Turkey Talk

of turkeys in your home. We're gonna talk turkey facts, turkey romance, turkey history, and alternative turkeys. To discover this and more as we answer the age old question, is that a snoot on your forehead? Horror? You just have you to see me. Joining me today is comedian and creator of the Audible original Like Mother, Alison Stevenson. Welcome. Hi. I am excited to have you. I've been following you on Twitter for a while and you were very funny and this is a dream come true. I appreciate that.

Thank you. So we are talking about turkeys today. What's your relationship with turkeys? You know, not a strong one, I'll admit, I never really had like a lot of I think, I mean, it's kind of sad, but I think everybody's biggest relationship with turkey is Thanksgiving, and I never had that many like traditional Thanksgivings growing up. My mom's very Jewish, and like she always associated Thanksgiving to

be like a Christian holiday. She didn't really view it as like non denominational, so she'd always be like, why would we do that. We're Jewish, Like that's just not we don't do Thanksgiving. And so that was kind of like the turkey thing, and I didn't really have a lot of turkey in my life. I guess as a meat as as I would say as a food. I don't want to be too controversial here, but I don't think it's like the best meat, to be honest, So I would agree with that it's really hard to make

without turning it into chalk. I think it is an interesting thing because we have this relationship with turkeys, which is there the food animal or sometimes we make pictures of them using our hand and trace our hand and it's like that's a turkey. But turkeys have a whole other life to them that I think is important to know.

And especially if like we're going to eat them. I think I think it's like, you know, it's important to know the animal that we that we use, and like how important they are and some of the dangers that they've faced, and what their lives are. Like, how can we have something that we glibally called Turkey Day without really getting to know the turkey as individual. So I'm going to this whole episode We're gonna talk about turkeys.

Part one. We're talking about turkey facts, just straight up turkey facts about traditional turkeys that we know and love. The wild turkeys of America, which I say America not because I'm like USA focus, because it is actually from

the entire continent of America. Wild turkeys evolved over eleven million years ago, and the first evidence of domestication was around two thousand years ago in Central America, which you know, so these these birds have been around a lot longer than dumb columnists decided to, like, Hey, let's just do a holiday where we put our hands on a piece

of paper and trace it on construction paper. Right. I wonder what a turkey would think looking at a hand drawing of the turkey, what their take would be on that representation of themselves. I mean, if cartoons are anything to go buy, all you need is a little like a bow and some long eyelashes, and the male turkeys are going to be sexually attracted to it, no matter like how shoddily created it is. Uh So. The Latin name of the turkey is gallopavo, which means chicken peacock. Oh,

which look, I think it works. Yeah, yeah, all right, If you're not convinced, I think we should look at another species of turkey, one that's less less known, which is called the oscillated turkey. Now, Alison, I have shared with you an image of this turkey. This is a turkey that is beautiful, bright vivid colors like iridescent green

and powder blue, kind of like peacock colors. It's got this bright blue head and bright red rings around its eyes and these bright orange what are they look like warts? They're actually called car uncles. It's like chicken pox chic. Yeah. Yeah, they do kind of look like ornamentation because they are They're meant to be attractive. So car uncles are fleshy, warty growths that you'll find on turkeys. And for the

oscillated turkey. These bright orange warts on the male's heads are sexually attractive to the females, and the brighter they are, uh, demonstrates their physical health to the females. I wish this is how it was for people, because my acne would be super hot, you know that, I I do. I genuinely wish that we could get past this idea that like, oh acne is like, you know, is an attractive is normal?

Everyone gets a totally normal yeah. Yeah, And like I'm looking at this turkey with these big, bright orange bumps all over its face, and I think it's cool. I think it's a good look. It is, honestly, Yeah, I mean some some are a little nicer than others, I'll admit, right, you have you can have your taste in like turkeys, like in which ones you find more attractive, in which

turkey are more sexually attracted to. Yeah, but even are what most people know to be the turkey, So not just the oscillated turkey, but the wild turkey found in the US and North America. It also has cour uncles, so it has, you know, all those bumps all over his face, which are also sexually attractive to the females. Also a feature of the turkey is the snood. Guess what part of the turkey is the snood? Uh? Is it that neck thing? E cloe close? The next thing

is the wattle. So the snood is that like a big dangly, foulat like thing that hangs off of its beak. You know, you know what I'm talking about. Mm hmmm, let me add it. Let me add an actually, let me add an actual turkey picture or a North American turkey picture. Can I Can I get one Hiras turkey snood? Please? Just like one if I had a nickel. Yeah, every time I feeing Hiras turkey snood. All right, that was an adventure, but I found you the most attractive turkey.

Whoa yeah goodness. So the snood is that flap of skin coming. It looks like it's coming from between its eyes and down its beak, and it's just this long, pendulous sort of alice of skin and it is You were not joking when you said fallus. It looks it looks like this turkey's beak is not circumcised. Well, I mean, the comparison does not stop there, because these snoods can actually become erect so when they know when they are sexually excited, it will fill with blood, turn brighter red,

and become engorged. So you know, a little bit of a face wiener. Oh my god. So if you call him a dickhead, it's actually a compliment. Yes, that's perfect exactly. So the longer the snood, the healthier the male in general, which is, you know, I mean what I like to think as well. Yeah, sure, I'm sorry man, but if you don't got a snood, uh you snoo? Do you lose no snood, no mood. So in addition to the

snoode to attract females is the wattle. So the wattle is that gathering of bare flesh at the turkey's neck, that just brilliant red globular beard of wrinkled flesh. And the lady turkeys love it. It's just so attractive to them. You see a guy with a good beard, it's like, hey, that's nice. I like that beard. It's nice beard. But just imagine that but smell it out of flesh. It's like if a beard and a ball sack were became one. It's a bits, it's a bit scrotal, it is a

bit scrotal. I will admit that it's typically bright red and scarlet. Uh, and it gets brighter and redder when the males are trying to attract a mate, So that's cool. Wattles also have over just sort of their sexual function. They also helped cool the birds down by creating some bear skin surface area where heat can dissipate. So you know, just kind of like I just got to air out your wattle to stay cool in the heat. I know,

I do that. Yeah, Yeah, I can do. I can get a wattle sometimes if I just gotta just like if you hold your neck back, yeah, you know, like there's that little thing my chin is just like a little too relaxed, my wattle, my bottles showing. Yeah. And here's another cool turkey fact. If you thought you could escape the podcast without learning about turkey poop, you were wrong. So turkey poops come in hymns and hers, So female turkey poops come in curly spiral shapes. Male poops come

in long strands or fish hook shapes. So so male and female turkeys are pretty sexually dimorphic, like female turkeys are brown or they don't have all these like weird erectile snoods and and super red and gorged wattles. But so you can like tell them apart. But if you really want to tell the birds apart just by their poop alone, you can't. Congratulations you find you find curly poops, it's a female. You find long poops, it's a male. I mean, maybe you're about to go into it. But

why how is it? What? How does that? Why? Well, it is due to the shape of the cloaca. So birds, they got cloaca. It's the whole that does it all. So both males and females have a cloaca that they use for sex, peeping and pooping. Female turkeys lay eggs, so their cloaca is stretchier and when they poop it a lot because their cloaca kind of stretches out. It allows the poop to clump into little spirals, whereas males have narrower, less stretchy cloacas because they do not lay eggs.

And also their penis takes up a good amount of space when she's in the cloaca, because like you know, male birds, they do have penises, but they're like tucked in the cloaca unless they're having sex. So yeah, so like because there there's basically max capacity in the cloaca, and so when you have only when you have one hole that does it all, it is efficient, but storage can be an issue, right, So basically their poop comes out a lot narrower and straighter because it's being squeezed

out of a tighter cranny. I'm so glad I know this really very welcome. Welcome to the show, Elise. In your first creature feature, yeah, no, was a wonderful way to bed. Yes, yeah, it's a cloaca. A cloaca all birds got them. It's the it's the magical hole that does it all. I love. It's like a sales pitch. It's yeah, and it's like it's not just birds, it's reptiles. So yeah, it's uh, you know, we are actually mammals are kind of weird for having more than one hole,

if you think about it. I've always thought that, yeah, all right, though we got too many, too many got a consolidate. A myth about turkeys is that they are flightless birds because they look like they shouldn't fly. Right there, these big chunky things with like weird snoods and wattles just going around. But they can actually fly, so and they can also run and swim, so these are like bird athletes. Yes, so they can fly up to fifty aisles per hour, which is about eighty kilometers per hour.

They only fly for short distances. They don't do long distance flying that much, but they can. They can fly like a little while. Yeah, like for a few minutes. That's pretty fast. Yeah. Yeah. They can also run up to twelve miles per hour, which is about nineteen kilometers per hour, which I think is probably more than me, which is bad news if I'm faced with a turkey, Um, if you have to race one, right or escape one.

And you're also not going to be safe if you try to escape a turkey by diving into a lake, because turkeys can swim by folding their wings and kicking their back legs. So like I never knew that. I always thought of them as pretty defenseless animals, right, Oh no, no, they We're going to talk about it later, but they

are certainly not defenseless. Uh. In fact, yeah, it's some people share areas with wild turkeys probably know how aggressive they can be and frankly kind of scary because you know, like you think about when you have a whole turkey, right, like the big, big Thanksgiving turkey. I mean that usually comes from a pretty young turkey and it's huge. Like now, imagine that covered in feathers, with the head and legs attached with a wattle and a wattle and just like

quivering with anger. So before we go to break, I do want to play some turkey sounds, because of course we know the classic turkey gobble, which I wish I could do a good turkey gobble. Unfortunately, I'm actually really bad at doing bird sounds. I know, it's like in congruent with my brand is like a bird lover, but I just can't. I'm I can't do human accents and I can't do bird sounds. That it it's uh, it's really cramping my style, both as a comedian and as

a bird lover. So it's like, oh, you're a bird lover who's a comedian, but you can't do accents and you can't do bird sounds. Well, all right, but here's I think this is their classic sound, classic turkey gobble, but they also do other sounds. They do purrs, they do klucks. Here's a sound. I think this one's a pearl and to make sure they're angry little kittens. That does seem like a hard in your defense, it's a

difficult sound to imitate. Yeah, like the throat work involved. Yeah, I don't have a wattle and I don't have a snood. And then this is another call. It's I think we're starting to get into like Jurassic Park noises and it rhins you like, yeah, these are dinosaurs. They're literally I mean birds are literally dinosaurs. We know the whole turkey

like gobble noise. But then once they start making these chirps and weird sort of dinosaur like noises like oh yeah, yeah, yeah, they're dinosaurs that we just pretend that are never going to rise against us. And here's an alarm call. A little underwhelming. I have to say. It's like when I thought of a turkey alarm call, I'd think like basically

a car alarm screaming at me. Very subdued. But yeah, it's just sort of like a yeah, before we go to break, I'm gonna try to do a turkey lovel But then you also have to try to do one too. That is that fair? I'll you know, I'll give it a shot. Yeah, Okay, I mean no judgment, like, I'm not mine is not gonna be that great either. So I'm gonna try to create a wattle for myself and like grab my throat skin. Okay, okay, I'm gonna steal your method. Okay, step a shot. What like you? That

was good? Guys, I feel like that's better than mine. Let me let me try mine again. No, no, no no, no, little yeah, yeah, getting the If I get the tongue action in there with it, it starts to sound a little better, like, oh oh that was good. Yeah, that's pretty good. I feel like we're gonna start attracting turkeys to us. My window just forced turkey to show up. You look out correct, onto a horny turkeys. I mean, at this point, I've been pretty sure I've had no

action for eight months. They say we have to be isolated from other humans, not from turkey. The dating tip from Creature feature. Needless to say, our relationship to turkeys has been complicated. We love turkeys, we love to eat them, and we nearly drove them to extinction in North America. It wasn't until the nineteenth century, however, that they became

associated with the holidays. Before then, pork was a more popular holiday food as it was a more rare source of meat, whereas turkey were eaten year round too great consequences, as we will soon discuss. Allison, have you heard that story about how Benjamin Franklin wanted the official United States bird to be a turkey? I don't think I have. So there is this story that, well, like I said, Benjamin Franklin wanted the official USA bird to be the

turkey instead of the bald eagle. And it is the ideas taken from this quote from Benjamin Franklin himself, where he says, for my own part, I wish the bald eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country. He is a bird of bad moral character. He does not get his living honestly, for in truth, the turkey is, in comparison, a much more respectable bird and with all, a true original native of America. So um, I think, like I read this thing about like how true was it?

Like was he really a champion of the turkey to be the symbol of America? And it's unclear. I think like he did genuinely dig the turkey as a symbol. I don't think he was he didn't run like a super hard campaign against the bald eagle as the symbol.

But really what the actual story is actually really interesting because the reason he lashed out at the eagle was the bald eagle was being used symbolically amongst these like nouveaux aristocrats in early America that Benjamin Franklin really disliked strongly.

So the Society of Cincinnati, a group of officers serving under George Washington in seventeen eighty three, wanted to establish a nepotistic hereditary order of merit passed patrilineally from oldest son to oldest son, and they wanted the eagle to serve as their symbol. And Benjamin Franklin scoffed at them for being an aristocratic institution and for like to symbolism, and like he really bristled at all that, and great, so we never did it again. Oh man, this is

making me right. I mean, to be fair, I think bald eagles are super cool. There's a lot of gender parody. Like they when they're selecting a mate, they both compete for each other, and then they as they're flying in the air once they've found a mate, they think they like they lock claws together and go into a death spiral towards the ground to make sure that each one of them is like metal enough to truly be their partner. And then they are monogamous. So it's like it's really cute.

So it's nothing like being a woman dating in her twice. The turkeys whole system is a little different from the bald eagle. Like, I am going to talk about turkey romance, so do not worry. I know everyone's like holding her breath, like, please please talk about the sex lives of turkeys. If you do not, I will never listen to your podcast again. Um, but no, we will talk about the sex lives of turkeys,

So please do not leave me an angry review. But yeah, so I think it is interesting that Benjamin Franklin was like, we should have the turkey? Is this down to earth symbol? Like he was kind of worried about the symbol of the eagle being used to like pump up the the egos of nepotistic sort of aristocratic institution. I think he was right, yeah, but of course we don't have that problem in America, do we. First it's like wait a minute,

it's like everything's coming together. All the woods are connecting, like, oh my, this is how Trump happened. Oh yeah, yeah yeah because of the eagle. I do wonder like if the psychology of America would have been different had the turkey been our national symbol right like like could have been. Would we have started so many wars if we are national symbol? Was the humble turkey? I never thought so.

I honestly don't think so. I don't know. I think it would have kind of been like a little more humble and a little more like, hey, you know what, we don't have to be badass. Having warts on her face is fine, like, you know, just like a little more chill. We would be a much better society, I think. I think so giving. I think so Thanksgiving every day. We would decimate the turkey population. Actually we almost did,

which we'll talk about right now. Actually perfect wild turkeys in the US were almost hunted to extinction at one point. Another thing I think people are not aware of. They had been driven to extirpation, which is like a local extinction. So when an animal is driven out of an area and no longer found there, but it still exists in

other locations Like that, is called extirpation. So this happened in Connecticut and Vermont in the early eighteen hundreds, and by the nineteen thirties they were extirpated in eighteen states and their population was down to two percent of its original size, from ten million wild turkeys to only two

hundred thousand. Due to hunting regulations starting in the nineteen forties to fifties and conservation efforts where conservationists would release wild birds into areas that they had been driven out of. Their population is starting to recover and actually has partially recovered. Now there are about six million wild turkeys in the US,

so that's a bit of a conservation success story. I mean it's far like we still haven't reached ten million turkeys for the turkey reckoning to happen, but we're almost Is that the number that needs to be met for the turkeys to critical turkey math for the uprising? And I, for one, welcome it. Yeah, yeah, it would be another thing on the if it happened. Ye, that makes sense. I feel like humans had our shots to run society. I'm ready for turkeys to run our society for us.

I love the idea of dinosaurs coming back to be in charge of earth. It's it's just turkeys and chickens. I know joke was thinking about running a D and D campaign like that. I may still do it, so we'll see. Uh. Speaking of turkeys getting their revenge in Massachusetts, there is revenge of the turkeys, revenge of the TURKEI yeah, that sounds right, that sounds star wars. Star wars with turkeys. Turkeys can be very let's say, assert of Some might

call it aggressive. I would say confident. Male turkeys have a social hierarchy that they established through acts of dominance. So like you may have heard of a pecking order, this is essentially what that is. So typically you have a group of male turkeys called gobblers. Sorry trying to have a serious discussion about turkey hierarchy. And like the male turkeys called gobblers associate in familial groups, amongst which there is one dominant gobbler. Their nature documentary like that

our new Attenborough. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I want to hear Attenborough say gobblin the beautiful side of the magnificent Gobblin. So the dominant male is the most successful at mating, whereas the less dominant males are basically waiting for their chance to become the top turkey at some point. So by coming together, actually, these groups of related turkeys have a better chance at passing on their genes than when

they are just working alone. Females also have a social hierarchy, but unlike the males, where their social hierarchy is constantly changing, like someone's going to be on top the next day, the other person is on the bottom, which is how I imagine like Real Housewive was never watched the show, but I assume it's similar to male turkeys, like fighting for dominance, where it's like one week, it's pretty accurate, right, one week, Bethany's on top of the next week, Cheryl

Bethany is the only name I know from the show. I've seen a few different ones, and you're pretty accurate. Is there a Cheryl Sharon there, Megan, I'm pretty sure it's Sharon Tiffin al Tiffin. Al Tiffin als very controversial.

She's she says what's on her mind, no matter what. Now. Essentially, male turkeys have like a reality show of turkey dominance, whereas female turkeys they'll establish something of a pecking order, but it's very stable, like they don't have to kind of like fight for dominance as much because, uh, you know, they get to there will be multiple female turkeys mating with one dominant male. However, when interact with humans, they

feel the need to bully us into submission. So if you have ever encountered wild turkeys, you may know that they can be quite aggressive, quite assertive, and you know, always trying to fight. Hold my wattle, Hold my wattle. He's like flipping his snood back over his shoulder so he can fight you. Animal Control suggests that when you are interacting with wild turkeys, which try not to. First of all, I think that's like the number one try.

Try not interacting with wild turkeys is number one. But if you find yourself interacting with wild turkeys, be confident around aggressive turkeys, make loud noises and assertive movements, and never turn your back on a turkey. Don't do it. First of all, you're joining the mob or something. First of all, they are going to immediately say mean things about you the minute you're back is turned, and they'll

possibly attack you. In Brookline, Massachusetts, there was a typo on the town's website where they wrote quote being aggressive towards wild turkeys is recommended by state wildlife officials. They meant to write quote being aggressive towards wild turkeys is not recommended by state wild officials. Before like a little while there, everyone in the town of Brookline, Massachusetts is like,

all right, it's on. It's God, especially in Massachusetts. I could see so many drunk men trying to fight turkeys. Want to go with me? Turkey, you want to go with me? Really? Pocket turkey button Havid Yad. Yeah, there you go. That's not bad. That's a pretty good accent. I spent some time there. While it is not suggested that you'd be aggressive towards the turkey, do not be the instigator, but if the turkey starts a fight with you,

be bold, make loud noises. Just don't try to find the turkey, you know, try to deescalate with the turkey, like turkey, listen, bro, calm down, think about it, think about what you're doing. Man. Yeah, yeah, I like that. And you know, it encourages knowing the difference between being assertive and being an asshole, Like yeah, exactly. You can say what's on your mind and not be me right, you don't. You can stand up for yourself with a turkey,

but you don't have to escalate the situation with a turkey. Yeah. I like that. I feel like turkeys should be like in these corporate sort of conventions or something where they're doing workshops on how to turn your back on me. Number one, that's number one. Number two, closers get corn. Corn corn is only for closers. Number three, number three, make sure snoods snoods out always have big big snoot energy. I want to see energy. Tony Robbins kind of figure. Yeah,

Turkey Robbins gobbling is good. The presidential pardoning of a turkey may seem like a strange tradition, but it wasn't always that way. Since ninety seven, the National Turkey Federation has presented a turkey to the president not to pardon, but to slaughter and eat. It was only until nine when the tradition of officially pardoning a turkey began. However, before then, Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon, and jfk All informally

pardoned their turkeys, sending them to petting zoos. Of course, the official pardoning of turkeys raises the question did all those other turkeys get railroaded? When we return, we're going to talk about a weird alternative turkey you may have never heard of unless you live in Australia. There are only two species of actual turkey, the wild North American turkey and the oscillated turkey found in Mexico. Oscillated turkeys were domesticated in ancient Mexico and were and still are

a common food in the region. Oscillated turkeys are remarkably similar to their North American cousins, other than they're more vibrant appearance. They also have a slightly more distinct gobble sounding something like this. But to find a truly strange so called turkey, we have to travel to Australia. Alright, So a lot of people you don't You don't want to just go with a conventional thing, right, like the

conventional turkey. You want an alternative turkey, al turkey. So I'm gonna talk about an alternative turkey for you guys to enjoy, not to eat, I don't think, but to enjoy visually. What is we only eat one kind of turkey we eat well, no, I don't think so, I mean like, we eat mostly domesticated, farmed turkeys and they

actually can look different from wild turkeys. We do eat wild turkeys, so wild turkeys are hunted and eaten a lot of the like of course, like there's a lot of regulations around that, Like I said, like they were almost hunted to extinction in the US, but now you can still, I think, hunt for wild turkeys as long as it's it's regulated and you get a license for it and there's like a bag limit. But turkeys are also farmed, and actually farmed turkeys do not look like

wild turkeys. They actually have white feathers. And this is so when the farmed turkeys are plucked, if they leave feathers on, it doesn't look as bad like when you like basically the white turkey pin feathers are less visible on a turkey carcass, so for consumers it's like less alarming, like, hey, this used to be a bird. I wasn't expecting that with the feathers. Actually, that's why in our bizarre edition of Pardoning a turkey, like that turkey it tends to

have white feathers. It's it doesn't look like the basically the colorful traditional turkey you think of, because that's what a farmed turkey looks like interesting, But if you just want an alternative turkey to kind of rock to, you know, like I want to talk about the Australian brush turkey also known as the bush turkey, also known as the scrub turkey, which just makes me think of like a

a scrubs turkey. Yeah, Zach Braff and Donald's place on like as turkeys, I thought of TLC no scrubs mmmmmmmmm. I thought of a turkey who thinks he's fly mm hmmmm. I mean these turkeys are a little fly, if I might say so myself. So these are found in the forests of eastern Australia. They are beautiful birds with black feathers, red bare faces and necks, and males have a bright yellow scarf at the base of their neck, which is it's made out of skin. I'll be honest with you.

It's a big flap of wrinkly yellow skin. Uh. This is the wattle for these birds. But it looks like a fetching scarf to me, like a silk scarf. It does. It is very or like a boa like it's like a it's like a weird reverse boa because like the rest of the birds are covered in feathers except the neck part, which looks kind of like a boa, which doesn't actually have any feathers on it. It's just skin. So it's like an inver, it's a skin boa. It's

like a nice little statement piece. Yes, exactly. These wattles become even brighter during mating season and they swing from side to side as the as these birds kind of like jog around, um, which just I love the visual, you know, it's a statement. Yeah, yeah, it's a powerful, powerful look. These birds kind of like their feathers are black, so it's sort of like formal from the neck down and then from the neck up it is it is glam. Yeah,

they do seem a little more subtle. They're a little more like a classic sort of yeah, sort of like a theater person who's like got sort of a kerchief, uh, in a in a in a nice blazer. Definitely. Yeah. So while these are called turkeys, they're actually not super closely related to the turkeys found in America, including both the wild turkey of um North America and the oscillated turkey,

which is found in Mexico. But these turkeys, so they're in the same order as turkeys phylogenetically, so Galliforms is the order that contains turkey, ease chickens, pheasants, quails, partridges, peacocks,

and a lot of other ground feeding bird species. Turkeys are in their own family, so like our wild turkey, affilated turkeys are in their own family, um, whereas these Australian bush turkeys are in a different family, so they're not that close to you related there, Like the wild turkey in America is as closely related to a quail, actually more closely related to a quail than they are

to the Australian bush turkey. Would it be like a brother in law sort of relation, Like yeah, maybe, like sort of like a second cousin twice removed that you see like once every other year. And like your Facebook friends, but you don't you know, really talk and interact that

much on Facebook. And you're pretty sure they only like message you on your birthday because Facebook sent them a reminder and they click the button that like does the automatic birthday message right, no personaliz, just happy birthday right right exactly, And like they've said l O L to one of your posts in five years. Yeah, there we go. That's like their relationship okay, okay. But despite the Australian brush turkey not being a true turkey, I suppose they

do look a bit like a turkey. They have this similar body shape. They're actually a bit smaller, actually quite a bit smaller than the wild turkey, a little over half as big. But one of the cool things about these turkeys is their turkey society, which to me is way cooler than the American turkey society. So Australian brush

turkeys play a Turkey version of Game of Thrones. So a dominant male will build a huge turkey castle, which is actually just a giant mound of leaves, earth and other forest materials, like just basically a compost heap, which is like the turkey throne. And these turkey thrones can reach up to five ft high which is about one point five meters, and thirteen ft wide which is about

four meters. And if you have a big pile of a big turkey mound, big turkey throne, females will love you and they will flock to the turkey mound to mate and lay their eggs in the mound. So in the game of turkey mounds, you when or you don't. Yeah, fly that also feels very real housewives, like whoever has the biggest mansion wins, right thing, Yeah, exactly right. Turkey cribs, Turkey cribs. There we go. He's just like, this is where the magic happened, and it's a pile leaves exactly

exactly so. Because building the mound is so time and energy consuming, and he must defeat constant challengers to his throne. Fighting off rival males, the dominant male only has a short rain over his royal pile of sticks and leaves and dirt before he will be overthrown by a younger, stronger turkey who will take over the mound, possibly add to it, build it up. So you just have this like,

you know, constant like fight for power. Turkey's taking over Turkey KU's I'm sorry, it's it's I didn't mean to like, it's not a joke. It's like an actual turkey coup. You know, I'm not not not being well, no, I'm not being topical. I'm not trying to make a pun about turkeys going coup because they don't really. Oh but I wasn't trying to, so just to nor that it's fine. So these compost heaps, which the turkeys love, are actually really good for their eggs. So females will lay their

eggs within the mound and cover them up. And actually, because it's a basically compost heap, the temperature inside the mound is a little bit warm and that helps incubate the eggs. The turkeys will actually test the temperature of the compost heap with their beaks and if it's like two cold, they will add more twigs and leaf and dirt and stuff to keep their eggs warmer. And there can be several females all using the same mound and they can lay up to collectively lay up to like

almost fifty eggs within a mound. So yeah, yeah, it's the big old, big old nursery. And of course like for predators who love eggs, this is like an amazing place to try to scavenge for eggs, right, well, like right the sizzler for Goanna's. Goannas are large lizards that are found in Australia. Um. Some species can reach up to almost seven feet which is two ms in length. They are quite big, they are carnivorous. They love to eat eggs. Uh do you did you ever watch that

movie The Rescuers down Under. I I think I did. I don't remember it very well, with the little mice and the kids sidnapped by a poacher and an eagle, a giant eagle that carries the kid around. And I always wished when I was a kid that a giant eagle would carry me around, but it never happened, so my dreams are crushed. You might be thankful for that now, knowing what eagles are capable of. I wanted to do a death spiral with the eagle Elison. Okay, okay, understandable.

There was this lizard that was like the pet of the poacher, and he would call this lizard the go anna, and I thought it was just like the name that he called this lizard. But it's actually the name of the type of lizard that it is. There's a bunch of species of goannas and they are big, old, big old lizards. I think they're kind of cute. Any naming your dog dog, yeah, or even like more like naming

your dog canine, like even more generic than that. It's not even a specific species of go ona, just like, hey, canine, whoa yeah? Interesting, Well it is a it is a it is like a direct direct to VHS Disney movie. So what you say, Um, so go on, as we'll try to get some of these eggs. And it seems like, you know, like these pretty not like huge birds, smaller than a turkey. Like, what's the problem. Well, the brush turkeys are extremely aggressive and they will completely go ham

on anyone trying to take their eggs. And there are go ho is that actually have severe injuries that are found like with all these scars because of the brush turkeys just mercilessly pecking the hell out of them because they try to steal their eggs. So yeah, it's um, I think we have come to basically the moral of the episode, which is don't work with turkeys. I believe that. Yeah, that is uh yeah. If you if you learn one thing from this podcast, it's don't don't screw around with turkeys,

do you not? No, No, it's just not It's not a situation you want to be in. You don't want to put yourself in the situation of having to talk down a turkey that is about to attack you. Hot headed right right, Yeah, any questions, Well, I know not to funk with turkeys, So that's good. The main point, I guess if I Okay, there was one thing that I was wondering about when you're talking about the eggs. Could they be eating like chicken eggs? Sure? Maybe, yeah,

I think so. Actually, people do eat turkey eggs. I don't know about probably brush turkey eggs. That happens sometimes. You know, they could be used as sort of like a local, local food source. I'm not I'm not too certain about it, but it seems as long as you don't get packed to death by them. Yeah, yeah, I mean, any bird egg can be eaten like a chicken egg because they all start out with really yeah, yeah, ostrich egg you can. You can make a giant omelet if

you want. From from a quail egg to an ostrich egg, you can make an omelet. That's true. Yeah, I have had quail egg and that's pretty wonder With the hummingbird egg, I feel like you if you had to make an omelet with an hummingbird egg, you would need to do it over like a tea tea light candle, like a lighter, put it in a spoon like like over a lighter, make a tiny hummingbird omelet. Don't eat hummingbird eggs, you

guys don't do it. There's sweet and cute, but I honestly I'd kind of like to see somebody try, just because I'd like to see an episode of Like Hell's Kitchen where they have to cook an omelet with an ostrich egg and then a hummingbird egg, and then Gordon Ramsey just like brates them endlessly. Yeah, I would watch that. Well, I think we've cracked the case on turkeys, don't you. I think so too. Yeah, and I've learned a lot. Well, thank you so much for joining me on my My

Turkey episode special? Where can people find You? Where can the Turkeys find you? Any hot eligible angle turkeys you want to find me, I'm on Twitter at just about glad uh. And also you have an audible original, right you want to talk a little bit about the Yeah, I wrote it and it's on Audible right now. It's called Like Mother, and it's a scripted podcast loosely semi autobiographical based on my relationship with my mother, and it

stars me and Susie Esman of Curb Muenthsiasm. So pretty exciting. Yeah, that is exciting. And you can find us on the internet at Creature Future Pod on Instagram at Creature feet Pot on Twitter. That's f E A T not f ET has something very different. You can find me on Twitter at Katie Golden kat I E G O L d I N. You know, just for Katie thoughts. Not always about animals, but sometimes about animals. Sometimes I do threads where I roast your pets, so you know, look

out for that. If you want to directly send me a picture of your pet or question for the podcast or episode idea or whatever, you can email me at Creature Feature Pod at gmail dot com. Yeah, thank you guys so much for listening. I really appreciate it. I hope everyone is staying safe. Try to, you know, keep it safe this holiday season. You know, like COVID is still out there, it's still still lurking. So yeah, I just just try try to try to keep it safe,

keep it tight. He's just personal. Consider just ordering pizza and college. Yeah, save a turkey, order a pizza. Thank you to the Space Classics for their super awesome song Excelumina. Creature Feature is a production of I Heart Radio. For a more podcast like the one you just heard, visit the I Heart Radio app Apple podcast or Hey Guess what Wherever you listen to your favorite shows. See you next Wednesday. It's just one more and maybe one more.

Turkey go walking on it. Canna be thusty. That's good. H