Fact or Fishion?

From deep sea War of the World's Aliens to long ducks to kissing carp We're taking on the internet rumors and separating fact from fishing fiction fishing discover this more as we answer the age old question, are ravens jerks are just a little cow? Callus how never, I'm sorry. Joining me today to debunk some junk are the hosts of the dog podcast Dog His Own nine thousand, Robert Brockway and Sean Baby. Yeah. Hey, thanks for having us. Yeah,

Welcome Sunday Sunday Sunday then Dogs Zone. Um. When we were on our friend Alex Schmitty's podcast, I wrote him a theme song and I I did the same for you if you'd like it. Oh, yes, Okay, it goes like this. You gotta indulge me. Um okay, I feel of breath on my face about it close to me. I can't look in her eyes. She's out of my league. Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs, creature feature, an original composition, you do? Oh the Estate

of Patrick Swayze twenty three dollars, and I don't. I like to think myself as the weird al of animal science. Yeah, I knew it would be come time to pay the piper at some point, specifically to get you sued. Yeah, well, you know, Swazie and I we have some unfinished business already. But I appreciate that. That's a great theme song. When I went on your podcast and the Dog Zone, you know what I mean. You're you guys made me play

a game. It's true, You're you're twisted little game where I guessed whether comic book heroes and villains were real or not. And it was based on your specialty. Though yeah, it was based on the animals. Didn't really help me any. So you're in. Now you're in. You're in my territory, and I want you guys to play. My little game is based on art specialties. Yeah, is it about karate? And nope? It is just revenge? Really? Uh so you know, okay, joy,

that is Broadway specialty. Yeah, I mean you're targeting me, right, I love revenge. Let's go. It doesn't even matter that it's at me. I'm a forgiveness man. Forgiveness man for many generations, punk total total for three generations, forgiveness man for six Oh just a note, you guys swear words. It's fine. I just when I'm editing it, I quack it out and put like a little duck quack over it. Okay, that sounds adorable. I swear as much as possible. No,

please don't. I'll just say quack instead of the total quack for three generations. We just take the whole things on the top. Everybody reset, We'll do the whole thing. No, no, don't quack yourself. Oh my god, we've we literally haven't started, and you're already tired of our outrageousness. And you have to put a penny in the swear jar. All right, just down to a penny these all right? I can

afford that that is Those are promising rights. Yeah, so you guys, I have provided you with a document, and inside of this document there are pictures of animals or even moving pictures of animals. And I will ask you a question, and I want you guys to really think

about it. Don't google, don't cheat, don't look at the encyclopedia that you have next to you, and just try to use your intuition to guess whether or not these things are real animals, a hoax, or somewhere in between, which is definitely the case for some of these things. So the first one is this very spooky video of what appears to be a deep sea alien. So could you, fellas describe what you're seeing here? Sure, sort of like a like a squid with sort of dangly human puppet

let eggs. And then very very long like war the World's alien, like very Independence Day. Bad guy vibe to that area, and he's kind of taper off like like a total quack, Like he's got total quack legs, uh, just whispy useless things drifting around in the depths of the ocean trying to figure out I'm just gonna spend the whole time trying to figure out which swear you're intending.

He looks like he's embarrassed to be himself. If I'm being honest, like whatever deep sub found him, He's like, oh no, I wasn't ready to be photographed, like Caulu night vision esque. He's like seven million years of evolution away from being ready to be photographed. This thing is a mess. Yeah, it needs some work. So yeah, it basically looks like a weird War of the World's thing. This like almost like a virus, Uh, close up of a virus, but like elongated into real life like a

giant virus. Yeah. If I had an estimated size with no like context clues or atmospheric perspective, I'd say, like three, this thing looks like it's just long for for miles. It's got squid stilts. Yeah, it looks it looks building sized. But what do you guys think? Is this a hoax? Is it real? Is it embellished truth? What's going on here? Is it aliens? It's got super hoaxy camera work? Uh? And then what does he zip off? Is am I led to believe? He zips off at the speed of Yeah,

this is fake? I think the camera zips away and uh, I'm I'm already cheating just with my massive brain. This is the Big Finn squid, right, and they this was from the deep so oil rig that's right, Yes, I wrote, I wrote, I wrote about this. I told you to leave your brain there. I try, but it haunts me. But yes, so I'm sorry Sean. It is not a hoax. And congratulations Wing dominated right out the gate. So we've got one point for Robert negative two points for Sean. Yes, badly,

badly you guessed. Yeah, this is the Big Finn squid or Magna Pinas squid. They are an exceedingly rarely spotted squid. In fact, we've never actually collected a specimen of the squid. Only larvae and juveniles have actually been studied. Adult sightings have been reported, but no adult specimen has ever been collected, and we can only really guess that these sightings of these weird, giant alien looking things are probably the adult versions of the Big Finn squid. But when they suck

this hard, does it matter? Like like if you're swimming around stuck in this hard like science, it's okay for st just ignore you. I think I think he's doing great. You got a soft spot in your hard for these aliens, it's going to get us all killed the best he can, all right, he's trying. So they are big, pale deep sea squid with huge fins on their mantles, so the

mantles is like the main body of the squid. They kind of look like big elephant ears, although in one of these photos, because they're kind of folded in a

weird way, they look like little bunny ears. And then it also looks like it's scowling, But I think that's just the folds of the fins and the arms of the squid, of which they have ten and two of them are actually tentacles can be up to twenty six ft long or eight meters, which is actually I thought that I thought I remembered them being small, but they're actually enormous. Yeah, come on, come on, he's doing pretty good form monster and training. It is like a stuffed

animal tangled to Steve Seaweed. This is a crappy monster. This is a wacky monster. You are bullying this squid. Yeah, I want to side in this war. Well, the weirdest thing about them, maybe the eeriest part of them, is

the way they hold their arms. So when you know, when you think of a squid, you kind of think of like this hydrodynamic kind of thing where it's like its legs are straight down, but this guy holds its legs really long, thin tapering legs out at a right angle from its body, so perpendicular to its body for like a few feet, and then like bends them back down as if you're like holding your arms out and then litting your forearms just like dangled down like a

puppet show like fifty below that entertaining the other fish. And the scientists today know what that squid times. Is this because he thinks it looks looks cool? Or is their their function to this? Nobody knows. Nobody knows. Every time they try to get a grant there, like I want to go under sea and study that super crappy squid,

They're like, no, no, here's my guests. Though I have a I have an educated guess is that they don't like to get their arms tangled, so they have to hold them out radially because if they just let them all dangle down all in a clump, it get all tangled. Oh I get it. See that happens to me too. Every time. It's why I stopped smoking weed. Is every time I did, I felt like my fingers couldn't touch, or I might die. So I recognize this posture that that's my fingers can't touch or I might die. Squid.

So they have been found over four thousand, seven hundred meters under the sea or fifteen thousand, five hundred feet, So they're deep sea squid. And because they're so deep in the sea, it is hard study them. And we really don't know much about them. We don't know how they feed, We don't really know much about their behavior other than they just like to float like a weird squid, marry in it, and they have really long arms and they look a little spooky. If anything, I think it's

too much. I think we know more than enough. You don't want to get to know this squid better. What if you could, though, What if you could have a nice candle at dinner with this squid? I would I'd be friends with that squid. I talked to him about. I don't know dangling. We both dangled. We've dangled. Yeah, you dangle, I dangle. We dangled together. You know what I mean about the ins and outs of it? Yeah? Yeah, hey man, this is how I dangle. Got some cool

dangle tips for you. I feel like that if you got too close to him, like he'd steing you, Like there's a jellyfish thing about his arms. I bet, I bet they're toxic. If you touch him, he's probably gonna get his toxins all over the food. I don't know, I mean, I think they're probably My guests would be that they just dangle these long legs and then stuff just gets caught in them, and then they pull them up and eat it. Just a lazy play, just filtering

trash out of the bottom of the ocean. So mean, I didn't expect you guys to be so mean to this poor squid. Like I came into it being a little scared of the squid, and now I just feel sorry for him. Yeah, hey, I am on the record is loving the squid. That might be my defense mechanism when I see aliens. I just getting really grossed out by them, And that makes like defending Earth much easier, just shoving them into lockers and giving them a swirly.

That would be a crazy swirling though, all those legs just tornadoing around like thanks for the food, yum yum yum, gross squid. Well, speaking of aliens, uh, I have another animal for you to try to figure out whether it is fact or fiction. A picture of a bat with a face hugger on its face? Is this bat the seignior, a weaver of bats and it's got an alien parasite on it? Is it about to get a chest burster out of it? What do you think is going on? Is this even a yes to both those questions? Uh?

Well this is this looks like one of those Australian like spider crabs mm hmm. I think he's got those are very crustacean e legs. They could have photoshopped on the bat. But I think it's a bat that just has one of those things on his head. I think it's like his Lichador mask. This is his wrestling. I love that he has elvet spider mm hmm l spider enters the ring. I think the picture is real, but

that's probably not what's happening. Like maybe there's just a dangling spider and the bat ran straight into it and somebody took a photo. Maybe the bats asleep and they're like screwing with us by like screwing with us the viewer as if, but it's really a sleeping bat and the spiders crawling around on the sleeping bat. Or maybe it's an eyemask, a nice eyemask for the bat. That's nice disease. Yeah, so this is a real photo. How

many points do I get? Uh? Seven? Teen? Oh yeah, but it is not a parasite really, that's exactly what I said, So you get twenty nine suck, So it's a real thing. I've seen this miscaption as like you know, bat with face parasite, so it does have a special relationship with a bat, but it's not a parasite. So this is the News Yealand bat fly. It is a wingless insect that lives on New Zealand lesser short tailed bats. So despite it looking kind of horrifying, it is actually

commence alistic, not parasitic. So commence alism is when the symbiotes, so in this case, the bat fly gains something from

the host without actually hurting or helping the host. So you have something you have parasitism where the parasite gain something from the host at the host's expense like you guys and your little chuckles and your laughs, it does, so you have mutualism where both the symbiotes gained something from each other, and then there's commence ali is um where the one of the symbiotes gets something from the host and the host doesn't really matter, Like it does

not hurt them, but it doesn't help them. It's just whatever. All three of them describe my marriage. I hate the person that I chose to live my life with. So yeah, it's in this case. The bat fly likes to eat not the bat's blood, but the bats poop. Oh, everything you said about that squid is true of this fly. That's true. I'm not crazy about that. I love the bat. This fly is super creepy that he's a non flying

fly I feel like, and a non spider spi. Yeah, yeah, it's a It just likes to crawl around and eat the bat poop, or as one might call it, guano. Does it live on the bat because the bat looks like he's really unhappy about that, it doesn't necessarily always cover its face. I think this is just an unflattering morning shot of the bat with a with the bat

fly on its face, but it does. They do like to live on the bats, especially in order to travel to the bat territory, where sometimes they'll like drop off the bats and go eat some poop, So why on earth with the bat not just eat it? Because bats eat stuff. This is stuff. Why is it not a free meal? I mean, try to eat something that's clean to your face, Like how do you get your mouth? I have a beard. I do it all the time.

It feels like animals like instinctively know, like if a fish is brushing your teeth, like the bigger fish knows not to eat that one. Like there's something about nature that's true. But in this case, it's not really benefiting the bats. So it's actually a good question why they don't just like try to eat them organ Maybe he just thinks it's really funny that this thing just eats his quack all the time. I was laughing at it

the whole time. I was reading about how bat populations suffer because they get like fungus on them, and like the fungus doesn't hurt them, It just like bothers them, so they don't hibernate well. And then they just sort of and so you would think suddenly spider crawling around in their face with like really bother the bats. Because I'm just saying that I know that they get bothered

by things making their faces it. I think I think they kind of I think these guys like to kind of hitch a ride, uh and then like maybe drops off, like if they just go crazy in the guano piles. Yeah, exactly, that's what I think. Okay, I think that bad is making the exact right expression for the space about it.

I feel for that, like, oh my god, highly relatable. Dennis, you just crawled to the crap pile and he can't brush it up right at least with just careening into the side of something like those that's what he's using to fly. Yeah, and these these uh, these symbiotes there aren't that big, Like to a human, they're like, you know, maybe half an inch or something, but like to a bat, it's the size of the whole bat's face. So that's

got a suck, Katie. When you see a spider in your home, do you squish it or do you put it outside? I try to put it outside sometimes, I instinctively, like if something's on me, I slap slap it. But if I don't have that response, that immediate response, I try to put it outside. It's very nice. Brockway, same question. I squish them right up. I probably shouldn't, but I get like personally offended that they have invaded my homes.

I'll do things. I'll do things like if I had a spider like crawl across my foot once and then I like, uh, just instinctively stomped it with the other foot and then I went, oh, no, I'm sorry. Yeah, spiders trigger my evil response, like I'm not like that with everything. I'll straight up go out of my way to help a beat or something. But spiders are just

like the enemy. I know they shouldn't be, but no, yeah they're they're good, like I don't like if if I don't have that reflex, I like to help them out, give them like a little tiny cup of tea, a bunch of little tiny socks. When a bee stings me, I feel guilty and I apologize to the beat because I know it like kills the bee, so you know, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, if this fly stung me, I would not care if it died. I do not

like this fly. Let the record show second anim on her own, not crazy about what if it ain't your poop? Though the face bat face toilet fly, I think that makes it worse. I think that makes it worse, makes it a pervert. Yeah, yeah, I'm just laugh at it like this bat. You think it's delicious. So I've seen this thing going around on the internet about ravens and wolves, and the claim is that ravens and wolves are friends, their buddies, they get along, Like what Lady Hawk. They

made a whole movie about this. Nobody remembers that movie except for us. I don't know. We're the only ones that was ever important too. It's a story about a guy who turns into it will explain it, and a lady turns into a hawk. Uh, and like there's a brief moment every day when they turn from human to animal that they can almost spend time together, and that yes, the wizards cursed to make it so their true love would never like be consummated again, unless unless someone wanted

to like uh hawk. Yeah, and nobody does. Rutger Howard looks like he might. He's got that expression. I think he's just that good an actor. Yeah, maybe that's it. We used to Uh well, we keep very separate schedules. I'm up during the day and Sean is mostly working at night. So we always called the moments where we like meet very briefly in the morning and at night our Lady Hawk moments because we're adorable. Flow with you pointing out this as as it being exactly like it is.

I believe that bird in that movie is a hawk, right, and these are ravens. So you're saying hawks and ravens are different. I did not know. We're going to get it an advanced animal science. Yeah, yeah, unfortunately, but yeah. So the claims have been circulating on social media that wolves and ravens are friends who work together to eat food and have fun. So ravens purportedly leave wolves to carcasses so that the wolves will open up the meat

and make it easier for the ravens to feed. And ravens also supposedly play with wolf pups and have favorites. Uh so, what do you guys think? Is this true? Is it false? Is the truth somewhere in the middle. I ain't no reason to believe it's false. Ravens. Ravens are pretty clever. I've seen them displace objects with water to get to them in little puzzles. Obviously, Uh, wolves are pretty clever as well. I could see them doing

these things. The fact that social media is the source means, um, it's a I mean to google it before I you know, I know I'm not right now, but gun to my head. If I have to say it's fake or not, Uh, well, I'm not going to threaten you. I'm not scared. Paul, your gun out. See what happens. Uh. I had heard about this a long time ago, nothing I had actually researched. And because everything that you hear of a long time ago is true, I'm going to say it's true. Yeah.

So this is a really interesting case because the idea, this is one of my fun tricky questions where the ruth is somewhere in the middle. You guys. Uh, The idea that ravens and wolves are mutual mutualistic, like they work together, they play together, they have a fun friendship relationship like I've seen on social media is probably false. Ravens and wolves are direct competitors for food, and it's

not typical that you find mutualism indirect competitors. It's not unheard of because you have relationships like badgers and coyotes

are sometimes known to hunt together for burrowing animals. It's actually really funny because um, basically the one of them will like start scaring them out of the burrows and the other one like sits by the open hole and like grab them and yeah, so so they get a highly effective hunting strategy to get other and uh it's because you know, so badgers are better at digging things up, and uh, coyotes are good at chasing things, and so like when they end up hunting together, they both have

a higher success rate, and so they have a quite a friendly relationship. Do they fight over the carcass after that or do they know? I think it's not that they share the carcass because these are little these are little rodents, little like a little gophers and so on, So they really just like snap up like one and like eat it in one bites. There's not really much to fight over. It's more just like they try to get They aren't trying to give the other guy any food.

But they end up just having a really high success ratio regardless of if like they miss it, the other guy gets it. If the other guy misses one of them, they get one. And because they're both scaring these things back and forth, like they're each going to get uh one of these terrified rodents, and they do seem to actually enjoy each other's presence to some extent, especially the coyotes. They seem rather playful and excited about it. I think because they just learned that it's a fun time to

hunt together. But in this case the problem is that this idea that ravens need wolves to open up a carcass, or that wolves need ravens to lead them to a carcass,

I can't find any evidence of that. It seems more like they sometimes use each other's signals and take advantage of each other finding or killing something, but they're not necessarily intentionally helping each other, and in fact, there there's a direct conflict of interest because the more the ravens eat of a carcass, the less the wolves have, and vice versa. It does make sense that like a wolf's sets,

a smell doesn't really need a rave. If you can see a raven he can smell a corpse, and ravens, it's got a beat that, Yeah, I can get through some fur, you could see a raven can smell a corpse. I mean, they definitely do. Like line from Mighty Hawk, they do cheat off each other's papers, so to speak, like cheat off each other's carcasses where it's you know, the the wolves will follow ravens, and ravens will follow wolves because they do want to get in on each

other's kills. Or I don't think ravens really take down big animals. They mostly are scavengers, so they're not like hunting and taking down a carcass so um, but like if they find something, then the wolves might listen to their calls and like go over there to try to scavenge it for themselves. There are some days when there's like fifteen sixteen ravens outside eyeball on my corky dog, and I'm like, I know what you guys are playing. I've seen the crow. I know about your revenge scheme.

I know that's anecdotal evidence and not like I didn't do it like a thorough study on the raven patterns in my backyard, but I think they're trying to kill my dog. This is totally they are. This is totally like if you see nature photographs of animals hanging out together where they're not actively killing each other, humanity is always going to be like what if they're best friends, because yeah, I bet they get photographed together a lot

and you're like, well, then they love each other. Yeah, yeah, it's not good enough just that they tolerate each other or are not actively killing each other. They have to be buddies. But yeah, the problem is, of course ravens success actually is bad for wolves and and vice versa in terms of them getting edible biomass from carcasses. So research has shown that ravens are highly effective at extracting

biomass from carcasses. Their ability to get meat off of carcasses is inversely proportional to pack size, so that means that if ravens are trying to feed around a large wolf pack, they will get very little meat from a carcass, and if they feed around a small wolf pack, they can manage to get sometimes up to sevent of a carcass right exactly, so they are it's pretty clear they're

directly competing. So large wolf packs can more effectively guard and chase ravens away from a carcass and get it for themselves, whereas smaller wolf packs have a harder time chasing away a big group of crows. So the moral is the power of friendship wins. But friends with wolves, not friends with ravens. Well, I mean, the power of friendship amongst ravens and the power of friendship amongst wolves does does help them out. Seems like a little bad. Yeah,

never be friends with anyone different from you. I'd still watch the cartoon though. Dr Caylee Swift, a corvette expert who I've actually had on the show before, is skeptical of this wolf raven mutualism, claims. So there's a tweet, of course, I get all of my best research on Twitter, a tweet by Jim feltner Um, who is a a researcher who says that here are some fun picks of wolves chasing ravens off their carcass. Ravens can be serious

competitors with wolves for smaller wolf packs. Ravens can remove up to edible biomass of a carcass, and Dr Kaylee Swift responds, this is true and the main reason why the friendly mutualism between wolves and ravens that you read on Facebook memes is largely made up. So if you did post something about that, those science ladies are are

sub tweeting you right, Yeah, no, they are mad as hell. Uh. Despite this, there are many social media posts and even articles on websites like Yellowstone dot organ, stem jobs dot Com claiming that ravens and wolves have a special relationship. And it's actually true that they do have a special relationship. But as we just discussed with the bats and the face crabs, Uh, they there are many types of relationships in nature, not all of them good, not all of

them bad. Um. You can have a mutualistic or parasitic or commence alistic relationship. Um. So it can also be competitive. So you know, wolves may indeed pay close attention to ravens and follow the sounds of their calls that they make when they find a carcass, and ravens probably follow wolf packs to try to get a nibble of their kills. But yeah, they're not doing it necessarily to help each

other out. Uh. They may not have as violently competitive a relationship as say, like hyenas and lions, where they regularly kill each other in competition. Um, but they will try to steal from each other at a arkist sites, so you know it's like a rivalry, all right. Stop

putting your value judgments on animal relationships. I met. Some of them are friends, some of them are lovers, some of them are something in between Yeah, you know the classic thing where, like you know, you start out it's like I hate you Wolf, I hate you Raven, and at the end they're like kissing. Yeah, yeah, I've seen that movie. Yeah, um, I would love an animal it's half raven half wolf. I hope one of them. I have one of these couples makes it just so you

can see that. Yeah, I've seen that fan art. But yeah, I think about it when it's like just born though, because have you seen a newborn bird? And have you seen a newborn dog? Oh yeah, that's such a mix of ugly and adorable you're spitting God's eye. So I tried to find where the claim that ravens play with wolf puppies and our best friends with them come from, and it was hard to like find a reliable source

for this. Of course, Ravens are highly curious and intelligent, and puppies are very playful, so I wouldn't really be surprised if these natural competitors do sometimes play with each other before the puppies really know better, and the Ravens are probably just kind of like teasing them and having fun with it. And it's not necessarily a friendship, but it may not necessarily be too violent or or to misanthropic to an untrained eye, to an untrained twitter, I

would look like they're they're playing. Yeah, it's a it's adorable, but don't count on it lasting. Yeah, exactly, and it might it might not be entirely negative. But but it does not mean that they're best friends. So some note all research is going to come into your comments and be like, actually, they're their mortal enemies. This is actually very stressful for the ravens. Yeah, yeah, I I love that whenever someone posts like a cute picture something that like,

never do this. This means there was like someone who had like a sloth on a boat, like trying to help it cross the river. They had what they had a watch on a what how dare they? And I was like I responded to it like this is so wrong that sloth is like two minutes away from killing everyone on that boat. Slots are notorious pirates there. Yes, there is a trend if you go to like wildlife parks, there's sort of a trade trend among tour guides to tell you how much every animal could kill you, like

to be like look at this little capuchin monkey. Oh, this monkey could tear you apart, you know, I okay? And then I don't know if you've had this experience, but it's something that I get every maybe two or three tours, someone just taking me on like a walking tour of of how I could get massacred by these tiny little animals with their annual pass to the Little Safari. I already grew up with a good kind of cartoons, so most of what I know is streamed by violence.

So when they say this monkey could kill me, I'm like, oh, I've already thought of seventeen different ways I could totally take that monkey yet, which is not what I go there for, but what I always leave thinking. You see this cute little flying squirrel, Yeah, it can brow right into your eye socket, getting right to your brain. It'll tear a mouse apart, wilets and while it's still screaming like a man mech just drive you around sour in

your relationships with your family and friends. It'll guess like you to death. Yeah, but I think where this idea came from seems to have been taken from zoologists Burned Heinrich's book Mind of the Raven Investigations and Adventures with wolfbirds in it. He describes as symbiotic but not entirely mutualistic relationship between ravens and wolves. So remember, symbiosis just means any kind of relationship between two animals. It's not

necessarily positive, it's not necessarily negative. Uh. There's you know, parasitism, mutualism, commensalis um, mimicry. There's even a mental is um where one species inadvertently kills another merely by existing, which kind of is funny to me a little bit. Three dogs are on top of each other in a trench coat. Uh,

that is called real manism. That's good. Yeah, So there's no question that wolves and ravens have a relationship, and ravens track wolf movements, and it's even possible that you know, wolves pay attention to, say raven warning calls of danger and they look out for that. And but I think that like the play between ravens and wolves, it's like, even though it's probably sometimes playful, sometimes ravens do really try to harass wolves because they're trying to get them,

like away from a kill. So for raven is playing with a puppy, they're kind of practicing like harassing each other. There which is kind of funny. Like a clown with a child. They they'll play with the child, but to keep them away from a recent kill, right, Or like I could imagine like a young raven, a young puppy and a sort of wolf in the hound situation where they're like playing around, but then as adults they're bitter enemies. Yeah,

that's a Shakespearean tragedy right there. That's my That was my pitch for Lady in the Tramp too. I can like tolerate most sad Disney movies and stuff, but the Fox and the Hound, not Wolf in the hand, Fox in the Hound. That one's just leak. It's so depressive. There's no I wanted to hurt you with that one. That was the goal. It doesn't have a good ending. It's just like sucker punching you over and over again. Awful. But let's move on to big ducks. Big big duck energy.

So I have a picture of a tall duck. Uh. And the claim is that this tall duck is long boy and that this is the tallest duck in the world, or other claims have been that, no, he's not the tallest duck in the world. He is just the tallest mallard in the world. Is this true? Is this false? Is this a human in a duck costume? What? Is it annoyingly pedantic? Just the tallest? I feel like this picture seems reasonable, like this is a very tall duck. Ah,

there's slight evidence of some photoshopping, but nothing conclusive. It also just looks like kind of a frame artifact, Like it's just maybe a weird lens, or maybe he's just standing in such a way that foreshortening makes him look big, right, Like that's also kind of big, that twelve ft Joe Biden Jimmy Carter picture. This is just it could be an effective your classic Biden giant scenario. Think Jane Biden. I'm still really skeptical that picture of Biden with the

with the Carters. I think they they're like, oh no, it's just the lens warping. It's like, no, think the Carters have shrunk because like the chair, Well, I think the Bidens have grown. We violently disagree. I think they grow with power every day. Could it not be both and could it not be related? I think if we don't stop them, they will grow to be a hundred feet tall and there their hunger disappear. Yeah, like as

they grow larger, the carters grow smaller. Right. The only one who can stop him is this deock long boy, long boy. Is that really his name? Yes, long boy? Yes, so this is whatever you call it. Yeah, you know his legal name is long boy. Uh. And he is from the University of yok sorry, University of York, England. And he is very tall. And this picture is not doctored,

so two billion points for everyone all around bed. He's not the world's tallest duck, nor is he the world's tallest mallard, because he is actually a cross between an Indian runner duck and a mallard. So for a mallard, he is very tall, abomination. Yeah, he Well you wanted a half raven half wolf like five minutes, I don't know. Yeah, I've changed my mind on it now. I'm against against

interspecies breeding after that whole debacle. He is twenty eight inches or point seven meters tall, so about two two ft tall, which is very long. For sure. He's not just standing up real straight. He could be front it. Don't seem to be milking it a little bit, right, yeah, right, Like he seems like he's because when they put you up against the little hype thing at the doctors and you're like, oh, get all my hide out there. Oh boy, time to get alone. Yeah boy, he looks into get

a calm, insecure boy duck. He rounds up on his profile. Yeah basically seven. Yeah. But he's he's a very good boy and everybody loves them. Okay, yeah he sounds skeptical. Yeah, decided you hate this duck? My god, you can't hate the duck. I like the idea that there are just freaks in every species. There, there's just this is the ducks Andre the giant where he's like, he's not making a big deal out of it. The other ducks are hanging out with him. He's a good guy, just happens

to be enormous. Yeah, and you know, maybe he'll accidentally kill some small ducklings by just try lilling over them. But we live. We let on through the giant do that horribly wait wait wait wait wait wait wait, making giant poops and tricking everyone and looking at them. Duck, come look at my giant poop. That's that under the giant,

you can do that. That's I read a lot of under the Giant biographies or any wrestler biography, We'll have a Chapman under the Giant and how he tricked them into looking at his giant poop because he was too big for toilet, so he would like lay down newspapers and like poop on a hotel bed and then he'd be like, come morning here, boss, And then they go in and be like, oh, I'm tricked you and they're looking at my pooper. Then exactly like this duck, You're correct?

Is that true? Somewhere in between hundreds of variations of that exact story, the quiz has turned on you. I feel like this duck could get very popular amongst ducks if he just like puts on a little shirt in a little hat, because he's, you know, tall enough to almost be a person. So he could, you know, go into a store and it's like, well, you're too tall to be a duck. You're right, Get them beer and crackers. Yeah. So, guys, what's your feelings on the Lockness Monster. Uh, he's great,

he's inspiring, gives everybody hope. This is an an animal I hate. I don't trust the three You just don't like animals, the feeling you just don't like it, ianky Katie. I think I've liked every animal. I think Sean hates all animals and eye level, I can't argue with the stats so far, but I think you just caught me on a cranky day. You're on the wrong show, buddy. But what if the lockness mystery was finally solved, that the law Ness Monster is really just a big old

whale Penis just swimming around. And I would love that story. I like any story that ends with It's just a dick. It was a dick the whole time. He was just out there waving his dick around, and we built a monster about it. I mean, that's that's really my story. Well, I've shown you photographic evidence of a picture of the Lockness Monster and the picture of a whale penis, and it does remarkably, yes, exactly the same. So could this be what the Lockness Monster is? Penis? What do you

guys think? Well, the thing is where I look at the Lockness Monster, I don't want to, but when you look at that whale penis, try to sense that you can't get technically, not a person word in that. Finish your sentence, Finish your implication, you put it on the record. Sorry, Katy, I really sorry for that one. Just just long quack. I think it's fake because there wouldn't be a whale in the lock. I think that monster there's a whale on that late people be like, yeah, that's interesting enough,

we don't need to make a sea monster out of it. Now. If you were saying this, hold on, this is a different story. If you were saying that all of the you know, old timing mariners stories of here there'll be monsters and like pictures of sea serpents every single time that was a whale wagging its stick at them. I say yes, I say yes, that is I love that story. A billion points for Brockway, can I have three for

agreeing with him? You get you get like a little spinny top that's like part plastic, part cardboard, and on the cardboard part of it, it says you tried. Yeah, I'll take that as the insult you intended it to be. Yeah. Yeah, So exactly, you can't have wale penis in the lock because importantly, you can't have a whale in the lock because the lock is a lake and it does not have whales in it. If you put a baby whale in the lake years before. Uh, do you think it'd okay? No,

I think it would die. It would die, and then you would just have dead baby whale penis floating around. That's a different We could make a legend of that quite easily. But the photo that is being used as the basis for comparison has been debunked. That classic photo of the Lockness monster. The person who took the photo admitted that it is a toy submarine and a clay sculpture of a monster head that he took a blurry,

black and white photo of. Uh. If you believe that it's so easy to make these, you just changed all of history by soda monkey head to a bar soap and I'm calling it the Mermaid of the lock And I found the correct idiot for this picture. Therefore history has changed irrevocably. But Brockaway, what earned you another billion points is that the idea that a whale penis could

be mistaken for a sea serpent is true. It's well, we don't know if it's true, but it's not been disproven, so you can just old old sailor myths of a giant sea monster with a serpentine tail could have in fact, been a blue whale or other large whale just with its big old penis hanging out, just hanging down out in the air, like like sometimes you hang the ocean, yea, swinging it around sun, swinging it around in a new environment, and it would be impressive, because a blue whale penis

can be up to ten feet long or three meters with a diameter of one ft orme for you guys, when I was in college, I like to drink, so I have seen some tent for whale penises. I was gonna say, challenge you guys to make a not dirty joke about that. Immediately while you were saying that, I was already doing it. Let me interrupt you to make the dirty joke you're telling me not to make. I was. You only interrupted me by like, you only preempted my

interruption by a few seconds. As I was going to be, like, if you were a pirate out there at sale in the seas in the fifteen hundreds and somebody was like, that's not actually a monster, that's just a monster's they would be like, that's not that's not better. I still want to go home. By the way, if you want to own a nineteenth century stuffed whale penis. It'll run you just about six thousand dollars at auction. Well that's

a steel that's camer that's not even a nice camera. Yeah, well, no one would mention it as the guy who owned camera, but everyone would know you was the guy who owned a whale penis. Hey, you buy one whale penis. So our last thing to look at is actually a video I want you guys to check out. It's very weird. Oh no, Katie, what have you? What have you shown us? Unsubscribe? Have you seen this video before? I have No. Everybody tries to get me to watch horrible videos, and I

am usually so good about them. I did not see the trap coming from you. Yeah. Basically, what you see is these two fish burst from muddy bank like near a river, but like in the ground, and then they're gasping for air, and then one of them like spits an eel out, and the eel goes into the other fish's mouth. It's two fish, one eel. It's so filthy. This is the most vulgar thing I've seen it. Awhile it's the reason I, yeah, the reason I didn't even really want to cover this, but I did get a

few listeners like revenge, revenge. That's true, that's true, but it's all it's compassionate revenge. Because I did get some listeners send this to me saying like like, please tell me this isn't real. This has gotten like eight million views, So this is this is like not just on the dark web. This is out and about and people are watching this and thinking it's real. But what do you guys think. I don't want to live in a world where that's real. I do not. I do not want

to live in a world where that's real. I would I would pay you a good amount of money to undo this from my brain. Yeah, I will never rest easy thinking something like that could be behind me or in front of me. I feel like if I strategically hard drink right now, I can get rid of it. I'm already hitting myself in my head. Yeah, I'm gonna try to like spin around really fast and maybe just like the centropetal force back up and see which which

method works best. But yeah, so you see these two fish like face to face, and one spits an eel into the other fish's mouth, and they're like emerging from the ground like they're two ears of corn like coming out for harvest. It's it's not good and I don't I'm not going to listen to it with sound. I'll say that much. It's also like weirdly symmetrical, like like it's erotic, disgusting fetish erotic arts from like a culture I don't understand. Yeah, from from fish perverts. Yeah, is

this fish perfect art? Yeah? I love that. The the YouTube video is from Discovery Site. Yeah, yeah, Discovery Site through I'm not I'm not gonna play I'm not going to play around with this. Yeah. No, of course it's fake. It is absolutely no way, very very fake. I've seen not Discovery Site. The integrity of Discovery shattered. Yeah, I am thoroughly disillusioned with Discovery Site. Um it. Yeah, I've

seen a lot of these videos. There's something about fish and like people like will dig a hole and put a fish in it and then hold up an egg and then show a fish coming out of the hole because the fish doesn't want to be in a hole that you dug. And then they're like, see I lured a fish out of this hole with an egg. Uh. And it's like there are all these weird hoax videos, worst birth. This channel itself is if you want to

ruin your night, you could watch this channel. It's highly gross and not fun, uh because it's like so basically what it looks like to me is they have to I'm hoping dead fish that they have they like have hollowed out some ground and they are probably using using these dead fishes like hand puppets that they push through the ground and then they're like physically manipulating the mouth so they open and close. I'm hoping, I'm hoping these

poor things are not still alive. This is literally just as disgusting as if it's just two fish sharing an eel sucking. Yeah, and then like they and then they take a dead eel and then like put it in a fish and then like push it out and into the other fish. I think you're right. I think this is practical effects because like it does not look like c G. I it looks very very real. Channel is just them doing like stupid tricks with fish corpses. Yeah,

how does that not get directed? What world is it where you can do that and it's legal, Like put some laws on the books that make us you can't do dead fish bits what am I paying my taxes for? Like I said, I hope all of them are dead. I feel like some of the videos though. They certainly have videos where the fish are still alive and they're doing weird things with them. There's one where they dig

a hole. They put like some some powder and an egg in the hole and then catfish come out of the hole and it's like titled like fishing trick, and it's like, no, you just put some little catfish in a hole and then smothered them with like an egg yoke and then they tried to get out of the hole. It's really weird. Yeah, these thumbnails are just the stuff of nightmares. This is with you, guys. Any other species, I think this would just I think, like Sean said,

this would be massively immediately illegal. I think there's some sort of gray area where we're with fish. Like, no, he's not a sociopath for making this entire channel about playing with corpses. Yeah, like if you did this with a human baby or a human toddler, right, that's illegal all of a sudden. That is very illegal. Actually, yes, No, I mean, like I I eat fish, so I'm you know, I'm not a vegetarian and uh, but I think it's not cool to just like torment fish for weird videos.

This is somebody's fetish, that's what. Look, that's my default when I don't understand something on the internet, and so far I have never been wrong. It's just so it's like I feel it's like I think, oh, the person who made this as a serial killer. But it's like, well, yeah, because they're already serial killing fish and tormenting them, like they make a fish and a turtle like kiss each other.

It's so weird. Like, can we try to try to imagine you're like on a date with a guy and the things are going well and then he says, oh, yeah, here's the kind of thing I do on the internet, and he shows you that video, Like, can you think of anything that would end the momentum a relationship faster

than that? I mean, it'd probably be too late for me, right, Like he would have already killed Yeah, I mean he just wants to see if you understand the trap closing right, right, that's the last admission before like my head gets chopped off by some kind of solid device. Yeah, do you see the beautiful gift I've given us? Do you see the pleasure fish upon land? This is the next step of evolution. You use that voice for Rutger Howard. At some point they also seem to take a vacuum in

pertend to vacuum up fish. Uh oh, yeah, I see that one. Yeah, I bailed on that side. You guys are looking at stuff without me. I'm not looking at that side ever. Again, I'm a notre horse. But like I hesitate, like I hesitate to even linked to this because like they're clearly just trying to get shocked clicks for views, and it was million six million views. Yeah yeah, and it's kind of I kind of hate it. Like I I don't necessarily hate hoaxes all that much. They

can be funny, but I don't like this at all. Yeah. I hate these guys. I hate these guys like Sean hates every animal, right. I love the weird squid, I love the I even love the bat fly who crawls around and eat bat guano. But these guys, I hate him. You're the worst animal, guys, Yeah, man, man is the worst animal. That's what we always learned every time. Everyone who's the who's the real? Who's the real? Long Finn squid.

It's us. It was us the whole time, the whole time. Well, guys, thank you so much for coming on and playing my little game. Oh final score, A billion points for Brockway, seven points for Sean what what what quack and destroyed. But I ut like two thousand, five hundred baskets of point coin which are worth two billion points each. So I will oh until they until they regulate it. You better catch you out quick. Yeah, congratulated, Thank you, thank you,

well deserved one might get. Thank you so much. Thank you, guys, Thank you everybody, my most humble of things. But yeah, thank you. Where can people if I guess if they want to find you after all your slander against animals? Where can people find you? Dog dot com also on Patreon, one hot dog and our podcast if you hate the written word and you love us, which why wouldn't you? Is The Dog Zone nine thousand two, two z's, three zeros and two dudes having fun there. I'll remember that.

That was really cute. Yeah, we do jokes every day, we're funny dudes. Not I mean, we didn't do it today today, you know, like I said, it was really cranky, just hating animals today but this is for science normally science brains on. Yeah, don't judge them for their duck hate today. Uht bit maybe a little bit? Yeah and then uh yeah. You can find the podcast online at Creature feature Pot on Instagram, Creature feet Pot on Twitter.

That's t has something very different. Uh. You can send me your questions concerns, hopefully not weird videos of fish doing not good things to Creature feature Pod at gmail dot com. And thank you so much for listening. If you're enjoying the show, please leave or rating and review. Uh. It really helps. I read them all makes me feel good inside. It will wash away the horror of watching the weird fish video that I did for you guys. So yes, you're welcome. Uh, and thank you to the

Space Classics for their super awesome song Exo Alumina. Creature features a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts like the one you just heard, visit the I Heart Radio app Apple podcast or Hey Guess what? Why do you listen to your favorite shows? See you next Wednesday