Cult Of Cryptids: Cryptobotany _ Plant Cryptids

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Welcome everybody you the show. Welcome, Welcome out there, everybody. I am one of your hosts, Tom kat aka Tom Thompson and who am I?

Joined by what's up?

Everybody? I'm whispering so the plants.

Can't hear me?

Then tied you what's going on? Everybody? Also, remember people in uh in order to fight back against the plants, there's only one one remedy smoke them.

Yes, I have my delicious alien o G.

I was debating on like a bong hit and I was like, I don't know if I want to full blown take a bong fit like you, you seem as I get older and I and I've said this before obviously if you're a new listener, I'm a huge fan of psychedelics. I actually took four gram te not before this, but a couple hours ago, so I'm kind of how uh at the beginning, I thought I was dying. It seems like you look jolly, do I yeah, I'm very

Everybody a lot of fun.

And then I late, I was, yeah, that was pretty late, and then I went and I will I finished puppet Master too when I went downstairs and drank and and uh, what a little overboard. So I feel like it's always sketchy to me to to do mushrooms and then have to is to do mushrooms and then to essentially like if you're drinking and like messing with mushrooms, I'll call on mushrooms.

I feel like it's a bad mix.

But at the beginning, like my heart felt weird and I was like, and I think it was just my mind right, because the way it goes through your nervous system, and I was like, what would happen if I just like died here. I'm just gonna die here, And Charlie

It was like, oh, we're having the death trip. Eh.

Yeah, it was fucking but I've done that before where you like, it's happened to me before, where you're like, you get concerned about your body and like the your health and stuff like that during the trip and then you come out of it, and I felt great.

You always want to be aware of your body.

Yeah, the plants always want to teach you something and and like or the fun guy. But like plants to plant medicine in general, it's there to teach us.

I don't know, some of the plants that we're about to talk about today don't seem to want to teach anybody.

Oh yeah, they want to kill them. Yeah.

Well maybe that's you know, maybe we're part of the problem. Maybe human beings are part of the problem.

Duh.

I'm surrounded for all the audiences, I'm surrounded by plant life, some some live and some dead. This is a real plant. Else's mom brought this back to life. She had it like years ago and we and left it with her mom and it was tiny and it's brought back to life. It is crazy that things like you can use natural stuff to like bring the plants back living.

It's cool because that's why they actually can gauge.

If you talk to your plants and you feed them good energy, that they will survive longer and live longer.

That is like a theory, the Baxter theory. It's I believe it.

Man.

Energy is drow And that's why I want to get in this thing. Before we get in this talk, is.

Have you played a plantasia for your plants or are you a poser?

What the fuck is? Is there a thing called plant Asia? Are you fucking serious? Oh, I've heard of that.

It's music for plants. Yeah, of course everyone's heard of it. I feel well, is that a mean good? But it's fun.

I like it. I would check it out, honestly.

It's such a vibe. We were sitting there at my buddy's house just getting super stone and I was like, you'll put on Plantasia and it was a good time.

Sounds fucking I've definitely heard of it because all these like like stuff like Spongle and those weird like psychedelic kind of musics for just like chilling out and like listening to the sounds. But I'm sure people have had this theory before. But I want to mention on an episode, and this is a good one. Is every time I'm like tripping and I go outside, there's like a tree outside, right.

It.

I one hundred percent believe that when you're on psychedelics, because I said, this is Chelsea. The fungus is inside the soil and gives life. It eats dead things and then gives life to new things essentially, right, So you're taking in that and you're able to like resonate with the frequency of the plants. Because there's this tree out back and every time I'm tripping out, it seems to like wave at me. I can see it's branches almost

I mean, that might just be us projecting shit, but I have the same thing with animals on acid. See it's like, I mean, deer, especially if you run into a deer, they just look at you like, yeah, you're not a threat.

Yeah.

Well, like I swear to God, dude, Like it feels like in like, you know, it could be a projection whatever, but I feel like you can resonate.

People have talked about this. Paul Stammonds talked about this, and.

I've heard about people like tripping like on high high doses and talking to trees and figure out like how old the tree.

Is, how long it has existed.

They're all this stuff like and memories of like are surrounding that tree. That's like, it's crazy because the use of psychedelicsis mind blowing and a lot of times you've said it were it's kind of for you when you're on those trips.

It's for you.

It's absolutely hyper individualized in my opinion. Obviously, I'm by no mean it's a fucking expert. I'm just a person who's tripped.

I will.

I will too many times.

Yeah, I will become an expert after this. I will be There will be one day where I become fungus. Like you know, it's gonna happen. We're all gonna become fungus. But the thing is, like we all will. It will change eventually. One day when I come on the podcast, I'll have like that that fucking head in uh in the Last of Us.

Oh my gosh, Okay.

I thought you were speaking, like, you know, metaphorically, like one day I'll become fungus because I'll be eaten by fungus. It's like, yeah, we're lucky they don't pump us full of fucking form aldehyde.

And I don't want that. I want to just like I told Chelsea, make me a tree. Make me a tree.

You know how expensive that is and how in some areas that you can't do it. Well, it's very disappointing to me. It's saying getting composted.

I'm like, yeah, if it's my property, right and and can I not just be like bury me in the backyard.

That's nope, that's your local laws and ordinances and ship. You gotta check all your ship because something illegal other places, it's probably fine.

I'm gonna ask.

I'm gonna go to my community, like if you can bury people, because there's literally a graveyard, like a fuck.

It's a desertated zoned area. That's the thing is that you're you're talking about you. I mean, I'm sure there are places you can get buried like naturally, but I don't know where they are, and I don't know how much it would be. I don't know nothing about your fake ass monopoly money. Son, throw me off. Why don't you get you some Murrican dollars?

Yeah, that's gonna collapse soon. So cryptozoology for the common folk. Has it made me laugh so hard? Fascinated humankind for thousands of years maybe hard? Yes, thousands of years, beginning

Right, So there's yeah, the animals that are reported to exist but they don't have any actual evidence of it. The animals that are reported to be extinct, which are found out later. So anything that's non traditional zoology, well like that that correct.

I can't yeah, I can't remember that.

There's that hyena creature that was like drink, oh this is you would actually really like this. It's a Dylan's a Gin cocktail. You would like to try it.

I don't fuck with gin no more though.

I love Gin, dude, I.

Saw with my buds.

I love gin. This is okay.

This is tangerine, lemon and a hint of mint like it's fairly good. And I got another one BlackBerry lemon and a dash of elderflower, which there is a gin and I wish I knew the name of it, because eventually it'd be great to have sponsors one day, considering how much we've drank on the show over the period of fucking years. But essentially, it's like, there's this gin. It has elderflower in it, the best gin I've ever tried.

You know, every Gin fan says that it's literally the same thing with like any it was like, you have bother the right strain, you have tried the right whiskey. You don't even know, but it's like it's like, no, they probably do. They just like, no, there is people that like.

It tastes delicious, But I was just gonna send me over the edge and then I'll fucking drink the whole thing.

Ah, But even the finest whiskey tastes like gasoline and anger.

I I agree, I agree, love whiskey, but but like some good scotch sipping on that ship, it's like getting Yeah, but reports of strange organisms don't stop at the animal variety entering crypto botany, crypto botany, never heard of it or some of the study of plant kryptis just like it's animal counterparts. This field of study folks on the bizarre plants of folklore and legend that have evaded scientific confirmation.

So it's fucking weird.

While there may be it may obviously they may be cap capped, it on, it may have been capped. I can't fucking say this word with the mushroom, fucking is coming in my brain again. But essentially capturing, capturing this stuff on camera footage, God got that out or blurry photos essentially as most times how we see it. But with these elusive plants, it's they you can't. It's hard to catch these things, so to speak. You know, you don't see like this plant like walking off. Yeah, it's

Thing devil snare. Yeah, when when I was.

In the Philosopher's Stone, it's a terrifying Yeah, yeah, it's a terrified plant has actually a longer and frightening more history, uh more frightening history than children's fantasies can cove convey.

So that's pretty interesting.

That.

Like obviously, one witnessed report claimed to have encountered this deadly plant near Lake Nicaragua after hearing sounds of pain and terror from his dog. When he found the source, he discovered that the dog was entangled by a network of roots and fibers, fibers covered in thick adhesive gum. As the eye Winds struggled to cut his dog free, the plant actually fought back, wrapping its vines around his hands, leaving his flesh red and blistered.

Isn't that frightening? Oh? Man?

Like even if you just you stumble into this thing thinking nothing of it, like that's true, A bunch of roots whatever, it's crazy kind of like this. Oh no, I don't know that Audrey too. Is is Devil's scenarios the tentacles themselves, But I mean there's other killer plants that also technically have so like the.

Idea of like this, something like a plant could essentially it protect itself right, That does happen in nature and actually attack back if it's being threatened to its food sources actually being cut off.

Most plants have some method of protecting themselves. Either the leaves are too spiny for you know, large animals to eat, or the you know, the berries are poisonous, or they have like the intoxicating or hallucination or hallucinatory.

Effect that is fucking frightening.

Though so thankfully he managed to pull free his pup, although it was wounded with strange suction marks where the vines had made contact with the skin. After this ordeal, he asked locals about the plant and learned it was a well known and feared was well known in fear

So that's when I was actually referencing when I said some of them have animalistic properties, because this one basically is just like a snake, independent root. It's just chilling along, and it doesn't have bones, it has cartilage. They're full of yellow marrow, and the apparently the the natives love to eat it.

That creeps me out.

That creeps me out, like, just I'm not I'm not frightened by snakes. I've caught used, I used to catch snakes all times I was a kid. But the idea of like some plant thing that has like has leaves on it and stuff like that, like some of these animals that make themselves look like nature and then attat is fucking kind of skill.

Here's here's what I was thinking earlier with that, How do you disrupt the nervous system? How do you kill that immediately?

To like the fungus, you gotta go for the fungus.

Is that the fungus though, is the flower the central nervous system for that?

Imagine that the brain is that the No imagine if a fucking fungus got so smart, like like artificial intelligence smart, because it already kind of is.

And then I I don't know. I feel like fungus might actually be like I think it's smarter than intelligence on the planet.

I think that it's the intelligence can't be can't be gauged at the our scope of what intelligence is as humans. But that thing is like fungus is crazy. The ship's like it's wild in general, which I'm gonna maybe one day look for fungus cryptids. I doubt that is the thing. This is close enough to it, though.

Do you want to get into the moss moss ma'am uh. I'm not gonna make my usual joke, not gonna make.

You know where this is from though, right uh?

Rancor Yes, these games goes from rancor dot com.

No, but you know where this is from?

Is that from he Man? Right?

Yes? This this creature.

I can tell the fuzzy ass fucking thong.

Yeah, I know, the the fucking tidy whiteye like with the belts with the yeah, with the fuzzy fuzzy like. I don't know how you're just underwear, I guess fucking weird.

So roped off by tangled vines and roots, corralled by nine foot tall sawgrass, and guarded by unknowable murky depths Florida swamps could be hiding anything, gators, exotic pets, turned loose spiders that are clearly God's mistake, and of course,

What the fuck right?

How fuck does that?

That's weird?

It turned out to this guy it was just yeah. The tribes medicine man allegedly used his magic to call upon the spirits of the swamp to seek out vengeance, causing the girl's head to take a human form of weeds, branches, and other vegetation to hunt down her murders. So like a golam or a tulpa, but they're more like it in Ganga than a tulpa because like it's got some sort of human flesh bass to it, whereas a golam is uh clay. I believe everyone has the name of God put into his mouth.

Can you do a God? Can you do that? I can't do it either, as my attempt.

Other versions of the story claim the medicine Man created a golum of vegetation to keep away the pillaging spaniards.

Oh yeah, weird.

Aside from his great height, the moss Man is said to have eyes that glow an amber or reddish hue, and possess a hypnotic quality, So either like I would say, like hypnotade where it's just like, you.

Know, that's like the moth w.

That's like moth Man though, because Mothman seems to have reddish, creepy eyes that like lure people in.

Well, don't most predators have hypnotic gaze and the whole point like they can kind of like that's why snakes through the thing to like stop their prey where their prey is, like what the hell and then spam Yeah, like wait, but A siding in nineteen seventy eight firmly wove the moss Man into folklore when a couple strolling along a Boca Ratan beach along the Everglades reported seeing a humanoid figure made of moss, grass and leaves.

Weird.

They claimed he glared at them without with glowing red eyes. Prompting them to flee. When they returned later, the creature was gone and only bits of Spanish moss remained strewn about the beach. You've seen a Spanish moss, right, that's super pretty, like moss hanging down from the trees in like all like the Louisiana stuff, all the down South stuff.

Oho, I have seen a spoo.

If you see a big spooky tree with shit hanging down off the sides of it, You're like, Oh, that's Spanish.

Does he have a does that have a thin mustache? I was like, I always want to make a Mexican joke, but I honestly don't know that much about the Spanish. Then that they conquered a lot of places and made people in the slaves at some point in time of our history. But like the place and what they're like known for is wine. Spain's not for wine, right.

Is Spanya?

No?

I don't think it's Spain.

I don't really know what what Spain is known for other than a bad economy, you know, and people just like to have a lot of time off because they have to drink their wine. That's what I know about Spain. All those countries like fucking Greece. They're all very similar and that they're like they want to have all this time off and which.

Sounds fucking nice. Honestly, they don't want to work.

They a lot of them like they because their economy just seems to go like this, at least in Greece and Spain and stuff like that, like every economy.

But it's like, am I wrong?

Is Spain not like fucking they have tons of time off or they at least fight for it because they it's valued around like spending time with family, But it's really just drinking wine and getting drunk. I don't know if I'm wrong or not. I don't think I am okay, have you ever do you not know? Like is that not talking about Spain? I swear to God, I.

Don't know what that has to do with plants.

But yeah, Spain, Spanish man, fuck us, Fuck the Spanish. Uh.

The cow eating tree, the cow eating tree, the cow eating tree. Like as soon as I heard it, I kind of was like, all right, he's going for a walk in Christopher. Mel Gibson said that he saw there's an interview with mel Gibson, and he said he saw Christopher walk in shape shift. It's not shape shift, but he said he saw him like turn demonic and then he like turned his head and there on a rooftop and there was like six six six in the backgrounds.

I watched the whole interview of him.

Talking about the dumbest fucking thing.

You should watch. It's at least for entertainment values.

I don't want to watch mel Gibson talk. I don't.

Hey, he's trying to expose the fucking whole, like inner sex rings and do a movie about it.

He's probably getting something up and settle down, Kanye. We all know who he thinks is running these sex rings.

Yeah it's I'm hm hmmm, someone you can't mention ever.

Sounds a little ladies and gentlemen. Tom is the only person on this podcast that endorses blood libel.

Yeah, let's all drink each other's blood, let's bathe in child's blood. That's just like the elites will all be one now. So the cow eating fucking tree. It was midday on October eighteen, two thousand and seven. When young can you pronounce this name please for me? Patram India patrem India made her way through the forest to visit her local shop. Normal day brought to an abrupt halt. However, she win us to tree lifting a struggling cow by

Touch the tree, the farmer quickly jumped in and cut the tree's branches to release the cow.

Not my cow, that's all what he said, but the tree, reported and the tree reportedly did not release its iron grip on the cow until it was cut down. As the story went viral across the early Internet, the owner of the rescue cow told reporters trees like this were known locally as tiger trees. I'm not going to pronounce pillima, and we're sometimes pillimara, yeah, that's and sometimes we're mentioned

What is it iron always be in like a central like it's against the fay? Is it just because that was the new thing? It was the iron age?

Maybe that might be honestly that that's a good theory, But also is this the all chemical like stuff like that, like the magic belief and that these these things like certain metals can actually like you know, they have frequencies and can stop certain things from happening, like like putting like a little like a real like aluminum quarter a dollar or whatever in your water you drink and stuff like that supposed to be like helps your body.

And there's like all stuff like that.

Hippi shit, isn't iron a compound?

But then then.

They put dangerous metals because metals can be dangerous and good for you, and then's supposed to be dangerous is how they're like obviously may didn't and created, but like how you know they put metal in everything? Like there was someone who tested twelve different child juices. Don't give your kid juice, people, And they found arsenic in the juices and some heavy ass metals that would like lead

Oh see, I'm an idiot. I was I was thinking the wrong thing. What I was trying to remember if iron was an ore, like fine, you find iron ore versus being a compound, Like when you put U copper and copper and iron and you like, yeah, you make steel.

Yeah, because I don't know. I fucking I work with metal all the time. It's fucking don't care that much about it. Yeah, yeah, that's a good one. So uh so that fucking weird. Unfortunately, the origin the original reporting on these incidents is a bit a bit garbled, so it's hard to say that these events are truly separate or different accounts or the same of the same event.

And monsters see.

That fucking weird, Like that's fucking I don't know, I'm I there's not certain, there's not there's not really there's not really cryptids that frighten me, but plants that could kill you.

You know.

It's I don't know because it like, you know, there's there's like if you go to Australia, everything trying to kill you, that's the joke. But like, oh the idea that you think you walk in buy a tree, like you just walking by a tree, you know, fucking just hang out there and then you're like or like you walk in your dog and then they think goes and then just like fucking takes your dog.

Like that shit's fucking frightening.

It doesn't it might not think or respond the way humans do, right, So it's just like it's it's motive essentially is to like kill or contain and use maybe the nutrients from whatever dead thing it has. Because plants need dead things a lot of times to survive, So it.

Would be the same thing as a digestion. It's gonna eat what it can, it's gonna digest what it can, and then it's gonna spit out what it can't. Fucking scary though, That's the thing is that, like, how do

I know.

I think I think deep in the jungles and the swamps and ship oh, is absolutely plausible. We know that there are carnivorous plants. There are plants that use things like, you know, rotting smells to entice prey.

M hmm.

So do you want to get into the y yeah, ya ti vo the leshie.

No, we're on the We're on the they we're on the yat vo.

We're on the leshie.

Oh, well, on my list, it's the other way around. Oh maybe I didn't add that one. Strange, all right, just go with that one.

So I'm gonna go with the yativo. Uh. Humanity's fascination with carnivorous plants has gripped us for centuries. After all, plants and trees are often seen as a vibrant, life giving sentinels of nature who just want water in sunlight. The idea of certain ones being stone cold killers or

Oh creepy, that's creepy.

So in eighteen eighty one, a letter was published from German explorer Carl Leech sometimes describing a terrible tree called the Yativo and how it ate members of the Dok I'm gona butcher this sorry Doku tribe of Madagascar tribe. He notably described his encounter with the tree as it coiled its tendrils around a philly, strangling the young horse with a cruel swiftness and savage tenacity of anaconda's fastening

Yeah, fucking to me, this is like frightening. And there's like you think of walking around cryptids that maybe are connected with nature, but like the plant like this specifically that like just that vines entangle you and bring you in.

It is like, I don't know, it's it's it's freaky.

That's why you see it in obviously certain movies and stuff like that. And then in you know, Japan, where they love tentacles, they love them, love them so much they shove them in places they probably shouldn't.

Are you I'm talking about tentacles?

Would you be into? Are you in a tentacle porn? Would you want?

I don't like your tone.

I was curious the people that like, okay, I I they use tentacles because they can't show dicks, so then they have to have something else. So and they all, y'all love fucking anime, so they're like tentacles because they can't for some reason, I can't show a dick going into vagina, but I can show a fucking tentacle going into vagina. That's fucking just strange. In general, that's how happens in Japan. I'm why you give me this look like I'm wrong.

I'm not giving you a look like I'm like I think you're wrong, not in the least, but I'm just saying I'm like, yeah.

I might, I might, I might do that. Have a tentacles all over you. Oh yeah, tentacles.

Hmmm in some weird like slimy gag. See, I'm a I'm a I'm absolutely that, let's go.

I'm a simple man.

The more sometimes when I hear it like stuff that you'd be to I'm like, I'm I'm so simple, so.

Simple, there's nothing, there's nothing wrong with that.

I know. It's just like you feel like why I joke joke with Billy. Billy is very simple also, but.

I feel like if I probed Billy for I'm like, hey, a hot chick wants to do this or whatever.

I'm so sure that Billy would be.

Like, yeah, I have a fucking feeling because uh, everyone like I'll do this or that. But once you like have this situation where this girl is like let me do this, and this or guy or whoever, right that, like you know, started to be like, hmm, maybe I guess.

Like if you like this, I guess I should. I'll help you out.

I don't know with the for me, but with the right partner I open to most have a couple of hard limits.

But now I think it's like sexuality should be exploited in general. I do believe that that whatever people want to you know, do you embrace sexuality in a healthy way.

I think it's good. Pointer is not healthy.

As long as it's as long as it's consenting adult, it's all that matters.

Yeah. The Honey Island Swamp Bear. I like this guy.

The Honey Island swamp bear, first spotted in abundant Honey Island Swamp of Louisiana in nineteen sixty three. The Honey Island Swamp monster has been blamed for the death of animals and unexplained disappearance of local children. Uh Sometimes described as a cross between an alligator and a chimpanzee, this Island swamp monster stands over seven and a half feet tall, weighs about four to five hundred pounds, So he's fucking a big boy.

It's like a fucking at the half of a bear.

And because the bear's gonna be up to like nine hundred pounds, I feel like fairly big bears.

Bears can get up to a thousand pounds. So crazy grizzlies that are there have to be grizzlies that are like I would bet money on it.

I know.

I was listening to Joe Roke and talk about it, and he'salking about like this this grizzly bear encounter this attack where this guy it was in its his it was in his house and he had to like shoot it through the door and he caught it in the head and like you could see it. He had a time it perfectly and it's it's this crazy story and this guy to kill the bear in his own home because it like came into his house.

I'm like, he was like a forty five yeah, something powerful.

He talks about how he like the guy that did like this happened to He talked about He's like I knew this wouldn't do it. And he's like and Joey was like, these are the people that will survive the apocalypse. It's like people that just like duh, just like yeah, they are crazy. Like that's fucking mind blowing. I wouldn't bears and can right out the gate. I know bears are frightening. I will, I will fight, but it won't last long. Like I will fight my fucking dude tooth

Nickname, know.

Its nickname is the louis the Louisiana Wookie, which is like if you you discovered so supposedly so it actual, yeah, because it's supposed to be. It's when people have seen this. It has yellow reptilian eyes and the stench of death, which is.

And this it's part that always gets labeled to smell and like ship.

Too, Yeah, the smell of the marshlands, I guess. And hunters made early sightings of the Honey Island swamp Monster, reporting a towering humanoid mass plant matter prowling the swamps and leaving webbed, three toed footprints in its wake. Which that's fucking it's weird.

It's like a fuzzy creature from the Black Lagoon.

Yeah, he looks fun.

I love them looks. I like that.

Yeah, he looks grumpy.

Yet I wonder if it is to be honest, right, So this is a thought, we'll get I'll get into it after a rather unique legend surrounding the Swampy Beast involves an alligator train wreck that occurred near Pro River in the early nineteen hundreds. The story goes that a train of exotic circus animals, namely chimpanzees, escaped in the accident and bred with alligators. That's fucked up, eh, delightfully fantastical,

And then he's like, is that what you're gonna say?

Yeah, I was gonna say, I'm like, we know what this is, just like some reptilian that went rogue. And he's like, I'm done with the fucking agenda. I'm just gonna go hang out in the swamp. It's cool, and then he gets there, he's like, yo, it's fucking cold.

Yes, he like discovers himself with shit because or it's some it's a reptilian that lives in the area.

I don't know.

Yeah, he's a rogue and he just like lives off of like basic things. He got dropped here and he doesn't even know when he got dropped here. And then you know, he just like he just adapts.

You know what if he figured out that, like he just kept covering himself in fucking like plant matter and ship in the swamp and then going out and sunning himself and it just baked to him and it follows that and then there's just extra layers and those that's what keeps him warm.

That's why he's Well, there's theories on like when we talked about all their like the strange reptilian encounters of this scape or monsters I think at the swamp skateboard monster or whatever. It's supposedly he could be like a reptilian and stuff like that. It's like that they somehow

Simple, nothing crazy.

Ah, So let's get into the next one, the nair pon pond.

This one's weird.

This Thailand based plant cryptid is supposedly spotted in the Infamous and Perilous Jungles, appearing half human and half plant. While they're known for throwing rights, While they're known for throwing rights rocks at those passing through the jungle, the naripon or narapon actually have an origin in Buddhist mythology. According to legend, Vesinatra's wife often went into the forest to collect fruits, but feared attacks from the hermits and

It, do you want to see what these things look like? You fucking k they found one? You ever ejaculated your soul into something?

Look at that thing.

This is supposed to be a real picture of this thing that is supposed to be what it looks like supposed to be. They have it mummified, and if this is real, it's not saying it's real. It's probably a fucking circus thing. But but I always like going into the the you know, the fun aspect of mythological bullshit is imagine if that thing is real. Imagine if like it's crazy that they have And then people are like, nah,

Look up whitez that's making you say, Grandpa.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, listen, they're so turd his face tip.

Look up the the N A R E E p O N. Look that up and you'll see it's crazy. Look at this thing like it looks like a sad old like decreptit little creature.

I wis what it looks like when it's on the tree. Like it doesn't trible down at all. That's just what the fruit looks like. That's what everybody was sucking. Is that that tiny dry Yeah.

It's like crawls his way, like almost like when Freddy Krueger is that like weird baby thing.

It's just like crawls on you and ship.

Like using a bag of beef jerky as a fleshlight. That's horrible.

I like this The cactus cat. This is a fun one. I love this giddy.

Could you imagine getting fucked up by that thing?

I know, the cactus hat. It's literally a cat into a cactus. So the cactus cat. Cats are often accused of being a bit prickly according to dog lovers, but this plant.

Crypt that deserves the reputation.

The cactus cat is described as a bobcat like creature with thorns for fur, sharp and protruding bones, and branch tail. Most settings have been reported in southwestern desert of the United States, UH, most often in California, Nevada, and New Mexico,

And then you get this guy, you.

Know that that looks like a cactus. Fucking mickey about to take that twenty dollars.

Look at the one in the back. It's like humping the tree.

The one previously was licking the tree.

Uh, They're fucking fun.

Why has nobody made a movie about this yet? I know, like that needs to be a fucking sci fi channel, like made for TV movie like Cactus.

This is a really unknown cryptid.

I've heard about this before the episode when I'm unning, I'm running out that Crypti song, right.

I want to cat this cat tattoo. That thing is so isn't it cool?

You should get that would actually be a fun tattoo. Yeah, you should, because that's actually pretty fun tattoo. And like it's one of the most like unknown cryptids. And that's why I'm writing I'm running a cryptid song for everybody, and it's gonna be really fun. Actually, I'm using it to a very famous beat. It might get copywritten, but I the beat goes perfectly. But if not, I'm gonna actually like to make a beat or develop a beat

It's called the Cryptid Party. It's coming out.

It will come out in a couple of weeks to a month or two time I get everything done, but I want to add as many cryptids as possible. And I either have a line about the Cactus cat or I was going to try to add the cactus cat in because I was like the strangest fucking cryptids out there. Try to fit as many try, I want to fit

Yeah, so this thing.

Will come out of nowhere and then people have claimed to see it and he would like go up to the cactus and lick it, you know it. It looks like it would get high from the cactus.

Oh that explains a lot. Yeah, cactus ca't likes the fucking party. Let's go.

Yeah, he's like tripping balls because what's the mesculine is that the cactus that trip makes trip out? Is that?

My right, One's the mescaline buttons off of payote cactus.

My body has a Payote cactus and I.

Really they take like eight years to mature.

Yeah, and he I don't know how he got it, but he mentioned it to me, and I was like, if you ever I want to try, Okay, like I he and I was like, there's no way.

Masculine's fucking intense.

I know that's a one time thing, right, Let's try it once. And that's but I.

Mean, better be out in nature for that ship. You don't you don't fucking take mescaline and stay.

In the house. I feel like I had to do a little bit.

She's like, Mescalito is the spirit of the fucking.

Like Mescalito, some guy with a fucking capon flies in fun while I'm tripping.

Never heard of fucking mescalito And that's a terrible mescaline.

Is he a fucking Mexican wrestler that like teaches you about the fucking desert?

I would speak his name with a little more reverence than that.

Is he gonna suck me up? Am I gonna fucking find? Yeah?

Is he gonna fuck me up? I'm like tripping on mescaline. This guy comes out of nowhere, like punches me out.

You know how in sleep paralysis, most people either meet the shadow or the hat man or the old hag.

Yeah, reptilians. In my case, when you're.

Doing mescaline, most people meet Mescalito.

So I want to meet Mescalito.

You think he's gonna do like the fucking what's that move where he puts you on your back fucking flips you.

I think Mescalito is gonna be a leap stor.

Yeah I do, so we did.

If you, let's get into the capria. You can pronounce this one. Oh, here's another image of them. This is actually from that I for gott to throw this up from the naire pond. This is a someone the images from back of the day critical should be looking.

What's funny is you can tell how close the cultures are from, like one's you know in Japan and Chinese artwork as well, and they all have that motif of like the super exit, like like the crown style. I think maybe I'm sure it's just my uncultured Western.

Eyes that they too seeing that, but yeah, I actual that it's similar.

So the copry named from the Arabic word kafir, meaning a non believer in Islam, The copyright is a Philippine creature, often called a tree giant, with its towering seven to nine foot height and hairy muscular physique. Sightings often mentioned a powerful odor from the cigars it smoked, and the wearing of an indigenous Northern Philippine loincloth known as a bahag.

What goes on in Spain? Well, why are you guys such conquerors? What's happening with that? Huh?

Yeah? Does the rain in Spain truly stay mainly in the plane?

We don't know, We don't know, never been there, probably never going there.

Despite the name sordid past. The creature called the Caprare is said to dwell in big trees, wears a belt of invisibility, and possesses a magical white stone that grants the wishes of any you obtain it. Those who claim to have seen the cafrit rustling tree branches without cause or hearing loud laughter from an unseen Others are called seeing plumes of smoke with no source, or big red eyes glaring at them from the trees. Moss Man cometh on your face.

There's there's a there is a moss Man documentary, mockumentary. It's called The boss Man Cometh. Uh, I wonder if that's a tweak at always sunny. You want to see what this guy looks like the fucking the capri or whatever. Yeah, it's a naked man with a fucking fat cigar. It's a creature which is crazy that smokes cigars. Where's this from again? The Arabic world? Weird fucking straight?

Would you still let him hit this guy? Yeah, both of them.

This guy fucking man, he would eat your ass and it would be gone. It would be gone, there would be back and left fucking pulls out your edge trails. So the hailing from Central Asia, the vegetable lamb of tar tiri tart re aria, tart aria, tartaria sure tartaria. Now tart aria was leave to grow sheep like a tree grows fruit.

Ha ha ha. Sounds like does get jokers? That sounds of the left connected to the plant. Tom bine and pilloical cord.

The vegetable lamb was described in Henry Lee's eighteen eighty seven book The Vegetable Lamb of Tartary to both living animal and plant. They believe to be both living in am own plant. Belief surrounding whether the vegetable lamb is flesh and blood like a normal lamb or is a more plant life has shifted over time, along with speculation about whether or not it could survive without the umbilical cord.

To the plant.

Interestingly, though, when they compare the vegetable lamb to similar tales of the da yaha of Jewish folklore, ye doa?

Can you come on? Got? Ye? Ye you do?

Which offensive? Which offensive stereotype voice do we want? In this one?

The yeah, I could see it like that?

Uh they do.

Stroke the fucking lower features the lamb that.

Sprouted from the stem growing directly from the earth.

Uh.

Severing the connection between the lamb and the stem would only the only way to kill the creature. So it's bones could not actually Uh so it's bones could be used during some prophetic ceremonies.

Is that fucking weird?

Like d M T bones?

This thing? What is DMT bones.

It's a bone that you're smoking. It's d MT. I don't know.

I gotta try to DMPT. That's gonna happen doing that someday.

I want to get it properly because I've never I know, you get in vape pens.

I know we get it in vie parents.

It's not fun image of like some of this these crazy tree creature things. This one is weird that it grows sheep. This is the leashy. This guy's fucking look at this guy. He looks like the wind to go.

So, the Leshie has had some moments of stardom in recent years, from being featured as an enemy in the video game Cult of the Lamb to getting a moment in the limelight as Lessen and Netflix the Witzer and Netflix is the Witcher.

Oh what I wouldn't finish that.

However, this plant cryptid celebrity isn't an invention of the modern world. In fact, the Leshie comes from Slavic mythology and was seen as a god of the forests and hunting. He was considered a wild and spiteful being who prowled the deepest backwards of Eastern Europe. Legend describes him as a gaunt gaunt man or giant gaunt man, with tangled hair green covering his body and skin roughly like tree bark, but that wasn't his only form. This tree man was

It's to me, it reminds me of the Wendy Goo. Uh. It looks similar, but he's like bark is a bark creature.

I think it's just the big antler shit with the Wendy go and like the long either skeletal or dog face.

Have you ever seen Hannibal the show?

No, dude, it's so good, so good? Did another show that, like, the first three seasons are good in the ale of it, the whole thing is pretty good. Like me and Chelsea really liked it sex and never came back. But like when we started, I was like, Ah, this is gonna be okay. It's you know whatever, it's a fucking show about Hannibal. It's not gonna be as good as like the actual movies and stuff like that. Right, And uh, it was great, like almost up to par.

With the movies. Like it's it's fantastic. You have to check it out. Because he sees like it's based on the book, right, More, the show seems to be more verily heavily based on the books more than what the movie kind of adds to it and.

Which books Lambs, Dragon, Hannibal, the.

Whole the whole series. Whoever write that writer.

Is fucking wait, Handle Rising wasn't a Thomas Harris book, right? You write it after Thomas Harris movie was bad.

Yeah, I thought it was weird.

I don't remember if I like, I thought it wasn't I thought it wasn't bad.

I remember I remember they made him eat his sister, right thing.

Yeah, and it would prove to me like dig back into like why he's so sick. But that's the whole thing of like you can't always try to fucking figure out why the monster is doing what he's doing. That's how Rob Zombie ruined Halloween. You can't fun.

Didn't handble only eat people who kind of had it coming.

Yeah, like fucking Ray Liota you always got but oh yeah, he did have it coming. But like they show this he and it's weird because it's to me, it's in folklore in books and reaches back for so long psychedelic stuff there's that has connections to this of like the deer and seeing the antler, and he sees like this creature that looks kind of like this actually in the show, and I think it's in the books that way too, that he sees it because we're like, I was like,

Fastic interested in that alone.

So it's fucking sweet. I enjoyed this a lot. It is strange to me. When I found this, I was like, we gotta do this sometime soon because there's other cryptics that I want to deep dive into like I kind of want to go back to Mothman and do a big episode on that. And so there's there's all these talks, and there's certain things that we're gonna be doing live.

Knew that there was plant cryptids like it. I was like, weird, that's cool.

We're doing it live, and I I have I have, Yeah, fuck it, we're doing it live. Freak it out, Throw it back to which is now on Patreon. Are Saint Patty's Day Live Special on Patreon?

Everybody? Uh So that's the best way to support us, honestly.

That like, if you're a fan of this show, if you see this on YouTube, give it a like, you know, leave a comment for all the people out there. I know people like a lot of people watch our stuff. And then you know, it's very simple, like hit the subscribe to like comment, you know, last know what you think, leave us a rate and review, uh, you know anything, if you truly enjoy the show and you really want

How some fucking trash people. New episodes coming soon on Space Truckers. Go check out Tron's universe, Tron's mind Cave.

Oh yeah, he just started that. That's cool. I like that shit.

So go give Sweet Sweet Shane some dweet all right, the Twitch as always in order to find me for new listeners. Invader Daggett on Twitch. Uh, playing dumb shit most of the time. Come hang out, say hi, get me stoned.

Yeah, that's the purpose.

Plants got me on this episode, Thomas.

That got me.

I'm yeah, I'm I'm surprisingly this alien og hits nice but doesn't overdo it. And uh, considering I dosed, I havn't anything today, So I'm gonna have. You know what I'm gonna do later, big, I'm gonna have a mac and a big mac poutine.

There's this great poutine place.

That no, I don't want to hear anymore. I want poutine so bad. All the good poutine places out here are closed now like two they're going.

It does like poutine and mac and cheese. So last time we got the big mac mac and cheese. This time we're gonna switch it and I'm gonna get it as a poutine and We're gonna get some melnce on the fucking excited excitedful all right, everybody, love everybody, Okay, suck a fat dick. Yes, I don't know why, just watch out for the fucking play its Tomi's because they can kill you.

WHOA, I got a mask on, but I'm not ready to up.

Let's take action much you in a free of a cough. I stayed to a watch a ride in the maze cart and where when the last days of God the passways are wrong?

The facts that you laugh and I can.

Save us all the class course and make a bomb the.

Sad asses and lady storms the shock down. That's said the worst wage on that the fun rage takes.

Forms ve freemakers, but as human.

Face on controlling nations through inflation.

They sold their soul the same, but.

The goods grow tired and impatient. Just say when to end joy?

Saveman. You're the crazy rubber, your own creation, the major of your own matrix.

The say they said, your own.

Savor, the lover in your own hair. I smoke a cigarette on the stars gash, Noah, grosstar mot nor sorry, probably won't burn to a real curse. I smoke a cigarette on the stars gage. I have no grodstar, money nor John find we won't burn to a will curse.

The sick of Back to the day's hold.

When we were a slaves, we were told.

Slave messes on the paper that you hold Lord's a chaos on the stages of the Globe.

Corporations, play god, paid by players unknown.

Faceless gravestones paved on the road destination.

For a full grown men to my children in the rooms, chemically castrate the millions in troves, centuries of as ram so other boys of medium grove follow the road to blood to lead.

You home food.

The code of Susan.

To be aware where you're.

Room, mant care how you serve me.

When you're alone. Apparently you're aware.

No one cares be wearing what makes you scare?

Become a grave from saying there, what do you think your manifest?

And now it's not until I care less.

A sluck a cigarette on the score surnagement, hollt him no agrass, no, I never know her. Trow from your room burn doing world curst a smoke a cigarette on the storage tournagement. Holet up no grass, nor start from the room burn to a world curve.

Give me.

Capt story, cap talk study keeping.

Cap stony

Story