Killer Cuties

animals out there who also just love to kill. We're talking about murderers with big old puppy eyes, murderers who look like cute little bunny rabbits mixed, which Huah was, and murderers who look completely inconspicuous, like something that snow white would have land on her hand and then impale her on a steak. Joining me today to talk about this is producer, director, podcast host of Shooting Threes, and my friend Jack Greenberg. Welcome, Hey, thank you for having

me talking about some cutie. Yes, we're going to talk about some cuties. The inspiration for this is that you mentioned to me that you love the blackfooted cat. I love that little murderer. Yeah, we have talked about him recently on the show, so I didn't want to do a whole episode, uh with a minute, but I do want to briefly go over, like, what do you find so appealing about the black footed cat? As if I need to ask? I mean, come on, I mean, I

mean it's obvious look at the little thing. But I've been I've been spreading the gospel about this cat before for for years now. I came out, I came across it, and I've been telling people and and and he's blown up recently, and I'm proud of him. I too, have been talking about this little guy for years. So I also feel like I like the blackfooted cat before he was cool, but no gate keeping here. I loved that now a big thing. No, no, I I think for me it was Uh. There is a picture of him

looking real angry with just mutilated bird. Oh, I love, that's my favorite one. I know exactly which photo you're talking about. He's got like a birdie stuffed right in his mouth and just in the body of a little tiny cat who's like it's a wildcat, but it's like half the size of a house cat. It's teeny tiny. It's it's it's truly like kidens yes and looking and

it's it's the cutest thing. And I think I just uh yeah, as a as a as someone on the smaller scale of humans, I just I really appreciate that, like, uh, you know, don't count these guys, right, they're athletes. Uh, they're incredibly uh savvy, and they're dangerous. But also I want one. Bridget is saying that she is dangerous and loves murder. Dangerous. Yeah, I am not to be reckoned with small people can be killers too. Don't judge a book by Yeah, I'm really sick of people discounting me

and what I'm capable of. Uh. And it's and it's extreme violence. Well, if it makes you feel better, I've always kept one eye open with you around, Bridget, like I've always thought maybe you know, yeah, like as as someone who has no business uh and yells a lot that I will fight people. Yeah, you've got a glint, You've got you've got the glint in your eye, you know, the one that the blackfooted cat has in that photo with the bird stuffed in its mouth, that sort of murderous.

But you have that. Now, I don't think you would ever murder anyone simply because I fail to see how that would benefit you know, And uh, I've truly have run away from fights that have happened for being honest, and I'd like to think I'm tough, and these these tiny cubs make me believe that I could be tough. I'm proudly a whimp. I'll just say it right there. I'm I'm just I'm absolutely The fancy way to say it is like, oh, I'm pore violence, but really I'm

a huge whimp. But it's great. Yeah, yeah, it's just when, yeah, at some point you realize there's no way that it's a good outcome for you right exactly to start it. There's no yeah, to start it, to be a part of it, to even be within like ten ft. But I'll finish it. But I'll finish it, you know, finish it by running away. I'm the kind of person. Yeah, I'm the kind of person where people are fighting near me.

Like if I'm at a concert, I will get sucked into a mosh pit by like accident, like gravity just like pulls the smallest person near it. I just have to like, I just have to like excuse myself because I'm like I'm going to get I'm going to get punched in the face, even though away my face, my face is a magnet for stray balls. Okay, that sounds bad, but I mean like like like people footballs, ping pong balls, baseballs, yeah, get hit. Yeah, you know there are people by every

single type of sports related ball. It will happen. Yeah they're there are people that are just like magnets. Uh and yeah, they're generally like unassuming five ft four women who are just like magnets for like just straight shit falling on that right right. It's like it's like, you know, like send me your errand projectiles. Yeah, and it will, Yeah, it will land on me somehow. So I got to

excuse myself. But I like that these guys, they're they're brave, they're yes, I love They're an inspiration really yeah really on my dream board. I wish to be this murder someday. So we are we are not talking about the blackfooted cat as my which as I love them. We have talked about the recently. I think I had I think the pot. The title is like when the it's about cat play. It's like when the cats play, when the mouse is away, the cats will play, and it's got

I've got a cat expert on. We talked about cats. I bring up the blackfooted cat. We talk about cat evolution. It's good stuff. Check that out if you want to hear more about the blackfooted cat. But we are talking about some equally adorable animals who also just are absolutely bloodthirsty and love killing. The first one is one of my I say this so much, but it's always true. It's one of my favorite animals. This is the car sire. Yeah, they look like aliens. They yes, they have you know,

the it's it's the eyes. I do got to say. It's the eyes. It's the eyes. It's the eyes, it's their little weird e t hands. Yes. Yeah, they're adorable aliens. I think cuter than they Yeah, especially the etz doesn't have fur, He's just got the skin. So yeah, and that was really where Steven Mr. Spielberg went wrong. But these guys they got it right. They covered themselves and fur like all animals I believe should right, I mean we should also, I think that that was an oversight

for humanity. You know, we should just be um, which makes makes it sound like I'm a furry, which no offense to furies. I am not. However, I'm not even talking about like an animal like human just Harry all over. You know what I mean, doesn't it essentially? Yeah, if only it just makes everybody more approachable. Yeah, there we go, So yes, depending on your perspective, Tarsiers are one of

the cutest or freakiest looking little animals out there. They are a family, so multiple species of little itty bitty primates owned in Indonesia, the Philippines, Malaysia, and Brunei. And yes, they got gigantic eyeballs. They have mouth like ears. Different species have different sized ears. Sometimes they're kind of little, sometimes they're actually a little bigger, but they're always sort

of like these little mouse like ears. They've got long fingers and toes those sort of their hands and their feet are sort of like not quite how we you know how primates have the sort of like hand feet thing where it's like they kind of look like human hands, kind of look almost like human feet. These are quite different, so they're they're much more primitive. But their hands, just

like you said, they're et hands. They have really long, spindly fingers, and yeah, like their knuckles are kind of bulbous, and their toes are also really long and spindly, so they kind of they actually look like frog feet. To me, they they're like a hybrid of a mouse, a frog, and a monkey with eyes the size of ping pong balls. Yeah, that did a bunch of molly. They're raging right now. And for our younger listeners, Molly is just a nice person who likes to party. It's a nice lady. It's

a nice lady, you like. So they tend to be very small. The largest species tend to grow around six inches long or fifteen centimeters, with tails that are longer than their bodies and spin leaf fingers. So that's not that big. And those are the large those are the big ones. Those are the big boys. Yeah, you got like the little there's a little furby looking one that I'm guessing it's a smaller guy. Yeah, you want to

hear about the yeah. Yeah. The smallest species of tarsier is the pigmy tars here found in Sulawesi, Indonesia, who is about four three of four inches big, which is like millimeters and weighs less than two grams. So that is like literally just a palmful. Yeah, it's like six paper clips. It's a little Yeah. I've got this picture and it's just some dude holding one of these little guys. He doesn't look particularly happy to be held. They don't

love me. Um, but yeah there's rage behind those eyes. Yeah, behind those big glassy eyes. Yeah. We'll talk more about that rage later. But like, yes, they don't like to be handled. Um, buddy is just kind of like peek it out from behind this guy's hand, go like what the hell? Man, Yeah, put me, put me down. But he's he's tiny and full of rage. Yeah, in which those are my favorite companies. I mean again telling on yourself here. So yeah, yeah, so about those huge eyeballs.

Their eyes are so large they are often bigger than their brains. Their eyeballs are bigger than their whole entire brain, like a Pixar character. I feel like that's a weird disc to Pixar, Like your character's eyes are bigger than their brains. It's like, I mean, I just think of like Baby Dory where I like saw that they got

a ratio wrong here. Yeah, that's absolutely true. Yeah, when you look at there's you know those like things where they people take popular cartoon characters and do a fake like skeleton of them, Like here's a skeleton or Pikachu or Garfield or whoever, And it always looks like really funky because the actual internal anatomy of a cartoon would look weird. Yeah, yeah, it's head would like topple it. The uh the skull of a tar sere looks made up. It does not look it looks like one of these

like look skulls. Yeah, it looks like a pokemon. It does. It's it's eye socket. It's like, so why are their eyes so disconcerting? Lee huge? So while they seem like the cutest, most harmless of the primates, they are the only living species of primate that is entirely carnivorous. Yeah, yeah, those are carnivorous, little tiny teeth. So other primates tend to be omnivorous, herbivorous, or frugivorous, frugivorous for frugivorous either anyway you want to say, you know, however, I'm feelings.

But the tar Seer family are nocturnal predators, killers who lurk in the night. So there are nocturnal predators like wildcats who do not have these are tunishly huge googly eyes. So what the heck is going on? I imagine you asking, yes, what the heck is going on? Thank you for asking, Thank you for asking. So tar sears don't have a tipetum lucidum. So the tupeedum lucidum is a reflective layer behind the retina that you see in a lot of

nocturnal or crepuscular animals. So nocturnal means you're active at night. Crepuscular means you're active at donn and dusk, so twilight. So these are animals like cats, raccoons, deer, dogs, and many more. And that's why when you look at your kitty cat at night it's got those glowing demonic eyes. Has nothing to do with their deal with Satan. It's all that tapedum lucidum that is behind the retina that is reflected. It's like a mirror, a biological mirror that

reflects light back outwards. I was just assuming that was them trying to be cuter for right, But alright, alright, try hard cats, Yeah yeah yeah. But by reflecting light, the tapetum lucinum essentially doubles the amount of light hitting the photosensitive cells on the retina, so that light hits the photosensitive cells like your rods and cones, mostly rods for night vision. Um it hits the rods going in, and then it gets reflected back out and hits them again.

So you're you're actually doubling like the amount of light you're getting in your eye just by having this reflective layer. It's really clever. Yeah, no, they just got I'm just like staring at this thing. It's the strangest looking skull I've ever seen. Right, and so for these guys, right, uh, this is how. This is how a cat is able to have eyeballs, have night vision, that reflective layer without

having huge, ping pong eyeballs. Like imagining a cat with the size of these eyeballs is kind of funny and a little scared. But but humans and primates do not have the tupedum lucidum. They don't have this. We don't have this reflective layer. So but wouldn't it be cool. It would be very cool. We could have shiny eyes in the night and like. But this is including the tarsier family. So tarsiers don't have that reflective layer so to be able to see well enough at night to

precisely locate and catch prey. Instead of this clever mirror trick, they just big old eyeballs big old eyeballs. That was just make them big, just make them, just make them big. Yeah, that's kind of have a camera lens work, so they just got like a full Yeah. Yeah, that is funny where it's like how do you get like with a telescope or camera lens, it's like how do you get get it to see better at night or distances? Is like make it bigger, make it longer, make it bigger. Yea, yeah, yeah,

that that is interesting. Like your your experience as a filmmaker, how do you have you ever shot stuff at nighttime? Yeah, they're there are cameras that are that they make that are specifically good at shooting in low light, and it kind of the sensor on the lens kind of works in a similar way where they just they technology has figured out how to make these sensors as big as possible. Yeah, exactly, And so I mean it makes it makes the camera super sensitive when you move it, you have to adjust

a lot. But yeah, yeah, it's it's the same thing. If you look at the center of the camera, it's just like a massive little mirror inside. Yeah. That's amazing. I mean I got two of them. Yeah, And that's interesting because like, yeah, so, because their eyes are so sensitive and there's just so much eyeball, a huge portion of their brain, which again is outsized by their actual eyeballs, is developed to visual processing. So they've got these brains

and a lot of it is for visual processing. You got your hardware, which is your your eyeballs, and then the software has to process all that data. Uh and actually, yeah, they got such tiny little skull brains. I know where does that brain fit in there? I don't I don't even know where. It's a little brain, big guys, little brain. God, that's the life, isn't it? Just big old eyes but tiny little brains heavenly taking everything. Don't think about any

of it? Right? That sounds exactly horrifying, But yeah, so, So in their eyeballs, like I mentioned earlier, rods, We have rods and cones. So those are the generally the two types of photosensitive cells in our retina's um. Rods do not do much in terms of seeing color. They are really good though, in low light conditions at picking up on very dim light. So the tar sears don't see much in terms of color. Their vision is optimized for nighttime seeing, and so they can pick up on

their prey. Also fun fact they can move their heads a hundred and eighty degrees in either direction, allowing them three sixty degree vision. Whoa okay, twist and they're like they have owl next. Yeah, yeah, so's they got bend necks. They got bendy necks. They're creepy, little bloodthirsty goblins. I love them. Oh my god, that would be so to just watch one of these things with these big just slowly one eight at you. Yeah, show those those crazy

predator teeth. That would make The Exorcist like way cuter, just like I wanna. Yeah, I'm going to remake it with these guys. You, your mother, your other sex butts in hell. Yeah, I'd be okay if they If one of these guys told me that, Yeah, if one of these guys was like a little demon, I'm I'm you know what, alright, it sign me up for demons. If these are what demons are, So that's what they are.

The Tar series hunting strategy is to stay as still as possible, staring into the night, watching for the movement of prey, listening with their big ears there independently moving ears, trying to pinpoint where their little prey is rustling, staring with their huge eyes, standing still as a statue until they pounce on their victim from over six feet away or two meters. They are incredible leapers as well. There's legs,

very springy. So just like this, I mean, we think they're cute, but if you're like a little a little guy sharing their territory, someone who would be their prey, it's just this huge eyed goblin that's like this gargoyle doesn't move and swivel its head like basically three sixty degrees and then as soon as it spots you literally like flings itself at you. That's truly gargoyles. Yeah, they're just like perched in a tree waiting. Still. I love gargoyles.

I've gotten the opportunity to see some like gargoyles at like old churches, and they're they're such they're they're not really actually scary. Usually they're usually super goofy, they're goose, and yeah, I for some reason I was thinking about gargoyles, and I was like, what a strange thing we've done to protect our buildings. Not a strange made up but I guess we didn't these guys are truly tiny gargoyles.

Look at even their ears are grimlin stuff. Yeah. So they mostly eat insects or arthropods, so like spiders, insects, anything, but they will also make a snack out of bats, birds, snakes, and lizards. Whoa So I mean, because I was wondering, I was like, they you know, they're the size of a small rat. It's not like they can like, oh so they'll they'll take something down their own size big Yeah, anything,

anything just slightly smaller than them, they will. If they can pounce on it and fit it in their mouth, then it's it's food. Then good for them, Yes, good for them. These are real you know, like boss boss bays taking control of the situation. You know, you're little, but you can still you know, massacre even smaller animals. Yeah. Yeah, so it's just like a stealth attack. They just like jump off these things and start shredding, crunching, big crunch, Yeah,

I mean it is. It is inspirational, right, no matter how small you are, there's always someone smaller you can fit in your mouth and just crunch down on It's it's it's good to know it's good. So it's good today or even your own sash pick on people their own side. You know, if you can do it, if you can get if you can get a biden, you can get a biden. You know what I mean. Anything is food. They can't be much bigger than the birds

that they're taking down, some of them. I mean, like I think, yeah, I think generally speaking, they would take down smaller birds. Um like you know they're they're I mean, because they are out there are small birds, you know, and I think like in a lot of bird masks sometimes it's just feathers, so like you get sort of you know, you can get right. So the tarsiers themselves are quite small, and they are prey two larger predators. However, they will not go down without a fight. Some species

of tarsiers formed these small family groups. But then when they're threatened, they will join with other family groups to ward off the predators. So they will join forces and all shriek and scream and like try to drive away predators. It's fantastic, that's incredible. I was hoping they would become like a little tarsier transformer kind of like create a big yeah, just like pile off top become a big one. To fight. But that's cool too. No shrieking is all

tarsier shape of bigger tarsier. Just fight together. Yeah, just like little falling off as they get punched by like the other animal. But I love the teamwork. Yeah, teeth made out of ever smaller tar series. Yeah no, it's wonderful. Teamwork makes the dream work. Ye so earlier, Like I mentioned that they do not like to be handled. These are I feel like for anyone who's like an introvert, these guys are truly like you know, kindred spirits, So

they are so specifically adapted for their environment. They absolutely cannot survive or be bred in captivity. Uh. Their eyes and ears are so sensitive, they don't tolerate light, loud sounds, and they hate being handled. Uh. In captivity, they will sometimes throw themselves against the walls of their enclosure and distress, which can be fatal. So, like, you know, leave them alone, leave them alone. They're good on their own. They can handle themselves. I do. It's hard not to pick them up.

I know they are adorable, but just know when you pick them up, they are they want to murder you if they if they could murder you in that moment, they would do it without hesitation. Like we joke about that with cats, but it's not really true. Like our house cats. It's like, ah, you want to murder me, but not really. They like you. They want to have the food you give them. They like the cuddles. These

little guys. I'm a hundred percent confident if we could get in their brains and they see you coming at them trying to cuddle them, making a kissy face, they're like thinking, like, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, murder, attack your face. They don't Yeah, they don't need you to give them food. They love the hunt, they love the Yes, they thrive on it. They just they just love killing.

It's fun. Yeah, and that's all they need. Leave them alone in the jungle to kill right exactly and their best life murdering snakes hashtag blessed, hashtag murder life, hashtag tiny gremlins. Onto another murderous cutie bridget. The world is full of the cutest animals who love to kill stuff. So I want to talk about one of the cutest foxes in the world, the Finnic fox. Now, these guys, these guys are I think these are relatively well known.

Probably if you're a listener, you've seen one of these guys. So these are the little foxes, kind of like sandy colored with the big old ears. So they are found in the deserts of northern Africa. They are the smallest of the Canads, Canaids being a family that includes dogs, wolves, jackals, and foxes, so smallest fox, smallest Canad. They're little, teeny

tiny guys. So they grow to be around fifteen inches long or forty centimeters not including their tail, and way around two to four pounds, so one or two kims, little little babies. It's all ears. Yeah. Yeah, their ears are actually bigger than their heads. Sometimes they're like half the size of their bodies. They look like fluffy Chiwalla bunnies. Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. I don't know

how they hold these guys out, but it's cute. They have the largest ear to body ratio of any canad, so uh they are. It just makes what is it about big old ears that is so cute? I you know, I don't know. You you wouldn't think it, but like, I don't know, these guys are really working it in particular, really do with their cute little foxy face. Uh, it works,

it just works, it off. It's a good fit. And yeah, so like they have um these also little fuzzy tufted footsies, tootsies, little people that protect their blue paws from the hot desert sand. Just like just absolute cuteness. Yeah, I they are. It's like you don't remember the Avatar animal this series, Not the Blue Blue People Avatar, but the yeah you know, yeah, the Airbender Avatar. They had that little that little thing Momo with a huge ears kind of like I don't know,

kind of similar vibes, not quite. I guess Momo was more of a lemur thing. But these got just the big the big ears are so big ears and on and on any pet. The ears are one of my favorite things to play. Yes, yes, uh, and I think that's what it is. I bet they're real soft. You should probably shouldn't touch them, but I bet they have the softest ear I would imagine, yes, yeah, my dog, like I really yeah, get getting the scratches on my dog ear my dog's ears. It's like these ears are

just like little cuddle zones. I love them. I love them. I wonder what these guys look like wet well, I can tell you bridget they should not get what they would hate it because yeah, they live in a desert. They do not love water. They don't swim really, they do not want to really be around bodies of water. In fact, they don't even really need to drink that much water. Most of the hydration they get is from the juices of their victims, so they love killing. They

will eat small mammals, lizards, birds, get gos. But they'll also eat eggs. They'll even eat root vegetables, so they're quasi omnivorous. But they but they absolutely love to kill stuff. Um but yeah, because water is so scarce in their desert environment, they all most of their hydration comes from the blood and the guts of the things they kill. Yeh, good for them, Just straight lizard gatorade, right, yeah, cool

and refreshing. Can you imagine like a little coach one of these fedix foxes as a coach and then like wins the game and they just put dump a big, like frothy thing of like lizard guts on lizards. Yeah, alright, let's take a break. Everyone gets some lizard guts, So let's let's go back to those ears for a minute, though, those what are those massive ears doing? Are they flying around like planes? I wish so ears actually served two functions.

One is to actually keep them cool in the desert heat, and the other is to stock and locate victims no matter where they try to hide. So the obvious use of these ears is being sensitive to hearing prey. So they can hear arthropods or rodents moving under the sand, like buried under the sand, and once they've pinpointed their prey, they will find exactly where they are under that stand rapid you dig them up and then before they've known it,

it's it's a murder. I would love to watch it dig I bet it's really cute watching them just digging the sand, uh, for murdering purposes. But it was a little pause, just like here I go, I'm gonna murder. That would drive me crazy. Like imagine hearing everything moving underneath the ground. It's good for them, but like if it's I think even if it's all food, like imagine being like full and being like still here, I mean

my food moving. That's the thing though, when you're in this, when you're a little guy, you gotta wrapid metabolism and you live in this desert environment, like you, you were always hungry, always hungry for murder. So yeah, yeah, so they be paranoid. So yeah, but yeah, imagine if you could hear, like just to hear a burger scuttle around

and you're like, I'm gonna get that burger. Yeah. So, large ears also means a large surface area where blood vessels can spread out and meet the air, which cools down the blood as it circulates into the body, so it's actually a built in blood conditioner. This is a common technique that animals will use to cool down in hot environments. So like Gerboa's, which are adorable little like mice. They look like little mice that have like kangaroo legs

and giant ears. They're so cute. African hairs also have just gigantic ears. And even when you think about it, elephants like those big ears. In addition to being able to kind of fan them around, like, that surface area allows the blood to cool and get recirculated back into the elephants, so it helps keep them cool. That is so yeah. I mean, it never fails to like amaze me how smart evolution is and the body is and

like these little tricks. Um, it's like all improv babies play, like what if we made Yeah, what if we just like really stretched out the ears so they can feel the breeze. Yeah, it's it's not even that though. You just get a you get a dumbo born one generation and then like dumbos like huh, I feel actually really good, really cool, and he makes more dumbos and the ladies. Yeah, I mean it makes Yeah, I mean it makes sense because like I guess, like when you're hot and you're

just like starfish in bed spread out. Yes, these guys are smart. Ears. Squirrels do that sometimes too, to like dissipate heat, like where they kind of spread out, and it's yeah, I've seen. It's got an actual name. You want to know what it is? What is it called spouting? No way? Yeah, I remember the Yeah. The first time I was amazed. I I saw a squirrel just like fully lying on the top of a park bench in the middle of the summer, and it was the first time I had ever seen anything like that, and I

was like, are you okay, little buddy. He's like, just own business. Just sluten leave melt, leave me alone. Splutin off. I can't believe that that really feels like something the Internet came up with it, so wild gluten ears so Fannick foxes are also pretty cute in their social lives. They live in family groups in the den uh and that is adorable. They do actually hunt alone though, like

when when they're out murdering, they do it on their own. Um, they don't want their family to see it, right, you're too young to see this, junior and then just ripping the head off of something. But you know, they actually will take on prey larger than themselves. They are that for the dedicated to the cause of murdering things. So they will sometimes like pick out a rabbit and rabbits can actually be larger than them. These like hairs will be bigger than the Finnic fox and they're like, I

could eat it. I could do that. That's that's a family dinner. That's that's smart. They know a rabbit probably doesn't have like can't hurt them. It's bigger than them, but it probably can't hurt them. Well, it's not necessarily true, though, rabbits and hairs will viciously fight back if they can, like they have massive hind legs that can really like actually shred and tear. Um. So like they are just

they will defend themselves. I just had an image, yeah, fair, I just had an image of like a rabbit trying to like back kick one of these things, just like flying through the air. Yeah, so truly, Like it sounds like fighting a rabbit. That's like that's punching down. But I could fight a rabbit a rabbit. I can fight a rabbit two rabbits. Yeah, But you know I love the toughness, Yes, I love I Yeah, I love that

size doesn't matter that there. Yeah, these are tough little guys. Yeah, they've got like they've got like big big guy energy, but in a little guy. And that's what we love to say, that's what we love. So unfortunately, because they are so cute, people do try to keep them as pets. Um. Yeah, so I get it. I definitely sympathize with wanting one of these as a pet because, like I mean, cute, so cute. Look at it, look at it. It's so cute. I want to want I don't know, I want to

scratch its little ears. I want to carry it around the house making airplane noises, going you're like, but I don't do that with why the animals. Let me present to you just a case against keeping them as pets. Here's a few reasons. First one is they smell like Satan's butthole. They're peace highly highly potent. They have very stinky concentrated urine because they use that in the wild

to mark their territory. And in addition, and also they're not drinking a lot of water, right, it's very concentrated, very stinky. Good point. Also, they like to roll around in their own piss, so you also we mentioned earlier they don't like water, so they roll around in their own piss. And it's really not recommended that you give them baths because they get very stressed out. So you're gonna have like this piss covered reeking animal who if you try to bathe can give them like a panic

attack and can be dangerous. So like, ah, yeah, it's not a great situation. It's like a newborn baby, I imagine, slightly less hard than a newborn baby. Yes, so they are not demn yes yeah um, and hopefully your newborn baby is not rolling around in its own piss for very long h Yeah, it seems unavoidable at a certain age. But right right on this show, we're strongly anti child neglect. So yeah, the Finnic foxes are not domesticated. They love hunting.

They have an omnivorous diet that is very difficult to replicate um dogs and cats. Like you may be thinking, like, well,

they're carnivores. Well, they have lived with us for thousands and thousands of years to the point where their metabolism has evolved to be able to eat much more of our human food such that we can make these like kibble formulations, like we've figured out the diet for well maybe not a percent figured out, but like, uh, you know, dogs, for instance, have gained the ability to digest grain, which their ancestors lacked, so and they can have a little

piece as a treat. They can have a little piece of salami, but only as a treat, and they can you know, they can eat some grain. They are still they still require meat and proteins. Same with cats, like cats need meat and protein, but dogs especially have developed the ability to digest more grain than their ancestors. Cats are a little less. Cats didn't really change that much in terms of their dietary needs compared to the untapable,

but dogs definitely have. Uh. Finnic foxes have not been domesticated at all, so they're metabolism has not adapted to any aspect of a human diet. So you need to feed it live insects, live rodents. Uh. You also need to do like vegetables. I've like looked at like some of these things where like people recommend you feed them live baby birds. First of all, I don't know how you source that. I don't know where you get them. Um, yeah,

you gotta trapper and also blood everywhere, but everywhere. Again they love murdering. Um, so yeah, you wouldn't have to be cool with like having your pet like do a murder spree every day and like with a side of salad. Like that's like that's what your diet is, with a nice little yeah, with a nice little house salad. Right, I'll have the grotesque murder rip a baby bird's head clean off its shoulders. Um, and like could I could

I get some rugula just on the side, right? I I just imagine like these people like they're like, oh, I gotta leave my house for two hours a day, said a little bird free in my house? Leave for two hours come back to crime scene, right right. I don't ask questions. I just let it happen. Yeah, I just let a bird loosen my house and see what happens. Also, if you have one of these guys, you should really fill your house with sand. Uh. They love burrowing, I

love scrap digging up sand. So really, to give it its best life, you would want to fill room with sand, put some live insects in there, maybe some scorpions, baby birds, tubers, lamps. Yes, and deal with an animal that smells like super piss poops in the house and who screams constantly like this is what they sound like. Oh wow, so imagine that, don't. Yeah, leave these guys alone. The potent odor of the pungent and potent odor of piss, rewear, dead animals, poop um.

Not a pet, I'm gonna that's my verdict. Not no, not a pet. Looks like a pet. Not a pet. Not a pet, which is which is the hardest thing for people to wrap their head around. Hard. I get it. I want to. I get it too. I want to. I want to, I really want to cuddle it. Yet I want to give one of these guys a nice poop, right like I want to dress in little sweaters and called Benjamin and be like, come on, come, Benjamin, we we must go to the market for your fresh baby birds.

They definitely are the kind of like pet where they don't you know, if it's names Chris, it goes by Christopher. They go by the full Yeah, they go by the full name. They're distinguished. Imagine it in a bow type but don't. Yeah, well you can imagine. I'm not gonna you can imagine it, just just yeah, imagine it. Don't put it in a bow tie. I'm not the tyrant

of your imagination. I encourage you to imagine it in a time, but if you try to make that a reality, it's gonna be you know, kind of imagine you'll lose a finger. Yeah, and apparently their teeth are super super sharp. They're like little razors, so like you know how like puppy teeth are actually weirdly sharper than Yeah, it's like that, but even worse. So like they there bots are apparently very bloody and painful. So you know, let's just let's

seems like a bad pete. Yeah, let's have like an imaginary one as our pet, like and imagine it and put a little bit of stuffed animal. Yeah, look at some pictures and get a stuff. Imagine the smell of concentrated, dehydrated piss like in your in your mind. Oh, you can tell. These guys look like stinky, little stinkers. They're a little stink guys and they love it. You can tell they love it, the little around in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you just gotta let them be them. We gotta see them.

They're so I'm assuming their ears like moved back and forth and they don't really like down. Yeah, they don't get Yeah. Yeah, it's the full it's it's it's the full range of cute and horrible grimlin goblin mode. Like yeah, absolutely definition of goblin mode. It would kill me to see them have like sad, floppy ears, you know. Well, yeah, I saw I saw a video of one getting bathed and it had like its ears were like pinned back and it looked miserable, and it's like, don't bathem little

be stinky. He doesn't bathe them wild if you like, that's the thing. If you're going to get one of these as a pet, you've got to commit to the stinky lifestyle. The goblin mode you got to commit to stink life. Yeah, and you're also gonna stinky. You're gonna smell like your house is gonna smell. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I I don't you know, these guys can commit distinct life. I don't think humans should, right, right, But if like again, like you, you will smell like

piss and you should accept that. Yeah, what a good message. Yeah, leave these guys alone, m smell like yeah, yeah, let him smell like piss. Let them let them fight bigger animals. Uh and and and stay in their families and screen and like juice box a lizard, suck a lizard up like yeah, yeah, exactly, just full caprice, crush it like a gatorade bottle and wease all those guts in there. I love them, I love I love its little tail, and it's big ears and it's cute little nose. Bridget.

We are onto perhaps the most Stevia say animal in the world. It is. Yeah, what a little ball. Yeah. I think I may have talked about these dudes on the show before, but let's talk about them again because it's been quite a while, and holy moly, they're the most insidious, demented Jigsaw killer level murderers out there, and they are adorable. So the sweet little birdie bird, can you describe it, Bridget, Yeah, I mean I can kind of tell there's some evil behind those eyes. Um and

and uh yeah, it's it's like a pigeon. But if a pigeon was like a cute little ball, tiny little ball pigeon with a very erroow dynamic looking tail, which I imagine helps them. But the thing, they're very cute, They're tiny. It's like a little bird ball, a little bird ball. But I immediately do not trust it because and I have a I have a feeling this is going to come up. It does have a beak that

comes around, uh into like a very sharp point. Uh and that Yeah, it has like this weird little curved beak, the tiniest all curved beak you've ever seen. Maybe that's just for like, maybe that's just for punching a hole in your compute son, you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, it's just yeah, it's just for snacks, just for snacks, just just for tearing open like a cutie orange, which is about the same size and shape of this guy.

So these are shrikes. So shrikes are a family of medium to small birds who are mainly found in Africa and Eurasia, although there are also a couple of species found in North America, including the loggerhead and northern shrike. And I think most of these pictures I've shown you are the longer head shrike, so they are to look familiar to me. But also yeah, also yeah, birds can be hard to identify for me that not a birder and wild, but I mean I've done birding and it's hard,

even like some experience, it's difficult. So they are typically gray brown and white in coloration with a black beak, and they've got a little bandit mask over their eyes. They've got the racing, so you know, that's kind of what makes yeah, you know they're up to something, these little zoros Like it's uh, you know it is. I feel like it's a weird kind of stereotyping with the bandit mask, but it's like almost always like in nature when you got someone with a bandit masks, like you're

up to something, because raccoons are all that stuff. Yeah you're yeah, your eyes are dark. I don't I can't fully trust you, but it is it's a cool look. It's very cute. I mean it's sleek. It's these guys are sleek as hell. I like their tails. Yeah, they look like they're fast, they look like they can dive. They look like a little crime and I do like that,

they really do. Yeah. Yeah that that first picture you have, it looks like a little tony soprano bird, which which you think you think you you come to come to my Egg's wedding and you you don't even don't you don't bring a Google Google Gobba. We'll work on that one. Yeah. Did you know that um is actually from Capacola and it got bastardized into Gobba goo? Yeah, yeah it is. Yeah, it's the same meat. It's Capacola. It's just like yeah, it's just like slang or it was like Italian slang

for Capacola. Well, it's like which is one of our best words, right because in southern Italy um capitul, like people sometimes drop the last vowel in words. So Capacola turned into capacol somehow like got like from the transatlantic trip from Italy to the US, like it turned into like Gabba Google or something, and it's like became like Gabba goole which is one of our best words. So it really is in this great melting pots definitely look

like they're complaining about gabba gool um. Yeah and do uh yeah, there's there's a line and I in a toy story three, I want to say where Miss potato Head is packing up Mr potato Head for a trip, and she says, I'm packing your angry eyes just in case. And these guys definitely have their angry eyes. That's right. Yes, despite looking just like this little bird that is also perhaps as mischievous, they are known as the butcher bird for good reason. So shrikes are carnivores. They love meat.

They not only love to eat meat, they love collecting meat and saving it for later. So how do you do that when you don't have a fridge or a pantry. Well ya, shish kebab your victims on spikes? So what? Oh wow, their little psychopaths. Yes, so they will catch insects, reptiles, small mammals, and even other birds and impale them on spikes wherever they can find spikes, so that could be thorn, branches or even man made structures like barbed wire. Wow,

they have like little meat lockers. They're like their leather face essentially, yeah, killers. Yes, so some species do make sure to kill their ms before impaling them, such as the loggerhead strike, and they will grab their victim by the neck inflict a precise bite to the neck, paralyzing them. And once they're victim has gone limped with the praise neck still in their beaks, they will shake them violently until their next snaps. And these strikes these little birds

subject them to a g force similar to a roller coaster. Wow. Horrified, Yeah, also methodical, but also violent. Yeah, I guess I respected. I'm terrified. Yeah, this tiny bird, Yes, that's cute, tiny bird that I want to hold in my hand right now. I really don't. I feel like I would be very like I would if they were like a crime boss, despite them being this little and small, I'd be like, yeah, whatever you say, boss, Like I would respect them. Oh yeah, no,

even more now. The Tony Soprano of birds right exactly, you know, like you gotta make a quick you got yeah, you can got a bow right in the neck. And and much like Tony Soprano, there's something lovable about it, but also you know there's an inherent evil they Yeah, they will kill you if you present them with a complication. Yeah, in a pretty violent way. Complication is such as being

around when they are hungry. Right, So, uh, then once they have killed their prey dead in this horribly violent way, they will impale them on a spike. So the use of this like meat locker um helps them eat larger prey by like methodically stripping bits of flesh off them, and also to save the food for later if they're like, you know, not so hungry anymore, just like you know, leftovers. And it's like a half eaten freaking lizard on a spike with its face just in. It's locked in to

what it looked like when it was violently assaulted. It's good stuff. Uh. And the doc I sent you I said, don't scroll down, but now you can absolutely scroll down now because you know, yeah, I've got pictures of this business. And it's it's oh yeah, uh oh my god. Oh this is horrifying. This is gruesome. This is a crime scene.

These are crime scene photos. It's like from Hannibal. Yeah, it looks premeditated, I mean it is yeah, yeah, wow, oh this is uh yeah, this is these are these are some violent pictures of the small rodents and other birds, which is just like yeah, just through the head. Yeah like that. I think it's like a I think it's some kind of mouth or rat and the spike is going just right through the right through this. Yeah, they

really uh, I especially this one, the first one. I how they angled it to impale it and like they're doing art now. They're like they're it's like an arrangement, you know, like edible bouquets arranged food. But it's like that, but like, hey, check out how I've art now, so I'm going to skelet tonight. Is It's also like I understand they're the branches can be the sharp, but it

feels like they had to sharpen some of these. I mean this is like they usually pick out really thorny trees like these are that one that's like a thorn? So that that is sharp? Yeah? That that's yeah, Like I don't know, definitely, I don't know of them actually like sharpening branches. They tend to just like to use the available spiky things. That's why they they will absolutely use barbed wire and just like yeah, the barbed that one. Uh.

And maybe it's just this type of that looks barbecued. Yeah, so, I mean it's a horned lizard, so it already looks kind of dried out. Um, but yeah, I mean it could have been there for a few days and for a while to become a file a little bit. Actually, you know, they will do food preparation, so like they they will take something that is normally toxic, like a toxic insects such as the lubber grasshopper, that if they

ate it immediately it would make them sick. So they will impale these grasshoppers, leave them dead and impaled for around three days while the toxin degrades, and then eat them once they're ripe, essentially once the toxin has degraded enough during the decomposition, and then like eat them and they're safe then. So yeah, it's like kind of a yeah, it's like, oh, you know, like letting your wine age,

except it's a dead grasshopper. Yeah, dead poisonous grasshopper. Do they like I have to feel like their food gets poached a lot, or do they like hang out they protect it. I mean, yeah, it's an interesting question, I think because they're like high up in like usually these thorny things are sort of like high up so like

a typical predator isn't gonna be up there. Um it maybe get poached by other like predatory birds or other strikes potentially, Um, but yeah, I mean I think they will eat it's they will like once they've killed it, they will eat it like uh immediately. They will eat as much as they want until they're full, and then like they'll stop eating, go go off do their business

and then come back. And I'm sure sometimes it gets poached, but you know, yeah, but I but you don't want to mess with these You don't want to coach one of these guys. Yeah, like you don't want to go have your head on a spice. Literally, it's it's it's

truly a crime scene. Yeah. Yeah. And it's funny because they will impale anything they catch, so like from a little bee, which there's something cute and sad about that, just like this bee that they've been paled um or to like a large rodent or even a bird nearly their own sides. Like they will take on birds that are almost like the same size as them and like thrash the um and then it's just it's just it's it's incredible, like just they are they are the hannibal

Hannibals of of the bird world. Yeah, these guys are maybe the scariest. They they're I saved them most terrifying for last, because yeah, they they're. I mean it is like it's like hell. It's like things and paled on spikes. These are hell birds and they just look so proud of their killing too, just like yeah, I did it. They're not. They're not even like trying to shirk responsibility, like yeah, I did it, I did this, I did this.

Mess with me. It's like if O. J. Simpson had written a book that said I did it instead of if I did Yeah, and with him on the cover next to his right, like next to the order scene. Yeah, this is yeah. These are yeah, truly crime scene photos. It really is. I've got them in the show notes, you know. It's like check them out, check them out if you want. Like, they're not I don't find I don't find their gory, but I think just emotionally there it's the punch is not the gore. It's not really good.

It's just shocking. It's the emotional gut punch of seeing this bird proudly standing next to like one of them is European robin, which is one of my favorite birds. I think they're the cutest birds in the world. It's just this poor little European robin impaled on a spike with this like innocent looking bird just being like, yeah I did that. That was me. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna eat it. I'm gonna eat half of it now and save half of it for later later. Yeah. No, there's yeah,

they're smart, uh they ration you know. Yeah, no, yeah, it's not a it's not a gor thing. It's just it's shocking to see in the animal king to Yeah, it's it's something that seems so premeditated. Yeah, yeah, Like you know, I feel maybe because you know, I feel like our culture has a somewhat unhealthy obsession with true crime these days, like the whole Thomber obsession, and it's a little bit it's a little ghosh, it's a little unhealthy.

So maybe we could just educate ourselves about nature and then get our sick kicks that way, because there's a lot of serial killers. Yeah, it seems like it, and like in like in real life, the last people you would expect, Yes, exactly. You know, I couldn't have said it better myself, bridget um, which is why again I'm always keeping one open around you, because like you look very innocent, sweet, right, but there's something, you know, there's

something behind the eyes of all. Yeah, exactly, I'm gonna group myself in with them adorable little sweeties. I have seen you like at because we used to work together and there was like a shoot and I remember like you would put up signs like be quiet in this hallway and people would walk on, walk on by, having

loud conversations. And here comes Bridget again, like she's like the tarsier of the human world, you know, like it looks very sweet, very innocent, and then just like destroys these people literally drift their head off, you know, and pale them onto bikes. Yeah, if you're talking on one of my sets, uh, you know, it goes quiet pretty quickly out of the room and then everything is silent, right,

you know, head and pale. It happened, hey, yeah, yeah, send a p a to clean it up, right, save it for later, yeah, shave it for for for for the for the craft table. Yeah, just just a bunch of little birds. Well, Bridget, Before we go, we have to switch gears and play a little game I like to call guess who's squawking? The mry animal sound game. Every week I play a mry animal sound and you the listener, and you the guests. So are you ready to do it? Are you ready? So? Last week's mr

Animal sound hint was this? This alarm call is no laughing matter. Wow, that sounds like a Is it a rubber duck? That's that's right, it's a it's a literal rubber duck. It's a it's a rubber ducky gig, give me, give me the hint one more time. This alarm call is no laughing matter. Laughing matter makes me want to say hyena. But that definitely sounds like some sort of bird that noise comes out of a beak I want

to imagine. Um uh oh man, this is another another just like wrong guess, but I'm gonna go with some sort of loon. Interesting it is a wrong guess. I appreciate it. Nonethe last, but this is the alarm call of a lama. It's a lama. You got lama. You got lama, fredge you got the I mean, I have never trusted lamas. Uh, They're tricky. That truly sounds like it comes out of a beak, it does it does? Or a horn. It's it's an odd Yeah, it's an odd yeah sound but yeah, I guess lamas squeak or

squawk orrel Yeah. So. Lamas are social animals, and they live with a herd in the wild and in captivity.

They will consider those who live with them as part of their herd, regardless of species, So similar to donkeys, they can be used as livestock guards who will issue alarm calls and attack predators who try to attack it's herd, which could be a group of sheep or other livestock that the lama has now adopted and believes it must protect with the incredible alarm call and with a righteous aggression. I love llamas as like old timey centuries bodyguard century guards.

Yeah yeah, yeah, they're lovely. I love them. Yeah, they're They're a strange animal and that seems like a good job for them. Yes, onto this week's Mr Animals. Sound here is the hint. As a fellow introverted redhead, I sympathize with sometimes wanting personal space. He alright, Bridget, can you guess who's squawking? And if you gives correctly. I'm gonna have to bleep you out so everyone else can have a chance, but people will know if you got

it right. I feel like that's right. You are absolutely correct. Yes, Ah that feels good, but it does. I'll quack you out, but everyone for the record, Bridget has givest it correctly, and don't you forget it. Don't you forget it, or she's gonna impale you on a spike on a spike. Yeah that's yeah, that's also the way of Bridgets. Not not in this podcast, but yes, so very good gifts. Bridget. Thank you so much for being on the show today. Where can people find you? Ah, thanks so much for

having me. It's so fun to talk about animals. I love them. Uh, you guys can find me on the Small Beans network. I have a couple of different podcasts there, as Katie mentioned, shooting threes right now where me and Sarah Griffith are going over movie trilogies. Rough stuff will be back soon. Uh, and you know, whenever Fast and Furious comes out, we're gonna be talking about that. And uh, you can you can keep up to date with all the the movie stuff, producing, writing, directing stuff. I've been

doing over on Twitter at bridget tweets for you know. However, long still kicking. I'm curious about the New Past and Furious because like I think they were filming it here actually in turn and like parts of it. Probably they're gonna say it's Rome or something, which sucks because like, come on, um, but yeah, there was like a helicopter

going around, like making it impossible to podcast where. Yeah, when you're in the vicinity of a fast and furious movie shooting, you know it, and it disrupted disturb everything. It's very disruptive, but for for good costs. So I'm looking forward to that. Yeah, you'll see Katie like poking out a window, like shaking her fist on what's the matter with you? Yeah? Uh yeah, Well, thank you so much for joining me today, and hey, thank you for

listening to the podcast. You're ears are doing great work there. I appreciate it. Uh. If you're enjoying the show and you leave a rating or review, I deeply appreciated it. I literally read every single review and they mean a lot to me. I really appreciate getting that feedback. And again, like if you think you know who's squawking or you got a question you can heal me. Email me at Creature feature pod at gmail dot com, and make so much to the Space Classics for their super awesome song

Exo Lumina. Creature features a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts like the one you just heard, visit the I heart Radio app Apple Podcasts, or Hey guess what? Where have you listen to your favorite shows? I don't judge you. Come on, come on, It's fine wherever. See you next Wednesday.