Creature Feature Halloweenisode 2022!

Joining me today is my friend, co host of a plethora of podcasts on the game Fully Unemployed Network, including Hypecast and we just watched with Tom and Dave, also a writer with me on Sumwhere News. Dave, Welcome, Hi, what's my Spooky day? Bell has an obvious row. Yeah, Hell, Dave Hell Bell, Yeah, it's not it's it's David David damn it. I would just say David Hell, but then I said David Bell, David Bell parentheses Hell. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah, it's not great. It's not great. Well, thanks for having

me on. Yeah, no, this is a very spooky episode. It is Halloween. At least it should be Halloween. Hopefully when you're listening to this, um so you know, Happy Halloween everyone. Hope you're eating a lot of candy, dressing up as ghouls, um, you know, having a good time. We're bright, reflective clothing, watch out for kitty kats, you know all those things. Um, yeah, you're the proto. Yeah, be nice to ghosts, to like a lot of them.

I think are probably gonna be extra sensitive because everyone's like, oh, a ghost, and they're like, yeah, okay, that's kind of mean. If you hear if you hear like the sounds of like groaning coming from like a graveyard, Um, honestly, go check it out because that person probably needs help, right, Yeah, don't just go a ghost and run like that person probably needs your help. Yeah, ghosts typically don't make noise there,

you know. And but human beings who are like felt like tried to tour a graveyard and then fell into a hole and broke their ankle, they do make sounds. So check that out. Um yeah, just you know, uh, enjoy enjoy Halloween. You know, check your candy for like hidden vegetables and throw those out. Yeah. I saw a post where someone was wrapping Brussels sprouts in tinfoil to look like fair feraro rochet Uh, candy, and that's like the worst. That's so mean. Um, I love that candy.

If I got that, I would break out into tears and never trust another human again. I would break out the toilet paper. That's where the trick comes into trick or treat, right, and then you poop on their lawn and wipe yourself with the toilet paper. Well, um, I hope that you are excited for this episode because I have some creepy creatures to share with you. I also found, um the worst Halloween soundboard in existence, which I'm really excited about. Um, so you know, I hope you are too.

Just here is a little sample of that with uh this this spooky Halloween sound Oh my goodness. Yeah, they're they're having so much fun. What was the joke they told you? I don't know. Here's here's a witch sound laughing. Yeah. This one is just called blood. That's the sounds of Lettle right. Yeah. Well, you know it's a free Halloween

soundboard that I lovingly picked out for this episode. Um, so let's get right into it and talk about some of the ghoulish creatures that are very HALLOWEENI very spooky, very slimy. First, we're going to talk about the goliath frog. M M, that's not that's not really I feel like that's not that. I don't really Yeah, it's a haunted radiat or wait, let me try that again. Let's talk

about the goliath frog. Jesus. They are like, yeah, it's a water phone where they always play that as like the spooky sound, but it sounds like they're really rocket out on it, like getting a little excited there. So, yes, the goliath frog. Do you remember there was a fake video going around a while of like this guy who had this giant frog, like the size of a small chihuahua. He feeds it a banana and everyone was freaking out about how huge this frog was. Did you ever see that? Yeah,

I think so. Well, it was fake. It was a video, actually I know. It was a video of an Australian green tree frog. And they're beautiful frogs, but they only grow to be around four inches or ten centimeters long. There's no such thing as a frog the size of a chihuahua. That would be ridiculous. I'm kidding. Their total is uh and it is the goliath frog. So this is the world's biggest frog and no No, it is actually found in a relatively small area of West central

Africa and Cameroon and Equatorial Guinea. And they are just big. They're they're big boys and their love and their love and life. Uh. And they like to live in sandy rivers and forested, humid, warm areas. They are absolutely gigantic. They can grow to be over a foot long from nose to butts. So it's not even cheating where you know, like they splay something else. It's like, well, when you stretch out its legs, it's like a foot long nose. From its nose to its booty butt it is a

over a foot long, not even including its legs. Yes, I'm looking at things like that. Are like my keyboard and stuff. They're approximately a foot long. That's a big that's a big frog. It's a big frog. Big frog. They can wait over seven pounds or three kilograms, which is larger than a lot of chihuahuas. Yeah, this thing, it could eat a chihuahua if it was so inclined. I envy this frog because I think frogs are the chilliest of you want to eat a chihuahua? Oh yeah,

exactly know. They're so they're so relaxed. They just this, they're these they're like they're like rocks but alive, and I love them for it. And they're like there. There's not much else like them in my head. But yeah, there's like lizards and alligators, but they're all like stretched out. Frogs are the only ones that are like I'm gonna bunch up and be like this ball of meat form. Yeah no, I like that. They're like the rabbits of the reptile world. I don't know, I don't know how Yeah, no,

they totally are. I really love that description. Well, rabbits of me amphibian world to be that's you should feel bad, but um, but yeah, it's interesting. A A fun little fact about them, other than their size is that they are mostly silent, Like you would think that this huge frog would have a big frog voice, but they're actually mostly mute. They don't even have a vocal sack and

don't produce mating calls. They can whistle, though, and it's like this squeaky, wheezing whistle that they use to get the female's attention, which is really funny because it's world's chunkiest frog, this big goliath frog looking you know, absolutely,

like a whole mountain. And then it goes like I was really hoping it was like a cartoon, like whistle to the ladies, you know, it's like it's like yeah, also, yeah, imagine being in a swamp and you're hearing something whistle and you're like, who is that frog staring at you? I would love to get hit on by a swamp monster, you know what I mean, Like, thank you. They don't care if I didn't shower today. They think that's great. Oh yeah, they encourage it. They're like getting the swamp, yeah,

getting swampy, getting getting these duck weeds with me. That that, you know. So when they that is the life, living

the swamp life. When they when they do mate, these goliath frogs, they actually construct private pools for their offspring, building a nest in or near a river, and they'll either dig a pool near the river and allow water to seep in it from the nearby water source, sometimes like building a channel from the river to the pool, or they'll wall off a pre existing slow moving pool in the river by moving rocks and creating this damn uh so, yeah, these guys are so huge. They can

lift rocks and do construction work like slimy beavers. That's so cool. Also, good on them. Nobody likes public displays of a affection, so like creating a private little lagoon for themselves, that's so romantic. Like I remember teenager as a kid, and teenagers we used to do that in creeks, Like you you damn it up to make a little swimming swimming hole in your own personal swimming hole. Yeah, I grew up in San Diego. So you go to the beach and you just dig a hole and sit

in that hole. So I feel like there must be somewhere deep in our primordical brains some kind of shared evolutionary history with these frogs. Or it's like you sometimes you just like to be in a wet hole. Yeah. So um. It's thought that the males construct the nest while the females guard the nest against predators, but it's actually not really known because the male and female frogs are very hard to tell apart they're basically the same size, so we don't really like someone's like, yeah, I think

that's a male, but they're not sure. But regardless, one of them builds the private pool, one of them guards it, and they lay their tadpools there, and in fact, the the pool construction industry that these frogs engage in is a theory for why they evolved to be so beefy, because the ideas that the frogs that were better able to construct sturdy, safe pools for their offspring had more of their tadpools survive because you know, they're they're separated

from the predators in the river, and if you're bigger, you can heft rocks around and dig better pools. So then they just turned into these little froggy beefcakes. No adorable. I know what everybody's wondering, what do they eat Chihuahua's Well, uh, not quite. They eat worms, spiders, insects, crabs, mollusks, fish, other frogs, baby turtles, snakes, small mammals and sometimes bats. Basically anything that's uh smaller than them, Like that's what.

That's the anything that's in front of them is what it sounds like. They don't eat chewa. But if a chihuahua walked by them, they think about it. They would. I feel like they would eat a puppy chihuahua. Absolutely, I'm confident they would. Uh typically I don't think chihuahua puppies roam around that area, but if they did, they be in a hape of trouble. Yeah, if you're in this area, you're a puppy chihuahua. Get you get out

of there, head on a swivel. So they are hunted as a food source, these goliath frogs, uh though by humans actually um, but because they are endangered, local communities have worked to make sure they hunt them in only sustainable amounts. So fingers crossed that that works. And cute fact about the goliath frog they are shy. They were introduced to the pet trade, which isn't ever that great for these like wild animal communities. But apparently they're too

shy to be good pets. Yeah, like they do not, like they really don't want to interact with you. They don't want you to look at them, and they like are way too shy. H So in addition to it never being really good to have like an exotic pet in terms of their like what that does to their populations. Uh, yeah, they're they're just they're too shy. So like they're they don't they don't want to hang out. They just want to Yeah, they just want to build a wet hole

and stay in it. We just respect them from afar. What what business do we have in the frog world anyway? Like like the idea of eating frog legs. I'm like, why though, why, Like, look at these things? Do you want do you want your life to intersect with them at all? And I are entire French audience just teared out. Sorry, I'm sorry, but like you know, we're we They have no business in our world, We have no business in their world. We can respect each other from a distance.

Us and frogs are young. Might occasionally pick them up, yeah, and then they pee in their your hand and they hop away. Yeah. I used to pick up frogs all the time. I love them. I would try to keep them as pets. That never worked. They're very neat. You find a frog and its neat and they're wet and they kind of just hop around and they make a little sound when they land on you, and it's great.

I love them so much. But yeah, there's like, because these frogs are so shy, there's like a ton that we don't know about this frog's behavior, which is kind of shocking because they are the world's largest frog, the most obvious frog right. These they're these little teeny tiny frogs that we like you'll read about like, oh, we

just discovered this new frog. And it's usually these little teeny tiny guys and they're often they're called like micro highland frogs, these little itty bitty guys like sometimes the size of like a pinky finger nail. It's like, okay, well, obviously we didn't We don't really know much about them. They're so small we literally can't see them. But this frog is huge and we barely know anything about them

because they're so shy. And it's crossed the like a cat threshold, which is, to me, when an animal is a certain size where it's like, oh, I want to take that animal and put it in a crate, and it's like, technically I could, but it's not gonna make

it easy. It's gonna hurt you. Like these frogs are big enough where it's like you want you want to pick one up, Like we have a picture and here of a guy who I believe is a Jim Henson puppeteer picking up this like he just looks like he lives in the seventies, um picking up the frog, and the frog is not into it. Yeah, it doesn't. He he just looks like you imagine like replaced the frog with Ernie uh in that picture, and I mean you you had a Kermit was right there and you didn't.

Actually can't respect you for that a little bit. Um, Yeah, no it does. It is funny. It does look like Jim Henson, but sort of like as if Kermit the Frog and Jim Hinson just was run through a realism filter something. It's like, who I am with with Kermit the Frog and yeah, looks completely checked out. Um, it's not into it. It both pictures. It's being held and all it's thinking about is when it gets to not

be help. Yeah. I mean part of it too is because they probably have a sense that they should not be around a larger animal because like they are, they are hunted for food, both by humans and other larger animals. So he's thinking, like Jim Hanson over here is gonna eat me, So you know, look at like because look at his legs. They're so beefy. He does not skip leg day and he knows that Gormond's are going to see those and imagine a nice meal. Yeah, he's got

he's he's got like a Ninja turtle legs. Yeah, it's pretty incredible. Yeah, yeah, he does. He is a little bit in the pose of like you know, the hello, my baby, Hello my island. Yeah, that that whole thing a little bit pose and doing that a little bit um. But yeah, so that is the world's largest frog. It turns out that the real monster was us for trying to hold this frog and make it uncomfortable. That makes so much sense. I'm willing to bet the real monster

will be us. Uh for a lot of the animals. Yeah, it's like freaking seventy nine degrees and like October, so huh, I wonder what that. I wonder who the real monster is. Well, on that note, we're going to take a quick break and then we're going to come back and talk about some hags. Oh she's so happy. So we're back and we're going to talk about the hag fish. Oh my god. Yeah,

it goes on a while here, I'm gonna yeah, yeah. Usually, I mean, I guess that is the thing with like when there's like a dramatic thunderclap, usually then there's just like more of it and then you're trying to do more of the story. But then it keeps thundering. So I love the idea of a soundboard with like like rainstorm and it's like thirty five minutes. I think that is probably what this actually is. I have to emphasize again, this is maybe the worst Halloween soundboard I've ever found,

which is why I'm using it. So, hag fish are actually one of my favorite weird creatures. They are a primitive fish that are over three hundred million years old, and they look like this weird cross between like an eel and an alien, and they're kind of this like they're basically this gray or pink kind of worm like thing. They can grow to be around twenty or fifty centimeters in length, and they are literally spineless. And that's not an insult. No, it's not. Have you uh seen the

movie Dream Dream Catcher? No, I haven't. Based off of Stephen King book that he wrote while he was on painkillers, I believe because he had been hit by a car. But it's yeah, yeah, I mean he's fine, but it's not his finest it's not his finest story. Um. And it's about aliens that um, let's say, come out of your butt. Uh and uh they're taking over uh and they're trying to go to the quab And Reservoir to

take over Boston. In the movie, it's one of notoriously the worst movies based off Stephen King Uh And I'm saying you should watch it because it's a big swing and let me tell you, it doesn't exactly hit it out of the part um, but it's a big swing. And the aliens in their larval Sta look exactly like this. Do you think they actually used them or like us, I'm almost certain they must have. Yeah, they use them as inspiration for sure. Well, yeah, so they really do.

They have a very alien look because they are they're essentially like they look like a worm, but kind of not a worm, because they don't have segments and they're huge, like you know they are. They kind of look like an eel. But then they don't have a face. They just kind of have a mouth hole. You can not really see their eyes. They do have eye spots, but again, like you can't really see them. They're just very eerie

and primitive looking. Yeah, they look like a big worm, like when you worm comes out of the mud and it's like a big pink worm and you're like, what are you? Where's your face? What what's your whole deal? It's the same thing where you look at this creature and you're like, how how are you? How are you doing? What's going on here? You can't really make eye contact with it, And that's always tricky when I'm trying to

relate to an animal. Um. But what's uh, Yeah, they have no vertebral column and they also have no jaw. And what's even weirder about this is there is the I mean, the current leading theory about the hag fish is that they actually once did have a spine but lost it because there are some of these like semiformed vertebrae like structures that just kind of don't seem to do anything, and so they think that they actually had a spine and then they're like, you know what, I

don't need it. I love that. Yeah, I love that they were like evolving and they're like, wait, I just want to be a worm. I just want to be a weird worm. I was freaking yeah, just like this is this is junk. This is this is useless junk. This spine yeah, I mean water? Why? Yeah exactly. So, Yeah, they have no fins. They have like a ridge along the spine and a tail, but yeah, really not much in the way of fins um. And they move around by undulating his whole body. So yeah, very very weird,

creepy movements. And additionally, they are absolutely covered in slime. The slime is a whole thing. We're actually going to get back to that later, but I just you need to have that too to like imagine these creatures. They're very slimy um. And in addition to that, their skin is very loose fitting and weird, like that roach alien from the original Men in Black, which is uh what

that that actor's name done off? Yes, Yes, amazing performance, one of the like one of my favorite like like corny character actor performances because he really doesn't make it. He really sells the I'm an alien inside a human skin suit things, so well, yeah, understands the assignment. He he I mean, he was in full metal jacket like he's a he's an amazing actor. And then he'll also have now and then do these rolls where he's like I'm gonna have a blast. Uh, and that's one of them.

He nails it. Yeah. Um, but yeah, they look like it's like some aliens stole like an eel skin, and it is now kind of like writhing inside of it because the skin is very loose fitting, and in fact, it is really only firmly attached to the muscles along the back. So this ridge along the back is the only place where the skin is actually attached to the muscles.

There are also a few points, I think there are some slime glands where it's also attached to the slime glands, but mostly it is unattached other than to the spinal ridge or not spinal ridge. They don't have a spine, sorry, just back ridge. It's like the Doctor Zoidberg of of ocean life, where it's like, I'm just gonna be a freaky weirdo. I'm just gonna be all sorts of weird and gross. I won't have a spot anything. I love them. I love them because they're just like, I'm just here

to creep out like dolphins. Yeah yeah, no, oh, and they certainly creep out. Other fish will get into that, but yeah, they Yeah. It is just basically a loose fitting sack at this skin, and it's also filled with blood, so there's a bunch of blood in that interstitial space between the muscles and the skin, So so like they have a huge volume of blood, like like just right under the skin, and so when they move around, they look like a slimy, wriggly skin sock filled with some

kind of fluid which is actually blood. So they're basically just like blood socks. And then like, uh, also obviously muscles and internal organs um, but then no spine. They're just they're such weirdos. Yeah, I'm sure they have predators, but I like the idea of a survival tactic being like, do you want to deal with this? Do you want to deal with any of this? And like animals just being like, you know, I don't. I don't like I love just grossing out other aims, but I'm sure there's

an animal that loves blood. Dave, You're actually exactly right. Their evolutionary strategy is literally to be too gross to eat so um, too gross, too squiggly and wiggly, and just predators do not like to deal with this thing, and they typically will not mess with them, so uh they That is the whole theory behind this like squishy giggly situation is it makes it very hard for predators

to get a good bite in. Remember those like water tube toys where it's like basically this elongated tourists like it filled like water and sometimes like litteral or something. You can't really hold onto it because it's like one of those yeah, one of those inventions that you wonder like what was the meaning that exactly like weird, just weird. Yeah it's wrong. It's like plastic filled with water but kind of turned in on itself and so you can't

really hold it. And kids love it. So yeah, it's like one of those water tube toys but also covered in slime. And so researchers, you know, biology researchers. I really really respect them. Obviously I wouldn't have a show without them. But I also think that a lot of them would be serial killers if they hadn't found biology, because yeah, yeah, but like so these these biology researchers took a bunch of dead hagfish and built a shark tooth guillotine to test out how hagfish avoid serious injury

when bitten. So they're just like, well, we got these hag fish corpses, and we're gonna build a guillotine made out of shark teeth, uh, and then just like put

these hag fish in there. Uh. They also did some ed Geen level experimentation where they would cut off the hagfish skin and reattach it with glue because remember I said, like, it's only attached like to their backs, this skin, and so they're like, well, what if it was attached firmly to their whole body like our human skin is, and then put them in the back into the shark guillotine to see, you know, what difference does it make? Like, So they did find that that loose skin really does

save them from the from the shark bite. So while the shark tooth guillotine was able to puncture the hagfish's skin, it was not able to puncture the muscle tissue. Uh so due to the way that the skin slid against the muscle and skin heals can heal quite quickly, whereas muscle tissue does not heal very quickly. Um. And when they ed gained the fish and like glared the skin onto its dead body. Again, great work, biologist, love you, um, keep doing this and please do not give into any

other dark desires because of what you're doing is great. Yeah, this is your outlet. Continue with this and literally nothing else please. So yeah, when the skin was firmly attached to the hag fish, the shark guillotine worked like it was able to puncture the fishes muscles, So it really was being, you know, a blood sock that prevented them from sustaining serious injury from getting bitten. I love that because had they just in the first experiment and found

that the skin protected it, that's all I needed. I'd be like, Oh, the skin protects it. But wait, let's glue the skin and yeah I don't I don't need Okay, sure, go for it. I guess. Yeah, just like, well, you know, we've got all these dead hagfish, and we do have this shark to guillotine, so I do kind of want to cut off all its skin and glue it back on anyone with We're afterwards where they're like hag fish fight slapping each other with it. I mean, that would

be highly unethical, highly unethical, and super fun. So um, yeah, they in addition to this loose skin situation, they've got another trick up their sleeves. If there is a of a shark or something that is very determined to try to eat one of these guys. Um, Remember how I said they are absolutely covered in slime. They have over one hundred slime glands and they use them to produce a just ridiculous amount of slime. And it's this thick,

milky white, translucent and actually semi fibrous material. It looks exactly like ectoplasm, you know how like ectoplasm is described in like old like Victorian era seances or represented in like I guess Ghostbusters. It's always just like kind of like thick goo. Uh that is it is. It's exactly that. Like you could if you use hagfish slime, you could, you know, do a seance and be like actoplasm because it looks like what I see ectoplasm described as by

you know, ghost experts. I don't know what they're calrings to the idea of a medium, like a scam artist keeping some hagfish because they need ecto players, like there's nothing else, there's no other, no other sorts, and this tag fish is like it's a little I have a weird question. Are they happy? Do they have a good life? I think they do. I think they do, And I'm going to explain why so so, because they're so slimy uh it actually um and fibrous and thick. It's like

it actually will clog up the gills of predators. So um, while I do not have gills, I am can only imagine that having a bunch of that thick, nasty goo in my gills would feel horrible. Uh. And like, so these predators will back off and try to clean the gunk out of their gills because they need their gills to breathe, and because they are just so slimy and nasty and and like just all this goo happens when they agitate these hagfish, most predators just avoid them all together.

They learn they just do not want to mess with these guys, even though they are essentially these giant ramen noodles of the sea, which would probably be delicious to a predator, uh if they weren't covered in slime and had their weird like blood sock skin. Just they're yeah and so like uh they as basically then have free run to uh have a lot of fun and eat stuff at the bottom of the ocean. And so you know, I mentioned earlier that they don't have jaws, which makes

it seem really difficult for them to eat. Um. And instead of jaws, they actually have a pair of tooth covered plates, which I do gotta say, uh, and parents cover your little kid's ears. It looks a little bit like a vagina dentata. You know. Yeah, we we've been dancing around this. The entire everything about these worms is genital in nature. Yeah, a little bit, a little bit not to be not to go to blue to gross.

It's very well, you know how like Alien who was like like Geiger Geiger Geeger who did the Aliens artwork, and a lot of his artwork is like a little bit little phallic, little sexual. It's like there's some of this like stuff in terms of designing the alien to be like have sort of this like weird. I don't know, I'm not saying I find the alien from Aliens sexual. This is like yeah, exactly to represent a sort of

like I don't know again, like innu window. Yeah, this looks like an hr Yeah, like this is a this fish is an innu window, like a horror an innu window. Yeah. You look at them and you're like, that's a little much. It's a little it's a little bit flaccid, got kind of a vaginasin todd a going on. It's you know, it's he's it's a little naughty, I gotta say, a little naughty. But so so how does it use these weird because like with the jaw, it's like, okay, joh,

you chomp, chump, chomp like a pac man. What do you do with like toothplates, Well, they don't chew. Instead, they use these toothplates to grab onto flesh and rasp it. When rasping is basically just kind of like using that to like tear little pieces of flesh off or sometimes sizeable chunks. And they will eat dead or dyeing marine animals who sink to the bottom of the ocean. So like, once you start sinking to the bottom of the ocean, there are all sorts of the tread of wars who

want to eat you. But I feel like these guys are the scariest. So they will grab a hunk of decaying flesh, or even living flesh if it's just a animal that's sickly and can't move anymore, and they will wriggle and writhe in knots until they've torn off a healthy portion of that dead whale, shark, or anyone unfortunate to end up in a watery grave or even something that's only half dead. Um. And then uh, they will

invite themselves inside the body. Uh, they'll bore a hole inside and feast on the carcass from the inside out. Like they're at the world's grossest sisslers, just like all having a huge party inside a dead whale. They're having a great time. They're having such a good time. And they can actually absorb nutrients not only through their mouth but through their gills and skin, meaning they can slurp up the gooey, decaying soup from inside a carcass like

a tube shaped sponge. Good for them. It's a reminder anytime you watch a horror movie where like someone finds a body and there's rats in it or cockroaches, what you're seeing is a party. Yeah, you're seeing those animals having a fantastic day. They've got the cards. They're having such a good time. And these worms, man, I really respect them. Like I was asking if they're happy, because I think that the age old question if you could

be any animal reincarnate. I think this is high on the list for me now because they're they're so I love them whales all day long. Yeah, they seem to be having a great time, and I love that they're just too gross for anything else to eat and they're just freaking out sharks. I love it. I love that. I want that for myself. Yeah, I mean they are like their brains are very small. Uh, they're very simple. They're like like again, they're like an extremely primitive fish.

So you know, they're they're just they have such a simple life of like being gross, slimy and eating stuff and partying. That's the that's any like like college bro. Really. Unfortunately for them, humans have taken an interest in their slime because so yeah, despite the fact that the slime is a huge deterrent for marine predators, humans we were such perverts, were always like, huh, interesting a defense strategy that all other animals hate. Maybe we can eat it.

It's like with a spice, like spicy food, like spicy peppers. It's like that is a way to keep trying to keep um bugs from eating the pepper challenge. And we're like and like, birds actually are not they can't. Uh, that doesn't have an effect on birds. And so therefore a bird can eat like a pepper and like dispense the seeds for the plant and it's fine. But then an insect that would kill the plant before it's ready to um spread. It seeds around then, like you know,

the the bug is vulnerable to that. But then along comes humans and we're like, hey, I'm gonna eat this pepper because it hurts my mouth, and that's that's that's hot. I love that. It's fun. It's like it's like, you know, my mouth is masochistic. I love that. So it's the same deal with the slimmer, like that is disgusting. No animal wants to eat that. Let's eat it. So it's so rich in protein. Hagfish slime can be used as

an egg white substitute and apparently pretty good. Um, I mean why if I guess it doesn't harm an animal, right, or does it? I mean, you gotta get it from the hag fish. And the way to get the slime from the hagfish is to like annoy it. So like you're basically annoying and stressing out hag fish and they're like, you know, vegan, it's not not vegan. It's not vegan. I guess it's I mean, it's probably more sustainable than

chicken eggs. I don't feel like it sounds like it would be, but I don't know accept the world where we stop eating meat. We stopped like where what we do instead is just annoy animals for their food. I do you like that idea, Like it's a it's an upgrade. You know, technically we're not killing them, We're just bothering. I wish we could just like kind of tickle them though, and then they like go to tea and then like goose out some of their slime Like that would be

you know, but I don't know. Yeah, I mean, you know, I guess like thinking about it, like chickens are probably more intelligent than hagfish, so they probably are more like can like suffer more when we are, you know, exploiting them for eggs or something in bad conditions, but maybe are less like aware of the situation. Hopefully, if chickens

are in good conditions, is what's going on? Is they lay eggs, we take them, They're like I just laid okay, kind of make more eggs, Like is that what's going on? They just keep going up? Well, No, it's probably fine. Like if they're in good conditions, I don't think it really it's not a big problem because they those are just like unfertilized eggs. So they would they would, I mean in the while, I think because they were domesticated

and selected or increased egg production. Wildbirds I don't think would lay that many unfertilized eggs. Um. But they're not like annoyed at all, Like they're not like I don't I don't think so. I mean maybe I don't really know the psychology of a chicken, but uh no, I don't think they'd be that disturbed because they probably I would imagine they might have a sense of like, these are fertilized eggs, but I don't actually know. I've never

raised chickens. I don't know that much about chicken farming. Um, so maybe maybe wrong, maybe they're like they're like my baby every time you scrambling. But yeah, so uh. In addition to being an egg white substitute, hagfish slime fibers are so strong and pliable, researchers are trying to reverse engineer them to create flexible, strong fibers for I guess technology. Yeah, it is interesting. I read something where it's like the military is looking into this, Like of course they are.

They have such a huge that's such a huge budget they're just like, I don't know, get some slime and make weapons out of them. We'll just make everything weapons. So what you're what you're sort of saying is in Spider Man to the Amazing Spider Man Too, where Electro falls into a vat of electric eels in the lab.

That's not far off from realism. I bet there was some kind of like arms uh person like military research and development person watching that movie and going like, huh, yeah, well could we yeah, or they're like, oh, they know about our eels like it's making a phone call they know. Yeah, No, I mean, you know, could we just I would like there to be some discovery where it's like it doesn't immediately become militarized. That would be nice, Like can we

would be can you just let him be slimy? You know? Right? But once again, man is the villain. We were the villain the whole time. We are the real monster. Um. At least we're not trying to eat them. I'm glad we're just annoying them. Yeah, no, we'd still also eat the whole. They're apparently very tasty. You know, I don't know, they don't look tasty, but they do. They decidedly do not. But apparently, I guess they're like a big sausage. Okay, yeah they do. I guess they look like a big sausage.

That's true. Well, on that note, we're going to take another quick break. You can, um, you know, change your change your shorts if this got too scary for you, if you're too spooked, um, and we will be right back. Where's my soundboard? Leave all this in there we go. This one is just called strange. Oh that's horrible. Yeah, I don't know what that was cos this is the worst, the worst sound pack I've ever ever. Yeah, this isn't great. It's very good. It's not good. Here's a bell it

says nice. That's a good one. That's a good one. Oh, and it's going. It keeps going. I guess we'll be right back. All right, and we are back, And I have a question for you. Do you think that the Boogeyman is real? Like like like a like a man who boogies down like it's dancing, Yeah, disco dancing. Yeah, he's very real. I guess disco died and so disco would be undead. So that's spooky, right yeah, yeah, uh yeah, there's yeah, sure, sure, yeah boom, yeah, that makes that

makes sense to me. Um, But what we are actually going to talk about is a real life boogie woogie worm who wants to kill you. Oh no, what is that? Someone in a like a I've got like a bunch of wine glasses and I'm going to town on them, you know, with the like the rims and you got do but spooky. Anyways, Yes, uh, this is the Lenomia obliqua and it is not exactly a worm, but a silkworm. Silkworms are actually the caterpillars of the giant silkworm moth.

They are found in South America and they are not used in silk production for a very good reason. So these are actually quite cute. I think they're fluffy little caterpillars with black, brown and white banding on their torso and green pine needle like hairs that's sprout all sprout out all over their bodies. And yeah, they're they're cool looking.

They look like cool caterpillars. Yeah, I wouldn't want to touch him because of the pine needle things, but they're very they're they're yeah, they're little grubs like yeah, yeah, they're also highly social and will form big groups, often huddling together on a tree trunk, and when they are startled, say by allowed sound, they will jump up in a

defensive posture. So when you have whole groups of these guys huddled together and you startle them, they'll all jump up at the same time like they're dancing, but they're not dancing. You're just kind of pissing them off. Um. Yeah, you don't want to piss them off. But I shared with you there's a video that's the durable. It's so cute. It's very cute. That is Oh my goodness, that's like when I when I startled both of my cats at the same time, they both look up. That's so cute. Yeah, no,

it's very cute. Um, it's kind of a mean thing to do because you're basically just startling these caterpillars. Um. But also, um, you probably don't want to piss them off too much because I guess I forgot to mention they are the world's deadliest caterpillar. Oh yeah, good for them. So David, you your instincts are like right on today because you're correct not wanting to touch them. Those pine needle like bristles on their bodies are actually called rdicating hairs,

and many caterpillars have them. Even other types of animals like spiders have them. Uh In fact, plants sometimes have them. So an irdicating hair is any kind of hair or bristle that sometimes they're covered in barbs or a toxin that causes irritate, shin harm, or in the case of

the Lenomia obliqua, actually death. So these hairs on this caterpillar are hollow, and each hair has a gland that dispenses a highly potent toxin that flows through these hollow hairs like little shyringes, and it's covered in these hairs, and each hair has its own little venom gland, and so touching or stepping on the caterpillar will cause you to be pricked and envenomated. The venom messes with your

blood's coagulation. Coagulation is important because it is what basically regulates your blood's ability to form clots, and clotting is important not just for like wounds outside of your body, but wounds inside, wounds inside your body like tears or rips and blood vessels, you know, damage to sells, things like that, And so if you have too much coagulation, you can form blood clots, and this is the method

of action of a lot of venom. But if you have two little coagulation, you can actually have hemorrhaging like a lot of bleeding. UM. And both of these things are quite serious, and the l obliqua UH toxin actually causes both problems. So UH, the venom contains these powerful anticoagulants, but it's not just an anticoagulant and completely messes with

your bloods coagulation process. So when it first enters the blood stream and actually can cause blood clots throughout the body, and then it causes the opposite problem by actually causing a bunch of bleeding UH. And so all this this uncontrolled bleeding, the inability to form clots inside of the body can cause things like brain hemorrhage, damage to kidneys, and it can often be fatal. So the death rate

UH is about two point five percent with treatment. Now that doesn't sound bad, right, It's like, you know, you said these are super deadly, but consider that in the US, venomous snake bites have a death rate of about point zero five percent when treated. So these things are more serious than snake bites in the US. These little guys will mess you up. They will mess you up aside from like a virus, like these feel like one of the smallest things that can kill you. Like organisms. Yeah,

I think I'm trying to think. Box jellyfish are quite small. They can also kill you. The blue spotted octopus. I guess those are probably little bigger, maybe around the same size. I don't know, maybe maybe bigger and total mass or something. Uh, those are also quite small. Palm of your hand can also kill you. Yeah, but like obviously mosquitoes can kill you, but it's not the actual mosquito. It is the the virus that they are transmitting to you, or the pathogen

that they are transmitting to you. Um, these little guys are like assassins, yeah, yeah something, yeah, yeah, I think they're actually sometimes called like assassin caterpillars. So yeah, And I remember I said like earlier, they're highly social. You saw that they formed this big group on the tree. And so the most dangerous cases of invinimation aren't like if you kind of just like touch one, it's gonna suck, it's gonna hurt really bad. You're gonna probably get bruises,

it's a bad time. Do you not ever touch these? Um, But you probably wouldn't die if you just got like one little prick from one little caterpillar. Um, if you're a grown adult, you're in for a bad time. Uh. But if you touch multiple ones all at once, that

is really a dangerous situation. And so if you like lean your hand against a tree and you're not paying attention, like say you're in Brazil, like in in the in the rainforest, and you lean against a tree and you like, um, and the tree is like this tree is awfully fuzzy, and then you look in your hand is just covered

and that is Uh, that's a really bad time. And in fact, there's been an increase in invinimations, and that is because we have been encroaching more on forest territory in places like Brazil, and so the more humans are closer to these areas where these caterpillars are, the more accidental invinimations happen, and they can be very serious. The rainforest is a lot like the ocean, where just don't go in it. That's it. Just don't go in it.

Respect it, you know what I mean. Like just like if you can visit it if you want, but like I respect it if you go in it, don't touch anything. I don't assume that's right. You gotta you gotta respect it, uh man, I yes, I I think that, Like it is a little bit of a hint for us, isn't it, Because like it's all It also sucks because I don't like the people who get you know, like the invinimated by these caterpillars, they don't like deserve it, like and

it's often children. And it's like often children because they don't have like that much spatial awareness and like they're little, and so it's a lot more serious for them. So it's like it just really sucks, Like, you know, we gotta we gotta respect nature because it's you know, we need it, and it's sometimes dangerous. I feel like this is one where like you look at this caterpillar and you kind of instinctively know, like I probably shouldn't touch

that caterpillar. So you're right, is that it feels like a lot of it's accidental because it's like you can still mess you up if you accidentally push up against it. Yeah, you just lean against the furry tree and next thing you know, you're in the hospital. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, man, they're they're adorable. But yeah, they're that's I mean again, good on them. They're taking down giants, so that's neat. But yeah, you're right, is that it's a it feels

like the people affected by this aren't necessarily meaning them all. No, no, no, like you know, like little children. Maybe they're like unaware or step on one or like touch one intentionally. But because their children, they don't know, so some of them are going to put them in their mouth. Yeah, and that can be bad as well, that that there, because then they're covered in that tox and you get that in your mouth, bad, bad stuff happening. Yeah, yeah, I

don't do that. I mean, like that's that's the point of the toxin is to ward off predators, to be like you're going to get you know, you're gonna get messed up because it causes a lot of pain to like when you when you touch it like your you

immediately know something's wrong because it's very painful. Right. It reminds me of like like stinging nettle and all those those plants where it's like yeah, yeah, I mean a lot like those, a lot of those plants they're the the stinging portion of them is actually ordicating hairs, the same kind of system that these caterpillars use, which is it's really fascinating. It's really interesting. Bugs are like meaty plants in a way, like well, like they live in

the plant world. They're very closely connected, and I feel like the they take a lot from the plant world. You know, obviously there's bugs that look like plants, but it feels like they also like that the plants can eat them and they eat plants. Like what a what a life? What relationship? Well, imagine living in a home and being like, but you can eat the walls, but watch out because every now and then the walls will also eat you. That'd be a fun home, I gotta say,

Like it would be kept on your toes. But you can eat the walls. That's great. Yeah, yeah, no, There's there's all sorts of cool relationships between bugs and plants, insects and plants, and also spiders and plants. Uh, just just an amazing kind of like, um, I've talked about this on the show before, but like a picture plant and a spider. They both these like I think they're called orchids. Spiders and spiders look kind of like flowers.

They're they're very they're very beautiful, and then they live in these picture plants and they both eat insects, and so you think that the spider, by living in the picture plant is just stealing insects from the picture plant, but actually the spider presence gives the picture plants a higher kill rate when it comes to bugs, because like essentially the spiders, if the spider doesn't like successfully catch the buget's at least like driven it into the picture

um and then uh or it will like suck out the juices from the bug, drop the rest into the picture and the picture plant can actually digest more of it than the spider can. And then when the spider dies, it actually will drop into the picture plant. And then like, you know, it's funny because they're like friends, have this great relationship, and then like the spider dies and it's like it's last gift, like I have bequeathed to you my body. Enjoy Yep, it's it's Homer eating the lobstering. Yeah,

exactly exactly. The picture plant crying. It doesn't know neither of them, no, no, neither of them know what's going on they Yeah, it's great. It's cooperation that really screw over these little flies. Um. Speaking of speaking of spiders. Actually to to um, the last sort of topic of the episode, just short little story. It's a cute little Halloween story about spiders. There are species of spiders that build Halloween decorations. Specifically, they will build giant spider effigies.

In the Peruvian Amazon as well as in Madagascar, there are these two species of Cyclosa spider. They're very small spider and they use dead bugs and other debris to build giant spider shaped sculptures on their webs. Oh is this I assume to make themselves feel like they're bigger spiders. It's a real confidence booster, you know. I've shared you at the bottom of the doc there's an image of it so you can really see it. Does it does like from a distance it would full you. It looks

like a spider, like a big old spider. Absolutely yet spider statues. Yeah, And the exact purpose of these uh sculptures is unknown. These are relatively recently discovered spiders, but the leading theory is that this is an anti predator defense system. So like there's lots of of insects or you know, other things that would love to snack on these spiders because they're little. These are like three millimeters big, um,

so they're tasty snack to a lot of predators. But they are these predators would be much less likely to try to tangle with a spider like ten times that size. And they don't realize that this huge spider is actually just a fake one built out of built out of a bunch of dead fly corpses. And so I just it's it's adorable to me, just like I'm a little guy, so I build a big spider. It's like it's like an a bug's life where they build the giant bird or it's like it's exactly a little guy just pretended

to be a bigger guy. I love it. Yeah, I mean a big don't worry about it. Yeah, I want them to like jiggle the web to make it move a little. I wonder, Yeah, that was interesting because yeah, we really don't know exactly like what they do their

behavior there, they're so recently discovered. But yeah, yeah, like god, I wouldn't I wouldn't necessarily be surprised because I know that there's there are animals that will do things like move around to make their deception more convincing, like this, there's a viper that has like a tail that kind of looks like a worm, and they'll kind of move it around like a little worm. And then a or

an insect or a spider. Oh right, there's a viper that has a tail that kind of looks like a spider, and they'll move it around in a way that makes it kind of look like a little spider scrabbling over a rock. And then a bird comes to try to eat it, and the snake just like grabs the bird man. So yeah, I'm really looking for If I read about any updates on this spider with more research coming out, I will update people about it because it's it's so good.

I just love this, the ingenuity of this little spider, Like it probably doesn't know what it's going. It's just this evolutionary like it just one started breaking dead bugs against the web got eaten less, and then the ones that had the more convincing spider look because it's it's not that hard to make this spider out of dead bugs. Because you guys got a bunch of dead bugs in the center, and then dead bugs on some of these supporting threads leading outwards from the web. And now you've

got yourself a spider, right, do you think they like? Yeah, because you're right is they don't know what they're doing. But do you think they like at first they built it out too far and they're like, no, that doesn't work for some reason because it doesn't look like a spider anymore, and so they have to like hone it in. It cannot. I can't imagine it works on an individual level um, where it is a single spider learning this process.

I highly doubt that. I think it's more in terms of evolution, where it's just it's weird to think about.

But evolution works on such an enormous scale over you know, millions of years, and then with spiders they reproduce frequently, so millions of years for spiders even longer in terms of like there how quickly they reproduce, how many generations that is, And so I can imagine it being to the point of where it is it is encouraging shaping the behavior in such a way that the spiders instinct to collect detritus and put it on the web um has just been optimally shaped to be just the right

amount so that it, uh it will protect it. But the spider itself, I don't know that there's any like that is following any template. I mean, similarly, the spider builds these amazing webs like they can. They are capable of having an instinctive pattern that they just uh go out and do, and so I think that's probably a similar thing where it's like evolution has driven them to create this like mental pattern that they are born with instinctively and then they just perform it. They don't know why,

they're just spider. They're just like dom Doon spider stuff. This feels like, this just feels right, it just works. They're like they could be a spider serial killer because this is the equivalent of us like making a human statue using bones. Yeah we did that though, like the catacombs, the Parisian Catapacombs just like built a bunch like chandeliers out of bones, a bunch of board monks and stuff like yeah. They really They're like they got we did it.

We did the bones stuff. We did that. Society were like, let's let's do let's have our bone run. Let's just see what we can build out of bones. It's like if you play Minecraft and you're like I'm gonna make a dirt palace just for fun like that. That's yeah. We're like, let's let's do bones. Yeah. It's like it's like when you have when someone's board, they will do make art out of whatever they have. And so these like board monks and these like catacombs. It's like, I

don't know what we got. We got a bunch of bones. Yeah, uh, let's do something. Yeah. Are we so different from from the spiders? Not really just fewer legs and arms and relics, but then we're essentially exactly the same. Honestly, God, I love spiders. I I had a little bit of a fly invasion, like these drain flies because I went on vacation and they're like, ah, nobody's here. I'm gonna like find some water somewhere, and like just a bunch of drain flies came and then there was like this big

pile of dead, dead drain flies. It's like, excellent. I love to see that because I hate these drain flies. And then I look up and there's just this very fat, satisfied little spider. I'm like, dude, I love you, man

A great time. I'm happy enough to sweep up your It's essentially it's like someone you know, eating a bunch of chips or drinking a bunch of cants and coat of coke and just like dropping them down, real suck the juices out of these flies and then just drop the carcass down and man, I will I will tidy up for you because I appreciate you. This is great. Yeah, I wish I would chips were like a pest for somebody else. I wish I got applauded every eight chips A good job. God, someone had to get rid of

those chips like a race of giants. AND's like, we're sick of these delicious meritoes. Exactly, can someone eat these doritas? I'm your guy, I got this for you. Yeah, that would be great. A symbiotic relationship based on our ability to love doritos. Oh I want it. I want it so bad. Well, before we go, we've got to play a little game. Do you want to play a little game? Oh? Oh my god, that gentleman does not want to play a game. Yeah, that was a button on. This's just

called Torture, which is again best best soundboard ever. Um, this game is called Yes, Who's squawk? And it's the Mystery Animal sound game. Every week I play a mystery animal sound and you the listener, and hey, you the gifts, trying to guess who is squawking? So is it any animal or any can you literally any animal? I won't trick you and do a plant, but yes, any animal? Alright, So last week's hint was you've been lied to. These guys don't have wings, alright, so can you guess who

is squawking? You've been lied to? They don't have wings. I'm trying to think of what food buffalo? You are correct, Yes, this is the African buffalo. It is found in sub Saharan Africa. Yeah, and so they are not to be confused with the American bison. Yeah. This is actually also not an ancestor of like domesticated cows. This is a separate sort of line. Um, but yeah it. Uh. What

I like about these guys is they're literally undomesticatable. They're so ordery and unpredictable that humans just kind of gave up. They're just like, no, they're what. They're like the worms, where we're like, yeah, they're just they're just the worms. But in Yeah, just like these huge, huge buffalo with horns. Um, they don't like to be messed with, and we gave up on ever trying to domesticate them. Yeah, I appreciate that.

I mean buffalo, they had some trouble. They were hunted a lot, but I like the current state where it's like, it's my favorite thing about places like Yellowstone where you hear like a tourist mald and the response is like, yeah, you shouldn't have gotten near. Yeah, and so those are actually American. I know we called buffalo, but they're actually they're bison. Yes, and we say like where the buffalo rowan blah blah blah, but yeah, those are those are

American bison. They look somewhat similar the bison, or shaggier the African bugfalow doesn't typically have that shaggy coat. It's horns are a little different. They have more of them, like a handlebar mustache on top of their heads that. But yeah, no, they I mean American bison do well.

Like if people like I think they can just like walk up to them and like because they're fluffy and you know, we don't think of herbivores as being dangerous, but then the bison is just like, oh honey, I gotta I gotta teach you a lesson and just toss you I who worked at Yellowstone. And there's very much this idea of like national parks are also theme parks, and it's like they are not. There are places where you will die and and you can't sue anybody for that.

You can't just go Yeah, can't see a bison, You can't to a buffalo. African buffalo are are similarly dangerous. They will kill over two hundred people a year either by trampling goring them, so they are not to be trifled with. Yeah, don't go near him unless you really think you have a connection to one, right, and you're like, oh this one, this one will let me ride it.

If you've written your will out, settled all your affairs and you look one in the eye, actually know if the buffalo speaks to you says like it's okay, Dave, you can come here, it's a it is definitely going to murder you and be like, yeah, like, multiple things are going wrong. If that right, you have to be very concerned, Right dad, it's fine, and you have to wonder like what was the last thing I ate drink, uh and then try to ride it. Yeah, it's got

those horns. You can hold them like an r. Yes, you can definitely hold them with your tour, so having them inside of your tours, so going right through it. So but good job, good guessing you. You absolutely nailed that one. Well you nailed it with the clue. I was like, what doesn't have wings when we say has wings? I was like, chickens, No, they have wings, they have chicken fly No? No, yeah, but yeah, you know buffalo wings actually from a chicken. Weird, right, Yeah, it's like

how Greenland is kind of icy. It's icy. Yeah, I don't know why. I don't know what the deal is. What's the deal. What's the deal? Anyways, Congratulations again to Bob and to Steven M for gissing correctly that this was the buffalo onto. This week's mystery animal sound hint is just happy Halloween. Oh than her horror like a walk a walk a walk ever horror, walk a walk a walk all right, so that I assume that Fozzy Bear drunk. It's the dark Fozzy Bear tapes that they

don't want you to hear. Walk a walk, A walk, A walk, walk a walk, a walk terrifying it is actually an animal not a human being. Do I get to guess? Yeah? Absolutely, And if you're right, I will bleep you out. Okay, I'm guessing it's because well I won't explain why. Well, you are absolutely correct, so you will be bleeped out. I I do want to mention at the end there was a little meal that was in fact actually a cat. I guess the person recording also has a cat. Uh, and so like a cat

just starts me owing. These things happens, happen, you know, as a cat owner. Yeah, And I feel like any anytime someone has like a weird animal, there's always a cat there in the background, Like that's that's just something they have too. Yeah, yeah, it's just cash. Yeah. Cats are not impressed by other animals. I've noticed that about them generally speaking. Like if you put a polar bear in front of a cat, the cat's gonna bat at it. It's like it doesn't care. It absolutely doesn't care what

it is. You've seen like cat meeting a dolphin and it just sniffs it and it's it's like whatever, man, Like they just don't care. What I love is that other creatures will genuinely like you've seen cats chase bears on YouTube, they'll genuinely go ah. So that makes me think cats are like the spiders of the mammal world, where they're like, yeah, those things freak me out. They're the hagfish of ye of the mammal world. Like other

animals just don't want to deal with them. Yep, it's much and humans for some reason are like, well, I'll introduce this thing to my life. Yeah, why not put this wild animal in my house? Well, Dave, thank you so much for coming to this minisode, to this spectacular. I really appreciate it. I hope you're having a good Halloween. Find you well. First of all, thanks for having me on. I quite enjoyed being on this. UM. I rarely plug my Twitter, so I will at Movie Hooligan is my

Twitter handle. UM. I do a podcast series, as you mentioned with Tom Ryman, called Gamefully Unemployed g A M E f U l O Y Unemployed. Wherever you get your podcasts you can find that, and we mostly do movies. In fact, we almost exclusively do movie stuff and TV and entertainment. Uh so, yeah, we have a podcast where we go over the trailers of the week. We have a review podcast where we watch a movie every week and so one, so check that out. Absolutely check it out.

It is a great podcast network. And hey, thank you guys so much for joining me here enjoying the podcast, and you leave me a review. I read every single one of your reviews. Uh, and I won't lie to you. I like the good reviews, the best um um. But yeah, and hey, you know what. Thanks to the Space Classics for their super awesome song Exo. Alumina. Creature features a

production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts like the one you just heard, visit the I Heart Radio app Apple podcast or Hey guess what where have you listen to your favorite shows? Hey guys, have us Spooky holloween. It's a dog here, this spooky dog who is Spooky Boy.