Authenticity is a huge buzzword in today’s workplace. Leaders are encouraged to be more authentic by being more vulnerable and transparent. Employees want to be able to bring their full true selves to work. But what does it really mean to be authentic? According to Webster's, Authenticity is about “being true to one’s own spirit or character.” But does that mean that we are the exact same person in every situation? How much authenticity is too much? What if being authentic feels risky? In this e...
Sep 21, 2022•36 min•Season 2Ep. 65
Let’s be honest—sometimes other people are just a pain in the a**. In this week’s show, Mary and Chris address a myriad of listeners’ challenges in navigating difficult colleagues and situations. Feeling Like a Highschooler in Scottsdale is being iced out by her colleagues. They treat her like an outcast. Is there any way she can turn this situation around? Should she tell her supervisor? Confront the mean girls? Or just call it a day? Happy to See You in Hoboken is trying to convince her collea...
Sep 14, 2022•35 min•Season 2Ep. 64
Tell Me More… Listeners write in to learn more about topics such as self-promotion, managing up, and the merits of a four-day work week. Bewildered in Boulder disagreed with our recommendation to include a professional headshot-type photo in one’s LinkedIn profile. She thinks that including a photo just opens one up to wants to bias and judgment. Mary and Chris stand by their recommendation—and more importantly, they explain their reasoning... Two Heads Are NOT Better than One in Omaha has two b...
Sep 07, 2022•31 min•Season 2Ep. 63
Setting Boundaries What does it mean to set boundaries in our professional and/or personal lives? Are boundaries rules for others or rules for you? How do you even begin to know what your boundaries are? In this spirited discussion, Chris and Mary help listeners learn how to determine and set boundaries. Even in difficult situations…. Making it Happen in Michigan is starting a new job—how does she begin to set boundaries with her new boss and team? Working for a Workaholic in Washington has a bo...
Aug 31, 2022•36 min•Season 2Ep. 62
The ability to engage in “healthy” conflict at work is essential for promoting and encouraging diverse viewpoints. But how much conflict is too much? And what if your team doesn’t ever disagree with each other? Is that just as bad? In this episode, Chris De Santis and Mary Abbajay tackle listeners' questions about how to disagree without being disagreeable… Put a Lid on It in New Hampshire has an employee who likes to argue about everything with everyone. His constant contentiousness and critici...
Aug 24, 2022•34 min•Season 2Ep. 61
Research repeatedly shows that having friends at work can boost employee engagement, productivity, and happiness. In a recent study, most people say having a best friend at work makes work more enjoyable. We see coworkers nearly every day, collaborate with them on important projects, maybe even share inside jokes about our boss—but do we consider these people friends? Should we? In this episode, Mary & Chris answer listeners’ questions about navigating workplace friendships. Alone But Not Lo...
Aug 17, 2022•34 min•Season 2Ep. 60
Are you using common words and phrases that are now considered socially inappropriate? Culturally appropriated or insensitive? Derogatory? Overly gendered? Non-inclusive? Or just annoying and overused? If so, you are not alone. In this episode, Mary and Chris explore words and phrases that are now deemed problematic. We’d love to tell you what they are, but we don’t want to get in trouble with the language police, so you’ll have to listen to learn what is acceptable and what isn’t in today’s enl...
Aug 10, 2022•33 min•Season 2Ep. 59
Advice is cheap. And sometimes bad. In this episode, Mary and Chris try to help listeners sort through good advice and bad advice. And one listener writes back to take us to task about our advice! Damned if You Do in Dubuque took advice from a mentor that backfired. The problem? The male advice giver didn’t consider how his advice to his female protege would play into a gender-biased workplace. While his advice may have worked well for a man, for a woman, not so much. Their Way or The Highwa y w...
Aug 03, 2022•37 min•Season 2Ep. 58
This week’s show is all about recognition, praise, and appreciation. Or rather, when recognition and praise go astray. Have you ever given a gift that was misinterpreted? Or have a piece of praise misfire? Tune in to learn strategies to align your recognition strategies to those being recognized! Yay For Me in Detroit wants to know if it is okay to nominate oneself for an award? Or should she just hope that someone else does it for her.... Treats Not the Trick in Topeka gave an employee a gift t...
Jul 27, 2022•32 min•Season 2Ep. 57
How honest are you? While you might like to think you’re an honest person, statistically speaking we are all liars. Researchers estimate the average person lies a minimum of once to twice per day. But when do those little “white lies” become problematic? In this week’s episode, Chris and Mary explore listeners’ concerns about lying, cheating, and stealing at work! Mum’s the Word in Maryland suspects that one of their employees is handing in fake expense receipts. The problem? The employee in que...
Jul 20, 2022•30 min•Season 2Ep. 56
While there may be nothing constant in this world, except change—it doesn’t mean that organizations are good at creating change. In fact, research shows that organizational leaders are getting worse at implanting successful change and not better. So where does that leave those of us who must navigate change and transition in the workplace? Flummoxed in Philadelphia is a new manager who has been tasked with “cleaning up” the culture of their department. Is it possible to change the culture? Is so...
Jul 13, 2022•33 min•Season 2Ep. 55
This episode marks the first anniversary of Cubicle Confidential! So, in honor of this celebratory “podiversay” event, Mary & Chris answer listeners’ questions about—you guessed it—partnerships! Am I Being Cheesy or Whiny in Washington wants to know if it is a good idea to open a wine and cheese shop with their best friend? Is this a good idea or recipe for disaster? Until D&I do We Part in Pittsburgh has learned that their consulting business partner is cheating on them. And by cheating...
Jul 06, 2022•34 min•Season 2Ep. 54
How susceptible are you to clickbait? Are you a sucker for catchy headlines? In this special episode, Chris DeSantis quizzes Mary on real and fake headlines. Tune in and play along! Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent... Thanks for listeni...
Jun 29, 2022•33 min•Season 2Ep. 53
How important is the opinion of others? Do you care what other people think of you at work? Should you? What is the balance between caring and not caring? In this episode, Mary and Chris take a deep dive with listeners who are struggling with what others think of them… Baby Faced in Baltimore is a seasoned professional who looks way younger than they are and thus people don’t give her the respect she is due. People assume she is too young to know what she is doing. It’s a nice problem to have, b...
Jun 22, 2022•34 min•Season 2Ep. 52
Have you ever left a job for a shiny new one, only to discover, that--oops--it was a bad fit? Have you ever been tempted to double-dip on jobs? Or have you ever hired someone and uh-oh it may have been a mistake? If so, this episode tackles these pesky job-hopping dilemmas! Miss Match in Michigan is concerned that a new hire doesn’t have what it takes to succeed in their role. So, Miss Match wonders if they should continue to give this person a shot, or just call it a day. Our question to Miss M...
Jun 15, 2022•32 min•Season 2Ep. 51
Ghosts, Wimps, and Implusives, oh my! Have you ever dealt with a boss or colleague who ghosts you? Or a boss who is so wishy-washy that you want to pull your hair out? Or how about the boss or co-worker who is always changing their minds or chasing shiny objects? If so, this episode was made for you. Chris and Mary hear from listeners who need their help dealing with these difficult dynamics. Ghosted in Galveston is frustrated by her ghost boss. He’s never around when she needs him, and it is be...
Jun 08, 2022•30 min•Season 2Ep. 50
Despite tremendous gains made by women in the workforce, women still face many structural and personal barriers to success—especially in leadership roles. In this episode, Mary and Chris hear from several female listeners who are struggling with gender and leadership issues and expectations. Raising the Roof in Tulsa is up for promotion to District Manager. She is also the only woman at the management level. Even though her district outperforms her peers, her boss told her she needs to make a mo...
Jun 01, 2022•35 min•Season 2Ep. 49
Let’s be honest. The workplace can be very ageist. Very ageist. Being seen as “too young” or “too old” can stymie your career. How do you manage perceptions that you are “over” qualified or that you don’t have enough experience based on your age? In this episode, Mary and Chris provide advice to listeners who are dealing with ageist perceptions and perspectives. Gambling with My Future in Vegas keeps being told that they are “overqualified” for jobs. How do they neutralize this perception? Big i...
May 25, 2022•33 min•Season 2Ep. 48
After two years of wearing our dress shirts with pajama bottoms, it’s time to dress up for work again. Which for many of us, means the reappearance of the fashion crisis. Just exactly what does “business casual” really mean? And can I still wear my yoga pants to work? In this week’s show, Chris De Santis and Mary Abbajay help listeners navigate the new rules of office dress-up. Hint: the days of mullet dressing are over… Dapper in Delaware wonders if he is just a bit too well dressed for the off...
May 18, 2022•33 min•Season 2Ep. 47
Does anyone enjoy having to give or receive difficult or “constructive” feedback? Hearing that you are not hitting the mark is never fun. Nor is it enjoyable to be the person who must burst the bubble. Yet, without feedback, it’s hard to know how to adjust one’s performance and behavior. This week’s episode addresses listeners' challenges with giving or receiving feedback. Not Dressed for Success in Sausalito wants to know how to tell their employees that their professional attire is, well, not ...
May 11, 2022•32 min•Season 2Ep. 46
Apparently, not everyone is excited to return to the physical office. This week’s episode hears from listeners who are less than thrilled at the prospect of going back to the office. The Party’s Over in Pensacola does NOT want to go back to the physical office. In fact, they dread it. How can they convince their employer to let them stay remote? Boston Yank in Spanx gained a lot of weight during the pandemic, and now he fears being the subject of ridicule and mockery when he returns. How can he ...
May 04, 2022•29 min•Season 2Ep. 45
Do generational differences at work have you perplexed? Annoyed? Confused? Do you look at other generations at work and think to yourself WTF? Well, Chris De Santis is here to help! In honor of his newly published book Why I Find You Irritating: Navigating Generational Friction at Work , Chris and Mary answer questions from multiple generations about how to deal with each other. Ants in My Pants in Ann Arbor wants to turn down a promotion in order to travel the world. After 4 years in the workfo...
Apr 27, 2022•33 min•Season 2Ep. 44
How important is having a personal brand for career success? What’s the difference between your brand and your reputation? How do you know if your brand is working for you? What letter comes after X in the alphabet? Chris and Mary lay out the do’s and don’ts of creating an effective personal brand to ensure a positive reputation. Young and Virtual in Vermont wonders how to build a personal brand in an entry-level position? Building My Brand in Buffalo is concerned that a polished and professiona...
Apr 20, 2022•34 min•Season 2Ep. 43
In this special episode, Chris and Mary share listeners’ thoughts and LinkedIn poll results on various workplace and career topics. Check out this episode to learn you and other listeners think about Pay Transparency, Introversion and Extroversion, Family Leave, Big Ideas, Workplace Appreciation, Micromanagers, and other topics! Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Ema...
Apr 13, 2022•32 min•Season 2Ep. 42
When it comes to favors, are you a giver or a taker? Do you make it easy for people to say yes to favors? Do you reciprocate? Are you tired of people asking you for favors? If so, this episode is for you. Chris and Mary give out some tough love on the art of asking for and receiving favors. Don’t break your favor bank! Unimpressed with the Unprepared in L.A. has a big problem with people asking to meet with him to “pick his brain” and then these people show up late and unprepared for the meeting...
Apr 06, 2022•31 min•Season 2Ep. 41
How do you annoy me? Let me count the ways! In this episode, Mary and Chris address listeners’ complaints about their annoying co-workers. When dealing with bothersome behaviors in others, should we speak up, shut up, or suck it up? Pompous Panelist in Pasadena wants to know how to deal with a fellow panelist who is obnoxious, pompous, and overly self-promoting. Should they say something? How can they hold their own with an air hog? Should I Say Something in St. Louis can’t help but notice that ...
Mar 30, 2022•32 min•Season 2Ep. 40
Have you ever lost your mojo? Has two years of remote work left you feeling unmotivated and unconnected? Are you trying to get back in the groove? If so, you are not alone! This week’s episode answers listeners’ questions about how to get and stay motivated. In other words, how to get your groove back. Rudderless in Raleigh has lost her mojo. Is it her? Is it her Job? Or is it just this &#$#@ never-ending pandemic? Just Plain Stumped in Jackson manages a remote team that seems to be out of j...
Mar 23, 2022•34 min•Season 2Ep. 39
Workplace friendships are the topic of this week’s show. The workplace is a social system--but does that mean that we HAVE to be friends with the people we work with? How much friendship is too much friendship? How much friendliness is too little? Is it okay to be best friends with your boss? Mary and Chris help both the friendless and overly friendly navigate this tricky landscape. Friendless and Fabulous in Fremont doesn’t want to be friends with their co-workers. Is it wrong to not pursue wor...
Mar 16, 2022•34 min•Season 2Ep. 38
Are you an idea person or are you an idea implementer? How can you get others to buy into your ideas? In this episode, Mary and Chris offer strategies to get your great ideas heard and implemented! Bewitched in Boulder loves (his) big ideas. The problem? He doesn’t like to implement them. Is there a way that he can job craft himself out of implementation? Workplace Newbie in Wisconsin can’t get her “older” managers to buy into her new work ideas. How can she get her ideas “heard” by senior folks...
Mar 09, 2022•31 min•Season 2Ep. 37
In this episode, Mary and Chris help introverts and extroverts cross the great divide of communication and collaboration. Talk to Me in Tallahassee is frustrated by their introverted colleague--who just doesn’t seem to communicate enough. Need My Space in Needham dreads having to return to the physical workplace because of the dreaded “open space” office plan. Introverted in Indiana has been told that they must “get over” their introversion to be a good boss. WTF??? Show us your love! Please giv...
Mar 02, 2022•34 min•Season 2Ep. 36
