially take NeSSI and hunt for him or her.

I've never never heard of that.

But even in my research, and I didn't come across what years was that the sixties?

Yeah, it was like when they it came kind of out, but supposed to be in the thirties is when the when they got wind of Lockness that the English were like, you know what, we're gonna We're we're gonna take that too.

Yeah.

All I can picture is the Hunter from Jumanji being the person I.

Know it's I'm going to get that NeSSI generlive.

So in nineteen sixty seven, D. Gordon Tucker volunteered his services as a sonar developer as a part of a larger movement that was being conducted by the l NPIB. He fixed a large sonar transducer under the water and hopes to finding proof of Locknest Monster. During a two week trial, several targets were identified. At least one has been discredited as a large shoal or fish shoal of fish? Is that like a big group of fish? School it says it's.

S h o a lal of fish?

Interesting?

But other move that's speed just another word for school of fish? Is that just like a large group of fish? Or is it different.

Scottish word for it? Our own words for pretty much everything?

Fair enough?

The others moved at the speeds about the ten knots and did not appear to be any fish or any other a quatic life form in the area.

Strange string. I wonder where that fish did go.

So if you want to get into the the nineteen seventies.

Well that stuff leads into it's the same as an organization called aas Design sonar and camera technology that would alert them and a picture anything passing through the beams. And in nineteen seventy two, two years later, a large ink block showed up on these echo trace printers, which were then taken and analyzed. And the pictures are quite crazy.

Yeah, I've heard about that too.

Yeah, but the head, it does look like a goggle ahead.

Goggles are also a symbol of the reptilians watching over us.

Yeah makes sense.

Yeah, So yeah, that's where there's a lot of weird sonar shit. And I have I have one more thing about an Operation Deep Scan. So if you guys have anything else, to mention it, because then we're going to talk about maybe the origins and what NeSSI could be to bring it to a close, so to speak. So if you guys have anything, bring it up, talk about it.

Because you guys want a big marketed to that sea that that's seen in.

Brave Heart, where they are they're ready to go at each other and then they just stop like four inchould the way for each other and everyone hugs and then they turn on the.

English for the fairies. Had you do you did you hear a lot of folklorees about fairies when you were a kid or anything like that.

Or no, no, that's what I'm saying.

Is that not an English thing like with the leprecns and fades.

Yes, it also connects to Scotland too, which is.

What I believe it was like Welsh and supposed toly like just that area, but I don't. I'm fairly ignorant on the the interconnectivity of all three of those areas, you know, like the the British Isles and what have you for lack.

Of You guys have a lot of folklore, and that's would be interesting that you're Scottish and don't know about half of it, so it would be funny to cover also, like more Scottish cryptids, paranormal stuff to do with that. Fairies. There's such a big there's so many things about fairies, and at your neck of the woods across the pond, it's very there's a lot of things to do with fairies. We more have like skin walkers and shape shifting indigenous

And stuff like that.

It goes pretty deep with a lot of the weird folklore shit. Yeah, speaking of deep, we're gonna talk about Alister Crowley's butthole for a sec.

To Crowley's butthole come into me. See unsheathed your wand so we does a want have a sheath? So okay, here's a fun fact that I learned.

You know, why vagina's a fucked up word is because vagina is actually a sheath for a sword. What that's Yeah, so apparently that's that's why it's one of the derogatory terms you can use.

For you know, a bulba and the whole the whole.

Setup is because it's basically just saying it serves one purpose, and that's to have a sword put into it.

Oh that's fucking funny. What I me and Aaron we're talking about ship?

Uh?

Do you guy out if you guys do the same slang? I don't know if it's different and stuff like that. But he was very much strange ones because we did an episode to explain where Wan went. And uh, I guess in Ireland, wand is almost like a slut like that wand over there, Like it's like a girl, like a kind of slutty girl or a girl you want to get with type of shit. Okay, do you have ever heard of that?

How do you spell it?

He said? They spell it? What w A n like that? Wand over there?

How the the Irish say having the crack and and here it means you have a severe substance to be his problem, but out there because you're just having a good time.

I would love that.

On the names for vaginas heard with this one recently, the beaver is actually because way way way back in time, when women maybe got hair lice in their nether regions, they would have to shave off and then because they were cold, they would skin a beaver and where that is like you know warm.

Oh my god, Yeah, I feel like I heard that. I want that to be true. That's fantastic.

I think it's true that there's a guy on being who I frequent a lot. It's a it's an op for listening to podcast but a lot of live shows. And his name is Beaver, and everyone said, why Beaver, what'd you like Beaver? And he's like telling us all this interesting fought about the beaver and also did you know and told that story.

We use beaver's as chainsaws in Canada, we just hold that's what we take down trees.

And they also ride moose instead of drive in Kara.

All right, let's talk about fucking the deepest buttthole ever.

So uh.

In nineteen thirty three, Crowley was asked to write ah an article for Empire News in the UK about Lockedness and this comes from Mysterious Universe.

The article is as follows.

I have been very intrigued by the recent stories concerning the appearance of some baarsome monster about thirty feet long, and I want it inside of me with ever with eyes reported to be like the headlights of a motor car, which is alleged to lurk in the depths of Lockness.

I g A I G How the fuck would I say that?

Inverfaria, thank you, Inverfarier and Foyer fy r s fo foyer. Yes, I say notorious, because long before I purchased the manner, it was already the place around which a score of legends had been woven, all of them of a mysterious nature. Thus the head of old Lord Lovot, who was beheaded after the forty five, was believed to roll up and down the corridor as a rambling old place.

There was another legend that a.

Lunatic had murdered his mother by smashing her brains out against the walls, and that she returned at times to pick them up again.

Seas alone have sufficed to.

Give Bolskin an evil reputation, and my own experiences there by no means diminished that evil reputation. Crowley continued to say, So you will appreciate my interest in the latest story of loch Ness, about which there have been so many speculations. I noticed that the monster has been seen by a

Oh yeah, it might be from hollow Earth bro.

It could be Others that it is some mysterious monster from the deep which has made its way to the lock from which you cannot now escape. I know not, and I only know that at the time I have known, locked ness has always been regarded by those living in the vicinity as the luck which never gives up its dead. Divers who have gone down as far as two hundred feet have told of huge fissures and holes in the bottom of the lake, whilst the deepest sounding yielded over

And it's not just because of the heroin in Mescute.

It is weird and like, eventually I want to talk like back and go back into you know, maybe mysteries of the depth and the deep inside, because I think about it, well, we want to travel the fucking space. We want to fucking you know, we want to go to Mars with Elon fucking mask the fucking savior of these idiots, and uh, you know, in this we don't even explored half the ship in the fucking water. Also, not to disparage my tru I don't fucking trust. I'm

I don't trust anyone, dude. Why would you? Why would you trust somebody that's made that far in society.

Well, people like that, and it's like people are pointing out, like especially fucking religious people, that he might be the Antichrist because obviously any Christ comes as like uh uh, you know, charming individual, and he wants to put the neural link inside your brain, which could be the mark of the beast. But now it's just like the whole thing about Oh well, he's saying out the Chinese are so great because how long they work.

And it kissed me the off.

And and also the fact that he's like, how much money will it take to like feed the world? They're like, oh whatever, ninety billion dollars And then he bought fucking Twitter.

He's temporarily purchase Twitter. He doesn't actually have it yet. They put a hiring freeze on. This is not relevant to what we're talking about, but he put a hiring for they put a hiring freeze on. I think they shit canned a couple of top executives that we're willing.

To support him. So there's a whole big thing with that.

But I mean that very well could just be the Hollywood theater to distract us from the fact that there are food plants burning down and you know, everything else that's going on right now.

Pretty so.

And then there's the uh, the Elon Musk amber Herd connection too, which is fucking you haven't seen that.

I guess the Musk and Herd.

Dated and there's a bunch of pictures of him walking around covered in bruises.

She has a fucking psycho. She is fucking full blown reptilian.

I don't know.

I'm saying, Oh, she's not that good of an actress, so I doubt she's playing anything. But can we talk about somebody doing a key bump on the fucking stand That was glorious?

What you didn't see that image.

Where she like takes the fucking thing up and she's like.

Blowing her nose and everyone's like it was just not rocket.

I'm like, look, I know what it looks like when someone does cocaine. Do you think that she was doing Ya's Oh, I think she was doing a bump.

It's what it looks like. Yeah, she could get in in there. I guess they're not searching her like.

She just like.

Cocaine doesn't go off in a fucking metal detector.

Tom, that is really weird, man.

You don't even know what kindechnology the the tissue itself was made of cocaine.

You just don't know.

Well, that was the old way they used to smuggle, is they would make cocaine into like a textile and they would build shit out of it, and then like there you go, like in Cheech.

And Chong a little bit of water and she's like cheat and song the whole fucking Van's Man had of fucking wheat.

They don't really realize that the quality shit.

So the origins of NeSSI with obviously so many contradicting claims, it is doubtful we'll ever know the truth. You know, what actually caused the first sightings and these many settings. Is it human imagination or NeSSI yourself. However, there are many in several theories. What could be you know, the strange? What could be these strange things? What is this strange monster in Lockness? Obviously we talked about the kelpies. That's obviously that's just another paranormal style creature.

Is it an eel?

Perhaps you know they're eel because eels are known to supposed to be inhabit the Lockedness. That makes sense that a giant eel could have been the cause of the Lochness monster sightings. Many you know, proposed that it could have been this creature that was responsible for leaving wakes in the water and confusing tourists. Whoever, there are many who doubt this theory. Eels are known to move from side to side, similar to the manner and which snakes move.

Who knows, if you've heard the swimming elephant theory right what it was an elephant? So where's the only only find the thing.

That strong East Indian guys just riding the fucking elephant into the water.

So the Bertram Mills circus theory, this theory implies that NeSSI, the Lochness monster, is in fact the trunk of a swimming elephant. Theory came to light when it was discovered that Bertram Mills, the circus director at the time, was bathing his elephants in locknest during his tours.

I could see it, Yeah, I could see it.

Then there's the whole sturgeon theory, which isn't like, you know, the surgeon theory or anything like that, but the sturgeons for a lot of the sightings where people are you know, trying to go to c NeSSI and they see a lake surgeon, which is, you know, a dinosaur in and of itself in the locker.

And there like there it is, it's moving, and it's like.

You don't even have a basic understanding of you know, natural biology or any sort of fucking fish apparently because you're just a gaulking tourist.

Yeah, that's true.

So in twenty thirteen, Jeremy Wade of River Monsters TV show theorized that the Lochness monster may simply be a greenland shark that found its way into fresh water. It's possible because they can eventually adapt if they need to, but it is rare. This species of shark is known to be found in the North Atlantic Ocean, making it probable that it could may found its way to Scotland. It is known to be dark in color and can grow up to twenty feet in length, making it obviously

So you've heard the theory that it's an alien as well, right, because of the UFO sightings around.

That's what I was gonna say. There's also which I was gonna mention, UFO sightings. That's what I'm saying. We could eventually dive back into Lockness, and there is many UFO sightings around Lockness. That's what it'd be kind of cool if they some I don't know if there is, but if there's like a camping ground where you could go camp near Lockness and then you know, bring out your phone or like try to seeving it footage just chill, you know, smoke up and look at the sky and

There are way to make conta.

The existence of a different monster. Let's just get this quick. Just obviously, those who theorize the Locknest Monster could be the name of another Scottish monster, the Kelpie the water horse a monster has a similar mo to NeSSI, making some wonder at the Lockedest monster could be developed based on you know, the telling of old legends. Studies of the Kelpie lore indicate that Lockness is one of the

What's the big one? Give me a Komodo dragon dragon? Yeah, the beard of dragons and those adorable little spiky buckers.

I know. I Uh. Billy's buddy Alex had one and his name was uh, what was his fucking name? Is the stupidest name? Uh Dunks. I think it was like Dunks or something like that. And I'm like, why did you name your fucking uh Alex. That's been on actually a bunch of episodes of the podcast, and that's why we were able to say some stuff. But I'm not gonna say that because it's black. But uh. He also named his dog Gaspacho, which is a fucking soup.

It's cold soup.

Yeah, he named his dog after a cold soup. I was like, why the He's like, holl him spots and he's like, you know why. I was like, why did you name your fucking dog after a cold soup? But he's like I don't know. I'm like, man, you're fucking weird.

The cereal soup.

Yeah, So what do we think? Do you guys believe locked us exist? You know, obviously if you the the host heads out there, let us know wheneverything like that, like this will be on Ian show too, so like you know, you know, if if you're like, you know what, email any of us you know, or you know, shout out, like you know, go on the instagrams and we'll shout there out later. Yeah, t sweet whatever. Like you know, we're on Twitter too. I hate Twitter, so Anton runs it.

What do you think it would be if it does exist.

I think that it could be maybe something from hollow Earth. Like I do believe that there is We don't really explore explore the depths of the ocean. It could be something that deeps deeper than the ocean somehow got into luckness possibility, right, Who knows if it's from hollow Earth, because I do, I do believe it. I don't believe in fucking flat Earth, but I do believe the Earth could be hollow with the sun in the center is a possibility, and the earth actually revolves around a sun

I think that's that's probably pretty close to its entirely possible that this thing was just so left over from whatever, you know, prehistoric era. Very well, it's like, why isn't there a body? It's like, well, it's probably in a dangered species. They're very well, maybe just be caverns under there, and like many animals, it probably went and swam into that cavern when it knew it was close to the end of its life and just died there.

So it's not going to surface.

It's not going to come out, and unless you actually go down and find those caverns, you're never going to find the bones.

That's true, all right, what do you think?

I'm quite a pessimist on this stuff, so sorry to do in anyone's you know, But like I think, like with the Bigfoot and Lochness and aliens, to some degree, I think they would have shown themselves by now. Like lockness is probably not the cleverest of being, so wouldn't it just be like wandering out of the water all the time and be seen by now? You know?

That's the way I think. And I know it's not proof at all.

It's subjective, and aliens haven't shown up because we haven't raised our consciousness high enough because they think that we're just there's all the different theories, right, and aliens maybe show up, or like Bigfoot is an interventional creature and it's smarter than we understand, and that he kind of

I do like that stuff.

I've heard quite a bit about like frequencies and other dimensional kind of stuff, and I'm I'm you know, I'm not saying on board with it, by I'm open to I think it's it's a plausible exist Well.

John John Keel wrote the Eighth Tower, they guy that wrote the Malpman prophecies. Yeah, and the Eighth Tower is it introduces that idea that they're not actually extraterrestrial, but they're extra dimensional. Yes, that's why I think different, a different spectrum that we just can't perceive as humans.

That's why they're not traveling in light years. They're traveling through dimensions like portals too.

Essentially just traveling through terrorism and time or dimensional riffs or what have you.

Yeah, well, supposedly a weird one here, getting you get into what you're getting too, and the I'm gonna talk about a portal.

Very I was just going to say that there was a quote from one of the documentaries I watched this week on NeSSI, and it was just a random comment from the sky, but I wrote it down. I think it kind of sums up how I feel about it. Is we would all like to find a real life dragon, and as long as there are people looking at things they don't understand, that dragon will live. So it's like your your your love. We would love the idea of

So the idea of NeSSI, I'm not on board.

I don't believe in it, but I think that I think tourism as well, that you mentioned.

Earlier in the show, it brings in. I've got it down here.

It's like a million people travel to m Berness every year for NeSSI, and I trust me, guys, I've got no love to go there other than MESSI, like you, nobody would go there. It's it's it's a nice town, nice city, whatever, but it's not something you would go like. There's Glasgow, there's Edinburgh. There's much better places, and it's kind of out of the way. It's up in the Highlands. To me, I think it's it's a toctic that they've used through.

You know, you like it?

Do you like the movie Highlander? I've never seen it, but the thing is too like, Uh, if you ever go there, send us pictures and stuff like that. Obviously I would like to see, ye, I send us pictures of the old structures and all this stuff like that or whatever whatever's there. I would I would love to see pictures of it because, like I said, I would

Weird thet right that's called.

Yeah, that's it, and that's why this is leading into where we decided to recover Reptilia. And that one's gonna be a lot of fun because we're gonna have Anton and Billy and all, like, all three of us are gonna be on doing that one. And I'm obviously the one of the more believer in Anton and Billy more skeptical, and Billy is gonna chirt me a lot because he's heard me speak about the Reptilians since he was about sixteen and I was about probably nineteen.

It is pretty bad.

I do sometimes feel like when it's the three of us billion, I gang up on you and just call you stupid.

Yeah, that's happened. We stay it out of love. Of course, we're just like, Bro, you read one article.

Come on, I saw them, bro, shadow people exist and that I believe that was a Repetilian trying to fuck.

You people are not Reptilian shadow people as a whole.

Not in my opinion. I believe that they're the shadow people are just the fringes of what we see, like they're just they're masquerading and they hide and their shadows because they're in lower dimensional frequencies and they were trying to suck my soul out.

And that that's not what Tom wants them to suck.

No, like I said on the one one episodes, Ghost try to rape me when I was a kid. So let's uh so everyone's showed your stuff obviously, w w ash strangew podcast dot com. Subscribe to the Patreon. It's the best way of supporting us, and we are coming out a lot of content with a lot of stuff is coming, you know, for the people, you know, it's

Now now you don't want to, Okay, yeah, so.

Strange berd t TV. Also we're on Twitch right now. We usually stream to Twitch just for fun so people can catch the episodes. We've had a couple of people coming in and out, So what's up everybody, and uh yeah, Anton, shout out your ship and then Ian we'll top it off with you mentioning everything you need to get out, all your stuff, plug your ship because we'll have the the host heads come over to your end of the Neck of the Woods.

Get ahold of us on Twitter at Real Strange Crew, follow me on Instagram at HP Shovecraft, Twitch.

Invader Dagget Underscore ttv uh.

Go on and check out Reverend Kaijuice House of Trash that'll be out by the time this episode.

Airsiting the Bunch my solo show.

Yeah, Tom and I Wan and I did an episode on the Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.

Tom and I did an episode on street Trash. It's a movie.

Sometimes TV, sometimes always weird. Sometimes just random internet ship like we're gonna do the the Great Emu War of Australia soon with with Steve and my buddy Justin because I turned them both onto that rabbit hole.

And if you guys don't.

Know what that is, please do yourself a favor and go check out the war that Australia lost against the emuch It.

But I'm you everywhere you want to listen to podcasts, I'm pretty much on and got Twitter, on Instagram's the two main social media's.

It's underscore, M underscore you, underscore pod.

Spell that for people, because you know in Canada you is y oh you right, We would say it's.

Just like the sheep spelling e w E the end b A A hyphen r a M hyphen e w E. And my video versions are always up on YouTube and Bitch You. But although YouTube bond a few episodes, so go to Bitch You. I always promote Bitch You more because I've never had any problems with them there.

Yeah, I want to. I'm trying to, like, I don't know if we need to get on Bitch You. It just sucks. I lost the video version of our Freedom Convo webisode was taken down from YouTube for medical misinformation. Same with the freestyle I did and this is say that I was like, try, like, I'm starting to do the reels the shorts on YouTube because it does get

One works from home, he has the extra time, that's true.

Wish telegrams on my leg telegram.

Yeah, for conversations. Yeah, it's just hard, like you know, and we're trying to like we're trying to eventually do our own discord. Like it's so many fucking things that like eventually stretches us thin. So I started, I try to keep to a realm where the fans like only have a couple places they need to go. They don't need to go to a million different fucking things. And then it just gets all mucky and muddled. But you know, we love everybody out there, you know, go check out

I was obsessed with Crowley when I was a teenager.

I blame Aussie for it, but I have I have the fofth Tarot deck.

I have literally, I mean, like right next to me right now is the fucking the Book of Foth.

Yeah, so.

I also have a book of the Law and a bunch of other shit in my library. I'm not I don't, you know, believe in Crowley's ideas necessarily because I'm not into Satanism.

I think it's just too selfish.

Yeah it was when I was, when I was but a lad, but you know I've since grown up a bit.

Well, I like, I have a bunch I just I showed ante I got that huge book. It's like every of all Crowley's work and I've yet to get into it because I'm reading nineteen eighty four right now. But it's so thick that I'm like, where do I start?

Like white, I want you to know, reading of white staines for the fucking Patriot.

We'll do That'll do white stains for the Patreon. We'll start doing stuff like that. That would be fun for the Patriot. Actually, a good idea is to do certain readings from Crowley's book. But this thing is thick, like it's maybe I'll start with just reading white Stains for the thing, but it's this book is fucking massive, so it's going to take me a while to really get

Definitely I can. I also push the other show on because yeah, they'll kill me for that. I started a show about February time with a woman from California. She's a Democrat, she's black, I'm white, I'm from Scotland. I'm more conservative leanings who were completely opposet but we get on really well. So we started the show using meiling up, which is like stream Yards or Zoom where we invite guests on.

We're going to have you guys on there if you wish.

Yeah, I told you I want to jump on there and talk some politics.

I do.

I'll bring the queer argument to the tube game if you want.

Yeah. So far we've done like immigration, gun control, freedom of speech, and we're kind of.

What we're going to do abortion.

We're going to do like all the really hot topics and get people on from both sides. So those are live on a Saturday night UK time, eight o'clock. So I don't know what that is for you guys.

Five hour differences or something like that. Five hours.

We're Eastern standards, same time zone because we're about forty five minutes away from each other.

Yeah, So that show is called Friendly Differences Podcasts. And again same Facebook, YouTube, bitchoot and audio version, same as the same as where you can find me.

Yeah go check it out.

Are you on are you on Spotify as well?

Or yeah?

Yeah, So we publish our shows well and borrow you for is to anchor Anchor dot fm, and they published it to about five or six places like Spotify's one.

Cast Box is one, there's a few.

Yeah, cast Box is good.

Friendly Differences podcast yeah yeah, hell yeah.

I just gave it a follow.

Yeah, so we're going to be we're gonna be jumping on there for politics shit too, because you know, I you know, certain fans like it and certain fans don't like it. I've Billy told me one of a longtime listener doesn't like how much I mentioned Trudeau and it's just like, well he's fucking my life up. So it just gets brought up.

As the late great Mitch Hepberg said, you can't please all the people all the time, and last night all those people were at my show.

That's true.

Actually I had this written down, is all forgot to say. But this is kind of stuff I like to do because I'm leaning right. I like to poke fun at the cognitive dissonance or the leftist this bullshit. This happened, and there was actually a news show Looked American where they were talking about that. There was a seventeen page article written up and handed to the UK schools to not teach Nassy, to not teach the Lackiness monster to kids, because it taught kids that Scotland was very indigenous.

So it's like, yeah, yeah, it's insane.

It's crazy. The ship, the way the world's going, it's

Oh no, bro, even when you die, we're just going to continue making the show. But we're gonna just clip together like random bits and we're gonna make you completely reverse all of.

Your stances on everything. You're gonna become super pro vaccine. You're gonna like praise Trudeau every five minutes. You're like, you know what, He's the best fucking leader we've ever had.

Hopefully he's dead by then. Ah, so uh yeah, shut everything. Yeah, you know where to find us everything. Yeah, support us. The best way is the best way. So yeah, So there's a lot of stuff coming. I think me and Anton will probably very soon starts streaming some Evil Dead. It is a lot of fun. It is hard, but that game just came out and it's fun. Man. I've already had a little fun with that ship.

So yeah, and it was an absolute blast with some of you guys.

We'll definitely reconnect. There'll be a lot of things in the work so we appreciate you guys, and uh, you know, stay.

Strange, stay weird, fuckers, keep watching the sky and your TVs.

Shoot the DV.

I'd take a shot. I say my thoughts the way it's got. I should stay a lot in the padded room. My day is the last in the afternoon on my stays and my thoughts with that too, I lay in.

Rad It's sad too.

I've been the cass to attract.

You at the name of God because I'm him truck on fine chance, time a time again, I'm blind advice and one again. When the end is near, friends, tennis deer can run in there and listen, not fucking test the deer.

So a bit enough pleasurely you wicked strutch your efforts there, but it is not enough.

This is tough.

Fucknida to my mind that you got once you get sometimes U I hate what I thought.

My mind spucks. We stay lost.

There's no sight of us. We played God just like they're high and nuts hate their love. They just want to silence enough violence and test grew up tyrants start to shed their snake skin and fuck the royal family. I fucking hate them. There's no certainty when the children being taken and placed in no place that is in the safety stap still with wapist, they say, is got not a hand You didn't pay attention. I know about the plan we rolls things to inventions and the wealth of hologram.

It's all about the dollar man, is what they say.

And then they're destructive ways. They decide how much you're pay and start to play. I don't give up fucking what you say. I wish I could kill you, but your guts displayed to everyone sees what you're like.

On the other side.

Better blave by drinking, gain by.

I'm heavenly. I think God been a love a thousand times. We live and die, and so on and so forth. You being shot and run aft the closed doors, do the knowledge and stry to know more, and strive to know more,