01 – Part 1 Chapter 1

crime and punishment part one chapter one this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit liberworks on an exceptionally hot evening early in july a young man came out of the garret in which he lodged in s place and walked slowly as though in hesitation towards keybridge he had successfully avoided meeting his landlady on the staircase his garret was under the roof of a high five-story house and was more

and was more like a cupboard than a room. the landlady who provided him with garret dinners and attendants lived on the floor below and every time he went out he was obliged to pass her kitchen the door which invariably stood open and each time he passed the young man had a sick

frightened feeling which made him scowl and feel ashamed he was hopelessly in debt to his landlady and was afraid of meeting her this was not because he was cowardly and abject quite the contrary but for some time past he had been in overstrained irritable condition verging on hypochondria, he had become so completely absorbed in himself.

and isolated from his fellows that he dreaded meeting not only his landlady but any one at all he was crushed by poverty but the anxieties of his position had of late ceased to wait upon him he had given up attending to matters of practical importance he had lost all desire to do so nothing that any landlady could do had a real terror for him but to be stopped on the stairs to be forced to listen to her trivial irrelevant gossip

to pestering demands for payment threats and complaints and to rack his brains through excuses to to lie and know rather than that he would creep down the stairs like a cat and slip out unseen this evening however

on coming out into the street he became acutely aware of his fears i won't attempt to think like that and i'm frightened by these trifles he thought with an old smile yes all is in a man's hands and he lets it all slip from cowardice that's an axiom it would be interesting to know what it is men are most afraid of taking a new step uttering a new word is what they fear most but i'm talking too much it's because i'm chatter that i do nothing or perhaps it is that

but i chatter because i do nothing i learned to chatter this last month lying four days together in my damned thinking of the jack the giant killer why am i going there now am i capable of that is that serious it is not serious at all it's simply a fantasy to amuse myself a plaything yes maybe it is a plaything the heat in the street was terrible and there airlessness the bustle and the plaster scaffolding bricks and dust all about him and that special petersburg

so familiar to all who are unable to get out of town in summer all worked painfully upon the young man's already over rough nerves the insufferable stent from the pot-houses which are particularly numerous in that part of the town and the drunken man whom he met continually although it was a working day completely vervelting misery of the picture an expression of the profoundest disgust gleaned for a moment in a young man's refined face he was by the way exceptionally handsome

above the average in height slim well-built with beautiful dark eyes and dark brown hair soon he sank into the deep thought or more accurately speaking into a complete blackness of mind he walked along not observing what was about him

and not carrying to observe it from time to time he would mutter something from the habit of talking to himself to which he had just confessed at these moments he would become conscious that his ideas were sometimes in a tangle that he was very weak for two days he had scarcely tasted food

he was so badly dressed that even a man accustomed to the tabernacle would have been ashamed to be seen in the street in such rags in that quarter of the town however scarcely a shortcoming address would have created surprise owing to the proximity of the hay market the number of establishments

of bad character the preponderance of the trading and working-class population crowded in these streets and alleys in the heart of petersburg types of various were it to be seen in the streets that no figure however queer would have caused surprise but there was such an accumulated bitterness and contempt in the young man's heart that in spite of all the fastidiousness of youth he minded his rags least of all in the street it was a different matter when he met the acquaintances or

with a former fellow-student whom indeed he disliked meeting at any time and yet when a drunken man who for some unknown reason was being taken somewhere in a huge wagon dragged by a heavy dray horse suddenly shouted at him as he drove past i were german hatter

bowing at the top of his voice and pointing at him the young man stopped suddenly and clashed tremulously at his hat it was a tall round hat from the zimmermans but completely worn out rusty with age all torn and bespattered brimless and bent on one side

a most unseemly fashion not shame however but quite another feeling akin to terror had overtaken him i knew it he murmured in confusion i've thought so that's the worst of all why a stupid thing like this the most trivial detail miles pole the whole plan yes my head is still noticeable it looks absurd that makes it noticeable with my rags i ought to wear a cap and a sort of old pancake but not this grotesque thing nobody views such a thread it would be noticed a mile off it would be remembered

what matters is that people would remember it and that would give them a clue for this business one should be as little conspicuous as possible trifles trifles are what matter why it's just such trifles but always ruin everything

he had not far to go he knew indeed how many steps it was from the gate of his lodging house exactly seven hundred and thirty he had counted them once when he had been lost in dreams at the time he had put no faith in those dreams and was only tantalizing himself by their hideous but daring recklessness now a month later he had begun to look upon them differently and in spite of the monologues in which he did as his own

impotence and indecision he had involuntarily come to regard his hideous dream as an exploit to be attempted although he still did not realize himself he was positively going now for a rehearsal of his project and at every step his excitement grew more and more violent

with a sinking heart and a nervous tremor he went up to a huge house which on one side looked on to the canal and on the other into the street this house was lit out into tiny tenements and was inhabited by working people of all kinds tailors locksmiths cooks germans of sorts girls picking up the living as best they could pediclocks etc there was a continual coming and going to the two gates and in the two courtyards of the house three or four door-keepers were employed on the building

the young man was very glad to meet none of them and at once slipped and noticed to the door on the right and up the staircase it was a back staircase Back.

and dark and narrow but he was familiar with it already and knew his way and he liked all the surroundings in such darkness even the most inquisitive of ice will not be dreaded if i am so scared now what would it be if it somehow came to pass what i were really going to do i could not help asking himself as he reached the fourth story there this progress was bear'd by some porters who were engaged in moving furniture out of the flat he knew that the flat had been occupied by a german clerk

in the civil service and his family this german was moving often until the fourth floor on the staircase would be antennated except by the old woman that's a good thing anyway he fought to himself as he rang the bell of the old woman's flat the bell gave a faint tinkle

as though it were made of tin and of copper the little fleas in such houses always have bells that drink like that he had forgotten the note of that bell and now its peculiar tinkle seemed to remind him of something and to bring it clearly before him he started he's not quite terribly overstrained by now in a little while the door was opened a tiny crack the old woman eyed her visitor of evident distrust to the crack and nothing could be seen but her little eyes glittering in the darkness

but seeing a number of people on the landing she grew bolder and opened the door wide the young man stepped into the dark entry which was partitioned off from the tiny kitchen the old woman stood facing him in silence and looking inquiringly at him she was a diminutive withered up old woman of sixty with sharp malignant eyes and a sharp little nose her colourless somewhat grizzled hair was thickly smeared with oil and she wore no caship over it round her thin long neck

which looked like the hen's leg was knotted some sort of a flannel rag and in spite of the heat there hung flapping on her shoulders a mangy yellow with age the old woman coughed and groaned at every instant the young man must have to look at her with a rather peculiar expression for the gleam of mistrust came into her eyes again as colleague of a student i came here a month ago the young mad made haste to murder

the old woman coughed and groaned at every instant the young man must help to look at her with a rather peculiar expression for a gleam of nostrils came into her eyes again raskarnikov a student i came here a month ago the young mad made a haste to murder with a half-bowl remembering that he ought to be more polite i remember my good sir i remember quite well your coming here the old woman said distinctly still keeping her inquiring eyes on his face

i'm again on the same errand raskolnikov continued a little disconcerned and surprised at the old woman's mistrust perhaps she is always like that though only i did not notice it the other time he thought of an easy feeling the old woman paused as though hesitating then stepped on one side and pointing to the door of the room she said letting her visitor pass in front of her step in my good sir the little room into which the young man worked the yellow paper on the walls

geraniums and muslin curtains in the windows was brightly lighted up at the moment above a setting sun so the sun will shine like this too flashed as it were by chance to laskolnikov's mind and at a rapid glance he scanned everything in the room

trying as far as possible to notice and remember its arrangement but there was nothing special in the room the furniture all very old and of yellow wood consisted of a sofa with a huge bent wooden bag and an oval table and in front the sofa a dressing table

with the looking-glass fixed on it between the windows chairs along the walls and two or three half-penny prints in yellow frames representing german themselves the birds in their hands that was all in the corner a light was burning before a small icon everything was very

clean the floor and the furniture were brightly polished everything shone lisaveta spoke through the young man there was not a speck of dust to be seen in the whole flat it's in the house are spiteful old windows that one finds such cleanliness raskolnik thought again and he still a curious glance at the cotton curtain over the door leading into the another tiny room in which stood the old woman's bed and chest of drawers and into which

never looked before. These two rooms made up the whole flat. what do you want the old woman said severely coming into the room and as before standing in front of him so as to look him straight in the face i brought something to pawn here and he drew out of his pocket an old-fashioned flat silver watch on the back of which was engraved a globe the chain was of steel

but the time is up for your last pledge the month was up the day before yesterday i'll bring you the interest for another month wait a little but that's for me to do as i please my good sir to wait or to sell your pledge at once how much will you give me for the watch

alana ivanovna you come with such trifles my good sir it's scarcely worth anything i gave you two roubles last time for your ring and one could buy it quite a new at the jewelers for a ruble and a half give me four rubles for it i shall redeem it it was my father's

i shall be getting some money soon a rouble and a half in interest in advance if you like a rouble and a half cried the young man please yourself and the old woman handed him back the watch the young man took it and was so angry that he was on the point of going away but checked himself at once

remembering that there was nowhere else he could go and that he had another object also in coming hand it over he said roughly the old woman fumbled in her pocket for her keys and disappeared behind the curtain into the other room

the young man left standing alone in the middle of the room listened inquisitively thinking he could hear how unlocking the chest of drawers it must be the top drawer he reflected so he carries the keys in a pocket on the right all one binds on a steel ring and there is no key there

three times as big as all the others with deep notches that can't be the key of the chest of drawers then there must be some other chest or strong box that's worth knowing strong boxes always have keys like that but how degrading it all is the old woman came back

here sir as we say ten kopeks the ruble a month so i must take fifteen kopeks from the ruble and a half for the month in advance but for the two roubles i lent you before you own me now twenty kopeks on the same reckoning in advance that makes thirty-five kopeks altogether I must give you a ruble and fifteen copics for the watch. He tells what? Only a ruble and fifteen copics now? Just so.

the young man did not dispute it and took the money he looked at the old woman and was in no hurry to get away as though there was still something he wanted to say or to do but he did not himself quite know what i may bring you something else in a day or two alia navarovna a valuable thing silver a cigarette-box as soon as i get it back from a friend he broke off in confusion well we will talk about it then sir good-bye are you always at home alone your sister is not here with you

he asked her as casually as possible as he went out in the passage what business is she of yours good sir oh no particular i simply ask you are too quick as karnikov went out in the complete confusion this confusion became more and more intense

as he went down the stairs he went stepped short two or three times as though silently struck by some foot when he was in the street he cried out oh god how loathsome it all is and can i can i possibly no it's nonsense it's rubbish he uttered resolutely and how could such an atrocious thing come into my head what filthy things my heart is capable of yes filthy above all disgusting loathsome loathsome and for all the whole month i've been but no words no exclamations could express his agitation

the feeling of intense repulsion which had begun to apprise him and torture his heart while he was on his way to the old woman had by now reached such a page and had taken such a definite form that he did not know what to do with himself to escape from his wretchedness

he walked along the pavement like a drunken man regardless of the passers-by and jostling against them and only came to his senses when he was in the next street looking round he noticed that he was standing close to a tavern which was entered by steps leading from the pavement to the basement

at that instant two drunken men came out the door and abusing and supporting one another they mounted the steps without stopping to think raskarnikov went down the steps at once till that moment he had never been into the tavern but now he felt giddy and was tormented by a burning thirst

he longed for a drink of cold beer and attributed his sudden weakness to the want of food he sat down at a sticky little table in a dark and dirty corner ordered some beer and eagerly drunk off the first glassful at once he felt easier and his foods became clear

all that's nonsense he said hopefully and there is nothing in it all to worry about it's simply physical derangement just a glass of beer a piece of dry bread and in one moment the brain is stronger the mind is clearer and the will is firm

how utterly it all is but in spite of this scornful reflection he was by now looking cheerful as though he were suddenly set free from a terrible burden and he gazed round in a friendly way at the people in the room but even at that moment he had a dim foreboding

that his happier frame of mind was also not normal there were people at the time in the tavern besides the two drunken men he had met in the steps a group consisting of about five men and a girl the third concertina had gone out at the same time

their departure left the room quiet and rather empty the persons still in the tavern were a man who appeared to be an artisan drunk but not extremely so sitting before a pot of beer and his companion a huge stout man with a great bird and a short full-skirted coat he was very drunk

and had dropped to sleep on the bench every now and then he began as though in his sleep cracking his fingers with his arms wide apart and with the upper part of his body balding about on the bench while he hummed some meaningless refrain trying to recall some such lines as these his wife a year he fondly loved his wife a year he fondly loved suddenly waking up again walking alone to a crowded row he met the one he used to know but no one shared his indictment

his silent companion looked to his positive hostility and mistrust are all these manifestations there was another man in the room who looked somewhat like a retired government clerk he was sitting apart now and then sipping from his pot and looking round at the company he too appeared to be in some agitation the end of part one chapter one