Australia

Just to note, as we make jokes on the show, we're trying to use humor to cope with this very awful situation, but my heart is truly broken by the destruction to both human communities and animal habitat and the loss of irreplaceable life. I will also include some information on how you personally can help. Thank you guys so much. I know this is a topic that is extremely important and close to the hearts of many of my listeners out there. Welcome to Creature future production of I Heart Radio.

I'm your host of Many Parasites, Katie Golden. I studied psych oology and evolutionary biology. I'm pro bird, writes on Twitter, and I'm definitely a human and not a sentient flock of birds. Today on the show, I want to talk about Australia, home to some of my favorite animals in the world. As you may know, Australia is facing a human and ecological crisis right now as fires ravage across Australia, especially in New South Wales and Victoria, Australia's southeast coast.

We'll talk about the cause of these fires, how it's affecting humans and animals in the area, and how human activity has influenced this disaster. Then we'll talk about one of Australia's most iconic animals, the koala, as well as a whole bunch of other incredible animals found only in Australia. Discover this and more as we answer the age old question does Mom's poop taste the best because she makes it with love? So? The Australian bushfires have had a

monumental cost. At least twenty five people have been killed, over two thousand homes have been destroyed, and thousands of people have been displaced. Hundreds of millions of animals have died in the fires, and over eight million hectares of land have been destroyed. To visualize this, imagine about a fifth of California being burned while wildfires due corregularly during Australia's fire season. The scale and duration of these fires are shaping up to be the worst on record. But

this is no random happenstance. Australia is experiencing its highest temperatures and driest weather on record, a trend that has been predicted by climate scientists as being a result of

climate change. Despite all this, and the fury of Australians who are seeing their homes burning before their eyes, the response of the current administration has been shockingly aloof Australia's Prime Minister, Scott Morrison of the right wing Liberal Party, is getting a lot of, let's say, strong criticism for his inaction regarding the fires, in climate change in general. Joining me today to talk Koala's Kangaroos and inept government

responses to ecological crisis is criticis crices? Crises is Comedian plat Let's lover hosted The Junk Show and The Space Cave podcast David Hauntsberger, WHOA I never know how to pronounce I don't like the word crisis. Prices always feels like it's missing one thing. Crises something like that. Yeah, I'm happy, help me. I'm in the middle of a crisises. I do like crisses. It makes it sound a little,

it brings a little levity to it. Yeah, and I don't know how much you want to reveal to your listeners, but you're really doing Someone used this term recently. I don't fully know what it means, like Yeoman's work, and I feel like you're really as far as putting out a podcast really Um, hopefully they appreciate how much effort you are putting into, like battling an illness. You can do all this reason. I think they can maybe hear me coughing, so they probably do know, um that I

am sick. I also, I mean, my voice is slowly getting better. But yeah, last time, I think I sounded a little. It's a little raspier than normal. I actually kind of like it, um, when not coughing, the voice having that kind of raspy thing. I've always felt like I sound normally kind of mouse like, So like getting that raspy voice makes me feel a little more mature. Yeah, every you need a break from your own voice every now and again, you know, right. Gruff version there's a

cool version of me. Well, so, typically this podcast isn't super like politics focused, but I feel like we kind of have to talk about some of the politics around the Australian fires because it's just it's so right now in the world, as as we're going through climate change in massive ecological destruction. It's I can't disappoint to the fires and be like, wow, look at those fires. Those

are weird. Huht. Anyways, almost a billion animals are dying, you know, and I think that kind of to start off, I want to give just the unadulterated opinion of the Australian firefighters. This is, I think, in a extremely important opinion and very well stated. Here we go, hell the Prime Minister, it go and get from Nelligan. We really enjoy doing this. He so yeah, I think that is

some well placed anger. And and then there's another firefighter who gives her opinion as well, Jacket that govern give knew this coming. It's been coming for a few years. You have been probing or a problem and now we're wearing you're all problems. So you know, I think that they have a point. I think the the anger at the current administration is I think it's like that aloofness that that people are sensing of, like, you know, this

is a big deal. People are losing their homes, they're losing their lives, Animals are in devastating numbers dying, and yet the Australian government kind of doesn't seem too fussed about it. Um and it's it's also over so the Prime Minister Scott Morrison, it's been pretty lackluster, let's say, over climate change in addressing the fire season. So but that's not to say that Australians as a whole are

not don't care. They do very much. So in December, over twenty thousand Australians took to the streets in Sydney wearing masks to protect themselves from smoke pollution to protest the government's refusal to address climate change. And you'd think that Australia, of all countries, would be very concerned with client change because it's basically a big tinder box. It's the California of the world and things are going great

here as far as fire as we hardly have them. Yeah, you know, I have a big box of face masks with that filter out particulate matter for just for fashion, for no particular reason, get it, no particular reason exactly. So, despite the seriousness of climate change, Australia was ranked last on the list of fifty seven countries regarding climate change policy. Guess who was just like they were right behind. You'll never guess. This is tough. It's definitely not US. We're

pretty good. I mean it's not US. It's actually pronounced us um. So yeah. Anyways, welcome to our roast of Australia's Prime minister. Something I'm sure people were expecting to hear on an animal's podcast. But again, this is extremely important because I think that we need to point out that when you have you know, hundreds of millions, perhaps even a billion animals have died, it's not just it's not just like a random thing like well, I guess

this happens. That human activity can make a big impact. And uh, you may think like, well, what can you do about wildfire? Those are natural? How could you prevent it? Well, a lot of people saw this coming. So first of all, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has rejected calls to combat climate change. He does not want to shift from coal to renewable energy,

and he's threatened to outlaw forms of environmental protest. He is trying to ban protesters from pressure and companies to stop doing business with the coal industry and other industries with high carbon costs to the environment. So basically to ban boycotts or to band like like a peaceful form of protest, he said, quote new threats to the future of the resources sector have emerged. A new breed of radical activism is on the march. Apocalyptic in tone. It

brooks no compromise, it's all or nothing. And this is really ironic when you think when you see Australia burning, the skies are red, and it's like new threats to the future of the resources sector. And then it's like you just see country burning down. I mean it's it's you know, it's it's an insane kind of misplacement of where your concern should be where It's like, these climate activists are like, hey, you know, we want to live in a planet, and you're like, but what about the

coal industry. He brought like a lump of coal to Parliament. He's like, this is coal, don't be afraid of it. It's like, oh my god, my kind of guy. I like that. He puts like Google eyes on the coal. He's like, look at me. I'm I'm Calvin the coal, and you want to be in me. No, but close. It doesn't seem that crazy or far fetched. If you're willing to bring it in to begin with, the voice might have happened. It seems like, don't be in me. I'm just a little cool fluck. I'm just living down there.

It's so dark. Thank you for breaking the line. Oh man, oh god, yeah, we're we're all going to die anyways. Um, some of these guys think, sorry to know you continue that though, But it feels like some of these people who are trying to impress the co industry, the fossil fuel world, I feel like, maybe in a future not that far off, maybe not even that many people are dead, but the landscape, the environment is ravished. It's just devastated.

But everyone's standing there with bags of money and there's just smoldering ashes everywhere around us. Do they feel like people will be psyched at that point? Built will rebuild the trees out of money. That's a good point. Money trees, just like big stacks of bills with branches, will will build money. Koalas with two quarters for eyes. And then when people say money doesn't grow on treats, like we know they are trees, right, they are just they are trees.

It is the trees. And then we all die because we don't have any Now we learned how to breathe money just this whole new ecosystem. I didn't. I didn't consider the possibility that money could just, you know, rather than being carbon based life forms, we could just be

cash based Zuckerbuck based life forms. Bitcoin. I like it. Yeah. Anyways, So Australians are also angry at the Australian government for ignoring warnings about how bad this fire season was going to be and lots of people, lots of experts, and uh,

we're warning them about this for a long time. Former Fire and Rescue New South Wales Commissioner Greg Mullins said that the Prime Minister ignored a group of thirty retired emergency services leaders who back in April of nineteen called for more funding in preparation for what they wore, what they warned would turn out to be a terrible fire season. Well, thank god they weren't right about that. Have you seen Chernobyl?

I I can't deal with it. I've actually read. I read a whole thing about Chernobyl and in the effects of radiation poisoning in people's skin falling off, so I can't watch it. It's just as visceral to I mean, it's worth what you just thought of when you read that. It's just seeing the visual representation of that. That's essentially what the show is. But there is such a perfect

scene of the CATASTROPHEUS happened. There's a helicopter being dispatched by the head people, you know, the head of the government Russian authority, sending one of their administrators, basically a lead physicist, and then just a pilot of the helicopter. The pilot is us humanity, just the average the public, and then the other person is dictated by money and

or doing what they're told to do. And then the scientist is just screaming like, do not fly over that smoke peopill kill us all, and the money guys going just go have fly right over it. And then we are the pilot like, well, this guy seems like he knows what he's talking about, but I'm I'm paid by this guy. And it feels like whenever these stories happen, that is hopefully humanity has gone soon because we're just

atrocious to the planet. And I always ask people on my podcast if you could press a button that just instantly removed humans, we you press it and most people say no almost but wait, but I'm wait in a minute. This Australia story is just a little diluted sample of what all of the end of it is going to be. Where we're going to be in real chaos and the people that are against it right now, we're gonna be going You should have said something. I hate that when

every single day sharing articles. I think that's what these fire rescue people are feeling now as they say, you know, they tell the Prime Minister to go duck himself. You know that's h or sorry, go get ducked. I love that. I love that guy. So, I mean, I know he's in I don't want to make fun of the very valid pain that he's in there, but I just that

is it's like poetry to hear him say that. So I mean, as I'm talking about the aloof response of the Australian Prime Minister and government, just imagine a slide show of all those koalas with the their pause burned and with the little um bandages. I'm sorry, I know it's a downer, but it it's just the juxtaposition of that. And so these um fire rescue experts wrote to the Prime Minister and asked for a meeting, but he and

his group were completely ignored. And four years ago, the Aerial Firefighting Center they may know something about firefighting, it is in the name. They asked for funding to create a national large air tanker fleet to combat the increasingly serious bushfires. The government turned them down, saying, quote, the Australian Government does not support this recommendation, noting that bushfire responsibility is a matter for each state and territory. Well,

isn't that nine. That's perfect cool, that's not our problem. That seems like it will be likely happening here. Remember what was it the bears your monument in Utah? They removed federal protection from just the state, saying and then the clock is just ticking until X mobile makes some sort of catastrophic error there it is. Yeah, it is happening that the and these uh protected lands are removing their status of protection. Endangered species are losing their status

is protected species? Uh you know, blink and you'll miss it, like it's it's happening here too. I think that this is not like me wagging my finger at Australia going shame, because like, it's happening here too. It's it's happening in in South America and in Brazil. It's happening all over the world. So this is this is uh, you know, Australia is sort of the koala in the coal mine or the so to speak. Um. But yeah, it's not

not something we can feel high and mighty about. He just a couple of other things to to make you hate this Prime Minister. He refused to pay volunteer firefighters for their massive extra efforts. And he also just went on a vacation to Hawaii and then lied about it and said he wasn't there, Like while he was there, his office was like, no, he's not in Hawaiian. Maybe he's like instagramming himself. He was like loving it here in Hawaii. Um, but it doesn't sound remotely familiar, sounds

like sounds weird. Nothing. I can't imagine being led by someone like this conversation is literally killing me. You're really a trooper just muscling. I have to do it. For the koalas. My suffering is for the koalas. It wasn't the old kind of thinking. And this is my old I mean five or ten years ago that once it got to sort of charismatic megafauna, then that's when people kind of care and he stepped prior to that. Oh, I guess we don't need that little insect or whatever

it was that was in that ecosystem that's gone. Now. That's an incredibly good point and it's something that we do talk about on the podcast, which is that people don't necessarily care about, say, you know, insects and vertebrates, um. Then a step up from that reptiles, fish, snakes, even like like birds like it doesn't which offends me on

a deep level. I'm a huge leve of birds. But then once you start to get to these iconic species like the koala, people see that, and I think it really you know, I think it sinks in with people once they see the koala, maybe you know, leaving the planet, you you try to imagine a planet without the koala. It's like it's easy to imagine the planet without a species of insect that you've never even heard of, you know, the the five footed blue bumble snout bug, which is

actually integral to our ecosystems. Without it, we'd all be dead. But um, but you know, you think about, okay, what about a world with new koalas or you know, no no pandas or you know like these things, and it's going to happen like we're going probably within our life lifetimes where we'll see it a species, not necessarily the koala, but um an iconic species go extinct. That it will

kind of, you know, be a huge blow. But I think it's important to recognize that because it's like maybe maybe there will be some good from this and that it'll actually kind of shake some people out of their stupor. And I'm really hoping. Um, So let's let's talk a little bit about Australia's ecology and what is at risk here. Like I said, the estimates of animals that have died ranged from five million to a billion, which is I

can't even picture that. It's uh. And you know, animals include also not just like kality sized animals, but all sorts of animals ranging in size and and so you know that it's also something where a lot of animals might die after the fires because of drought, loss of habitat, lack of resources, so they can they can actually die of thirst as well or die of their injuries later. So I don't even I don't even think we know

what the cost is right now. So the bush slams of Australia are home to some of the most iconic and important species of animals and plants, and they're of huge cultural significance to Australians. It's just it's that it is Australia. The bushlands. They aren't called the bush because there it's just a bunch of bushes. They're defined as being land that is a remnant natural area, meaning it contains undisturbed native flora and fauna. The bush can refer

to both forests with trees and also scrub land. Sevent of Australia is made up of forests. So there are eight main national forest types in Australia, named after the predominant trees found in each forest. So there's the acacious uh Calitras uh Kazarina eucalypt which that's kind of the iconic one, the ones that Koala's love, mangrove and Mala luca, and rainforests and other I love other trees, you know,

the famous other trees and sort of indescribable generics. Yeah, I carved my initials into another tree when I was a kid, and I like to go back and yeah, just check it out. They've turned into other initials. But when I was a kid, it's the vagaries of these trees that's so beautiful. Yes, So Australia is also home to eight percent of the world species of living living beings. So of their flora, of their mammals, and of their invertebrates,

and fort pent of their birds are endemic to Australia. Now, endemic sounds like a bad word. It sounds like you're going to get sick from this word, but it actually just means life that is found only in that area. So koalas are endemic to Australia um and they're not found anywhere else in the world. So they have three thousand unique species of vertebrates and eighteen thousand unique species of plant. It's it's brimming with with life. It's a

really wonderful, uh bio diverse area. And like we were talking about earlier, just a battle here, folks fighting her way through this episode it's it's actually I'm getting in character as a koala who's in handling smoke. Sorry. Sorry, Yeah, it's important to note that it's not just the famous animals like the koala and the cuddly, cute, iconic animals that are at risk. So lots of reptiles, insects, um, things that maybe you don't think about, are at risk

of extinction. We we don't even know. We have no idea what's happening with a lot of these endangered and threatened species right now. It's it's a pretty scary position to be in. But the endangered bog skink is a type of lizard who is at risk of extinction in the wake of the fires. These skinks are a really cool species of lizard that gives birth to live babies. So, you know, I think that's that's pretty neat. I didn't know that could happen. Yeah, how is that possible? Well,

they they poop poop them out alive. They're egg based. No, no, I mean a lot of you know, reptiles and fish can give live birth as well. So it's a I know, I always like to think of this is like a far side thing or something. But two species of reptile meeting each other and being like, oh you you think about having kids and then then being like yeah, yeah, how are you gonna do it? We're an egg family, so like alive, have you tried going plus cential? It's

just marvelous. Just there's mammals are onto something. I'm telling you. There's also the endangered corobory tree frog that is threatened with endangerment or extinction. Um. These are colorful yellow poison as frogs. And you know you've seen a poison tree frog. Beautifully vibrant, not good to eat, um, not good to touch necessarily. But these ones are unique in that they're able to produce their own poison rather than making it from the food they get, which is different from most

other species of poison tree frogs. So they're proud of that. I feel it's like it's like I got your got your poison from from your food? Huh, Well mine is homemade. Going off to eat some food to make poison, I'll be here making it on my I like how I like your lore of these reptiles and amphibians sort of being like, uh like sort of like yuppy millennial couple, sort of sort of going around Westwood or I'm like, hmm, yes, so I make my own poison that small batch. That's cute.

We did that a few years ago. But yeah, even species that don't go extinct will suffer massive population losses, which will reduce their genetic diversity, and that's really important for their survival because that makes it harder for them to cope with disease, habitat loss, drought. Now they're just unpredictable environmental problems. So it's you know, but this is the fun comedy podcast about cute animals. How much do you get into the philosophical side of things on this show?

I mean to deal with this. What are your thoughts on what this means? I think, well, my feeling is, and of course this seems very bleak, and it is I'm not gonna lie to you, but I think that we need to kind of confront the reality of it, the problems that are happening, that the sad things that are happening, understand them, understand what's going on, and then not try not to hang onto the sadness, try to hang on to the fact that these are incredible animals.

We have an incredible planet, and we actually can turn things around, Like these wildfires weren't inevitable. Like wildfires and general are they happen, They're not necessarily bad. But the we didn't know about these wildfires that they were going to be especially bad. We could have made preparations. Unfortunately it's too late this season, but it's not too late

for next season. I think that we have to confront the bad and celebrate the good and then kind of, you know, keep keep going like I don't want people to listen to this and just feel really discouraged and devastated like this we aren't yet at the point of no return. We can definitely help out. And we'll also talk about Koala's and how cute they are, so don't hold hold onto your butts people, it's gonna get a lot cuter um. But yeah, I mean, Koala's have suffered

massive losses um. And the area that's being burned is very important to the Koala in New South Wales. It represents a huge, very important part of their habitat um. And there's um. Well, come to cough cast where you just hear my esophagus get torn up. There aren't enough cough podcasts cough casts. Yeah, it's it's too bad that true crime is kind of like soaking up the market for the cough cast industry. I like a certain number

of crime podcasts otherwise, but not enough coughing. Not enough coughing. But yeah, so well, well we're gonna we're gonna talk about those little fuzz balls in just a minute, and I don't there's there's some encouraging news about it, some things that are scary, but all in all, they're very cute. And we're going to also talk about their poop, which is exciting. I heard you say something about mom's poop. We're gonna get into it. We're thing. I thought that

was a weird non sequity. There's no non sequiturs here. Can ecosystems come back after fires? Often the answer is actually yes. Wildfires are a natural occurrence and can even help forests regrow. Aboriginals in Australia have used firestick farming and cold fire controlled burns for thousands of years, which is thought to help thin out the bush and prevent larger,

more destructive fires from occurring. However, the planet is changing and the hotter temperatures, drier climates, and larger, uncontrollable infernos due to climate change presents a bleak picture. Research indicates that forests that were once able to bounce back after a wildfire are no struggling. Forest sites with no signs of regrowth have doubled since the year two thousand, which

is attributed to hotter temperatures and increasing droughts. Animals may also face greater challenges and surviving wildfires, and may not be able to have the same success stories as they have in the past. For instance, the agile antiqu kindness and Australian marsupial, who looks like a little shrewd, suffered a seventy drop in its population following the two thousand nine fires, but over three years it managed to completely

regrow its population. However, with hotter, more destructive fires and drought, animals who survived the fire may find too much of their habitat has been destroyed and there are too few resources for their populations to completely recover, and survival techniques such as the brush tail possum, who hides out in tree hollows during fires, will no longer be viable, as repeat destruction weakens trees to the point that these shelters collapse.

I don't mean to sound like too much of a debby downer, but I think it's important to know that while nature can be extremely resilient, we can't take that ability to recover for granted, or assume that the natural world will be able to bounce back after repeated blows. That's why it's so critical that we take action to help Mother nature out. Think of it like Rocky. It's been a great fighter getting back up after multiple blows.

But we've got to be like Mickey and have its back and prop it back up and cut open Mother Nature's big, old, gross busted eye. All Right, maybe that's a bad analogy, but you get the idea. When we return, we're going to learn some quality facts. You're gonna learn koal of what there is. We're talking about koality. Yep, that's what we're doing now. I want to spend some couality time talking about one of Australia's most iconic animals, the koala. Koalas are one of the many animals being

threatened by Australia's bushfires. You may have heard that koalas are functionally extinct, but I'm happy to say that reports of their extinction have been greatly exaggerated. Koalas are being threatened by these bushfires. That much can't be overstated. Their conservation status is listed as vulnerable, meaning they're not yet endangered, but they are on their way down that path if

things don't change. As frightening as this is. I think it's also important to highlight some of the wonderful things humans are doing in an attempt to help out the koala. People all over Australia and all over the world are trying to save this much love Marsupial through rescue efforts, including some real a cute ones. Quilters in the Netherlands are making protective mittens for koalas whose paws have been burned in the fires, and pouches to serve as a

home for orphan koalas. Families have been loading their cars full of injured koalas to drive them to animal hospitals. People have been offering dehydrated koala's drinks from their water bottles, and koala rescue organizations have been tirelessly treating injured and bird koalas. While it's true that each action alone is not enough to make up for the damage done to the koala population, I think this outpouring of concern and help shows that most of us really do care about

the world around us. Now, if we can get enough people on board, we may be able to learn a lesson from this devastating event and realize how important it is for us to agitate for ecological protections to save these wonderful animals. So let's learn a bit about this noble koala, who is as fascinating a creature as it is adorable, and we will definitely get into discussing their food.

So don't worry about that great so kouala. What are they? Well, I'm glad you have so Koalas are marsupials endemic to Australia. Uh they Their closest living relatives are the wombats. Another doofy bumbly looking animal. You've ever you've seen a wombat? Right now? Oh? Boy, you got to see a wombat? I know the name a lot? Uh you got no shape is coming to mind? Here's the shape? Oh yeah, okay, I've seen that. It's the shape is how would you

describe that shape? Like a I like when? Um, if you ever trying to design like characters for a cartoon or something, you just you have to have certain anthropomorphic qualities, so you know, uh, and then teddy bear esque kind of things. This feels like a jam pack of certain like kind of a bare body, a little bit of poo bear. Yeah, like a bare body, kind of a al one in the chipmunk's head. But then the head also has like Pomeranian qualities or something. It's a it's

a very cute, cute animal. And do you know what a koala looks like? Yeah, koala, I'm more familiar. Yes, yes, they've got that nice cute it's not really a button knows, it's more of a big old honker, but it's it's very cute. They got those big tufted ears and they look like sleepy little balls of flu from that is

essentially what they are. So that's what I want an animal, right, just where people that have like hairless cats, they would defend them and be like they're great, certainly not diminishing your love or the the hairless cat in general. However, I think there's something that is invoked in more people than others, which is like cuddly, chubby fluffiness. Right, it's adorable.

I mean, it's the difference between to me like a nice soft couch, and like a leather couch that your legs get stuck to, you know, Like the leather couch can be sort of regal and nice to look at, but I don't want to sit on it. Yeah, I want to go collapse into that fluffy thing. If if I if, I would rather have a couch made out of koalas than a couch made out of hairless cats. But don't make couches out of koalas. I just the

cruella devil of koalas. My bumper sticker says, I like my couches like I like my koalas, and then it doesn't have a finish. People know they can kind of yeah yeah, although you could also be like, what like your couches like eucalyptus anyways, so they can wag up to about thirty pounds, so they're they're big boys. Yeah, big boys and girls. And they grow up to thirty inches, so you know they're they're handful. Yeah. What I'd love is if they could walk around on their hind legs

and act like it wasn't a big deal. Yeah, just like Karen little briefcases. They can get up on their hind legs it. When they do it, it is a big deal, very big. They look around, they do the little applause. If you had to choose between owning a wombat koala, which would you go with? Owning wild animals? Is wrong, David. This is a different world, the better world than this one where you don't even own it. It just kind of lives in your house and doesn't

pay rent. Honestly, I won't. It's a good question. I I think maybe. Oh god, it's so hard because on one hand, wombats poop and little cubes, and that would make cleaning up after them really fun because you could make like sort of a lego structure out of the poop and that'd be super fun. On the other hand, Koala's sleep all the time, so I feel like it'd be really easy to take care of them because they just like sleep about eighteen to twenty two hours a day.

Um yeah, I don't know. I could do both, like bring them on, give me both of them. So, like I said, koala sleep for most of the day. Because their diet of eucalyptus leaves are extremely difficult to digest. It's an interesting choice in terms of it being their main diet because they are super toxic those leaves. So eucalyptus leaves are very toxic. Likely it has developed as a defensive weapon against insects. It's basically saying like, hey,

these leaves aren't good, don't eat them. And koalas are like, hold my, hold my beer. Yeah, I'll show you what's hard to eat. Yeah. Uh. And koalas have adapted to neutralize eucalyptus leave toxins. So first of all, they're kind of picky about which tree they pick. So some trees are more toxic than others, depending on the soil they grow on. So a koala will SNIFFI leave and be like, no,

this isn't for me. What I love about this process is that they must be I procrastinate quite a lot, right, but I don't have the benefit of needing eighteen hours of sleep per day to really lean on. But a koala can get into one, maybe two trees smelling leaves and then see one a little bit away. I'm gonna tag you tomorrow. It's ambitious for an animal that sleeps

most of the day. I would say, really need to eat, but I'm going to get to that one tomorrow now, when I when I sleep most of the day, let me say I'm a little less finicky with my food. I get up and basically the first thing my hand touches I put in my mouth. Sometimes it's food and

that works out well for me. The genome in the koala that codes for detoxifying proteins in the digestive system is twice as long as in other mammals, so they've got a serious situation set up to deal with these leaves. It also is represented anatomically, that's yeah, anatomically. Uh. Their fiber digesting organ in the intestines, called the secum, is much longer than in other mammals, including humans. We do

have a secum, but we cannot eat Eucalyptus leads. We just we are sikum is real wimpy compared to a koala. Would you trade, say, like a really cool secum so you could have like a party trick can go any party and like how old that pizza? Give me that? Or would you rather have a hairless cat? Oh the scum definitely? Yeah, yeah, I think so, because then I mean the hairless cat is cool. They're there, but you also have to really be careful cleaning them in the maintenance.

But with a secum, I could just be a garbage disposal as I've always dreamed of being. Same. This scum is also it's like a big old balloon of helpful bacteria that breaks down the plant fibers. So but they still have to sleep a long time to digest all this food. So that's why they sleep so long, because they're just they're eating garbage and digesting garbage all day long. If you think of things being designed from like a code standpoint, like writing out DNA and Okay, these ones

are gonna need this much sleep. They're gonna walk on two feet and all right, send it out. This packaging is ready. It feels like the Koala is kind of like a model you wouldn't enjoy. It's interesting you would mention that because I'm not a professional code or I don't know too much about it. But it does make me think of like a coder who's like, okay, and then I'm going to add this, and then I'm gonna like steal some code from this and add that on.

It's like there was not like a sleek design from the beginning. It was sort of like and maybe different developers working on it to like many different developers working on the koala, and then like all the notes are messed up and like missing brackets everywhere. Because this is an interesting animal. It seems like they've definitely if they had a deadline, they were like, are you getting closely in? How you doing? Like you wouldn't believe how great this

um digestive system is. Put in some work like cool? What else? Hey, it's I mean it coold some a little cool ears. And then because I put some switch work, it needs to sleep basically its whole life right And also, oh, I forgot to mention, Yeah, we're going to have to make the ab crawl from the vagina to the pouches. That cool? H So why kangaroos their babies, which are called Joey's, are born tiny pinking about the size of a kidney bean, and they have to crawl from the

vagina up the koala into the koala's pouch. So it's a real It's like the most activity they'll do in their entire life. I learned some of that stuff about marsupials in the last couple of years. It was a thought I'd never really had, Like what's that pouch doing born in the punch, so they have to make and the mom doesn't go, let's get you in this pouch just like scoop it up. No, it's gotta it's gotta really pull itself up by its bootstraps. Buy it some

biblical cord. Yep, why don't we make our newborn babies work that hard? You know, just like just like pull yourself up by your biblical cord. I you start a college fund when I have the doctor set it up, you set you set it on the floor, crawl to meat, get over here, you get over here. It's like like, well, why don't you push for a change out there? So

they will stay in the pouch for up to seven months. Uh. And while they're in the pouch, they do drink milk from the mother, but they also eat their mother's poop and it's a special poop made with motherly love. So the look of joy on your face currently, this is my favorite fact about them. It's it's so messed up and it's so wonderful at the same time. It's heartwarming and disgusting. So I like, go, ah, but you look like you're telling someone about an off menu item at

a very delicious restaurant. This is exactly what that is, off off menu, off off off menu. So the joey will stick its head out of the pouch blankets brilliant blue eyes into the world, and then stick that face right against its mom's but so it nuzzles its mother's butt, and the mother releases a special poop slurry called PAP which is full of proteins and helpful bacteria that helps the joey grow and to develop its gut flora for digesting eucalyptus leave. So it's basically like a protein shake.

I don't know how much you believe in reincarnation and things like that. And we see koala's think they're so cute. But imagine you go from being a human and then you're in some sort of weird middle space and then you you re emerge and you kind of it's like the birth canal and you come out like this looks like the bush. Did I think this means I lived a good life. I'm like out in nature, I'm getting rewarded.

And then you're just buried in kala, you know, And then it gets worse than than poop starts coming as simply lifestyled down towards you, and you like, I eat this. Who I didn't kill anyone in my last life. I can think of worse, worse lives that actually, but it's not a winner. Maybe it is the sleep though maybe later like if I okay, so payment for being able to sleep twenty two hours a day eating a little bit of mom poop that tastes good, and it probably

tastes great to them. They're probably like, this is the best mom poop I've had ever. I guess they're here. Are people that that that is a sexual activity? Okay, yeah, well you know, but this is a wholesome poop eating activity. This is a this is a from a mother's love, Joey. I used to think that the grossest thing was birds vomiting into their children's but this is ten times more. I don't know if it's a matter of perspective, a matter of perspective puns. I do it to hurt people

because I hurt so um. Speaking of well, weird things that happen with koalas um like other marsupials, male koalas have a two pronged penis, and that's a marsupial thing. Just a marsup just marsupial. Things to do you do you have a two pronged penis, then you might be marsupial. If you have two prongs, then if you have three vaginas, you might be a marsupial. They don't have three vagina. What is going on with these multiple Well, remember when we were talking about like the writing the code for

the Koala and you have different developers. Well, one developer was like, all right, we need somewhere to put the Koala plumbing, like the urinary track and all all that plumbing. And it's like, well, I don't have any room for it. We got to run it through the vagina. And so what happens, and this is the case with other Marsupials as well, is that the vagina can't fuse into a single vaginal canal because the the urinary plumbing runs right

through it. So they it's got it's basically like like building a bypass right through and it's excuse me, and got a round the pipes. Have you ever like seen a really poorly designed house, Yeah, that's what this sounds like. Gentlemen, if you're remodeling this room, I need room for two mor zubial penises, so do not in any way you end up with like bathrooms running right through a wall. It's like what, it's very it's like perpendicular to the wall.

What's going on? Uh yeah, it's like that. Uh. And you may be wondering why males have that bifurcated penis that means the penis nut splits off into two. Well, I don't know. I mean, we're not sure. Um, but it could just be because like you know, the females

have two vaginal canals. Is like, hey, you know, it's so it's got it's got two vaginal canals that branch off and go into the uterus, and then it has one middle canal as well, and so like maybe it's just like you know, like hey, you know, two guns for two jobs. I don't know, maybe it only needs one of them to be efficient for reproduction. But a kind of like door number one and it's like a it's like a wheel of fortune situations, just sort of

a guessing game. My left portion of my bifurcated when the correct place they go right right. Yeah, it's kind of kind of headge your bets when it came What if though? What if it is reincarnation style, the best world. You get delicious poop, you sleep all the time, you have this cool digestive system. They can right, and then you get double sex and you get a puzzle vagina. It's great. Um. So they also have two thumbs per paw. I'm leaning back now towards this is just a rushed

homework assignment. This is an animal that I would have designed in the third grade. But yeah, those extra thumbs help them climb. Well extra who extra? That is actually good idea. Can you like, uh, there's like a robot. Oh there's this, Um, it's not a robot. It's like a it's a robotic attachment that can give you an extra thumb. That give me that. Yeah, and I think it's like maybe to help people who have mobility issues, but I kind of just want it. Yeah, you know

hell yeah. I mean think you're getting out of your car. You grab your keys. They are between your thumb and index finger, and then you go, oh, right, I have that bag of food or something groceries. You use two fingers in the middle and the ring. Now you've got the bag, your keys in the bag. You're stupid. Pinky is just wait and then you look over the pinky is the world's greatest mistake. I mean, if that was

a thumb, give me the thumb. There an extra thumb. Absolutely, and then and there's like there's a kettle bell, and I go, no problem, I got two thumbs. Boom, great for gaming for so many things. Jealous of these koalas, But what if they are they right next to each other? Where are these thumbs? You know they're on opposite side. It's like calabunga. Dude, why do they call ours opposable thumbs?

Those are true opposable thumbs. Ah ah, that's good. Well, don't be too jealous of koals because on the count of all the rampant clumb idio I have heard of this, well you heard it because I was talking about it. No, I people don't want to pick them up. In the last however many years, there was like maybe I'm thinking of lice. There was something where like koala's look really cute. You should never touch them. You shouldn't pick them up for multiple reasons. Um, so let's say I grab a

koala and I'm showing off. I'm walking around like jogging out like a pet. We were friendly and then I touched my eye. Could I get chlamydia in my eye from doing that? Just talking? You might be you might be able to. Yeah. So chlamydia and koalas is different from the chlamydia in humans where it's just just STD. But then it can be transmitted through touch, it can can be it can be transmitted through mating, and it can also be transmitted as baby qualas eat that poop

shake from their moms. So, and thank you for not saying qual media quala media. Oh damn, and I should have said that, thanks for thanks for bringing that Jim into the world. Qualamidia. Yeah, one of the I think you're actually right. So one of the reasons you should not pick up kualas as you you can get this chlamydia. And then you would have to like go to a doctor and be like, yeah, I got chlamydian. It's like, oh, where'd you get it from? Koala? And and that's you know,

it's gonna be a pregnant pause there. Doctor is going to slowly pick up a phone and call nine one one. You know what I would do, I would wear a Mormon missionary outfit into the doctor. So then they'd be like, is this true, and I'm big. Yeah, I mean, I'm saving myself. This is Koala chlamidia. Oh no, but yeah, So so it is on one level it's it's funny, but on another level, it's extremely bad for um. It's a very serious specterial infection. It can lead to blindness, infertility,

and death in Koala's. Researchers think that the recent surge in chlamydia is not due to Koala is just like descending into sin advice. They have a lot of spring breaks, but it could be due to retrovirus Koala retrovirus type B, which is compromising their immune system, so similar to like HIV. How that compromises the immune system and the Koala's diet of eucalyptus leaves is actually kind of a complication when

it comes to treating calamydia. So so their ability to break down and flush toxins from their system can also cause them to flush out medicine. And conversely, some some medications like antibiotics, can actually compromise their ability to break down toxins, meaning that they can't eat eucalyptus, which is

bad because all they do is eucalyptus. So I don't want to end on such a dismal note, because there's some research research that has found that there's a bacteria that's been discovered that could help koalas survive antibiotic treatments. And I think we should have known the answer all along. To save in Koala's is make koala is even more filthy. Put more bacteria in them. Make these these dirty boys

even dirtier. And girls and girls, these these dirty guys and gals just like filth them up, and that'll help them filthy, filter the equivalent to this thing that's just adorable and cuddly looking. And then you get up close, it's like penguin teeth just heinous. Yeah, and you and penguin opens its mouth, it's full of these little barbs. They're not not exactly teeth like a human. If a penguin smiles at you with human teeth, that's a demon

penguin run away. But a normal penguin they'll just have bunches and bunches of spines in their mouths and that's normal. Don't worry about that. Let's sing and so gross. And a koala is kind of a cuddlier version of the right to me, this just makes them more of a treasure in my eyes, but fact they eat poop in there full of chlamydia. I mean it's a it's look at you, little buddy. My Dave is rufus and um I wanted to call you an informia that you have chlamydia.

You touched my head. You know, I'm that koala that you petted. Remember last last week? Yeah, it was a magical time. Anyways, you might want to get checked. If you're wondering how you can help out Australia's koalas, I'll include a link to some wildlife foundations in the show notes. There's also the Koala Hospital of Port Macquarie in New South Wales, to whom you can donate and give money

to adopt a koala. Among these a koalas you can adopt with your dollars are Barrington, Xavier, crescent Head, Jimmy and Oxley Twinkles, which does the best names ever. In fact, I think we should adopt one. Here reach your feature. I'll set up a poll online on Twitter and you can help me decide which one I should adopt as

our own personal creature feature. Koala all install a eucalyptus tree in the studio, all koala proof, all the microphones and all all right, I'm being told by our producer that we're not allowed to have a koala and that by adopting a koala through the Koala Hospital, it's a symbolic gesturement to raise awareness and to donate money to a good cause. Well god dang it, I already bought a onesie for our quality that says I Love Youcalyptus. Oh well, it's still a good idea. Check out that

Twitter pool. I'll include a link to it in the show notes and we'll pick out a coal to adopt. I'm I'm I'm rooting for Oxley Twinkles. Oxley Twinkles. That's incredible. It's incredible. But I mean, you know, you should check out their bios, you know, scroll through. See they're like little me, I walk eaten eucalyptus, I do he media.

While the Koala is iconic, Australia is home to many of the world's greatest biodiversity hot spots, and the Queensland and New South Wales areas host two incredibly important ecological hot spots, with some of the greatest diversity in the country, with rare and threatened creatures, including the greater long eared bat, the jewel butterfly, the glossy black cockatoo, the long nose podoro spot tailed calls Coxon's big parrot, to name just

a few. In all of Australia, there are one hundred forty species of marsupials, the greatest diversity of marsupials in the world that rivals that of the America's, the other home to marsupials. So let's discuss some of these incredible animals, some of which you've probably heard of, some of which may be new to you. Some of them are cute, and some of them leak milk out of their pores. The first up you'll probably enjoy because I want to talk very briefly. I'm gonna there's a lot of animals

to discuss. I'm just gonna do a do a couple of things about each one. But the platypus. Yeah, you like these guys, right, I do. I When I think it was in the second or third grade, I went to great detail to draw one and this was pre Google, so I had to like go get a book and then kind of I don't think I traced it maybe, but I remember, you know, looking at the eye and then the and they look so to me, a platypus should be like a really big house cat. But they're tiny.

They're so small. Yeah, they're pretty. They're not They're not as big as a house cat. They're like, um, they're a little smaller there m hm, loaf of bread. Yeah, And to me they were like the biggest house cat. As I was drawing it, I was like it was like a huge Yeah, totally, like this is like a twenty pound thing, kind of fat, kind of scary. Actually, a huge platypus just only that little hook thing on

their back they have that. They have the barbed barbs on the back of their hind legs can deliver a poison, which or sorry, a toc toxin. Poison you eat. Toxins are well so okay, So venom is what gets in you and hurt you that way. Poison you eat. Toxins are both poisons and venoms. Oh that's how you remember it. Yeah, it doesn't rhyme as well as i'd like, but no, yeah, it's poison is the thing you eat. Toxin is weight No, hang on, poisons the thing you eat venoms. Venom in

youa poison poison sauce anyways, platypus. Uh, they are monotreams. Who So that's a very sort of ancient form of mammals because they still lay eggs and they don't got no nipples. What that's what a monotream is. Yep. They they don't have nipples. They lay eggs. I'm the opposite of a monotrem. You uh do not lay eggs and you have nipples. Correct. Wow, that's it's good to know, thank you. Um. And they actually they just sweat milk right out of their bodies is how they feed their young.

It just kind of okay, I do sweat milk. Well that's um. I was going to say that something you should get looked at, but it seems that you've embraced it. I like it. Cry milk as well. Okay, yeah, you can never so when you spill milk, you just just sort of an endless cycle of milk household. And whenever milk is spilled, that one looks at me like I'm trying to cover something up because I'm sobbing. I see milk and spilled, just lose it and then you spill

that milk, so you correct milk. Yeah, and they don't. They're kind of oil and watery. It's very strange. My tears get in there with regular milk and then there's kind of like a yeah, I don't an interesting kind of milk. I'm not sure I'm going to replace that for the milk on my cereal. Though not drinkable. Not drinkable, it does melt cereal, okay, but if you have it just straight out of like a shot glass, it's it's okay, it's kind of like almond milk. And then uh and

what's sort of the the percent of the proof on that. Oh, it's high in fat content. That's where this is. And it's non pasteurized, so it's sort of a solid, right, it's like it comes out it's kind of a gel. I'm gonna move the conversation away from this. So achidnas are the only other living species of monotream. They're covered in spines and they also laygs, so that those are

the two monotreams and they both live in Australia. And the other sort of a famous I would say animal coming out of Australia is the kangaroo, and the red kangaroos are the largest marsupial in the world, and they're pretty darn big. They're about as big as a big old dude. Yeah. And the buff ones, yeah they got They are swollen. They can get very small. I don't know, maybe they're stealing some koala protein butt shakes, but they are.

They are swollen, and they can leap up to twenty five ft in distance and jump up to six ft high. So you don't really want to get on a kangaroo's bad side. I don't think Carl lewis long jumped. I think so, not particularly scared. Uh So. Kangaroos, like the koalas and other marsupials, have three vaginas and two r dresses, and they actually use that weird structure to have sort of a Joey assembly line that they can be kind of constantly pumping out Joey's Yeah, that's what you want.

Always just be is full. Use my other one, always be making Joey's um. And then the males have the two headed penis as usual. That's what I've grown to assume most marsupials have. They do there it is. Yeah, it'd be real tough there it is. Wallabies are sort of like the Kangaroo's kid cousin. They're similar to kangaroos. They are related, but they're smaller and more compact for a denser forest. And that's you know, Rocko from Rocco's Modern Life. Remember that cartoon. I remember the name. I

don't know that. I remember. He's a wallaby, not a kangaroo. Pop culture fact. Only nineties kid will get this. Only nineties kids. I was alive in the nineties, but I think I was what were your a kid at heart? Well, I mean I would get home in like grade. What do you know, I'd watched like Dark Queen Duck and I remember feeling like dark one duck. Little known fact also a wallaby. No, he's a duck and you know

it all right? Well you got me there. Bandicootes of Crash bandicoote fame is a small marsupial who kind of looks like a cross between a bunny and a rent w Yeah, like a tail. Yeah, let's show you bandicoot this bandicoot. I picture what was the name on? Like? Was it ducktails? Like crash Bandicoot. Crash Bandicoot is video game character? What was this thing on one of those shows like there was a Bandicoot character that was had like a scarf and goggles on. It was like a pilot.

I always there was a Bandicoot. Well, Crash Bandicoot has like Jenko jeans and sneakers. If if that's a totally totally different guy. Um, but yeah, it's it's a doesn't like to gotta say Crash Bandicoot doesn't quite look like the real thing. It's Uh. First of all, I don't think bandicoots wear Jenko jeans, but um, you know, creative license, he's like a Bandicoot. I see yeah on on that sweet Koalist the Koala Protein Shakes. He's on pap He's on pap you, pap bra pap. So we talked a

little bit about wombats earlier. Uh, and just a quick mention. We we talked about this on the Weapons of ass Destruction episode. But they've got armored butts and they will sit on you if you're being naughty. I like it. Yeah, spine or a little hook thing on my leg versus spines all over my body versus a really destructive But how do they go the cool? But I can sit on people with Yeah, no, I'm I'm saying yeah, the cool.

But you can like and they can also like beat it against so like if a if a predator is trying to get at them in their din, they can like crush their skulls with the butts. Yes, it's very good. Give me that. So if someone's breaking in your house and there the doors kind of opened, like in a hotel, and they're trying to get the chain and grab that, and then you just jump and crush them with your butt,

that's empowering. Its great, like I mean, you know, instead of like those home security since like things, you just get a big butt and use it to smack people around. Absolutely, does it help chewing the cough drops no, um, nothing seems to help. But I do it. Yeah, I've been. I've been coughing up a storm. I'm probably going to edit those out so you guys don't have to hear them all, but you know it's been. It's I do it to bring you the koala is alright, So it's

true dedication. So not quite koala is. But quolls are a different type of marsupial. They look like a cat and a rat had a baby. They have cute little spots um but don't live there. What if we had quets quite an obnoxious name Koala's and quols get out of here, come up with a cooler name. I think coals is kind of cool because then you can say that's a cool cool Nope, not worth it not it's

not nope. Quality. It makes me like this, like see all of my words, like couality, calls, wanting, that's one, quality calls cool. Now your favorite calls us favorite qual spot, qualities coln for quality qualls uh, quality director qual, I am a qualm. Qulling you about my qual your qual who owns a qual Yes? Correct? My name is Steve Kual. This is this is madness, this is this is this is where the podcast descends into madness. But yeah, so this is a coal and they they're very, very cute,

very let's read name them. Let's call them squeams something like that. It's totally different than Koala. Kind of fits them, kind of spots. I vote for squeap. I mean what I do like is the adventures of a qualm name Squeams. Squeams. Uh, this is Squeams and friends. Come on, party never ends and Squeams and friends. And he's like, I hate ling. Oh, man, that's so us squeams. That's man, that's so squeams. But all of those qualls like Linguini because you came up

with squeams on the podcast. That's that's now my I p so, don't come looking at me for Squeams royalties. Maybe put together some sort of an initiative. I guess this is it's offensive because there might not be any qualls and or squeams left. But if we if they're running ahead, count after the destruction is over with and they're walking through and like, okay, they've got nine kangaroos left,

We've got ten of those guys, what is that? And then hopefully someone listens to your show it's a squeap. That's so that we can kind of rebrand. Yeah, like a rebranding. It's rebrandom and squeams start like a Nickelodeon show about squeams, so lovable scamp squems the scamp and and I think this that'll do it. That'll solve global warming. Well.

Another another Australia favorite is the Tasmanian devil Um. Those are those pugnacious, little carnivorous marsupials and one fun fact about them is they pee on food once they're done with it out of spite, so other other things can't eat it. Same same Uh. The brush tail possum is arguably cuter than opossums found in North America. So in Australia it's the brush tail possum. In North America it's opossum. In Ireland it's os it's not they don't live there. Uh.

It is a marsupial like America's opossum. Uh. It's about one to two ft long ways up to nine pounds, so you know they're not not huge. Um. Both males and females excrete red goo out of their chests that they used to mark territory, every animal they have down there. It's like a grosser version of something we kind of have. Or hear me out better at skincare, I had I had a reast for him. You're going to say cooler, and then you're waiting quite a while. You're you're moisturizing.

I excrete my own moisture. Answer from my chest, from my chest. Don't hug me. You're you're buying store bought go I think my own. G God, I want a brush tail, you know how like Gwyneth Palchow has goop just like brush tail possum like goo, and it's just like it's like things like fifty recipes to make with your own chess goo. You know, your own chess goo can be a natural sun block. I use it as

that using chess go in your car. Uh. And as I mentioned earlier, in the two thousand and nine Black Saturday Fires and I'll Australia, a lot of these brush tail possums survived by hiding out in tree hollows, which very resourceful, dangerous. I mean, it's not like fire is going to ignore those trees. No, it gets very very hot. But yeah, some of them did survive using that technique.

Like I also mentioned earlier, that technique is gonna not work so good as more and more trees get burned over and over again, because it's just they're just not it's like, uh kind of whittling it down to they're just gonna like hold a little leaf over their head and be like, well here it goes. Everyone hoped tight would we click our heels together, which we oh god, oh it's not working. I like the idea, and this

is maybe a little too dark for this show. But the idea of a of a single trait being eliminated from a species, the chance that is a little dark, but it would be nice, right, I mean, say you have a type, say in our culture, someone who's ultra aggressive. Men and women run around telling everyone to do bashing people over the heads, looking before following me. And then

they go to the top of the trees. And then there's more of a reserved, kind of calculated, thoughtful group and they go underground, and then the top of the trees people get scorched. It's the ones who asked for directions out of the forest who survived, Like, no, no, I got it, I got it. I've got it on Apple Maps right now. No, no, no, that's fine, it's fine.

I ate a breakfast with a friend this morning, and when we were leaving, there was a giant hummer parked in a handicapped spot, very crooked, and I would love it if all of those people and it was full of possum. Sorry, continued, Well, the possums would hopefully get out in this fire, but that guy would drive straight in the Google work just this summer, trying to fit in a tree hollow. And it's like I'm trying to get shelter. I'm hunkering, hunker everyone hunger were over the car,

throw the fire off our trail. So, speaking of the brows of nature, let's talk about dangos, Bros, dingos. You don't like you think I think about a dingo. I think about the dingo going like, hold me back, bro, no way. Yeah. Dingoes are like, dude, are you talking to me? They're very like I think they're chill. I just think they're very quick. What that's always the picture right there, that's a that's a species of bro though, right, yeah, I guess what what what? What? What? They look like

domesticated dogs, but they're wild animals of a completely separate species. Um. Fun fact about dingos their paws can rotate and their necks can rotate a hundred eighty degrees. So sleep well knowing that exorcist. Dingos can open your door knobs. They have some cool features. I feel like down there, just the coder's got a little more leeway, like throw in some stuff. These are like elon musk coated. Because it's like we're going to have the dingo and it's head

is going to rotate d eight degrees. Why did you do that? Sorry? Why did you give it a one degrees rotating head? What? Yes, well, because we could. You know how dingoes always want to look at their own paw and they just can't watch this one. They'd be so good at raves to like. So now onto the long nose podoro, which I guess you're wondering what a podorou is. Well, it's a type of rat kangaroo. If you're wondering what a rat kangaroo is. Kind of what

it sounds like. It's a marsupial that looks like a mouse in a rabbit and a wall to be kind of just glorped together into one. What size are we talking about with one of these small I'd say, like rabbit size. So let me show you there we go, Oh yeah, be a little smaller than a rabbit. Yeah, some of our mice here hop around anyway, kangaroo mice. Yeah, that thing could throw I was expecting. I don't know what I was expecting, more of like a pronounced pouch

or something. Right, But look at the little nose. I think it's got a good it's got a distinctive nose. Yeah, it's longer. It seems like one of the characters in uh like Fible Goes West, where they'd be like, we're just stretching the bounds of what a mouse or rat really looks like. We've given this mouse sideburns? Is that cool?

Don Bluth? Yeah, there's a little Don Bluth. I don't think mice have sideburns, Don Bluth, both animator or yeah, yeah, and our director animator guy, Yeah, And I don't think mice have hair. Well, you'd be surprised. They also wear little round bifocals. And I've I've done extensive research in the Southern hemisphere and it's pretty common, right, I see, I see, yeah, yeah, that was five old five Al goes West is one of the unsung heroes of American cinema.

Um So they also dropped fungal spores in its poop on account of all the fungus it eats. So and it's got a prehensile tail. So are all these things included there? Or do you dig further from what your preliminary findings are to get specifics on their poop? I got me, you got me. I just love my Google. But what about their poop? Great? I understand what they look like, their size, what they eat when they sleep. What do they know? Well, this one I don't have

any information on their poop. So this is the Kuka barra. And you may remember the Cuca barra as being a bird with that that sound that it makes, the cuca barro sound. I'll play it for you just in just afo jumps around and as the cool like kind of dance. There are a lot of birds that do that. If it's true, you know, uh, here we go. Yeah, that's a very like let's get what turned up? You know. There's a YouTube video of a cover of lit The bodies hit the floor with a drowning pool um and

heavily utile. It's an all animals cover and it heavily utilizes the cooka bara. So it's in the Kingfisher family, but despite its familial name, it doesn't actually do all that much fishing. It's their carnivores. They eat small mammals, small birds, reptile snakes, pet goldfish, and meat from barbecues. If you're not careful, Oh man, the guys are scavengers. Yeah, yeah, they'll they'll crash your barbecue. Part. It's like, yeah, did you bring something to this party? Brought some beers. Which

beer did you bring you? You know an I p a uh yeah? And that that call um can be both. It can be a territorial call to mark their territory. Can be done during the mating season as well. Um. Another cool bird hailing from Australia are pink robins. Now, they look like regular robbins, but guess what they're distinctive characteristic? Is there? Blue? Jeez, you're so dumb. God damn it. Why did I have you on? I'm sorry, I'm not good at guessing. Oh my god, all right, so this

is what they look like. Um. They are a just dashing, vibrant, pocking, shocking color of bright hot pink um. They have black heads and bright hot pink bellies. Both males and females have pink coloration, but males are the ones that really take it to the next level, like really vibrant. That hot pink color is to used to attract females and it is it. I will include a picture of it in the show notes. But it is spectacular. Looks like it looks like you ran a robin in the washing

machine with a red sock. I got a real joy on your face. Like again, off menu happiness. Well that I did do a pro bird rights tweet to that effect, which people found hilarious. So they're so another bird this. We've got a lot of birdies on our menu here, not not on our We're not We're not gonna eat these birds. Story. The lyre birds are large ground dwelling birds with beautiful, fancy tales. They're gray and brown, and

their tails form a fan of multiple earth hues. Um. They can grow from two to three feet long, so they're they're big, but they're not like huge. Um. Don't you think it's weird that if if birds could talk, as cartoons have let us to believe, they should be

able to in human voices. Anytime you said, oh my god, that bird is gorgeous, their response from the bird would be, hey, thanks, it's funny, funny, yeah, well yeah, And I mean it's really interesting because with birds almost across the board, the males are the ones that are the fanciest, the prettiest, with the most spangles and the brightest coloration. And it's uh thought to be mostly because through sexual selection that females find that nice to look at, and that's why

they're so fancy. And it's so charming to me that it's like, Hey, why is this bird got a curly queue on its head and like pink stuff on its button. It's like because the female flows cool, yeah, but they have to try hard. It's very flipped of what It's kind of like women or female birds are kind of like the dad body of just Cargo shared with the shirt. Oh cool, I like to look at that one. Yeah,

and then yeah, it's very flipped from us. It seems like my friend Chad Daniels has some funny jokes about that special um it's called dad channels. That's in and you and you criticize me for my puns. But it's interesting you would say like that they would just like talk in a in a voice because liar birds are notable for their ability to mimic sounds and uh. During the peak of mating season, they sing for many hours every day and they craft complex songs by mimicking the

sounds of other birds or sometimes just other sounds. Doesn't have to be birds. It can be other animals and it can even be human created sounds. Let me play very Michael Winslow of the bird world, remember him, he can police academy. Yes, yes, yeah, it's actually very similar. Let's give it a listen here in the original list shut up David addenbrow. No, I don't mean and I love you David addenbro. But that's it. Impersonating a cooka burrow, which we just heard. Let's let's get another. You see

if I can get another. I don't know what the end game. There is songs that he has in the Funnest. That is the liar bird impersonating the I think that's actually a shutter, camera shutter. They have been known to imitate a gun. Sounds like bollets. Yeah, let's get another. Another sound in here that was a camera shutter and again okay. They're kind of like a person that just walks down the street and goes Toyota, oh, subway, taco bell. Okay.

You know when I when I was in college, I don't know why, but there were squirrels all over the campus. And every time there's a squirrel and just be like, oh, squirrel. I could be in the middle of a conversation just say oh yeah, squirrel. It's like, yeah, there's squirrels everywhere. But I had to I was like, hey, squirrel, this is like your own little private bit you were doing. No,

like a tick. It's sort of like a tick. It's sort of like you know, the dog and up kind of situation where I just was like, oh, yeah, squirrel, Like I don't get what this bird is trying to get out of this that you do the coca barracabra, and then um, an opposite of that sex comes over and it's like, yeah, what's up? I got you. I'm not even the same same season as you. I mean, we love stand up comedians that can do impersonation like

well what's to do? Yeah, but they don't stand in the mall, off in the corner and do like alright, alright, alright, and then people run over and go what I got? That would be a wonderful world for comedians, though if they did. You've never you've never tried to pick anyone up by doing personations. I don't think so, at least, not like that's something you would remember or not remember.

That sounds you're like a dodging like I can't recall. Oh, I certainly have not done it where I was like down a hallway in the in a mall, just doing like some sort of voice of some specific denial. Yeah. Wait, are you saying like, have I been on a date and then done my just aces? Impersonation of whoever? Right? Like that would make sense. And I'm looking at them going like, hey, have you not? And so talks this way?

But to be like hiding Mr High and mighty over the liar bird does impressions on dates are how are you different? How is this different? Well, no one named me the liar person. I guess that's different. It's not liar like it lies to you. It's exactly no, it's liar like the instrument. It's not. It's not the bird like this is a bird that this bird tells only

the truth, and this liar bird tells only lies. Line as birds lying about like hey, I'm a shutter on a camera and then people go, you are Ca'm a liar a liar bird as pretending to be a couca burra. I'm not that either. So that's a car alarm that it's doing and another doing or lying about. So. The Australian magpie is another one of Australia's greatest songbirds. Um They can mimic over thirty five species of birds, as well as dogs, horses, and man made noises. As kind

of a poignant thing. I guess like a there was a magpie recorded during the bush fires mimicking the sound of an emergency vehicle. So here's what this sounds like. That is an appropriate young man? Is a serious situation? Yeah, it's it's it's really poignant, but it's also at the same time this bird making sirens sounds it's haunting, and then at the same time as this bird mocking us definitely is. So I want to finish up the show

just by saying that you can definitely help out. There are lots of organizations that are fighting the fires that you can donate to, you can signal boost. I'm going to include links to all of those in the show notes. And again I'm gonna have a poll on which Koala we as Creature Future, should adopt, So check that out and I'll get that in the show notes as well. Um. I also want to do a shout out to Laney

from Memphis. So, a fan of the show wrote in saying, my six year old daughter Laney is a huge fan of the show. Her favorite episodes are the Cryptozoology Epps. She wanted me to leave alike for the Creature Show and she wanted to tell me to tell you to please include the Rugaru in a future episode. It's basically a Cajun werewolf and they have a statue of one at the New Orleans Zoo, which is something I didn't know and that's really cool, and watch out for that.

She he's actually very scared of mythical monsters, which only increases her fascination with them. Please give her a shout out in an episode. It would absolutely make her whole year. Uh, And thank you so much for writing in, Laney from Memphis. What a cool little fan I got there. Yeah, that's greatly And thank you for telling me about this, this really cool crypto crypto zoology fact. I will I'm certain I will have an episode where I bring that up.

So thank you so much, Laney. And thanks for listening to the show. What a what a sweet message. Um. And so yeah, you got got it. Thank you so much for joining me today, you got thanks for having me this week. I'm in Winnipeg at Rumors Comedy Club and then and that's Tuesday through Saturday, every night I think at eight pm, and then some later shows on Friday and Saturday as well. And then if you live

in Los Angeles January. I will be at the Dynasty's Typewriter recording were filming the set and love to have an audience there here in town. You can get a more information at David Hansburger dot com And as you mentioned, I do a podcast called This Base Cave and find out on where we get podcasts, and then I also do a monthly show here in l A. All that's on David Onnsberger dot com. Anyway, thank you for having me,

Yeah for sure, Thank you so much for joining you. Sorry, this was a little bit of a bomber open episode, but at least we got to learn about quality. While I'm we're humans, we cause all them. Yeah. Thanks to the Space Classics for their extremely groovy song ex Alumina. Creature features a production of I Heeart Radios How Stuff Works. For more podcasts from I Heeart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. See you next Wednesday.