Cult Of Cryptids: Jungle Boy Alien Abduction

Welcome to the cultop cryptis Strange ofcounters of frogs and lizards, dumb my nick children, DoD Man, Bigfoot, Mockman and all their victims. Murray, pictures captured by shot witness, ufloes breaking laws of physics, Pictures.

Of aliens carving the high rogue lyphics. This is a bizarre world that.

We live in. So sit back, relax, laugh.

And listen because we're here to talk about some cryptics.

This is Tom Thompson, Costenos, the Raptilian from Strange Group Podcast, and we're here I called the Conspiracy to talk about some bizarre and strange things. So strap in for this wild and hilarious ride. Now to the show, everybody. The curtains are open, we're checking tickets.

Out the door.

It's about to get strange, everybody.

All right, Welcome everybody to the podcast. Welcome back.

Hey, hey, y'all, we're getting we're getting back into it.

I am one of your hosts, Tom Kat aka Tom Thompson, otherwise known as.

Cringe ass Bitch. Yes you are a cringy ass bitch.

And I am another one of your hosts, Reverend Kaiju aka Anton aka.

The person who helps Tom spell yes, no, Google does that for me. It's not doing a good job. Did I?

Still, I'll happily relinquish that title over to Google.

And take them. Let them take the blame. I spell probed right, Yes you did, did I? But but you spelled butt wrong. It's b you t T I know. I just wanted to make your spell it motherfucker for all the people that's listening.

I do have I have one of those cinema signs, and I put aliens prode my butt for this episode.

And for all of our listeners.

Tom also has a probe in his butt, which you can't see right now, but it's it's there, and it's blinking.

It's about the size, Bro, you gotta upgrade your butt plug. That's too small. Don't be. I thought you're gonna pull out like a fucking black huge deal. You get yourself one of these, buddy. No, I don't, I don't shame. I don't none of that. But I'm not. That ain't my flavor.

But I did bring some special friend of ours that our listeners will remember and our viewers will remember.

For this episode in particular. Okay, let me go get them really quick. Okay, my god, this stupid. Can you guess what I'm drinking on? Is it a Gin and Tonic? Yes, you are correct, sir, You are correct sir. For all of our listeners.

Tom's actually just a gigantic fan of Missus McMurray from Letter Kenny.

I've never even seen that show, page show. He's always trying to get some cocksuck and G and T's m that is delicious. That is I know, not astray for this episode, bro, I'm fucking ready.

Let's get into some crazy, weird teenage jungle abduction.

I'm not talking about world leaders either, folks.

I still have some Express, so I'm gonna get on that. And like I said on the one episode, we have X certain episodes that weren't up to the low standards that we do have, So we will be recovering some very big cases and episodes that got a lot of big downloads even though they weren't up to my standards, which are very low. But be prepared because we got one coming soon with Billy that's gonna be pretty exciting

Back door, solet's nine. Uh no, that was last week. Mars Attacks. Nice.

Nice, I'm not putting my tattoo up to the screen. All I have to say is fuck Pete Davidson. I had a Mars Attack tattoo way before he did. I like Pete Davidson. My only beef with him is that, you know, he has some Mars Attacks tattoo, and anyone that got one after I got one is obviously inferior.

It's fucking Kim Kardashian's gargantuan ass. It's ridiculously he fuck a hob at all he wants. I don't know, it's so weird, like Chelsea, Like the new season of the Kardashians came on, like fucking Disney Plus, which is so weird, and yeah, right, it's through, it's through.

I don't know all of the stupid things they go now.

And uh, it's just like, shoot, I was editing and she was watching it, and I'm like, it just looks unnatural, so unnatural.

It's fucking weird. Her ass. Yes, isn't it cosmetic? Oh of course it is.

Okay, it is fucking it's massive, and when it's photoshopped looks nice. But if you see her listen like everyday bikinis she's got it looks all sorts of gross.

It's whatever. I got some cherry kool aid. Oh, that's awesome, pipe and smoke. For our listeners, this is being recorded on four twenty one, so you'll have to excuse me. But yesterday was, as the kids said, thirty years ago off the Hiszye.

Yes we were.

It was four twenty when the day before we recorded this, we actually talked about doing a fun four twenty rant style episode, even for the Patriot or just for a bonus episode.

But I got so stone I forgot about it.

I'd say, like true stoners, we just procrastinated until it was too late.

So exactly.

And yeah, I watched Mars Attacks recently, which will be coming eventually on to our Unreal reviews on Patreon, so make sure you subscribe and support the World Keeping it strange, support us keeping world strange?

Should I I want the listeners to know that they still got two out of four hosts working for him, and that ain't bad, all right.

So let's get into an alien abduction in a jungle, the jungle calling it the Jungle Boy.

Any Alien Abduction Team Loist Carlos Sera, Yeah, I know. And it took it took me so.

Long to like remember what this dude's name was, to look him up. And every time you said jungle boy, in my mind went to jungle book. So I was like, well, this dude's name isn't Mowgli, so I can't look that up.

And dude, you'd be amazed at how little.

Comes up when you pop ufo Jungle Abduction into the search engine, like it's music, it's mostly music.

Sounds like, I don't know if I should call it that, if I should just call I think I should. Should I call it jungle boy alien abduction.

No, you should call it jungle boogie. Jungle Nah, that doesn't make sense, jungle boogie. Let's just start. Let's just start naming our episodes.

After fucking weird songs that were in Tarantino flicks.

All right, Well, let me know, I don't know what to name this yet. Alien abduction in the Jungle, Jungle, Anium abduction, jungle boy gets abducted by aliens.

Bung hole in the jungle.

You never give good suggestions when I ask you for them.

You're talking about it's a great suggestion. I just don't like my suggestions.

In March nineteen seventy eight, a fisherman was out by a river in the state of man O Manahurrah, Brazil.

Hit that cringe.

Button already, So cringey Jesus.

Oh fucking sweek's good, cringey ass bitch?

Uh Marina, Marina, did you find out how to pronounce this?

Bitch? Oh? I'm sorry. I thought Google was the person shall be helping you.

I don't fucking I do not. I go to Google Speak when I have to speak. But I guess I am speaking.

Right now, Mara Narrah? How mad? And how I didn't say that?

How I'm I'm an English kid that didn't even care to fucking learn French because I hated it.

So you can't even really learn English to be honest, Yeah, I know that's because, Uh do I have that yet? No? I don't.

Well, you speak Canadian, I speak American. None of us speak English. We speak a variation thereof.

And uh, fucking when's that? Look at me on my knees Japanese.

Chinese Japanese dry knees. Look at these? Yes? What the fuck did I say? All Right?

Well it is four twenty two, so uh, let's let's get into this. So in Brazil, when there is like concentration was broken, this this man, this fishery, this fisherman in in nineteen seventy eight, he's out, he's out fishing, uh in Brazil, and you know it's concentration. Don't know how much concentration you need with fishing. You just have to stare at the water and hopefully something pulls on your rod.

No, motherfucker, he's fishing in Brazil. He doesn't have a bass master fucking rod.

He uses his hands, likely either using his hands a net or a spear.

Yes, I guess a spear would make sense. And this is nineteen seventy eight, So Brazil wasn't.

Doing that well. Brazil is not doing that well right now.

Yeah, no wonder. But you know what, as far as I know, they're not bought out by the world. They can now perform, so we will see they're brought out by the cartels. So when his concentration was broken by screams from a nearby jungle, gonna give me a Brazilian scream. I one thing I gotta say about Brazil is goddamn man doude. They have nice looking ladies. They have extremely sexy ladies in my opinion. You know a lot of them have penises, right, some of them. But it's not

But if you are Japanese listeners, yeah, well, Sue Dan, I what up?

Man? I got I got you on my back still, so you know. And they you know, the sexy brazil parades, man, I don't know if some of them are man. They look damn good. Yeah, carnivall, man, their big booties are out. I don't know how kids can go to that thing. I don't think they should be allowed.

But hey, because.

Most of Europe is not is not founded by a bunch of prudes, like fucking Canada and America.

That's true, our spoiled rich kids alarm. The fisherman stopped what he was doing, and I didn't give me a Brazilian scream yet I did, did you?

Maybe I'm too steady, but I'll give you another one. Hang on han Hi, Oh yeah, I do remember you doing that. Man.

That's what we does to your brain. You forget things in fucking three point five seconds.

Marijuana affects the memory alarm.

The fisherman stopped what he was doing and ventured into the thick, murky underbrush towards the desperate cries, until he came to a teenage boy laying there on the ground.

He said, can I get the little SUCKI sucky for five? Bucky? Any tenu? Why how do we go from Brazil to Vietnam? What happened here? How do you?

Is Brazil's in Spanish? Spanaish hocks on tensim got.

I think Brazil speaks Portuguese and Spanish. I think those are the two languages in Brazil. I could be very wrong. Portugal is near Spain, so I'm probably very wrong. Because Brazil is near America.

I thought they speak German. Oh that's an Argentina. No, that's Argentina.

The boy seemed to be in a rough shape, unable to move, and even when asked who he was, he could only respond with gargling cries of pain. Wow, I don't think you sound like a fucking lawn more starting He's an eighteen.

Year old boy, not an eighty year old man. I don't know. He got all fucked up by aliens too, sound I'm doing my best here.

Whoever this boy was, he seemed to be in a sort of like spaced out daze, and considering there was blood coming from his mouth, the fisherman assumed he had been attacked by someone.

When authority is.

Out dazed, spaced out, you fucking pun spaced out, dazed, spaced out, dazed and confused, spaced out.

Because he got picked up by aliens.

Oh that's punny, as ship billy would love that. One billy would love it. Because when authorities arrived, they they the boy was taken to a hospital, they realized he had four missing teeth.

He got out, his molars were ripped out and like a lot of his front teeth were fucked up and jagged too. Apparently, Yes, the dude also had a ton of radiation burns all over and which, of course, you know, anyone familiar with UFO cases was well aware that that radiation burns are very common, uh, you know, trait, physiological trait of being abducted.

So with other teeth jagged and broken, as Anton said, patches of his hair that appeared to have been literally burnt off, red marks almost like sunburns around his ears, and by the time doctors looked at him. He was some he was somewhat of like unresponsive and a kind of a catatonic state. So he hit that good good Indica, hit that good good Indica.

He got jungle locked instead of couch locked. Is there a wee stream with the name jungle and I should have smoke there. There has to be, right, there has to be. I was gonna say a really bad joke. Never mind, so a cancelable joke.

Yes, yeah, he was moved to more of a modern medical facility. What do you mean modern They out in a fuck in the woods and a makeshift for it.

Well, you know how you have like urgent cares and then you have hospitals and stuff like that. Yeah, so you probably had what was known as aid stations for like military people, which are just set up like Red Cross tent style things.

This is having an actual hospital in the city. So you would have like a.

A village doctor and what have you, which probably just had your normal like in home everyday physicians set up.

But if you needed more advanced stuff like X.

Rays or facilities to perform surgery, you'd probably have to.

Go to the doctor's like a city.

Hey, hey, wait, Okay, I see you got very hurt, very badly. Can I pee inside your mouth and we'll see if that heals it. I pee on everything. I peel on pe on snake bites, I pee on broken elbows, and somehow it fixes it.

I am the mere productor Maurine. It is magico.

I just feel like they're like, here's some beeswax. Let me just rub it on the fucking wound.

All right, listeners, I apologize.

I will have a cough drop because I'm getting over being sick and my voice is ultra nasally.

Anton got COVID three times in a row, right, totally.

I got like eighty one fucking vaccines and twelve booster shots. I don't know how how it's supposed to never get sick again.

So only after a few days did he begin to come out of his weird days. Days man days was this kid was out what he did? He had a quite strange story to tell.

That's fucking strange.

And so it would begeting one of the weirdest alien inbduction accounts Brazil has ever seen. It started as a normal day for the always sixteen years old my bad sixteen year.

Old Sierra Carlos Lois Sarah, who in.

March nineteen seventy eight was near his home in the village of Panevla Panevlae and collected Guavo fruit for his family.

Guavas a great Wien album. And who listens to ween fucking dorks.

Yeah, like I said, you would have got a very along with the strange kid Spencer that came on one episode for the If you guys remember this for the Mermaid episode, Spencer is a weird child and he tried to show me some weird music and I said, I don't know about this.

Meanwhile, Tom listens to just the most obscure doom rap you've ever heard in your life.

Now, I listened to the constant screeching of a hawk, and that's what people think. I'm like bopping the rap beats, but no, it's just the hawk gets me through my day motivated.

I don't know how the hawk sounds, to be honest. Oh yeah, just like a very sharp Uh.

So he had he had a weird story, and you know it started for him. You know, he's sixteen years old, you know who's He's out near his home in this village and he's collecting through the area was covered in thick jungle, but he had been out there so many times before, and Louis, you know, I thought it was just another boring day until that.

Day began to take a strange turn.

Start with a loud noise like a siren that boomed and reverberated amongst the trees.

Oh was it that kind of siren? Was it a temptress of the deep siren?

Or they can't swim that far? They verge siren?

Wow?

Forever Purge was in most of the Purge movie suck.

I don't get the fucking fascination with him, other than people loving them because they're like, how cool would it be if I got to run around killing people?

No, I just it's just it's just a weird new genre of like horror movies. It's just like a part it's not even that new technically, but no, it's not.

It's a post apocalyptic horror movie. It's been done better called Escape from New York.

Yeah, that's true. First two not bad. You know, I've watched all of them. But you know, I'm a I'm a weird horror fan and get ready for that too. For horror movies, most of the planet is horror movies, but it might venture off ato other things that me and Anton have plans, and hopefully one day a billy can join in on this fun stuff on the Patreon, which he's gonna develop more time.

I don't know where.

Out of his hands, out of his magical hands is alien fucking et fingers. He's gonna develop more more time, and we're gonna do some commentary on horror movies. So the idea we've said it before is you press play as soon as we start the movie and you get to hear us make fun of it.

Yeah, our commentary tracks, we'll basically be doing riff tracking, but I only I can call it riff tracking.

Tom beat that out. I beat it, I beat it hard, beat it, not beat it. I beat it. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Ah.

So, starting with loud noises obviously boom, He's like, what the fuck is happening? This was not normal sound for a jungle one though. Shit obviously not natural, and at first Luis thought it might have been an aircraft overhead, but when he looked up it would prove to be no normal aircraft.

It was, in fact, a big ass fucking spice ship.

When Luise peered up through the canopy of the trees stretching as far above, stretching far above, he felt nearly blind by the intensely bright light. As he stood there, fright and wondering what possibly could produce such light, he suddenly found that he couldn't move his body. Classic, classic, total classic fleet paralysis.

Yes, lots lots of time.

I don't even know what time it is right now, Luise would claim that something had paralyzed him. He fell to the ground, unable to move or even cry out. As he layered there helpless, the light began to soar of kngeal around him, almost like Cosby's favorite jello pudding.

That's not the only thing that's congealing when you got the Cosby in you, that's true.

Do you think he gets still jizz on him? They were fucking asleep and then you still had ordered to come out like a paddot.

What do you mean while they're still asleep?

You know that would How would them sleeping have anything to do with the consistency of Bill Cosby's jizz?

I don't know, man, I just thought, like, how can you even get hard still? Why isn't he to put them asleep. Why isn't he just like, I don't know.

This shit was happening when Cosby was in his thirties and forties.

That's true because Joe Rogan says, you remember stuff in the fucking like like the eighties, hearing stories about him.

Well, Joe Rogan wasn't a comedian in the eighties. Joe Rogan was still a lad in the eighties.

I believe eighties or nineties. May yeah, babe, I'm wrong.

Early when he was on news radio and shit, yeah he said not. I swear he said eighties at the late eighties maybe.

But probably. I mean, I'm sure.

I'm sure he's spoken to comedians that were around in the eighties that like talking.

He is like, fucking seventy five man looks great though, push he's almost sixty other right now, I know, I'm just joking.

So off of Cosby's come until he was enveloped by the jello pudding.

Give me a jello pudding, bro Oh, I got the jello pudding and zipples ebbow with my bullding pop. But in your ear, Oh, you're gonna love it, Louise. You see.

I like the way that the sweat glistens off your back, and uh, I just want you to know that I've made you a beverage because you look like you're sweating a lot on this beautiful day.

That's right, yep, swallow it all down. I'm gonna I'm gonna pull out the pudding. I'm gonna put it in your fucking bore. That's right.

Why he loved pudding Pops so much because he's on the commercial all the time.

Because no, it's just hysterea, because he was howking pudding Pops all the time.

What a strange fellow? Wow, when he's a strange man. When and when he died, so definitely got the famous dead. And it's not gonna be a pretty one.

Oh my god, it's not gonna be a famous dead.

It's gonna be how much do we hate Bill Cosby?

You know, the most hated women in America right now is Jada fucking Smith.

Yeah she should be. She's a fucking whore.

Yeah, she's a see you next Tuesday, all right, So yeah, there you go. So obviously it was enveloped by this goo, this, this this substance, and he felt that, you know, lift his body off the forest floor into the air as something. We're pulling him towards upward, upward, upward, we go. Now terrified, the boy continued, is ascend. He's going up into the into the sky, right through the branches of the canopy and above the sea of the jungle green. That's when

Is it not? It's Louise Louis.

I mean, there's no way for me to do a Brazilian without making it super racist.

So Louis, Louis, come back to Chamada. It's Louis. Have I been saying Louise or am I just high? I think it's Louise. No, it's Lewis. What okay?

Fuck this kid's name right, His name is Lewis now like the kid from fucking Even Stevens. So, according to Lewis, hovering over the jungle was a large round object with a dome top lined with windows along the sides, and after he was floating to get closer to the craft and closer to the craft, he claimed that he was pulled towards this mysterious sphere and right through.

The fucking window he went through the window.

Yeah, because it's just some sort of weird like force field thing instead of like an actual glass window, as you or I would call it. It's just you know, uh like uh membrane of sorts.

Took me a second to think of the word, but yeah, a membrane. Trying to think it. What's that movie?

But the guy like it's fucking He's like, I think it's shot back.

Oh it's stupid that movie.

Dumbass guy from fucking tool Time, Tim Tim Allen.

If you're gonna sit there and talk shit about Galaxy Quest, I'm leaving this podcast right now.

Okay, I actually watched that recently and it's still pretty good.

It's a weird one. It's a weird movie. It's it's very weird.

But the best part about the DVD is there's a segment where Sigourney Weaver wraps.

What, yeah, can we do that?

We have to do that for an unreal review Galaxy Quest. Yeah, okay, it'll be fun. It is just we are here to get you the way they fucking guy.

Talks, Yeah, trying to mimic the human voice.

Yeah, we are here farm the planet, fuck you, all right, So and so this, This spaceship does remind me of Bartie Barty, Barty, Barney and Betty Hill and how it has like the windows all along it, like the you know, the typical.

Were you trying to pretend that it froze there, It's like the typical flying saucer, right, And how Barney, Barnie and Betty Hill saw like inside the windows so.

Windows on the top are windows around like the middle of the rim because it's usually like you have.

That stereotypical like for example, yes.

This no, but when Barny and Betty Hill saw, if you go back to the episode, right, it's like a windows around it. It's got like a dome on top, it's got the windows around like appears each individual.

Yeah, like going through on the sides. Okay, so that type of craft. Yeah, and it was it's pretty crazy.

So we like materialized or de materializing as you say, through this craft and materialized inside of it and pretty crazy. And then when he was inside, he was then gently lowered to the floor, from which Lewis looked up and could see three humanoid beings and metallic suits visors standing around him speaking in some unknown language.

You know what's crazy for as gently as they you.

Know, the care they took in bringing him onto the ship. Clearly somewhere in between now and when he's discovered, things take a very violent turn because the dude is fucked up when.

He always fucked up, and they don't really can.

I think they'd be like, let's let's I think they want to keep you as calm as possible. If this whole phenomenon is real, I definitely believe the aliens are real. We will get smoked out of a bong from an alien one day.

Oh we are, it's right behind you, and it'll soon be behind me whatever tea spring you know, sends me mus shit.

And then we'll have all sorts of fun. So the thing is, I think it's finally wearing visors, Like there's some fucking poker player trying to hide their fucking their gaze onto the cars.

They're just looking down like they guy. They'd be funny.

They're full on like metallic suits and they're wearing like the visors like fucking uh.

Tom Uh fucking Thompson used to wear. Oh the Rowel dou Green Vegas viser. Yeah, pretty great. There's one of them just got aviator glasses on.

There's bats flying around over here, smoking a cigarette, fucking with with the holder.

The one aliens just was stumbling around. You know, he's fucked up on some sort of space drugs.

Man, if we got some crazy drugs, I couldn't imagine what they have.

What do you think? Well, I mean, what do you think of that bong behind you?

That ain't fucking regular terrestrial weed? You got no time for earth weed. That's that's like human souls getting smoked through that bong.

Dude, domb and full of com man. They love it. It's adrenochrome. They're smoking a dream chrome. So they're speaking some unknown language to him.

As he tried to comprehend what was going on, the craft began to move and things would get even stranger still, although his memory of even although his memory of the event would remain somewhat murky, he says the craft went to a place that was dark and devoid of mountains, dark.

And void of mountains. Well, the valley would be in between mountains, but like a pit. So the void then, yeah, Well.

It was just a vast, expansive, weird like area, almost like when you go into the matrix and you're in that where it's like nothingness, which is like completely white. But the weird thing is there was some sort of tall, tall, strange tall grass. Okay, nothing but blackness above Also it was like all black with all this grass around him, which is even weirder. And he levitated back out of the craft and he was set down above a flat rock in the clearing, and he would say, what happens next? Fuck?

I do not know how Randy Savage, a strange land with no slim gems and lots of trees.

Ult Coogan, you're done, I said, even here, I'm coming for Old Comania. I do not I know how long it took me to get up there. I went out to the window and just came in. There was nothing supporting my back. I was still paralyzed. It was very It was a very strange place.

I did not know.

It seemed to be like a field but with no birds or it's a you know what, I'm gonna redo this for everybody.

He's a fucking sixteen year old kid, I was taken. I'm talking.

I was taken to a strange land with no trees and only tall grass. I do not know how long it took me to get there. I went out of the window as just as I came in, with nothing supporting my back. I was still paralyzed. It was strange place I did not know. It seemed like a field, but no birds. But the grass was very high, only about one meter. I did not see any house or building. I could not see the sky. There was no trees or stars. It was very dark. I was still paralyzed.

Then they put a transparent ball in my mouth. Oh that sounds getting a little sexy, and a.

Liquid ran down my fucking throat too fast. I fell asleep and did not know what happened after that, and I woke up in the bush.

That dude definitely was taking loads after load after load down the throat.

For me, it very much seems like they probably jerked into a ball and then they fucking shoved the down his throat.

No, dude, it's one of those fetish toys that like keeps your mouth pride open so people can just come up and just use it.

Oh yeah, like uh bukaki.

No, No, it's like for s and m Orgies and stuff. They make the same thing for assholes.

I've seen it in.

THEKKI videos though they stretched the Asian's mouth and I had coincided. Actually, can't fucking spit it out. Never seen those videos, Am I the only one?

I'm not familiar with those documentaries. Tom No boot cocky man. Look it up. Just look it up right now.

I'm well, I'm telling all the fans, if you're a fucking sister year old boy, especially, look it up.

See how it makes you feel.

Okay, do not, first of all, you're if you're that young, turn this show off immediately.

Please.

Hey, I got bitched out at Fast Mephobia the other day. I was playing Fast and Phobia late at night too when he was British. So I guess they're like, but there's there are a couple of hours ahead.

I guess I'm British, so they're not people. It doesn't matter.

Yeah, and uh so, uh let me tell you the story really quick. I gotta keep it because I think it's funny. It's playing fast my phobia. I was doing late night streaming and stuff like that and uh, which I normally don't do. So I was like, you know what, Anton's not aroun gona jump up some fast my phobia. And there was this chick in the match and this other guy, and then someone else was in there, but we didn't hear them at first, and I was like,

I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm annoying and.

Uh so I can and I was I was drinking, so I probably in very stone, so I probably was annoying. And then so I came in this match. I was like, oh, this hilarius was making jokes. The chick was laughing at my joke said with the guy, and then the kid's like, okay, can you hear me sat and he's like here and I was like, yeah, we can hear you. And I was like, oh, this is awesome, my little British boy. And I was like, can you say yata wizard Harry?

Do is he is a piece of paper and you.

Spell the alphabet and and numbers, and you can put it with a show and you can make a weig board. He's like, I don't think so, and she was like, don't tell him how to make a fucking Weedi board.

I'm like, I was playing it when I was twelve. It's okay. He's just he's only eight, but he can learn.

And then she's like a good thing is she said second about like him because they were walking in another directors, I couldn't really hear that well. And she's like, she's like, you know, there's weird people on the internet.

He's like, I know that. I try to be careful. And I was like, weird.

She's like, you know what, the Internet's not the problem, it's the people. And I'm like, he's playing a fucking ghost game on the internet at eight years old.

I wouldn't let my own kid do it. And she didn't like that. Wow, I got she.

I was gonna put it on the patreoton the fact that, like she cussed me out and shit, and I was like and I was like, fuck these people. I logged off. I was like, Jesus christ Man, why is that a big deal? Do you think that's a big deal?

Yeah, you're just encouraging some kid to fucking go and pull a Wiji board out.

Why is his parents, like the kids are on five thirteenth, Why are you playing a game that has ghosts and ghouls?

And where are you intentionally antagonizing that trial? I thought it was hilarious, man, tell me some pretty school. Apparently we're the only one that thought it was hilarious.

Tell me some fucking Harry Potter quotes, Man, I love it, Come on, do it, just do it, just do it. Yeah, that was I was like Jesus Christ. People get so offended. I was just telling him to use the wigi board, how.

To do it.

First of all, you never are supposed to use a Wigi board by yourself.

I did it?

Are we are we using you as the exam of the role model.

Now all right back to alien. I just had to tell you that. I just decided to tell Maybe I'll cut that from the audio, but stand in.

The Oh no, that's staying in the audio, don't you dare cut that?

It would be it would not be until three days later that he would be found there by the fishermen, three days later after the abduction. And we're eventually gonna get into Travis Walton very soon. Me and Anton Anton have talked about getting into Travis Walton. I actually saw him, so that's pretty cool.

That's he's an alien convection.

Convection, he's an alien convention near the cities I lived, and we went and I didn't buy any I just want to check it out. Was the first time we went, and I wanted to go around and I'll talk about on the episode. But then we saw him. Chelsea Gilder's that guy, and I was like, what very cool.

Travis Walton, come tick on my bum hole.

I'm just joking. You give me tickle my bum with his mustache. Would you find Travis Walton not making it any better? No, just fucking kidding. So obviously they it was three days later when he was found by the fishermen. It would turn out that he had been uh, he'd been in a search effort to locate the boy. This whole village was in a search effort.

They did.

Yeah, they were concerned he disappeared and they didn't know where he was at they uh. The incident would capture the attention of UFO researcher and journalist Bob Pratt, who would go to the region to interview Lewis and other locals about what happened, also finding out that there there had been several other sightings of UFOs in the area at the time, anything sixties, fifties, sixties, seventies, even onto the eighties, a huge concentrate of UFOs UFO abductions, and

Well, it was when it was.

Really starting to gain steam, was in the sixties and seventies, because it was first reported in the forties, and then you know, through the fifties we had the atomic sci fi age, so it was reported, but it wasn't taken as seriously.

And then now we're kind.

Of living in the golden age of disclosure, even though it's half disclosure or it's a soft disclosure.

Now, if they disclose aliens, the military complex fucking just disappears.

It would what the fuck are you talking about it?

If they disclose aliens, the military and complex gets more money.

If those aliens are.

Hostile, yeah, but the thing is it would crumble though. If they were advanced, as they say, they would be advanced. They'd be traveling, if they could reach here from some other plan at or something like that. They would be advance, which means technology technologically, they'd be advanced, would wipe out our military. We would they would just say do it Mars attacks and journey in a fucking dust or they would just like you're just weapons would dissipate in your hands.

You wouldn't even be saying they'd be destroyed, not that they would just dissolve.

Yeah, they would just you know, they would just yeah, maybe they could just fucking woh woah wah wah wah with their mind.

The fucking gun's gone. You're saying that the military would be physically defeated.

What I what I thought you were saying was that the military would just be like, we're out of here, bye bye, We're done.

I just think the if the if aliens would show up, that it would just it would be dissolved slowly, like not that slow, but like fucking it would just they wouldn't be able to do ship. What are they gonna do? All these there were good aliens. All your guns are gone, they're gonna take them through bad aliens. You're fucking dead anyway.

Are you saying that good people take away guns when people that want.

Peace keep No, if every citizen should have a gun, no government official or police should have guns, because who cares if they die?

Anyway?

Us joking, support your boys in blue if they're not assholes. We're going off on a fucking bad thing here.

What I don't know what this wee shit is, but I'm just kind of letting you take the reins and watching this train wreck at this point.

So obviously Bob Pratt, a researcher, would go to interview Lewis and I find out what happened. So Pratt would also interview a medical personnel who had examined the boy, including including a neurologist and two psychiatrists, and even spoke with the town's mayor. What do you think the town's mayor looks like he's wearing like fucking like those leaves around his waist, like he's like Mowgli from the Jungle Book.

I'm so glad that if.

For all of our listener and a half that exists in Brazil, that they are now gone.

We love you, don't worry. We're just fucking joking. I know you have cities and your brain, your brain goes one way and my brain.

Goes the other way, where I just picture him as the typical fat American mayor wearing the sash, which is the only reason you know that he's the mayor, because he.

Has a sash that just says mayor.

Yeah, but it's a sash, but its mayor leaves and they spell like mayor with fucking twigs on his chest.

The e is backwards because they are backwards people. Bro, what do you think they're wearing? He didn't catch that. There's no Ian mayor. Oh yeah, spell like John Mayer for some reason.

Just that's the only CDs they get down there. It was just John Mayer CDs.

And they're like, every village needs a mayor, but it's John Mayer. He has a fucking guitar. Uh, but it's actually Ukulelean. It's made out of fucking bamboo. That's how he captured timtoo. Through the jungle. You get, but fucked by alliens. That was pretty good.

I could probably better if I had raised my voice a little higher to knowing the neighbors. So none of them had rational explanations of why he was found in the condition that he was, rather curiously, according to research Albert Sales in August nineteen seventy eight, there was a signing of three glowing humanoids and silver coveralls and around true translucent helmets, like you're like typical alien.

That's weird. To be honest, if there was reports of that, that is actually pretty strange. I see this whole thing to me has a very uh.

Somebody was testing some nasty shit out in the jungle and someone got caught in the crossfire.

Could be true, could be true, like maybe it was a sound weapon or an energy weapon or something along those lines.

And they went in and like they found him and were like, oh fuck, he's still alive and he's not bad enough that we should maybe just liquidate him cuz you know, you'll probably come looking for this kid.

Why would they care about a kid in a village though, Man, it's a village. There's like fucking fifteen people there.

That's the other thing too, is I don't know any number of reasons. Maybe that research team had a conscience.

Well he's too old to seliman the sex trafficking ring in Brazil, so let's just leave him be. Yes, the world is a dark and nasty place. If you don't know already, you'll find it. Uh so.

Yeah, So which is weird?

They found these weird humanoids that are still in silver coveralls, you know, and they're just strange people. And they don't know if it's connected to Lewis's remains, it's unknown, but I think it's fine.

They when little little helmets.

It just to me, it's like the almost like it is like Mars attacks where they just have the dome around the fucking head.

I just love that you said remains when this dude survives. Yeah, the case remains unknown.

No, no, no, never mind, I thought you said when they found his remains, they found him.

They didn't find as remains. Technically, he still remains, right. No, remains are what remains after the person has died. Who gave that definition? That's the definition. It's hard to know what may. It's hard to know what to make of this utterly bizarre case.

Investigators who have looked into this deemed Lewis to be perfectly rational and calm, a calm witness, you know who. Never Actually, he never got away from his real story, the story that he told. He stuck with which to me, I'm a believer. I believe in aliens. I always will. No one will stop me from doing it. Even if you strap me up to one of those James Bond traps where you get hit in the testicles constantly, I'll

Never never deviated from his story. He never gained anything from his story. That's one of the things, you know, that's really big within the UFO world is that most people who report UFO sightings and actually tell stories of abductions, they don't, you know, they don't go on the tours circuit and make a bunch of money. They end up having what careers or paths that they have in life

Who knows in today's world.

But you know, Nikes did send him some shoes so he could stop wearing fucking tree bances tied with bark.

On his feet. Yeah, there were Nike decades.

Yeah, and then he mysteriously was found dead in a fucking hotel room. Where were they a complex? Where are they just renting?

A fucking call back to our Heaven's Gate episode. Yeah, we just did.

It.

Was like it was like a mansion, wasn't it.

Yeah, they were renting like a giant mansion, And we did the conversion rate on the episode two.

I don't have the notes in front of me right now.

But.

Throw back. So so go out there and listen to that.

Yeah, it's a it's a great episode, one of our better ones. But they're all great. They're all amazingly strange if you like us strange fellows. So there's nothing about him that suggests he would simply fabricate section otherworldly tail, and no reason to suspect he wo I've regained anything from it. There is also, uh, the collaborating reports of the other strangeness in the area.

So what do we think all this?

Is it just a mix with local superstition, maybe a dose of minor hysteria, or is there something more to it? For now, the strange case of Lewis Kudos Sierra remains an intriguing mystery that sees no It sees no concrete conclusion in sight, and has left in the realm of speculation to believe or not to believe. The hose Hedge can go on the hose Head's page on Facebook or Instagram and tell us what the fuck you think about this strange alien abduction.

I'm gonna I'm gonna toss my hat into the uh, the plausible realm on this one. I'm gonna say this one between the lack of information just a little bit that we had the fact that this dude's life got super fucked up, he was super super.

Damaged by this ship. Yeah, something happened to this dude.

And I would say UFO abduction certainly a possibility, and I think maybe a little fallout from a military operation.

Might be another one. But I think you do have a point.

With the military operation, they probably would have just liquidated disass well.

There is that point.

But also you know they they picked certain people because there's people Most times, to me, it's people that won't be believe. That's always joke about the farmer Jed, you know, that goes out and needs his farmer's crops, and it says Tim and his fucking sister cousin, and you know, they're just hanging out. And it's usually people that won't be believed in the end of it anyway, so they don't really care because they'll just sound crazy.

But this could be a case of where they were maybe in.

The seventies testing out UFO technology that maybe they got during the nineteen forties, and this was an easy spot you go to fucking jungle and you just pick up some jungle boy and you know what I mean, he comes back and he doesn't know what the hell's happening, and you know, it's all history.

Yeah, strange, that's as they say, some strange history. Yes it is.

And we wanted to start, we want to get into a UFO case. I thought this one was interesting. It wasn't too dense, and it was something that I found, like, you know, it's one of the weirdest and strangest brazil accounts of Ufo abductions and the fact that it happened

Yep, that's how mythology works. So could be true, could not be true? You know what, I hope think on this one? You are you? Are you a believer on this one? I believe in anything, man.

I think reptilians are controlling the world and the queen each children.

So this is probably my own Do you think do you think this was a reptilian? Do you think this was a gray? What?

What?

What aliens? Would you would you call this one? I think what's the what's the reptilian's take? I think it really went down here. Tease the clues together, Tom and give us your side.

Considering the idea that the rampant alien inductions during the nineteen sixties to leading into the seventies of grays, because grays were used right by the reptilians almost as an interface to help abduct people.

So they have to do with themselves. What's a biomechanical drone of sorts.

Yeah, yes, so, And I do believe that there's there's grays that like exist, that are actual biological beings that maybe were creating a vat and then they were like, you know what, these motherfuckers are not listening to us anymore.

They're over there in Zata rearticular. They're doing their own thing.

So we've got a thing of we gotta build and think of something we can make that's more robotic and mechanic that will just listen to us as soon as we say something like, you know, man cheering candidate type style gray And they could have came in right there and they're just doing even tests and just saying because obviously they sprayed some weird ship into his mouth, all right, with this weird ball like it's from fucking Fantasium phantasm phantasm Fantasium.

Wait wait, wait, that's fucking straight. Where's where's the I and the you in phantasm? To cringey ass bitch.

I've got a little stone for this episode. But yes, uh uh fantastmphobia.

Oh my god, I actually know why those people will get so fucking annoyed with you when you.

Play those games, because I'm annoying the same reason we get annoyed with you when you play Dead by Daylight with us.

You're supposed to listen, and games involve you not talking at every three fucking seconds.

Well, get ready for when I play that game in silence where you literally have to be quiet the whole time.

I'm gonna die every fucking five minutes.

Yeah, it's not gonna gonna be a point to playing the fucking game. You're just gonna sit there and continue to die.

I'll test myself. I'll do it. I want, I will watch that.

I'll be'll put duct tape over my mouth. Yeah, so, I don't know. I think it could be the possibility that it could be Gray's you know, just testing out technology, or because obviously second was done to him. He had burn marks, and to be honest, they could have give him the old jerky jerky and they could have taken a sperm sample. Maybe he's a strapping, young, handsome boy and they want to make uh, you know, sexy fucking Brazilian gray alien man so we can fuck the chicks at the parade.

That's actually Tom's type.

For those of you that don't know, a sexy gray Brazilian alien man is what Tom has wet dreams about.

Yes, other than Shania Twain that is up there. You've heard my Shania Twain story.

Yeah, oh yeah, you've You've done your Shanaia Twayne rants several times. I still don't like my buddy. I just, uh, she don't even look like a woman, So I bet you it don't feel like a woman. That's all I'm saying. I don't know what happened.

I was fifteen, and I think I think an alien projected her image in my mind and made me come to bed.

Bro, you're fifteen. You can get a boner about anything. It's true's trip. You can trip and smack your head on something and be like, why is my dick hard? Right now? The fact that me and Billy both joped off to Sears catalog is enough. Yeah, you and like forty million other Americans in the seventies, it's.

True Sears man all the way. Now Seiars doesn't even exist. But you know, I can't do a fucking Tim Allen. You're always talking about Sears all the fucking time. Go down to series, get your fucking tool.

Can you do it, Tim Allen? No, you can't do it. No.

I have never been at Tim the Tim the confidential informant, cocaine snitch to man Taylor.

Yeah, didn't he get involved with some fucking shit.

No, dude, he was like he sold coke and then fucking rolled on people to get out of get out of fucking doing prison time.

I feel like I heard that somewhere, but any hear the full story. That's actual pretty fucking interesting.

Yeah, dude, it's uh, that's that's a fucking story to cover, except that motherfucker's still alive and we'll get soon.

Yeah that's true. Wait till he's dead and we'll cover him. We'll cover him all sorts of cocaine. I don't know what's going on with me today. I just I'm just tired.

It's a little it gonna be a little late by the time this episode comes out. But uh, are you gonna blame that, you know what, for the death of Gilbert Godfrey?

Oh no, he died naturally. I don't know. I can't.

I don't fucking know, because it seems like or is it part of the Satanic cabal and their whole thing of killing celebrities every so often to register with the consciousness of humankind to make them feel bad and get into a low state. Because millions love Gilbert Godfrey and some women even jerked off to his voice.

How many people was Gilbert Godfrey relevant to until he died, besides comedians and fans of comedy. I feel like there are not a ton of people that are talking about Gilbert Godfrey until Gilbert Godfrey died.

Don't get me wrong, I love him. He's fucking hilarious. But it's not as though I don't know. I just I don't.

I don't get the whole Like, no, celebrities are automatically not human and should be kept on such a pedestal that the idea that they're simply murdered for the sake of some ritual or they never get sick and die, that's it's not something that happens to celebrities.

It's like, no, they they're people. They get sick and die too. Yes, I understand that, and you know I do. I do believe that.

You know, there's a lot of celebrities that did die naturally or something happened to them. You know, they are human as far as we know onlike bad Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anstan people like that. But I do think there's a possibility, especially with you not the big names. People just kind of came in the industry and did a little bit and was here and there. You know,

It's my is my opinion. I love that you failed to mention Anthony Bourdain in that same case.

Nathy Bourdin, I one hundred percent he was murdered. I missed that man very much. Me and he used to hang out and fucking cook up some fish and fucking Guatemala.

It was fun. You guys cooked up some heroin together too. Yeah, jeez.

Anthrew Werdaine was one of my favorite chefs when I was cooking in And yeah, he was definitely murdered for trying to expose I believe the child sex trafficking rings.

Same with Chris Cornell and Chester Bendington.

But that will come on another episode when we do talk about maybe celebrities being cloning in.

A bunch of weird shit. Who knows what's gonna happen? Man, who knows? I could? I could buy those theories. I could buy all the im getting whacked because they were trying to expose the cabal.

It's very strange, it's very And now there's the guy that was exposing some of the stuff that's going on in Ukrain right now, and he's been missing for three days and guess what he did the same thing that I'm McCafe did. And he literally said in fucking tweets, if I'm missing for more than twenty four hours, I was murdered.

Those tweets are ignored by now. But also the reason those tweets.

Are ignored is because I mean Devil's Advocate, which you know I love playing on this show that if you're gonna kill yourself and you want a little bit of man when I die, people are gonna be talking.

About this for quite some time. You send out a I'm not suicidal tweet and then you blow your brains up.

Yes, but who knows the true story behind all these conspiracies And we will very soon be diving back into more strange conspiracies veryou That's.

Why you gotta stay tuned, folks, because we're getting into the deep shit.

Yes, we will be getting in some very deep topics coming up. We're gonna take little breaks and do fun little episodes like this one where you know, there's not much info, but I do fund it fascinating, so we'll talk about it. And I want to dive back into aliens before we started getting into some big, very massive alien cases that are more well known, but also we like covering stuff that is not well known. Want to, you know, give your ears something new to tickle on.

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Do something, fuck the ship enough of this or you can use to something. The dumb bitch shut the left if your last year and lose nothing. You can't touch this, but.

Trust ten people need to see a row. Looks like you need a hero.

Shouldn't believe everything here with the ears, though it might be false.

It's player. You got to play the chess.

Find a pulse and I can't find my mind at all. Mass decided climb and fall and never push me against you all you push seas aren't even.

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While this hods in it all gets God this can quiz not this fall list whether rough this God's can hostages where the product is apocalypse mustis.

When the English gets released, the n regime increases.

That's Tony's, It's supreme seed of Congress.

Now let's talk about godless nature.

Rough the beast nations at the knees and defeated the creations of her belief. If he studying meat were paint after me, Saint miss free, You need faith faith in the south, escape fa out the house, powerch mouse.

Inside the South manitain that chief that maybe when you get a reincarnate you won't be back. Starships way from me. Believe the attacker carfony, faith, you won't make it. And until the colon case stop holding on you sure your hate. Sing to your own songs. It's a lonely place. Bring the war, run no escape from the spiritual battle.

The wise up the recal owl and now type befo here ras a cowward.

What you say, you think it matters, it doesn't. It wasn't I, the master of nothing, made of something. It made everything something something.

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Kill it if you have to. That's the only way to become what you were meant to be be