#971- Obscure Christmas Traditions From Around the World

Oh Bedard, Hello, and welcome to the show. This is the Cult of Conspiracy and I am the Cage to Night. I'm Raven Lee, and today we are going to continue on this week of holiday cheer and merriment and some controversy as we go into to some of the more obscure Christmas traditions from around the world. Some of these are good cult members have probably heard of before. Some of them I certainly had never heard of before we

But I can't even place their accent in my mind.

Like I know it's a very distinct accent, but I cannot feel life me like think about what it sounds like in my mind right now.

Their language has almost no linguistic family ties to any other language on Earth.

They just like made it up.

It's it's like Celtic, but it has no bearing as far as the Gaelic or the Pictic Celtic languages are concerned, I've heard reports saying the closest relative is like ancient Hebrew mixed with some sort of a Gaelic tongue. And it's like, how the fuck did this happen? Because whales be doing whales shit. That's just where we're at with it. What I don't it makes no sense to me.

It's amazing to me how languages happen and then they translate, and then they continue to change throughout time. But they also have stuff that is stuck around for generations that make absolutely no fucking sense.

And it's like, okay, cool.

All right, it does kind of tie in. And this is super weird tangent, but in line with Christmas and things like that. Cross Actually this is a weird Easter tangent, but whatever, take bear with me here. So Joseph Avermathea, who if those who don't know, was Jesus's uncle, who was the one that bought and paid for the tomb he was buried, and that was Mary's older brother. He was a merchant, and he brought in ten from Britannica, which would be where the ten minds were or I

I had no idea who that was. I'm not gonna I was just like, sure, some another another, dude.

I'm really terrible with names.

I have learned this as everybody keeps talking about names, and like people.

Are like, yo, you know this person, this person. I'm like, no, I don't fucking know. These people. Tell me what they did, and like maybe they'd show me who they look like. And then I'm like, oh.

Yeah, yeah, the faces I got all day? What people have done? Got you their names? I'm like, no idea, nope, nothing, zero, I can't hell.

People will tell me their name and like two seconds later, I'm like, what was that person's name?

Again? Yeah? Oh no, I'm horrible with it. I am sold me.

Yeah, don't you remember me.

I was like, yo, I will never forget your face ever, period ever. Same, but I do not know your name. And then I tried the whole thing of where you talk back, like you say the name back to the person as.

You're talking to them multiple times to try to remember.

I still am like, Betty, Joe, I haven't got like house Bunny, repeat it back like a monster, Joe, and it like helps you. That's not real. That's that doesn't work.

You're supposed to like repeat it back, I think five times within the same conversation, so your brain registers their name to their associating and I'm like, there's no way you should see my phone in the people's names in my phone and how they're labeled is absolutely asinine, Like the most ridiculous, like person through drive through that I saw Joe, and it's like who I worked.

With a dude for three years. He was like one of my best friends. I have no fucking clue what his name was. We still don't talk sometimes, you know.

Look, I actually I laugh because I laugh because I actually lived in this Because so I lived in the barracks and like I lived with people for you.

With the name time the shirt.

With name tapes on their on their actual uniforms, and I still was like, who's that guy.

Yo.

He lives on the second floor, like halfway down the hall, you know, so and so oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

I drink with him at one point. Couldn't tell you his fucking name because I met him as civilian attire.

People People will like message it like uh, Facebook, request me or whatever, and I'm like, who are you again, And then I'll see their faces oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, and I'm like, wait, that's that person's name.

Yeah, how what? And then you meet somebody who, like you get a total name and you're like, that's obviously a nickname. All right. Cool. One of my boys, Winter corn uh, I swear to god Winter corn Yep, that's his actual legal last name. I thought it was a joke because this dude looked albino, and I was like, all right, I'm.

The most crazy, absolutely insene last names in the Marine Corps. They are the most like made up bullshit fixtional names like what.

Well names are crazy like that, and especially and you know that I'm a hater of AI, specifically chat GPT. But here I was trying to make a crazy Australian joke and apparently it thinks that I am a vassal to the King of Norway and England, because apparently, according to chat GPT, I am of the liege of Canute. You mean I was going for country. But chat GPT was like, Canute, Did you mean Canute? Yes, clearly, clearly, I am trying to reach out to my homeboy, Canute.

Oh man, I want to think about some of the names. I'm going to try to remember this because this is so not on topic of what we're talking about.

But I got it. It was like a weird like dick names like I like, no, like like the name itself was Dick something, No, Dick something, and.

The names in the Marine Corps. I would see people's name tapes and I would stare at them and I'm like, you're really that's really your name.

Somebody somewhere along the way, somehow adopted this name or made this name being your family's name.

I'm what, Yeah, it's like, it's weird.

It's a weird life out there with your names.

Taking role John Foot Penis Actually it's handcock now, why none your goddamn business. That's why it's strange. It's the thing.

But back to our Christmas festivities. We are now on what day? Three?

We all three?

So now we are on Christmas Eve, we will be this will be dropping on Christmas Eve. And this is all about obscure, unique, fun funny, uh interesting traditions around the world. I don't know if we have any from back in the day, and I think we have a few that come from like back in the day. A lot of the traditions have been from way back bled into future that have kind of shifted and changed over the time. I'm jingling if anybody keeps hearing the bells.

Yeah, I'm jingling everyone, which it's my It's mentioninger Bread.

This is gonna kind of be an all encompassing episode. So if it sounds like it's a shot out of a cannon and we're over here in this country, we're talking Portugal. Now we're talking Japan. Now we're talking scanned Navy. Look, just just roll with it. Is the eighty d fucking fever dream on this one.

Just come with us on this journey.

Ooh, and I can't wait to talk about Japan because I just learned a whole lot about the kernel. What a raging piece of shit.

Oh oh man, I know if I know a bunch about him, but I will say I'm excited.

About the poop blog, the poop yeah blog. I'm so excited because, like, we just have to bring in the poop.

I had no idea about Hanky.

Mister Hanky has to come in of Catalonia.

And I feel like in episodes past, in Christmas specials past, we might have touched on it a bit, but I don't think we really did much talking about it because it sounded like it was almost an internet thing.

It does sound like I first, I really thought it was a joke. So then I actually had to pull up an actual article all about the pooplog because it's real.

It's a thing, and it sounds like.

We're making a joke, like a poop a log like no, no, no, an actual.

It's actually like parentheses poop blog, pooplog.

Like it's a log that you beat it and it shit's presence. We're gonna get to it, you know what, We're gonna get to it.

I'm here for it, and I know there.

Was a whole industry of making these bitches for porcelain, and shit.

I'm so excited.

It's a weird one, so good. Cult members if you would like to see all of the crazy things that we're gonna have pulled up here, we're gonna be going back and forth between articles and just looking at our gorgeous faces. Then what you need to do is go to Patreon dot com slash Cult of Conspiracy Podcasts. That is the only place to get the video of all of these episodes. And also it is the only place where you can get these episodes. Absolutely yes, and d

Yo ad suck they do so much and get behind the scenes, behind the scenes things.

Yeah, we are gonna start posting a lot more behind the scenes content, uh some more frequently with the Q and a's where you're gonna be dropping some merch soon. We're gonna have an online store soon. We're figuring things out. We're figuring things out. This this podcast is going in a good direction right now, and we're gonna try to find as many ways as we can to make it

It's pretty awesome.

Actually, we actually have quite a few people that we need to give a shout out to, not right now because.

I have to pull it up. I mean, you hang on there we go, Okay.

Tara, that's uh Tara, Samuel Tater Ashton croisver croisver kros vib crois vib maybe crossive crossive?

Sure that sounds.

I don't know, Christy, my mom shout out to my mom. My mom signed up. Hey mama and my uncle love you. Hell yeah, good morning, Babylon. Good morning. What did I just say?

Good morning, good morning, Good morning Babylon.

Dustin, Justin, Mark, Todd, Adam and David all within this last week have joined all different tiers. We got actually quite a few people that have joined third I all the way open and we super appreciate you. Quite a few of these lovely people have actually signed up for the entire year. So shout out to each and every one of you, and thank you so much for supporting us.

Absolutely absolutely, we love all of you, each and every one of you, and that is the best place to get to us directly through DMS. We are doing better as far as responding to the social medias and things, but it is it's time. It's a bitch. You'll you'll have days where you might have five people that message

We're gonna touch on that one here in a second.

Yeah, a matter of fact, we're gonna just skip over this one for now eating KFC for dinner in Japan. Apparently it's a huge Christmas tradition. We have a whole article independent of this one, actually going on deep on that one. So now number two hanging mushroom ornaments on the tree. And by mushroom ornaments, I do mean like the red ones that look like they're on Mario, which you know, it's quite whimsical.

Get really cute.

Honestly, No, folks who hang mushrooms all over their tree aren't serious fung guy fans. In parts of Germany and Austria, these red and white mushrooms are said to bring good fortune, known as glux pills. Wow, that's a real thing, all right, the glus pills.

You're probably saying, it's so fucking wrong.

I don't know how to say. Okay, maybe if I said it more angry because it's German glucks poles se glukes pills. I don't. I don't know either way.

I want to put a hot on everything now because you don't do I know, but because of Royce. Now, I just want to be like, cospill.

Tell me about it. My last name. It's a motherfucker because it's the ch is supposed to be like, and I'm like, no, I'm not doing it. And then yeah, but when the German dude got to Louisiana and the French nuns were like, h our language doesn't have that phlem noise. We got the cud noise though, got that, and so we do there it is anyway, it was

I am, I am, I am focused, and I am paying attention.

Very we call that chloroseptic spray here in the States. But you do you Germany?

Hell yeah, just the jokes I want to say right now. I was like, man, I am, I am not a child tonight, and I am not gonna make some jokes about shit grown around a tree that sounds like glux pills.

Right right, But anyway, these these mushrooms are of the psychedelic variety though, believe it or not. And so there's a bunch of depending on the source you go to. And we're not taking this massive tangent, but hear me out.

Here's why he's dropping off some shrooms to get high as fuck as you're bored.

Here's my problem with that, right, Like there's almost there's a story. There's no historical precedence, there's a story to go along with that. Bro, you're telling me you got this dude and his wife of the Viking nations, got eight faral children running around, and you're snowed in. You're dropping home boy a fucking package of these mushrooms off, and like that's that's gonna go. And it's like, oh, down the chimney, it's Santa Claus. It's not it's bullshit.

Nothing?

What was that one? You're stilling that glux pill, ain't you?

I am not that gloss pill. I am not.

I felt the FLM was actually necessary. Now that I've said it like that, No, because of the gluck gluck three thousand jokes I made. Now you have to throw FLM on it. Yeah, spit on that that.

Oh my, we we are not. We are coronas. We are not acting like two little shithead marines.

We are we are al tis the season and ship.

We are completely serious about this topic.

So anyway, now let's go on to roller skating to church.

Yo, I'm here for this. So Venezuela be doing the mostest and I'm here for it.

We're about to go to war with them, and I'm here for that too. But also I'm not here.

That's not a bad Let them roller skated church first. Yeah, yeah, let's still on their parade. Let's wait till after the holidays. But apparently, in Caracas, Venezuela, their capital city, many energetic Massoers celebrate the Christmas holiday on roller skates. In fact, there are so many yule tied skaters that some of the city streets are closed off for traffic from eight

The whole family just gets out there on the.

Blaze miss the old skating rinks.

That sounds like a blast so like blastom fucking seventies music and just be out there vibing like yeah yeah.

Also because of Venezuela, like some hardcore like Rigatone and like Mangey music, Like yeah, that'd be that shit would be going hard.

Okay, that's a pretty awesome one. I like it.

I ain't mad at it.

I need to go Venezuela.

I really hope we like don't go to war with Venezuela. But Also they got oil and a present that's been talking. Too much noise for all that oil. But like whatever, we'll figure out when we get there anyway. Number four, Uh, sharing Christmas wafers with the family, even pets.

Is it Poland?

It is Poland?

I knew it.

On Christmas Eve, people in Poland break apart thin wafers called a plot a plot key, sure o plotky and share them with their families. Wafers are passed around the table as everyone wishes good tidings upon their loved ones. So I think this is like communial wafers almost, like.

They have like the little steamps on them, and they they break them apart and share them with each other.

Oh god, it's actually really cute.

But what about their pets. They're part of the family too. In many packets of a plot key, you'll find a pink wafer that's meant to be shared with your furry pals. Well. Traditionally this wafer would have been shared with farm animals, but today people have Polish extraction, share their dogs, share with their dogs and cats. Wow, that's really cool.

I like it. That's awesome.

I like it.

Number five the gym and pickle and that actually on screen right now is Old World ornaments.

You see the little tag it.

Yeah, yes, So before we even get to this, so I my family collects Old World Christmas ornaments, and on screen right now is a traditional pickle from Old World Christmas. I actually this was my first Christmas ornament for my own tree. And it's a tradition to give somebody a Christmas ornament a pickle. And I actually have multiple size ones. I have little bitty ones and I have like the

But Germany is pretty. And again I didn't really understand this. I know that a lot of our mayor can Christmas traditions come from Germany. Fine, maybe a lot of our culture, believe it or not, does come from Germany. Hell our language comes from Germany. But I didn't realize that Germany was the Christmas capital of the world. Undisputed bar nuns.

Yes, Germany is the capital of the world when it comes to Christmas. There entire They have an entire Christmas city and it is the most epic. I can't wait to go there. I will go there, hopefully I get to take my mom there.

Might put the horse cheese everywhere. Why is that such a thing. I don't know, I mean, is it good? I've actually never had it. I don't think it is it actually? Is it like the name brand or is it actually made from horse milk?

Might have no idea. I'm not gonna lie to you.

But my dad was obsessed with wanting to go there, and it's a whole thing.

So essent to that video of the dude that went to the Christmas village and got all the food stops. M m yeah, and for nothing else for my foody soul. We have to go one day.

Oh yeah, I mean I have to go because I would like to take my dad's ashes there.

I'm gonna have to like smuggle them in and be covert and be a covert about it. But my dad was like Christmas was our holiday and is still my mom means like thing we can carry it on. But he wanted to go so badly to Germany. And this was like a huge thing of ours. This was like our pet, like this was our tradition. Every year we would go and buy old old world Christmas ornaments and you could. They used to be able to be everywhere and you could buy them. Now you mainly can buy

So I saw the pickles on your tree, and I just kind of thought, maybe it's just Raven Lee doing some wild sin on a tree, because why not. You know, if you look at my tree, it's got everything all thrown together.

Because it is a very eclectic tree.

That's that's just how I do it, you know, And nothing against those that do themes. I got nothing nothing but love and respect for that. My tree is primarily Yeah, there's some ornaments that were like manufactured somewhere. A lot of it is shit my kids made, and it's like it's for say no more, it's going on the tree. It's like I don't care. I don't care, it's going on the tree.

This year's theme is the Grench theme, so I'm on the Grench vibe this year. I have a couple different, uh, different ones. But I don't put out my old World ornaments just yet because I do not want them to break. So I don't want little tiny hands to grab hold of the said pickle or anything.

So let's talk about that hanging a pickle on a tree. The old legend says of a pickle is the last ornament hung on the Christmas tree. The first child to find the pickle gets an extra present. You can make yourself a family legend with the quick pickles that everybody can share on Christmas.

M hmm, yep.

It was the last ornament I hung on my tree. Okay, was the little pickles, So I love it.

Next, we have waiting for Buffana or Buffana the witch. In Italian folklore, Buffana is an old woman who delivers gifts two children on the night of January fifth. Buffana visits the eve or visits on the eve of the Feast of the Epiphany to fill good kid's socks with candy and presents. The naughty kids are gifted a lump of coal or a black rock candy. Okay, So basically in Italy they don't have Santa. They have the Christmas Witch.

She comes like after solstice, so like Solstice ends.

Isn't it like December twenty first.

Yes, but then they have like another January fifth, Yeah, so I believe that they have Santa as well, but this is but this is there.

She comes and brings like yes or no, if you're a good kid or not. So they have like these cute little dolls that they have all over the place, the little witches.

Huh. That's kind of cool because I mean, in the American tradition, right, Santa would leave you gifts or a lump of coal. Certain countries from all over the place. They just kind of blend that shit, which is is cool. I mean, I I guess because in Germany Crumpus, although he doesn't leave you coal, he puts you on a sack and beach the shit out of you, doesn't he. I thought that was Crumpus's whole jam. No, no, no,

Yeah I remember that, Yeah yeah, No, Crumpus will take the naughty ones that don't put it, that don't do the bell, and they don't like do the certain stuff, but he'll take them like he'll take the ones that don't celebrate Christmas in the right way.

Oh, just like full on kidnapping.

They don't come back.

So so child trafficking.

So Italy celebrates Santa Claus known as Baboo Natalie Natal Natalie not Natal Natal, but it also has unique figures like lab Funna, who brings gifts on the night before Epiphany. Christmas traditions in Italy include regional customs and celebrations that differ from typical Santa Claus narratives.

Hmm.

Interesting, they actually have like thirteen Christmas traditions that are different.

Well, Italy is a very diverse place, although when everybody thinks of Italy they think of you know, Sicily or Tuscany. Right, It's like, you gotta understand that the people in the north of Italy are blonde hair, blue eyed, and pati as fuck. The people in Sicily look completely different. The people in Rome are like a weird crossbreed between the two. Not even talking about Naples, not even talking about you know, Venice. It's they have so many weird pockets of like very deep,

Yeah, they have a whole bunch of stuff.

Actually, if you're going to savoring Italy, they actually have an entire list of all the different things that they do differently and leading up to Christmas and then after Christmas.

Every single day they have something different.

Wow.

Yeah, they have a ton of stuff.

Lighting of Christmas trees, they do, but they have like different celebrations leading up to it and what they do afterwards as well. Start with the Feasts of the Seven Fishes on Christmas Eve. There's nothing wrong, no wrong way to celebrate Christmas. But if you want to do it in the Anthony Bordona way Anthony Bourdaine boardine, I'm terrible with names, okay, then then you start with the Feasts of Seven Fishes on Christmas Eve. The traditional Italian meal

About to say wait a minute, just to work clear here, traditional Italian seafood like I've never thought of, like a Christmas beast and be like m fish like never one time.

Oh I could fuck with fish all day anytime.

Christmas.

Yeah, that's a.

Spring in summertime thing in the winter yeah, I hear. I hear from the Great White North of Oregon. So like pretty much any day is a fish day for you in it?

Yes, yeah, yeah, no, like I could totally I could totally do it any day. But sardines you lost me at the salted cod and sardines in a minute. Spaghetti with lobster you got me.

Back, ye me back in I'm listening.

So they have different ones.

Yeah, they have different Christmas dinners, they have masses, they have different types of lunches.

Spaghetti with lobster. I've actually never considered this.

That sounds fantastic to me.

I'm like mac and cheese lobster mac and cheese very much, very fucking so hard.

So was that like white sauce or red sauce spaghetti in the picture?

There was no picture. But now I'm now I want to know. I'm interested.

Now now we have to look into this more good cult members. Okay, stand the fuck bye? Uh moving on in.

Uh.

There's a thing of taking a holiday sauna.

Okay, well I'm here for that. So wherever this is, I need to be.

The fins are all about them saunas. Have you ever seen frozen?

The sauna is fantastic. And those huts are like be bait that's.

A giant barrel.

Yeah, but they're so nice and they're so cozy, especially when it's cold outside and you go into the sauna and you sit for a bit, and then you go out in the nice cold.

Oh, it just feels this nice cold, yes, because.

Well when you've sat in a sauna or a steam room or anything like that for a long period of time and then you go out into the cold ough, it.

Feels like a cold plunge.

Yes, except like cool plunges. Well, for me, cool plunges are really great for people. I'm a tedy little baby when it comes to that physical cold plunge. And even in organ when I would go to Brighton Bush and stuff and they would have I'd get it.

Now.

The hot springs where they have you know, the watch them call it. It's like a sauna overneath running hot water that's natural. It gets really really hot in there. And then if you go outside and you could do the cold plunge, cool off or they have two tubs or they have two shower heads and you can cool off and then come back inside and it's it's a vibe and you do want to cool off some, but I am like a baby when it comes to the

We're talking about Finland, and there's like no exaggeration, three feet of stone on the ground. Feel like stepping outside would be a cold plunge.

No, not when you're that hot, though.

Fuck have you ever been inside of one of these, like in an actual outdoor sauna?

Not outdoor? No, I would love to. I do love saunas, but I also love saunas. Again then stepping out into the hot parking lot to get into my steaming hot car in Louisiana after doing a sauna. I love the heat good cold members. If you couldn't tell, I was never intended for the cold, don't let the beard and long hair for you. I was meant for the ninety five degrees and one hundred percent humidity all year. That's my jam.

He is a tit when it comes to the cold.

But fuck with me in the heat though, yo.

But the heat is like it's one of those things that's just you can't escape it gets. I love sauna's actually I love wet saunas.

Oh do I love wet saunas.

I've only the only time I'm going to like a wet saun or anything is like at a gym that I was going to that how it happened to offer it, which is cool. But yeah, I would love to experience like actual hot spring saunas one day. I've heard so many good things about them, and I like and I've done the whole like going into a hot tub and then going into like a cold pool and then back and forth and your muscles get shocked and it feels amazing.

I hate going into cold plunges.

I've never done a cold plunge.

Oh my god, I can't. I can't do it.

Like I respect everybody that can, because it's it's awesome.

I want to get one, but I also know that I'll probably try it for the first time and be like, never mind, this was a waste of an investment.

I feel like you would get one toe in and you'd.

Be like probably no, I would have to like full force just like jump in, and I would not be able to lower myself.

What would kill me is you'd probably be pissed off. But like it actually reverses and helps your it helps your entire system, and it dumbs dope means and everything else.

It really help people. I bet it does. I bet it do.

I think for everybody actually the science. But you probably be like, oh.

No, I would be so mad the entire time, so angry. I can't imagine me getting out and being like, ah, what a good thing I did for myself this morning. I would be like, this is the dumbest fucking white people shit I've ever heard in my life. Like I'm just saying, I don't know, I.

Want to go to Finland now because a holiday sauna is right up my fucking alley. So like, let's go to Holland or Finland, Holland and Finland, whatever one of those places. I'm sorry everyone that lives over there.

I did not mean to, like you just pissed off the Dutch in the Finish. At the same time, that's amazing.

Group you all together.

I love you all very much. From the gray white north of from.

Europe, from my extremely Caucasian brethren. Some of those they true, they are, they are probably I don't know you are. I'm sorry.

So anyway, taking a holiday sauna in Finland where many homes have a sauna. It's customary on Christmas Eve to take a sauna with the family. Here, you thought discussing politics over dinner could be awkward after the sauna, finns conteknew the evening celebration, presumably clothed. I should fucking hope skip the sauna and warm up with a Christmas casserole instead.

Bro shit, I'm really from the I am from its white people's ship.

Man hit him with that casserole. That's how you get them, boy.

Yeah, I love me some cash role back off.

I honestly don't know I've ever eaten casserole in my life.

You have eaten cash made cash role if you.

Say so, if I believe you, Oh yeah, is that even a casserole? Though it's a casserole, it's Shepherd's pie with fucking is Shepherd's pie of castle? Right?

It should be?

Because if so, then like yo, I grew up on the ship. Okay, oh well, well I am quite Caucasian anyway.

But I feel like other people eat casseroles. I feel like a lot of people eat cast roles because technically, uh, sweet potato cast roles. You had sweet potatoes the same ship at I don't like it. Oh my gosh, I'm just saying texture.

It's not the taste. Sweet potatoes are great tasting.

I'm just saying, though, that's technically a cast role, green bean cast role.

Why would you put mayonnaise in green bean cast roles?

Ask these white people. I don't listen.

It's mannise in green bean cash. Oh my god, that ship cult members?

Do you put mayonnaise in greening castro Because I have never heard of this Caucasity in my life.

This is this is my problem, This is my problem.

What Okay?

We are in the South where random shake gets thrown into things, and let me tell you, if you're not from here, I have learned through the years to be very cautious about what I put in my mouth when it comes to food down here, because Lord have mercy.

There has been some things that I'm like, it's.

Like a cream of something. Instead of that, it's.

Cream of mushroom.

I do cream and mushroom.

Yeah, no, it's I don't even stand what you're saying. Mayonnaise.

Look, some people, some people's children are just out here, I hope.

As you are doing on your Christmas Eve, if you're listening to us, you are not making green mean castrole with mayonnaise, because like, what.

So gross. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I can't. I don't like mayonnaise at all.

So but I hope that you are making wonderful dishes and maybe you'll make a couple of random new ones as we get into all of this, why do we have Daffy.

Duck in Donald and Daphne Daphne? Okay, so here's the deal. In Sweden a show called calaei unca oach hons, honor oska, god, jewel, holy shit or in English, there you go, Donald Duck and his friends wish you a Merry Christmas. Hey there it is is a must see TV every Christmas. The traditions started in the nineteen sixties and more than forty percent of Sweden still tunes in. I don't know what to say to that, Like, that's a very long thing.

I didn't realize Donald Duck was a vibe anywhere else besides America.

I was Daisy's Donald Daisy, I said, Daphney.

Daphne, Donald d I got Daffy Duck. I was mixing that up Daffy Duck, so Donald Daisy. But uh, apparently Donald and his friends. Wish you a Merry Christmas is something that around half of the country of Sweden still tunes into every Christmas to see.

Good for them.

You know, we have our traditions, we have our TV things that like, you know, our parents generation. It was like we rooted off the Red First Miracle on thirty fourth, Roodolph the Red Nose Reindeer, Santa Claus coming to Town, Charlie Brown Christmas. These things only came on the TV one time, and like that was only three stations back in the day. So when that shit came on, it didn't matter if you're like fourteen, you're coming to sit down and watch with the fam, and like that.

Was a penny, Like Charlie Brown Christmas.

Watch your mouth.

Why I don't why, it's just boring. I've never really liked it. I never really liked Charlie Brown at all.

The monologue from Linus, I believe will probably be the reason why Charlie Brown gets canceled one day. He actually quotes the Bible, and you know how they be feeling about that these days. So yeah, I.

Don't actually remember it.

To be honest with you, I haven't watched it since I was a kid, because I've never messed with it.

So shit, it's on at my mom's house probably one out of every three times we go, even if it's summer, Charlie Brown, Christmas or The Great Pumpkin will probably just be on the TV for the fuck of it.

Really, Yeah, that was my dad's house, would be Westerns and or war movies on repeat.

That's what you like to watch all the time.

So it's a proper jim all right. So now in India they trim a banana tree. So in India, fur trees are not as prevalent, obviously, so celebrants make their make do with what they have banana and mango trees. These trees are adorned with lights and ornaments on the streets, and they're leaves decorate inside people's homes.

That's really cool.

I like that. Okay, So, like the fake tree is just not a thing that's made its way to India, I suppose maybe not. Oh no, no no. In South Africa eating fried caterpillars, let's go.

Oh god, it's so big and squishy? Is that a who hoo grub?

Is that? Who?

Who?

What the hell is a who hoo grub? I'm pretty sure the caterpillar.

No, I'm pretty sure they're who Who's so okay?

Are you making this up?

I'm really not so there is.

I watched a lot of survival shows, and back in the day there were two dudes, and I know one of you that's listening is going to message me and tell me who this is.

So old boy. One of them was barefoot for like twenty five years.

He has a place, almost like a hippie dude. One was like an.

Actual yeah survival jeev even know, God, I can't think of it.

Yeah.

So they went to Africa and they had or it was South America. I don't want to be misquoting. I'm sorry, it's been south.

Of the Equator.

Yeah.

They ate grubs that they called whoho grubs, and oh god, I might actually get a little bit mount Nope. So they put them in their mouths and when they bit into them here.

Yeah, I keep your mouth closed that she'll score it out.

Oh my god.

Yep.

Nope.

So every time I even see something like that, like the amagery, I probably would starve to death. I'm gonna be honest with you.

I am a texture person and just the thought alone.

Nope.

I'm like, you know what, fuck it, I'm gonna die now. But there's just no way, There's no way I could physically hold that down in my mouth, let alone eat it and not vomit everywhere. Just from the texture and the thought process alone, I would I would die.

I would crash out. I'm a baby, Leave me alone. People.

Meanwhile, this past weekend, I went to the Saints game with some former coworkers of mine, and somebody no balls me to try a scorpion shot.

Okay, I've had those.

But a panel you're supposed to swallow the scorpion with the shot. I didn't. I just chewed it up because like why not?

And then oh my god, the little scorpion ones.

Yeah, Like it's like eating a cricket, y'all. It's no big deal.

And it's like a what like okay, Like I can deal with crickets ants, I can deal with scorpions.

Carpenter ants are delicious. They taste like sour apple.

I can deal with them. It's damn grubs that, like I would, I would crash out. I would actually just you're doing that now?

I am. I am.

I really feel some type of way about this and watching that episode. It seared into my brain.

I see it.

I didn't see that picture. I'm just like no, no, no, no, no, no. H.

Well, in South Africa people munch on fried Emperor moth caterpillars on Christmas for extra luck in the coming year. That sounds like somebody just started to dare somebody one day and it just kind of took like wildfire. Oh, they may not bring luck, but a batch of Christmas cookies will certainly bring smiles. You can buy a rabbit's foot for the luck. Yeah, but you know, and if you're in South Africa, you do. As a South Africans, I would have no luck.

I'm dying.

Oh my god, decorating with spinderweb or.

Yeah, we're gonna get to this one. We actually have a whole article about Ukraine in Poland.

Yeah, Ukraine and Poland. That's the thing I want to take away from the article. We got pulled up. But all right, next giving the pudding a st Now, this is interesting. When they say putting, they don't when as Americans or anything putting, we're thinking of something that's more closely. It came to a custard in the UK. When they say a pudding that could mean anything from basically like a cake to spot a dick to something of a

It's pound cake essentially.

In the UK, families all take a turn making the chrisp is putting to stir up. Sunday, the Sunday before the start of Advent, families gathered a stir up a holiday pudding like this plum pudding. Interesting. While the term stir up comes from a century's old Anglican prayer book, today families have adapted the term and use it as a reason to gather with family. Because these puddings are a lot of hard work. Everyone takes a turn helping. Everyone that gives the batter a stir also gets to

I was just thinking about Doctor Seuss and I was like, I was thinking about the spotted spotted a watchman call it. You know, the little bear thing that they wrote a whole book about that had like spots and no spots and this and that. And I was just laughing in my head because I was like, it's fine, I'm a child right now.

I get it. But yeah, apparently it is a lot of work. It takes like hours to do it properly.

So I was reading an article actually, I was debating about which ones to use in this episode, and there was a whole article about how the UK is very strict, not strict, but very set in their ways is what it said, setting their ways when it comes to Christmas traditions and how they adhere to it.

But then they'll go to Boxing Day right after that, and I's like that's completely normal.

I actually don't know what Boxing Day is.

It's the one day year where people move.

What like physically move their homes, like.

Boxing up their shit, like moving addresses.

They have a day for this.

They've selected an entire day where everybody just says, fuck it, let's move.

I mean, granted, yes, they'll have people that move throughout the year, but that is traditionally the day where people will like move residences. And then I asked this was a while background. I first heard like, is there boxing matches like that?

I thought that's what you meant.

I was like, Oh, cool, it's like a whole boxing day where they have like boxing matches and they bet on people.

You would think, no, no, it's just the one day where they'll actually just like move locations or some shit.

Does everybody chime in and help?

Uh, well, it's a federal holiday in the UK, so pretty much nobody's going to work, So if you've got some affairs you need to handle and like move and all these things. And again I'm sure that like that was the thing back in the day. It's a lot different these days, but like it's still a federally recognized holiday.

Well that's pretty cool.

Finding an orange in your stocking. This is something that we do at my house. As a matter of fact, oranges are often found in shoes or stockings on Saint Nicholas Day, December sixth. That is not how we do it. Santa be dropping off an orange in stockings on Christmas? Why why not?

But like, what's the reason for it?

The same reason why there's also an assortment of nuts because it's Christmas?

Is there like any symbology behind it.

Or just like the same reason why I've been giving my children coffee since they were six months old. Listen, this's just what we do here. I don't know. I didn't ask questions when it was done for me. I just said thank you.

So here we are still absolutely ridiculous and do not agree with it.

That's fine, you can disagree.

Why would so you just randomly put an orange in your kids?

It's at the very base where the toes go, just because it's it's wintertime. Everybody needs an orange during the winter, vitamin sea and shit, so you just ok. And then the nuts, Yeah, that's a whole other thing.

I mean, the nuts makes sense to me because like everybody eats nuts during the winter.

And everybody eats cit trist during the winter because that's when it, you know, is ripe.

I don't, I don't know.

That's a thing.

You Southerners be doing some weird shit.

To be fair, I think that might just be a me and my household type of thing.

I've never heard one person tell me that this is a thing down here. Never once.

Oh yeah, that was like. And me and my brother we actually not like the nutcrackers, like the decorative to my dad's got like some bad ass like nutcrackers, and we would get down on like the walnuts, the brazil nuts, the almonds, Oh my god, fresh fresh cracked almonds are my shit. Also, hazel nuts. I know you don't fuck with them, but I love them so much.

I like the actual nut. I don't like hazel nut products.

Yeah, it's just not my jam.

The one that I like, but it's not my favorite is pecan, and I think I just got burned out on them.

I don't. Yeah, pecans get I like. I like the jars of the salty mixture of nuts, and I would we would always fight over which ones that we'd eat, but we'd have jars of those definitely. When I was growing up.

It would be a whole thing at every at every dinner, every party, or.

Just like one in the house and stuff like that. But that's not I don't.

I don't think I have anything that I tradition Well, the only thing I traditionally cook is I always do rice crispies, coolat cheese and Christmas decorating cookies. Yeah, like those are the things that we do. But I don't put anything specifically in my in my families, so.

They do the gin bread houses, but we eat them for obvious reasons. But like we'll start. Yeah, oh this year my dog got onto two of the three of them. I'm falcking pissed about it still, but like it's okay. She's a she's a fat beast. That English mastiff can reach up on most countertops. And I thought they were far enough back. They were not. But yeah, we'll make gingerbread houses like the first week of December. At some point, I.

Really did not know that people eat them. I thought that people just decorated them and kept them, like every every place that I've ever been, people just decorate them and then they keep them for like all of Christmas. Some people are the only person I know that has ever actually eaten them. When you told me that, I'm like, what do you mean you eat these?

We don't like to sit there and eat the whole thing. But like as you know doing going throughout the day, like break off a corner of the roof and you get down on that, you know, and you work your way down the wall.

I don't know, because that's I make them to decorate to put out and then be like look out, get there, and that's what I do with them.

I mean, if that's what you're doing, then why not do cardboard and like you could decorate it and put away with the Christmas decorations and put that bitch back out next year. And it's a whole thing, you know, Like I don't sounds just edible. I don't know. You dip it in your coffee and shit like that's yeah, that's a whole vibe. Well anyway, seeah, were just learning things today number fourteen of fourteen before I even see it. Yeah,

I love the whole Crumpus conversation.

And I do like the movie read one where they showed a different side of Crumpus, like he's not He's not Satan. He was Santa Claus's half brother, yeah, who was helping him, but then kind of he created the naughty List, like that, that legend and Lord the layers of it. I like that a lot.

I actually didn't really like that movie too, so.

We just got done watching it tonight for like the fifth time of the season. It's quickly becoming one of our favorite Christmas movies.

It's a really good one.

And it brings up Gorilla and the Yule Lads. It brings in a lot, you know it does anyway, all right, So that's gonna do it for the first article. And yes we took side tangents because it's Christmas time, y'all

A Actually i've actually heard of this before.

Yeah, so he's got a horse.

Come on.

In traditional el.

I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.

N just keep on singing until someone answers the door. Oh he's answering.

You.

The hoss off one weird, isn't he supposed to say?

So?

Basically, they have to sing there, and you have to sing back at them, and you let them in, and if they don't then they'll pretty much sit outside your door and annoy the absolute fuck of you all night long, singing louder and louder and or.

Mendo gil uh pen.

That's Welsh. What is he saying that? That is not picked Gaelic, that's not Scott's Gaelic, that's not Irish Gaelic. That's Welsh, and that don't sound like no other type of nothing.

I have no idea what he even just said at all.

He's just describing the tradition, I suppose. But anyway, let's see if there's another thing where they might explain how it's pronounced. No, no, no, why would they do that. That's just a thing. Yeah, I'm not going to be able to understand these people. But anyway, so if I am as pronouncing Mary Lude lloyd load, I don't know? Uh is? In the darkest months of the Welsh hear

Yeah, it's terrifying. I'm looking like, it's not even pleasant at all to.

Look at butt in Wales. They just like the foolest thing.

Yeah, it's like stuff of nightmares. But I'm you know, I'm glad they have a tradition then that they've kept alive. I mean, a lot of places have lost a lot of their traditions, so.

They got crumpus. That's supposed to terrify your kids. Meanwhile, you're supposed to be like super welcoming of the ghost horse that knocks on your door and sings at you until you do something. People get down. People be getting down, you know. Anyway, So what does Mary Lewid do? Mary is taken around a village traditionally, often between Christmas Day

Yeah, Wales, she said, I'm not gonna pronounce the U.

I try. I thought about it. I'm gonna try to give you the old college try no fuck all that Welsh things. When she goes from the regions like Welsh Place to the Welsh Valleys, other fault characters like a gesture and a lady. This brings the tradition closer together with the Mummers plays, which we're gonna talk about in a bit, a tradition of performances by the working classes

Is pw nco?

Is that an acronym? Or is that a word? There's only one vowel and it's at the very end.

I you know, I'm just gonna I just spelled it out for them, and so put it.

Is an exchange of rude rhymes with the person who lives there. I have seen that tradition too. Basically, they will it's like a roast battle, but it has to rhyme, and the first person to fuck up loses the game. And it's like it's a whole thing clever Christmas traditions, you know, like it with the person who lives there. If the Mary and her game get entry, the household

How's she gonna chase anybody in that garb like you? You're gonna lose the head let alone? How are you gonna run in that thing?

It's you know? They away? So where did the tradition begin? The first written record of mary Lude is in Jay Evans's book from eighteen hundred, a tour through the part of North Wales. Although the tradition is best known for its practice in Glamorgan and Gwent, it has similarities to other hooded animal customs in Britain, like the hooden ing in Kent, the broad in Cottswolds, and the old tup

Whole It's just like that whole thing and popping up.

At a local midwinter events Slantern festivals and Wallace.

How do you see it? Wasteles, wasteles, their bubbles, bobbles glowing their eyes and tradition shining with new life.

So don't have natemars. Let yourself be taken into the darkness and go with Mary towards the light.

Okay, so here's one of the gestures that you might see traveling with the horse skull and you got the dudes with the sticks, and it's just a whole thing. And they just sing. And I've heard different stories and different traditions. They will sing and sing and sing waiting for someone inside the house to sing back to them. Doesn't even matter if it's the same song, just singing

And if they seen this tradition actually before, and I really like it. I think it's cool.

Usually the head of the house will like join the party and go to the next house with them too.

And they gather more and more and more men as they go, and they like eventually make their way all through the town and stuff.

They'd just be looking for any excuse to get ship housed. Let me real, that's true.

But I mean it's cool that it's actually been revitalizing and brought back and generations are still trying to adhere to old ways because I think so many traditions have died out, especially as the New Age with technology and things like that, a lot of the old traditions are just gone. So yeah, it's pretty cool though, And I didn't know a lot about that, And there's a lot of weird words that. This is why I had you read it, because I was no way would I be able to even try again.

Y'all, I barely speak American English, I don't speak British English.

That we butcher a lot of names on here, there's no way.

Most time most humans can't pronounce Welsh words. Let's just be real.

Here, I'm still confused at the pw that's.

Nice, pwn coo, pondco pond coo. And I'll bet you it's something like, oh, you mean you mean soul. Have you seen them try to pronounce Irish traditional names? Have you ever seen how quava is spelled? No, it's it's ridiculous idea anyway, way, So moving on to the next one. Now,

I know nothing of this, so.

I don't either. I found that it was a Christmas or winter solstice, this time of year type of things, so I was curious, what's up with it? So let's get into it. Among many coaches around the world, there are two types of illnesses. First are those which have a clear physical cause, such as a broken arm. Then there are those which the cause is less readily apparent.

And there's like what seven different ones we've heard about, and we just watched a video yesterday, I think doing research, and there's more little people.

Oh my god. I just found out about a Japanese crew and if you these people have lived in Japan by their own emission, for like seven thousand years. They don't look Japanese, they look Russian, and they their old folklore talks about stone giants and little people that they also called giants. But it's there are elves.

For lack of better words, the ones that they have a little figurines for in their houses.

All over the place. Yeah, I don't know. I think there's something to it. Yeah, I'm not saying which side. It could be fae, it could be aliens, could be demons. I don't know.

Oh, you're saying that the dwarfs technically is that they go by now I don't want to know.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm not talking about like humans who have dwarfism. That's not what I mean. I mean the uh, the creatures which like in Irish and Scottish tradition would be the brownies or leprechauns. Some would call them the elves, some would call them the faith folk. There there's so many different versions of them. What I'm saying is all these cultures around the world, all having their own stories,

See, and everyone gave me ship for being scared of small people.

So, oh my god, I wasn't. I wasn't talking about humans.

I think fair are size.

Yeah, oh, I think some could be, some could be big, small, all in between.

Okay, that's a thing, you don't You.

Don't think that they could be our size too.

Every time they're ever depicted, they are not now in modern tick talk, book lore or whatever the hell, But like actual traditional historical references, faithfolk are not human.

Sized ever know what they could be? I'm not maybe I've never met one, you know, I don't ruin Santa Claus, Welcome to Christmas conspiracy.

Yeah, read about some goddamn tribesquoi.

So apparently, if they had a vision of the dwarf spirits or little people, then the Little Water Society would come in and help them with this great illness. The healing right would begin by placing tobacco on the fire and calling for the spirits of the dwarves. Yeah, I gotta get a good buzz going. I feel that fu.

Yeah.

In cases of an illness, which modern physicians call dementia, the Bear Society would be called in in their healing rights the members would dance counterclockwise around the patient. I don't know what that would do to help heal dementia, but I mean, all right, it's only dumb if it doesn't work. I suppose there were times when the patient would not improve after the ceremony from the healing Society.

Yeah, well, I mean if they somehow magically cured them of dementia, so.

You know, I guess sure.

The actual curing ceremony is sacred and not to be shared with those outside the society. Mm hmm. These are those mystery schools right. Traditionally, the Wooden False Face Society would perform two community rituals each year. During the ceremony, the story of the False Faces is told. The members of the society, wearing the masks, then go through the community, entering the houses and driving out all sicknesses, diseases, and evils. At the present time, there are several concerns about the

Like, how does this tie in to Christmas?

So the two times a year where they will do this, like the one for the entire tribes during the summer solstice and during the winter solstice. Okay, so this was supposed to brought up in the winter solstice context, but this article did not do a good job of explaining that. But getting back on.

I wonder, I wonder if because they carve them while they're in the tree, that they believe they have the entity or spirit of the trees or some kind of entity in it, and that's why they feed it and care for it the way they do.

Maybe, but then it's the way it made a mask after it's put into the coals, which is also.

They invoke, you know, they invoke some type of spirit to be trapped into it to help heal these people.

And so that's why they're feeding it.

Possibly, But I mean it's like you're feeding it white corn mush, which like all right, cool, So even in the off season when you're not using this mask, you're feeding it and it's just going through it like you just is it just like the you're going through the motions so that the spirit gets it. Sounds like a mess to clean up afterwards. I don't know. I don't know anyway. So now this actually is from CNN, believe it or not, The Strange Dark Nights of Romania's Bare Day Dancers Bear Dancers.

Yeah, like they bring bears up into this place.

No, not exactly, but you might think so. So all right, to the outsiders, the site of a troop of dancing bears decked out in blood red tassels, stomping through the snowy streets of a small Romanian town might be a strange, almost sinister site, But for those that live in Romania's Eastern Moldova region, the arrival of the bears actually locals wearing real bear skins, is a time of celebration. The

Gypsy I knew, I said as soon as I I was like, oh man, the gypsies.

Well, I mean we're talking Romania. They're called Aroma, And apparently the Gypsies would come down from the mountains with real bears and use them to drive away evil spirits. And the local community's like, huh, what if we just like wore the bears skins and did it probably be safer right? Hell yeah, I mean it's pretty cool though. I like it. Townsfolks would pay the gypsies in exchange for letting the bear cubs walk up and down their backs seen as a cure for back ache. Listen, I'm

I mean even even the little ones though, have real sharp claws, so I'm not just asking for it.

But all right, I'm not trying to throw shade. But like the old gypsy woman who is over here telling fortunes and telling you how to cure things, Oh yes, if you led the bear cub crawl in your back, it will fix your psiatica bitch, What's that's the dumbest, But they would pay.

Them for It's like maybe the way of it would help pop their back.

You could just give the local fat guy to do that.

Yeah, but if they don't know, if they didn't have knowledge of chiropractic, but the bear cub did. I'm simply saying the weight of the bear walking up and down their spine would pop it, which does relieve a lot of people's sciatic nerve issues.

But I feel like you could just get like a child to do it. I don't know how much the bear cub's way.

I mean, I don't know.

It depends on how big they are I guess, I guess, so, I mean it makes sense in some way of you know, hey, this thing is, you know, doing this, and now my back popped and it suddenly feels better, so hey, it actually works.

It makes sense to me.

If nothing else, just for the novelty of like being able to play around with the bear cub and thing. It'd be worth it whether it did or didn't pop your back, you know.

I mean, they're super cute, dude.

Bears are terrifying, and they have no no business looking as cute as they do for how terrifying they are.

They are really terrifying, Like they really will fuck you up, but they're so adorable they are. It's super cute and I want to touch the dog, but I also don't want to. So I've seen way too many bears out in person, like in the wild.

I don't fuck with him at all.

I still't need a bear rug and then anyone my laugh or a cape down with a cape.

The last time I saw a bear, I was actually hiking with my child and it was just me and him out in the woods in the middle of nothing, and that was a pretty terrifying experience because he was sleeping and I was so who I was so stressed out. He was going to wake up and cry and they were going to realize that I was right there. And it was a whole thing. And man, what kind of bears?

Black bears?

Oh they're peaceful. Yeah, you never hear a black bear attacking anybody. Yeah, it was a mom with three cups. Yep, never mind that would be the only.

So I was sweating it out because I saw the may first and then I saw the head of the mom and I was like, fuck my life. And I had to like try to figure out how to backtrack without her seeing me, without waking up my child.

And it was a whole thing.

And I only had like a small gun on me, and I'm like, this is this is gonna be a thing. We're we're gonna fight to the death over here, over our kids. So I was really stressed. I'm not gonna lie to you.

I was.

I didn't sleep for like three days after that because I was so panicked that my kid was gonna get harmed. Yeah, it was a rough It was a rough one. So then I didn't hike around there for a good bit.

Where is that Tunica?

No, this was this was down the street from my house in Oregon.

Oh oh Jesus, So I know I got black bears up there? Yeah huh, I mean I knew I had bears for sure. I didn't know black bears were native to Oregon. I thought it'd be more like a well, I don't want to just thow out Kodiak and grizzly and shit, but.

Like there is grizzly bears that have come down.

See. I also thought it'd be more of the grizzly variety. But hey, good things. Black bears. They're all over the place. Hell, I've mentioned it before. They just got to such a population in Louisiana where there's now a season.

Lottery estimated thirty thousand black bears.

You learned, so I knew every day.

Yeah. I was like, man, I know you're making me question the bear I saw it. I was like, no, I know it was a black bear.

No no, no.

If you say it was.

Just cougar, cougars will hunt you, like no tomorrow, Yeah they will. We have.

So my dad's where I grew up is in between two canyons. So if a cannon on each side, and there's a long road, and our property was in between so.

You got like proper mountain lions and ship.

Yeah.

So there was a cougar that decided it felt some type of way, and this cougar would wait, I'm not kidding at night for me to get home for my job, and I would have to sit in my car sometimes my truck and not get out because the damn thing would sit out there and just like pace around and like come back and forth.

And I was, well, yeah, and I this was before cell phones.

Don't do you know how old were you?

Let's see, I was fifteen.

Shit, it's probably your dad just didn't sit on the porch and be like got you.

Well, once we figured it out that it was actually kind of because it was it was stalking the livestock behind me into the side of me and stuff like that.

I'm like this motherfucker's trying to wait for me. I am not getting out of my truck right now. Like, there's no way. They're big too. Yeah, they're really big compared to what people think. No, they're really their paws are huge. Nope, Nope, that thing, I swear to you, just like outlived everybody.

I don't even know what their lifespan usually looks like.

I don't know, but I'm telling you that thing never got I know that people shot at it. I don't know if anyone actually ever or killed it, because I would see it every now and again.

Bastard.

I just was worried that I was gonna be eaten.

By damn mountain. Look that fuck that no way, at.

Least it wasn't a random crazy panther of Louisiana. Apparently that we telling you.

I'm telling you too.

We do not have panthers.

We did not.

I looked it up so much, so much research on this.

Okay, if you look online, they will say that we have no large cats that live in Louisiana. I don't give a fuck what the wildlife and fisheries tell you. No, And I have them from my own personal experiences. I have multiple dudes that I've worked with that have multiple trail camps all throughout their personal land that they own. We have large long tail cats that live in the state. Whether the wildlife and fisheries want to acknowledge that or not is up to them. I don't give a fuck.

I don't know anybody that is seen besides you saying that. And I've looked up so much literature on it because I was like, there's no fucking way.

That we have actually a panther that's an African cat. I understand this. This is more like a cousin to a mountain lion. Okay, I get that, but yeah, no, we got them, like for sure.

Hmm.

People can believe what the fuck they want. That's fine. I live in these woods. I know it's up back to the bear, back to the bear in Romania, older bears be So we got the younger bears that are walking on people's backs, and they're super cute, and they're paying the gypsies to do these things. Older bears would be made to dance by being placed on hot metal plates that would make them hop up and down. Oh how cute, No horrible. And these again, these are the

Okay, so it's it's been a good hot minute.

Yeah. Well, now they've just got people that are dressing the skins, because that's more humane.

I don't know what's worse. God, damn what I like? Well, I mean they're torturing them.

It's better for the bear to be dead.

Well, it depends that they're like actually over killing them, or if it's like a population control kind of a thing and you get a tag and you only get a certain amount. I don't believe in killing bears that much, but I you know, depends on how many they are overpopulating and things like that. But sure, sure, I mean to torture them and make them hop up and down on hot plates, burning their feet.

That's fucked up.

But the Gypsies have never been known to be super kind of animals.

That's fair.

No, I'm just saying anyway. Her grandmother, who is now in her eighties, recall seeing Roma leading bears on leashes down from the forest when she was five or six years old. The tradition is very undefined because Roma don't write their history down. I've done research, but no one can figure out how they went from live bears walking

Yeah, that's pretty much what it talks about. Is it dying out?

But as far as the bear dances are concerned, I don't know if this is because over here you see like people in the bear costume and it won't let me shift to the next picture for some reason.

Oh there we go. Oh okay, yeah, we got people.

Wearing actual bearskins doing their dances and things, which.

That was a mask.

Did you see that guy's mask that was That was a face mask. If I've ever seen it, looks like a cleon.

I don't know what that looks like. But hell yeah, trek shit.

Yeah it's truck shit.

I believe that. Yeah. Yeah, dudes rocking the bearskins and the red scarves and they're just walking around doing their dances and things, traditional instrumentation and shit. This is cool.

I mean, hopefully the tradition stays alive and they're able to continuously pass it down.

I like it.

I do. It's pretty awesome.

So now let's shift over to how KFC became a Christmas tradition in Japan. I will give my spiel on the Kernel here in a bit, because boy, I just learned more about him. He went from a gunfighter to basically a failed businessman multiple times over, prolific womanizer. We'll get to all of it. We'll get to all of it here in a bit. But anyway, how did KFC become a Christmas tradition in Japan? Let's get into it here.

I love this.

This is fordicads.

I didn't even know this and I lived in Japan. I mean I lived in Oknawo, so I didn't live in mainland.

But which Okanawa has its own culture separate from mainland.

Oh, for sure, completely, completely.

I mean it's let's get into it here, so it says. The real genius of the campaign was that it didn't try to mimic Western customs. Instead, it gave Japan something entirely new, a fun family center tradition that felt festive without feeling forced. The original package even came with a bottle of wine, nudging the fried chicken into celebration territory. In a country without a Christmas dinner playbook, KFC made its own. So now let's talk about this a deep

I love that it came with a bottle of wine. I mean fried chicken and wine. Like you talking dirty now, because we've got an old japan man.

Because when I think of KFC, I I'm also thinking, like, yo, they might have some cab.

I'm just saying Netflix and chill kind of vibe.

Yo.

You bring that box chicken boy and that wine like you only get laid.

You're bringing that bucket of chicken in a bottle of wine.

That good old Christmas.

They bring Kentucky into the Japan. It's what it is they're bringing the trailer park to Tokyo.

Like this, This is wonderful tradition.

Today, Japan's Christmas season doesn't begin with sleigh bells. It starts when KFC Japan opens pre orders. What slaying them bells? Uh?

Yeah myself, you're good.

It starts with KMC Japan opens pre orders in late October. These people are pre ordering get buckets of chicken in October for Christmas.

N This is so awesome. This is even better than like down the street ordering your turkeys like a mom in advance because.

They don't have turkeys there, but they do got that KFC bucket though they oh my god.

They got that country chicken.

Bro, what the fuck? They have timpoora chicken. But that's not the point. KFC man was like, listen, I got a wild marketing pitch. Just hear me out hear me out here we are.

How did I not know this? And I lived over there?

Oh whoa? Okay, no, but I keep reading this. Oh shit, I just saw the numbers. Okay. So Kentucky for Christmas has become a logistical operation as much as a holiday tradition, with some customers ordering weeks in advance to avoid standing out in line for hours. According to KFC Japan, Christmas Eve remains its busiest day of the year, with some store selling over ten five to ten times more than usual.

Holy shit, sixty three million dollars and five days off of the Lord's Chicken of Country Chicken.

Bro what can good tie is the Lord's Chicken as far as that's concerned. But like, hold on, hold on, these people in Japan are.

So really like I like KFC. I'm not gonna lie.

It used to be better.

Well, I mean, there's a reason for that. The only one I went to is one in like in Podunk nowhere. That's the last one I've been to, and it was really good actually.

But so I'm gonna give you all a backstory. There's also a reason why your boy Dave from Wendy's made his store what it is, and it does tie back to the Colonel. But anyway, okay, so just break this down.

Wow, that's twelve million, six hundred dollars a day.

Yeah, for five days straight, they're making twelve million profit.

That's okay. Sorry, I just I had tod the quick math and I'm like, holy crap.

Yo, I ain't mad at it. I'm I'm stoked that KFC has found them a niche market and they're just leaning into it. But like, holy fuck, Tokyo, what is happening here? Where it's God's zilland when you need them anyway? So they have value meals back in twenty twenty two, offering everything from whole roasted chicken with stuffing to cakes, sides, and commemorative plates. Each year, the party barrel gets a new design and some stores even dress up the kernel

Wait, we need to hit up crypto women and ask her if this is a real thing.

You know what, I'm jealous. I don't have a KFC crew Smiths tree ornament.

I feel like we can just find one this.

Come on, man, I actually do you buy my mom every year a Starbucks ornament? Like, for like the last I don't know, eighteen years, I bought her a store Starbucks cup ornament.

And it was founded in Portland. Right, that's an organ thing.

I think Seattle.

Oh sorry specific Northwestern excuse me, don't want to miss I don't want to misappropriate your your inheritance, settle your your culture there. But anyway, moving on, So what started as a clever bit of marketing has turned into an annual ritual that is festive, efficient and unmistakably local. Oh very much so.

It was what it was Seattle. I was crazy.

I was like, man, I know it's not organ Yeah, I have been corrected. These are not interchangeable dialogues. They are not. They're not They're different, thank you very much. So just like Alabama and Georgia, these are completely different places, allegedly completely different, with so many cultural differences. Said someone's time, I'm sure.

So.

Anyway, there are plenty of holiday food traditions around the world, but few are as unexpected or as enduring as Japan's deep fried December. Just don't forget to pre order. Wow, So these people are these people are doing the mostest with the colonel. So all right, talk to.

Me about the colonel. What happened with him?

So he didn't actually start KFC until he was in his sixties.

Oh for real?

So he was. So he was a prolific cheater on his wife, like and was not shy about it. And at one point in time she basically took his three kids and took off, and he got her back and essentially just got right back into the same thing. He worked a sales job here and there. He just kind of had odd jobs just to make ends meet, and one day he decided that he through a weird chain of events, he ended up owning a gas station and

Oh oh yeah, okay.

He named the restaurant chain after his granddaughter. The original Wendy is still currently the CEO with the red hair, although she's like, god, she's eating way too much Wendy's. But but's at the point, beside the point, okay, So cut to KFC. He goes public, he sells his company, and he made a few million off of it, and that's fine. He also was such a prolific foul mouth person because he was a veteran that basically they understood if he was walking into the store to like be

Yo, everything about him except for the prolific cheating I'm here for.

I'm not saying he was perfect. I'm saying that he's a fucking wild guy. Like there's the story with the lawyer, and shit, we're not sure if he beat his client with a chair or if the client threw a chair at him, but somehow a chair was used as a weapon. Dave came out on top and he lost his lawyer license. Okay, yeah, the colonel excuse yeah, but uh yeah. So somehow this went international to the point of making it to Japan, and then one day this homeboy was like, listen, man,

It's such a cool, like random, weird fluke tradition that has taken off and I love it.

It's great.

What is what is this? What are we doing here?

We're having some yo, That's what I'm gonna bring.

Now, I'm gonna go find me a bucket of KFC.

I'm gonna find me a KFC, get me a tree ornament and some wine, and then like, what's up? What's up? Man?

Sounds like the most white, tragic, whole bucket, whole bottle. Fuck the utensils. We don't need the We're here the wine. Christmas, y'all for.

The fucking party. I'm gonna show up in my ugly Christmas sweater, yo, but I gotta bring I will say, I gotta bring that mashed potatoes and gravy because they got that ship on point. I love me some mashed potatoes and gravy from KFC. If you say so, I know you're.

A no no, no, no no. I used to like KFC back when it like when I was younger, before he sold.

It apparently in like a few years. But the little podunk nowhere one, it's really good, but.

They stopped by one one day. Maybe the standards have been red.

I feel about Popeyes.

Popeye standards has dropped and their prices has skyrockets.

So ever since they came out with the spicy chicken sandwich and like that went viral. That's like all they're doing now. They're chicken trash their sandwiches. Okay, but like that's anyone anyone. So moving on to the next thing.

You have the poop one. Let's talk Barcelona.

Barcelona Spain's pooping Christmas log.

I'm so happy the wild tradition.

Of kaga teo. M hm, I'm sure I'm mispronounced that. Maybe it's a soft g. I don't know so anyway, my first December in Barcelona, when I lived there a few years back, I noticed something odd amids the winter holiday displays small logs with smiley faces, tiny wooden legs,

I love it so much.

Yeah, I don't know why.

So it makes me so happy because it's like such a cheerful little poop log.

Yeah. If for any of the cult members that are not seeing what we're looking at right now, please come to Patreon so you can witness this.

I'll describe it really quick for those of you that can't see it. So it is a log that's sitting on like a wood Yeah, it's like a wooden log sitting on two legs in the front that are taller, with two smaller legs in the back. This one has a little red cap on its head, kind of like the French beret.

Yep.

It has a cute.

Little smiley face with a little nose, and it has a little scarf dress situation that's covering like its back half so where the poop would be.

So just so you can understand what we're talking about.

So the log is sitting squatted dog style here basically, and you pretend to feed it every night, and on Christmas Eve you lift up the skirt and there's just little presents for you and it's shit.

I really want to do this. I don't really want to do this. I love it.

It's so fun, ye know. The kids will probably really get a kick out of this, like this is so good. Oh my god. You give it something to eat every night and it is gone in the morning. Barcelona mother Monica Vallejo explains Fileto says she and her kids would give the log leftovers from dinner or whatever was around. She says some families go further to ensure their little wooden trunk will actually be able to do the doo doo.

What is this, It's healthy poop. They need to make sure that poop's healthy. It's on regular tracks, so that way they can get their little presents. This is fantastic for everyone.

This is my favorite one so far out of every tradition that we have read period.

This is my favorite.

The jokes right themselves too, because I can see like there's no presence for one day, like what is this? Oh, I guess uncle, shit, it's a little constipated. Maybe we should give like in reality, like the parents didn't go get anything that night. There's like, yo, I don't know, feed them fucking fiber. I don't know what to tell you. And then on the other hand, if you give them too much fiber, I wonder what present diary looks like, like what would be like unwrapped presents, like the wrapping

Max so good, all right, continue on.

Valo is the owner and general manager of Hostle Grouse, the eco friendly I've watched your Place boutique in Barcelona, where she keeps the cognitive.

Cogatio I don't know why.

That doesn't sound right, but also called the t O Day Nadal or Christmas log in in December as well, she says holidays. She says, holiday guests at the hotel find the tradition cute and strange. They don't understand it.

Given the ship, who would understand this?

I mean, yeah, it's cute, but also like, yo, what the fuck are y'all? Doing Barcelona.

Given that Vallejo herself concedes, there's no why. There's no reason for the pooping log for foreigner guests, confusion is understandable.

There's no rhyme or reason. Just go with it, okay.

The origins of the poop log.

Okay, okay, you want me to take it?

Sure?

Right, As Valeo explains, the practice originated in the countryside. Oh, I'll bet there's no way the snooty city folk came up with this concept. There's absolutely no fucking way there. Families burned a special log over the holidays, representing light and togetherness.

So like you a log, Yeah, no doubt.

Once it was gone, they spread its ashes in the fields in a symbol of fertility and regrowth.

So pretty much the same.

Okay. Somehow that growth translated into a log that gets fattened up for two weeks in December until it finally has to have a movement in a tradition that steeped into Cataloan cities in the nineteen sixties. Oh, this is relatively recent. Okay, this isn't like a long standing tradition from way back in the day's years old. So nope, in the sixties they're just like al right, I.

Bet somebody got high as fuck and it was like, hey, so this log needs the poop and like we need to fatten it up, kind of like a like fatten um the.

Old guy taking a rail of coke log ship presents for the kids. It's like, bro, what.

I was thinking of Hansel and Gretel kind of a vibe where like she needed to fatten up them up. So like maybe it's just blended a couple of traditions together or heard some stories and you know, now we need to fatten the log up that ships out presence. And I am doing this. I am gonna make one and post a picture on the coal on the Patreon.

I'm making one. It's happening.

Okay, sure, so you'll have you have your Yule log on the table and you also have the poop log by the tree.

Yeah, it's not gonna it's gonna be what. We're gonna have a lot of logs going on out of my house with my KFC bucket and my wine. Yes, I'm having all of it. I'm gonna go out of my way to have all of the traditions. I can, you know what, just to have a good old time to celebrate.

Yea, so we are one day when you have grandkids that are gonna come over to your house and not know what the going on.

The whole table ship, I'm gonna have like a horsehead. Oh my god, No, no, the horsehead with the decorations. I'm gonna have ulog.

I'm just showing down a great time.

This is gonna be the best Christmas ever. But I'm so excited, y'all. Oh my god, this is so good. This is the thing that's gonna have to happen for sure. Yes, we must go out of our wage to do all this.

There's so many random juggling pieces that don't even make sense. But just like Vallejo said, listen, don't question it, just fucking go with it.

To go with it, Okay, who explains the practice originally?

Yeah, in the sixties. Although you can purchase one of these smiling chunks of timber in a store or market, Dude, they're okay, yeah, because it's making one is just too that's too crazy. But they seldom if you scroll, yo, they straight up sell this.

Yes, so they have, Oh they have. They have made masksoplugs, they have a whole industry around it, but it says the place for parents with young kids to get one is where logs come from the woods. Shocker train so hard not to laugh, yo.

The annual search for the hidden log is known in Catalonian simply as Concastitians, bro Caucassians or the hunts. So this is like a whole Christmas tradition instead of going to the tree farm cutting down a Christmas tree to bring it into your home and decorate a family. You got people in Catalonia who are going out into the woods to find logs. They look like a real shit worthy you know what I'm saying. Does that log look hungry? Does it look like it will shit? Good presence for us? Brok,

Wo.

So parents could take their kids to a special kagatillo forest run by a small band, run by a small business, where they've been hidden for the children to find. Oh my god, it's a treasure hunt. Small towns in Catalonia offer options to find cago tillos in their woods to those who would have prepaid about thirty five dollars and encourage families to stay afterwards to enjoy a long family

I fucking can't whoever wrote.

This, God, damn you get the assignment.

Yeah, I'm trying so hard not to lie.

As that tooting tree trunk will belong to your family for many holiday seasons to come. Once they have the kakatilla at home and being fed each evening, kids actually think it's getting bigger. Valleo says. By the twenty fourth of December, the kakatilla is gordito or chubby and ready to go number two. But the little piece of wood who needs some privacy to do his thing, okay. In religious families, kids are told to head into the bedroom

How are they making it look fatter? How are you fattening up a lot?

I guess you're just like playing cognitive dissonance with your children, like straight up, like, oh man, that is getting fat. Yeah, moment is see see it's like, what the fuck, dude, it's a log.

These kids are like it, you got elves that we need?

I do be doing the elves on the shelves.

I didn't say it was like Americans got the damn l is everywhere.

Yo's a new tradition.

Does anybody else do elves on the shelves like globally?

So?

I watched an episode of Shark Tank when they did mince on a bench for like the Jews out there that want to do their own thing for Hanukkah. Yeah, it's not nearly as popular as elf on a shelf shakra right now, but apparently that's the thing, and I don't know of any other. You're good, I'm so good.

I'm so good.

Oh. I have to look this up for you because this is the minch on a bench is it's so silly.

I don't know why I thought about Snoop Dogg with ank Yo, Like, I don't know, a little.

Yeah, mince on a bench. This is a thing that you could buy for your Jewish family.

We have to buy one for Royce.

Oh kind of looks like maybe if he gets like when Royce has kids on you know, they got a whole moose. He has a buddy who's antlers are the Minora No, oh my god, his his his wife Ruth, and his daughter Rebecca. Obviously. Yeah, I'm so sorry family.

I'm trying really hard not to last.

There's a fucking Minora zebra. What is happening?

Yo.

The dog's got Drado's for spots. That's supposed to be a Dalmatian. Look at this shit. That's great, that's great, Oh my god. And for the record, I have no idea how popular that is. I remember seeing that with Shark Tanker was like, there's no way they're gonna invest, and then one of them did, and I'm like, maybe I'm just missing the ever present Honka market here, but whatever.

Maybe I maybe I didn't even do it till the last four years.

Earlier four years. I remember hearing about it when I was in the Marine Corps, but like, we didn't have kids at that time, and when we fed our first kid, he was so young he wouldn't have known no different. When we got back to Louisiana, it says this is twenty fourteen, it had like taken off.

Oh, I didn't even know that was a thing until really, I mean I heard it and that I saw some people doing.

I'm like, I don't doing that dumb shit.

But there's like a whole book that goes with it. Now there's movies. Now I have eight elves, so yeah, you go abum, and beyond with that.

There's I have two I have two parents and six babies.

It's a mess. Yeah, it's a it's a whole thing.

So I had to explain to my kids, like we didn't have Elf on the shelf growing up, and like wait why, And I'm like, Santa decided to do it just a couple of years back because all y'all kids are so bad. He needs to send some extra eyes a spile on y'all asses, and they bought it. But like, yeah, that's we work better at being kids than y'all. I don't know what to tell you. Man, Yeah they got

When when the kids return, the weirdness continues. The children have to courage the poop blog to expel the presence by hitting it with the stick.

It sounds aggressive, but it's gentle. The kids don't hit hard. You stimulate it to go poop.

I fucking can I can't emulate the log to ship by tapping it with sticks? Why? Why? But for why does is that what y'all do to people who are constabator to start beating with the tongs. It's a movement in there.

You can be four kids at once hitting it, okay, recalls Hugo, now a college student, having having a pooplog for his pre his preschool classes. Little kids can't hit it that hard. It's more about the tradition and singing the song. There's a song there, there's a song. I can't wait for this all right.

The song has kids asking the poop uncle to poop out nuts and turrun, a sticky sweet nougat that's popular throughout Spain over the holidays, and specifically not to poop out salty fish. Bro What what is happening here? In fact, that's pretty much all they get for their efforts. Candies Okay? So what?

Wait? Is there an English translation? Yes? There is? Please the poop log song, y'all?

Ok here we are pooping log almonds and nuggets. Don't poop herrings as they are too salty. Poop nuggets as they are better pooping log almonds and nugats. If you won't poop, I'll hit you with the stick. Wow.

I don't know. I think that's how it goes. Yeah I know, but yeah, so pooping long all, pooping log almonds and nuggets.

Don't poops nuggets. Don't poop herrings as they are too salty. Pooping nuggets nuggets as they are better. Pooping log almonds and nuggets. If you won't poop, I'll hit you with a stick is a song that we must sing.

To the log, to the log to make it shit, to stimulate it.

Candies and presents, Oh my.

God, this is like the best one ever.

So that was for the candies. Yeah, and now let's talk about it pooping out presents. Okay, the presents are small things like sweets. It's not a Sony PlayStation. I know why not. But now we're drawing the line on what the log can shit Jesus, we're gona wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, candies are one thing. You're telling me it's pooping on ne xtbox. That's a bit crazy. It's a fucking log, dude. I'm here for you. I like it. Uh, the bigger

Uh.

It's just as well they aren't any PlayStation since Cago Tea is strictly for small kids. Oh, I should hope so. Bvalleo says that while most kids can believe in Santa Claus or the Three Kings until they are eight years old, that's not the case with the Cagatillo. By age four, they have a hard time accepting that a salt tree trunk can expel presents from its backside. We thank god when they are two or three years old, it's like matt When they are four years old, it's complicated, says

Okay, I was I'm sorry we laughed so much.

I am not. That's hilarious and the author understood the assignment.

Yeah, the author really did us dirty there.

The author's name is Noel shut Off. Dude. Oh I love it. I love it. Okay, okay, wow, now let's go to Ukrainian legends.

Oh Christmas Spider, the Christmas Spider.

I thought this is kind of cool, so for those of you that don't know, I'm terrified as spiders, but I actually thought this was kind of cool because they decorate their trees and spiderwebs.

Which I kind of thought was more like a U you know, this is hell we I thought it was like a nightmare before Christmas thing. It's actually a pretty like wild story, but like a good story. So let's get into it here. Every Christmas, I love to think of the modest Ukrainian home where a little miracle once happened, A miracle still found on Christmas trees around the world, carried by families like yours and mine. It's a tail care through generations, passed from our grandparents to us and

That is a really pretty ornament. Oh it isn't like an all gold, really nicely done ornament. That's a spider.

That's that's dope. Let's get into it here. So the legend of the Christmas Spider. Once upon a time, a poor widow lived in a small hut with her young children. On a warm summer day, a pine cone fell through the roof and, against all odds, took root on the floor of the small home. As the seasons passed, the children nurture the growing tree, imagining it could be their Christmas tree. When winter arrived, the tree grew, but when

That's pretty legit.

So the origin of this folk tale is unclear. Some say it travel from Germany, Others insist it is firmly rooted in Ukraine. What we do know is that it stems from an ancient European belief associating spiders with good luck for generations. People believe that brushing away a spider's web during brings misfortune.

Uh.

This person, who is a curator at the Ukrainian Museum in New York, leans strongly toward a Ukrainian origin placed in the tradition in the late nineteenth or early twentieth century, and it's very long story. Many believe that eventually inspired us to use tinsil. Really that he believes that that might be where actual tinsil came from.

Wow, I didn't know that.

Which also again, this as an ornament.

It's actually really pretty cool cool.

It's a golden spun spider web, but that is like a detailed out.

I mean, I don't know if it's like a golden lay.

I don't know, but I love it. Look, you got golden glittery spiders on that, bitch. You got some golden spider webs for the hell of it.

It would look really good with my dark goth theme Christmas tree.

This will look cool on a Halloween tree and then the Christmas tree.

Yeah, I like it.

I like it for it. So, you will often find tiny spider ornaments known as as povushki yeah, decorating a Ukrainian Christmas tree. Traditionally, these were made from simple materials like paper, straw or wire. Today, patufki come in all kinds of styles. You can find hand crappt in folk designs, or even delicate beaded versions. Some households also drape light artificial cobwebs across the tree.

Once again, that's really cool.

I like it. So today the legend of the Christmas Spider feels just as meaningful as it did over a century ago. In Ukraine and across the diaspora, this little tale still brings a quiet sense of comfort. It reminds us that beauty often appears in the most unlikely places, and that even the smallest creatures can bring a moment of hope when we need it most. And really, that's why we continue to tell the story in moments of uncertainty or distance, whether from loved ones, loved ones, or

I really liked that. I didn't actually know the legend. I honestly picked it because I thought it was really unique. Just I kind of skimmed it and I was like, oh, okay, I'm spider web sounds great.

Want to kind of look into it more. That's actually a really sweet story.

That's also something that I think could go on the Christmas tree.

Regardless, I guess we're gonna have to get some spiders out.

I'd be like, shocker, I only have like nine thousand totes of Halloween, so we're good.

I'm good for my house.

Gold spray paint one of the spiders. You already have them Halloween's be like, hang a hook from that and be like, bom you crying to hear.

As fuck, I'm gonna have to just do all these traditions all at once because as of time of recording, we are a few days out from Christmas Eve. Yeah, so it's gonna be a whole vibe to slap them all together.

Indeed. Indeed, so now we're going to go down another list and we're gonna briefly go over some of these. Some of these who already covered, so we're not going to touch them. But the strangest Christmas traditions from around the world. This is for Regent Holidays dot UK Christmas with the KFC in Japan. Are you talking about the Umm? What is this one? Next? Hiding broomsticks in Norway? Oh?

Yeah, this is an interesting one.

So from a stay in the world's most northern old on let me zoom in on. Next, My eyes aint what they used to be good cult members? Apologies, I need glasses. From a stay in the world's most northerly town to sleeping in the bucket list snow resort kirk Kings, a winter break in Norway is packed full of unique and extraordinary experiences, but for something wholly out of the ordinary.

Yeah. Have you never heard this one before?

I haven't y'all. Do y'all know the first time that there was ever a witch writing a broomstick was a fourteen hundred's manuscript.

Wasn't it by that one guy that uh went kind of crazy on witches And he wrote like multiple manuscripts about hunting witches and women and all this stuff very possibly.

Yeah, that checks out. But sure, so we got to hide all the broomsticks that they don't get stolen by all them evil winter witches, you know. Okay, hey, why not? Unfortunately, we've had this holiday tradition actually verified by a Norwegian person, and it seems likely that joy riding witches aren't in really reality a feature of Norway's national holiday. Okay, okay, but if you're celebrating Christmas in Norway, then jewel board

The holiday. What's talk about planning the holiday? There?

Yeah, nothing beats a K two holiday anyway. So enormous Christmas goats in Sweden. Now about to say that, why does I feel like this ties into thor.

There's a lot of different stuff that well, this is ties into Yule and Saint Nicholas.

Mm hmm, okay, let's get into it here. A strange tradition's fair A gigantic straw goat statue has to be up there. Dating back to Picking times, the story of the Yule goat has morphed over the centuries, from a sacrifice to a god of harvest to Saint Nicholas's symbol of control over evil in the eighteenth or the eleventh century.

Now.

I actually have a little you'll goat. Yeah, I have a couple of them. I put it out so.

Very interesting. So fortunately the local fire station is just around the corner, and the blaze can usually be put out before the goat's skeleton is damaged. The city rebuilds the old goat in time for Christmas. The Govely Goat has now become damaged or destroyed and astonishing thirty eight times. Despite this, it is still it is able. It is

Who That is an elaborate goat outfit. It's like a goat head with I don't even know what to describe that.

That's like the damn Lama off of Fortnite.

It does look like the Lama off of Fortnite, with the same little rushing side pieces.

Yeah. M so. Romania is a fascinating country to visit, but even more so if you happen to be there on Christmas Eve, when you might catch the sight of men dressed as goats called copra walking through the streets accompanied by singers. The traditional garment warred by the copra are brightly colored with a wooden goat mask and sheepskin on their back. In some areas, this lively tradition is undertaken on New Year's Eve. But whether you get to

I need somebody from Greenland. If this reaches you, I need you to talk to us about this.

This is the spot where Trump wants to take over.

There's a lot to be said though about the conspiracy of Greenland again in it being like the perfect place to survive pretty much everything, and also having he bought a whole bunch of land over there. You can't fly over top of it. There's a whole bunch of treaties that have happened. There's a whole bunch of things that have gone on about this is the place, yeah to go.

Y'all are eating raw whale and like rotten birds for the hell of it. Because it's Christmas, y'all can have it. Dude, y'all can really stop there. Look at this place. Look how white and snow it is.

Yeah, you shouldn't be poaching whales. Just saying I don't think.

They're poaching them. I think they're allowed to kill them.

Most whales are protected now because they've been.

Buy who green Peace. I'm joking. I'm joking. I do believe we should protect whales.

No, there's actually been there's a lot of places that even China has whale restriction laws now in some place.

Oh yeah, you know they're not following that.

There's actually a lot of things have happened to protect the whales because so many of them are going extinct or they've pretty much or they've killed off the entire population of the types of whales.

Huh.

Yeah, No, it's a big thing globally. It has been pushed.

There's new information. Me.

Okay, I follow a I belong to a whale thing.

I'm not shocked, raven.

Yeah, no, I belong to a whale group. And like I've I read all about it and stuff.

It's one of those it's like one of those weird things that I'm super passionate about. Don't ask, oh whatever?

Uh did you know that in Greenland, mata and kivak are considered a great delicacy reserved for Christmas. Matak is whale skin with some blubber attached that is supposed to be chewed, but is often just swallowed as it can be a little tough. Apparently it tastes like coconuts what so they basically they're not even frying it. They just like skin the whale and leave a little bit of fat on it and it tastes like coconuts.

Okay, okay, sure, I'm a texture person, so just like, oh yeah, that's.

Why I'm saying they're just they're just swallowing a whole Just say fuck it. Kiviak is made from the raw flesh of auks, a small Arctic bird. The auks are buried in seal skin a long time before Christmas and then dug up to eat when they have been when they have reached an advanced stage of decomposition.

Andrew Zimmer did this?

He ate this? Who?

Andrew Zimmer?

Why? Yeah?

Have you never seen the guy that goes around the world and eats all the nasty food?

Oh?

The ball guy.

Oh, I'm obsessed with him, by the way. He's fantastic. But no, he ate one of these things. That's why I knew as soon as you're reading it. I was like, oh, okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, So I thought this was going to be closer to the fermented shark. And I don't know which country.

I think it might be Norway that does that, but you said Norway.

Yeah, yeah, they apparently.

It tastes like coconuts. I can't get over that right now. Oh yeah, and then the advanced stage of decompensation. I wonder what it tastes like, Like, I wonder what the smell is. I wonder if it smells like that stuff. That the nastiest tasting or nastiest smelling thing, Moti Durian.

Yeah, I mean that that fruit smells like rotten flesh, and apparently it tastes for people that have the palette for it. It's great.

You know that can that you can open up and have ever seen people try to eat? I know that I would vomit as soon as that smell would hit me. I'd be done. I don't have a weak stomach at all, but there it smells and textures will do me in any day of the week.

They make ice cream out of it. There's Durian ice cream, you know, for the zombie and all of us. I guess you could say ice cream. Yep, zombies are so cool. I know, I know, maybe you would like Durian. Maybe your palate would probably get down.

No fucking way I would be able to survive that. I don't know, There's no way. But I've smelled those those hundred yr eggs before.

Oh my god.

I smelled one one time, and the amount of just sickness that I had.

Is that the one that's fermented and young Boy's pissed for one hundred years that's what they do. In China. They have like young virgin boys pee in a bucket and a ferment boiled eggs in this and that's like a delicacy for the What is.

With people and children? Can't they just leave fucking kids alone in all capacities, like, just stop, they're gross, leave children alone. I don't know.

It was like Vietnam with the bloat, the fucking duck eggs that have the duck in it.

Oh yeah, i know I've seen that.

Fuck that.

Oh man, they ate that on a fear factor.

I'm sure they did. I'm sure. Meanwhile, Vietnamese people are getting down on this. That's a Christmas tradition as well. It's like a holiday seasonal thing, and it's like, y'all are fucking crazy, but they think we're crazy for not getting down on it. The little beak in the little it's little feathers is like, you'll fuck you, that's nasty. I'm sorry. My texture alone would not allow this, man. I'm just I'm not trying to knock your tradition or heritage.

It's great. Let's go back to.

This, Let's go back to the decomposed bird.

Like, let's go back to that blo that's raw and that decomposing bird.

Yeah, because man, the bloat to this transition is actually a little closer than you think with the decomposing bird.

These poor cult members. If you are listening to this while you were eating or fixing your holiday tradition.

Just go back to listen about the poop log. You're fine and KFC and KMC and wine there you go. Don't fancy it, don't worry. There just is usually barbecue cariboo on the menu. Two because yeah, but you know, if.

You're not, I'm here for it.

You don't like the raw whale skin or the decomposing bird, well we also got caribou barbecue, Like, well, let's do that obviously, bro wow it. Or you could always join in with the Christmas Eve tradition of wearing national clothing to a church service for men that's a white on rock or color chosen because of the chosen. For the hunters, it would mean they could blend into the snowy landscape.

Oh no, I can ask you it behind that one. Okay, that's pretty cool.

Goods for you. The number six giving treats to the Christmas mummers in Latvia. And we mentioned the mummers a little bit earlier, but so we're gonna get a little deeper into this. In Latvia, mummers roam the street during Christmas Christmas time. But what are mummers? We hear you cry. A tradition in a number of Northern Hemisphere countries, even

I didn't know that at all. That's interesting, the.

Okay, I mean to be honest with you. The earliest record I've found of a Christmas tree was in Germany in the thirteen hundreds and fourteen hundreds, which we're gonna talk about on the episode tomorrow when we talk about traditional Christmas and how there are certain pagan ties and certain not in the way that you might think the earliest record of the Christmas tree is in Germany. But if they do have some sort of a historical precedence that predates that, I would love to hear more about it.

Well, I mean, we did talk about their Finland tradition abo about saunas, so hey, I'm here for this.

At first glance, this might feel a bit morbid, but it is in fact surprisingly uplifting and beautiful too. On Christmas Eve, families in Finland visit the resting places of their lost loved ones and light a candle to place on the grave. Not only does this tradition help people to remember those they have lost, it turns cemeteries into tranquil, glittering havens of light that some choose to walk in just to appreciate their beauty. I could see them. The

I need a sauna Elf. Now, what kind of.

Treats you're gonna leave in a sweat box that's not gonna be nasty?

Maybe like little towels folded up with a little little water.

That's the treats.

Yep, little a little water, A little split serve there.

That's hilarious.

I love it.

Oh man. Okay, so now we've talked about the Icelandic Yuel cat.

Before Juel Cat, we have talked to Yeah, you guys did talk about that.

But what about the rotten potatoes?

The rotten potatoes.

I didn't know anything about that.

Okay, so he's not going.

There, pad children don't get coal and Iceland at Christmas, they get rotten potatoes. Okay, Yeah, you read that correctly. Icelandic Christmas folklore tells the stories of monsters who live in the mountains of these They are the sons of Gorilla, known as the thirteen Yule Lads mashievious boys, who come to visit children on thirteen nights and lead up to Yule.

I'm doing this.

I'm not mad at I'm doing this because like we don't wide our homes with coal anymore. But like, I bet I could find a bag of old potatoes somewhere.

I'm just gonna leave them out. I'm gonna hide them somewhere. I'm gonna put them in the forest down the street and then I'll just go there and get them.

In the forest. Yeah, you could just like leave them in your garage and just let.

No, because I'm sure them kids are gonna be like, would you gotten here? Smells like, oh he does rotten potatoes?

I know this.

And put them in their good shoes too, they gotta go to school.

Smell the nikes. Yeah, fuck your creases.

I won't put potato.

For those with children that are in the teenage years. You will understand this reference very much so. And them creases can't crease the nikes, dude. Yeah, they even sell anti crease things. To insert into them because God forbid they crease them shoes.

That's so silly, but anyway, yes, uh so. Grilla and the Yule Lads also have a pet called the mule cat, a giant, vicious animal that prows the snowy countryside. The holiday tradition of mule Cat is thought to go way back, though there are only written mentions of the mythical creatures since the nineteenth century. The story goes that farmers would reward their workers with new clothes for getting their work done in time for Christmas. Those who didn't would be eaten by the mule cat.

Mm hmm. Yeah, there's a lot more to it, but.

Yeah, this I'm just saying. You can imagine being an adult working out.

It has a theme for clothes. Man, I love the mule cat. It's great about that.

If it's like, if you're wearing tattered clothes, the cat will like fuck you up.

Yeah, Like it has a whole there's a whole story about the cat and clothes and and we'll have to talk about tomorrow.

For you Jesus. Okay. Now, in early Christmas in the Philippines, from tropical beaches to bustling city, streets. A festive break in the Philippines is full of vibrant sights, sounds, and experiences, but for something truly extraordinary, the Philippines holds the world record for celebrating the longest Christmas season on the planet. That's right, Filipinos start decking the halls as early as September.

Oh, I forgot. I remember this now, and.

Of spirit often stretches all the way through to January. Expect twinkling lights adorning streets, shopping malls and homes with colorful paroles, traditional star shaped lanterns lighting up every neighborhood. Christmas songs fill the air almost year round, from jeepneys and radio stations to restaurants and markets, creating a joyful soundtrack to daily life.

Honestly, I would not be mad at this. I'm not gonna lie to you. I would be pretty pumped.

Yeah, I'm not mad at that at all. Anyway, I think we only yeah, now, we have the solstice traditions.

But you know what, I think we should save it for tomorrow.

I think we will. I think we are going to save that for tomorrow. As a matter of fact, so any of a good cult members this has been a wild ad d fever dream through all of the crazy Christmas traditions from around the world. Some of these I actually might start implementing at my house. Some of these are going to be left exactly where I found them. The whale blubber can stay there, they can keep.

That stand by for my pooplog. Also my potential sauna elf and your KFC, my KFC and the wine. Yep, it's happening. Why not, right, I'm here for all of this.

Tis the season, as they say, Uh well, yeah, there's so many logistical things of that poop log that just don't make sense to me.

Love this, Like, I don't have anybody that would actually like fall for this, but I think because I'm gonna explain the tradition and we're just gonna have fun with it, and maybe we'll like put the elves hiding out at the back of it, like sticking out the back.

I just fucking with them.

Oh my god, I.

Can't wait for this. This is gonna be a glorious time Tomorrow's Tomorrow's plan of.

Attack is to get me a log at least one. At least one, I might need to poop blogs for the fun of it.

Oh my godside your door you did, I'm.

Gonna bring it over, Bring it over and put it like in this dicky note on it and says from my elves to your elves.

Bro my, my fucking your youngest, my four year old is gonna be like dead. What is this? I'mna be like, yes, go grab a stick. I'll explain later. Let's go dropping no caramel? Is it gonna be dropping hersh's kisses? Because there's more than one joke that could be made here, if you know what I'm saying. A couple of milk duds.

All right, I'm sorry. We have laught so much this episode, guys, and I hope you drop some shit.

Oh oh my god, there's so manys.

Paull Uh laughed with us during this fun, crazy eight D situation that is the unique and colorful histories around the world.

Indeed, good cult members. As we wrap up this episode giving all the shameless plugs. If you would like to experience your your THHC that you would like to enjoy your sacred herb, but maybe you don't wanna smell like it, go to the Lincoln in the description and go check out Good Feels Cannabis Seltzer. They have a wide variety of flavors and if you use the link in the description below you get twenty percent off your order and

Make sure you get your KFC too.

Of course, but we're not getting sponsored by them, so you know, do your thing.

Reach out to the chicken.

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As well, and we thank you for everybody's already gone and done so with all of these wild topics being discussed, this was another beautiful episode of the Coat of Conspiracy and I'm the Cage to Night and Raven and there's one very important, extremely.

Vital piece of Vent makes me do, learn just as soon as humanly possible. Speak no bay off