TRUMP EXPLICITLY THREATENS FREEDOM OF THE PRESS - 10.11.24 - podcast episode cover

TRUMP EXPLICITLY THREATENS FREEDOM OF THE PRESS - 10.11.24

Oct 11, 202447 minSeason 3Ep. 47
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SERIES 3 EPISODE 47: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump has now finally OVERTLY threatened to shut down the free press in the country, then repeated that threat in a speech at Detroit, and then descended IN that speech to meandering gibberish, the kind of incoherence that would get you institutionalized whether you were 28 or 78 – like him. “A FAKE NEWS SCAM, which is totally illegal. TAKE AWAY THE CBS LICENSE.” Once again, he MEANS this. The intent is to punish, bankrupt, prosecute, anybody who criticizes him – that includes CBS, that includes me, and like all totalitarians and dictators that threat to destroy critics will soon or late include YOU.

But there is within the threat something almost as frightening. CBS does not HAVE a license. News organizations do not HAVE licenses. Individual over-the-air tv and radio stations HAVE licenses, but if he really managed to take their licenses CBS Television would still exist. So would 60 Minutes. He does not understand this. He is wrong about it. And as we have seen for a decade, when he is wrong, there is only one way out: what he is wrong about, must be CHANGED, so he’s RIGHT about it. What Trump is saying is: if he regains power there WILL BE LICENSES for news organizations, and the constitution be damned.

Trump also descended into ugly bodily noises and the intellectual skill of a Roomba. And to prove he really was Michigan's Man Of The Year in 2004 he finally produced a newspaper article - from 2023. About 2013. Which was immediately corrected to confirm he'd never been given such an award.

A NOTE ABOUT POLLS: If you're panicking, that's part of the plan. There really has been almost no movement in any of the polling averages in three months, and some of the outliers are beyond dubious. The TIPP Pennsylvania poll showing Trump ahead by a point-and-a-half among "likely voters" hides the fact that the data among "registered voters" is Harris by five! How did they doctor that? They cut out almost all the voters from Philadelphia.

B-Block (23:08) A LITTLE INSIDE BASEBALL: What happens when one of our celebrity announcers hears the "Toccata" theme from "Worst Persons" at a New York Yankees Playoff game? (27:23) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Should the part of a radio broadcast where the baseball relief pitcher comes in by sponsored by an anti-choking suction device? Kari Lake has a rough night with initials and genders. And The New York Times is right back to cowering before Trump. He talks eugenics and purging migrants; they talk "fascination with genes."

C-Block (38:00) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: If you ever thought the impossible stupidity began recently - how could people that dumb afford to travel that far - you're wrong. Thurber's 1937 story tells of an American traveler he met in England who was deeply offended when forced to read Macbeth because she was convinced Shakespeare had incorrectly identified the murderer, in "The Macbeth Murder Mystery."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Trump has now finally, inevitably, inescapably, and overtly threatened to shut down the free press in this country. Repeated that threat in a speech at Detroit and then descended in the same speech to meandering gibberish, the kind of incoherence that would get you institutionalized, whether you were twenty eight or

like him, seventy eight. First, the threat to news. Sixty minutes is a major part of the news organization of CBS, which has just created the greatest fraud in broadcast history. CBS should lose its license, and it should be bid out to the highest bidder, as should all other broadcast licenses, because they are just as corrupt as CBS, and maybe even worse. Another Trump post reads a fake news scam which is totally illegal, take away the CBS license. Once again,

he means this. The intent is to punish, to bankrupt, to prosecute anybody who criticizes him. That includes CBS, That includes me, and like all ttalitarians and dictators, that threat to destroy critics will soon or late include you. He wants to punish sixty minutes on CBS because he did an interview with Kamala Harris, even after he chickened out of the interview with them to which he had agreed

in his mindless rage. Trump believes his cowardice and his dishonesty is not the problem, but that CBS underscoring his cowardice and his dishonesty is the problem. But there is within this threat something almost disfrightening. As I've mentioned before, CBS does not have a license. News organizations do not have licenses. Individual over the air TV and radio stations

have licenses. But if he somehow really managed to take their licenses, CBS Television would still exist, so would sixty Minutes, so would CBS News. He does not understand this. He is wrong about it, and as we have seen for a decade, when he is wrong, there is only one way out. What he is wrong about must be changed

so that he is right about it. After all, what Trump is saying, one way or the other is if he regains power, there will be licenses for news organizations, and the constitution be damned.

Speaker 2

The other big news is the fraud committed by sixty Minutes in CBS together with the Democrat Party working together with them which will go down as the single biggest scandal in broadcast history. I predict it's a big story. I don't know if you've seen it yet. Happened. They learned about it yesterday evening.

Speaker 1

Trump's speech to the Economic Club of Detroit. And how stupid are these people that they don't know that there are no news licenses. The speech did not stop there before he again tried to bribe voters with something preposterous and financially disastrous, in this case making all automobile loan

payments fully tax deductible. He raged over Monday's peace in The New York Times that tiptoed around his metal condition and cited his continuing obsession with a nonexistent Michigan Man of the Year award as some of the evidence of his cognitive decline. Trump, in the speech said his staff had finally found the proof that he was right. He pulled from his pocket a computer print out of an article from a small Michigan paper, The Press quote. It was like nineteen years ago. It was a long time,

but I was honored. And guess what they found it? I was so, here's your article right here. Oakland County gop to honor Donald Trump, former president, to speak at upcoming Lincoln Day fundraising dinner former president from nineteen years ago. The article is from June of twenty twenty three. It references a local dinner from two thousand and thirteen. Trump says it proves he was Michigan's Man of the Year in two thousand and five or two thousand and four.

Trump has the year wrong, the decade wrong, the award wrong, and the geography wrong. He was very happy about this. He is very, very sick. What's worse, the paper has now deleted and corrected its account at that dinner in twenty thirteen that they wrote about. In twenty twenty three, there was no Man of the Year award, not even just Man of the Year in Oakland County. Trump literally does not remember what he got wrong then or what he is getting wrong now. And this was before his

speech descended into madness. Trump has taken to calling his inability to focus on any one, two or twenty topics at a time weaving, and there is some evidence that he often hears the connections others don't, as his mind wanders around like a roomba. Yesterday in Detroit, though there seemed a new suggestion that even he no longer knows what he is talking about or what he has been

trying to talk about. This seemed to have started with factory closings, god knows where it ends, the very big plant.

Speaker 2

Many countries they do that, and then all of a sudden you hear that they're leaving Milwaukee, or they're leaving wherever they may be located. It's very sad to see it. And it's so simple. I mean, you know, this isn't like Elon with his rocket ships that land within twelve inches on the moon where they wanted to land, or he gets the engines back. How was the first I realized? I said, who the hell did that? I saw engines

about three or four years ago. These things were coming cylinders, no wings, know nothing, and they're coming down very slowly, landing on a raft in the middle of the ocean someplace with a circle boom. Reminded me of the Biden circles that he used to have. Right, he'd have eight circles and he couldn't fill them up. But then I heard he beat us with the popular vote. I don't know, I don't know, couldn't fill up the eight circles. I always loved those because they were so beautiful. They were

so beautiful to look at. In fact, the person that did them, that was the best thing about his The level of that circle was great. But they couldn't get people, so they used to have the press stand at the circles because they couldn't get the people. Then I heard we lost. Oh we lost. No, We're never going to let that happen again. But we've been abused by other countries. We've been abused by our own politicians really more than other countries.

Speaker 1

As Dan Ackroyd said while portraying the chef Julia Child on Saturday Night Live years ago, as she lost consciousness due to a cut while preparing a chicken save the liver, I remember when I was a little girl and worse was yet to come. As an aside, this actually might have been the highlight of Trump's speech.

Speaker 2

Is a catastrophe for the American dream and the dire crisis from commerce to labor.

Speaker 1

There are no words, yet Trump still said them again bluntly, nothing President Biden has ever said, not in the worst moments of the debate, approached that this is how you sound. As the anesthesia begins to take effect or the dementia or the drugs, or the booze or the stroke, that this ever more rapid loss of coherence is not getting the publicity it should, nor that the one to one hundredth as disturbing hesitations of President Biden did is the

crisis of this campaign. Trump is going crazy before the media's eyes, and the media is virtually ignoring it. And the combination of the media cowering and Trump's inability to function rationally, and his rage at anybody criticizing him, especially about his inability to function rationally, that can be fatal

to this country. Just yesterday, the Washington Post scooped that early this year, on a strategy conference call, a Trump aide named James Blair was asked how to fight back against news stories that said the campaigns get out the vote effort was insufficient. Blair was quoted by The Washington Post as replying, we are going to beat the reporters into retardation, unquote. The real problem is that there remains the possibility that Trump will not remember the CBS license

idiocy after whatever next enrages him does enrage him. The real problem is that this goon Blair might have merely been being metaphorical on that call. The real problem is that prospective Trump Attorney General Mike Davis might be, as he claims, just trolling Democrats when he explains he wants to imprison reporters at Guantanamo Bay or in a gulag somewhere. That could all be true, but the real problem is the Trump cultists who hear these threats do not take

them metaphorically. Politico's Adam Wrenn profiled this Mike Davis and his quote trolling unquote. Wren Now writes that at the Republican Nazi Convention this summer, he was permitted by Davis to shadow him. They went to a hotel bar where Trump's idiot sons and hangers on were waiting to laud Davis. He writes, quote, as I pecked notes on my phone, a woman who had told us to stop staring, scolded

me for chronicling the exchange and began recording me. She demanded that I delete the notes or give her my phone. When I tried to leave, she recruited four men to block the elevators. They stared menacingly at me and demanded I turn over my phone or delete my notes. I was trapped. I wouldn't delete my notes, and I was getting nervous. I called Mike Davis, who had disappeared. He asked me where I was, and I told him. I explained to the woman I had to catch a flight

to go home to my family in the next few hours. Quote. You should have thought about your kids before you did what you did, she replied. After roughly fifteen minutes of this standoff, he writes, I searched for another exit. I ran down a hallway into a stairwell. Two people followed me. When I was out on the street, Davis called me. By this point, Davis had confronted the aid near the elevators and dressed her down. You don't ask a reporter

to delete their notes, he told her. According to both Davis and a second person, he recounted his remarks too briefly after this isn't North Korea unquote, this isn't North Korea, not yet. And that it is not North Korea not yet, is not Trump's doing. And there is the flip side

of the same thing. Threatening licenses, threatening networks, threatening journalism, threatening the First Amendment, threatening reporters again, and again and day after day, makes them censor themselves in advance, makes them cooperate in advance, makes them weary of just the thought of the confrontation. And it is measurable. There are metrics. Media Matters analyzed. Coverage in the LA Times, The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and The Washington Post.

How many stories were written in the week after Judge Chutkin unsealed Jack Smith's filing in the Trump cou case the week that ended on Wednesday, twenty six stories in

those five major papers. How many stories were written in the same five newspapers in the week after the James Comey letter eight years ago this month about Hillary Clinton's emails one hundred, one hundred email stories, twenty six Jack Smith filing stories, literally four times as much coverage in some of the supposedly liberal newspapers of this country, but

her emails ominously. Judge Chutkin now says she will release Smith's second filing the supporting evidence for his first filing, delaying it for a week to give Trump a chance to investigate litigation to stop it. When she releases the evidence, Let's see if those five newspapers give this the same one quarter of the coverage because the phrase but her emails is now paired in reporters and editors minds with

the phrase but trumpists will threaten me. A quick pulling roundup two fascinating interior numbers from the IPSOS poll for Reuter's gr reverses Trump's leads in suburbs and among middle class voters. Reuter's IPSOS polls show I'm indebted to my former colleague Carl Kintonia for doing this exclusive Harris up forty seven to forty one among suburban voters, nine points

better than Biden. Harris up forty five forty three in households earning fifty thousand to one hundred thousand dollars per year, also nine points better than Biden. Now the other stuff I have mentioned before, you should expect down the stretch a flood of bad, cooked pro Trump polls. They not only are there to screw up the polling averages, but the more outlandish ones like Trump plus two by active vote,

like Trump in Rasmussen up way over Biden. They are there to serve as props if Trump loses and when he tries to foment violence and he pulls another article from his pot as he did in Michigan yesterday and screams, but I was winning in all the polls. The other purpose is to screw with the heads of Democrats. It's working. Social media is a wash with Trump is gaining. What are we gonna do? The five thirty eight polling average is Harris forty eight point four, Trump forty six point zero.

That is Harris by two point four points. On the twenty fifth of last month, it was Harris by two point six points. On August eleventh, it was Harris by two point three points. The polling average at the split ticket website is Harris by two point seven points. On the eighth of September, it had been Harris by two point six Getting the point here, she's ahead by a little, she's ahead by a little. Wess, she's ahead by a little more. She needs to be head by even more.

This was true the day she took over the ticket, and it was true most of the day since it's around two and a half. And yes, there are even some badly done or less sympathetically perhaps even deliberately badly done poles being mixed in there now, even by reputable outlets. Perhaps the most panic in the past week was after a Tip poll for American Greatness. They've done pretty good work nationally, but they did for Pennsylvania a poll that showed Harris trailing Trump by a point and a half

among likely voters. As professor Aaron astor If Maryville College noted and several polling experts agreed, going diving into the cross tabs is rarely anything more than the equivalent of sticking your finger down your throat or emulating the Trumpists

looking for an excuse. But it turns out that in the cross tabs for the Tip Pennsylvania pole, there is one genuinely shocking bit of pulling malpractice in the same pole in the same state in which Tip concludes Trump leads Harris by a point and a half among likely voters, their data shows him trailing her Kamala Harris ahead by four points in Pennsylvania among registered voters. Do you know what you have to do to make your own poll

swing five and a half points towards Donald Trump? You'd have to like eliminate virtually all voters from Philadelphia from your likely voter Pennsylvania sample, which is exactly what Tip did.

The crosstabs show this. There were one hundred and thirty four voters from Philadelphia among tips registered voters for Pennsylvania when they refined this and sorted them out into likely voters and not likely voters and the weighted averages here in the non weighted averages there, I went from one hundred and thirty four voters in Philadelphia in the registered voters count that had Harris ahead by four to twelve voters from Philadelphia in the likely voters poll that has

Trump ahead by a point and a half. That's a lot. That's eliminating nine tenths of the voters from the biggest democratic city in the state and one of the biggest democratic cities in the country. So so much for the tip pole of Pennsylvania. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say they may have made that one to be stuffed into Trump's jacket pocket. On that one,

at least take a deep breath. Quick correction here. I mentioned yesterday that the grandfather of Looney Tunes, Florida congress woman an ex Maxim model Anna Paulina Luna real name Anna Meyerhoffer, was drafted into the Nazi Worldorld War two Air Force. The Wehrmacht. I want to apologize to Congresswoman Luna for my appalling mistake. Her grandfather was not drafted in the Nazi air Force. Nazi air Force was the Luftwaffa. Her grandfather was drafted into the Nazi military, the Wehrmacht.

So I apologize. Congresswoman Luna's grandfather was not a Nazi flyer. He was just a Nazi soldier. Also of interest here, Carrie Lake thinks nephews are girls, and says so at her debate. And she thinks that the miracle that parents turned to to help bring them to life is called UVF the Ulster Volunteer Army. I guess or did she

mean UVA at the University of Virginia. If you're going to take somebody from Tell Division and run them for senator, never ever ever make it the ex weekend weather person. That's next. This is countdown. This is countdown with Keith Olberman. Let me peel back the curtain for a second. I don't think the man whose voice you just heard there, the Hall of Famer Larry David, will object to this. But twice in the last two weeks he and I

have corresponded by email about this music. It is the Chakata and Fugue by Bach, and to Larry's great surprise, And Larry has been a supporter and friend of mine for almost twenty years now, and I have appreciated every moment of his support, every moment of his friendship. And I might add, if you ever get a chance to actually sit down with him, he is the most delightful audience you will ever meet. He will laugh at almost anything that is slightly funny, as the great humorists tend

to be. He's an easy laugh. Having put that aside, Larry emailed me with some urgency and astonishment because watching a New York Yankees playoff game on TV, he heard this playing at a critical moment, the Bach Takata and Fugue playing in a critical moment at Yankee Stadium during a ballgame, and he wanted to know if indeed his ears were playing tricks on him, if the Yankee Keys were suddenly playing the music the organ music from my podcast. I am delighted that it has now taken on that name.

I think the composer Bach had something to do with it much earlier. And now we push the curtain back with thanks to Larry for bringing that up. Jim Boughton, my late friend, who wrote Ball for the best baseball book ever written, said that after a few years his youngest child, few years of going to baseball games, heard the national anthem played at a parade or a rodeo or something like that, and said, Dad, they're playing the

baseball song. Wonderful still ahead of us. On this edition of Countdown, it may seem as if we just got

stupid in the last ten, fifteen, fifty years. Nah. It may seem as if only recently the stupid people somehow all gained enough money to travel somehow to the major cities of the world, where they somehow intuitively know where the most crowded spots on the most crowded sidewalks are and stand there for hours and simply stare at the tall buildings, because evidently, where they live they do not have tall buildings or buildings of any kind or sidewalks.

This idea that this is new is palpably untrue. As James Thurber will explain, all this happened no later than October two, nineteen thirty seven, when he published in The New Yorker his saga of one of these international travelers who he met in the Lake country of England, where she was complaining to him that Macbeth by Shakespeare was unbearably bad because it did not follow the rules of suspense paperbacks like in the later you know Mickey Spallaine

stories the woman who believed Shakespeare fingered the wrong murderer in Macbeth. Coming up on Fridays with Thurber First, there are still many more new idiots to talk about in the daily roundup of the miss Grants, morons and Dunning Kruger effects specimens who constitute today's weis poisons in the world. The Bronze Well, we've already invoked the Yankees, so why

not the New York Mets, specifically New York Mets Radio. Now, I'm a Mets fan and I'm delighted they beat the Phillies and will begin the National League Championship Series on Sunday, and maybe we will have a World Series in New York for the first time since twenty fifteen. I like

going to the World Series. It's fun. I'm even glad that when Mets relief pitcher Edwin roller Coaster Diaz came in in the ninth inning of the deciding game with a three run lead, and then walked the first two men that he faced and then steered out of the skin and the Mets won. I'm delighted for Mets play play man Howie Rose, who was in the press box in the first game I ever covered as a full time professional network radio reporter in New York in nineteen

seventy nine. It was the Mets and the Phillies. Just like this game I'm talking about now. Howie was at dinner with me in the press room the first time I covered a New York Knicks game at Madison Square Garden as a pro. A few months later, Howie and I go back. But as the pitcher Diaz entered the game, his appearance was somehow sponsored by an advertiser, and not only was there a radio commercial for it, but my

friend Howie Rose had to read this commercial live. The commercial, as the relief pitcher warmed up, was for a suction device that is designed to prevent you from choking. As the relief pitcher is entering the game in the final of the series deciding contest, the device to keep you from gagging. I mean right then, not in the second inning, but in the ninth inning at the moment the disaster prone relief pitcher enters the game. I mean, why not just say worried you might choke like Edwin Diaz as

we used to say in a different context. Yeah, the runner up, speaking of well, you know, getting all the oxygen cut off, there's Carrie Lake, her debate against Reuben Diego and the Arizona Senate race is over now, and frankly, so is she. If you've ever asked yourself, is this lady strung out or something? I think you now have your answer, or in this case, answers two of them.

Speaker 3

First of all, I'm astounded that he actually knows the difference between a woman and a man, because I thought there were what one hundred and forty seven different genders. I do care about women's rights. I come from a family of women, and I have a daughter of my own and many nieces and nephews. I want to make sure that UVF is protected. I have many friends who

are here, they're my friends today because of UVF. And I have many of my friends who have had children and experienced the joy of motherhood and parenthood because of UVF.

Speaker 1

To take those in reverse order, UVF Now everybody thinks she meant IVF in vitro fertilization, but of course she could have also meant UHF ultra high frequency television like Channel forty five in Phoenix. I mean Lake used to

do TV. Or maybe she meant SPF as in sunscreen, which if you've ever seen one of her interviews, when one of the six camera filters she uses has broken, it's clear she could have used more of pro tip for the Republicans, never run the weekend weather person as your candidate for anything other than maybe weekday weather person. She sounds good. She has no idea what she's say

As to the other answer about the male nieces. I don't know what to tell you, but it sure seems like that moderator's next question to Carrie Lake should have been to borrow one of the far right self martyrdom catchphrases, what is a woman nephews and nieces or women but our winner? The New York Times expect the world all the news that spit to print when they actually question Trump's mental problems Monday. We should have seen this coming

no later than Friday. Analysis in interviews, Kamala Harris continues to Bob and Weave. Her media swing showed how she often responds to uncomfortable questions by acknowledging them yet not fully answering them. In remarks about min Donald Trump invoked his long held fascination with genes and genetics. The Harris story noted that sometimes she answers questions directly, but sometimes

she doesn't. This is news because apparently The New York Times fires all its writers and headline composers and editors every year or two, so that everything that happened that also happened last year and the year before that, and the decade before that, and in fact happened in the year eighteen sixty seven, all that seems fresh and new to all the new editors and writers and headline writers. Oh golly, a politician didn't completely answer my question. That's

against the law, isn't it. Well, at least we should all mock her, but not Trump, because he does it every day, every hour, and every question. So that's not news anymore. Right, that's the way it works. If it's happened a thousand times, it's not news. If it just happened once, it's news. He's done it all already. See how this works. The headline about in remarks about migrants, Donald Trump invoked his long held fascination with genes and genetics.

Is The Times reverting to sanea washing Trump's latest madness when he said that murdering people is genetic. It's in the genes, and especially it's genetic in migrants coming to this country. And we've got a lot of bad genes in this country. And he's talking about eugenics, about ruling people out of staying here, or maybe incarcerating them or worse, based on their racial history. It's hitler. It's not fascination with genes and genetics. He is, of course criminally insane.

But The New York Times is, in fact even more criminally insane than is Trump. That headline is the equivalent of To apply it to Trump's fictional role model. In remarks about census, Hannibal Lecter invoked his long held fascination with faba beans and a nice kiante or to send it back to its source. In headlines about Trump, the New York Times invoked its long held fascination with seeing what woul happened to America if it went fascist and a dictator decided to shut down the free press and

jail everybody at the New York Times. This on the part of what is nominally the nation's leading news organization, is not just perverse and petulant and stupid and anti journalistic,

it's suicidal. Nobody's asking for The Times to openly campaign against Donald Trump, or for Kamala Harris or anybody else, but the desire to make it seem as if this manifestly insane man is just the equivalent of a pyromaniac who likes to see how well his own clothes will burn and therefore is fascinated with heating devices, is at the heart of this. Once again, I will note that the summary the best summary of where we stand with Trump, comes from a New York Times article and a quote

from the Yale historian Tim Snyder. Trump is in the classic dictatorial position. He needs to die in bed holding all executive power to stay out of prison. This means that he will do whatever he can to gain power, and once in power, will do all that he can to never let it go. This is a basic incentive structure which underlies everything else. It is entirely inconsistent with democracy.

In point of fact, what Tim Snyder said there should be The Times headline on every article it writes about Trump, or as whoever wrote that Trump invoked his long held fascination with genes and genetics headline. Trump invoked his long held fascination with serving America along with faba beans A nice canty. The New York Time. James Hitler invoked his long held fascination with significant rebuilding programs for European cities.

Two Days, Worst Persons, All Fridays with Thurber and the Works of the Master, and one I have not read to you here before, but is one of my favorites because it is well you'll hear. Fridays with Thurber and the Macbeth Murder Mystery by James Thurber. It was a stupid mistake to make, said the American woman I had

met at my hotel in the English Lake Country. But it was on the counter with the other Penguin books, the little sixpenny ones, you know, with the paper covers, and I supposed, of course, it was a detective story. All the others were detective stories. I'd read all the others, so I bought this one without really looking at it carefully. You can imagine how mad I was. When I found

it was Shakespeare, I murmured something sympathetically. I don't see why the Penguin Books people had to get out Shakespeare's plays in the same size and everything as the detective stories went on. My companion, I think they have different colored jackets. I said, well, I didn't notice that, she said. Anyway, I got real comfy in bed that night and all

ready to read a good mystery story. And here I had the Tragedy of Macbeth, a book for high school students like Ivan Hoe or Lorna Doone, I said, exactly, said the American lady, And I was just crazy for a good Agatha Christie or something. Ercule Poirot is my favorite detective. Is he the Rabbity one? I asked? Oh? No, oh, said my crime fiction expert. He's the Belgian one you're thinking of, mister Pinkerton, the one that helps Inspector Bull.

He's good too. Over her second cup of tea, my companion began to tell me the plot of a detective story that had fooled her completely. It seems it was the old family doctor all the time. But I cut in on her. Tell me, I said, did you read Macbeth. I had to read it, she said. There wasn't a scrap of anything else to read in the whole room. Did you like it, I asked, no, I did not, she said decisively in the first place. I don't think for a moment that Macbeth did it. I looked at

her blankly. Did what I asked? I don't think for a moment that he killed the king? She said. I don't think the Macbeth woman was mixed up in it either. I suspect them the most, of course, but those are the ones that are never guilty, or shouldn't be anyway. I'm afraid I began that I but don't you see, said the American lady. It would spoil everything if you could figure out right away who did it. Shakespeare was

too smart for that. I've read that people never have figured out Hamlet, so it isn't likely Shakespeare would have made Macbeth as simple as it seems. I thought this over while I filled my pipe. Who do you suspect? I asked suddenly Macduff she said promptly. Good God, I whispered softly. Oh McDuff did it all right, said the murder specialist Ercio Paro would have gotten him easily. How did you figure it out, I demanded, Well, she said

I didn't right away. At first I suspected Banquo, and then of course he was the second person and killed. That was good right in there, that part the person you suspect of the first murder should always be the second victim. Is that so, I murmured, Oh, yes, said my informant. They have to keep surprising you. Well after the second murder, I didn't know who the killer was for a while. Uh, how about Malcolm and Donald Bain, the King's sons, I asked, As I remember it, They

fled right after the first murder. That looks suspicious. Too suspicious, said the American lady. Much too suspicious. When they flee, they're never guilty. You can count on that, I believe, I said, I'll have a brandy, and I summoned the waiter. My companion leaned toward me, her eyes bright, her teacup quivering. Do you know who discovered Duncan's body? She demanded. I said, I was sorry, but I had forgotten McDuff discovers it,

she said, slipping into the historical presence. Then he comes running downstairs and shouts, confusion has broke open the Lord's anointed temple, and sacrilegious murder has made his masterpiece, and on and on like that. The good lady tapped me on the knee. All that stuff was rehearsed. She said, you wouldn't say a lot of stuff like that offhand, would you, if you'd found a body? She fixed me with a glittering eye. I began, you're right, She said,

you wouldn't unless you had practiced it in advance. My god, there's a body in here is what an innocent man would say. She sat back with a confident glare. I thought for a while, But what do you make of the third murderer?

Speaker 2

I asked.

Speaker 1

You know, the third murderer has puzzled Macbeth's scholars for three hundred years. That's because they never thought of McDuff. Said the American lady was McDuff. I'm certain you couldn't have one of the victims murdered by two ordinary thugs. The murderer always has to be somebody important. But what about the banquet scene, I asked, after a moment, how do you account for Macbeth's guilty actions there when Banquo's ghosts came in and sat in his chair. The lady

leaned forward and tapped me on the knee again. There wasn't any ghost, she said. A big strong man like that doesn't go around seeing ghosts, especially in a brightly lighted banquet hall with dozens of people around. Macbeth was shielding somebody. Who was he shielding, I asked missus Macbeth. Of course, she said. He thought she did it, and he was going to take the rap himself. The husband

always does that when the wife is suspected. But what I demanded about the sleepwalking scene, then the same thing, only the other way around, said companion. That time she was shielding him. She wasn't asleep at all. Do you remember where it says enter lady Macbeth with a taper? Yes, I said, Well, people who walk in their sleep never carry lights, said my fellow traveler. They have a second sight. Did you ever hear of a sleepwalker carrying a light? No,

I said, I never did. Well, then she wasn't asleep. She was acting guilty to shield Macbeth. I think. I said, I'll have another brandy, and I called the waiter when he brought it I drank it rapidly and rose to go. I believe, I said that you have got hold of something. Would you lend me that? Macbeth. I'd like to look it over tonight. I don't feel somehow as if I've ever really read it. I'll get it for you, she said,

but you'll find that I'm right. I read the play over carefully that night, and the next morning, after breakfast, I sought out the American woman. She was on the putting green, and I came up behind her silently and took her arm. She gave an exclamation. Could I see you alone? I asked in a low voice. She nodded cautiously and followed me to a secluded spot. You've found out something, she breathed. I've found out, I said, triumphantly, the name of the murderer. You mean it wasn't McDuff,

she said. McDuff is as innocent of those murders, I said, as Macbeth and the Macbeth woman. I opened the copy of the play which I had with me, and turned to act too scene to hear. I said, you will see where lady Macbeth says, I laid their daggers ready. He could not miss them. Had he not resembled my father as he slept, I had done it. You see, no, said the American woman bluntly. I don't. But it's simple, I exclaimed. I wonder I didn't see it years ago.

The reason Duncan resembled Lady Macbeth's father as he slept is that it actually was her father. Good God, breathed my companion softly. Lady Macbeth's father killed the king, I said, and hearing someone coming, thrust the body under the bed and crawled into the bed himself. But said the lady, you can't have a murder who only appears in the story once. You can't have that. I know that, I said, and I turned to Act two, Scene four. It says

here enter Ross with an old man. Now that old man is never identified, and it is my contention that he was old mister Macbeth, whose ambition it was to make his daughter queen. There you'll have your motive. But even then, cried the American lady, he's still a minor character, not, I said, gleefully, when you realize that he was also one of the weird sisters in disguise. You mean one of those three witches. Precisely, I said, listen to this

speech of the old man's. On Tuesday last a falcon towering in her pride of place was by a mousing owl, hawked at and killed. Who does that sound like? It sounds like the way the three witches talk, said my companion reluctantly. Precisely, I said, again, Well, said the American woman. Maybe you're right, but I'm sure I am, I said, And do you know what I'm going to do now?

Speaker 2

No?

Speaker 1

She said, what buy a copy of Hamlet? I said, and solve that. My companion's eyes brightened. Then she said, you don't think Hamlet did it? I am? I said, absolutely positive he did not. But who? She demanded, Who do you suspect? I looked at her cryptically, everybody, I said, and disappeared into a small grove of trees as silently as I had come. The Macbeth Murder Mystery by James Thurber. I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. We're now back to five episodes a week.

We post nightly just after midnight Eastern. Follow me for the podcast promo videos on TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, x, Instagram, and instacart. Oddly enough, once again there is a Monday countdown. Please send this podcast to somebody who does not know that they need to listen, but needs to listen. Brian Ray and John Phillip Shanelle, the musical directors, have Countdown, arranged, produced,

and performed most of our music. Mister Chanelle handled orchestration and keyboards, Mister Ray was on the guitars, bass and drums, and it was produced by Tko Brothers. Our satirical and fifthy musical comments are by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust. The sports music is the Olderman theme from ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN Inc. Other music arranged and performed by the group No Horns Allowed.

My announcer today was my friend Larry David. Everything else was pretty much my fault. That's countdown for today. Three weeks and four days until the twenty twenty four presidential election and the three and seventy fifth day since convicted felt dementia j Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically elected government of the United States. Use the election, use the metal health system, use presidential immunity. If we have to do it that way to keep him from doing

it again, probably so can. The next schedule Countdown is Monday bulletins as the news requires. Until then, I'm Keith Aulderman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olreman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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