#663- Christmas Creatures and Monsters! w/ CultOfCryptids

Welcome back everybody to the Cult of Cryptids, the Strange Root podcast and called the Conspiracy Collaboration. Now we're gonna throw it back to a fun one, one of the second specials ever that we filmed about Christmas creatures and monsters. So make sure to pour yourself a tall blass of eggnog and get ready for a laugh, because this special is quite hilarious. We had a lot of fun doing it and we hope you enjoy it also, So make sure to go subscribe to Strange Roup podcast wherever you

Jeffrey Dahmers, So the Blood You and the Bomber blowing up Waco, Texas and Heaven's Gates and Helius Modify.

And then from Apes Hitler fixed.

His death and then escaped, Big Butt and the moth Man, Son of Sam Talking to Talks Again, Witches Go, Saint Complin's Mysterious Noise and Hot Dings, Dark Guards and the scullt Bones.

Most Clemti is a probably loan so when you're feeling.

All alone, grabbing beer and get stone a welcome you to the podcast trained crew.

We are here to entertain you.

You.

It's about three How much do you think Santa paid for a sleigh?

I don't know how much.

Nothing it was on the house.

Okay, they're all dumb, but that was dumb, dumb. Welcome to the Strange Brew Christmas Special.

And we're all fustive. And I got jingle and jingle.

Balls, got jingle my balls and uh so we're we're at Yeah, we're attempting to film this right now. So this should be up on YouTube on the Strange Brew page. Uh but we'll see what happens in post edit.

But we fucking sucks. It's a damn good chance. But we'll see what happens for the that's a lovely attitude you got there, all right.

So I'm Tom Kat, your fucking host, and this is my other host, Bilbo Baggins.

You gotta get back onto that.

Just just write it like a list of one hundred names and every time to scratch it off.

So I got I got eggnogging rum. I have some fucking whiskey. We have beer upstairs, we have a lot of drinking.

Beer right now.

But we're gonna, we're gonna work our way to ignog. I'm it's Christmas one, it's Christmas time, so you have to one. But I'm like severely lactose. So Billy stinks like am but it doesn't bother me any Like, it doesn't hurt my stomach.

I don't really shit. I just fart and it's.

Terrible, but like I love it, Like it's actually kind of funny to me. Yeah, we're gonna see how it does. Yeah, nobody else seems to enjoy it as much as I do.

All right, so let's just get into it. Then, Christmas isn't all about jingle bells and jolly old Saint Nick.

Yes it is.

There are darker and figures looking about, and they don't always come from the North Pole. This week strange topic for the holiday season is Christmas creatures, monsters, and folklore.

But but it's also kind of about the jingle bells and the Yeah. Yeah, well we'll get into it.

But I just want to add this one because I mentioned it before, I think on last year's episode. But let's have a little sip of the egg nod way more.

Ye, have anything you can.

It's gonna be rough, like seven years down the road, trying to like come up with a new Christmas.

Episode every time. Well, I I just someone pleased, like do like a mass killing or something on Christmas? So we have on top. We could always next days.

Talk about Jesus for Christmas. You want the non existent profit or.

Fucking Oh that that's a good topic.

But so I want to add this one because I think it's fucked. But paintings often depict Saint Nicholas with three young boys standing inside of a barrel. But why Okay. According to the legends, three boys were playing in a field during harvest time. However, they wandered into the city and got lost, unable to make it home, and then they stopped at the butcher shop asking for food in a place to sleep.

The butcher then murdered the three.

Boys and put their bodies and a fucking put their dead bodies in a pickle barrel, pickling dead children. So and he was gonna, I guess, sell their meat on the market, because that happened back then. No, no, but then seven years later Saint Nicholas felt his soul felt the souls of the.

Boys that took a long time there saying yeah.

And knocked on the butcher's door and said open your pickle barrels, and then he said, rise up, children. Some accounts say he made the sign of the cross as he miraculously resurrected the boys. According to the French legend, the butcher then became Saint Nicholas's servant. Whoever, because it's legend, this is a legend, not actually historical fact.

Versions may differ, not fucking historical.

I never knew this, and like I knew about like him resurrecting bodies dead children, I knew about that, but I never knew the pickle barrel thing. And I guess people like hide a pickle in the Christmas tree because of this tradition.

No way was that why people hide pickles.

Because children got murdered. Then we'll see you. No, people hide other things in their Christmas tree too. What is it? It's not a pickle, their.

Dick and that you got to find the guy standing with his dickeat. I don't know.

How small of a person do you have?

The whole sticks of the whole tree. And then someone's like, what is that?

That's stupid that's to not see the body at all. He's like, I'm just gonna put this right.

No, it's a billy, because then you can just hide behind the tree. No one can see the tree. All they see is the dick sticks, all right, So let's get in the next one. This one's kind of fucked up. Bell's nickel bells roughly translate as fur in German, and nickel refers to jolly old Saint Nicholas. So Bell's nickel is Saint Nicholas in fur or pelts. And this version from German folklore does indeed doil out the occasional gift like Santa Claus wood. He even carries a sackful of semen.

Well that's that's a big thing too, right, Because Santa Claus didn't didn't down chimneys. No, but Santa Claus didn't look like Santa Claus until like, fuck, I want to say, like the late thirties, early forties, it was.

Yeah, you actually know who did that? Fuck, I'm surprised I remember that.

You know who made Santa Claus like stop looking creepy and look like jolly and helpful?

Was Coca Cola?

Oh I knew they hired like an artist to be like, you need to promote this better because he looks fucking scared on our bill.

Wasn't Santa Wasn't that assche with Christmas?

Well? No, act well he was, but he was. He was terrifying looking like it was, here's Santa Claus and it's like, wow, I do not want him to come into my home. Please stay homeless, you fucking psychopath. Yeah.

And then you know a good old crampis beating the bad children, which you know this is kind of the same thing, so like this is kind of where the similarities end with him. You know, his code's dirty. And then while Saint Nicholas will just leave lump of cool for nine children, Bell's nick much like cramp, Bell's nickel, much like Crampis will whip the boys on their children on their backs with a switch.

I like that version of Cramps. You're a bad fucking kid, like, come here.

So a switch is a flexible rod typically used for corporate punishment. I had to look that up because I was like, what is the fucking who? What are you whipping with a switch? Is this like a dominatrix thing?

Like so, like I thought a switch was just like a cop. Uh no, that's a fucking baton.

There isn't a switch.

A knife that's a switch blade.

Yeah, I know. But you you're like, I'm gonna get them with my switch.

Maybe, all right, Uh, let's go to the next one. Uh pre uh preach peach or tra petrata petrata, that's what I'm gonna call them. Oh, petretah is a dual gender gendered spirit, dual gender gender that's that's progressive, that's progressive.

What year is this?

I fucking no, ancient fucking bullshit like like this like this thirteen to like seventeen hundreds.

It's just like any time this story came out of are like no, no, no, no, that's not real.

The spirit may.

Either appear as a beautiful woman or a haggard haggard.

Corn corn corn, a haggard.

Crone, like a cruel Karen. Why couldn't you just oh gendered, Well, it might turn to a man too. I was gonna say, why does the guy have to be likely looking? But you said, no, it's it's yeah, it's it's a beautiful woman. Or I think it contains to a man or a haggard crone, which is a fucking ugly old woman that beats her children names pizza kids.

She would visit my name's crown.

She would visit homes throughout the twelve days of Christmas and determine whether or not the children had misbehaved or behaved all year. If they had, she would leave them a little silver coin if they hadn't you know what this match.

Would do for a silver coin? I guess actually back in that time, that was a huge gift. But this ditch, let me guess it's bad. Uh swirlies in the in the toilet. That was just a start, sir, is in the toilet. You make them go balled at eight and then you cut off, but you give them can and if you cut off and then you cut off his deck.

Uh No, she actually, if they hadn't been good, she would slit open their bellies and remove their guts and then stuff them with like straws and pebbles.

That's pretty much what I just said. Not really, what kind of swirlies did you get?

You thought cramp was as bad?

He may have drowned you in a bathtub that sounds peaceful with his pitch and then shoved straw and fucking stones into.

Anyone who never watched that episode. Drags around a bathtub like one of those ancient bathtubs, Like it's a fucking huge like the one that are on legs, Like you know.

What bathtubs I'm talking about.

They're fucking like every grandma had them at one point in time before it became like a part of your thing. It's like when parents got divorced. I wanted to be like, I'm taking the fucking tub with me. I can't do that anymore.

But yeah, this motherfucker straight up drag around one of them filled with water no less, like what did it just brest on his magical fucking anus, like just levitate there or like or he is ripped out of his fucking tree.

Yeah, I forgot.

I was gonna hit a bong hit on the podcast since it's been so long. A good old cheek and shog bong. Hopefully this goes on YouTube.

In a lot of ways, you remind me of like a sixteen year old stone In kid that's like, I think I'm cool because I show what I do. Look at my or you're the guy on the fucking Facebook profile he's got a sixty and one hand and a fucking bb gun in the other.

That's pretty much if you look at when I was fifteen, there's a picture of my Instagram and it's like me in front of the fucking mall and we we just.

Stole like this with your buddy, and you're like.

We just stole a fucking mickey and a twenty six or of fucking Yeah, we stole and during this time.

That's pretty impressive. Went it was raining and we.

Went and then it obviously cleared up because we have going up six when you're sixteen. But we went in there so we pretended that like we were waiting for somebody's ride. But this one kid, Gabe kept giving us away where he's like.

Is your is your dad answering yeah, like they almost.

Here, like just making it so obvious, and I'm like, shut the fuck up, And we snuck a twenty six er in a backpack and a mickey and then we drank outside the mall and then my mom showed up, but I was sitting in the food court and I was drunken.

She did not like that. Yeah, so I think it's crazy.

So like, it's obviously that's intense that uh Pete Tritah or whatever name is, that she's gonna slit your belly open.

So at the time, is it Patricia, No, no, oh, okay, just making sure it's Petrata. I bet you it's Patricia.

No, it's Petreta. It's not okay, right whatever.

Think what you one thing? I just want you kind of I think it's Patria e r c ht A Pertra. Yeah, that's that's different than what you were saying. I said, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know anyway.

Yeah, so, like obviously kids would fucking fear Christmas if you were from wherever this is from. I didn't say, because most of them are German. This one didn't say where it was from. I would, I would guess something.

You don't think they if they actually believed that, you don't think they'd fear Christmas as much as like, actually just be a fucking well behaved kid all year.

I know, and that's what but I feel like, but even if you were a good kid.

It'd be like was I good? Like I don't know, like how is she going to judge me? Like I did, like stay up a little late that one night I.

Poured the whiskey on top of the fucking old egg nog. How my whiskey's like fucking gross looking?

Yeah, so, and and I just think it's funny.

I think we should bring that back, like like kids being afraid at Christmas but also very happy you get do you know what I mean? If you've been bad, Uh.

I don't think any of those kids are You're in a whipp I do not think any of those children were joyful. Actually no, they would have been fine because like kid about because you would have been young enough that, like you, when you're young enough right to like not really think about it until like you're four or five, and then it doesn't happen to you for two years, so you're fine.

You're like anything I do, I'll be fine.

I know, and then you still get your presence. That's why kids are fucking spoiled. But I I want to bring it back if I have kids all scare the ship out of it.

Oh that's that's your turning point.

There's a lot of things that parents do, but like Christmas presents, are you gotta gotta lay down the line.

No Christmas And it's fucking bad you don't have kids.

He's getting the shittiest president or she or whenever I have kids, If they are bad, they'll know it. And I'm gonna dress up by crampis and scare the fucking ship out of them all this dragon.

Bathroom, I'm gonna kids all right?

Uh, Grilaila, how would you say this?

G r y l Ala guy guy Laura from like so if I don't think anybody's actually going to be reiterating a story and be like it's gotta be green, we all.

Have some fu angry fans from Iceland being like it's bronouncela Icelander.

You are you guys?

That tastes fucking weird because there's just just a little bit of eggnogging my whiskey.

You think you think people are from Icelander sensitive. I don't want to don't put that in there. I do not want more. You just said, oh it tastes weird. I don't like it.

I don't want more eggnog. I want I want to pure whiskey.

She's like literally like a fucking like.

Also, for all the listeners that are watching on the video, we have a gay little nutcracker and a hockey nutcracker. This guy is flamboyant fucking Freddy and this guy is uh. I hate fucking hockey. I don't care.

Wayne Gretzky.

Yeah, the biggest piece of ship. His dad just got wrong.

I heard that by a by a fucking cop, no, a friend like, and it was a cop, of course, Brantford cops.

Why we say fuck the poet. Like, so they're saying, they're saying, they were saying that.

The news and I came home from working there and watching there they're talking about it, and the news ladies like and another news Walter Gretzky today got robbed by a close friend along with the Branford opp officer. And then in her same breath, in her exact same breath, goes uh. Waterloo Regions also looking for more donations towards their police force. And I was like, wow, you kind of just did a fucking stab on yourself there. You're like, look at this crooked cop, please give us money.

So if you're living in uh, well, I think that's fun. I think that's fucked got fun. I was like, what Walter's the nice I hate hockey.

He got a lot of mental ship, you.

Know, because he praises his son. He's literally lived off of his son's fame. That's all he does is talking about his son.

This guy.

Okay, if you're a sports fan, if you know fucking hockey at all, you'll.

Know who anyone who knows he comes.

He comes from the city that like Billy used to live in.

And I really good friends with his nephew too, of course.

And then but Wayne Gretzey, you won't come to Branford. He'll stay somewhere else. If he's coming here to do something, he's come here.

He has come here.

But he won't stay in Branford because he fucking hates brandfand so. But like his dad is like a guy, you'll see him, Yeah, I.

Do, right, you guys very postcards.

No, I told my fucking I hate the sport that made you. There was never hockey, you wouldn't exist. Uh, if you're to get into the next greenlaw, that's what I'm gonna call her. If you're a child living in Iceland, you've probably been warned about the legend of the Gila, the giantess to fucking giant who lives in the mountains and comes out of her caves in the wintertime searching for naughty little kids.

Fucking anti hibernating cunt.

Yeah, I know what, Kate, do you use that word fans good?

Oh yeah, there was that one that didn't like Yeah, didn't like that. I said the word. I don't like what you said on your uncensored podcast.

Yeah, I know, says explicit on our ship.

It's like, it's how many things did you listen to before? Like that, that's the one.

It's like they can talk about like kids getting molested, and they can talk about kids getting murdered. Fuck who cares about like any any poor kids?

Fuck them? But like I have, I have a cunt and that offends me.

You should take your one ear out of the thing. Your not sticking up. We're also wearing like Santa Claus. There you go, there's Pokemon now beel he's got the lphat. I got a Santa hat. It's fun, it's fun Christmas times.

I'm gonna gotta make a Christmas card again. You're ready, ready? Yeah?

So so it comes out in the search for Naught of kids. When she finds them, she boils them up into a stew and devours them as a tasty snack. This is how people think, like, it's so joyous in the Christmas music, and I'm going to shop and spend billions of dollars. Not billions, I spend thousand dollars to get myself in it the debt over this holiday. But this holiday is literally based on somebody coming to take

That's what they're doing. I don't know that was that experience. I don't know. So you guys did, You're like, hey, Johnny, what do you want to do that? It's like, I don't know, Billy, what do you want to do? You want to go in the yard and sticks some sticks up OSSes?

See, Okay, I just don't know what they did back then.

What do you do? Just run around? Can we go to your house, it doesn't have a fence so everyone can see us, or like, what do you do, Hey, you want to go outside and build a snowman and say so fun it's it's green. It was not oh yeah, you're right.

No, I don't look at snow green. Maybe, but it's not like, yeah, Greenland's the one that's always Icelandic.

People. Let us know. Iceland is green and my buddy went to fucking Oh I fucking okay, what Iceland is green and Greenland's ice?

I know, I know you heard that in school, but Dan, it's been this part. I'm sure he went to He went to Iceland and was fucking freezing.

Yeah, he probably went in winter time, all right, and it was prob're Icelandic.

Please let us fucking know. So that's what I'm saying that Chris is based on. Like it's just fucked. Like it's based on all these monsters are fucked, and it's gonna get more fucked.

So Grill, it's gonna get more fuck. Grilla is the mother twenty twenty Biden Christmas crampis you want to get sniff tonight?

Oh dude, we should do targeted ads, just like just a bunch of Biden ones. I want to make them now, just a bunch of Christmas like cards. I'm gonna send them out to a bunch of people. And it's like sniffing of you tonight, because a bunch of puns like that.

Here's a sniff for you, and it's someone holding the presents a sniff its.

Nose and the box you are a sniff all right?

Do that for Valentine's Day?

Yeah? Do we need to put on a line of Biden cards? Yeah, I know, let's do it. We're gonna do it. Steal my idea. I'm probably not gonna follow through that. So if you steal it, fucking kudos. Can you just like put my name somewhere.

Maybe we'll do this for like a festive thing, like to do episodes on festive times. But I also have a very fun Valentine's Day episode, so you prepare for that.

So Grilla is the mother. I'm not coming over here on Valentine's No, it's gonna be on Valide. I was like, I'm gonna get my fucking dick cut.

Yeah you should, it's healthy.

No, No, you I met like cut off? You know what I mean?

Why use your dick getting cut off if I come over here on Valentine's Day.

Oh, I didn't even understand.

I was like, I thought that your girlfriend was gonna cut your dick off or like try to bite your foreskin off. So Grilla is the mother of the thirteen ule Lads who visits you know, the U lad that's like.

Part of like the U Lads come around and no U lad is. They're like fucking what are you? They're like, are they just people? Are they a group of people like sing or something? You lads are? I was gonna bring down, like I like how it's quick you were? It's just like be like you don't know what I actually don't know what that is.

I think I think they're just like elve kind of creatures kind.

Of okay, I have no idea.

They're like evil children creatures. That's like you know, Christmas Land and stupid news for atu.

Uh So it's a good show.

I finally watched it for all the fans that bit about it to watch a couple of I watched the whole the whole fourth season.

Was not good. To watch the whole first season, well.

I just wanted because I think, like, what is happening in this fucking show. Why these kids vampires in a Christmas Land? I don't understand. I still don't understand them on it, and you should like whatever.

I like it.

But there's better shows, Bailey, there is better shows.

Yeah.

I also like porn hub porn hubs. Okay, yeah, good for the good for the Christmas holidays. Nothing like like lighting a couple of candles, get the fire going, light up your Christmas tree and just sit around the room with your family watching the Good Morning.

Yeah, don't you and your family every Christmas Eve put on as you guys watch?

So the Yule lads who visit sleeping children on the thirteen nights before Christmas and some la legends, the lads who have the creepy names like meat hook and window Peeper are just as disgusting.

Man, that's gonna be my stripper name onto the stage along with my girl. Okay, So here's a funny story too. We made a stripper joke a little while ago. I don't remember what episode of was on, but I said, Izzy is a gross name for a stripper? What so? And we started laughing and we're like and I was like, here.

Comes Fizzyzyyah, and now it's I dated a girl name is now you're doing girl and I call her Izzy, So now it's Fizzy.

Here's the couple Fizzy is he and me? What episode was that? That's so fun I don't know, but it made me cry and she heard do it and she got like she she actually thought it was fucking hilarious, which thank god, it's so funny, because what are the odds of that? What are the fun was?

I feel like that was an episode that Justin was on when we were like getting pretty liquored up.

Like we're still getting liquid up, so like no, we don't drink, so like.

This is yeah, so it's kind of crazy that, Like so she's awful. She is fucking well, you know, like come out.

In the streets. Wow, she's fucking Willie Nelson. She's awful. I said, you're like she she's fucking you know, you mubble. But it sounded just like really she.

Like finds kids that are bad. She eats them, which is bad enough, so but these guys she finds the bad one laughs like meat Hook and window Peeper. I like window Peeper better.

I like meat Hook Hook with me, he's got.

A standing in your fucking window.

He hooks the guy that like goes to hotels and stands at the end of the hall with a t bone steak on the end of a fishing line while he's lying down. And then as soon as someone goes to pick up the t bone steak, he's real.

And it's like, so, why why Billy is gonna go with his stripper name meat hook is because his dick is shaped like a candy can.

It could be just it goes all the way around and I pee, I'm literally like, like a fucking cur don't go all the way Yes they do, not all of them there, but they should the ones that the ones that don't have a dollar store one.

So the gorilla Gorilla, Gorilla Gorilla appears for the first time. Oh and soorny Ster, listen pressda Eddie. I don't know that must be a place in Iceland.

Guys name your place is much too long? Yes, very long. It's weird.

But she didn't become associated with Christmas season until around the seventeenth century. By the time, kids were so terrified by the idea of her that the Icelandic government had to step in and ban the use of her legend as a parenting technique, because that's what it was. Instead, she was rebranded and presented in a way that has her spreading holiday cheer as the Yule lads.

Now just leave rotten.

Potatoes if you've been mishaving.

But it's just like.

Sarah, they're kids before, So now let's change her at.

Least at least like raw potato is not bad. I'm like, I think, but you can make mashed, you can make French fries. If you had skill, you could make.

I have kids, I'm gonna leave them rotten potatoes, rotten, rotten, and then I'm gonna leave them there, and then they'll be like.

What the fuck is this?

I'm like, have you ever heard of the story of the gorilla and her utilized.

I'm gonna get you drunk and get you sterilized. I'm not taking the vaccination sterilized. Yeah, the vaccination was a sterilized forty of the population. Oh there's a fun fucking I've looked up a lot about that. Goddamn or not, We'll.

Do a whole rand episode about the vaccination, because if you motherfuckers get it, you are dumb. People are all getting Bell's policy or whatever the ship's called, and their fucking face is all getting all fucked fucked up, So fuck that ship.

Ah.

So Pierre uh food tard, like this guy fo tard. It's literally what it is, fuel tard, fuel tar futard.

That's a French name. I ever peer feud tard. It's it's guys. You make it so easy to make fun of you, why don't. Yeah, I have a hard time. I have a hard time not doing it. That's why. Like I am Pierre Feutard, and my father was Pere food trd and do we live a feu.

Tard like and my my great great grandfather was He's fruit tard.

And my my mother was also Pierre foods.

We kept the same name in Pierre uncut penis.

That's okay.

Imagine if Santa Claus had a sidekick who traveled around with him beaten those who misbehave Christ and Grampus is kind of against like like Crampis is like his own thing in San Claus is his own thing. But like there was a lot of folklore and stories that where Christmas came from about like Santa Claus having like a slave and ship, So this is probably kind of one of Like.

I said, he wasn't jolly until like the forties.

Yeah, well and jolly old fucking France Saint Nicholas has Lee Pierre Futhard, whose name literally transit translates, please tell me to.

Father whip all ship. Here comes father whipper. He doesn't mean father, it's it's p e r e pair pere pr father. That's okay, friend, I want to ask you fuck up.

A lot of ship when it comes to languages on this podcast.

Just deal with it.

It's part of the fun, okay, sure enough. Food Tard roams around the northern France uh and and parts of France and Belgium, and with whip in hand to give lashings to the kids who don't get their act together. Hey, Johnny, I heard your masturbating to your fucking mother's nineteen twenty photo. You're gonna get a good whipping tonight.

Boy. Maybe she was hot. You're just watching Bad Santa too.

And he's like, uh, a kid told me that masturbating was when you touch her wee wee and think about your mother. And he's like, I can't think about my mom. She's in heaven looking.

Down on me.

It's is like bad Santuoe fucked. Yeah, so he's got whip in hand, which is crazy. So it is a lot of the Christmas creatures. The ancient shit it is. It's not even ancient. It's just like you know, back in the day, like in the seventeen sixteen thirty century it is. It is more like punishment. It's like you'll get like a cool shitty wooden toy that you can just pull around and it like kind of moves its head up and down like a duck or something.

Well, you wouldn't even get that half the time, like more like maybe in the rich countries. But like like I said, yeah, what my mom, I got you shoes.

And they're just like a piece of like wool stitch together that you.

Can kind of know you didn't even get that, you like my mom.

Like even so, the only two stories I know from this sumer my mom that came from Mexico look extremely poor. And then I'm living with my girlfriend's grandfather right now, and so he tells me stories and stuff, and fuck, if you have a chance to listen to old people talk, do it. They're fucking hilarious and they don't mean to be. But Anyways, he was like, yeah, it's like we used to get it. Like uh, He's like, we get a bag full of oranges and pairs and stuff, and my

That sounds horrible, That's what I'm saying.

That was what Christmas was. It was like somebody gets a can of pop. Today it was like a lottery every fucking Christmas.

Because they're just building ship and there's like obviously no TV and and and xboxes and stuff. So they like it's like Daddy made you a sled and it's like the most rickety piece of shiit die on the way down.

It's like, well, that's like the third kid of Daddy is also fucking blind. There's a third kid to die this year.

We're making progress, Like it's okay, we still got the Johnny and we got the Genie.

That's an old dolls were a huge thing, right to those dolls and.

A ship dolls and stuff. How do they make those things back then? Is that around something's been around for like no, but like to make them how they don't have like the chucky mold where they like it's in the factory and they're making chucky in the So the legend of the Futar dates back to at least the twelfth century. That's fucking old. And it's a tale about an innkeeper, possibly a butcher, depending on the version of the tales you read.

And maybe this is the guy that Santa Claus resurrected the boys. Oh it is, it is. It's the same one who murders and robs three little boys on their way to a religious It's the same kids, all right.

Yeah so yeah, after killing them and stilling them money, the innkeeper and his wife would chop up the boys into bits and make stew out of them and hide the evidence. Oh we're supposed to do. We're supposed to do that sound effect after your dad jokes. And I did never remember he's killing himself. You always pess the wrong button.

I don't know what any of them too.

I was justa stop pressing the button that was like the perfect one day. And yeah so when then, wait, Saint Nicholas supposedly figured out what happened he resurrected the

Just do you imagine not being part of you every day?

Like you know, when you leave the hoster like keys phone wallet, he's like his phone wallet switch.

Where's my fucking whips?

His girlfriend gets some of Christmas gift. It's like the most dominatrix fucking whip ever.

He's like upgrading, no, and it's gotta be like especially because it's Christmasy, he's gonna have a bunch of lights around it where it just frames the whip and then he kind of grabs it out of there. Every year and he's like, it's time, my old friend for another year of punishing. All right, Mah Marie lude Loud, It's come on with these names. Man, It's m A r I Mary Mary l w y d l w y d.

Oh friend l w luid, Mary Lude married Lude.

That's what I'm gonna say. As if you weren't scared enough, here comes a Welsh skeleton horse spirit.

You know what the buttons meaning. That's not Christmas skeleton.

I just want to see like a up horse skeleton on. I don't know what no make anymore?

Uh So Mary lewd or why fairy luid is a in Welsh is a customer which people will visit your homes, will carrying a horse skull that has been decked with decked out during the holidays, like ribbons, bells and and a sheet to give the whole affair a ghostly appearance.

What is wrong with I guess Welsh isn't no, but if you're making Christmas decoration, Okay, I'm not saying.

Kill Welsh people in Britain right there's people that are Welsh.

Or like, yeah, I'm terrible geography, but I'm a geography.

There's no place called Welsh or Welshin or Welsh people.

British people Welsh.

I don't care anymore.

All British people are No, that's not no.

There's like a certain part of Britain.

That's like Welsh. Sure, that's right. I don't know that's that sounds about right anyways.

No, but it makes sense because like I'm not saying, like kill the horse, but like if the horse is already dead, use its pieces. Yeah, like you use its skull for creepy decorations.

Yeah, I know, damn son, where'd you find this? It was on the side of the dad. Yeah. I founded a little old whole skulk. I was just mone of my own business, fucking of skunk. And when I saw this dead horse, I think that's super weird.

So the mary Leude Troupe will engage the owner in battle of versus or insults. This is dope and whoever is like the Cleverest with their rhymes. They're allowed in for drinks and food.

It's a free style rink. Crazy so and I do say, sir that you're just called out here. And if I may say so, I want to have a beer.

Yes, I think he's like it all says a battle of insults, Like, it's a battle of insults.

Look at the person. You're like, you lanky, brown eyed, your fucking teeth would make a hell of a mess up a copper corn. Yes, fucking mean ass old people.

Yeah, so like, and I think that's funny. When I was look at some of those hilarious that they would like spit rhymes to each other. I don't think your door, Oh sh it looked like your wife's the hole. She is back there with Santa Claus. She's got our hands all over his bouth.

No, I don't think that's what it was. I think the way you read it was it's either like rhymes rhymes like poetry, or whoever can just straight up this the other person. The rhyme part's not in the thing, don't It was just whoever can make the other person feel terrible about themselves. You're not just rhy It looks like.

He's gonna grow up to murder like twelve people.

Bet that's where your mom jokes came from.

Yeah, yeah, I know these people knock each other's door looking back and be like your mom so fat? When though, when I'm trying to think of a horse and carriage fat jokes.

Like, why was that so funny? Everyone knows that your mom's so fat. She wakes up on both sides of the best. Remember your mama? Yeah, I loved it. It was hilarious time.

So like it was the cleverest rhyme, and they were allowed in for drinks and foods and they're supposed to be this the creature that originates from would scare away anything unwanted from the year. So it's kind of like a good thing. Even if the owner wins the verse battle, they still let in the people for you know, for a drink and outh covid. You can't do that, but O, I feel like that'd be fun. If somebody comes over he like knocks the door. I never answered my door if I don't know who he is.

So yeah, you're extremely fucking petrified of the world.

No, I know, I just I don't trust Branford. I don't trust who's coming to my door if I don't know im. You Devin texts me that you're coming to my door, Like not you. I know when you're coming.

No, you don't.

I've plenty of times been knocking on that door, going fucking open. You're gone, I'm probably down here doing something.

U you know, you hear it and you go, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. Pizza guy he ordered fucking pizza today. Pizza Guy knocks on the door. I was like, was that not the door. He's like yeah, but I'll wait till he leaves, and I'm like, why last time I scared the share of the guy and then he knocked again. He's like, are you I can hear you talking. I know you know I'm here. Do you want your pizza please? I know?

Uh so whatever? Fuck last time I like, I was like he knocked, I open it like instantly, and he got one like this and I was like, oh, sorry, Bud.

Because you're are because you were probably literally standing with your hand on a fucking knob he knocked, and you fucking whipped open the door. I'd lose my shit.

So so, like many uh other creatures on this episode, Mary Lud's origins or lost, though, there's a long history of white horses in British folklore. With horses themselves, they represent power and fertility and why does everything have to be about fertility? Easter is about fucking, Christmas is about fucking. The evergreen is a representation of fertility, That's what it is.

And in the East, the bunny is a.

Representation of fucking, fucking, fucking as much as a jack rabbit and it's all about fucking having kids to and then now they're gonna give us a vaccination that kills off half of us, and then who knows.

The Evergreen might mean that, but that's not why it was related with Christmas. Fuck it is. I've looked at it. No, it is like I, okay, it could be that as well. It could be that as well. It is, but the Prince Charles originally brought the Evergreen in for a separate reason. And I can't remember Charles. Yeah, you can think fucking pedophile. You can thank Prince Charles reptilian pedal. You can thank Prince Charles for the.

That guy fucking dead yet, why that guy's a fucking reptilian if anyone's.

Reptilian, and Jesus Christ, he's the creepiest. This is in the eighteen hundreds. Prince Charles exists. Now also Prince Charles in the eighteen hundreds.

All right, you know how many by google billy stupid facts. We're not looking this up. So they let's get in the Yule cat, the the the jacka chocolate jacquolad. I think it's something like that. It's fucking Icelandic again. They have crazy fucking sayings. It's the jacot is would you like chocolate? It's just chocolate.

No, it's all long.

Is the Icelandic yule cat A yule cat, kitty Christmas kitty?

Fucking hey cats man stupid, but it's not a nice cat, none of them are. In fact, he might eat you, and all of them will.

This character is tied to an Icelandic tradition in which those who finish all their work on time receive new clothes for Christmas, while those who are lazy, like Mexicans do not. Although that was inaccurate statement. I know they're hardworking.

No, you gotta like, you gotta pick on like a race. It's actually lazy like Greek people.

Who were just jokeing ins all jokes don't get offended police, while those who were lazy.

Honestly, sorry, Americans, I know most of you or everyone's different, but as a country, y'all kind of would be on the lazier side of the skale.

And that's just kind of fact. Yep.

To encourage children to work hard, parents told them that the yule cat, saying that it would come after them and could tell who lazy children were because they did not have at least one item of clothing for Christmas. These are just poor parents that are like.

You were lazy. You only picked seventeen thousand pounds of fruit this year. We expected nineteen thousand. We've done. That is way under the mark. So you'll get those clothes. So you're fucking now this year you're picking fruit. Fucking nude. How thatd her? There Johnny Applesey fucking carry on.

And then there's Joe Biden just creeping over the fence being like and these children would be sacrifice to the mule cat if they were not good.

Marry Christmas. H h they would be a mule coat for ones.

No one wants the goats. You're gonna get fucked by a Middle Eastern dude one day.

Damn.

Sorry, I don't think this from what I said earlier, and now that is definitely not gonna last long on YouTube.

So catch it if you can, like covid, Uh, this gotta catch them all. Get some sas, get some covid. Would those next this role? That could be an awesome parody. Anyways, here on.

This reminder tends to spur children into doing their chores. A poem is written about the cat that ends with a suggestion that children help out the needy so they too have protection of new clothing. It is no wonder Icelanders put in more overtime at work than most Europeans.

Damn son, where'd you find this? Yar? Yah?

Isn't isn't Europe's I might be wrong, isn't isn't Europe's? Like, I know Sweden has this, but doesn't most of Europe like shorter work weeks. I feel like your Europe's work weeks are like quite like thirty hours.

Yeah, yeah, they get that.

I might be wrong. Was like that too.

Maybe that's Sweden.

Well that's well Sweden, I know, is that? But you just said I thought they're they're like, they're like, I don't know. That might be why? Yeah, I don't know though.

All right, let's getting the Hans Troup. Can you tell where he's from?

Hans trop star wars No, he's.

Actually France, from France. I thought it was fucking German because his name is Hans and and Alask in Lorraine, France. Hans Trap is all French. I know. I fucking hate French people. Just joking, you're probably you're probably cool. I just don't like your language, and they made me fucking learn it in school and I never was good at it and I hated it.

And plus there's a little resentment there too because we live in Canada, so like Quebec is its own thing. And like the way they treat you, like you can walk in so fucking polite.

Like they'll say bonger and you're like, I'm I'm sorry, Like I'll say bonzer back even and they can tell how bad I butchered.

It, and they'll like, nope, I fucking hate it.

This is ridiculous, No, I Like, I went when I was driving back from New Brunswick last time, I stopped off at the gas station and this girl was playing fucking Eminem in the guy there is like a fifty year old woman and I went she was like and I was like, uh cis Like I just didn't want to her to hate me because I so I didn't. I just pretended I didn't talk.

And I went, ah, Eminem and she went on it rant in French and I didn't know a fucking word of what she said. And the entire time I'm going, yeah, ah, just go for French people. She loved me, and then I left and that was the only nice interaction I've ever had because I pretended like I knew what she was saying.

This goes for a bunch of different people that like speaking different languages. It's like when you go to convenience store and they're fucking speaking in Chinese.

Right in front of you, and it's just like it's super fucking stupid.

White boy fucking buying Eminem's like, it's just like they just they're probably making fun of us.

But I want to learn every language just to that would take you years.

Billy so Hanks trap Is is a Christmas boogieman that parents invoke to encourage good behavior, like all these fucking monsters among their offspring. While this legend or orinate or originates in the fifteenth century, where Hans Troup was a rich and greedy man who is said to worship Satan.

My homeboy, the main man in power. He's the good guy.

Okay when the Catholic Church, that's what they wanted. Well, yeah, that's what the church wants you to think.

Church, what you want to think?

Fucking you know, Satan has been the biggest spokes guy for the church. Everyone goes to church, but state man gotta go pray. When the Catholic church learn what Haunts was up to, and they communicated him and his neighbors excommunicated.

Yeah, and his neighbors being executed.

No, excommunicate. That means like you're cut from this place. You can't funk go over here anymore. You can't stand on this lane no more. So that he got banned, you got excommunicated. They don't communicate. You can't talk over to me. You can't you get talk to me, Santa. Sorry, hits Santa. I got Santa flying like.

His beard it's too flappy, it's too curled. Okay, someone curling iron.

If you're listening to wont the we're talking about, let's get back.

So then.

When the Catholic's learning that Haunts he was excommunicated. When the neighbors, his neighbors to the north, north south, everyone just ostracized him, okay, and like they just like they told him the funk off and eventually his wealth. He he ended up like because he got ostracized and because he was such an evil man supposed to be, he fled into the woods. Last picture of this guy's like, oh, it's like running into the woods, like pennyless, like no money.

He's like, I don't want to go anymore. Everyone's doesn't like me living.

I'm not like there, living alone on a mountain and angry at the loss of his fortune, he descended into madness.

And one day, yeah, I'd be pretty fucking pissed too.

Yeah, And one day he attacked a young boy who wandered near his shack. Yeah, because he lived in a shack like hagrid fucking the boy stupid and it's not even his fault.

He chopped up the boy. Yep, sucks to be that boy past.

Him over a fire, but before he could take a bite.

He walked across the wrong man shack. Motherfucker. All right, so he's got He chopped.

Up this boy, he roast him over the fire, and before he could take a bite. What do you think happened? Something unbelievable.

Oh, the boy comes back to life.

A bolt of like lightning struck on, killing him instantly. He killed the kid, He made him in a stew when as soon as he's gonna fucking eat him, that's when God strikes you down.

Really like he gets hip, I was too far. Well, you might as well make him like why put the boy away. The boy needed to die anyway, So he had the boy dead and everything. And then and then when he's like, look at all that work he just did and fucking dead.

So since that time he serves as a warning to back kids, watch out or Hans Troup.

Will to eat you. Really you're promoting a cannibal right now. Yeah, that's what they know. But that's what they're doing. Like they're just like my Jeffrey.

Dahmer should be on a can of soup. I think that would be appropriate.

That's gonna be good, like so many health concerns.

Yeah, when we when we talk about fucking h Robert good Fd eventually getting Robert Pitching. That's out in b C or whatever. Right, he sold fucking human meat for a.

Bit, and we've already and the cops talked about a lot of people have done that.

Yeah, not to the extent, but Schwartz Pierre about SWATSI about the Hamburger guy. Oh yeah he did do that, but they didn't know how much he sold. Yeah, but he had a stand that one episodes, Fuck the Hamburger killer, fucking one Hamburger human killer.

He just made a bunch of Swatz Pierre swats Peed Oh my god, why are they all French? Like we need some diversity. Where's this is from the Netherlands.

He's not from French.

Netherlands aka.

Talked about black Pete man, me and you have talked about this together off the podcast with Pete. Remember the people celebrate and they put on black face.

It's not appropriate. It's not appropriate anymore.

So.

Swatspierre aka Black Peter, who hails from the Netherlands, is one of Saint Nicholas's helpers. He accompanies Santa on Christmas Eve with toy He's on a toy mission to give.

The boy little toys. But there is a spirit. Uh.

But he also like kind of does away with bad children. If necessary, he gives presents, but he's kind of like if Sam's like, there's just that these five thousand kids that just need to be need to be taught a lesson. And Swatzpierre is like black pizez like I.

Got you, saying I got you, I got I have a good boy.

Yeah, so uh, if if necessary, he will do this. But according to lore, he originates on a ship from Spain, so some regard him as somewhat pirate, like legend has.

It because he's on fucking ship all of a sudden. Neither pirate just because I'm uncut all of a sudden. Not French you are?

Are you sure you're not French? I wonder when Mexicans do their dicks that cut them in the crowns. Look at it.

It's nice in it's nice. I'm like, literally, like that that's got it. That's that's Indians for sure, Native Americans or Indian Indians, Indian Indians. I wouldn't call Native Americans Indians.

Want always does and I'm like, fucking crazy, fucking Americans.

No Indian people like that's always like there's top of the line stuff. Oh my god. Actually, you know what's kind of cool.

Here's a just because we talked about this, I never think I've get a chance to talk about this again. My girlfriend's boss is Indian, and uh well he's from Kuwaid anyway. But like the way he talks about like what clothing lines are. He's like, I come here and he's like, I pay one hundred and forty dollars for a T shirt because he goes like the most expensive places and he's like, it's fucking it's garbage.

He's like, it's garbage. This is garbage clothing.

He's like, I go back home, I pay fifty dollars and I get like nice clothes that lasts me my lifetime.

Like they're like fresh and like those stupid true religion. It's no nos a pair of not like that. No, he goes like, like nice clothing.

He's true religion. You guys are all fucking.

He'll be like your your suit store suck.

He's like, all the suits are garbage here, every seats garbage is like, go to India, pay third of the price, gets suit way better, all right, Like that's weird.

I was like I kind of want to go buy my clothes. All right.

So the legend has it that Black Peat's job specifically was Carrie do carry naughty children off in a sack? The legend of the sack so like after like he empties the toys for all the good children, He's got this big empty sack.

So this is where time of fucking killed the fucking kids. All right, look at that, it's oh five pass, let's murder some little fuckers.

Black Beat as whoever increasingly controversial figure. The issue stems from his appearance which is undeniably and disturbing. Bit of a bit of the black face, they say, a bit of the black face.

Okay, so he's white, but he's just painted.

But he has soot. It's like Chimney said, And and then people in people in the Netherlands, they they dress up and they put black face on and they dance around the streets and stupid costumes and that the one black guy in Netherlands is like, it's like, what the fuck.

I came here? He said it was cool. So like I talked to every one of you.

It's a bit of the black face, as they say, so swats Preer are black. Pete defenders claim that he only looks that way because he's covered in soot and coming down from so many chimneys, but the argument, frankly does.

Not hold up.

But that that is what that is, though, Like that is like never they got mad at Mary Poppins. I said this in an episode because it no, it's Mary. Because he's dancing around he looks like they but they that was me. See in that movie, it does look like they're covered in soot, like it does. It does like it just looks like they're just covered in like black, Like, yeah, you can argue whatever you want, but it does look

Well, look you're a Canadian leader, even dressed I know to play Aladdin.

Yeah, and I've said that I did it when I was twelve because they thought it, said it would be funny.

Remember I was in I dressed, I was everybody did that.

I'll try to find that picture because for one show, I was supposed to be an Indian dude. And Paul the Barber a guy that in the town. Everyone called him Paul the Barber. Be's an actor and we did no sex please were British and I was just helping back to sex please were British. Yeah, it's a it's a play from Britain that sounds said it's a funny.

My mom was I can't wait till I'm gonna look up that play. I really want to know.

My mom was a Swedish prostitute in that fucking play and then and and she did like try to do a Swedish accent. It's pretty funny. But so I was like twelve, and I was like just like back up in the back and like helping them do prop stuff. And then there's like, oh, it'll be funny, like if you and Paul came out as like Indian and this is like the early two thousands, so like yeah, it's bad enough, but it's still it's indifferent, but again it's

Yeah, and then that's it.

It's it's now, it's done because like so there are millions of million the people that are using it for like just genuine humor that it's like, hah, that is funny, and like people love it too, Like honestly, I know like stereotypes men, dude, I do. I serve a lot of people, right, so I serve all ethnicities, and every single fucking time I serve a Chinese family, I go, oh, it's good, eh, and like they always fucking laugh every time.

They always think it's fun. People have a good uh sense of you when it comes to white people because they always think it's fucking funny. They always laughing, oh yeah, good and oh my god, so like like but like it's it's the as long as you do it to them and they know you're wholesome about it, like it's funny. But like a couple of people don't. And now that whole it's like it's kind of sad that you can't do that anymore. Like we've said, it's like that's a

I know, it's I know it's different because we're white. And now I doesn't want to fucking they always want to like like white people can't do this or that, and I understand, and I just want to and I like you said the podcast before. I I have fucking like Jamaican family. I love everybody. I've had fucking friends over all spectrums of the colors, just fucking saying that, like we're just joking, that's all it is. It's not meant to be anything harmful, but.

I know it's it just sucks because we were the oppressors, so it does suck. It's so we're for the most part, it was US Spanish nine times out of ten it was US anyways, but it wasn't me. Here's my family. Funny little side story. My boss told me the other day he used to work at a TV store back when like audio visual was awesome, Like it was.

Like nobody had Internet yet, virgins, Oh, nobody had internet yet. Yeah, so like our internet was just starting, so like it was still big surround sounds. So when the first Aladdin came out or Avatar, the first Avatar came out.

Here, so there's definitely internet. No, sorry, it was internet.

It was like the first It was still like new though, like it wasn't like you can't just get what you get now Netflix is the thing yet, yeah, exactly the thing.

I mean, like, Okay, people didn't have so they buy any ways, any ways.

He's like, he's like, my the owner of that fucking audio visual story. He's like this, He's like, we had a deal on you buy his sixty five inch flat screen TV or a big TV. I don't know if his flat screen yet. You buy sixty five inch TV, and you get a free DVD copy of Aladdin or free Blu ray copy or not Aladdin avatarah. And so he was selling to this this family. It's like there was six and this is important of how many there were.

And they're all there and.

He's like and if you get Aladdin, if you get the if you buy this TV, you get a copy of Aladdin. And they're like oh, he's like yeah, Aladdin.

Good movie. Good movie. And they're like ah and they're like clapping and ship and they're like he's like, oh yeah, a laden come here or anyways, Avatar, I have a talking movie. And then he's like he's like he's ringing them up. He's like, so how you bring this home? You got truck van? I hope you don't say ca what like a car? He's like you're not a car, and he's like, sure is ship. He walks outside in this family of six is in a car. He's like, how the fuck are you gonna get TV? No, but

My freas Christmas movies is a Christmas story and like that's now offensive when they're like they go and eat on, I think it's Christmas. Even the Chinese restaurant, because they don't celebrate Christmas is the one that's open.

And then they're like I can't uh oh forra rah rah rah rah.

Just now offensive. But still that's a fucking movie. Is hilarious as fucking.

You know, I might be getting my like points off just because I mean, like, my not my point. My points are fine, but I'm saying, like the whole idea, I think it's okay to make fun of other cultures of the families primarily based off Chinese people also have an amazing sense of humor.

Yeah, well that's why they understand that you're with them.

My Jenna mind tricks tattoo right here, my and it is the exact same symbol. But I remember being at a buffet and the guy's.

Like, oh, like tattoo. He's like yeah, yeah, He's like, do you know what that means?

And I was like, according to Jedi mind tricks, it's it's from the eye ching and it means spirituary birth. And he's like, oh, maybe maybe, and then he's like it also means then now he like he's gonna tell me. And they have these stupid like kids like menu things, so he writes down rich and he's like me, he's rich, rich harvest. And I was like, I can see Vinny going either way. I think it's from the eye ching, but either way they took it. This is the exact

I don't know why.

It was twenty dollars from me and my girlfriend create a fucking shallow just twenty bucks flat.

And he's like yeah yeah, and I was like, like he was super fun, chill. I love China. I love everybody, just Asian people in general. Fantastic. Let's talk about it. You don't you fucking hate everybody everybody.

I don't hate something because they're like they looked at it.

But because they act, I'm saying, you can't say you love everybody when you hate everybody. You don't like fucking anybody.

So uh stu Well, Pete Peter. So I'm just gonna call his name shockhead Peter. This one's fucked so has become a household name amongst amongst a pair with Edward gory in recent years. I don't know who Edward Gorey is, but originally created as by a psychiatrist author Heinrich Hoffman He's fucking German, as a Christmas present for his son, Shockhead Peter sports huge electrocutian fused hair like I came out of the word like you know what, You.

Get shocked and you're sucking it. Yeah, your hair beer goes all.

Crazy, uh long point on point beard talon like fingers, which later going to inspire the creation of Edward scissor Hands.

And that's weird.

I didn't know that that Shockhead Peter fucking inspired Edwards Skizzer fans, but like, you know, that's fucking weird.

Joke. Excizer hands Peter is miser hands Peter.

Cheezures, seezers, scissors, caesars cut him a little that was a That was my favorite. Did Jo Peter is mainly a kind of cautionary tale and bloodthirsty moralist tale. Is but morality, he stays. He stands by as children burned to death for neglecting fire safety. So if they don't if they don't follow the protocol, like the firefighter says.

Like, buddy, I told you stop dropping rolling. I see you stop dropping and squirming. You're fucking rolling. You can I'll sit here all day.

See the kid doesn't listen to fire safety, so he lights hi stuff on fire and then shockhead Peter, with this crazy look, stands next to the boy. He's like, I fucking told you.

I told you.

Again. I don't know why my voices always go like down south.

And now there's like there's like seven other kids standing beside him. He's like, see what happens. I'm not gonna help. They're all fucking on fire, just just watching the one kid and he's like, come here, children, nobody, Oh Tom okay.

He also gets their fingers severed with scissors for sucking on their thumbs. If you suck on your thumbs too long, this motherfucker's gonna cut them off.

Scissors did you mention being a grown ass man. This still sucks in your.

I feel like I knew girls that did till they were like thirteen to forteen. I knew one girl that did it, and.

Here's a girl gives them a child. Yeah, probably.

Gross.

I was a better.

Pour the fucking rum on top of the whiskey. That's a bad idea.

I don't want to festive. I don't want to.

I'll throw it up later if I drink fucking milk and this much whiskey.

I've had it almost. I have almost finished this car. Why.

Yeah, I want to try to do a drunken Christmas freestyle. We did one sober. Let's se which one's better. Probably we'll see. Ah he stands by it, christ burn that are so and cuts off fucking fingers for suck on the thumbs. And also like if they refuse to eat their soup, they refuse to eat their dinner or their peas or their vegetables, they'll waste away like Stephen Kingk's dinner and just like.

Slowly like get skinnier and then they're waste away and nothing.

Maybe that's it's a better book. Maybe that's literally just because you're not eating your vegetables, all right? So what else is on your plate? Is it vegetables and pizza?

H what are you gonna choose? So that marshmallow marshmallow trick like they do to kids, leave one marshmallow on a plate and then they walk away and say, if you don't eat this one, I'll give you three more. And then it is an experiment on their will and if they and some kids will speak and then some kids will do it and like actually, like it's about like wait, yeah, wait, So there's a little poem that goes.

On with it.

Just look at him. There he stands with his nasty hair and hands. See his nails are never.

Cut, they are grimed with black as soot and the slovan I declare never once again he combed his hair, never once combed his hair.

Anything to me is sweeter than to see shock headed Peter. Anything is sweeter, any any anything is sweeter. This fucking check sounds like she has to reads. I repeat never ever, ever, I repeat never.

Okay, okay, last one on the docket for the Christmas creatures and monsters.

What's the what's the what's the sorry it's gonna bother me? What's the I say, I say, Sam the rooster in in and walking bugs Bunny.

I say, yeah, Oh fuck, I don't know.

Is it Sam?

Yeah it is.

I think it's Sam because he takes that like remember that there's that uh that hawk.

I'll say, I say, I've never seen anything like this in my day.

I say, yeah, I see, he remember because that hawk always wants to like go get like I want to go get the eggs or whatever. And that hawk's always like and he's always trying to train the hawk a little like small old races. I think, I think it's so, let's get the last one and then we get some fun facts and yeah, take a little Christmas at the end of this. But talk a little Christmas. I guess we already have a whole episode. But uh, caja teo.

Oh so it's like a fucking It's literally like it's like a it's a double poop.

It's like a pin yota.

It's like they beat it until he comes out candy. You were gross. It was a real piece of poop. If you're bad, if you were really ugly, they just they you were. So that's really fucking weird.

I want to end in that's that because I was like looking that up and I thought that was the weirdest fucking ship that Like, it's like the It's like it is like Elf on the shelf, but you beat this piece of ship until it poops out candy.

I kind of like that. I kind of like that though, because it's okay, it's time for Billy's fun back to the day.

I do that every fucking time in my goddamn I don't want to I don't want to even record it. I want him to do it every time. It's different every.

Time we just record. It's so similar. Start, startup, fluck. So Billy's fun factor of the day, it's about evergreens. Because it's Christmas time.

You have that one I want you to say, please, it's Christmas time. Please say the one that I will say, the one you want me to say too. But I like the fact that evergreens are an ancient tradition, and I like this one more just because it proves Tom wrong. The reason evergreens came about where it goes back to the ancient Egyptians and Romans who mark their winter solstices with evergreens as a reminder that spring would return.

That's fertility, you dumb fuck. That's not fortillo. It is.

It's something coming out of every year of birthday. So the birth, that's what the shit's about.

Fucking harvest, you asshole. Anyway, it is like rebirth.

Get dumb for okay, sure, if you want to fucking you're real stretching on that one.

That's not what you meant by it. But anyway, so the reason like it all started though before the fact that it was like a as a reminder, it actually came sorry I was a lawyer.

It came from Prince Albert. Prince Albert, you can think you can thank for your Christmas tree, So you might want to brew a cup of tea when triming your tree this year to pay homage to its origins. When Prince Albert if Germany introduced a tree to his new wife, Queen Victoria of England, it really took across it. It really took off across the pond. A drawing of the couple standing in front of the tree with their kids set an example of a nice, warm Christmas for everybody.

Where's the other one?

No, no, no, I'll fucking do it. It doesn't exist, have to do it anyways.

Also, though, like so, there's the fact that women didn't have rights for a long time. Women didn't have rights for a long time. So growing up, like growing up when I was in the sixteenth century, about the sixteenth century and before that, obviously, women would pay tribute to their men and stand or sit on neil. I guess it'd be neil on their knees in front of the men, like they were giving a blowjob, begging for forgiven.

For the previous year. It also insinuated that if the men did not say you were forgiven, you were allowed.

To they suck like dick for twenty four hours.

No, they were allowed to straight or just kick you out of your own home, even if you own the home. So if you if you so, fuck so if man, if a poor man man. If a poor man married a rich woman, everything that she had is now legally binding all of his. So during Christmas time was pretty much a time where the rich woman would say, can I please stay with all the things that I've earned and I've grown up with? While not you've earned obviously

But it's so crazy, it's just like I'm gonna why I finished the mickey, You're I'm You're gonna like kick you out of the house. But it's just like that women had to fucking bag on their knees and be like, I'm.

Sorry, I burnt that one one pot road, I'm so sorry. Fuck remember said too much teeth. I was like, I'm sorry, and.

They already probably apologized like five times, and the man already probably beat them numerous times.

That was the big thing.

That was the fact that like they would do it in a group setting where it wouldn't be it wouldn't be personal.

Yeah, I actually look things up. They would do it weird anyway, except for the episodes recovering, because when I'm interested in I'm no.

But when they would do it in like a group setting, and it was more or less I think I didn't read this, but I think like the reason they would do that was to be betray a sense of all of the men are together, Like it would be like me and you, It would be like if you and I and both of our girlfriends were grappling. It would it would it would feel entitled and empowered because you would.

Look over at you and you'd be like me and you're a high five.

You'd be like yeah, but you wouldn't actually, but that feeling of like, yes, we are superior as opposed to being in your own home, and you'd be like, am I delusional?

But when you do it with somebody else, you feel like I'm in the face and be like, yeah, bitch, I don't I see.

I don't think that's they did stuff like that, like I'm sure some people did, but I don't know. It was just a purely like I am superior than you. It's like I'm not gonna make it my little whoreror, it's it's fucked up.

Well, that was a crazy fucking episode fun Christmas time.

It was fun.

AKA, we're gonna release this and if it does get off on YouTube, listen to it right away because it's good and there's no fucking way this is gonna last time.

I don't know.

You never know.

Well, I guess they're cut a lot of ship, but you know, follow the pages Trange, Bruce hose Heads with all the ship you know, w W Strange podcast dot com, Patreon will do some like we're gonna get started doing episodes for that. We have like three.

You know what, even if it's bad, he about we end it right now with a Christmas freestyle.

All right, I got no I can't say up that way. You're fucking ruined it for me.

I have to cut this ending out.

It's done.

We already mentioned it.

Merry Christmas.

We're gonna have a fucking Christmas freestyle out either way, Bill, because I can't.

I gotta switch over things. I can't because it was in a check ins account and all the money's save it kind of the same thing.

I gotta switch over accounts. I gotta switch things up. Merry Christmas, have a strange one.

Enjoy your family. Yeah, I don't care what they say about COVID. You see your fucking mom.

Do not go to your fucking old ass mom's house in the driveway trying to make her learn skype.

Fuck yourself see.

Your show from the fucking driveway.

So you press this button.

If she is actually super old, maybe maybe stay home just in case because you never know and like it.

Or just let them die.

It's okay they if they're that old, as Kevin Smith say, they had a big bucket of wind. If I was fucking eighty eighty five ninety, I'd be like, I'm good.

Don't like you, I'm good.

You can take my life.

God, see what hi guys, I love you. Bump from up