While practicing for his upcoming debut as opera singer in the role of Papageno from Mozart's Magic flute, up and coming baritone Kenneth Rogered finds himself transported by the magical Glockenspiel to the mystical world of Isis and Osiris, caught in a conflict where both see him as the problem rather the solution and he'll eventually have to decide which world he belongs to. — "Witch World" by Andre Norton ----more---- https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/guk7k7/CMA-071.jpg Find CoverMyAssCast on T...
May 07, 2020•33 min
When low-rent Comic-Con's panel on crocheting Superhero Blankets accidentally summons an eldritch horror, the only thing standing between an Elder God invasion and the attendees cowering in the Dealers Den is a squad of Maleficent cosplayers. — "Times without Number" by John Brunner ----more---- https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/y6du3u/CMA-070.jpg Find CoverMyAssCast on Twitter, Gmail and www.covermyasscast.com.
Apr 30, 2020•35 min
As dictated by tradition every dragon must acquire his weapon in conquest, but for one young fire-lizard his knight in shining armour just doesn't seem to want to come; as the laughing stock of his peers he sets off to find his knight himself and hopefully win his blade in time for him to join the impeding dragon war. — "A Sword for a Dragon" by Christopher Rowley ----more---- https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/7z724g/CMA-069.jpg Find CoverMyAssCast on Twitter, Gmail and www.covermyasscast.com.
Apr 23, 2020•36 min
We've sadly had to cancel our live show at the Bonus Stage in Croydon, which we'd previously hinted at — so we're doing it on the INTERNET instead! Click here to tune in to the Cover My Ass Live Extravaganza: Reverse Werewolf Boyfriend Quest!
Apr 22, 2020•1 min
International woman of mystery "The Baroness", who, unlike many of her male counterparts actually maintains her secret identity and mission-ready status faces off against her longtime nemesis Blowfinger alongside her trusty but wholly impractical Afghan hounds against the backdrop of a world shrugging out of the carefree '60s and into the Welsh-Argentinan Cold War using cunning, political savoir-faire, and haute couture. — "The Baroness: The Ecstasy Connection" by Paul Kenyon ----more---- https:...
Apr 16, 2020•33 min
To combat an extragalctic threat which voraciously consumes all flesh in its path, the genetically eroded human species tries to 3D-print a new strain of super-soldiers using the only evidence still extant: the Falcon Studios back catalog of gay porn. Wildly successful, the program's results are not quite what the New Humans — nor the adversary threatening to swallow it — had in mind. — "Dark Sky Legion" by William Barton ----more---- https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/m76n3b/CMA-067.jpg Find Cover...
Apr 09, 2020•30 min
The descendants of the original Moonbase Alpha crew are tired of exploring the wondrous universe in their generational fleet. They discover a forbidden psychic time-travel technology to inhabit the bodies of past NASA personnel to prevent the centuries of wandering through space. All is not as it seems though as they end up taking over the minds of a TV crew playing the parts of Astronauts rather than actual NASA personnel! — "Space: 1999: The Psychomorph" by Michael Butterworth ----more---- htt...
Apr 02, 2020•33 min
Musical stage productions have evolved to the point where dance-fights are as deadly as real ones, and Michael Flatley XIV, down on his fortune, is lured into an anarchic production of the lost Shakespeare play "Lord Tedric" — but it was 'lost' for a reason and the aliens who buried it have no intention of letting this harmless farce reach the stage. — "Lord Tedric: Black Knight of the Iron Sphere" by E. E. "Doc" Smith & Gordon Eklund ----more---- http://covermyasscast.podbean.com/mf/web/45k...
Mar 26, 2020•30 min
Unexpectedly rising out of the murky Boston harbour, the mysterious Cube becomes a fixture of the city and freelancing exterminator Zoe [Loggist] and her trusty muskbat 161 try to claim Squatters Rights before alien relations are established, and they're willing to go to any lengths to keep the Port Authority at bay. — "In The Cube" by David Alexander Smith ----more---- http://covermyasscast.podbean.com/mf/web/ujejj8/CMA-064.jpg Find CoverMyAssCast on Twitter, Gmail and www.covermyasscast.com....
Mar 19, 2020•31 min
A casual comment from the comfortably abducted daytime TV star Romula DeDeridex gets her alien hosts delving into the netherworld of Twitch streaming; they soon mistake a notorious videogame cheater for a brilliant military strategist and kidnap them to lead their intergalactic skirmish, under the passive-aggressive guidance of his skeezy talent-agent-slash-uncle. — "The Vor Game" by Lois McMaster Bujold ----more---- http://covermyasscast.podbean.com/mf/web/5chkjy/CMA-063.jpg Find CoverMyAssCast...
Mar 12, 2020•35 min
On their 12.5th anniversary, all is not well in the Royal Bedchambers: Queen Bacheloretta is on Second Love and King Pitty is on Grindr. Foolishly trusting their inept marriage counselor to juggle the need for galactic peace while the mismatched pair of Royals desperately try to "get some while the getting's good", the galaxy slides toward disaster and war until rockstar wedding planner Susan Black is summoned from retirement to shake things up. — "Better to Ask Forgiveness" by Christopher Stash...
Mar 05, 2020•32 min
The Court Wizard has a side business selling 'used dragons', but his carefree hustling days are numbered once he accidentally fulfills a tragic Princess's prophecy and discovers Fate has not only a cruel sense of humour but also the tax department on speed-dial. — "Her Majesty's Wizard" by Christopher Stasheff ----more---- With thanks to Clickhole (of all things) for providing a prophecy generator! http://www.covermyasscast.com/mf/web/vhrqc7/CMA-061.jpg Find CoverMyAssCast on Twitter, Gmail and ...
Feb 27, 2020•29 min
The extinct planet Earth is an intergalactic LARPer's paradise. All the cool continents are already claimed, but two robots discover their tiny allotment was once the Holy Seat of a global religion. Their role-playing, philosophical and cosplaying fun takes a turn for the real when they discover the only remaining multicellular life on the planet and must decide: was the Burning Bush literal or metaphoric? — "Project Pope" by Clifford Simak ----more---- http://www.covermyasscast.com/mf/web/7r6x4...
Feb 20, 2020•30 min
The little town of Big Beaver, Pennsylvania, struggling to rebound after the closure of its electric novelty crucifix factory is beset by a swarm of turtlenecked, espresso-swilling, horn-rimmed Satanists drawn in by its Authenticity. A conflict of biblical proportions brews between the Dark Prince and their traditional nemesis: the interim chairperson of the Homeowners' Association. — "The Devil Finds Work" by Michael Delving ----more---- https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/iptmr6/CMA-059.jpg Find C...
Feb 13, 2020•34 min
You’ve enjoyed the noir classics The Big Heat and The Big Sleep; now try… The Big Eye! "My partner Denton Wrinklesuit just ain’t cut out to be a private eye. Always trippin’ on sidewalks, takin’ his dates and their perky nipples down with him. Well, buddy, try doin’ a stakeout as a very public eye like me. It’s goin’ real great — I’m sure nobody’s noticed me up here, just like I didn’t notice that goddamn skyscraper that just socked me right in the cornea. These people. Maybe if I had a jaunty b...
Feb 06, 2020•34 min
Objection! Daytime TV star Romula DeDeridex is mistaken for the galaxy's brightest adjudicator and kidnapped to mediate between two galactic empires — literally cats and dogs! — vying for custody of their recently-discovered ancestral homeworld. With the threat of war looming overhead, Romula must come to grips with the complexities and seductions of... Space Court! — "Between Darkness and Light" by Lisanne Norman ----more---- K coins a phrase. Khaki keeps an open mind. https://mcdn.podbean.com/...
Jan 30, 2020•32 min
The wise intergalactic mediator Ming the Motiveless struggles to maintain democracy and peace among the stars when the charismatic Yale poloist Flash "Yeet" Gordon sets out in his rocket-ship Manifest Destiny to colonize uncivilized space by spreading the gospel of neo-lib capitalism and training malcontents in guerilla tactics to install regimes friendly to Flash's imperialist interests. — "Black Star Chronicles" by DJ Arneson & Tony Tallarico ----more---- K is into loot boxes. Khaki is jus...
Jan 23, 2020•31 min
Since the discovery that drinking dissolved unicorns enhances magical ability these glorious creatures have been poached to the brink of extinction, depleting the world's ambient levels of magic and exacerbating the demand — only our young, responsible heroes stand in the way of thaumaturgical disaster! — "The Unicorn Solution" by John Lee ----more---- K has tips for ebook readers. Khaki says "monocerops" and doesn't pay enough of a price. With thanks to Friend-of-the-library Ryan Campbell who w...
Jan 16, 2020•32 min
In a society where the quaint custom of 'Stealing the Bride' is taken very seriously, Susan Black's career as a wedding planner is about to make a meteoric rise when she lands the contract for the crown prince's upcoming nuptials, which take on the scope of a land war in Asia or invading Russia in winter. — "Rules of Engagement" by Elizabeth Moon ----more---- K 'doubts continue to gnaw at him. Khaki recites his favorite German idiom. http://covermyasscast.podbean.com/mf/web/4sh8sp/CMA-054.jpg Fi...
Jan 09, 2020•6 min
A bumblebrained young blunder-dunce is mistaken for an eccentric prodigy and tasked with creating wondrous new technologies to safely exploit the Arctic mineral resources. Together with his well-meaning but equally incompetent friends, Tom Swift nobly strives and disastrously fails to live up to his parents' rose-tinted expectations, to the ruin of all who believed in him. — "Tom Swift and his Atomic Earth Blaster" by Victor Appleton II ----more---- K 's patience wins out over his suspicion. Kha...
Jan 02, 2020•36 min
The dimension-hopping gigglewitch Anne McCaffrey teleports into a sleepy town in medieval France to delight the townsfolk's upper crust with a sumptuous dinner spread — but when one of the guests is murdered Mrs. McCaffrey must use all her magical cooking skills uncover the truth and find the proof in the pudding. — Serve It Forth: Cooking with Anne McCaffrey" by Anne McCaffrey with John Gregory Betancourt K grins and bears his good friend's cooking. Khaki edits the fuck out of this episode. Cov...
Dec 26, 2019•43 min
This week, in "Time Ninja", by Andy Schoepp: The T.E.R.F. have surprisingly succeeded in their quest to eliminate letters from the LGB Trigrammaton, and the cool 23rd-century multiqueers of Earth and Space conspire to build and train the Ultimate Time Ninja to send them back to protect the Polygrammaton of LGBTQIAIAO+ of the 21st century and expand the Galaxy's future rather than limiting it. K knows a lot about Japan. Khaki is gets a workout. Find CoverMyAssCast on Twitter, Gmail and www.coverm...
Dec 19, 2019•31 min
PARENTAL GUIDANCE:As this is the first non-explicit episode of Cover My Ass, we advise our readers-at-home to listen to it in private. With headphones. This week, in "The Price of Temptation", by M. J. Pearson: A Very Special Friendship blossoms between two young men from different worlds: one a dashing rooster-tamer whose wild independence threatens his inheritance of his mother's nut-butter fortune, and the other a simple butter-churner from a low-born family of pipe-cleaners who dreams of bec...
Dec 12, 2019•26 min
This week, in "The Gods Hate Kansas", by Joseph Millard: After a hapless astronaut from Kansas commits an intergalactic faux-pas, the offended alien race brings down the wrath of their elder gods that make earth's great old ones pale by comparison. K watches Icarus take flight. Khaki is, you guessed it, a dog-person. Cover art: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/fv4rdn/CMA-049.jpg Find CoverMyAssCast on Twitter, Gmail and www.covermyasscast.com.
Dec 05, 2019•35 min
This week, in "An Accidental Goddess", by Linnea Sinclair: Charged with preserving an unreasonably complicated timeline, an ex-yuppy's son seeks to protect and promote a rising Instagram influencer to help her cross the mythical 1-billion-follower event horizon so she may ascend into Cybergodhood. K is protective of his library's book cases. Khaki unveils his latest creation. Cover art: http://covermyasscast.podbean.com/mf/web/mm4w9g/CMA-048.jpg Find CoverMyAssCast on Twitter, Gmail and www.cove...
Nov 28, 2019•39 min
This week, in "MagicNet", by John DeChancie: In 1984 a dashing yuppy has bought the first Macintosh computer and is shanghaied into the Desktop Wars against ancient digital evil by a Cybergoddess from the future who's literally hell-bent on bringing forth the Great Virtualisation. K has an unusual name and a very special modem. Khaki has lost track of the velibraraptors. Cover art: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/ts8vts/CMA-047.jpg Find CoverMyAssCast on Twitter, Gmail and www.covermyasscast.com...
Nov 21, 2019•33 min
This week, in "Challengers of the Unknown", by Ron Goulart: The down-on-their-luck cast of a supernatural Reality TV show in the doldrums of syndication finally encounter a true mystery in the swamps of Florida and struggle against plummeting ratings and their own inadequacies to face... Reality?! K has ideas about ducks and raccoon evolution. Khaki's opinion is as good as his ignorance. Cover art: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/8fc9ya/CMA-046.jpg Find CoverMyAssCast on Twitter, Gmail and www.c...
Nov 14, 2019•33 min
This week, in "Illusione di Potere", by Philip K Dick: Richard just wants a few days off of his demeaning job as jumpsuit model, so he builds a robot out of old movie studio props to fill in for him.But soon he finds his life spinning out of control as everyone--his boss, his wife, his parents--all think the android is the real thing! Now he has to find a way to outwit his own creation before it takes over his entire life forever.Step one: get the robot addicted to prescription pharmaceuticals. ...
Nov 07, 2019•37 min
This week, in "Der Grosse Fetisch", by L. Sprague de Camp: Having stolen Water from the Gods in the mythical Vase of Deference, a young sandsurfer is pursued by merciless Divine Guardians hell-bent on keeping primitive humankind innocent of water... sports. K inspects the Medicine Lodge. Khaki recites his favorite prayer. Cover art: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/uwsmmb/CMA-044.jpg Find CoverMyAssCast on Twitter, Gmail and www.covermyasscast.com.
Oct 31, 2019•36 min
This week, in "George Washington's Socks", by Elvira Woodruff: For their graduation pranks, the Scouts of Alpha Centauri Troupe travel back in time to steal George Washington's dentures — but discover the Founding Father has a full set of pearly-whites and, undeterred, become part of history itself. K corrects Khaki's time-travel grammar. Khaki has had it up to here with these bears. Find CoverMyAssCast on Twitter, Gmail and www.covermyasscast.com.
Oct 24, 2019•30 min
