Welcome everybody to the first episode of the series Cult of Cryptids. This is a collaboration with Strange Brew Podcast hosted on the network of the Cult of Conspiracy. The fellas have allowed me to enter your circle and insert myself inside of your ear holes for a new series
all about cryptids. But to start off this series, we're going to be giving you some throwback episodes, some classic cryptid episodes that Strange Brew podcast did a couple of years ago, and it'll eventually lead us into new episodes. We'll be creating more and more cryptid content for everybody here at the Cult of Conspiracy. Now, if you don't know me, I am Tom kataka Tom Thompson, the Raptilian. I have many different aliases. I am a hip hop artist,
a podcaster, and an outspoken dissident of the government. And this should be a fun series for everybody. You're going to get some throwback episodes from cryptids that we've already covered over at Strange Brew Podcasts, and we want everybody to enjoy themselves. And we started off Stranger Podcasts as essentially getting drunk and talking about anything and everything strange,
and that included cryptids. So we're being brought on board every Wednesday to do a fun little series now where we're going to dive into all sorts of different cryptids and monsters and mythical creatures. And for the first little bit of the series, you'll get introduced to some of the older episodes from Stranger Podcasts where we covered some of this material. And if we sound like babbling, drunken idiots,
it's because at the time we were. But we still think that you will really enjoy our humor and what we're bringing to the table when it comes to podcasting. We only ever started this show to make light of dark situations and the weird, strange things that exist in our reality. Yes, at the beginning of this series, you will be getting some classic cryptid episodes that we've already covered on Strange Brew podcast and we really hope you
enjoy it. We're taking it back to a cryptid classic four years ago where we talked about technically a cryptid I would say about the dark side of fairies and pixies. Here at Cult of Conspiracy, Jeffrey.
Dahmer sod the blood are you and the bomber blowing up Waco, Texas? And Heaven's Gates, Aliens, Modify Men from Apes, Hitler faces death and then escaped, Big and the moth Man, Son of Sam, Talking to Talk Again, Witches, Sank, Codlin's Mysterious Noise, and Hot Dings, Dark Guards and the Scull and Bones.
Most elevenies a Provac loan. So when you're feeling all.
Alone, grabbing beer and get stone a welcome you to the podcast Strange Brew.
What are you to entertain you? That's what we're here do is I'm kind of very selfish, you fucking Welcome to the Strange Brew podcast.
Guys.
I'm your host, Tom kat Ak, Tom Thompson.
And I'm I don't like I'm also your host.
It is probably one of the hottest days we've had yet in Canada, and I'm getting sweaty. It's a nice it's a nice, nice fun I like it.
Today's a little.
A little too hot for my fucking liking.
You got you gotta get like that plus fifteen and yes I'm talking Celsius fucking lunatics Sharenheit.
Yeah, getting the real time it's like twenty hours ago.
I'm like, oh, Hot's that.
They're like four and they always have to get the Canadian like for the Canadians whatever, Celsius it's here, and I'm like, yeah, fuck off.
You know my favorite one is the fact that zero means zero. That's freezing point. Yours is like negative negative seven. What's the jamie? We got a we got a little jamie from Joe Rogan here.
To the difference fahrenheit and celsi is.
No. I just want to know what the freezing point is for freezing for fahrenheit. Isn't it like negative seven or something?
I thought it was plus something because they're their temperatures high.
Oh yeah, maybe yeah, plus seven. It's something stupid, that's the freezing point for fahrenheit.
I'm about to take a shot of some whiskey. I got some. Uh, two degrees is the free freezing point.
Isn't that ridiculous? How does that make sense?
I knew that because cooking.
Yeah, it's just a free The freezing points what gets me. That's why can't it just be zero?
Yeah? Almost? I also got some of your American beer Peraps Blue Ribbon, the disgusting Ship. But it's stronger, so.
It's not crant. It's not that bad. It's just a it's the iconic beer for anyone that lives in a trailer park. Yep, that's the beer they drink. Strange kind of brew.
All right, so let us get into it. We'll be talking about fairies, but more of the dark side of fairies. We can touch upon all sorts of faeries. Yeah, when you think about fairies, what comes to mind?
Uh? People?
I know a dude walking around and pride with the skirt on? Is that like a is that an actual term? No, fairies, but that's it's meant for? Like it's not again, like it's.
Is that an offensive term.
To describe?
Yeah? But like I feel like they call themselves that.
Yeah, little, I feel like I've heard.
I just feel like I've heard that. I feel like it. It seems like it's okay, but it is derogatory.
Yeah, yeah, well I get that, like all of them.
Yeah, I mean with that, with that exact example.
This before, like, I've got a gay uncle and you wouldn't be able to tell he's gay unless you talked to him, like and unless you see his fucking two nipple rings he has poking through his shirt. That's a fucking great telle that he's probably good.
I think I've seen straight guys nipple rings.
My cousin Dane did that. That was in the podcast. He said he got one nipple pierced and it was so painful that he didn't know what he got the second one pierced, and then he did it and then his nipples went purple and he had to take them out.
I almost got my peers a while back. I got scared.
To be honest, well, one thing I wouldn't get. Well, nipples supposed to hurt the most, especially even like on men. And I saw back in the day, I saw a girl get her nipples pierced, like I was just beyond the curtain, and I just satisfying beyond the curtain because they put the curtain across.
Yeah, that girl with a nipple piercing, And you were just on the other side of the curtain, like you were peeping.
On peeping tom. That's what they call me. Uh. You probably picture in a doorable and sparkle creature akin to to Disney's tinker Bell, a lovely above all friends press. You may even want to toke a tiny joint with them. Unfortunately, glittery humanoids with butterfly wings are stuff of children's stories. Retrace fairy folklore or fay folklore and in history and you'll discover they're they're weird and scary origins. And uh, me and my girlfriend just watched our prime Oh, Carnival Row. Yes,
Carnival Row. It was actually pretty good and it's based I'm going to show this out because it's a popular show and stuff like that, but it's actually a pretty good show. I can't wait in the next seas. It's almost like it's in a world where like creatures exist, mythological creatures, but it's like kind of set in like the eighteenth century, kind of nineteenth century, and they have like and there's somebody murders one of the fairies and
then Orlando Bloom has to solve the crime. But he's actually a fairy spoiler alert, but he gots wings cut off and like that. So it's kind of it's I know it would. It's it's actually a really good show. And like the guy who wrote it was amazed when they started to develop the show because a song he wrote that he never thought would become a television show and it's like a whole town and ship. He was like,
this is crazy, Like I wrote this fucking ship. Cultures all over the world put their own disturbing spin on the fay or fairies. Just because they're mythological doesn't mean that fairies are any less frightening. Let's get into the darker side of fairies. Just remember to shut your windows tight before you go to sleep tonight.
I kind of want a fairy to come in.
Yeah, you want to suck your dick. She was like looking at like a lick, just she could just lick if she's that small. We can say that. We can say that like that. All fairies, and we're gonna get a pixies too, are not just fucking little tiny creatures. Some of them can be human sized. But when I was looking up to it's like a lot of fairies have to do like more or less good ones. Uh, they more have to do with the elements of the earth. So there's like fairies that have to do with water,
bad and good ones. Fairies that like av well kind of yeah, they like to. There's fairies that live around bonfires and shit like that. I remember what bonfire stands for, the fire bone fire because they used to burn people right, So like and there's everything like fucking air fairies, earth fairies.
So they kind of do the elements of the Earth, but they're also like like really rooted into more Irish and Scottish culture, which is actually interesting because they're the ones that really believe, actually the Irish we believe in fucking fairies. Uh we did. We did exclude the leprechaun episode that we'll be back. We will touch upon leprechauns again one day, but we were just too drunk for the episode. Yeah, so that's uh, that's God Forever in
the Books of Trade. But we're definitely gonna get back into it because that ship's hilarious, like the way fucking they are in general. But so let's get in the first one. The banshee. You know what a banshee is probably.
Right, like the.
Screams.
It's not an ape, is not it isn't like what is it? It's a mammal.
Also known as a woman. Uh, furry back to the other way.
Hold up, what like, what category is a banshee?
Uh, she's a fairy.
No normal, it's a woman.
It's a woman.
No, the animal.
There's no animal called a banshee, is there not losing my mind? Yeah, there is no animal called a banshee. There is like, I feel like there is no a barracuda.
I'm thinking like a banci like a monkey. Isn't that a thing? No, there's no up thing. Where did I get that from?
I don't know. The banshee is essentially like a woman fairy. Are you listening? She originated in Ireland and is said to be the most active at night before a passing, so before somebody dies, she kind of shows up, almost like the grim Reaper.
Oh fucking okay, I was actually reading it. A banshee is yeah.
Okay, I think that was so she ended up. She shows up when people are dying, which is like kind of creepy like, almost like Grim Reaper and some folklore. She even comes to the doors of those who are expected to pass, like.
She could just hang out at the elder.
She screams right, it makes fucking loud noises. She looks like a full sized human female and know her appearance varies by region. Her hair is always stringy, and she always wears a white gown or a shroud.
It's got to be white so you see all the bloodstains, yes, because she gotta know every single one. The black ones hide it too much and you gotta show off your work.
That sounds got to know what did she the black ones?
The black dress?
See the black ones?
Yeah, like the black dress?
Okay he nobody else would have thought that. She frequently appears and she frequently appears covered in moss as well. She's like coming out of the fucking swampy bogs violin.
Like ocean ten days to die. Was she a mermaid?
No, but there is kind of mermaid ship when we will get into kind of I think, but the Banshee is recognized by her loud, her loud mourning whales. No, it would be like a whale, like you're crying, not like a whale, whil like a whaling. Oh like like you know she's crying, like no, my husband killed.
Me, you know what I mean? Like, I like. I like that my whale impersonation was good enough for you to think that that's what I was doing. I like that.
So, uh, if you hear her whales her moaning, which are she said that? Which means that she is the harbinger of death. So someone's about to die. If you hear a female moan, you might be about to die.
That happens way too much.
This is I so some of these words I might fuck up pronouncing. Sorry Irish people, a scotsh whatever's in.
It should be in our bio.
Just just a lot of spelling to be wrong. I know, are like speech, but I'm saying I looked up today how to pronounce all of these and some of them didn't even show up.
And just looking at that pronunciation, you put it in Google Speak and you press.
Did that some of these didn't show up?
What do you mean you? I could hit any I could just mash aboard and Google would say it.
This thing is called the bean fion, the bean fion. Let me try literally bean on fion, all.
Right, fair trade bean bean fion, typically illustrated as and haggard and old, probably a woman.
Red capes are said to be Oh no, they're just the little creatures, typically illustrated as haggard and old. Red caps are said to be said to be armed with razor sharp teeth and claws. They have red caps, and they are said that they have razor shop claws and.
Teeth like red skull.
No, a little like little hats, like like toad from our you know, you know, like that, you know, the fairy hats are like kind of like, oh yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, Like a weird little fucking triangle hat they wear like almost why would you cap either, do I It's almost like cluekluts clan rope, but were just out the road birthday, Yeah exactly, that's actually your way to put it. So they have raisor sharp teeth and claws which they used to eat humans and fairies alike.
Their name hints at their vicious nature. Red cat, Oh this is fucked red. Their red caps, their red little hats mop up their target's blood with their caps out there committing a slang. So they fucking murder. Someone's like, let's this clean this up right here, and take my little hat and I'll clean it up. And they put their hat back on it. It's like just drenched in blood.
No, their hat's probably like some crazy ass bounty material motherfuckers like that. That's where mister Clean came from. You like chopped like two of them up and made an enterprise.
And now now the mister Clean is actually a real person. He's a bald, gay guy with an earring, and he goes around and he fucking slaughters fairies for their hats.
That's what mister car I thought you were actually telling me a story for a second, and I'm really I'm like, I'm pretty sure it was mister clean based off.
He had to Okay, well, like I had to have been based off somebody bean. The bean fion or fairies are also known as the drowning fairies fucking dicks. They are said to pull children into their watery doom. What a fucking bunch of this.
Makes them drown? Yeah, a little horrible. That's a horrible way to die. I think I think I've said that a couple of times down. I think that's my worst I don't want to drown too much.
Content weird thing is I've heard drowning is actually peaceful.
I guess if you embrace it. If you just said fuck it and you like, let the water go, and they would knock you out like pretty instantly.
Every year when I go to the cottage, I don't give a fu I do this while I dive as far as I can kind of go, and I fucking chase myself to the fucking top. One day, Charles is gonna find me floating in the world.
I gotta come one weekend. Yeah, honestly, they at this second, I see you coming back up and like a cannon or something.
All right, So if if you're searching for a beef on you or fucking beef on fairy beef be bean bean fion, this doesn't sound You're advised to look around in dark waters where drownings have occurred because you might find one.
To find a dead body.
Billy heat round over there, and then we went over there and I saw a.
Fairy and it was right there and then and then and then.
These creatures were likely devised by parents looking to keep their children from playing in the water. But it doesn't make them any less.
Creepy, kind of does, Yeah, that's exactly what that does.
According to Irish folklore, the slaw or fairies, thought to have be the souls of evil people. These fairies travel and swarms that night. That's fucking scary and like, I don't get like that. I don't like the swarm idea, no, because we were talking about bees and that one and I don't know frogs. Frogs. It's like that, but often
appearing like blackbirds. There are like weird little creatures and they prefer the prey of dying people who have yet to given their last rights, which is a fucking dick move.
So well, that means they get some sort of representation, Like why can't I say that word? Uh?
What's the word repreendation? I don't know what I'm trying to recommendation.
It's a word you get when you feel proud of it, like you do something and you get some sort of reward for it. They can't think of the word. What word am I trying to say? No, it's okay, you feel you feel pride for it. Like someone's got to know what word I'm getting out here? No, like you take, like you do something you get, you get the feeling of you take separate. There's a word I like.
This, you take solace in doing bad ship because it eventually like you feel good about doing bad ship?
Right, that's okay? Or how a better word? The word I was trying to say, reward? Did they get some sort of reward for taking the soul before it gets.
The get dick move? Yeah, it's like they.
Get it, though I think so is it just like them going fuck you?
They might be doing and I have a kind of dick move. Some stories, however, some stories say that you can call them by feeling deep sadness or somebody by saying their name col Slaw col S.
Where the fuck is something their names the slot, it's like container and it's like a little lid with well.
No when we when the fans will never hear. But when we talked about leprechauns and like the bad leprecauns stuff that we'll get back into eventually. The whole idea of just something small and creepy, and there is there is weird videos out there that's obviously faked, but there's weird views that kind of show some of them that claim to be real, but I highly doubt they are.
We're like little creatures are like they filmed them going around the house on like a fucking a security camera or something, and it's like weird things like how like most leprechauns or fairies or some of the troll creatures right like the ones that in Irish folklore, they're like steal your shoes and then fix your shoes and shit like that.
Shit's weird, like did not like a dirty shoe. He cleaned that ship.
And they would clean shoes and ships like stuff like that. It is like creepy, but it's kind of funny, like a lot of it got.
Their own little niches if you.
Think about it, right, all all these tales are from ancient times and then they turn into fairy tales, you know what I mean.
So like it's kind of it turned in from real stories that just became so told and so not heard of that it seems ridiculous. Now. Yeah, there's maybe like four thousand years ago Aliens did come to Earth and they go, you weren't ready. Well, yeah, they saw that ship and they gave all these fairies and toads and well, I would think, and they're like, all you guys back on the ship, they're not ready.
Yeah, and mythological like unicorns, a lot of like and they just fucking like took it on a ship and was like, well they're not ready for this. But there's a lot of weird stuff to do with that in general. Anyways, about like creatures and stuff on this planet and is it just folklore or is it something that existed, Because if you have an Egyptian times and stuff, right like those there was giants, so it's said in the Bible. So if there is little fucking tiny little creatures.
To I gut. It's when someone said a giant. I'm sure it was. Here's the mic. You always get so mad at me for that.
That was whiskey.
I I feel like back then everyone was short, right, so you see one oddly freakish six foot seven guy, this guy was a giant. No, that's when everyone else.
Could that could be true also, but there was different variations that just get that point. It's like those statues in Europe, I mean Europe, those statues in Egypt that are supposed to be like sitting like on the things that are like fucking fifty feet tall, supposed to be
the Egyptians carve them, uh to their size. They actually were that big because well even one when we're doing the strange ones, like when he was talking about it, he said, like there's depictions of them with like a line on their lap, and he's like, they were supposed to be depicted. Wan's a fucking smart dude. He does a lot of reaches and stuff, and he believes like
this is like that it could be true. And then maybe they were giants and they had like they had full grown fucking lines on their lap.
And they the Amazonians.
Yeah, man, that would be hot. I'm not gonna lie like they're like, oh man, big sexy women, yeah fuck yeah, like tall, not like big big. I'm not a fucking was gonna Once the Slaw have you in their sights. The only way to get rid of them is to offer them another person in your place. You might want me, but I got this like this, But he's real chill. He's a little skinny, but man, he'll make you laugh.
You can just put him in a cage and like just whip himntil he tells you jokes and he'll be laughing. But what's his name? Here's his address over there. But they're easy to spot in their humanoid form. Uh, So this law looks like a mel nourished people with leathery wings. So it just looks like an Ethiopian kid with wings on. This is taking a dark whatever. Al right, so let's get in the next one. Those were the Slaws. Those are weird creatures. I'm sure a whole episode could be
done about fucking half these fairies. There's a lot more detail a lot of them. But the Vicary, uh should come over here and pronounce these names. I couldn't vicarous Vicarus, vicarous vicarous gather outside the homes of dying people. Why is it they're always around dying people, Like it seems like.
They got to be feeding off something like their soul energy, Like they got to be like yeah, like when they die, like that last remaining thing. That must be like, because if you go into a body of a perfectly healthy person, like it must be harder to gain access to their soul as it is a weak elderly.
Yeah, we'll get into those, don't worry. So the vicarios gather, I said, the homes of dying people, well, happily chattering to each other. Yeah, yeah, you see that bitch over there, she's good dies?
Or are they fucking construction workers on an IBM? In the lunch there's sandwiches that are lunch. Her soul looks big and juicy.
Man, I want that. Yeah, girlic are you gonna die yet? Okay?
Wait? Wait?
Are you to have another stroke? Having limp?
And did you twist your ankle? Getting old? I can't tell.
It's hilarious. These so they're eighteen inch hall so they're like they're pretty like they're like an action figure size. They're like like this big. It would be like it would actually be like.
A g I.
Joe action figure, Like the bigger ones would would be scary as well.
There's a bunch of them.
They can bite your fucking ankles.
And shud you do sweet kicks though, like I'd be stomping. There's stump right now.
Well, there's always that talk like would you rather go against a fucking giant, big dude, or would you rather go against like fifty fucking either fourth graders or midges?
D you expect yourself into a bathroom stall and just I got that from somewhere I don't remember.
So there are harbingers of doom, and they're instantly recognizable thanks to their vivid red color and bloodstained teeth.
Yeah, I'm gonna say that's pretty that's pretty recognizable.
But if you think about like Gamma Gamo the Toro, the guy that makes all those horror movies and stuff, I know horror movies pretty well, Yeah, gambled al Toro he uh he he's done a lot of weird movies. Some of them like he did that movie, what is it called, uh The Shape of Water? Yeah, yeah, the woman falls in love with the creature. So he does
a lot of that stuff. He had a movie and I can see in my head the poster, but it was all about fairies and how these people go to this old house and then they end up unlocking stuff and all these fairies come up, but they're bad fairies.
It was actually pretty good. I think it's like saying abu darkness signing, but like I actually liked that movie, Like and now he took the aspect of making fairies kind of scary and even if you look at like, I've joke into my girlfriend because around quarantine we should watch all the Harry Potters again. But like how I I love Harry Potter, Go fuck yourself. But there's the one thing where the guy thinks he's really good at being a fucking wizard and he unleashes all the fairies
in the classroom. But they're all like bad fairies and they're fucking with people and picking them up by their fucking shirts and shit. So stuff like that that's pretty funny, like the fact that they could do damage if they really want to pick you, like fucking fifty them and pick you up and then drop you off a cliff or something like. They could be dangerous. According to folklore, the vicarous. They can be appeased, but it isn't easy. They require a shrine filled with a daily burnt offerings
of flowers and spices to leave you alone. So it's like, here's my weed, buddy, browed you a bowl man? Come, come come over here. Yeah, and you put them in the pie and then you fucking eat them?
Oh my god?
Okay, uh you want to try this one? Up birds? I just want couldn't find the pronunciation either, birds ut birds up Birds are fairies that are believed.
To be probably an Irish word.
Yeah, this is coming from all around different cultures, but a lot of fairy folklore comes from Ireland. I can't do an Irish accent, dude.
We practice that for so long before THEE and we.
Were both good at going to Ireland, you know, to old fairies and Ireland.
Because then I look in like two sixth graders staring at a YouTube video like.
Yeah Fromland, and we have Irish Irish fans, So what up brows? Like, what's going on?
Accents like very easy to do after we have accents to you.
I bet we do, but I don't notice it because we speak clear and concise. We don't talk like this, and I'm sorry, I'm not making for your accents.
I don't believe we speak that clear and concise. Yeah, but that's a lot of people.
So uh So, the upper the Upward fairies are believed to be revived spirits of babies who were pasturing harsh winters. That's really weird that so they're babies that die during a winter, Like that's fun.
I guess, well, you don't have insulate, like you're probably living in huts and ship Like what year is this?
Sorry? Way back inta be like you're what one hundred?
Yeah, like people didn't have fucking nice insulated homes. Only the rich did. Everyone else was living like people are in Africa. Now, Yeah, I fucking said it. Nobody fucking cares about you. Keep wearing your face mask.
I'm not gonna wear my face.
There's my fucking rant of the day. That's as far as I can think.
And that shot my my eyes water.
I love how you didn't even have chime in on that time.
What I didn't hear what you said? I was fucking you didn't fuck you? Well, it's like.
This is a weird.
So I don't know if I ever said this before, it's kind of weird that, like my brother his grandma grew up in this house supposed to be haunted you with the harsh winters and stuff. And so what happened was a family was in there in the house in the nineteenth century before there was heat, and he went out to hunt during the winter just to try to find them food and like forest fire bullshit, right, and he left and the door opened, okay, and the whole, like the kids and the mom all froze to death.
So I wasn't listening taking a shot when I did, so essentially the fucking that now when if you go in this house, I think it's sold now. But like the door would just slam all the time, especially during winter because the dad's spirit has seemed to stuck around.
I say, it's a weak door and heavy wind. You're a weak door, Yes, I'm a door.
They tend to haunt anyone who hangs around the sights of their demise, which is kind of weird. Someone like fucking trips in oh So, like I would think of a place where people have died or people that got fucked up or drowned or something. They just they seem to harbor.
Like it's going to happen again, Like I'm waiting for another one so I can get the fresh soul.
Misery is their mission. Upbirds are known to transform it too, large and terrifying owls that prey on the night travelers. All right, next one, Fairies aren't just menacing to humans. They can be a threat to their own kind. Consider the kelpies. I've definitely one thousand percent of kelpies. That's an Irish fairy, and they can be They differ in if they're good or they're bad. The kelpies sometimes are good. Yeah,
a kind of a kind of human eating faye. So you're right, they like to the humans a small, small, ugly.
And bulbous themselves.
Yeah they're eating well yeah, yeah, so I think they're eating them their own kind and maybe other fairies also because they they're human ones. They're human being face, they're also being humans too, so they're eating I think whatever they come across that can maybe help their tummies not grumble. But but they're small, ugly and bulbous, so they look
like light bulbs. That's what every Now I hear the bulbous, it means like your head looks like that dude from fucking how the Hills have eyes where it's just in the charities, half retarded.
You won't remember that movie.
Yeah, like the remember remember the Cephalis people you talked about where they had big heads and ship like on the.
Big head, I didn't think. I think.
I think it means big head, like it probably looks like a light bulb.
It probably doesn't mean that, not like that.
You never heard the Cephalis heads or what they called their water, their brains filled water.
You know, but maybe maybe your cheeks are also that. Maybe you just have a huge head.
Yeah. Kealpies are known for their foul tempers. God damn fucking fairies. I can imagine what your voices be like.
Voice gotta put Yeah, it's gotta be like what like am I doing? Like a six ft fairy or six in.
Yeah, that's what you would hear. It's just like nothing. It's almost like the episode of The Simpsons where Bart's a fly and it's like but he's like, help me, I'm a fucking fly. That's so true because you'd be like fucking.
Murdy pitch because you're barely hearing magin pits.
Of ship, ye go hear it nonsense. They were once said to crop up everywhere in Scottish, so they're Scottish, so they would hide in Scottish locks, which is obviously boat fronts and stuff.
I don't know why, I just envisioned like a key lock and the motherfuckers I can't wait till he put this key in this door, and then he's sitting there.
Waiting for the slide tune. I thought about as soon as you said, that's fucked we have fucked up brains. And they say like the hey know, in the sea, the North Sea, so like they're almost like they're water fairies, I think more or less than they they're almost like a little weird mermaids saying but they they fell into decline thanks to their appetite for other fairies. So they're like hanging with you and like that was sorry. I'm hanging out with you and I'm getting hungry, and they
look at you. I'm like I can go so and like they would be shitty because you know, you have maybe a coupla kan and he's shown with his buddy, I'm trying.
A fairy dah.
His name's Cooplacan and then he's with Billy bow salad. Yeah, he's hanging over your salad and he's like, you look good. You look good for me but also bad for me. But I want to eat you anyway.
Can we do a p s A real quick?
Sure, salad is not good for you. It's romain, lettuce and cheese and fucking dress.
That dressing is horrible for you. It is so fucking my favorite salad. It's pretty good. It's not bad. I just hate when I'm gonna go al salad. Yeah, smile and I'm like, you are if.
You do see your sold half. The dressing with chicken not so bad, of course, but that dressing is fucking off. That kale like those fucking hippies.
Man, you're speaking of it. We just watched the Fu Once upon a Time in Hollywood again.
I want to hear about that ship. That movie bores me. Uh, but they like the end that the old The entire film, you the only part of the entire film was the.
But it's worth it. That's that's what Tarantino does.
Quentin Tarantino disappointed me. Man, Reservoir Dogs. Amazing movie you have. His movies are great, fucking uh like everything fair.
It was. It was a more boring one, but it was the first time.
So the kelpies don't discriminate when it comes to slang. You can be you can be black, white, Hispanic, you can be anything. They don't. They don't discriminate. You can be fairy, you can be human, you can be a fucking leprechaun. Those motherfuckers probably picking up leprechauns and be like, you look a good snack. And I think rap crowns would be down for rape. Uh. There there are even folk folk tales about kelpies who take the appearance of
sea horses. Oh yeah, I definitely heard about this and looking this up, and they like, well, take a thing of it, and they'll lure in young maidens who they obviously submerge on the water and devour them. A weird thing about kelpies is fucking weird. They'll pep look almost like mermaids. Will they can attract like females to them and lure them into the water. But also, uh, they can transform into hairy man the men with hairy chest, big brooding men. And yeah, they will essentially drag you
back to the waters. Were just like you know, a woman's like going by the waterfront picking her flowers, and guest comes over, this hairy chest like he wants to come over, a little skinny dipping over here, and.
He says, you're not coming here. There's your ankle and your face hits the fucking ground.
Okay, the hill the fuck? Heal the fuck?
I can't imagine.
I know it is, trust me, look it up. Yeah, I know this is No, it's hell the fuck. It's the hill the folk, But how they pronounce the fuck? The hill? The f are Icelandic fairies that are somewhat neutral. Some people believe. They believe them to be beneficial. They build tiny wood homes to for fairies to live in. That is so cute. They're a little carpenter fairies. That's adorable. The hill the folk aren't typically malicious, but they do have a strict moral code. These human like creatures are
known to attempt to seduce people. But I got a question, if you were going to be seduced, what is the best way of seducing you dick?
You seducing is no just pulling down my pants, suck my dick, and then and then you seduced me into whatever else you wanted to do with me. I'll be blonde. That's a good start. I don't like that.
My girlfriend said, I don't get it because you're blonde.
No, because I am very attractive. A blonde hair.
You like who you like. It doesn't really give a fuck. You like Billy now that he looks like a fucking in sync member.
She doesn't, all right, So we try to fix it. By the way, you didn't even mention anything about that. I did not see it, Yeah, because it didn't fucking work. I sat with this ship in my head, put toner in it, and then I also use purple shampoo, and they said that's supposed to work. Pay to what paint? Oh Tom, just pain in your hair. It's good. It's blue? Now, am I pretty boy?
All right? The brownies.
Don't make me make a stupid, edible joke right now. Don't say that about Oh my god.
The brownies are typically guardian fairies. Okay, so I can hear it out. Okay, so these fairies aren't that bad there.
These are typically like, my god, what you're just talking about the brownies and then that bad.
No, these fairies are not bad. They're typically guardian fairies who do chores and help around the house.
I know, but you didn't. You didn't start that sentence off.
Well, if anyone knows anything, m say it. Please don't what nationality you're maids?
Hey, I can say that one. Because they're they're Mexicans, I'm allowed to talk about them.
Well, well, that may sound sweet and endearing. Folk tales say the hideous they're hideous to look at. So it's funny. It's like, these brownies come to your house and she's like, I just want to clean. Can I clean your house? I am addicted to it? Can I just clean your bathroom? I got the squabby, I got the soap, and then they look fucking hideous.
It's like, last hideous part? Where did you get the footage of my mom from.
You come to the toilet? I put the toilet bowl cleaner in and clean.
It twenty years ago. Fuck, I'm living flashbacks.
So it's funny that like it. It's funny. That's like they're they're why they're in we're talking about dark fairies, but they're they're in the dark Fairy episode because they're really ugly, and it's like, no, they're trying to be helpful, but you don't even want to look at them. It's like no, no, just over there, clean the toilet and then put your head in it. Yeah, in some regions
of Scotland. Yeah, I said, it's Ireland. Ireland and Scotland have fucking weird fairy fucking ship because they're always so fucking drunk. Think they ship and they think they station. Uh, they have no separate what they have, no separated toes or fingers, So it's like.
Just like not not even are they even web or they just like one of those myths that you can't fucking move your fingers out of.
Have you ever seen the pants labyrinth? No fucking guy with his fucking eyes in his hands.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I have seen that.
He's a fairy. What you think when you see It's a good movie, but you have to read the entire thing. And I think that movie is from Giambo del Toro too.
Yeah, that's maybe that's why I know that movie from that movie is.
Pretty good if you want to read fucking ship. Because she's in like World War one or two or some ship in rush or some ship and she ends up finding a labyrinth that she goes down into and then she discovers that guy and he's a fairy, and there's like, I can't see that creeps me out. So in other areas, other areas they have holes in their faces where their no should.
Be, they have no.
What's Baltimore, Yeah, yes, like Baltimore. Yes, Uh, we also have let's get into this, uh the calm, Yeah, the Cali cancer row. Fairies are all Fairies are always without clothes, sexy, they're always naked. No, it's like if you have a figure out this big, it's like one of those lighters. It's like you click closed. No, closed closed. No clothes have seen those stuff. They don't sell anymore, so they
don't have closed. So if a fairies appearors on my little thing, on my little knee right there we're recording, do they have manscaping? She has some big bush going on.
Fairies hip puberty, I would think.
So they grow to full grown people. They're just different sizes. Yeah, but I mean yeah, I would think so. Yeah, I would think. So maybe I don't get Harry, Well that might while that may make you uncomfortable, Uh no.
What if we're talking about those seven foot dude ones. But yeah, no, yeah, it's some fairy.
But he's got a dick hanging down to his kneecap, and it's like he's like at eye level. It's like he's like, hey, that's a good billy. It's like, can you get a fucking dick out of my face? The thing is there are small little creatures like just just just staying there. I'll take a little little snapchat. It's like Jennifer Aniston has a fairy. I'd be all about it.
I'm sure you know what. I would be fair.
I love Jennifer Anston so like years ago, I like her now than I did when she was younger. Yeah, milfy man, Well that might make you uncomfortable. The creep factor comes in their feet. They're usually shaped though, like like those of different animals, so they have like hoofs or talons like fucking like, it's that's creepy.
So I look like a sexy girl and they have feet like centaurs.
Yeah, what do you do? You only get head from that because I am banging a half horse woman and looking at the back.
I guess granted, you could bang a six inch tall lay and it's probably be great for both of you.
It's like a finger puppet.
It would be a great time.
For both of you finger puppets. Yeah, I like that the Cala, the Cala cancer row. Our fairies are tending to be uh that they ride what they ride around on chickens and they're blind.
So it's like, okay, the chicken where to go?
I guess.
So that's a that's a lot of trust they got there.
That's fucking weird that they're naked riding on chickens and their feet look fucking fucked up. So they typically are found in groups. Sometimes they even recruit out cast fairies to be their guides. So we know about the Cala cancer Row. But the fact that they like they're coming groups. So if you see a flock of fucking chickens, be careful. The might cum repew. Dude.
There's so that happens all the time.
You see flocks of chickens everybody, I.
Don't see them, but they are in flocks when they're at farms and ship all right, then, all.
Right, the Bend is a clan of Welsh fairies. Uh so, so they're British fairies. So I'm saying it's it's just funny how there's like there's not a Canadian fairy. There's not like some dude like I drink maple syrup, but I I abduct women. Like it's just like I abduct women. It's well, that's what a lot of the fairies seem to be doing, is abducting people or fucking taking people's soul,
especially the dark side of fairies. That's what I'm saying, Like all the fairy tales that you think, the listeners that you guys think, you know, all that ship's fake, wasn't it wasn't there.
A part of me. Sorry, let's let's go back real quick. It wasn't fake. But this is what real.
No, everything's real.
Okay, So everything is everything.
Everything is everything and nothing is nothing.
Okay, we're not even doing a podcast right now. Tom, I'm consoling you.
Can I say something that's funny?
Uh?
The myth, the myth about Peter Pan is that Peter Pan died and he's trying to killed children I think it is, and bring them back to he's like dead, but he died as a kid, so he's trying to kill other kids. It's like you said, A clan of Welsh fairies are notoriously baby nappers. They kidnap human babies and replace them with their own deformed offspring.
Fun coming into your crib one night your baby's crying. I don't.
They're known to do with the kid. They're known as crim bills. Crim bills, crim bills, crimbles. They're known as crimbles. That's like seeing There is a lot of fairy folklore where they fucking take babies and this is the creepiest one taking babies and all people. Yea, yeah, it seems like they that's what they do. Sometimes the bendith will return the baby after teaching it about music. Yo, you want to hear about n w A straight at Compton, crazy mother fucking name from a gang called you know.
Yeah, why can't you say ice cube?
I don't know ice cube.
We're gonna get sued.
For that, baby might uh, which is fights like we're gonna teach you about We're gon We're gonna teach you about slip.
Now.
I don't think that's what teaching music means. No. I think he means here, learn how to play the piano.
No, it's it's one of those uh it's a whatever those old ukulele things they have that's not like ule like that that remember the Disney movie Robin Hood were the fucking h that's the quiz. It a crow a chicken. He comes running, strums his little ukulele. Yeah yeah, three or four strings, it's nothing. I think it's three. So they would teach them, but often then not parents required the assistance of a witch to get their child back.
To where are you finding these witches? I thought they were all burned now that this time error. This is back when the witches.
They were fucking Kate never seen Sleepy Hollow. Actually a fucking great movie that treats me out when I was a kid. Gihnny Depp and shit. He goes to that one witch to like try to figure out shit, and she fucks with him and stuff. It's like witches are like they will be like if I do this, you have to eat my pussy or something, you know what I mean. Uh, when they aren't, when they aren't taking children, Uh, the Bendith get their kicks of riding horses and tangling
their manes. What a bunch of fucking douchebags. It's like, we're gonna ride these horses, I guess we're gonna do. We're gonna tie your mane around your throats. Then when you run you choke yourself like that's like essentially what you're acting like like a bunch of douche bet. I think it's mean. Things they do is mean.
Get off, enjoy that.
Oh this is interesting, awesome the next one, because honestly, all these could be their own topics on their own end. But the mischievous Willow the whips Willow the whips haunts the marsh It's literally Willow the whips haunts the marshy grounds and loves practicing and playing practical jokes.
Where are the marshy grounds?
It's probably Ireland or Scotland, you know. However, their jokes consist of leading travelers astray with flickering lights.
It's almost like a haunting though, to make them lost you were trying to get to the stack.
No, but there is there's a lot of funny ship do with that, like the ghosts of Venture show. Stupid show. I hate Zack Baggins and ship, but like ghost shows and do that. Like I've seen footage like of weird Ship where like they see blinking lights. Who knows if it could be people out in the forest fucking with people, because just like around the area where the New Jersey devil is. People see flickering lights and stuff like that,
but that would trip you out. You see floating weird lights, and it's funny that most people think it's ghost something. Imagine if it was fairies like holding up a flashlight and be like, come, come towards, and come towards.
What are they gonna do when you get there?
However, their jokes consist of, yeah, sometimes leading people straight to their dooms in the box. So it's like they're like there's like in hypnotized falling these lights and they fall in the bog and it's like fuck and then you're like drowning and then all you know, these do they do? They just like jump on your head like a little boy trying to push. Yeah, yeah, there you go, like Mario trying to push those turtles to their doom. Is believe that they steer clear of the willow wisp
foot pass is the best way to avoid them. How the fuck are these fairies that don't fly? Because how am I supposed to avoid their footsteps? If they're fucking fairies?
Are you saying every fairy has wings? You just said like those dudes with hands his eyes was a fairy wings. He did the hiding Oh pardon me, sorry, I didn't realize the hiding wings are there. They're hiding, yeah, do you?
And that's how you fly. Your body's bent like a fucking you. So it just like dragged your That's pretty funny. So like, although they're known to sometimes help people who are kind to them and offer them money, Yeah, they're pretty much a threatening creature that you shouldn't fuck with, A threatening but solidary creature.
It doesn't sound like really they're doing much unless you get into your own predicament. Yeah.
I agree.
It's like once you're drowning, they're like, hah, now's my time to shine the fish.
You think it's the Vashan all right? The fishan or what do you gotta?
What do you gotta? Like extra pronounces?
I think it's so the Vashon fairies lives in the highlands, the Highland mountains, so Ireland or Scotland. So that's like highlands.
Where's the Highland Mountains? I know which one that is? That's in Ireland, right, Jamie. The Highland Mountains are Inland mountains.
Yeah, I would think Scottish or Irish.
It is in Ireland. It's uh fuck, I want to Actually, is not a show called Highland? Yeah, yeah, no Island. No, that's right, you're right, that's right.
There's not fairies in Montana, right.
Well, apparently there's everywhere across the island mountains. Know, she is right. I don't know why I thought Ireland.
Would you call them the falcons? I would call them fackings, creepy and weird. Nature is due to its appearance. It it as it only has one of everything.
Well, one eye one no.
One ear, one arm, one leg, one toe.
And one eye doing to give them the middle finger? Yeah, bit, what if it only has one?
All these features are centered directly below the middle of the body, which is both hairy and fucking Oh my god.
So what's on the top of the half of the body?
Nothing ahead, So you have a head and then everything else is super hairy. But you just to have one stump leg with one arm sticking out and has one toe. I'm confused. I don't see pictures of yeah.
Uh.
These creatures are said to be so hideous that they mirror the sight of them. That's funny that the mere sight of them can stop a person. It's hard ship. You're ugly and they die. Sh that's fucked.
I have to do that sometimes us in stores, and I gotta put bags over my head because I feel real bad.
Oh we're gonna be like Shilah buff I'm not famous anymore. Yeah you are, Bud. All the features are Yeah, yeah you are. But the Vashon is sensitive about not having wings. So not all fairies have wings or the gift of flight. So it's like not go to heaven. Yeah, so it waves around a spike club at all living things that cross this past. So I'm not going to use the word retarded, but like it's like a it's essentially like a handicap fairy that only has one form of body where they're.
Like, I'd just like to say a second ago, I just asked you, do not all fairies have wings?
You say no, I know no, And I said that not. I said, you're right, then all fairies have wings, don't. It's one one stump leg thing and he has one arm that he swings this fucking like club. He must have one dick, only he has one of the so so he has one of everything, which means he might just have one dick with one.
Ball like.
Hitler. Hitler one Hitler had one testicle. Hitler has one testicle. Yeah, you should know that. Oh so these uh, some of these creatures live in caves underwater. So these are more of the water fairies, and they have control of the weather and the seas, so like a firestorm. Yeah, the
actual movie. Yeah. Yeah, if you ever plan on ceiling on the high seas, make sure that you have what it takes to defeat the sea kelpies Ac'ording to folklore, captains have escaped escape disaster on the water simply with sharpened tongues.
However, what the how do you get how do you escape water with a sharp tongue?
No, no, it's not like you're looking your girls vagina. It's like he talked his way out of it. He's talking his way out of it. That's however, the blue Men of the the minch Or, like sea kelpies, can only be beaten with a rhyming, rhyming duo. Oh fuck yeah, I could do that, Tom Press, I will demolish all these kelpies.
The rhyming duo. You need to have two of them.
Yeah, it's a rhyming duet almost where you have to not even like that, where you have to almost rhyme. You have to battle wrap the kelpies to give them stuff.
The same rhyme, need two people to come at them.
Yeah, So me and all these kelfies, you're welcome. Yeah, I know.
I will take gifts now in the form of cash.
The funniest thing would be is like sailors, Like, okay, we came into the port of Branford and Cambridge. We're looking for two specific people. We we heard about these guys named Tom, Katt and Kirby. We need them to help defeat the kelpies. Why do you need that? They have to be able to lyrically rhyme and they go.
Yes.
So we're looking for them, and it's like me and you're at a bar.
We stand up and it's fucking battling. It's like we're gonna lose. Tom, We're gonna lose.
You're like looking for your right pirates and it's like, we need these two. It's like, are you sure you want those two? We're both drunk at a fucking bar, like I can steal fucking r do sing ding ling fing ming rap schmap Oh you still got it. So the worldwide stories of fairy changelings fairies steal children from cradles and leave a fairy or fay substitute. So we're gonna got to dive into more of why the fairies take kids, right, So supposedly am I right with this
sole thing? And you might be supposedly stories of fairy or fay or pixies throughout supernatural means are capable of abducting babies from humans wins, replacing them with their own. So we've heard that before. That's the biggest thing. When it comes to weird, strange fairy folklore. It is usually a wise and old fairy who would who would proceed to eat and drink vigorously and maintain a surly silence.
So they yeah, they replace They take human babies and they replace them with some fucking old man being like, where's my whiskey? Can you give me a cigar? Like it's like they're creepy men, yeah, like doblin. Yeah, it's funny because they maintain their silence obviously, so nobody knows what's going on. With external advice, the parents are usually advised to rid themselves of changelings and restore their own babies from the fairies. The ruses carry out through unusual works.
There are many variations of the story, but the brothers Grim summed it up in a concise form and main components of a typical change link story from the mid nineteenth century in Germany. So this is how the story goes. A mother had her child taken from the cradle by elves. In place, they laid a changeling with a thick head and staring eyes who would do nothing but eat and drink. Okay, so he's a drunken little baby. It'd be like, give me that breast milk? Oh? Is that breast milk?
Up?
Rumen it Like they're like fucking like they're literally drunken old Yeah, they're drunken old men that they replace and they have like fucked up pads and shit. In distress, she went to a neighbor and asked for advice. The neighbor told who told her to carry the change link into a kitchen, set it on the hearth. I don't I guess it would be like an oven or a stove,
because I don't know fucking this terminology. Make a fire, boil water and two egg shells in the water with two eggshells, Uh, they should make the changeling laugh, give me some mar vodka. Yeah, and if it laughs, it will be over for him.
So he dies.
Well, they had to place him in boiling water, I guess, and they have to make him laugh while he's in the boiling water, and it might kill him.
Maybe he can like hold his shields up, he holds his breath or something.
And then all these stories are extremely weird, but they're funny, caring. It was like the extra But why does that? Is the thing. So the women did everything just the neighbors said. And when she placed the eggshells filled with water over the fire, the changeling said, now I am as old as western Wood, but never seen anyone cooking in the shell. So I don't know what the that means.
But maybe western was a brother of his, and like he was like the elderest of the child. He's like, everyone fucking knows how old and grumpy western Wood is.
And he began to laugh about it.
You're gonna boil me, but they do, they do, but they do.
So he's in it, and a brand of little elves suddenly appeared. They brought the Rightful Child and set it on to the hearth. The heath the hearth, we're instead of well, kind of fairies have do with alves. So elves were giving alves took away the baby and brought in the change lang, which is an old fairy. Yes, and the changeling, the change thing was taken away very quickly. So it's that's a very weird thing. So see in like that whole story is kind of weird to me.
How they do take children and they were replace them with changeling and it's like, uh, a handicapped baby, you would think, you think, like say the take away from like just upon after birth and then you wake up and like your child looks like a little old man, like smoking a pipe and fucking drinking a whiskey sip, and like, my child has really matured over the give her the titty, right and he suck on the titty and he wants some milk and he's like, that's not whiskey.
Well it depends what house hearing.
Yeah, if you're from Brantford, they might have whiskeys.
Chance, that is fine.
Well, the belief so let's getting a pixie ship, which is fun. Well, the belief in pixies was localized to Britain. They are similar creatures shut such as the Northern Fairies and the scan Scandinavian Elves. They also interact with humans, and they're also calmly mistaken for one another, so you might think one fairy is another fairy kind of thing,
and then they might think that themselves. It's like, Yo, I'm gonna hook up with a fucking fairy and then she's riding on top of him like you're a fucking pixie, man, I'm supposed to mix with you.
You think maybe it's just that's just being super racist to the fairies. It's like, I think, like all white people look the same.
Despite being very different. Pixies are much smaller than fairies with pointed ears.
So even if they had their hat over their ears, what you know, is it that subtle?
Well, if if you get into like stuff like that, like I would think Pixie would more be like tinker Bell. And uh, actually it wasn't a bad film. Chelsea loves them. Uh, the one with Angeline and Joe Lee where she's.
The pixie the fairy. I don't know. I don't the last fairy movie I ever watched.
Leficent lef sin No, never heard of it. She knows that's it. The lefs in the the latest movies and Blessed Maleficent is supposed to be the evil witch kind of but she's nice. I mean, Chelsea watched the new one and it literally has to do with fairies. How she was a good fairy and then people fucked with her and then and it's kind of the same thing as like you can't fuck with mother nature before mother
Nature fucks back, right. So yeah, literally literally some of them have wings while others look like more like trolls and travel on horseback. That is weird, no, and more traveling on horseback? Why is that a thing where fairies are traveling on horseback?
Maybe their little their little fairy wings or get tired like the otherwise.
That choked the horse is like when you funk with their man. So we hope they die, That's what it is.
Maybe those picks don't like each other and they're fucking with their cars, like they grant that horse on the wrong farm corner.
That's so true.
Uh.
Some even prefer to shape shift and new hedgehogs and Dartmoor. The pixies are Pixies disguise themselves as bundles of rags. So it's like I just mopped up a bunch of my jism. Oh my god, is that a pixie? Like Jesus, there's a bunch of rags.
I think there's a pixie in here.
You you like just on a rag and you put it down and then starts poking up, moving and walking across the room like what the fuck? And then you pick it up children and know the pixies got the rag over its head, trying to carry like an ant would do to sugar, and like trying to pick it over his head and bring it to like I'm gonna take this Jim and I'm gonna make a full grown me.
Yeah.
This is also creepy. Little children find these rags and play with them, becoming trapped by the pixies. Oh my god, why do why?
They started to ask.
Because they're like, oh, these kids are playing with the coum rag and then they fucking like pounce on them, and then.
Little pixies are trapping twelve year old yes.
Or like children so I think eight nine year olds. But that's weird to me. Why are fairy folklore the ones that we don't know about the more? Why does it all have to do with kids and them taking kids away.
It might be it's got to be the weak soul thing.
Pixies have been accused of learning children out of their caves, like like the get children to their caves with promises of treasure and keeping them for days. These guys are the they can come hang out. I'll cook you some good feat.
I wonder, I wonder if that's where the guy got the idea for free candy on the side of his van. He was like an evolved pixie.
Then when the Pixies get sick of the children and we're like, man, this baby's boring me. What about you, Johnny, Oh yeah, fucking he's boring me.
Not a fan of this kid.
They knock them out at least they don't kill them magically, not physically, and they return them to the very spot they abduct them from. So it's like it almost sounds kind of like child abduction.
It's like kind of little well, you can just take a child a child deduction, just taking it.
I think anything else is children that has abduction cases. I seem like, what else would it be then sexual other than a mother being like, well I want to raise a baby. I don't have a baby because my womb is dormant, so I have to get a baby from the fairies.
That exact thing, besides the fairy thing happened in my family. My aunt got super jealous couldn't have kids, and they broke into my cousin's house and planted coke on his dresser and called the cops so the kids would go into social services. And he did serious, and the kids would go into social services and then they could call and claim them.
But I've had some fucked up stories, man, Like that's fucking stupid.
My family's fucked up.
The children wake up and they have no idea how much time has gone by or what has actually happened to them. But wouldn't the parents know.
Kind of well, what if it was just a super accelerated time, like it was only gone for like half an hour, But to the pixies it was like weeks.
The creepy harbadging human is weird, not always weired me out, Like you're replacing the fucking baby fairy the fairy, an old fairy with an old man with a new baby.
It's gotta it's got to just be temporary. It's got to be for like half a night when you hope to God their parents are sleeping. They would have no get a little more pixie ship all. If a human traveler through Pixie territory falls to show respect, like they fail to show respect for the little people of the land, they're misled, or they call it hashtag pixelated on the moor sount As punishment, Pixies can confuse mortals so bad they never recover the use them, so they'll be lost.
In a forest forever being Like the pixies confuse their heads and they're like, I was I think I was campfire. These lost humans are reduced to wandering aimlessly, uh, singing to themselves or speaking to un or speaking an unidentified language.
Uh.
These fairies who dwell in the Somerset wanted to change, wanted to change of scenery, so they attempt to move to Devon and they would extend their territory. So the Pixies were kind of like, I want to be like, Okay, we got land here, let's expand it. Let's do something different. He doesn't that sound familiar? Hashtag world War Yep. The Debion Pixies already had a steak in their land and they were not going.
To share hashtag pixelated.
They declared war on the Fae, which is kind of a gang sh I'm coming at you. They wing are their wings and like they can fly around, but they have guns.
Maybe, but you said they can knock people out magically, so that could be a whole different kind of warfare.
Do you smell cocaine?
Sure does.
So.
Unfortunately, the Debon Pixies already had a stick in the land and they're not going to share them, and they cleared war on the Fae and waste a bloody, violent battle in which the Pixies were victorious.
That's dope, Pixies. The Pixies won, those motherfuckers.
Pixies won the fairies.
So what if that happened, Does that mean the fairies are the bitcher? They just retreated on the land.
I think that there were so many Pixies at that Folkalore time. This is we're obviously.
Talking when they were all real, sorry fake anymore.
When they were real, they would have probably demped maybe in numbers. There are so many Pixies or like, bring them up from the underground listen barely The surviving fairies were booted out of Devon and sent back to where they came from is believed to this day the devon Devon pixies, only they're only there and no fairies are allowed within their borders. It's like it's Trump's trying to do to all immigrants. Yeah, don't come on our territory.
The term pixelated pixelated describes the hazy, magical effect pixels we have on humans. The feeling is described as intense intoxication.
Honestly, I fell intense intoxication before.
We do it every time in this podcast.
I do it six days plus the podcast a week.
We're here to sponsor belief, sponsor that we need. Billy is intoxicated at this moment. We need him to not drinks no human being. His hair is now the color of amber fire, and that's because of beer.
Beer.
Did this he put his hair inside Saints Vagina?
Nope, just drinking beer. Could you imagine that something fucked up your body so bad your hair color changed?
I thought you dumped your ship and bleach, Like when you say you breach. I literally thought you bleached your hair.
You know how bad that would hurt. Eminem did not dunk his hair in blie.
Fucking dude?
Did it?
Stay Stay was sposed to have bleached his hair in the nineties.
Yeah, you grabbed the actual bleach, but you put.
It in the little Even though I am a millennial.
Nobody dunked their head in toilets, tom No or bath tubs. That didn't happen.
No, I know I know someone specifically who actually did bleach their hair with bleach.
I understand. You take bleach, you put it in a container, and you slowly rub it on your hair. Nobody's nobody's dumping seventeen gallons of bleach in.
A battle, all right, So the feeling, that's crazy. So honestly, if a fairy is going to make me feel drunk without me paying for it, go ahead. I want to feel that feeling. They will make you.
Sure, well, what if they make you too drunk, like the time, like you drink that and you're like, but decision.
Yeah I know that was so bad. Yeah, I don't want to wear the poem where I'm throwing up. But the the victims of this uh so called drunken intoxication, the victim's behavior became became a erratic. They may see mentally unbalanced, as if they were drunk, but guess what they're not. But we are on this podcast now considering Pixies have been known to take human mates that are grown men and women and they they won it following
the pixies now concerned. Pixies have been known to take human mates and grown men and women to follow the call of the Pixies and vanish forever. It is safe to say that pixelation may be responsible for those whole those coupling of people disappearing in general might be with them. But pixie mythology transforms a bit of Christian presence moved
into Britain. These former pagan spirits we're talking about paganism a lot on this podcast was given a creepy origin as souls of children that were not baptized before they died. So what these stories may come from is trolton that may have not been baptized. So the Christians, the Christians, the fairies are taking them like in like, well they're
not baptized. These t come back with water guns. Yeah. So, and this spirits were would be transformed a little pixies after personal belongings replaced in clay funeral plots and they remain on earth causing mischief instead of going to heaven and that's where reacted on the Pixies and stuff and the fairies is that this may have been just a warning and like Celtic and cultural phenomenon is like if you don't do this right, and I feel like that's
what fairy tales are, is if you don't do something right, there's gonna be some sort of yeah, well you know what, I'm drunk.
It's time for.
It's fun factor the day.
Okay, guys, So like, there's only so much fun facts that you can come up with when that you know they're true. I do do my best to try to fact check it, but realistically, like if you're not actually in the field, there's a good chance that you just don't know. Ye So yeah, all back up a bit. So I did look this up and it looked to be real. But granted I don't work for the FDA. You want to hear something super fucking disgusting. Oh, by the way, two parter right after this one, I got
an awesome thing for you. Okay, This one, anyways, is the FDA allows. Granted I don't work for them, can't say it, but it seemed to be real. The FDA allows an average of one rodent hair per one hundred grams of peanut butter manufactured.
I love peanut butter.
So if you're like mixing in like a hundred grams is nothing, so you can get one jar. How much is the jar? What like five hundred, five hundred milligrams? I would think, sorry, five grams? Yeah, so you can get a jar with like ten thousands, so you're gonna have like one hundred fucking rodent hairs in there. Realistically you could. But anyways, again not fact checks, but you saying, well, let me say what's disgusting?
Disgusting? Yes, I got no, I got one more strange brewte So we need drunken topics.
And I always thought this was common knowledge, but this has been now six people I've shown this trick to that said I saved.
Their life and they never heard of it. So I feel like it's it needs to be common, do you know?
Do you I granted, once you get to that age, this doesn't happen as often because you know how much you can handle a drink. So young people, sometimes you get too drunk and you know that moment where you're spinning out and all you want to do is go to bed, but you can't help a feeling like you're gonna pukeh ma, do you know how to get rid of that? Instantly lie on your back and put one foot flat on the ground. Goes away, instantly gone, and you can go to bed. It's gone. You're sober like
when you when you do it. I've been doing it for years and I've shown so many other people when the're drunk and I'm like, just grab your foot and I'm like, put it on the ground. I've shown my girlfriend that I'm like, grab your foot, put it on the ground, and like every single person goes Holy ship, Like, I feel fucking great. It's amazing because I want you to do this for me. Centers your body and it's fucking fantastic. Everyone needs to know that.
Centers your equilibrium, that that's allowed your equilibrium to be like status and it makes.
You not spinny and makes you not want to sell your pure fucking rain. Review us, motherfuckers.
If you like this ship, I swear to God, I just gave you the most helpful tip in the world. If you don't read review us.
Through podcast at gmail dot com, that's.
Well, he's mad because it's run by crazy people. I want you to have these these crazy?
Is this force of crazy which is operating behind the scenes where no one season, anyone mentions that you, old man, they don't exist.
I'm an obsessed with mind. I'll mean my thoughts, questioning time, believe by.
Not like the rest of my kind.
I don't bear a cup. I've been the rest of your crime. I'm sure, dear drops, no exit up crimes. You're all insects cut in the web of lies.
Women in a thin dress, nobody heat dresses broad By, You're sent to guys were animals and invention. Why you think sexual tension is a high for us? Why we try a bunch of lies? Fuck that won't die for us? Will we die for them?
Either?
Lie by the lebia, things rise up like Eastern tries being by the bad guys again, I'll believe, I'll die.
You've reached our time.
I'm the mad scientist in the lab with the rhymes.
When here's the time again?
Now lets a go, now on that show, hold on, now be back for you as world least year black and I close my eyes and imagine you on a suicide. Now take it back at you. Why can't you'll look for the yatis.
You don't have that in you.
I look from a point of view that's different. I can destroy you with rap, rhythm, fucking boards and blue crackslinging all about emotion and want.
That's women, woman.
Nice are put my cock laughing as the trash women cross cooling looking tidy, red strom a block for in the fashion image.
I have all knowing, no fostor vision from God. You ass were getting it brought your bad decision.
Maybe you won't go to hell if you're changing act difference.
I'm pretty mad.
This isn't the place I thought I choose to come. A monster running from who will come?
Like my father?
Want nothing to do with my mom, But it's at home. You wonder why I let's to be alone. You're not smart enough to see what I know. So your soul the fucking dice. Slow now I elasic, go now, I that's you. Now hold on, I'm now getting back for you. That's well, they shall blackest. I close my eyes and imagine you want a suicide. Now take it back at you? Why can't you lose it? Yeah you're not mad at you? Well,
there's free Masons that will even Satan. They're Shuman taking the underground base is an atent.
Look around a we're facing.
As a human race show know what I do to escape this Illusionize pain as virtual reality once you think the purpose.
Working for a salary.
I'm researching the work God Baluster Crownley by saying, but how these saying this composition of power rape bises should ryan The prison hour rules a huge joke and they missed this through hope.
If you're children too, the.
Demons down below, do some research.
Now you know the worlds invested with evil and they were lying on the tellerchance on the people.
So we stay stay asleep. But this gravious demon is no God saving me.
Noah, Ell that's to go, No that should know? Hold on now being back for you, this world deaf show blackest. I close my eyes and imagine you want a suicide note. Take it back at you?
Why can't you lose it?
Yeah? It soon. I'm not mad at you.
These are the people I'm sending this money that doesn't exist in charge.
Is interesting on it world, but it is crazy, and then waste that for it and the.
World isn't crazy.
Dogcat