Two tips to help you keep it together temporarily, Mastering Emotional Intelligence (132)

Hello, my beautiful friends. It's so nice to be back on the podcast and recording an episode. It's Tuesday, so I'm actually recording the same day I'm going to release this episode for you guys. And I just came back from spring break as well. I think probably some of you did as well. I hope you guys all enjoyed it. We had family in town for the first part of the week, and then we had like two days of a break in between, and then we had different family in town for the last part of the week.

So it's been a little crazy as we like our downtime. We really appreciate our downtime in the bar household. It's been crazy. But we did have this really incredible experience this weekend where Aspen and I got to sing as part of a choir. And there was an orchestra and it was just really beautiful. It was a beautiful experience and a very exhausting exhausting experience.

And the reason why I am bringing it up on my episode, because you guys know I talk about having your emotions and processing them and being able to release them when they come to you, right? We're not trying to keep it all in all the time. So I have kind of a cool story to share about that and how I saw that in real life play out when I wasn't able to process So you guys will probably relate to this in some way. And I hope that you do because it is for someone.

The story is always for someone, right? Little housekeeping. You guys know I have my membership. We are Magnetic Women. And this month in April, we will be focusing on releasing creative blocks as well as being a people pleaser. And we're doing both programs. I don't know how that's going to play out yet.

But the amazing news for all the people, all the beautiful women inside my membership is that they are going to be able to have access to these resources and these courses in time, like right away. And often they get to do the live courses as well, but they only have to pay a low monthly fee. feet.

And so if you are somebody who is looking for further healing, you see that there is definitely some areas that you need extra help in, but you're not really ready for the big investment or you're not really wanting to dive in one-on-one, right? Because that is a different commitment level. This might be a good opportunity for you to get your feet wet and to be able to feel those releases inside of you and really understand what exactly is going on there, right? right?

Really feel what it feels like to release anger from your body or sadness or whatever's going on. So if that's for you, I will put the link in the show notes right at the top and you guys scoop it up. There is a discount code. It's selflove, one word, and that should bring your payment down to 77 a month, or you can just pay for the whole year like super cheap. So that link will be in the show notes. And let's go ahead and get started on today's episode. Here we go.

Hey friend, welcome to Deep Healing for Creative Entrepreneurs. My name is Aubrey Barr and I am a subconscious release technique practitioner and photography business owner. I know you are sick of ending your day feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and you are seeking a solution to help you feel creatively inspired and actively engaged in your business as well as personalized.

In this podcast, we are going to dig into any limiting beliefs or subconscious programs that are keeping you in a space filled with anxiety and stress. This work is not a temporary solution for your life. No, this is a complete transformation. So grab your coffee or tea and let's start you on the road to healing. And let me just say you can do this you are worth it and you are meant to thrive in life and business so let's. Music.

Okay. So I'm going to paint the scene a little bit for this one. Okay. Aspen and I decided that we wanted to be a part of this really big production. It's something that we've never done before. The level at which was intense. Okay. It was incredible in all the best ways, but it did take some work to get there. Right. We started going to practices on Saturday evening from three to 5 PM since January.

Right. So mind you, that was like three months ago. So we've really, really had to dedicate our time and sacrifice that time in order to make this happen. And I knew from the beginning, not only was it going to be so much cooler than anything I've done, but it was also a commitment, right? It was a huge commitment. So what I didn't realize was the physical demands of your body when you perform like that. We had to stand for an hour and a half, right?

So on Saturday, we had a dress rehearsal. rehearsal so we were already standing like an hour before that then we did the whole thing so another hour and a half and then we did the program in the night and you're standing there holding a folder so you're it's not comfortable right i'm a stander and this required me to not move and i did not accomplish that i did move i kind of you know kind of jittery feet adhd side of me was like, okay, I can't stand still.

But it was physically also demanding when I knew it would be emotionally and spiritually. In turn ended up being physically demanding as well. But we did all of this because we wanted Easter to be different this year. We wanted to really celebrate it. We really wanted to involve ourselves in it. And even though it was a challenge, I knew that Aspen could accomplish it, and I knew I could too. But not only did I not realize the physical requirements were going to to feel so big for me.

I also didn't realize that holding back my emotions during the performance was going to be so big for me. Now, I didn't fully do that. I still had a teary eye here and there, and I still felt a lot. I picked up on so much, like just big energy, and it felt electric at times in there. And that was amazing, but I held it in for the most part, right? I was there for her job and dang it, I was going to accomplish that.

So the reason why I'm bringing this up is because the next day was Monday and Monday for me was very rough. I had to drop my parents off at the airport. And so I went and did that. And on my way back, I thought, gosh, you know, I just want to cry. I just want to cry. And I thought back about the day before and, you know, the two performances before and how much I kind of held that back. I said, you know what, I'm going to listen to the soundtrack of this.

It wasn't our particular performance, but it is on iTunes. And so I'm like, let me listen to that. And let me invoke kind of that. Sadness or happy tears or whatever it was I was trying to get out. It was definitely going to be crying and I knew it. So I went ahead and turned that on and I just let it play. And sometimes I sung, right? Because I knew the words and sometimes I just like bawled. It was actually, it was amazing to be honest with you.

But I just knew, I just absolutely knew that these emotions were like, Like, hey, Aubrey, you've been telling us that we need to process these things right away. Okay. But you didn't do that. And now I can feel it and it's just hanging out and it's like ready to go. So it felt so good to let those out. And I thought, my goodness, you know, there are situations all of us, all of us get in where it's not, maybe it's not appropriate to full on have, you know, your moments.

Maybe it's, maybe you need to be there for someone else. And so you kind of put aside your feelings for a minute because you realize that this other person absolutely needs you right now. Like I imagine, you know, when someone passes away and we're comforting our child and really we're hurting too, and we can cry too, and that's fine. But sometimes we put that aside a bit so we can be there for them, right? There's these moments in life and they are usually hugely big moments,

right? These are those big ones that you just cannot avoid. And in those moments, we do feel like we need to suppress it a little bit. You know, maybe you have a huge thing at work, but you just found out some devastating news. And it's just not possible to take time away. And it's not possible to, you know, put this aside. And so you have to be there present in that moment and you maybe don't get to feel it all.

So I'm going to give you some tips today on what to do in those situations. First off, if you are in that situation and you do need to kind of put aside the emotions for a minute and, you know, do what you got to do, whatever it is, you can imagine and just like visualize a balloon in front of your face. And this balloon is whatever color you want, but it's right there in front of your face. And you could even tell it, you could say, I'm going to put all of these emotions in this balloon.

I'm going to carry this balloon with me. It's just going to be right above my shoulder. And so I can go inside. I can go talk to this person. I can go, you know, go shopping for what I need real quick. I can, you know, put together this meal my family needs just for a minute. it. And then when I'm ready, I can sit down and I can pop that balloon and I could let those emotions come back to me so I can process them. That's a good way to add the visual into whatever you're doing, right?

Because some of us absolutely need a visual to help us process things. So that's a good way to do that. But if you don't need the visual, you could just do something a little little simpler. You could just have a conversation with yourself. You know, you could say, Aubrey, this is a really big moment and you have a lot of things going on and all of those feelings are worthy of your attention and your space and your time and everything. It's absolutely worthy of it.

But at this time, we've got to get this one thing done. So I'm committing to coming back to this later on tonight, tomorrow, when I put the kids to bed, whatever it is you need to do, just say, I'm committing to coming back to this at that time so that I can feel into these emotions. And just let that settle for a second. And once you feel like, okay, that's okay. Yeah, that's a good deal. Yeah, that sounds great. We both get what we need, right?

Both are crazy personalities. But once you feel like that's settled, you can go do that job and And you know, you know in your mind that you've already committed to coming back to that. And you're going to dig deeper if you need to, right? Because sometimes these emotions don't automatically come with the story where you know exactly what's going on. If someone passes away, yes, you know, that's what's going on. But sometimes they come with a little bit of digging that needs to happen.

And so you can take that time, you can do what you need to do, and you're going to know that you're going to be back to that, right? The problem comes in, not when we just stifle away our emotions and finish on with our work or whatever. The real problem is that when we never revisit them, okay? Not only are you breaking down that self-trust that you've already started to build with the practices that I preach about, but you're also avoiding feeling things.

And when we avoid them, we all know they feel bigger. They feel more annoying. They feel more obnoxious. They're not something that you can get done fast, right? Like it bothers you when you just avoid them forever. And what does tend to happen is people forget, right? Right. But when you take the time to make a commitment to come back to yourself and really dive in, then you're more likely to remember.

Instead, we've already gotten in the habit. You know, maybe you've done this where you just get in this habit that you're like, OK, well, I'm not allowed to feel that right now. I've got X, Y and Z. And that's that. Well, you don't come back to it. That's the real problem. So really start to think about saying aloud or even with with the balloon exercise where you're doing something in your head to kind of initiate that opportunity to come back.

When you do that and when you say it out loud and you make that commitment, you are more likely to come back to it and really feel into it and release it when you can. Because I will tell you for me personally, listening to that soundtrack and just bawling my eyes out, letting out everything I already felt. Gosh, it sounds like a horror story. It sounds like I didn't have a good weekend, but I actually did.

It felt so good. And then I pulled up to my massage therapist and I got a massage like everyone should in in my opinion. And that also helped to release everything that was going on in my body that was holding back, you know, standing in a position that where I felt like I wanted to move, I wanted to break out and do some yoga, you know, and I couldn't, that also was tension in there that was holding that in.

So all in all, it was an opportunity on Monday for me to have that emotional release, as well as a physical release. And in line with those, when we have both of those, there is an energetic release as well. And so I felt that very, very deeply on Monday. And I have to say, it was actually really beautiful. It was actually really amazing. I wouldn't even think twice about doing it again.

We'll be doing this program again next year. I'm going to have a little bit of an idea of what to expect physically as well as emotionally. And I'm going to schedule it so I have that Monday off. Now, I happen to have Monday off this time because I knew I had had to take my parents to the airport around noon. So I had already blocked off my schedule and just worked out that way. But next year, purposely, I will take that next day off for a chance for me

to recoup. And the same thing goes when I have a big session. If I go do a wedding, you know, and I'm on my feet for six hours, I usually take the next day off and I will usually also add a massage to my schedule. But I also don't have that extra emotional buildup that happened for this. So it is a little different. But yeah, just looking at your schedule and saying, okay, when I allow myself to do these big things, do I also allow myself to process and regulate at the end of these?

Because that's where we're giving back to ourselves, right? That's where I'm giving back to my body and to my mind and to my soul. And I'm saying there's space for you to feel whatever you need to feel. You get to do that today, right? and giving yourself that chance. Because at the end of the day, if I had continued on with my week without having that emotional release, oh, it would have been awful.

I'm gonna tell you right now, it would have been awful because I could tell I was just on the verge of wanting those tears. So what would have happened? Well, maybe I would have gotten in an issue with my Wi-Fi company again, where all of a sudden my Wi-Fi doesn't work. I might end up in tears, right? Even though it's like ridiculous. But that is a way for our body to release. So we might say, oh my gosh, I cannot believe I'm crying over this.

Well, maybe you had some sadness there that needed to go. I hope that makes sense to you guys. I hope those tips will help you as you continue to do all of the things that you do.

You know, I know that there are moms out there listening. I know that there are creatives and photographers and virtual assistants and just a hundred different things, a billion different hats that you wear. I get it because I'm there too. And I just hope that we can find these ways of processing things so that our day-to-day life is more in line. It feels easy. It feels effortless. And that we give ourselves the space to cry if we need to, right? Give yourself that space.

You deserve that. Crying is a form of release. It's not always a bad thing. It's not something to look down on. It's not something that's embarrassing. are seeing. People who can release those emotions are going to find themselves in better health than other people. That's just how it is at this point.

So let me know if you guys have any questions about that, but I truly hope that this helps you as you continue to live day to day and find ways to be able to be a little more emotionally intelligent with your work and with your personal life as well. All right, guys, have a beautiful day. We will talk again on Friday. Day. Check out the show notes for all those links. Bye-bye.

I hope this podcast spoke to you in some way. If it did, please go ahead and leave me a review and subscribe so that I know you're enjoying what you hear. And further, if you know somebody else who owns their own creative business and struggles with anything that we spoke about, please pass this on because it is my hope that we we will be able to build a community of like-minded individuals who love on each other and appreciate the many facets that make our creative business so unique.

And lastly, check out the show notes to find my free Facebook community and other useful links to work with me. All right, friend, see you soon. Music.