¶
You look like a hot Rosie O'Donnell in it.
¶ Batch 458: IPA Dorks
Welcome in everybody. It's the craft beer republic. Thanks for drinking. Thanks for joining. I'm Greg. I'm Joe. I mean, what was the wizard's name? And Blades of glory. That's what you sound like. Oh, no.
¶ Who's the Evil Wizard?
It's the evil wizard. That's. Followed by, like, a kind of. I just remembered. I have to leave. Yeah. Then he tells the story about Gary the Squirt. Oh, dear. That's Flex everybody. They're at a bus stop in Tucson, and Gary said, I got a third ball. Oh. He just keeps going. I'm sorry. We could be halfway through the show at this point. He's coming from the show cut. It's just my my movie knowledge and so excited to be joining us. I'm sure she's thrilled.
Oh, I'm gonna make you sound so official. Okay. I dare. You. But after that, it's. It feels weird. The executive director of the Utah Brewers Guild. Damn. So fancy sounding. Also part of Beer Nerd radio. And, uh, we formally know her as Miss Tipsy Socks. And now the Beerfest Queen. It's Steph. Me Steph. It makes you sound like I know things. I know it makes you smart and shit. I know it's terrifying. Yeah, well, I always try to undersell
¶ Smarticles
myself. Damn it! That's all of us. We're such self shitters. Uh, I have a model that hangs above my front door that just says expect less. So Shitters would imply that from Walmart. I just want to let you know that. Oh, well. Know myself from Walmart. It'll be beer. Just so you know, the Walmart, Walmart, brewers package or whatever. The brewers. Suck. Yeah. Oh, dear. Anyways, hey, thanks for joining everybody at @Flex_me_a_beer. And maybe one of these days at
¶ @CraftBeerRepublic @flex_me_a_beer
Miss Tipsy Socks again. Yeah, we'll be back. She'll be back. I'll be back. Yeah. Can't stop the socks. Go, go follow beer nerd radio in the meantime. Sure. Yeah. How about that? And shout out to our top listeners, Steve. Last week. Playa Vista, California. Oh, my. I sat on my hood ish. Sounds like a vista pool. Okay. You mean beach? Vista beach? Yeah. Playa piscina is pool. Damn it! Yeah. It's fine, it's fine. It's down near LAX. So lax. Black. What? Up down there?
Uh, so what you get today? What is that happening in Fayetteville? I had to get a win right there. Chuckle the clown over there. Yeah. How'd that work out for you, Sheena? Uh, stay tuned for your Spanish lesson by Senor Flex coming up later. Uh, all right, before we get into anything, let's let's ask some important questions. In a world where craft beer is king.
¶ What is Flex Drinking?
A world where muscles are bigger than growlers. Only one tongue can guide us. One man, one tongue, one Tongue-jobber. In this world, we must find out what is flax drinking? So here's a terrible story. Oh. Another one. It's all I have. Um. Well, so I didn't want to do this, but I like doing it. And Greg loves that. I do my favorite. I take my kids beer shopping with me Mm. To the local, uh, liquor market. And, uh, they like picking out fun
beers with fun canard and fun names. And there's this beer that I've been putting off for weeks now. Some would say months. Wait, how long has it been in your possession? Oh. A day. Oh, okay. Yeah. Like I finally like in. Yeah. I finally bit the bullet today. Gave in, and, uh. My youngest daughter, she's eight. Uh, she saw this beer. She's 32. I hate that she can read now. Oh, damn. Damn. Kids are too smart. I tried so hard to keep that
from happening. Yeah. She saw this can, and it was called Teddy Bear Kisses. And it has this really kind of adorable teddy bear. And he's got some rips and he's sewn up a little bit. I don't know if you can really see it. Oh, a little bit, but it's pretty. It's pretty adorable. Why is writing so evil, though? You know, because he's like, uh, maybe he's like an evil teddy bear. I don't know. See? No, not even an eyeball. He's got some claws. I've never seen a teddy bear claws.
This is a beer I don't normally get because I'm a haze boy.
¶ Upland Brewing - Teddy Bear Kisses
Greg knows this. Yeah. You are. Uh, this is a big, bad, uh, bourbon barrel aged imperial stout with cacao and hazelnut extract. Oh, that'd be. Awesome. Um, I guess I don't know. I just want someone to brew a real sugary beer and just name it Wilford Brimley. Yeah, with tons of oats. How old was he? 85. 88? Yeah, we looked at. I was like, 80. I was gonna say seven. So somewhere in there? Yeah. He lived here in Utah. He was a Utah boy. Oh, damn. But we decided that I'm gonna get,
uh, diabetes because you live long. Called it. You pronounce it incorrectly. I'm sorry. Uh, back to the beer. Um, so I had looked up the wrong beer earlier. This is from Upland Brewing. Brew brewing? Upland Brewing company. Not to be confused with Downland Brewing Company. And they're out of Bloomington, Indiana. So some Midwest shit. Uh, Zach should be psyched about this. Hey, Zach. Uh, ten. Oh. I'm sorry. 12% ABV. I definitely looked up the wrong beer. It's 12%. Uh, 5000 check ins.
406 on the. Uh. Oh overall. Yeah. So I looked up the wrong beer, I told you. Three. Eight. Five. Yeah, the wrong beer on tap reads. You're the worst. Right, man? We. We made our teddy bear kisses Imperial stout even more cuddly on the palate by aging it on bourbon barrels for six months, imparting hints of bourbon. The aroma is a burst of dark chocolate with tinges of roasted malt and rich molasses, as well as oak, vanilla and English toffee.
Slightly sweet with bold chocolate and dark caramel flavours, which are complemented by subtle hints of fruit that evolve from additions of caramel malt and molasses molasses. It's just like you should say, molasses. So on the nose here. Mm. Very sweet. Very sugary. It's like a like a chocolate shake. So what I smell chocolate shake. This does not look like a chocolate shake. It's pretty black. The old Tongue-jobber here. Didn't warm it up as much as it
did last week. No, no. It's good. It's nice when you squish it. That's all. Yeah. That's good. I didn't swish it. You don't like swishing? Stouts for sure. I didn't swish. It. I didn't mean to swish it. It'll be exactly like you just did. So go ahead. But I didn't. Switch it, so, um, I don't know. It's, uh. It's like picking on me again. Well, but I didn't switch it, so I don't know why she's saying I switched it because I didn't switch it. So she's just wrong.
¶ I Didn't Swish the Beer!
It's. It's stupid. It is. She sounds stupid because she's saying I did something that I didn't, and it's stupid. I'm sorry. I apologize for noticing that you switched it. I'm not even gonna switch it now, because I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of switching because I. Didn't do it. You can stop yourself. It was a big sip. That's what it was. It was a big sip. And I expelled the error from the big sip. All right.
So maybe that looked like I switched it, but I just expelled the air from the big sip because my cheeks got big and I went. Oh. That looks like a swish. Anyway, how's that beer? It's good. It's it's a it's a it's a it's a good beer. I guess it's like, uh, sweet. It's chocolatey. Um, if there's any kind of, like, fruit notes, it's like, uh, figs or some shit. I would think, like, sweeter, sweeter, uh, fruit. Uh, maybe a little hints of caramel on the back end.
I don't get a lot of oak. Um. It's probably for the best. Yeah. Let me just, I don't know, one more time. Just one. More. Just a regular sip, as I. Say. Sapped before seeing. Sap. That's one. Sap sucked. I said that to be funny. Shut up. Did you see it? Did you see? Switched it. Total switch. There was no. How do you guys drink? Not like. That. That's how I did it.
¶ Cut it Out
All this is being cut out. You know. This is my two week notice. She wouldn't even be here in two weeks. I'm done. Neither will I. It's just bullshit. I'm sorry. I try not to be hated everywhere I go. It's failing. It's a fine beer for people who like big, uh, big stouts. It's good. It's not boozy at all. I guess that's the big shock for a 12%. That is shocking. Shocked. Shocked. Uh, yeah, but it's good. It's good. So I guess I never even heard of upland. Well, good job, Flex's kids.
Yeah, thanks. Uh, daughter. Daughter number two. Yeah. Uh, anyways. All right, let's let's talk about some some drinking. Yeah. I feel like whenever Stetson is when I talk most about, like, my classy wine drunk. I don't know why. True. I mean, I talk about it here and
¶ Classy Wine Drunk
there, but, like stepson. It's a it's a weekly occurrence. Oh, see, it's not just me. Why am I getting blamed for things like I'm Flex or something? I'm just trying to not make you feel special. Ouch. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Did you stub your toe? Yeah. That was my thumb. That was real. That was mean. Yeah. But you probably swished it. Uh, we had our wine pickup party that I told Flex. I told you what was going to happen. Where? It's in Malibu,
overlooking the water. Yes. You sent me pictures. Yeah. Wine pickup party with tacos and beach view. It's fantastic. Uh, got pretty hydrated. Nah, it's a great tacos. Good time. I was just going to ask. Super solid taco guy. Yeah. I mean, we talked about before. They have a great taco person, and we contacted the taco person because they're so good. We cannot afford their taco person. We're keeping our taco person. Steph, do you have a taco person? Like, personally? Yeah.
Just for myself. But like, whenever we have a party that needs tacos, we have a taco guy that we call. So they come over and they make fresh tacos. This has to be a California thing. That's are called immigrants. We pay them handsomely. No, we I mean, we have lots of, like, taco trucks and taco stands by we've never seen. It's weird that I have a taco guy is my phone. Is weird because he's very strange. Every person he knows has a taco guy.
¶ Do You Have a Taco Guy?
How many people do you know? Like six. Okay, well, I don't have a lot of friends. Well, it's. A. Lot of tacos. Flex. And I don't have a taco guy, so. No, I don't want his number. He's really good. Very affordable. Third of your friends don't have a taco guy. You're missing out. No, I have friends who make great tacos because I live close to the southern. I mean, you're in California, you have great Mexican food. But, yes, the best. I don't have a taco guy. Oh. All right, we'll have a taco.
And our wine owners, people have a taco person. And, uh. I would expect wine owners to have a taco. Person. Yeah. I mean, they live in Malibu. Expect them to have, like. Live in Taco. I'm sorry. Yeah, I would expect them to like taco people. Not like taco person. Yeah. I mean, there were there was like three people there. And you call the guy and he comes with his whatever, his crew, and he has a. Crew, so he. Like, got. It like a caterer.
Like he works in the kitchen. I mean, it's not. No, no, no. Like he brings everything. He brings his little taco situation where he cooks the meat. Yeah, like a taco tent. I hope that's what he. He's got his pop up tent. And this. Is the taco. Situation. Yeah, this happens at someone's home. So, yeah, this happens. So, like, we'll have birthday parties and we'll hit up the taco guy, and he comes over, and I'm just. How much do you make a year? Like at least $7.
I mean, you're living high on the hog over there. He's got five wine memberships. There is a transcontinental. There is a. Taco guy around here. Oh, okay. You know that I know. Do you know his phone number? I don't, but my sister in law's husband does because one of his high school best friends is friends with him. Or he's his taco guy by proxy. You have a taco guy. So if I really wanted to, I could get a taco guy.
What's his minimum order? Like two. Because Greg's taco guy is probably, like, 50. No, this guy's by, like, the day. Like you pay for the day. You pay him hourly. And he does everything. My taco guy, you tell him how many people are going to be there and everything. Does he swish his beer around before he swallows it? Yeah. We're done here. Move on from the taco guy. Yeah. My taco guy. You tell them about how many people will be there, and he charges you accordingly.
And then there's always leftovers, which are the best, because in the next day, you just throw all that leftover taco meat into some eggs are so good when you're hungover. Yep. I agree. I'm unaware of the leftover situation here. Oh, it's such a good situation. You don't like, you don't leave leftovers or you don't like. Them. With the third party taco guy. Pay attention to the conversation. Greg means when you take your food with you, you know there's.
Specifically. Leftovers from the taco. Guy. There's always taco guy leftovers. So because when you hire him to be your taco guy. He always there's always leftover. And he always here's here you go. Here's your leftover. Like he'll ask like, hey, can you send me, can you give me some Tupperware so I can load it up? And you get all the the leftovers the next day when you're hungover is shit. You just dump them in a pan with some eggs and cheese. Boom.
That sounds amazing, actually. That sounds fantastic. Well, why would it not sound fantastic? Exactly. Anyways, where were we? Why am I feeling so hurt? All of a sudden? Because you don't have a taco guy. You should. You need a taco guy. I'll send you his number. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. Anyway, so why didn't Taco it happen? It was great. No. I feel attacked for having a taco guy. Yeah. You shouldn't. You should feel very, very lucky. You should feel. Privileged. Have their own taco guy.
Some of us are starving. There are starving children in Utah. And you have your own taco guy. I mean, he doesn't live here. I feel like if there was any state, I would think that not starving kids, it would be Utah. Not starving kids. Yeah. Why? Well, Mormons. Yeah, but they have too many. Yeah, but they got a lot of food. That's a weird stereotype, but. Okay. I don't know. Too many wives to feed. Yeah. Yeah. Man, I could go for a sister. Wife. Damn. Yeah. So. Yeah. So tacos, anyhow. Arrives.
I don't know how to steer out of this storm, you know. Yes I do. Let's find out what Stef is drinking over there with a call to the pad.
¶ Bullpen Beer
Has fun adding Michelle. I won't. We are terrible people. Uh, I am drinking a kolsch, which is one of my favorite styles of beer. Oh, same. I'm a crispy girl. You're a crispy boy. I'm a crispy boy. Girl. I love a good kolsch. And it has to be done well. And, yeah, I'll take it over your standard lager or any of the other stuff. Yeah, I love a good kolsch, but sometimes I've had a kolsch that wasn't really a kolsch and I yelled at for calling it a kolsch anyway.
It's a kolsch style. Because it's like champagne. You can't call it champagne if it's not from the region. As long as you use the kolsch yeast. Okay. Anyway, so this one's from Bohemian Brewery here in, uh, Salt Lake City. It's not really a kolsch. This one is. This one does not have coffee in it, so I'm not gonna get yelled at. I love having coffee in my kolsch. I do too, but apparently it offends some people when I say, oh, I love that coffee kolsch. They're like.
I did a whole coffee kolsch collab. You did? Yeah, I thought you said that. I thought, yeah, I thought you were talking shit. Yeah, no I should. There's a brewery here. That once a year you were talking to Craig and not me. So you weren't talking shit. That makes sense. Swisher calls you. Bitch. That's right. Let me. It doesn't matter what it smells like, but let me swish it around my mouth and tell you how it tastes. That's how it's done, right, Flex. I wouldn't. Know.
Wouldn't you, though? We're just gonna. At some point. I wouldn't. Uses. How's that beer? It's delicious. It's crispy. It's delicious. I have lost track of what I was saying. I don't have an untapped. So I can't give you all the stats.
¶ Bohemian Brewery - Klsch
It's fair of my beer. Because first of all, when you swoosh. It's like you go like, cheek to cheek, right? So you're like. It's not mouthwash. That is proper. No, but that's what you swish. That was like. And that is how you swish. You go like cheek to cheek. Whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh. Right. I did not do that with my beer. I did not do it with my beer. Thank you very much. Some people, including some. People, did not swish and. Deflate the entire. Yep. That's what you. Did? Yep.
Mom and dad, they're fighting again. Yep. Get in the fucking closet, Greg. Bye, guys. Then pull it together. Okay. I do not have an untapped. This is a crispy kolsch. It's very traditionally kolsch. It is a traditional kolsch. It is. There is no coffee in it. There are fruit flavors. I do enjoy a coffee. Kolsch. But this is not it. This. This is a kolsch. Kolsch. Once again, I feel attacked for the coffee. Kolsch. But yeah. I there's a brewer here that makes the best coffee. Kolsch.
But I got asked about it. Oh, the words dude. My gosh, was the best coffee kolsch. Did you? You yourself made a coffee? I collab with a brewery who will go unnamed because now they're they've joined the dark side. But back when they weren't, we had a we did a collab as a coffee kolsch and it was delicious. We collab with the local coffee roaster and uh oh. So good. That's in there. Two flavors that just go well together so it makes sense. It's fine.
Coming to the now I get it. Whenever I try to do collabs, I try to get, you know, make them different and Can't get the net. I'm sorry I give the worst beer reviews on your show because I'm just like, it's beer. It's good. I'm gonna swish it around in my face. You're being attacked by some guy in Wisconsin. It's called the cuvée. Oh, dear. It's. Yeah. You're so right. I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad. I thought we were. We are. We wait. No, no. You're confused. You're the kids that are fighting.
Who's clearly who's in charge? I don't know. Not me. Nobody. Inmates or anything. All right. It's a free for all. Yeah. We'll move on and see what order we can keep. Uh Flexy. Yeah. Do any beer lately? Uh. Not much. Um, no.
¶ Not Much Beer Research
Don't ask me about your research, Greg. Okay. I'm not making it out much. Okay. Steph. Yo! Hey. Do you need, uh, beer? research lately or. Anything as far as, like tasting research? Yeah. Just hit any new breweries or new drops or. No, I think it'll happen. I think the last time I, the last episode I was on, I told you guys, I just try to Pliny the Younger for the first time. But that's really about as researching as I've gotten lately.
How about you? What about you, Greg? Have you done your research? I told you, man, I'm. I'm all about that wine life these days. That's right. Fancy pants. Classy. Classy drunk. No. I've been. I've been drinking whiskey a little bit lately, so. I know part of the reason I've been drinking so much wine and seltzers, to be honest, is, uh, you know, the figure? Yeah. Yeah. I just I don't. Yeah. Beers are very filling. I've been doing the. I've been doing similar. Uh, with the seltzers. Yeah.
¶ Don't Tell Anyone!
I don't sound so bad for a beer podcast. I don't do a ton of beer drinking at home anymore. I this is gonna sound bad coming from a beer professional who gets paid to do like two different, three different beer jobs. I don't drink much beer at home. Yeah, I will go out and do a little research here and there, but like the at home stuff doesn't happen very much outside of this show. Yeah. What's wrong with this? That's because I don't have friends actually come over.
This is the only when I drink a beer at home, it's usually with friends. And I've lost £13 since January. Holy shit. Yeah. Wow. That probably didn't. That is impressive. Real stuff. Yeah. Wow. Good job. Are you eating. Right? Yeah. Just, uh. It's like seltzers. Uh, Tuesday through Sunday and then beer on the podcast. Oh, my God, you guys, what's wrong with all of us? This just became the worst podcast ever. Yeah, I don't think. Next up is our AARP cards. Also, this beer show is about
¶ We're Old
how none of us drink beer. Brought to you by truly. We I got I I'm looking at beer right now on my fridge. There's beer. I'm drinking beer. I was at a beer festival and I saw there was a vizzy tent, and they were selling things that said, I love beer. And I was like, but. You're not even. All you're pouring is busy. It doesn't. Okay. How's that work? They got antioxidants. Must have been the booze or something. Whatever they are now. It was one of those big Beerfest
where everything's brought to you by. Oh, yeah. Mike's hard. Mike is hard. Yeah. Damn it! We did one of those Beerfest, like, local ones where it wasn't big, but they got donations. And clearly one of the local distributors had just donated a bunch of kegs, and nobody knew what they had. And there was like, oh, your random shit that no one cares about. Some Ballast Point, some or whatever. And they did have a keg of Pliny and they had no idea what they were pouring.
Yeah, and they were giving full pours. And so I was like, hey, friends who know what we're drinking. Anybody who wasn't blind. Oh my God. That's insane. Yeah, that was good times. The girl porn was like, oh, you guys must really like this. I'm like, yeah, you know.
¶ Pliny or Walmart Select?
We don't see it on tap all the time. We have. A couple brewers select, but. What is. Come on. What is? People are dumb. So anyways. All right little, little news. Before I tell you what I'm drinking over here. Well, do you think people that go to Beerfest, do you think they all know or, like, into beer or they're just like, I feel like it's. A good split. Like drinking. Good show.
¶ Who Goes to Beerfests?
I mean, I go because I want to try new shit, and I also want to catch a good buzz. But I think there's also a lot of people who are like, it's. Beer and it's all you can drink. That's what I was thinking, right? I think it's I, I really do think there's a good split. Uh, actually, one of my girlfriends that's a head brewer. She was. I was at the festival. Uh, I can't talk a festival this weekend. And she was a long festival, and I was like, how'd it go after I left?
And she's like, well, nobody puked, so that's a good thing. And I was like, does do people do that? And she's like, oh yeah, Where are you? And I'm, like, not puking. Yeah, I wouldn't think that happening there. Uh oh. No. I mean, we have plenty of. You get served plenty at a beer festival, but I was in at Great taste of the Midwest, and, like, I don't know, five minutes into it, some guys puking on the side of the sidewalk. Where are you fucking pregame
Jesus doing? Because in Wisconsin they pregame everything. Like pregame the pregame. It is a thing that happens here. Yeah, I've poured a Beerfest and I'll agree, it's pretty split. The funny thing was, I wasn't actually working for the brewery. I was just helping out. And you'd get the guys who were like, you know, IPA dorks, and they come up like, oh yeah, what hops are you using in this? Like, I didn't fucking make the beer,
¶ IPA Dorks
dude. I don't know the green ones. I'm that guy, though. Like, I'm, I'm very interested in. And I get it. I am to that aspect. If I know, I will absolutely tell you. But you were just boring. I was just festivals because they're big. You're getting beer poured to you by someone who's like a volunteer volunteer. I'd been asked by the actual brewery, I should have known a little bit more. They should have given me more information.
Yeah, but, you know, I was like, you know, I don't know, but I know it's, you know, it's West Coast style with notes of whatever, like. Yeah. And the funny thing is you get the people like, yeah, this isn't this isn't very good. I'm like, all right. Once again, did not make it. So don't feel obligated to drink it. I'm not gonna cry if you dump it. Yeah. It's just really not a good IPA. Like. Yeah, I heard you the first three times, homie. Yeah. You know, it'd be cool.
Is it Beerfest where the brewers pour the beer for you? That'd be cool. Yeah. Wait, I have one of those. Oh, tell us about it. My Beerfest in Utah. That's coming up. Our brewers pour their beer that they make. It's amazing.
¶ The Great Beer Mashup
It's like an educational event and a party. All. In one once. Oh, and no puckers. We'll see. Don't jinx. It. No promises. Yeah. I mean, plenty of beer to be. I would love for you guys. To get on a trip to Utah right now. What is it? It's in May, right? Yeah, It's May 10th, Flex. Are you busy? I said I'd spot you guys tickets if you got here. Probably busy. It's Mother's day weekend. Bring your wife. Every mom wants a beer festival. Yeah, especially Flex his wife.
She loves beer. Oh, yes. The biggest fan of. She's waiting for that Walmart pack to drop right now. Fan of the beverages. And some cocktails and some beers. And, I don't know, one year somebody made snow cone beers, and they were fucking delicious. Everything she still doesn't like because it has alcohol inside of the liquid. I'd rather have any beers. We actually, we don't have too many. And this year I was hoping we'd have a couple, but I don't think we have any. Honestly, I thought.
Maybe. There was any. No. What am I doing here? My time with you makes me feel like everything's in a real sober and painful. All right. Keep drinking. Just kidding. I love you like some kids. All right, if anybody wants to sponsor my my plane ticket out to Utah, I'd like to go to this festival. Gofundme.com. I would actually, seriously, genuinely. I've had a couple of our little, like, influencer community friends come out to our festival before,
and they said they had a great time. All right. I'll talk to the wife. Do it. Come on now. We have to go to Florida at the end of May. Yeah. Oh, I'm not looking forward to this. Saint Pete. That's a good point. Bad, actually. Yeah, that's all right. I was like, at least let's go to Miami. So we hang out with Vanessa or something. I was like, no, we're going to Saint Pete, which is like four hours away. So it's a nice area. Yeah, it'll be nice. This is the first and hopefully
last time I'm going. What are you going for? Some family members, high school graduation. Oh, it's. Not even a real thing. You should. You're flying for a high school graduation. Not by choice. That's crazy. Mm. I'm just gonna. Put that out there. That's crazy. Is this like a immediate family member of your wife? Somehow of the wife? Yes. Okay. There's a nephew. That's a long. That's a long trip for a high school graduation. I can't underscore. You're just correct. You are.
Like a whole week out of it. Mhm. Extended weekend. Oh, that's. Yeah. That's like a what is that, a five hour flight. Six hour flight. It's five. It's five there. It's like five there. And five and a half on the way back. I was gonna say it's shorter on the way there. Right. Yeah. From west to east. It's always faster. Yeah, exactly. So, uh, the good news is I've already gotten some beer recs from, uh. Vanessa. Vanessa and husband. They're like, oh, we we got all the beer breweries for you.
They're good because I'm going to need them. I love those, too. I have to say, I'm pretty sad that everybody's hanging out in Florida right now except us. They always try to get me to go out there for every fest. I'm like. It's fun. Although I'm like, why is everyone drinking stouts in frickin Florida? Oh my God, that's like the fucking Firestone Festival. First weekend of June in Paso Robles. It's always 113 degrees. I'm like, hey, who wants a barrel aged quad?
¶ Nobody Wants Your Barrel-Aged Quad
Nobody. Fuckers. Nobody wants this. Yeah, one of our breweries got invited to that one this year and they're all pumped. But I'm the same. I'm like, why are we just. Gil, give me a pilsner. Yeah. Who's your brother? Got a blow for a pale? The worst. Yeah. I've only been to one Firestone. And and look, it was good in the sense that it was big. Lots of breweries are invite only, but I don't need stouts when it's 110 out. It's odd. Florida loves their. Stuff.
I don't need them when they're 20 degrees out. Same. But I like to taste them. But I don't want I don't want a 16oz of stout. Except. For. Teddy bear kisses. For. Brew. In case Flex daughter is listening, it's the best beer he's ever had. Oh, that's really cute. I would have went into, you know, the description, but it's good. I think you did go in the description. No, no, no, I said it was good. I think we got derailed by this. Wishing we may have.
Everybody's listening to what swishing is because I cut most of it out. The drinking is what she meant. We're gonna have a separate. We're gonna go live at some point. Oh, gosh. We're gonna take a poll to see if Flex is swishing. Just drink. I'm gonna pull the video for everyone. No! Swish! We will do a pull up. I'll pull the video, see what people say. Uh, all right, a little news before we get up on here. California distillery is taking on New York over their shipping restrictions.
¶ California Distillery Takes On New York Over Shipping Restrictions
A Los Angeles craft spirits producer has taken on the entire state in a federal lawsuit filed last week challenging direct to consumer shipping laws prohibiting distillers in California from sending spirits to customers in New York. The complaint, filed by the obscure distillery in the US District Court for the Southern District of New York comes less than a year after New York Distillers and Ciders celebrated a bill, making New York the ninth state to allow direct to consumer
shipments within its borders. I remember that. Thank you. But the new law has some caveats, including that out of state distilleries can only ship to New York consumers if their home state offers reciprocal privileges. Sounds dirty, to the plaintiffs dismay. California does not. By allowing in-state distilleries privileges that out-of-state distilleries don't have,
the complaint argues. New York has created an unfair trade barrier, violating the Constitution's Commerce Clause, which prevents states from granting privileges to in-state businesses over out-of-state ones. I mean, it's just courtesy at that point. I agree. Yeah. Get what you give. Just can we get rid of these prohibition era laws and start shipping where the fuck we want? God, that would be so nice. Wouldn't it be nice? Just doesn't make sense.
No it doesn't. There's all kinds of weird distribution laws all over the country that I don't understand. Maybe I want some beer from Utah or some beer from. No, Nobody wants that. First of all, Steph has given me some from Utah and it was delicious. I've had beer from Utah and. I know we've talked about it from your like, uh, airline friend. Yeah. Yes. Uh, we. Have Tom Nardo DiCaprio as I refer to him. There you go. Just your whole Flex. I'm.
I'm joking. Uh, yeah. No. I've been. I don't know, you guys. Have you guys heard about all the. Here's some beer news? Oh, uh, Florida and Texas are both trying really hard to get their laws changed because they cannot self distribute. So they are both campaigning hard to be able to self distribute,
¶ Self Distribution is So Important!
which is crazy to me as I watch, like a local brewery owner put a bunch of kegs in the back of his pickup truck to like drive right to the neighborhood pub like Self-distribution. I know it's tough for breweries, but it's my favorite. It's amazing. Utah would not survive without it. Like, we almost everybody here. That's how they get their beer out there. I mean, these are small businesses. They don't have money to hire the
big distributors all the time. And so especially if you're delivering to the pub, that's two doors down. Like, why should I have to pay a distributor? Right. I can just walk it down. Best thing I've ever heard. The best is if you own multiple locations and you have to get a distributor to distribute your beer. To your own location. Yeah, I've seen that before. It's so stupid. So you think Utah is crazy? Go to Texas and Florida and apparently Georgia. Georgia? Yeah. A lot of fucked up post
prohibition shit. All right, before I talk about this story, I'm about to run out of beer, so I should probably mention it now. Greg. I got this beer. I think this is the first one I've had from these guys. This is Bissell Brothers Brewing Company out of Portland, Maine. Here's to feeling good all the time. Is the name of the beer. 7.8%.
¶ Bissel Brothers - Here's To Feeling Good All The Time
It's a double IPA. 4.37 an untapped over 21,000 ratings. Wow. It says I've been known to have a few beers. Then again, I've been known to do a lot of things. That is the entire description. That's how it should be. I love it. You said Bissell. Bissell. Bissell. Brothers like things that suck. Yeah, like the vacuum man. That was a brave move on their part. Right. I'm assuming it's the last name, but who knows? Uh, I wouldn't call this hazy. I'd call this unfiltered.
It's like. Jesse. Lacing is. Lacing is sexy. It's there. It's like a boudoir photo. A lot of lace all up in your face. On the schnoz. I get mostly dank, uh, piney notes and that kind of thing. Very, very Westie. Uh, the tongue does not follow far behind. It's real malty, which we all know how I feel about that. You know how I feel about that. It's got some. Great. Yeah, it's got some great flavors, but the maltiness could serve to
be dialed back a little bit. Mm. Yeah. That, uh, shouldn't be a thing. No, it's the tongue a little bit. I just wish it's a little cleaner. There is definitely some yeast at the bottom of my glass. Yeah. All right. It's fine. Doesn't suck. Four. Three. Seven. Feels generous. Four. Three. Seven. Good God. I know Bissel is a bit of a hype brewery. I don't know. Maybe it's because I got it from Tavour. And, you know, they don't treat their beers the what the best. I think they sit in someone's
basement or something. That's what I've. Heard. Yeah. So is my basement. We'll have blame it on that. No you don't. You would hate if somebody shipped you beer. That's accurate. Please. You don't have to know your address. Exactly. Uh. All right. A couple more stories we got here.
¶ Cape Cods Hog Island Beer Co. to Acquire Mayflower Brewing
Cape Cod. We talked about breweries merging last week. Cape Cod, hog Island Beer Company is going to be acquiring Mayflower Brewing out there on the East Coast. Damn it. We're just headed. For all these, like, Beeropolies. Right? Hey, cool word stuff. Thank you. You're welcome. Hey, it's. It's better than whatever hen house in Fort Pointe came up with last
¶ Beer-opolies
week. Was it chicken in a fort? I don't know. Something like that. Yeah. Cock Fort something I forget. Just be like Fort Coupe and just, like, done. See, Fort Coop was good. Look at you being mature. That's when the rest of us aren't. Uh, talking about Texas booze laws. Uh, there's been some ups and downs in the spirits world in Texas. A bill to sell spirit based rtds in grocery and C stores passed through
¶ Ups and Downs for Spirits
the Senate late last week, and we'll move on to the full Senate if passed. Spirit Rtds under 17% could be on shelves in time for Texas football season. Yeah. But on the other side of things, meanwhile, in Colorado. That's raising cattle. A new liquor laws put a stop to spirit sales in future grocery and big box stores. The law came in response to the expansion of wine and beer sales in larger channels, which hurt independent liquor stores. Now, the number of grocery stores
able to sell liquor in the state will remain capped at 36. That's so weird. Only 36 grocery stores can sell liquor. That's weird. That's weird. Weird. Cal or Calvin? Colorado is is fairly progressive in a lot of things. Not their booze laws. That's really because you know why? Because Colorado is beer country. They got the they got the like they're one of the beer mafia states. They don't. They have the most breweries. No, we've been through this. California? Yes, California.
But I think Colorado's second. Colorado has a. Lot. Yeah. Colorado's a town. Um, music and breweries. I don't know if Steph has to deal with this kind of legality stuff. Is this new Jersey? It's not. Because I know they've had issues with it, so no one's fine over here. We love you, new Jersey. Oh, wait. Unless it's the, uh, the licensing. Here we go. Yeah. Now you're on to it. The Brewers Association has submitted
¶ The Cost of Music at Breweries
comments to the US Copyright Office expressing members deep dissatisfaction with the use of performing rights organizations. Pros which license copyrighted music. The Copyright Office has issued a notice of inquiry for pros. The BHA noted that pro pricing makes no economic sense for small businesses like brewpubs and taprooms, that are required to obtain the licenses for only a few events
versus year round music venues. The trade group wrote the high cost of the current system increasingly makes music a yes no question for small and independent breweries. Many of our members report that they have stopped offering music to their guests due to the high cost of pro fees and the threat of litigation and Copyright Act damages.
I didn't know about this until a couple of years ago, but like just to play music in a brewery, let alone have someone like a cover band playing songs that are copyrighted, you have to have like three different licenses for this. It's insane actually. And they will. They'll call you a thousand times. Yeah. And they'll send you cease and desist letters and sue you. And they'll try and send you, like, invoices and shit. Yeah, I've heard saying. I've heard of ASCAP just sending
invoices to breweries before. Yeah. It's it's it's it feels very threatening when they call you over and over and over again. What I don't understand is why does the brewery need the license and not the person singing it? Um, well, it doesn't matter if you're if it's a musician or because the brewery is the one making the money, I think. But you're paying the position. Right. But customers are coming to the brewery. Sure. So the whole thing is so weird.
I mean, I understand that somebody's got to get paid for something, but this whole Mafia shakedown is. It's insane. And I know the Brewers Association has been kind of trying the rest to fight it off for breweries all over the place, but. Well, good. Hopefully they hopefully something. I mean, maybe pay per event or something for the smaller people. Just nonsense actually. Like they're not making enough money, but they actually will track
your like Spotify usage. And if you're using a streaming service in your brewery, there's a way for them to track it so that. Yeah. It's insane. It's awful. I think one of the I don't know if it's Spotify, I think one of the streaming services does offer like a professional level. Right? There is um, I know like Sonos will do it. And I think there might be a Spotify one, but I'm here to tell you that the music selection is ass. It is the worst. Just careless whisper on repeat.
Say you bite your tongue. Bite your tongue, Greg. Never got to dance again. Keep going. No rhythm. It's easy to pretend.
¶ Sexy Sax
And no, you're not a fool. Now we're gonna get sued. Great. We're gonna get an invoice. Actually, Greg's getting an invoice. It's not me. That song is amazing. It's not. It's actually a terrible. Year, actually. Dumb. That was a great comeback. I got a I got a good story about that song. We were hanging out with Nick and Nicole and Wiley of the Booze League, or whatever they call themselves now, and he has there. What's that? Um, something. Tunes where you can play the
jukebox from your phone. Oh. That's an old you know what I'm talking about. It's the something tunes and and basically, if the brewery or the bar has it, you can instead of having a, an old fashioned jukebox, you do it from your phone and you can like, pay for credits on your phone and stuff. Oh, you could wait, wait, you can pay for that shit on your phone. Yes. I had no idea. Yeah. That's right. So anyways, we were just within range of this bar that he frequents a lot.
So that from his house he would on repeat requests. Yeah. Whisper. And he goes watch I do it. And so he do it. And I was like, we need to find out for sure. So I called the bar and I and I just did the whole like, hey, how late are you open tonight? And she's like, I can hear tonight. But as she answered before, she said, hi, this is such and such bar. You're. Yeah, there's. It's. So. Good. There's a lot of bars now that have the little like jukebox
that you can just like. Yeah. And you don't have to be in the bar to set it off. No, you can torture as many strangers as you want. I don't. Know. I was dying. I wish I was at a bar where somebody was playing Careless Whisper on repeat. I bet you do that. And, uh, never gonna give you a. Hey, that's a good song, too. Isn't that the risk that you just recklessly. Recklessly. So, uh, the numbers. Come to. The numbers are in the 2024 top 50 US craft brewing companies,
¶ 2024 Top 50 Craft Breweries
ranked by beer. Volume produced or sold in the US. Sam Adams. Oh, they're always on their, uh, top ten. I'm not going to go through all 50, but top ten are number ten steps. Favorite monster brewery for brewing? Excuse me. I'm angry. Yeah. You don't. You don't like count one. I guess they count as even though they're a conglomerate of breweries. So they own, like, I don't even know how many. They own a crap ton of brewery. They own ten. I think they've closed four already. So they count as one.
I guess so that's bullshit. That's like saying my pinky toe counts as all the toes. Right. It's. You don't have enough socks for that. Yeah. Exactly. Uh, number nine, Brooklyn brewery. Number eight. This makes me mad. Athletic Brewing company. I hate that. There needs to be alcohol in it. And it's so expensive. That I don't. Yeah. That's odd. Have you ever been out in an establishment? Yeah.
You've looked at their menu like, say, like you're at a restaurant and you look at the domestics, you look at the imports, and then you look at the owner's athletic brewing. And he is always just as expensive as a regular craft beer. But do you know why? I'm assuming I don't. Because they're expensive to brew. I'm. I mean, I don't know if that's what they're saying is the excuse, but they're expensive to brew, so it depends on if you. Never mind. I don't know.
Because if you're brewing it, there are only a very few breweries who brew so that it doesn't have alcohol in the beginning. The rest brew restroom and then remove the alcohol. And it's like a big, long, expensive process, right? Do you know what athletic is? Um, I think they remove the alcohol, don't they? That was my guess. That's what I thought they did. There. I think there are very few who brew it in the beginning. So go brewing in Chicago.
I think they brew theirs originally without the alcohol. Their their neighbor is actually really good. I've never heard of them. Um, they're really, really good. Because of the couple I've tried. It seems like the ones that brew it with alcohol and then remove it later. Taste more like beer than the. Yeah, never had alcohol. But it is a big it's a pretty. From what I've heard. It's a pretty expensive process to like remove the alcohol. Well they essentially like
vacuum it out. It's kind of cool to look into if you ever want. It certainly does suck. Interesting. That was for the Bissell brothers. Actually. It wasn't for suck cut. Get a load of. This guy came for the sucker. Actually, we always talk about, you know, a little bit of Wayne's World while we're here. Actually, it's pronounced Milwaukee. Exactly. Where was I? Oh, Athletic. Uh, number seven, Matt brewing Company. Hey, Matt. Good one. Yeah. Number six.
Gambino's. Never heard of it. That's not a real word or a real name. Sounds like a disease. They have a disease? Yeah. I hear there's a cream for that. Doctor said I can't breathe this shit, man. Sorry to hear. That. How long do you have to live? Uh. Number five. Duval Moore got number four. Tilray brands, which is another conglomerate. So is Duval. Duval is Firestone. And, um, something else. Uh, number three, finally, a real brewery. Sierra Nevada. Number two.
I drink their beer. Yeah. Yeah. I'll drink a hazy little thing when I'm getting dinner or something. Uh, number two, Boston Beer Company. Classic. Which is so many different things. Besides Sam Adams, it's Dogfish Head. They apparently have the number one light lager, uh, in the country. Now, I didn't know. That Sam Adams does. Yeah. Mm. And it's just called, like, Sam Adams light lager. Creative. Like. Soon to be a Walmart. Uh, then the number one top craft brewery in the in the country,
which also not craft anymore. Yingling. Yeah. Not a fan. I just I'm. Not. Okay. I mean. It's. Just bad. Like a basic lager. It's just not a fan. Fine. I'll take it over at PBR. I wouldn't. What about a PBR coffee? Oh, I wouldn't. I've had a Yuengling, and, uh. Yeah. No, I just don't get it. I don't. I've only had it once or three times because I was on the East Coast, and that's the only place I don't find it. I can't get Yingling here in Utah unless somebody brings it here,
so. Damn. But I can't even. I can't get it in Wisconsin. Really? Yeah. That's weird. I found it everywhere in New Orleans. So, like, random places, you'd think that you could get it in Wisconsin. So to Saint Louis last summer. And they had it in plenty there. But you can't get it here in Wisconsin. Because you guys are part of the, uh, why can't I think of the beer that you guys have? I don't know, everybody loves what the cows come on down there. New Glarus, new Glarus. Yeah.
You're part of the New Glarus like mafia. They're not going to allow you some mingling in there. What? I'm not cows. Not even. Great. Well, that's not the point. Flex. Swish that around in your mouth for a minute. Think about it. I don't I. Did not bring that up again. I'm done. And that was the end of that, man. I end a lot of shows. I'm sorry. The last crappy Republic episode ever. I've been fired from beer nerd radio like ten times, but they haven't
changed the code, I just think. I believe I believe that, though. I do. Like Milton. You just keep getting paychecks. And I do have a red stapler, actually. I told them if they take my stapler, I burn the place down. I think it's upstairs. I do have that. I have a swing line. It's red. It's fantastic. Of course you do. It's a great stapler. Couldn't have it any other way. All right, let's wrap things up. Uh, make sure you go out to Steph's Beerfest. May 10th. May 10th in Salt Lake City.
The great beer mashup. It's gonna be fantastic. Somebody sent me some money to fly me out. It's gonna be some ashing.
¶ Smuh-Mashing
It's gonna be so much. Acting like you were almost the aliens from a lawsuit. So much swishing will happen at that event. Follow us on the socials at @CraftBeerRepublic. @Flex_me_a_beer underscores in
¶ @CraftBeerRepublic @flex_me_a_beer
between and of course, one of these days. Go check out Miss Tipsy Socks. But in the meantime, go to Beer Nerd Radio. Follow them. Sure. 853 beer 2337 mail @CraftBeerRepublic. Com Steph. Thanks for making fun of us for two weeks. In a row. You're welcome. Thanks for letting me out. I just love you guys. Yeah, we loved it. We love. You. Come back soon. But not to. Try and stop me. Oh, God. I hope everyone out there stayed very well hydrated. And on that note. Good night everybody.
