Real Life SCPs!

totally real, transdimensional paranormal phenomena. It's said that the SCP Foundation is an example of collaborative writing fiction and sure it's fictional. That's totally not something a super top secret organization would say. So I'm going to go through some real life documented animals who could easily be SCP entries. From the Grim Reaper who floats in the midnight Zone, to a pile of undead spiders. These creatures have all been found to data expunged. Discover this and more as

we answer the agele question Eric Data redacted. Joining me today our hosts of the one nine hundred hot dog podcast dog Zone nine thousand, Robert Brockway and Shan Maybe perfect pronunciation perfect, nobody ever does the extra gees and Z's thank you Yeah there's two gs, two z's. I'm Sean Baby, I studied volleyball and bud light Nice, I'm Robert Brockway, and thank you for containing and hopefully protecting me. Yeah,

and securing, don't forget securing. Well, that's impossible. So the inspiration for this episode actually came from a young listener named Max who asked me to do an episode about animals that could be the subject of the SEP Foundation.

It is this quote unquote fictional website where they have Wikipedia entries that are meant to look like they come from this shadowy governmental organization, where they describe the things that they secure contain, protect transdimensional creepy paintings, animals that are half an animal, creepy things that follow you around, and a candy bowl. I think that's haunted anyways. So I when you say young, how are we talking like thirty five young or like thirty five years young? I think,

what did they say? I think they're around eight years old, okay, and they're Yeah, they're loose on the Internet. It's just free to roam, free to roam. SCP. Be careful out there. It's a while on waking Internet. But yeah, the SEP foundation. It's I think it kind of there's a bunch of media to like video games and creative videos. I think like it's in the same genre as like the slender Man stuff, where it's like this spooky Internet stuff that is made to seem like found footage or something that

someone caught in real life. My daughter loves this kind of stuff as soon if there's some sort of a meta narrative going on of like a cartoon getting corrupted by darkness, that's like that's her thing. Yeah, I go down the rabbit hole of user generated content for that stuff all day. Yeah, it's fun. I do like Haunted SpongeBob, where it's like, oh, it's an episode of SpongeBob, but it's haunted. M Oh yeah, I'm so out of touch with the kids these days that that that just confounds

and baffles me. Haunted SpongeBob, I don't even have a picture of what that might be the idea a lot of them. Actually, it helps that SpongeBob has those like watercolor paintings that they do sometimes where it's like super realistic close up of squid words face and you can see all the pores. It's already I think verging on nightmare Fuel that show and speaking of nightmare Fuel, under the Sea, the first entry in our sep Secure Creature podcast,

Yeah you did there? Yeah, uh is found in the midnight zone, quite literally, the midnight zone in the ocean. What do you guys think of when you think of the midnight zone? Probably reading ocean books with my daughter, it comes up a lot. It's one of her favorites. She loves these, uh these types of creatures. I guess this is all my point of reference. This is fantastic. I do not have a creepy daughter, so uh I

wish I did. But uh I, I could have a creepy I could have several creepy daughters if I wanted to. That'd be really good at that. Maybe I got Maybe I got a new life goal. It's just to start a little, a little weird creepy family. He just bother about this diggy and depths. I think of like a knockoff twilight Zone, like a twilight Zone that's on like the Sci Fi Channel in two thousand and three and ran for most of a season. Yeah, welcome midnight Zone,

Kevin Bacon. You think Carmen Elector in two thousand and three. Kevin Smith. Ah, yeah, I feel that really good. What if it was the real Jersey the best Guy, but instead of being made out of people, we was made out of pizza. Huh what a Kevin Smith impression? My god, dat What would you do if you were really deep in the ocean and all the fish were dark, but with a little light bulb on their heads? Hi, I'm telling me. Farland The Midnight Zone spooky Music, seven or

seven entire episodes. Here's what kids love. Todd McFarland's Spawn references. Yeah, now that show is a big hit. Haunted, Haunted Spawn. The kids love Haunted Spawn, well, the biggest name on the Internet. The Midnight Zone is a very real place in the ocean, found around a thousand to four thousand meters or three thousand, three hundred to thirteen thousand feet under the sea. And that's a lot of feet. It's so many feet. It is also known as the bathy

Pleagic Zone. It is an area of the ocean so deep that no sunlight can penetrate it. No photosynthesis or sun tanning can occur here. It is pitch black, well and wet, and it's real. It's somehow, it's wetter than the normal ocean down there, Like, it's weird how that happens. It's James Cameron keeps an office down there. It's just

to get away. It's a serious wetness down there. And in these depths there lurks something called the stigio Medusa gigantea, whose name means giant medusa with the darkness like the river of death. So the most god animal, yes, so god that when he introduces himself, he's just like, okay that let looped back around from scary to like I'm gonna bully you a little bit now. Yeah. Yeah. Their scientists are like, maybe you should have been a magician.

I don't can we went a little crazy, buddy. I do like the idea of here's what I named the jellyfish that dark Yeah, I named mine Todd after myself and Todd McFarlane. You're just going off the deep end. Oh, I'm going to throw you in the river sticks aka the turilet. You're getting us whirly, the most bully jellyfish science. Yes, so this is also known as the phantom jellyfish. There's no name this jellyfish has that doesn't sound super dramatic. And over the top. But if you see it, it

does look super dramatic and over the top. Yeah, let me try to describe this. This looks like, um like a little like a little hat or maybe kind of a UFO with dryer lint tentacles of dryer land. I like that. The try hard goth jellyfish is wearing a little fedora. Yeah, that's very appropriate, and a trench coats. A fedora with a trench coat coming out of it. This is very like mid two thousands try hard high school sad boy kind of. Yeah. This is someone else

first his first day of Fedora. See him they can pull it off him? Yeah, like and everyone says no, it's kind of like the It's like the vampire cost players of the mid two thousands. Excuse me, cos players. It's a it's a way of life. I knew. I was friends with some of those kids. Well they're phantom jellyfish now. So the giant Phantom jellyfish has very shy,

much like a mid two thousands vampire lifestyle player. They have only been sided around one hundred times, which sounds like a lot, but for an animal, you know, I guess that's not a lot. That's not a lot for a whole species. I mean, if it was like one, it was like one like like Benson, the Haunt of Jellyfish and you've seen him one hundred times. Tired about seeing you, Benson. Sorry. So it is thought to be found all over the world in the depths of the

ocean's midnight zone. Uh. It can grow to be over thirty feet or ten meters in length. So try given that thing a swirlieu and it weighs over ninety pounds or forty kilograms, making it one of the largest invertebrate predators in the ocean. This thing is a full nightmare. Yeah, yeah, it is. Again, it's got like that little like gelatinous fedorac cap kind of looks like a bowler hat made out of a gossamer veil, and then all its tentacles are these like sort of they look like shredded grim

reaper robe just kind of floating around there. And because they live in the midnight zone, that grim reaper like appearance renders them invisible. In these photos we see like they kind of you know, there's almost like this little bit of like an orange glow inside of the bell that fedora hat that bowler cap is called the bell

of the jellyfish, and that glow is not visible. Normally that that glow happens because there's light being shined on this thing, but typically it is completely invisible to any of the poor inhabitants of the midnight Zone who are small enough to be eaten by this thing. They will silently drift in this dark watery abyss and grab small fish or zooplankton with their veil like tentacles. And unlike a lot of other jellyfish, they do not have stinging tentacles,

so they don't really stun their prey. They just ensnarl them, tangle them up in their tentacles, smother them, and then eat them. It's hardcore, Benson. Yeah, take it easy, Benson. There's like probably no good way to die in the midnight Zone. Like if you're being chumped to death by a by a bowler hat, you're like, all right, it's something like that. Yeah, Yeah, that's that's what to be expected of the midnight Zone. I'm Kevin Smith. It's definitely

not the worst way to die. That will discuss on this podcast today. Oh good, Yeah, that's the direction we're going, all right, I hope you love it. Max to my eight year old listener, here's a terrifying way to die in the ocean. They requested it loves it. So though they are a silent phantom death stalker of the depths,

their prey tends to be very small. Uh. These very small fish sometimes zooplankton, which means that a larger, more daring fish has an opportunity for what for a findship, So they really only like to kill you if you scream. That's the that's the phantom jellyfish one. So the Pelaso

Bathia pleagica aka pleagic brochila. Which usually when I have like two names for something, one name is at least recognizable or less goofy Uh, this one is just like this one is either Theelaso Bathio pleagica or pleagic brothula brochila, which other whichever you want. Brochilla. See, I thought that was a joke name. I thought you're like, he's brochilla. He is. He is actually bro chilla, which is funny. He is a relatively ugly fish. Uh. It's this dark,

purply brown. It kind of looks like a an elongated plum groove fish parts it's like shaped sort of like yeah, it's with eyeballs in a fin. It's shaped like a stubby eel. It grows around nine inches or a little over twenty two centimeters long. I'm just gonna say it for the record. God should be a shame to himself. This is where you never expected us to go to the midnight zone. This is where he hides all of the screw ups. Yeah, you shouldn't go down there. That's

the first draft folder. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, eh, well we'll put these here in the ocean, and it's like, don't you love us? Don't you love us? God? Oh yeah, just go down there. But you can't see us down here. All the better to treasure you with my heart's eyes. Oh, Benson, you got a lot of character. So it looks like the sidewalk after someone like lost an elbow to it,

Like it just looks like a human elbow smeared across. Yeah, with a face with a face, yeah, like or you pulled sort of like a giraffe tongue out in stead a fish face on it. It's it's like a swimming infection, for sure. I've got it. I've got this is a golden eye face unwrapped from the polygons. Oh oh God, that makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. So it is thought that the pleagic brochilla is indeed

a brochilla to the phantom jellyfish. It lives in the jellyfish's bell, So that little bowler cap that makes it look like a huge nerd uh, this little guy, this fish swims in there and removes parasites. Meanwhile, the fish gets a free meal and is provided shelter inside of the jellyfish's bell. So they are he may be ugly, but at least he eats bacteria out of a douchebags hat.

I live, I live in the grim Reaper's hat. It's like this jellyfish is really trying to get a vibe going, like I stop the night in the midnight zone and me too. Okay, y, I'm gonna need you to get back in my hat. Hello, you're about to meet You're gonna eat that weird moon caterpillar. Yeah, he kind of, he does. His vibes are definitely different from the jellyfish. The jellyfish is more goth and this one is a little bit more like Cronenberg's mistake. M hm. I would

watch this children's show though. Yeah, like you put those two together. That's an odd couple I could get behind. It's Benson and Jerry living in the midnight zone eating little fish, going around looking like God's mistakes. Perfect theme song for it too, we were We're already most of the way there. Let's pitch it. Come get me, Netflix, I'm here to write your new children's show. I'm already writing the pitch dick. Yeah, doing some illustrations, but goth

in the scab. Just make sure all of the characters look like donated organs that have grown bad faces already done. They all look like inserts from SpongeBob. So spiders, how you guys feel about spidies? Strongly against, mildly against? Oh there we go, let them live if they're in a corner or something. Yeah, you just do your thing. Wow, real, real sort of benevolent god you are to the spiders. I feel like I could be the kind of guy that would put a spider outside, but that's just not

an option in my house. If I hear like a random scream, I don't. I don't panic anymore. I'm just like, oh, you found a spider. Yeah. I am the type of person to gently pick up a little spider. I actually hold it just by one of its little little arms and go like, come with me, a little spidy. We're going outside, and it just walks next to me and yeah, and just like here you go go outside, you are. I give a little kiss packed in a tiny brown

paper bag full of lunch. It's just flyguts. So there is a Twitter thread by someone named Adam Roy documenting the subreddit aptly named spiders Just spiders the subreddit which is a great subreddit. I love it, and Adam Roy found this great story on it. Someone from Australia posted on the spiders subreddit for help because they kept finding piles of dead spiders under the kitchen table. And they're from Australia, so they're they're posting in Spiders about piles

and dead spiders and you're sitting there from Australia. I wouldn't have guessed that in a million years. And they need help. This has to be dire. I mean, their whole life is spent just fending off and possibly accidentally eating spiders. So if they're like, this is messed up, you guys, I need somebody to come help me. And then they say, by the way, I'm from Australia, You're like, good God, No, yeah, I think in Australia they don't always accidentally eat spiders. So yeah, I was trying to

be generous. I wasn't trying to offend your Australian listeners. But yeah, you're a bunch of spider eating freaks. I know that. Yeah, I mean I think spiders are nutritious and delicious. If I wasn't such good friends with him, I'd eat a spider. Why not. The true horror behind this podcast, ladies and chill, Like, what I'm saying is it chickens only got two legs and spiders got eight of them more more more makes a whole family of eight happily. Anyways, I'm graduated from taking them out hand

to hand in hand. Yeah, I'm gonna eat. I don't eat spiders. I knit them tiny sweaters. So Katie eat spiders. Have you ever seen a human mouth filled the spiders? Time? Kevin Smith and here in the Midnight Zone, what if our teeth was spiders? Makes you think, doesn't it. That's that's one, right, that's one. Let's do that one gain. Yeah, oh, this is still the intro. We only got seven episodes, just put it in here. Martha was a regular lady, but then she wished her teeth was spiders. Turns out

she didn't like it. It was a bad idea pile of dead spiders Australia. But what was weird about it was that these are all sorts of different species of spiders. If it's like a pile of the same type of spider, You're like, ah, got a pile of spiders, okay, But it was a pile of assorted spiders, like a like a mixed assortment of spiders. Yeah, Like they got together and chose to die together. It's very strange. You're like, what led to that decision? Spiders? Spider call if you

took a scoop of spider pot pourri. M yeah, that's a really good way to describe this. It's a good way to liven up a bathroom. But upon closer investigation, it turns out the spider's legs were splayed open. And you know how like when you see a dead spider, as I do all the time, and I cry about it, the legs are curled inwards. It's the classic. It's the classic dead spider. Look. Well, the reason that dead spiders have curled legs is that their legs are actually powered

by hydraulic fluid, not by muscles. So they pump this like spider fluid through their legs, and the pumping of this fluid is actually what makes their legs move around. This skinness sound crazy, kat I think you had us on the show when we talked about necrotic like hydraulic spider leg pumping. That's very possible, I did. Yeah, we talk about spider juice a lot. Yeah, this podcast should just be called the Spider Juice Podcasts. Spider Juice with

Katie in the Dough sponsored by Spider Juice. It's real spiders now juggy version through anything, Martha. So when spiders die, as you may remember from previous shows where I have explained this, the fluid pump system stops working and their legs relax, which actually means that they curl up, because curled up is kind of like the default position when this fluid is not being pumped through their legs. It's kind of like it's kind of like a party horn

when air is running through it, it's extended. But when the airflow stops, it curls up. But just replace party horn with spider legs and air with spider juice, and there you go. You got a spider leg. You got a party spider horn. That's how you got a party spider. And just imagine someone like blowing into a spider and all the legs like going, here's what I'm picturing. You're lost in a desert island and you're there with like all the plane crash survivors, and one of them is

a child. They're like, it's my birthday, but I don't have any party horns. And you like pull up a big spider that you found on the island. You're like, that's all right, I know how to do this. Katie's podcast you can tear off an here's the podcast I read just for you eight years old, Max. So, uh, what uh? The significance of the fact that these spiders were found with their legs splayed open rather than curled up,

meant that the spiders weren't dead, They're just paralyzed. So what do you boys think a pile of paralyzed spiders were doing under a kitchen table and go I'm gonna say, uh, I know Max is listening, but I'm gonna say hardcore drugs. I was gonna say snuggling. Let's go in different directions, cattle party. Uh No, hardcore drugs is actually closer to it.

This was the handiwork of a mud Dauber wasp, which the Australian who found this pile of spiders actually did confirm because they saw this wasp crawling out of the table leg, which is a weird place to put a wasp. But you keep your wasp. I keep my wasps well organized in the wasp shelf, all right. So mud Daubers are very waspy wasps. I mean, they're definite wasps shaped wasp.

They are yellow and black, usually sometimes they're more brown. Um. They're different species, many different species, and they generally have these very thin tube like waists. Yeah I got those barbering proportions. Yeah ready, Yeah, the just in an Instagram filter that makes you look like this wasp. I think this wasp has had some work done, no doubt. That

is definitely a thorax implant. Yeah. The mud Daubers species are found all over the world, spreading torture and death throughout the lamp happy birthday, little child Max mud daubers. I don't know if it's his birthday, but I feel like it's his birthday. Yeah, if you need a party blower, Max, tear off a spider leg and put it in your mouth. Uh, don't do that so your parents don't get mad at us. So mud mud daubers are named as such because they

construct nests out of mud. Typically, these are like sort of tubes. Some species have really elaborate nests that they kind of look like pipe organs. Sometimes they look more lumpy, but the general thing is that they construct a tube and in each tube they will lay an egg. But they want their egg to be well nourished so to provide food for their babies. This is where the pile of paralyzed spiders comes in. Niche the killed a wasp, No no hesitation, just flattened right there. Yeah. No, I don't,

I don't hold. I don't like gently escort a wasp out of my house. That is, I mean, I'm so scared, got no respect, got no respect for a wasp. No wasps scare me because they can sting you and it hurts. And also they just they do a lot of messed up stuff. They got some war crimes going on, Like, you don't need to do this as a wasp. You could just kill them and then keep them around. But the paralyzing them and then just leaving them there, that's

a wasp move. There's technically a reason for this serial killer like move, wasp apologist. Look, I may be just a city lawyer here, but I say this wasp had good reason to paralyze it's victims and leave it as food for its young Um I did it for my kids. Yeah, every evil person says that wasp. So the wasp herself cannot eat the spider. She actually just daintily SIPs the nectar of flowers. But she will paralyze these spiders and

then take them to her nest. So she will deposit these dead spiders into one of her nest tubes, lay an egg on top of them, seal it up with another bit of mud, and just leave. It's probably whistling to herself going off to sip some more nectar, like she's a fairy princess. But yeah, she has a pile of bodies in a tube and they're still alive. Yes, where do you keep your bodies? And a shelf labeled bodies next to the I am very organized. I really

marry condo my whole death celler. So both answers are loose table leg for me or heat my wasps and all my bodies. It's such a good delivery system. Here is where the torture element comes into, Like it is actually very important for her to leave these spiders alive, just immobilized, because if they're dead spiders, they go bad and they need to be fresh. So when the egg hatches and starts to mature over the winter, the larva can slowly eat the spiders while they are fresh and

juicy and delicious. I'm still not on board just invent preservatives or paralyzed spider. I think there's a frog that like is a fridge. Just like talk to that guy. You're thinking of the wood frog, which can be frozen and then come back to life. So you go, he's half he's halfway to a fridge instead of thousands of years of evolving into a monster. He does have an frize in his blood. Yeah, that guy's got it going on. Yeah,

so even better. The mud Dauber wasps like to kill, specifically some of the cutest spiders in my opinion, like you know what I mean, it's messed up. You don't have to do that. So they like to kill jumping spiders, which they're my favorite spider. I love jumping spiders. They only cute spiders. Really, they have adorable little faces. They're like the puppies of the spider world. Often really colorful and amazing. They also like to kill orb weavers, who

they're not. They don't have like the cute faces of jumping spiders, but they can be really pretty. They can come in beautiful colors kind of almost look like sort of these like floral I don't know, they just they're like the fairies of the spider world. They're they're they're beautiful. But they kill those and they cram like a dozen of them into the nest tube. All these spiders are paralyzed, not dead. They lay their egg and then the egg will hatch into a larva that will just comfortably eat

its way through these still alive spiders. Sez eat it. Wasp Yeah, suck. And the thing is mud Daubers have not only killed spiders, but airplanes full of people. Oh see, I told you that I know a monster when I spot one. Yeah, what how did the store they stored the whole day airplanes full of people in the middle tubes? What was Samuel Jackson during all of this? He was way too focused on the snakes. Snakes aren't like snakes, I think, are not. They're not as devious as wasps.

I'm gonna get these mother father wasps off this Monday to Friday plane. So uh, Max, you might not want to listen to this deck bit um. Anyways, In nineteen ninety six, a seven fifty seven Virgin Air flight three oh one crashed into the Atlantic while flying from the Dominican Republic. Crash investigators pinned the blame on a black and yellow mud dauber, who likely built a nest in one of the important external flight instruments, messing up the

air speed readings. I mean, apparently it was also like pilot air because the pilot really should have known better, like plane crashes are so rare, or usually like a bunch of things have to go wrong at the same time. It has to be like this weird coincidence of like the pilot's not doing a good job, but also there's some problem with the instruments or you have a freaking wasp build its nest inside one of the instruments and nobody notices it. Apparently the plane was also not stored properly,

so it's a big problem. But yeah, the plane would not have crashed if it wasn't for this wasp. It was good news to me that, like they died in the crash and weren't like individually paralyzed by wasps and then had eggs hatch into their still living bodies. I wouldn't say because they died in a crash, but I'm

saying like what I was picturing as you started the story. Yeah, in twenty fifteen, there was a near crash and plane damage with no fatalities on a Gulf Stream G five because an outflow valve got blocked with mud dauber nest material, so they tried to do it again. I've got to become the Alex Jones of Lost Pint. Just you see, people, it's everywhere. You're not paying attention. The wasps are in the planes. I mean, mainstream media, you can look it up.

The wasps are trying to kill us. That's a really good Alex Jones. I can, like I can hear the blood fressels breaking in your eyeballs, which is a bit touch. So I think that, like, the thing is humanity. You know, we're all busy fighting each other when we should be busy fighting the wasps. M let's get them. Yeah, like we everybody listening to this go find a wasps nest and fight it, right, Yes, but don't do that otherwise, Max, don't don't do that, Max. Max's parents are gonna be

furious with me. After it's your birthday. You're exempted from the wasp wars. Think of the lives who would save Max. So, Fellers, I have a photo for you. It's a picture of something lying in someone's blue gloved hand. Can you describe it to me? It is sort of Lovecraft's fly fishing hook. M agree to that? Yeah? I like that. It's like it kind of looks like a piece of weird kelp. Right, it's got sort of a kelpie kelpie look, and it's God.

It looks like another of God's mistakes. Let's just say, yeah, I don't trust my holes around this thing. This thing seems like something that does stuff to holes. YEA, yeah, that is Actually your intuition about protecting your holes is very very on point here. So what we were looking at. Is god? It really? Okay? So where do I start? Do I start with a weird broccoli looking stuff or the bulb broccoli? Weird broccoli, maybe the probi tendril? Yeah, okay.

So there's imagine a bulb and it kind of looks like a kelp bulb. But then there's like a stem that comes off of it, and off of that stem is like a hammerhead. Now let's go back to the bulb. On the other end of the bulb, it looks like a bunch of broccoli or weird cauliflower growing off of it. And this is all sort of a brownish greenish color, kind of like kelp uh. And then underneath the broccoli stuff is a tail that's just like a tube. This looks like a ship. Brockway would fly in Destiny Too.

That's a Destiny drip slam Maxill love that one. Yeah. Yeah, accessible accessible, that's why you bring us on? Is this accessible? Universal humor? Based on my esthetic choices in Destiny Too? So big ups to marine biologist doctor Jimmy Burnout on Twitter, who provided a studying picture of this thing. There is surprisingly scant info on this, Like there are some papers on it. But as far as I can tell, there's

not like a lot of popular info about it. There's not like a ton of sort of easily readable information on it. Uh. Yeah, you don't get into biology to study this. Yeah, it's not. It's not a real popular miss mash of biological atrocities. People just you know, it's not really a trendsetter. Yeah it is. Uh. It is a copa pod. So this is the giant copa pod Cephreon levi atum. That doesn't sound like I said it right, but sippypop, Yeah, it legatum, tie burrow, wind to your colon.

It's a copa pod. It's found in the South Atlantic Ocean. U. The giant copa pod is actually a crustacean, which is weird. Uh, And it's weird. It's related to other copa pods, So copa pods. There's a big group of stuff of these little crustaceans called copa pods, and copa pods tint to be very small. Often they're like they can be like planktonically small. But the giant copa pod is an exception. It fits comfortably in the palm of your hand or

uncomfortably embedded inside of you if you're a fish. I knew that was coming this jee you can just spot a whole dweller mile away. Yeah, so we're going to talk about the cusk eel. You guys want to talk about the cusk eel cuskeel cusk eel, I'm in so. Uh the cuskeel is a family of eel like bony fish. They uh, there are various species of cusk eel. One is called the king clip. I think there's like a

pink cusk eel. Um. You know they're it's a fish and they are unfortunate to be the targets of the giant copa pod who likes to burrow themselves into the cusk eel's chin. Yeah, and so their chin. I wasn't expecting that the devil's goatee got a little broccoli soul patch. Everyone's making funnier like I didn't choose it. Yeah, part which part dangles out of the eel, the the broccoli part,

the hammer head part is embedded inside of the cuskeel. Okay, Yeah, So they bury that hammer head portion of their body, uh like under the cuskel's mouth into the flesh and they have a tiny mouth on that hammerhead portion and then suck the juices. Oh, I thought they were going to take like little tiny bites of everything it eats, like just taking a fry off of their plate every time. Yeah,

I'll take one of those. Just imagining this thing like flopping around, like trying to get the fry into some ketchup and be like you. I maybe all that. I may be a shame on the eyes of the creator, but I do like ketchup on my fries. Say that you're my best friend, copa pot You'll never kill me. I'd like, just give me the large fry because my soul patch, I know, my soul patch is gonna have a few it says. It's not now it sucks juices out of the fish as far as I can tell, honestly.

I mean, look, if you are a giant copa pod expert out there and I got something wrong, please let me know. I want to talk to you, because I have been able to find very little information about this thing. I would very much not like to talk to a giant Coupa pod expert. You've made a lot of bad choices, Giant couple pod expert. I'm gonna end up on someone else's body shelf. Yeah, you're something that something's going to burrow into you. They'll have something that will burrow into you.

You're not and out of that conversation without a second being yet. I think I probably on probably on purpose, but he might just have a couple of him that he'd forgotten his pockets. Yeah, are going to get left behind. I mean, I've priority got a few buddies living inside me, so you know more than merrill. Well, I mean, if you want to rock a soul patch, it's fine. So yeah, they you know, basically attached themselves under the chin. And

I bet you're wondering what that broccoli looking thing is. God, that's sex organs it is. I have no idea what it is. Apparently no one else does either. So yeah, it's the beneficiary soulbit. It's like every every one of these relationships is give take, there has to be a benefit, and it's the soul patch. Like you can't if you're a fish, you cannot grow the soul patch short of this. So yeah, if you want one, and you really do want one, yeah, there's a price. Yeah, there you go.

It's a usually beneficial symbiosis. I think it's what you call that in the Midnight Zone. I guess, I mean you would call it that. I guess if soul patches were something that the Kuski all wanted. Kevin Smith, you like my soul patch, doesn't like you, welcome to the Midnight Zone. What if everyone's soul patches had a soul Wow? That might be Okay, that's definitely one. That's episode seven. We're going out on that. So now, I do you want to talk to the jant cob Bought experts. You

guys couldn't figure out the broccoli. I mean maybe someone has. I could like, it could got four chunks on it. You can't figure out twenty five of the chunks. It could be something that someone's figured out but I couldn't find. So if you know what the pod broccoli is all about, let me know. I would guess that what you searched for broccoli? What is PCO broccoli? Um? I would guess it's something to do with gosh, probably gas exchange or aeration of some kind, just because I'm thinking it's a

weird surface area. Stuff like this, like branching. Weirdness of the surface area makes me think something to do with aeration or change. Yeah, it's probably how it goes up and down. Maybe yeah, maybe maybe how it's like has helps with its respiration or helps aerate its eggs. I don't know. Maybe it's broccoli. It's just broccoli getting their house for my lunch. It could just be a real, a real sloppy as a species up. I would love that.

I would love that the person who preserved the specimen dropped a piece of broccoli from their stir fry into the jar. It's like, well, well, yeah, yeah, I'm the only one who took this course. And now they just they're stuck in a lie because the thing is so rare that they're just like, nah, yeah, no, that's part of it. That's part of the creature. Yeah, what does it do? We don't science. Science doesn't know. Well, you found one without broccoli. That's a totally new kind. I

wonder if anyone's ever tasted it. Without question, the freak who majored in copa pot Yeah, that's what biologists used to do. They used to taste the animals they would study, Like Darwin definitely ate a turtle from the Gallapagos, a tortoise, sorry, probably heat and I wanted or two too. You know, they ain't got him every single kind of finch, all those barnacles. He was obsessed with barnacles. The finches start of all ving beaks to peck at Darwin because it's like,

Ohwin measures. This is a very interesting form of evolution, Anti Darwin beaks. Because I keep eating these birds, the whole island just evolves. So in an eternal war with Darwin, it's the Anti Darwin Island has a plague? Can we pitch this show instead of that when we were talking about earlier? I feel like it's a good spin off. Benson and Jerry go to Galapagos together and fight Charles Darwin. I'm Kevin Smith. Welcome to Anti Darwin Island. It's like,

oh god, I don't know. I'm not even going to bring up that show that's island based because Max might be listening. But it's bad. There's like a man, yeah really, yes, yeah, that's the one I'm talking about. It's so it's so bad, I'm going to bleep it out because I don't I know. Max has like unrestricted access to the Internet and I don't want them finding it and spend and chooses to spend that time immersed in horrors and still yes, still

there's something too horrible, much too horrible. Um, well, so we did it. We I feel like these animals could definitely have an SCP entry. They are horrifying and they don't seem real. They kind of seem made up. But that's just what the government wants you to think, so that you know, when the war against humans from the wasps comes, they can step in and be the heroes.

That's my conspiracy theory. I would punch up the COPA pod entry a little bit if I was if I was doing SEP editing, I'd be like something, Yeah, it needs a creature redesign. But I like the concept of digging into someone's head and forming a goatee, Like I feel like that's the start of something pretty. I think I would at least say the broccoli is poison yeah, yeah, or our second organism living on it, maybe like a like a another element of conflict. Yeah. I probably wouldn't

just land on Oh what do you think? It is? So much of science is that though? Just like I don't know, what do you think? Yeah? Well, before we go, I would like to play a little game with you guys. Oh, that's fun and let's do it. It's a man I refuse, I refuse, Katie. It is called the Mystery Animal Sound game Guess Who's squawking? Every week I play a mister animal sound and you the listener, and you the guest, try to guess who's squawking. It could be any animal

in the world, anyone. This is the fartiest floor of the giant couple. How'd you guess? God? Now I have to get a different one. Han, okay, all right, all right, I gotta gotten goe. So this was last week's mystery animal sound. This was the hint. It's not a cool, refreshing Italian treat, but a lip smacking animal. Nonetheless, you share my not an Italian treat, Galan, No, you haven't even listened to the sound. How would you know? That is filthy? How dare you? Here's another one? Hello, m

Well whoever her husband is doing something right? Oh? I don't know what it is, but I feel like I shouldn't be listening to it. Well. Congratulations to Aunt b, Joey p and Ariel who all guess correctly that this is the gelata, not gelato or gelato, but the gelata. What is that. What does it look like? What is gelata is? It's abruptoli with a with a tear goat. It's a goat that likes to party almost. It's kind

of like a baboon. Okay, okay. So it is a species of Old world monkey that live in the Ethiopian highlands, and they look a lot like baboons, but they are just a close relative. They are very complex socially. They have like very like hierarchical societies, a lot of complex social interactions, and they can also smack and move their lips to manipulate sounds in a way that is extremely similar to human speech, more so than any other primate.

Congratulations gelatas. Yeah, they can make fun of us really effectively. I'm a human man, that's you. I've got marital problem because I'm a human. Oh, by the force, I don't even have flared up anal glands. Got us monkey, I have a concept of the future. It makes me sad. Oh,

it's funny, because it's true. I like to ride my bicycle. Yeah, they're constantly making fun of us, but yeah, it's it's it is uncanny when you hear them like that clip I just had you listened to it sounds like a person just kind of going like, okay, yeah, it's kind of offensive. We really got our numbers, really hurt my feelings. Well onto this week's mystery animal sound. The hint is there a frog in your mouth? Or are you just happy to see me? Hang on? The sound hasn't played,

so you can't you can't guess. Okay, it sounds like a Miss Piggy choke. I'm gonna I'm gonna guess Miss Piggy. Oh man again, I'm really sorry to Max's parents. I feel like he's gonna know what a muppet is. Eight. Oh, that's a spider party horn. All the legs make different tones. That's fun harmonica. Yeah, that's how a spider complaint while it's being paralyzed. Dauber any other guesses? You guys, are you gonna go with spider party horn? Malaysian mouth frog? Wow?

Close but no, get it? No? Close but no. It's probably the same baboon from earlier, Just like messing with us. It's actually the sound of the broccoli being stepped on. Of course, it's a giant coupa pod broccoli being squashed by a clumsy coupa pod scientist. The actual answer that's not broccoli, or is it. I'll keep you in suspense. It'll be released next week with next creature feature. Wow, I can speak good human sentence. I'm not a gelt of blah. Thank you for having us, Katie, I'm a

human bro Look at me. I'm on a podcast. I'm converting mcvin Smith. Mamma bo, I'm converting. Well, thank you guys for joining me today. Where can people find you? Rockwall, you do the plug. You can find us at You can find us at one nine hundred hotdog dot com. We are the final home of text based comedy on the Internet. That's right, We're still doing that and I guess you can't stop us because everything in the world

has tried. You can also find us on our own podcast, The Dog Zone nine thousand two g's two z's, three zeros and it's the best title in the world and we'll never take any feedback on it. Perfect plug. Nice. I think I know what would stop you some mud, dauber wasps and a plane. Wow. That's so dark, such a dark sign off. Well, thank you guys so much

for listening. Again. I apologize to Max's parents. He did request this episode and wrote it for me, so all the all the scary things in it where his fault blame him and under the bus. Thank you guys so much for listening. If you're enjoying the show and you leave a rating and review, that's great. I print them all out. I turn it into a giant keeper mache effigy of what I like to call a statue of the listener, and it's kind of human shaped, and you know,

I keep it in my house. Normal stuff. And thank you to the Space Cossacks where they're a super awesome song. Exlumina Creature features a productive iHeartRadio. For more podcasts like the one you just heard, visit the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcast, or Hey Guess what? Or have you listened to your favorite shows? See you next Wednesday. Every Birthday, Max Spider Party, Horn