5 Alcohols Please

Ah, welcome in everybody! It's the Craft Beer Republic! Thanks for drinkin', thanks for joinin'. I am Greg, I am being joined by Captain Milwaukee, and that's Flexy. What's up, buddy? I like that name. Do you know what I'm thinking right now?

What are you thinking? That you're thirsty? We need to, like, get a dialogue script of a Fraggle Rock episode, and then just read it off in our shitty Boston accent. Wow, it's been a minute since we brought up the Van Duzas. But actually, like, recite an entire episode. That just crossed my mind. That's been so long! For, like, two years. Yeah, do we need to get Coley back in here and just find a Fraggle Rock script?

That'd be great. Yeah. I would never put the episode out there. No, just a half an hour of us and Fraggle Rock and no one can ever hear it. I keep threatening it, and I don't even know if I still have the files anymore at this point. I bet you do. Yeah. Who do you want? I want to be, uh, Gobo. Is that the guy with the orange hair and the no eyes? I don't know. He was the only name I could come up with. Oh, and Red. Gobo Red. Red's the guy with the orange hair, then.

Yeah. Of course, Sprocket's the dog. Yeah. Sprocket. Anywho. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. So, yeah, I don't know, it just randomly popped into my head. Yeah, I like that. It's been a minute. Follow the Van Duzas at Craft Beer Republic, and of course, flex me a beer

underscores. In between. It's me. That is you, Mr. Flexy Van Duzer. We've got quite the show for you. Got some beers to tell you about. Mine comes from a trip. We have a voicemail from the Fontana Gym. What's he on about this time? Oh, he's angry at me. We will get to that. Some ludicrous libation law, booze news, and so much more. If you guys don't mind, I'm going to crack open a beer because it 's going to lead into my story about a trip. Oh yeah. You know I'm going to love this

one. Do you know what this is just based off the can art? It's at Alaskan Brewery. Now, sorry, denied. I am drinking. What's it called? Anchorage? No, it's not that. No, no, no. I am drinking. There does not exist. Spirit Molecule. 6.6% has a 396,

only 168 proteins. It is a hazy IPA. They say Spirit Molecule is a center of the universe style hazy IPA brewed with all the oats and wheat plus DMT. Just kidding, dude. There is absolutely zero DMT in this beer, even if it makes you feel like it. Hopped at life changing levels with Citra, Cashmere, Comet, Nelson, and a touch of Columbus Cryo. It's got all the heavy overripe tropical fruit you could want. Plus some dank hippie lettuce to balance. Go ahead,

friend. Take the trip. We're here for you. Been hanging out with the writers at Stone. On the schnoz, a lot of that tropical fruit they reference. Like some ripe mango. Maybe some peach in there, a little bit of dankness. Let's do the real work here and stick in the old tongue job. Dig right in. Okay , so the tropical fruit is delicious. And here's where Flex would get a little hard on. Got a little bit of that hot burn after the tropics. I'm a little bit hard on. A little semi going

on, a little half chup. And then it finishes off a little dank and it just coats the tongue with that sticky icky. Man, I love me some hot burny dank IPAs. Yeah, it is good. As you can see, it is a proper hazy. It is gorgeous. It's leaving quite the lacing . Yeah, some great lacing. It's oowee as they say. So of course I took a little trip up north-ish and went wakeboarding, but had to stop in at There Does Not Exist. Naturally. Yeah,

we had the day off. We took a day off. We were going to go on the lake a day early to avoid the crowds going on on Friday, but we were going up to my sister's house to go wake boarding with her and her husband. Did you know she got married? Yeah. Not very well known. And she had to work that day instead. So we just went up, made our way up there, stopped at There Does Not Exist and had a beverage. You know what? We're so cheap. We stopped at Costco,

which is not too far. And we got gas and some hot dogs. No, some hot dogs. And we took the hot dogs order. There Does Not Exist and had lunch and beer because they don't have food there. Oh, hey, that is well, it's great. Yeah, worked out well. So then went

up, got some wakeboarding in. Oh my God, I totally forgot about this story until just now. So we got some wakeboarding on Friday night when we got up there. We didn't wake board on Friday. We did a little wine tasting. You know, we're wine club members at a bunch of places, so between all of them. Kind of a big deal. Kind of a big deal. I got badges and shit. Between the two groups, the two couples, we can do some pretty good free drinking around town

where she lives in Paso. And we had a couple of wine tastings. We're not, you know, we're not drunk by any stretch. We hit up the grocery store to get some dinner to take back and make. And I was like, oh, let's get a couple bottles of wine to cap off the night. I shit you not, I'm walking back to the car. The wife stayed in the car because we had dog with us. And she said something out the window like, oh, you got wine. And I went,

oh yeah. And I raised the bottles up in the air. Like, yeah, I got wine. I

dropped one. Oh no. Shattered all over the parking lot. No man. It just, it looked like a fucking murder scene. So I, I actually picked it up. I was like, I felt so bad. I was like, I don't want a car to run over this and pop their tires or something. So what a great human you are. I picked it all up, threw it away. Uh, some dude and his Tesla was watching the entire thing. I was so embarrassed. I feel like such a fucking, I wasn't even drunk.

Accidents happen. I know. I feel like a dumb shit, but uh, yeah. Also alcohol abuse. There's the bottle of wine sitting on the parking lot. Now you lick any of it up and a little Zamboni action, gross. Oh, so pissed. And then, uh, next day, well next two days, Saturday and Sunday did some wakeboarding. Um, as this episode drops, I don't, I think I 've posted it already. Uh, I did try to do a little photo shoot out on the wakeboard with a beer. No

way. I thought that'd be funny for the Graham, uh, brought out a, um, fuck,

what was it? Humble C. I brought out a humble C that I just found in the fridge. And I was trying to figure out like, how am I going to get up on this wakeboard one handed? Cause I'm, you know, I'm strong, but not that strong. And plus I was so, it was so tired as the last run of the day. So I ended up like tucking it in my life vest, which was very cold. And I got up, pulled it out. So hard. So at this point, like once I'm up out of the water,

like I've, you know, I'm one handing the rope. In fact, I've got it like in the crux of my elbow. I'm just hanging on the handle that way. I'm opening the can, I'm drinking it. Uh, it was like a two year old beer that I just found in the back of the fridge . And it was supposed to be a hazy IPA at that point. Like all the Hayes had dropped. And this is not a shot at humble Z cause I love their, their murkies. They're great. But, um, we're

foggy fog. He's right. Yeah. They're great. But, uh, it did not age. Well, it was definitely a dino and I'm out there and I didn't realize how old it was. So afterwards I looked at the date and, uh, I go to take my first sip as a weight board and I'm like, yeah, here we go. And I like go to fucking pound it. I was like, but like I was spinning out dust. Yeah. I was not expecting that level of bitterness cause it said, Hey, or a fog gy on the front

of the can. I was like, Oh God. Oh man. That's hilarious. Yeah. So if you haven 't seen it, go check the gram for photos of me pretending I was drinking the beer, uh, while wakeboarding. I'd never done that before. And it was, uh, it was an experience, something you put on your resume now. Exactly. My alcoholic resume and now includes wake boarding one handed

while drinking a beer. So I'm still working on a, I don't know if I ever told you I got a long board for father's day. Oh yeah. You did tell me that. Yeah. So, uh, I know maple wood brewing and Illinois, they have a beer called sidewalk surfer. I might even had it on the show once. And, uh, my goal is to drink this beer. We'll long boarding. We need to make it happen. And I feel like that would be like the coolest thing ever. Yeah . Yeah.

Put it in your life vest first. That's what, well, or like a helmet. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. But that's what your story reminded me of is I eventually got to do

this, but I'm so scared. I'm looking. Did you ever, you did have sidewalk surfer batch three 61 about a year ago. Yeah. Sounds about right. Really good beer. Yeah. Um, so yeah , so that was fun. God poured beer at one point. Like I got back in the boat and the wife 's like, I thought she goes, why are you pouring beer all over yourself? Like I thought you were doing some wrestling, like, or not pouring, but like spitting beer out. She's like, why

are you spitting the beer out? Were you doing like some wrestling thing? I was like, no, I took a giant fucking drink and was very surprised that what ended up in my mouth.

That's what she said. The fact that your wife is like, Oh, he, he went on his wake board and he did a triple H impression. She doesn't know enough to know that it was a triple H impression, but it says a lot about you though. I thought you were doing a wrestling thing. I mean, who says I wasn't, that's the best part of the whole story. I am the game. It's all about the game. Oh man. Yeah. Good times. Good times. Check out the gram at crappy Republic

for me trying to chug this very old, not fresh. I can't wait. Yeah. Uh, before I forget top listening city of last week, Minkler, California as a native Californian. I've

never heard of it before. I had to look it up. I know nothing about California. It's hot. It's very hot, especially in Southern. Uh, Minkler apparently is like 20 miles East of Fresno. So thanks Minkler for Fres. Yeah. No, take that out of the show. That was horrible. Edit point. Also, I want to give a shout out. This is a weird one to Romania. You know how we're always topping the charts in

Finland. Constantly. Yeah. We topped some Romanian podcast charts last couple of weeks. is happening? Yeah. It's very weird. Like a couple of episodes charted as well as the show overall. Um, so Hey Romania, if you're listening, thanks for listening. That's kind of cool. Um, I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out. Do you ever see Roman ians? It just makes me think of, uh, the movie Eurotrip. I love Eurotrip. And it's such a cult classic

for me. Uh, but when they go to like Eastern Europe and everybody is like 20 years behind the times, you know, and the ladies wearing like the where, or the guy comes out and he's like, Hey, where's the beef? You know, he's like, Miami Vice, number one, new show just makes me think that there's some kind of like time warp where it's just like crappy Republic. It's like the number one podcast. There's still listening to episode three over there.

Crappy Republic. Number one, new show. I hope that's what's happening over there. Hopefully. Yeah. So Hey Romania, what's up? But not to, you know, overshadow. Hi Finland. Still love you guys too. I will do some Romanian deadlifts. So in, in lieu of this accomplishment, that's very, um, commending commendable of you. It's a real exercise, Greg. I totally believe you. I lift weights all the time. Clearly, clearly do. Yeah. It shows in my fat face and your

one handed wakeboarding skills. Yeah, exactly. Nailed it. Yeah. This, this world trip is really shaping up. We've got Finland, uh, Romania. Was it South Korea I think was charting a few weeks ago. Yeah. We got a certain itinerary. Yeah. Let's gas up the jet. You got a jet? No. Probably closer to jets than I am. I don't know. Erica's married to a surgeon. We dreamy. I wonder if he's got a jet. He's got a good money, right? Got to get places fast to do

her. He's got to cut people open and shit. He's got money and has to be places fast. I guarantee he has a jet. Erica, are you holding out on us? It dream. He's got a jet, right? Show us the jet. Show us the jet. Oh gosh. Have you done any local research

since you're at St. Louis trip? You still drinking St. Louis beers? Still drinking all the St. Louis beers. Um, yeah, I haven't, uh, got out too much locally. I'm kind of a loser. Um, I wouldn't do that. I won't. No. But, uh, yeah, just a ton. I actually brought home way more St. Louis beer than I was expecting. Um, then a problem. No, I was, I was actually like happy

about it. Oh, okay. Good. You know, or it was like a couple breweries we stopped at, you know, took them to go and then a couple of times we had to stop at a, I love their grocery store name by the way. Um, it's called Schnucks. All right. Um, it's just a goofy ass name, right? And every time we had to pass a Schnucks, my kids were like, Hey dad, Schnucks, you know, uh, Schnucks, but their beer selection was always pretty

solid and I'm very Midwestern. Yes. Um, so when I'm in a foreign land or land of St. Louis, um, I'm very, uh, very talkative, right? Oh, I'm always trying to talk to the locals, chat up the, uh, cash register person. Or so we were, we was in the beer aisle and it's, uh, it's in the middle of the store. Like as if there was, it was like a frozen food department. Okay. And, uh, there's a couple of beer vendors that are filling up their stuff and it was,

uh, eight 30 in the morning, which here you can't buy alcohol till nine. Really ? In Wisconsin? Yeah. That's surprising. It's like a huge ordinance. Can't buy alcohol till 9am

. But they don't cut you off till 8am. Well, when we had the RNC here, a lot of people were staying open till 4am. Oh, is that a big deal? 4am? Yeah. What can bar closes 2 am here? Yeah. Bar closes at 2am, last call at 1.30am. Yeah. Some places downtown were staying open till like 4am. Do they have to get like special permits for that? Do I look like a city councilman?

Uh, I mean the glasses make you look smart. Okay. Fair enough. Um, and I'm not, but anyway, I was talking to the guys and they didn't seem like they wanted any part of it. And I was like, you know, I had like an armful of beer and I was like, Hey, can I like buy this now? And they just kind of looked at me like, what? And I said, Oh, I said , well, in Wisconsin I said, we can't buy alcohol until after 9am. You know, it is 830 and they're

like, Oh yeah. They're like, I'm pretty sure there's like, it's ordinance by County, but they're like, I don't think that's a thing. So I'm sure it's not. If I went to the register and bought like five packs of alcohol, I'll take five alcohols, please. Beer is

not alcohol. Um, I guess I, right. As proven by John Candy. Thank you. John Candy. Yes. Who didn't know what a dry County was. Yeah, that's great. Those Canadians do it right. That was funny. I also heard another Canadian story that at the store, I don't know if it still exists, but this is like a story from the nineties when you go to buy a Tylenol, it's not Tylenol. It's actually coding. Come on. Yeah. David Spade was talking about this on his podcast.

He's like, I didn't know I was getting so high. I just had a headache. He's buying all his Cody and popping like four at a time. Oh, that was Tylenol. Yeah. Wild. Yeah. So, uh, yeah. They don't know what a dry County is and you can just get Cody and over the counter. Like it's no big deal. Where, where was that? We should go up north. Oh man. We go up North here. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. Well, while we're talking about St. Louis and buying

beers, let's just, let's just fucking get right into it. Thanks in a world wher

e craft is drinking. Well, hello everybody. Uh, so today, yeah. So I'm drinking St. Louis beer. Like I said, last week I stopped at four hands brewing and they're about 30 blocks South of Bush stadium Bush where the Cardinals play. And, uh, I bought a scale of complexity, which looking at them up on, on, on tapped, I didn't realize it was like a series. Oh

, so this is kind of neat. It's a hazy IPA series and it seems that they do like a single hop in it. Oh, I like that. I was lucky enough to come across the cashmere hop. Oh fuck. Yes. Yeah. I, I, again, I saw this beer. You're the first person I thought of. I know how you feel about cashmere hops. Very hard. Um, so, uh, apparently it must be relatively new or people just haven't rated it, but only 201 chickens. Okay. So maybe I got some fresh

of the fresh and those St. Louis are like fucking cashmere again. Who needs it? Uh, but it did three, eight, six rating. Okay. So, you know, still respectable for whatever above average 201 ratings. Yeah. It says scale of complexity. Cashmere, the 10 th in our rotating series of hazy IPAs is heavily dry hopped with cashmere hops resulting in a beer with lower bitterness, but massive aromas and flavors of zesty lime, ripe berries and lemon peel.

So I'm going to tell you what, Greg, tell me, crack the can. And I always sniff . Do you sniff the can after you crack it or do you wait to pour it before you, um, I generally wait till it's been poured, I would say. Okay. So I always smell after cracking the can. Okay. To then see if there's anything to differentiate from can to pour. Hmm. Right. Okay. I find that my nose isn't that great, so I need my wide open glass in order to fucking smell.

Don't do that to yourself. I like your stuff. You have a great nose. Oh, thanks . It's wonderful. So I crack the can and I pick up a lot of malt character. Hmm. Right. So I'm disappointed. Immediately I'm disappointed. Right? Like where's this going? So then I pour the beer out. Boy, I pick up on a lot of malt character again, Greg. I'm starting to lose it. I am starting to lose my fucking mind. Right. So then we warm up the old tongue jab ber. Oh

yeah. Never gets old, even though it probably should. Here's where it gets me. It says it's got like the lime flavor, the berry, the lemon peel. It comes through in the flavor. Oh, like it's wild. There's a little bit of, of malt character, uh, like in the background. Like an appropriate amount. Right. It doesn't overpower what it is. Um, and it says it is a hazy IPA and it's hazy. It's 6.5%. So it's, it's a little bit on the lighter side, but

this is, it is what it is. Like it's what they tell you it is. So it super solid beer. They did a good job on it. I don't know why there's so much malt on the aroma, but yeah, the flavors come through and it's, it's not as juicy as I would prefer a hazy. Okay. But it is a, it's a good beer. I would drink this beer again. I have had this beer before the show so I have had it again. Right. Um, I would have it again and again. How did the

St. Louis beers stack up to your algorithm? How was the pricing down there? Oh shit, man. I forgot to tell you about this shit. By the way, if you ever heard about Flex

's trip last week, we talk all about it. So I, the first time I bought beer at or in St. Louis was at four hands and I grabbed two, four packs there. I grabbed a hoodie and then I had a beer and then we bought like some french fries and tater tots and shit for the kids. And it was like the whole bill was like 70 bucks. The sweatshirt was only like 30. Holy shit. I'm just like, what's happening here? Sweatshirts out here like 70 bucks. Yeah.

No, believe me when I got the receipt and I was just like, Oh holy shit, I would have bought two. They forgot something. So then, um, I didn't even look at the price of the four packs, right? I'm just kind of like, okay, this is kind of weird. Then, uh, we stopped at one of these schnucks one morning we were heading out to the Purina pet farm that they have out there,

which is kind of, it was, it was neat. I didn't talk about it last week, but they like train the dogs and they have like this whole dog show and like the agility thing and the pool diving shit like you. I didn't know they had that out there. Yeah, it's crazy. It was really neat. That's a lot of headquarters in St. Louis. I figured out, well now I can absolutely convince the wife to go between the Budweiser Clydesdales and the Purina farm and this is

a no brainer. Yeah. And pretty solid beer. So then, so we stopped at one of these schnucks and I'm perusing the beer aisle, you know, and I talked to the guys and um, they were kind of rude, but, uh, I'm pulling out some beers and I had to get out someone tapped on some and just, you know, cause I wasn't familiar with too many of the brewer ies. Sure. So I bought this four pack, uh, from second shift. I've never heard of second shift. I

think I've heard of third shift. I think I've had second shift via Tavor. So I got this triple dry hopped double IPA. It was 8% 12 and 99 for a four back for a four back. So then Tavor is ripping us off. It's like that much for a beer. Jesus. So then I told you I found that, uh, maybe I didn't tell you on air. Um, I found the volume. We, we have

a, I had a couple of these Voltron series. Oh yeah. We were talking about the forehands and uh, they collab with the brewery and uh, five Voltron bots, five beers. Well I found the series five at this Schnucks. I'm just going to keep saying that. And it was a collab with tripping animals. Again, it's like a hazy IPA. They use, I think it was like Nelson and something else. And I'm, I'm a whore for Nelson and I'm also a whore for these Voltron

series. Um, I think it's like 7% and it was like 1199, 1299. Okay. And I'm just like, if I lived in St. Louis, their beer prices are amazing. Yeah. And they fit the algorithm perfectly. I'll send you a picture of the second shift can too. It looks wild. Just really well done. A little bit of abstract but simple at the same time. And uh, yeah, I guess St. Louis kills it with the beer price. Well, and that's pretty good for you to say

because sometimes you talk about four pack prices in your hood. I'm like, that 's it for four. Are you sure you didn't just buy two? Right, right. So it's clearly different, um, you know, from here to you. But I always thought it was really good here. Like for most of the stuff we have, apparently it's better in St. Louis. I wonder if they have to compete

with like Budweiser prices. So that also crossed my mind as well because when I stopped at heavy riff and I was talking to the wonderful beer tenders there, I said, Hey, I said, you guys distribute at all, you know, cause I just, I was pissed. I couldn't spend enough time there. So I just want to have more, more of their beers. Makes sense. And they said, uh, no, they said getting distribution around here is kind of hard. And I said, yeah, I

said, I bet a and B doesn't make it easy on anybody. And one of the guys was like, no, they don't. I can't say anything too loud because we're bugged, but they don't. Yeah. So that, uh, it's a shame. It is a shame. It's a shame. It makes me wonder how four hands finds their way. Cause they, you know, they, we had the Voltron beers a couple of

times out here. I've seen one other of their beers and a total wine, but well, and not to get too nerdy, but Budweiser also has a distribution arm that is separate

from, you know, beer or like the beer making arm. Okay. So in theory, I think you could distribute with Budweiser, but not be owned by Budweiser. Interesting. So if you could convince them to carry your shit, then you might actually get some shelf space. I did not know that like stone when stone sold Sapporo only bought the brewery. The distribution side of stone

was a separate business and they still exist and they distribute. Now the funny thing is they still distribute stone, but they also distribute some local stuff around me like tarantula Hill made West Enneagrin. They're all distributed by stone distribution. Interesting. Yeah. It's, it's fucking weird. The whole like distributing and three tier system and all that shit. It's weird. It's all Budweiser's fault too. Again, that's all I could think

of when I was there. Yeah. Thanks to prohibition. All right. Before we hear from Fontana gym and how angry he is at me real quick, got to mention magic mind. We've been

talking about them for a while. Add them to your morning routine. Have a cup of Joe, have a magic mind. You'll probably need less Joe and we all know we're tired of Joe. Actually I love coffee. But anyways, I take it. It's easy. It's one little shot. It's green. It's surprisingly pretty tasty. I think you can attest to that. I will attest it is not bad. Uh, it takes about half a second to drink this thing. Yeah. Um, then it works. If it takes more than that,

then you need to work on your drinking skills. Oh, you need to work on maybe a lifestyle change. It's a very small, like I think it's like two ounces. It was a nice little shot in the morning with your coffee. Uh, helps the coffee last longer. I don't find that I'm reaching for energy drinks, you know, around one or two o'clock in the afternoon. Just keeps me going a little bit longer on that. I talked about this last week.

my performance enhancing drug when it comes to trivia night. I do not miss my magic mind when I'm doing trivia that night. Otherwise Deb and intern Brian may fire me from the team. I believe it. Yeah, they're, they're the best. Like they're so much better than we are. They're so fucking smart with the trivias. But uh, anyways, magic mind helps me not look stupid around Deb and Brian trivia. Yeah. Trivia, which is fantastic. I know it's

helped you with your, uh, your memory stuff. Yeah. I feel like it, it really clears out your headspace. Um, it dials you in. Yeah. The focus. Uh, don't forget your lunch. It's there. You don't forget the lunch. I now, um, yeah, no, I, you know, I'm always skeptical about, uh, natural products, right? We're in the age of modern medicine, right? Yeah. You put a bunch of plants in something who knows, right? So, you know, the holistic to

all natural, always skeptical about it. Elixirs, if you will. Right. Uh, this stuff does it. Yeah. I enjoy it. I actually do. Um, they sold, they sold me. Yeah. I like that . There's no sugar. You know, me, no carbs, except for rear, uh, which is a lot of carbs, all natural ingredients, keto friendly, not free vegan, paleo friendly. Like I said , no sugar has matcha in it, which seems to be the, the, the main flavor is, is macho, which is definitely

not a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all. Not a bad thing at all. Uh, so anyways , I mean, this sounds good to you. Sounds like something you need a little more focus or a little memory or you will try and not have four cups of coffee like me every day. I'm trying to keep it down to like two or spend $8 at Starbucks every morning. Oh gosh. That's another story.

I was about to go on a whole Starbucks rant. We'll save that. Uh, just have some magic mind and say, if you go to magic mind.com/craft beer and use our code craft beer 20, you get up to 48% off your first subscription, 48%. You know, that is, that's almost half. That is almost 50%. Almost half right there. Or 20% off a one-time purchase. If you just want to give it a try and they, they even have a money back guarantee, a hundred percent

money back, no questions asked. You have a hundred days to try it. If you don't like it, you let them know they give you a little refund. So magic mind.com/craft beer, no Republic and craft beer 20 is the code to use. All right, we've been teasing this. I think it's time to find out why Fontana Jim is mad at me. Cause you're a nice guy. I don't know what you could do to anybody to make them upset. I do appreciate that, but I'll

be, I should just play it, but I will be honest. He has a fairly valid point here. So here is Fontana Jim. Hello, no one is available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone. Hey, listen to all you nuggets. This is Fontana Jim calling in.

Look, I got a bunch of, a bunch of advice and a bunch of ways to tell you knuckleheads how to drive. I'm going to save that for another call right now. I need to address, um, idiot founder, Greg, Greg, we've heard you pissing and moaning about, Oh, I need to do a, I need to do a beer. And I need to stop drinking beer because I'm becoming a big old giant fucking fat ass.

And when I drink seltzer, I tend to lose weight. I just don't know what to make Look, you've talked about how you've got flavor people in your world, in your universe. If not GTF, baby, Google that shit, figure it out. I will give you the keywords. Google it. Beer flavoring. If you Google those two fucking words, you'll get five, six companies. And then, well, what should we do for flavors? I don't know what, how about you make them

non beer flavors? Your big knucklehead. How about green apple? Green apple is an off flavor in beer. How about you make a seltzer with green apple? Even better. How about you make a bear favorite? How about a candy apple? How about a caramel apple? That's right. Buttery caramel green apple. Perfect seltzer flavor. Perfect for summer. Exactly. All those kind of bad flavors that go into beer. How about you do that, you big giant clown? You big

giant clown. That would be a nice seltzer. Put it in a candy apple. Pour it over ice. You ain't Greg, big knucklehead. Fontana Gym, check it out. You big, big clown. It's Di-acetaldehyde. I fucking know. I'm the Fontana Gym. He had to call back and let us know that he could actually pronounce shit. Holy shit. By the way, did it not sound like that? Maybe Fontana Gym was a little bit from West Virginia. It got a little bit of West Virginia. Yeah. I

think he's just so loud. Yeah. I got a little bit of that in there in a couple of points. He was really getting after you. Apparently I have grinded his gears. I have not done the whole brewing a seltzer. Like I said, I might, first of all, I said, I might Fontana Gym not wood. Yeah. You big clown. Yeah. You knucklehead. Here's the thing. Green apple sounds fucking horrible. It's the worst flavor in the world. It sounds like the only flavor

I would never drink. It's the first vodka flavor I ever threw up on. That's a lie, but it's the vodka flavor I threw up the most on. That tracks. Yeah. That sounds horrible. I do not want green apple seltzer. No. Caramel apple seltzer. Better. Better caramel apple beer. It was delicious. Oh, okay. Did you have caramel apple or apple Bud Light seltzer in there when you lost? Oh no. I think it was just apple. Oh okay. Apple, pumpkin, marshmallow

and pear. Wow. You took your magic mind today. I think that's what they were. Wow. Yeah. When you lost and Mel sent you the world's worst fucking package of alcohol. Pl aid cans. Oh, it's garbage. Um, yeah. You know, uh, Fontana Gym, how about you come back with some good flavors? How about that? You knucklehead. Nobody wants a green apple seltzer. Yeah. Wow. What's your favorite Jolly Rancher flavor? Mine was watermelon. Cherry. Cherry. I should

do either. This is like before the blue raspberry shit too. Like what were the originals? It was lemon, green apple, cherry, watermelon and grape. That's all I know. I don 't eat that shit anymore. I don't know the new fancy flavors. So to me, watermelon is the, the creme de la creme. The cherry was just, it was like sweet and tart as a candy. It was perfect. Maybe I should do one of those. Well, I already have a cherry seltzer. Maybe I should

do a watermelon. Oh my God. Have you had the high noon watermelons? I think I

talked about it on the show. They're terrible. Oh, fucking garbage. Yeah. Had one at a pool party last year. Yeah. Oh, my sister had some, she clearly listens to church like, Hey, you want to high noon and hands me a watermelon. You know, she didn't go fuck yourself. Yeah, exactly. She's not dumb ass. I'm sorry. She's maybe, maybe a big clown or knucklehead or knucklehead. Yeah. I appreciate it. Such a great job at keeping things PG. It's true. Yeah.

You could call me a fucking idiot or something like that, but instead it was knucklehead. Brilliant. Yeah. Very, very good there. I don't five. Respectful man. What a respectful angry asshole. 8 0 5 5 3 beer. That's 2 3 3 7. Thank you. Fontana gym for

calling me out. Uh, one of these, I got to talk to Nick formerly of from current and now works for the flavor company and uh, yeah, I'm ready. So I got to get some, maybe I could be the one that makes a good watermelon. Maybe that'll be my claim to fame. Good watermelon seltzer. Oh yeah. At that point I guess Nick would really deserve the credit. Not me to be continued. Well, the, the company, well the guy I'm already would deserve the credit. So yeah. Anywho,

well now I'm interested in what you're going to do. Maybe I will do something. I haven't brewed anything forever. Why not? Why not fucking do a seltzer? What the hell? I should research that. I got an empty, I got two empty keg spots on my kegerator. It's a problem. It is put something in those like a seltzer, like a goddamn seltzer. Put a red nose on the keg tab. A red nose. Yeah. So you remind yourself, uh, you're a big fucking clown.

Not a big fist to remind me of a knucklehead. I like it. All right. Little Chris libation law. This one comes from Wyoming. No junk dealer may do business with a drunk

person. No what? Junk dealer. Is that a normal thing in Wyoming? I did not know that was an occupation, but apparently in Wyoming it is. If you're going to deal some junk, what'd you go to school for? Junk dealer. You junk dealing son of a bitch. Imagine getting home from a long weeks of work and your wife's like, Oh, what's wrong, honey? Oh, just dealt so

much junk this week. I don't know if I could deal any more junk or you go to the doctor's office and there was for whatever reason the doctor always asked your occupation when you're filling out your forms, you know, an age high occupation, junk dealer, junk dealer in Wyoming. It's just the boxer junk dealer or other. It's like the most popular occupation . Junk dealer, rancher, other. It's all they got. Unreal. Yeah. So don't be drinking if you're

going to do some junk deal. Maybe they just did that so they could come up with like a, there's gotta be a fun rhyme for that. Like if you're junking, you better not

be drunken or something. Don't be drunk when you deal the junk. That's brilliant. Yeah.

Clearly a poet, a moron. And I couldn't think of something so simple. Oh, I got your back. It's what a good cohost does. Yeah. Uh, let's do a little news before we get up out of here. You know, a few weeks ago we were talking about how hop acreage has declined right in

recent years. Well, the 2023 global hop production is up 11 and a half percent despite, well, good thing it's 2024 though. Well, you know, they don't, they're never up to date. It's always year by year. But despite the shrinkage, if you will, of acreage, there's still higher hop production. Global hop acreage declined 3.3% in 2023 versus 22 the second consecutive year of decline in a significantly sharper reduction versus the year before.

approximately 149,847 acres of hop cultivation area across the globe. Big number in 2023, a decline of 5,000 acres compared to 2022. So once again, acreage down hops up. Well, speaking of shrinkage, I did drink a beer. I drank a beer called shrinkage. Oh, and on the bottom of the can it said, uh, I was in the pool. I thought that was hilarious. That's pretty good. But that was the best part of the beer. I like that. The beer itself. Not

so great. No, it, uh, poured it out and it's, it smelled like, uh, like a lit firework. Ew. What kind of beer was it? What type? It was a cold IPA. Doesn't sound like it. It was not great. Oof. Yeah. Not what they're supposed to smell like. No, it was, it was not good. Sounds like it was like a Roush beer or something. It, it just tasted like firework. Good. Yeah, it did. Like the aroma went to the pallet a little bit. Oh, it really

tasted like that. And then you'd be like, Oh, now there's a little bit of orange and burnt orange. Yeah, it was gross. I won't name the brewery. It was a Wisconsin brewery, but that's fair. Sounds awful. All you gotta do is look up the beer shrinkage though. I like the can though. The can sounds fun. Yeah. The label, like the, the whole art could have been better on it too, but I didn't buy it. Was at a party and it was there and that's

fair. Yeah. All right. Hey, if I were to say to you, what's the number one beer

in Texas? What would you say? Shiner mock overall, not, not just craft overall beer. Oh, overall beer. Sheesh. Overall beer in Texas. I feel like this is a trick question. I mean, the answer is a beer. So it's in that way, it's not a trick question. All right. Big, it's big beer. It is big beer. It's big beer. Uh, let's go weird with like Michelob ultra. I like that you went weird. You're wrong, but I liked that you went weird. That that was better

than just saying like Budweiser or something like that. Dos Equis is the number one on premise beer in Texas tap handle on premise beer in Texas. I know. Can USA's

Dos Equis import brand is number one beer on prem with 10.2% total share and top handle in the state by dollar sales. I don't know. That's weird. Well, and I, and I actually learned something besides the fact that Texas loves shitty Mexican beers. I did not know that Dos Equis was owned by Heineken. I guess I thought they were blue Anheuser-Busch or something. I guess I didn't know. I didn't really know who owned them really. And apparently it's Heineken. So that

tracks. Yeah. Dos Equis is like my least favorite Mexican German beer. Yeah. I mean, I've said it a million times. If I'm going, you know, cheap Mexican beer, probably like

Pacifico, maybe a Modelo or definitely mode. I can't say it. Modelo, Modelo, Modelo, not Modelo. I find myself now sometimes saying because of you Modelo. I just, when I talk on this, I just, I don't want to get made fun of anymore. Sorry, bud. Oh, I can't help myself. Yeah. We'll end it with this one. A Kent state professor was arrested after an

alleged drunken 911 phone call and argument over whether she can drive drunk. Come on. A Kent state university professor was arrested after calling 911 to tell police that she was locked out of a building and had to use the restroom and later argued with officers over whether she was intox icated during an initial 911 call. Dr. Ellen Glickman director of the school of health sciences. You would think that'd be a smart person uses an expletive to tell the dispatch

She needs to get into her building later telling another dispatcher. She has to use the bathroom. She says, can you do it immediately during the call attempting to get officers on site quickly. The officer that arrived allowed Glickman into the building to use the restroom asking her to call for a ride. Glickman denied being intoxicated and insisted that she could drive her Tesla home multiple times before threatening to call the officer's captain.

I think I'm okay. I have a Tesla. Glickman said, just because you have a Tesla doesn't mean it's going to drive itself. The officer said Glickman was eventually taken into custody and charged with disorderly conduct by disorderly conduct by intoxicated. I've never even heard of that, which was later dismissed after court documents show she paid court costs and completed community service. But I love that. I have a Tesla. I'm fine. Do they not drive themselves? I mean,

that's the thing. Like I I'm with her. Like, I know that was a, when you, when she said that, the first thought that crossed my mind was, Hey, that sounded bad idea. Yeah. Like I know the whole thing is like, you, you still need to be sober in quotes when you drive your Tesla. It's like, if it drives itself, it fucking drives itself. People. Hmm. Yeah. I'm okay with it. People are afraid of self-driving cars. Oh , they hit one other car. It's like, yeah, people hit cars all the fucking time.

I am terrified about self-driving cars, but doesn't bother me. Well, you're a tech guy. Well, just the accident. I don't know. Ratio is way less than humans. You know, if you check out the stats, well, if there's statistics, you know, then that makes it okay. Right. Anyways. So, uh, it's a numbers game. It's a no survival of the numberist. Um, I hope everyone stays hydrated out there. I'm going to hit some music and say, go get drunk and driving your Teslas. And hi Vanessa. And I, Oh yeah. Hi.

I don't think we did, but we did just now. What a long night. It really has. Uh , here we go. Make sure you check us out at craft beer public. And of course at flex me a

beer underscores in between eight Oh five, five, three beer is the number to call mail@craftbeerrepublic.com. I think that's everything. Hope everyone out there staying very well hydrated. And on that note, good night, everybody.