DEFEATED BY KIMMEL AND AN ESCALATOR, TRUMP SHOULD RESIGN - 9.25.25

take his idiot sick ephants with him. The last ninety six hours, his un speech sounding like an escape ee from a psych ward, his tailenol news conference sounding like an escapee from a psych ward who's been living on the street for a month. His suggestion NATO country shoot down Russian jet. His sudden embrace of Zelenski either another stall or stupid dared putin Maga's rage at his sudden

embrace of Zelenski. The cover of a London right wing daily, his picture on it in seventy two point type, the word deranged. The ice shooting in Dallas, His sidistic Homeland Chief pretending the victims were agents when they were detainees, His idiots simpering Vice President pretending the victims were agents

when they were detainees. His corrupt, venal, cross eyed FBI director pretending the victims were agents when they were detainees, his Ice chief not denying he took fifty thousand dollars in a paper bag, his staff then denying the man took fifty thousand dollars in a paper bag. His cancelation of a meeting with Democrats, making certain that if there is a government shutdown, it is all his fault. His crack pot pal melay of the Sideburns, crashing the Venezuelan

economy and needing us to base ail him out. His paranoia over the stopped teleprompter at the UN that was the White House staff's fault. His paranoia over the stopped escalator at the UN that was his own vanity videographer's fault. His desire to arrest the UN escalator technician or the UN escalator button pusher, his desire to arrest the escalator and James Comy. The election of Raoul Grihalva's daughter to Congress, the fact that Adalita Grihalvo will be the last representative

needed to force a vote on releasing the Trump. Epstein files his self humiliation at the Kirk Memorial, ABC reinstating Jimmy Kimmel meaning Disney told him to f off, meaning the National Football League told him to f off, meaning they all told his propagandists it Sinclair to f off Kimmel, then shoving him in a locker using only a monologue.

Kimmel getting a record six million viewers and twenty two more million online in just the first twenty hours, Kimmel and his show getting new life and maybe a new contract. His self owning confession that he and his goons used threats to get Kimmel canceled, except they didn't get Kimmel canceled. The fact that Kimmel and ABC and Bob Iger and Disney at America told Trump to shove his threats up

his ass. And that's just since Sunday night. Resign. Take Vance with you, Take Nome with you, Take Home Man with you, Take me Lay with you. Leave the Epstein files. He lost to a escalator. Let me start with the biggest surprise of all these things. Remember the South African pastor who woke up from a dream couple weeks back and proclaimed there would be a rapture at sunset in Israel, which would have been eleven thirty six am this Tuesday.

I think there was a rapture because something sure disappeared into the sky the hours before and after that sunset. And that's something, was Trump's feeling of invulnerability. That collection of disasters that's two dozen in four days, is worse than it seems because they are all self owns, all of them mistakes, self delusions, obsessions, self indulgences, self destructions, quicksand that Trump and Trump alone could voluntarily dive into

an average of one every four hours. Kimmel looms above, around, and behind every one of them, and I'll get to him in a moment, But cause, to paraphrase the Baseball Hall of Famer and builder Rube Foster, Kimmel is the ship. All else is the sea. However, the Zelensky surprise is the most meaningful because we have yet to hear Putin's reaction, and the silence lends more credence to the theory that this is just another new, admittedly novel, way for Trump

to further stall on Putin's behalf. And even if it isn't, it still included Trump's insistence that any action taken and any money spent be taken and spent by Europe, including shooting down Russian planes or drones during incursions over Pole and Estonia, maybe Denmark, maybe Wherever's next. Nothing for us to worry about here, of course, because we have an ocean between us, and as another president wants asked rhetorically, shall we expect some transatlantic military giant to step the

ocean and crush us at a blow? Never, all the armies could not by force take a drink from the Ohio or make a track on the Blue Ridge in a trial of one thousand years. Of course, the president who said that was Lincoln said it in eighteen thirty nine, and there were no airplanes or rockets, or battleships or submarines in eighteen thirty nine. And apparently, either Trump has not yet found out that there are now airplanes and rockets and battleships and submarines, or more likely Trump still

thinks it's still eighteen thirty nine. The Grijalva election, of course, will be the most meaningful going forward, because the new representative is not only the daughter of as quiet and effective and strategic a progressive as the House has had in this century, my friend Raoul Grijalva, but she has said that the day she is sworn in by the Speaker, she will sign on to the Massy motion to force

a House vote on releasing the Epstein files. Massy has two hundred and seventeen votes right now he needs two hundred and eighteen. Atalida Grihava will be number two hundred and eighteen. And this now means that to stop the vote and stop putting his pet speaker Mike Johnson in an untenable position, Trump has only one option then, which is to force Johnson and House Republicans to actually shut

the government down. Because a government shut down delays swearing in Adalita Grihalva vote number two hundred and eighteen, and delaying swearing in Adalita Grihalva may be Trump's last way out of the Epstein files. And now to the Gettysburg Address of Late Night Comedy Monologues, The I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more of Late Night Comedy Monologue, the Ten Commandments of

Late Night Comedy Monologues. I can confess this now. I really thought even Jimmy Kimmel, who makes my Nate palming of Bridges look like nothing, was returning to save the jobs of his staff and the other two hundred people or so whose livelihoods depend on his show still existing.

I thought he would pull a lot of punches, or a couple or maybe one, or at minimum, not do a monologue so searing, so masterful, so declaring of his ownership of Trump that Jimmy had to take a commercial break in the middle of it before he even got to the part about Robert de Niro playing in perfect form a mafioso version of FCC Commissioner Brendan Carr. Well, I got that wrong. Huh If that was done without Bob Eiger's approval, I'll be just as shocked and just

as wrong. Again, he knew that was coming. Is it a compromise, Maybe, jim you say whatever you want now and we'll just shut the show down in a year. Or is it Eiger waking up to the fact that the sixteen million dollar settlement bribe with Trump bought him nothing, nothing but more trouble, nothing but more threats, nothing but more blackmail. Was it Eiger's realization that he chairs the leading entertainment company in the country and Trump's true approval

rating is down to around thirty two percent. Here and even most right wingers realized that if Trump could get Kimmel fired, President Fritzker or President AOC. We'll be able to get everybody at Fox News fired and maybe all of their podcasts canceled. What is Ted Cruz? If there is no Ted Cruz podcast, He's just an idiot asshole, Senate. Sure, it doesn't matter which it was, either way or any

other way. This is a landmark moment. This is a bullying victim coming back and hitting Scott Farcus Trump in the nuts and better than that. After Trump's long suffering, perpetual rake stepping Minion spent a week insisting Trump had nothing to do with it, and Brendan Gebbel's car had nothing to do with it, and the FCC had nothing to do with it, nothing to do with Kimmel's sidelining. Trump then boasted that he and car and the FCC

had not only done it, they thought that ABC had surrendered. Quote. I can't believe ABC, fake news gave Jimmy Kimmel his job back. The White House was told by ABC that his show was canceled. That's a confession. Something happened between then and now, because his audience is gone and his talent was never there. Well, he's wrong about that too, as the numbers will show. Why would they want someone back who does so poorly? All things considered, more people

watch Kimmel than watch Trump's inauguration this year. Why would they want something made prob not funny? Puts the network in jeopardy, but puts the network in jeopardy. What does he mean? Oh, he is yet another arm of the DNC, and the best of my knowledge, that would be a major illegal contribution, illegal campaign contribution. I think we're going to test ABC out on this. Well, there are no laws that would allow him to test this out. So

what's the plan. Let's see how we do. Last time I went after them, they gave me dollars, signed sixteen million dollars. This one sounds even more lucrative. A true bunch of losers. Let Jimmy Kimmel rot in his bad ratings. Yo, h, they didn't have bad ratings. He had four times his normal ratings. It's one thing if you bully a company into bribing you because it has business before the f

TC or FCC or any other government agency. You have perverted it into many pollot bureaus using Trump brand coercion. It's another, though, if you have convinced yourself that the bribes these other people paid to shut you up for ten minutes were in fact something you earned in some way, or something that a court awarded to you in some way. Trump should sue ABC over Kimmel, and then Kimmel should sue the FCC for tortious interference, and ABC should sue

the FCC and Sinclair and Next Star for damages. All right, they don't have to. I haven't worked in local news since nineteen ninety one, at a local station since the end of nineteen ninety one. But guess what, the local station arrangement hasn't changed all that much. Local stations that are not owned by the networks used to regularly silence network shows. The Smothers Brothers used to be preempted. The ABC evening News wasn't considered good enough for like Zanesville, Ohio,

every late night show of the sixties and seventies. At some point on February fifth, nineteen sixty nine, Channel five, the ABC station in Cleveland, allegedly bailed out of the network's new comedy show Turn On during the first commercial break. But then, and it turns out, now this comes at a price if you are an ABC affiliate and you do not run an ABC show, you have to pay a postponement fee each time you don't run it. In

Kimmel's case, that's five nights a week. And if you cancel enough network shows, ABC has the right to cancel your contract. And the next thing you know, Sinclair stations aren't running Dancing with the Stars or any sports or the twenty twenty seven Super Bowl, but non Sinclair stations in the same cities are. Oh and even before that, in the short run, if the Sinclair station will not show Kimmel long term, ABC can offer it to other stations in those markets for like two dollars an episode.

Don't bring a tweet to a businessman's fight Trump. By the way, this is how unprepared MAGA was for a full one hundred percent humiliation and extinction level loss an ass kicking like Kimmel and ABC utterly destroying Trump as

he did. The attempt to both sides this thing. Steven Miller's wife, Katie got off of her broom and screamed that the left didn't scream free speech when Tucker Carlson was canceled, so there, neglecting obviously that Carlson had a cable show, and the worst any government could ever do to a cable show as to threaten the Fox broadcast station licenses, which wouldn't have done a thing to Fox

News and very little to Rupert Murdoch. So other MAGA then moved on from Tucker Carlson a losing comp to asking why the left didn't scream free speech when Lou Dobbs was fired again Cable, no FCC jurisdiction, Plus Carlson and Dobbs were fired by Rupert Murdock entirely by surprise, entirely without government prodding or pushing or posting or podcasts in which the head of the FCC says, we can do this easy way, or we can do this the hard way. That's my impression of Ted Cruz doing an

ethnic accent. Incidentally, Lou Dobbs is dead now, and I always heard that he'd had enough event at Fox or events at Fox that they had to act that it wasn't just editorial. He had an event when I was at CNN, he had an event in Atlanta involving CNN management. The head of CNN Sports, my boss, Bill McPhail, took Dobbs's wife off long form sports anchoring after she walked off a show in the middle live when she got irretrievably lost trying to read the script and worse, read

the prompter. Dobbs allegedly then burst into Bill mcphial's office and told him to stand up and start throwing punches. Dobbs challenged him to a fistfight. Dobbs was thirty eight and Bill McPhail was sixty three. Anyway, that's the best they had, Tucker Carlson and lou Dobbs and Trump confessing to personally using the government to attack the free press

part of the First Amendment. And then, of course all of those viewers what twenty two nearly twenty three million viewers combined for Jimmy Kimmel, and now ABC is thinking maybe we want to give him a new ten year contract. Also, who was that who told you Kimmel was coming back before the end of the month, maybe before the end of the week. Okay, what before the tile and all idiocy? Trump and anybody he might have told bought advil stock.

Since that disaster, hours have been spent analyzing Trump and tailanol and internet rumors being inflated to the level of a presidential news conference, when the whole thing could have been summarized by this simple reality. Thailand All was introduced in nineteen fifty five. Autism was discovered classified defined in

nineteen forty three. Of all the stupid arguments in the world, to argue tailanol causes autism is stupider even than it would be to argue that autism caused tailandhol What's more, that news conference was not what he and pantiless Bobby

Kennedy had reportedly agreed upon. Politico has quoted a series of White House sources who said Trump overruled even the quacks that masturbating Bob relied on to go on and try to make sure that people got sick the way that Trump made sure people got sick during COVID I'll quote Politico. The initial plan was to release a literature review on the state of research into autism causes and treatment options on September twenty ninth. Thailand All is one

of thirty one hypotheses. Next, they planned an announcement that working groups would begin new studies next year. They expected initial findings from those efforts. To their frustration, Trump wanted to move forward anyway. Politico didn't say that, but of course moving forward anyway amounted to Trump just standing there yelling, don't take Dailand, all, don't take tailand all take what

I take. Paint thin A. It is, in retrospect surprising that Trump didn't declare the makers of tailanhol to be a domestic terrorist organization. He did that to Antifa, even though a there is no such organization. It's like declaring short people to be a terrorist organization, or, to be fair, declaring tall people to be a terrorist organization, or men who wear eyeliner to be a terrorist organization. The president also has new legal right or route to declare anything

a domestic terrorist organization. Congressman Dan Goldman pretty much summed this up and pretty much stuffed Trump into yet another locker. He's asking Trump, via social media, quote name one member of Antifa if it quote explicitly calls for the overthrow of the US government. Where can I find that statement? Trump, Goldman says, is trying to suppress opposition by labeling anyone who dissents as a domestic terrorist. Do not be fooled.

This is lawless and unconstitutional, and of course now Trump may yet declare building maintenance and teleprompter operations at the United Nations terrorist organizations. He posted a nice, calm one thousand word run on paragrap at sunset last night about arresting somebody for something. I mean, maybe they can charge Jim Comey with this. I think it actually improves the story to tell the conclusion first. The reality is reported by the Associated Press UN correspondent for nush Amiri quote.

A UN official said, the UN understands that someone from the President's party who ran ahead of him inadvertently triggered the stop mechanism on the escalator and just says don't run on escalators or escalator will stop. That's what happened, she continues. The official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said

the White House was operating the teleprompter for Trump. This, of course, did not stop the Trump's freak shows of paranoids, conspiracy theorists, idiots, bullshit artists, and Saint Paul beer girl press secretaries from insisting the thing with the escalator was really an assassination attempt. Caroline live it if someone at the UN intentionally stopped the escalator, as the President and First Lady we're stepping on. They need to be fire

red and investigated immediately. The Times reported this on Sunday. To mark Trump's arrival, UN staff members have joked they may turn off the escalators and elevators and simply tell him they ran out of money, so he has to walk up the stairs. Cute, Caroline, and it's nice that you recognize the word elevator or escalator in there. Except what they're saying here is that they were going to turn them all off so he'd have to walk up from the front door, which as we know, is medically impossible.

They didn't say something about stopping the escalator after he got on, but those words from Caroline Levitt. It's one of the rare times when Caroline Levitt does not look like the biggest asshole in the bunch, the guy Cernovich. What happened today at the UN was a dry run for an assassination. Our enemies were able to see the reaction or lack thereof. Trump was a sitting duck. Extreme measures will now be taken against the UN, including leaving

the UN totally. Mike Lee, Senator from the Internet. Is the UN trying to give us a hint by orchestrating escalator and teleprompter malfunctions, or is this just random coincidence. Either way, we should defund the UN. Mike also believes nobody knows he has a comb over Brendan Dilley, who's an influencer for morons. If we discover that the UN deliberately turned off the escalator and risk injuring the president

first lady, we should bomb them, all of them. Presume he means the individual nations in the UN, or or he means over there to Tutor City in Manhattan, right across the street from Trump Building. Gotta tell you, one

of the safest places in the city. When Trump finally loses it and stops starts, you know, blowing things up in the country, one of the safest places will be in the UN because it's across the street from the Trump UN Plaza, Wall Street mav which I believe is one of those India bots, or it's a guy in India who's an influencer gets paid for this. Trump's escalator stopped as soon as he stepped on it, then his teleprompter goes out right when he starts his speech. No way,

those were accidents. I'd bet UN staff, which wouldn't have jobs without our taxes, conspired to embarrass President Trump. Now why would they waste their time doing that when, as I just mentioned, Trump embarrassed himself twenty four times in ninety six hours. You do not need to embarrass Donald Trump. He is self embarrassing a muse poetic justice. Someone thought it would be funny to break the escalator as soon as Trump stepped on. Presumably the same people broke his

teleprompter just as he began his fifteen minute speech. Due to the malfunction, Trump extended his speech is speech an additional forty minutes. Those who sought to silence him were awarded with almost an hour of solid gold from the President. I hope you mean solid gold, actual gold, because there was none of it in the speech. And of course the Alexes chime in Alex bruce Witz is either in

the government or is a government adjacent guy. Someone very clearly tried to sabotage Trump at the un completely unacceptable. Someone must be held accountable. Yeah, apparently it was one

White House photographer. And whoever runs prompter Alex Jones sabotage escalator at the un HQ stops abruptly when Trump steps onto it and teleprompter malfunctions because before he begins speaking, when you read a whole bunch of conspiracy theorists and only Alex Jones sticks to the facts or close to the facts, you know we have a serious problem in

this country. And then lastly, har Meet K. Dillon, the woman from the West Coast who is I don't know, Deputy Secretary of not doing anything, simply writes deport the UN. On Fox, Jesse Waters says, quote, this is an insurrection and what we need to do is either leave the UN or we need to bomb them. There is some evidence that Waters was trying to make a joke there, but it's hard to confirm because everything that Bill O'Reilly's

former errand boy does is a joke. Besides, if that were a liberal saying something like that, even in jest, there there would be an immediate demand that the FBI or the FCC or the NCAA investigate that threat of violence, and the demand would come from Jesse Waters. So ultimately, amid all of this paranorleia, somebody has to say this, and it might as well be me, boy That escalatord quickly. Also of interest here, so The New York Post is making stuff up about me again. This is a ritual

as old as time itself. They've been doing it since the nineties. The bullshit machine is pointed at a different liberal every day of the week, or maybe every week of the year. It's my turn again. And Derek Van Orden wants to defund No, not the un the Mayo Clinic because Charlie Kirk, because Charlie Kirk is Jesus, and you don't f with the Jesus. That's next. This is countdown. This is Countdown with Keith Olberman still ahead on this

edition of Countdown. Yes, Brendan Carr of the FCC should be investigated, impeached, and if possible, prosecuted for threatening ABC, ABC News, Disney, Jimmy Kimmel, et cetera, and for whatever quid pro quo existed between him and the next star Sinclair people that he only revealed in public on a podcast.

But other than that, face it, Kimmel and ABC single handedly defeated MAGA on this one, and defeated Trump on this one, and defeated all of their angry, stupid, terrified minions, especially the ones at Fox News and the other Murdoch crap shaft, so naturally they need new targets, and I'm beginning to suspect I've seen these tea leaves before that it's my turn again to be a Murdoch target. The New York Post has invented two stories about me this

week alone. They have given somebody named Isabelle Vincent the task of calling people I used to work with to talk about me. She's recently been doing mop up operations trying to whitewash the hate speech of the late Charlie Kirk, and her bio says she began by covering Pablo Escobar

and the Medaine drug cartel. So poor Iszy must have really hit the skids if she's being forced to call people I worked with in two thousand and five, Hey, you know what, Call the people I worked with at Fox Sports in ninety nine and two thousand and two thousand and one. Call them and ask them if if Murdoch really is still resentful that he had to pay

me nine million dollars in that deal. Anyway, The Post, for that reason and many others, has been making up and distorting stuff about me since literally nineteen ninety six. I think it was when I refuted a story they made up and distorted about two hockey stars I was with the night of the sb Awards. I wasn't even mentioned. They just lied about these two guys. Eric Lindross was

one of them. Every year or so, it's somebody else from the Post writing something else that isn't true but isn't legally actionable, except for the time they literally made up an entire story about me after Tim Russert died and the Post actually ran away scared under the threat of lawsuit and published nothing. The saga of the New York Post and Rupert Murdoch making things up about me for now thirty years. Next in Things I Promised not to tell first, Believe it or not, there's still more

new idiots to talk about. The roundup of the miscreants, Morons Dunning, Kruegerfect Specimens who constitute two Day's other worst persons in the world. Theron's Jason Whitlock, who used to be a sports writer. He had his own vertical at ESPN dot com if you can believe that, and he didn't get anything published, and I mean he had months. I never got this internet. Parts of the Internet, the idea that you could have months to publish something and still not get anything done. I mean on the air.

The show starts at eight o'clock. Whether you're ready or not. Well, I'll be here in eight months. From no eight o'clock. I'm going to need eight months to prepare the show. In any event. Jason Whitlock smelled more money in fascism and got fired from ESPN and everything else in the real world, and he now writes crap like this quote. What you're witnessing is Christian nationalism. If you're ashamed of it, that's your problem, not mine. You've been brainwashed by Marxists.

They all learned a new word, Marxist. You've been brainwashed by Marxist to believe that wanting government respectful of Jesus Christ is a bad thing. I've rejected the brainwashing. This memorial is awesome a correction, Jay Dubb. It's Christo fascism, not Christian nationalism, and of course you've rejected the brainwashing. Can't be brainwashed if you have no brain left to wash. Fella. Runner up Conresson Derek Van Orden of Wisconsin. Same problem.

An HR guy who works somewhere in the vast organization that is the Mayo Clinic tweeted some of the things Charlie Kirk actually said. And then after that memorial that got Jason ol Chubby the Memorial Service and Trump Grievance show last weekend in Arizona, this guy from the Mayo Clinic, on a private account, by the way, referred to the widow as the winner of an acting award. Robbie Starbuck, one of Kirk's henchmen, then outed the man and demanded

that the Mayo Clinic fire him. Not enough for Derek Van Orton quote, we will be working to remove every single penny of federal funding from the Mayo Clinic unless this is resolved. Well, of course, if you're gonna support RFK Junior, everybody's gonna be dead anyway. Don't need any more clinics. One way to cut down on hospitalizations have everybody follow Robert F. Kennedy Junior right off the FN cliff.

We will be working and remove every single penny of federal funding from the Mayo Clinic unless this is resolved. He did not add my head hurts. My head really hurts when somebody helped me. Van Orden then went on a radio show that the Mayo Clinic was inciting violence. Derek Van Orden has so many stories, just the ones I've covered here of this severe anger management problem that I say this with actual sincerity. I don't think he can be trusted with a position of responsibility in a bakery,

let alone a government. But just as sincerely, he's got PTSD going big time, probably from his service. Maybe it's CTE. In fact, the only thing he should be doing about the Mayo Clinic is going to it. But the winner, speaking of paranoia, Christy Nome. You know her, Christy Nome is Tom fifty thousand dollars Homan's boss. Gavin Newsom's social media manager, tweeted that Christy Nome was going to have a bad day and of course apropos of the Post's

latest crap about me. This is a phrase, She's going to have a bad day. This is a phrase that MAGA and Trump and the Trumpsts get to use every damn day about every liberal and every politician. But if it's used by others about MAGA or Trump, it's a death threat. Now I agree, it's bad phrasing. There's no reason to leave the slightest impression of violence, even when it's an incorrect impression. I did that myself this week. I wasn't careful enough. You have to remember it's a

bad time for that. Plus, the great dirty secret of the right wingers is they are utter snowflakes, holy cow, and they're looking for things to make a big deal out of. They always need somebody evil on the other side. And the idea that their softest church music evidence of that. Christino her response to Fox about that tweet, the tweet that foretold she'd have a bad day, which turned out to be because they knew that Tom Holman story was about to break. Quoting her, it was cryptic and it

was really menacing. It immediately panicked my family. Unquote, well, Christy, I'm giving you this. It was cryptic, but hey, you don't have any friends. B If that's really menacing to you, you need to get to a convent or somewhere, or at least I mean, I don't know, a convent sounds like a good idea. I mean, you'd have a lot of explaining to do before they let you in the convent.

But they're forgiving people. Even if I was just thinking of the guy with the Trump campaign that she's her advisor, her confidant, You need to get into a convent because you're just not meant for this society. You never know when someone might come up to you and say you're going to have a bad day, and then you immediately go into cardiac seizure or something. But on this part

about it panicked my family and friends. Did it panic them more or less than the day at your house when you picked up a shotgun and went hunting for and then murdered your daughter's puppy, Christy. I kill innocent animals and then boast about it in my autobiography, probably in hopes of appealing to Trump and showing him I'm a sadist gnome two day's other worst person, and you the number one story on the countdown and my favorite topic,

me and things I promised not to tell. And here we go again, Rupert Murdoch's quote news outlets unquote shooting themselves in the groin yet again while they were aiming at me. A little timeline is required on this one. April eighteen sixty five, Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, was assassinated May twenty twenty, maybe earlier May twenty twenty, was the earliest I remembered or found. Trump started claiming he had been treated far worse than Abraham Lincoln had.

March sixteenth, twenty twenty four, Trump said it again. Then Biden Harris Headquarters tweets the clip, adding Trump says he's been treated worse than Abraham Lincoln, who was assassinated. Also March sixteenth, twenty twenty four, I retweeted that, adding there's

always the hope. March eighteenth, twenty twenty four, Fox News publishes a story first headlined Keith Olderman appears to hope for Trump assassination, but the headline was then changed to Keith Olderman sparks outrage by hinting at trump assassination with a blue stripe over my face, reading blue blood bath, meaning on some level, I am the same as Trump.

To the New York Post and the Fox News and all the rest of Murdoch's outlets, well, I was tempted to answer this by saying I was just referring to the auto industry. In reality, obviously I was and am hoping that Trump will be right and that he will be treated worse than Abraham Lincoln, something worse than assassination, which would be that Trump is convicted and dies in prison. I don't know how many times I have said this, maybe more than Trump's ludicrous charge that he's been treated

worse than Lincoln. I may have actually said it more than he has said that. I think I first said I hope he dies in prison. I expect he dies in prison in twenty sixteen. This is because I hope

he dies in prison. But of course the point of this is Murdoch and Fox, and especially the New York Post have been doing this to me since about nineteen ninety six, always always getting it wrong, ever since I caught the Post in a lie that year about a couple of hockey players that it claimed had been thrown out of a New York City bar for knocking over tables, to the horror of customers, when in fact I was with them, and they left the place in their own

form of horror, because as one of them, Eric Lindross, stood up, he almost knocked over the chair he was sitting in. He said to the other, John Leclair, I think I've had enough. We got to go home, Johnny, and they politely left, but not before asking if I needed a lift. In two thousand and one, The Post slammed me because I attended a New York Mets game

while wearing cargo shorts. A few years later, the Post showed a picture somebody had snapped of me leaning against one of the gates of Central Park here in New York and said I was alone and depressed. Actually, I was alone and early to my dental appointment across the street, and I was trying to talk myself into actually going

into my doctor's office. There was a brief interruption in the year during the two and a half years or so that I worked for Murdoch in Sports, a brief interruption in these constantly hilarious stories before Murdoch personally fired me after I had reported, with his office's full approval in advance that he was working behind the scenes to sell the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball team, which he was. Murdoch later boasted about firing me, but he didn't say that.

He didn't boast about it until after he had sold the LA Dodgers baseball team. The origin of the Post's quarter century of badly aimed shots at me stems from that firing. When Murdoch fired me, his minions did it slowly in stages over the course of a couple of days, in hopes that they could get me angry and bait me into attacking Fox and News Corp. In the newspapers so that then they could fire me for cause that way they wouldn't owe me the rest of the money

on my contract instead. As I've mentioned here before, given the choice between waiting eight months to insult someone and getting a lot of money, or getting no money and yelling at them right now, I'll always wait the eight months. I remained quiet for eight lovely months, and Rupert had to pay me one hundred thousand dollars a month to do that best job I ever had. So whenever this happens and somebody says, why don't you sue Murdoch, Go,

sue News Corp? Sue the New York Post, I always say, what kind of money could I get from them that could hurt them more than that eight hundred thousand dollars back in two thousand and one. Also, most of the stuff they do is so hilariously wrong, like the Worse

than Life story, that it's transparently desperate. But twice they threatened me with stories that I had to take some action about once they completely made one up, and once they ran a story even though the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security specifically asked them not to run it. The obligatory reminder before I tell you those two stories, you should never believe any source story you read in the New York Post, or indeed on any media outlet

owned by the Murdochs like Fox. They occasionally report real things, but just as often they make stuff up. Not exaggerate or get slightly wrong or twist, but utterly fabricate. On April eleventh, two thousand and five, the New York Post was to run exactly the kind of story I'm talking about, only under threat of multiple lawsuits did they actually spike it. I hadn't told this story before, but I was reminded

of it. I think going through the mechanics of it will illustrate just how evil an organization News Corp. Actually Is and more importantly, how unreliable it is as a source of news. As a New York Post page six gossip story, this one, though, had everything it attacked MSNBC, it had quotes from informed sources, and even at one points it had a witness. Now the witness disappeared during the evolution of this story, but at one point it

had a witness. It had somebody prominent insulting Peter Jennings, the newscaster, right after he had revealed he had lung cancer. And it was constructed in such a way that if I did not comment on it, they could print the story, then come back the next day, rehash it and add that I was still refusing to comment on it. But there was one overriding problem. It was a complete fabrication, and thus it was full of events that didn't happen

and people who did not exist. New York Post Page six contacted MSNBC's then media relations guy Jeremy Gaines on Thursday, April seventh, two thousand and five, with the following story. Keith Olderman, a quote frequent critic of President Bush, had refused to anchor the coverage of the death of Pope John Paul the Second, pretended to be ill and called in sick instead. There was, as I suggested earlier, a major problem here. I had anchored the coverage of the

death of Pope John Paul the Second. I had been anchoring the primetime coverage four hours each weeknight day after day leading up to the pottiffs passing. There were viewers who had seen me. There were studio staffers. Carl Bernstein was there. He was the in studio papal expert. He was on the air with me every night for like

six nights in a row. There were video tapes. Joe Tory, then the manager of the New York Yankees, called me to compliment me on my reverential coverage of the Pope's illness. That did not stop. The New York Post in the first version that page six told us it was going to print their unnamed source had been on board an Amtrak Asella train going from Washington, DC to New York, sitting near my agent as my agent talked to somebody

on a cell phone. This is apparently a very favorite construction when The New York Post wants to make up a story about somebody their witness said. My agent complained that I had had a quote meltdown after quote, calling in sick. Rather than anchoring the papal coverage, which I anchored, but there was more quote. Alderman, a frequent critic of the president's policies, said it was better in sports. They quoted my agent quoting me into the phone. I'll be

dealing with this all day now. Apart from the fact that I had anchored the coverage they said I had not anchored. There was another major flaw in this story. My agent was not on a train from Washington to New York on the day in question, or the week in question, or the month, or in fact, the year in question. My agent told me she thought she had once been on a train from Washington to New York

in the year nineteen sixty seven. My agent at that time lived a top Mount Shasta in California, and so seldom left there that when she once drove to town to get the mail, I asked her for the details of her trip because I jokingly suggested to her we should lead the newscast with it. So the next day, Friday, April eighth, two thousand and five, New York Post, page six came back with a different version of this same story. They had misheard their source. Of course, it wasn't my

agent on the train from DC to New York. It was a woman who worked for my agent, a woman named Susan. A woman named Susan whom I had they would report already phoned three times that morning, and I was to meet her urgently at the boat House in Central Park, presumably because meeting her in the middle of Penn Station when she got off that train would have been a little too public. MSNBC's Jeremy Gaines responded again with some irrefutable refutations. Nobody named Susan worked for my agent.

In fact, nobody at all worked for my agent. She was independent. She had a working relationship with a small agency in Los Angeles, and basically they covered her phone calls when she was on vacation, which she almost never was, because she never left the top of Mount effing Shasta. We called that agency and they confirmed that not only did they not have anybody working for them named Susan, but nobody from that agency was even on the East

Coast or had been so far that entire year. At this point I called the television columnist of The New York Post and off the record, explained to him that I was kind of furious, and this time I was actually going to sue, but that NBC was far angrier than I was, and that they were going to sue as well, and sue the editor of Page six personally, I calmly went through the facts of this. This guy, the TV guy, had a conscience, he sighed. He said he got those kind of calls more often than I

would believe. And I said, no, I believe it. And he said he would go to the editor of page six and explain somebody was lying to him, the editor, and he was going to get himself sued into bankruptcy over a really obviously untrue and completely disproved story. Okay, So now a couple hours later, New York Post Page six calls again demanding a comment from me on the third different version of their exhaustive papals scoop. No, the woman their witness heard, who they first said was my agent,

then said she had gotten it wrong. It was a woman named Susan who worked for my agent. She had now become a woman who worked for my agent, whose name the witness never heard, but she was talking to somebody else named Susan. And there was an additional quote now thrown in, I'll be dealing this all day now, had morphed into I'll be dealing with this all day now. The same week Peter Jennings makes his announcement about having

lung cancer. This idiot, a frequent critic of President Bush is sitting around in his pajamas calling me about this. I'll spare you how I know this was not true. It has something to do with the fact that I

don't wear pajamas. Years later, a former gossip reporter in Murdoch's employ explained to me that his celebrity and gossip people are taught never to back down from a confrontation, and that if the subject of one of their hit jobs fires back or tries to refute, or especially threatens legal action, to keep making story worse and worse for them. And in the first decade of this century, anyway, you were supposed to try to work in a defense of George W. Bush. But there's also what she said, they

called an emergency exit. If there is no question that the story is nonsensical, if the basic spine of the story does not line up with provable facts, just abandon it. Abandon it. Don't tell the subject of your attack that you are abandoning it. Just don't make any more phone calls, don't send any more emails about it. Just vanish, just disappear the story, and then send the name of the

subject of the story that you've just punted. Send it around to all the other Murdoch operations to see if they can come up with any dirt on the subject, to punish them for fighting back against Rupert Murdoch's lies. So they abandoned the story, and it took the New York Post a year and ahe half to get me back, and to get back the Department of Homeland Security and the FBI. On September twenty sixth, two thousand and six, I opened an envelope bearing a California postmark at my

home in New York. I shouldn't have done it, but bluntly, I'll confess to this. I thought it was some baseball cards I had bought off eBay. Well it wasn't. The envelope contained a sticky substance looked like draino mixed with talcum powder, and it fell out, and accompanying notes said it was anthrax. Now I and other liberals would get

a taste of our own medicine. Even reading those chilling words and having covered the actual anthrax letters terrorist attacks of two thousand and one when I was with CNN, I knew it was an anthrax. The guy who supposedly sent the actual anthrax in two thousand and one. Was an expert in the field, and even he masshandled the stuff so badly that supposed he gave himself anthrax and died of it. On the other hand, I know the

odds were impossible, but what if I was wrong. My apartment building was filled with little old ladies who had lived there since Roosevelt was president. I only assumed that meant Franklin, not Theodore. The odds were I don't know one in a billion that it was anthrax. But who was I to dismiss this one in a billion chance that these little old ladies were going to get anthrax? Who was I to make that call? So instead I made a call. I called the FBI. Well, it was

quite an evening. The cops showed up. The FBI showed up. They said, of course it's not anthrax, but we have to act like it is. Welcome to our new world. The hasmat squad came in. They set up a command post in the building. They swept my apartment and they said, okay, now you have to go to the emergency room for tests. And I said, it's not anthrax. You just said so. And they said if we have to do this. You

have to do this too, I laughed. Plus, if you don't, we can arrest you as a threat to public health, and we could make you go to the hospital. So out I went into an ambulance dressed in a hazmat suit one size too small that really cut in the groin. I spent the night getting checked out. The FBI then called and said, it's like it's like draino with ivory

soap flakes. But they also said there had been other letters that had arrived that night and the night before, sent to people like the chairman of CBS and David Letterman's office, and Nancy Pelosi and some poor guy who happened to have the name John Stuart who was not

the John Stuart. And they couldn't make me do this, but it would really help if I did not report what happened on my TV show that night, just for the one day do it tomorrow, because they had a lead on and the guy who had sent all these letters, and they didn't want to scare them off, And I said, sure, I'm a patriot. The next day, while we were still observing the embargo on the story, my story planning to

run it at eight o'clock at night. New York Post page six led with a picture of me with the headline powder puff spooks Keith and making sure to identify me as Quote, a frequent critic of President Bush's policies. The New York Post mocked me for not just assuming it was fake antrax and ignoring it, and claimed I insisted the cops should take me to the hospital. Quote whether they gave him a lollipop on the way out

isn't known. By the way, one of the actual anthrax letters in two thousand and one, one of the letters with actual anthrax in it that got some people sick and killed a little old lady, had been mailed to the New York Post, and one of their staffers had contracted anthrax. And still this was their attitude towards anthrax threats. Anyway, as it turned out, there was a guy in California sending out these threatening letters, each with fake antracks, to

about a dozen people. He sent me four of them. Ultimately, I soon knew the FBI guys by their first names. I pointed out to FBI Doug that the last envelope I received had a bar code on it. Maybe they could track the guy that way, and he said, oh, you're right. And the next thing I knew the FBI had just videotaped the suspect mailing yet another letter to me, the fifth from his home in Woodland Hills, California. And I swear to god he actually lived in his mother's

basement at age thirty seven or something. And FBI Doug said, do we have your permission to pull a letter out of the mailbox and open it? I said sure, And the next thing I knew the guy was sentenced to prison for like eighteen months, but not before FBI Doug said, by the way, that barcode, you noticed it connected to the post office here, and that's where we found his address.

And we also found the fact that he purchased a postal money order for fifteen dollars made out to the Catherine Harris for Florida Senate campaign, if you remember her from Gore V. Bush and his online history. We looked that all up. It's all about how she Katherine Harris and some woman named Laura something or another. They are the most beautiful women in history. And I said, Laura, Laura Ingram, and FBI Doug said, yeah, that's it, Laura Ingraham.

And if that isn't ten years of my life in one sentence courtesy of the New York effing Post, I don't know what is. And as I said earlier, the Post is cooking up something as we speak. It may be about my evil, evil tweets. I know it's it's not something you're going to read. It's not something I'm going to read. It's like that's Saturday Night Live sketch all those years ago about me and how terrible I was.

I mean, it was so long and not interesting that I began to look for a hockey game in the middle of the sketch, and the sketch was about me. Same thing with the Post. But I mean, it's not easy to find forty pages of red meat to throw at Murdoch's idiot readers every day. I understand that. All right, I've done all the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. Most of our Countdown music was a range produced and performed by Brian Ray and John Phillips Ale,

our musical directors have Countdown. It was produced by Tko Brothers. Mister Ray was on the guitars, bass and drums. Mister Chanel handled orchestration and keyboards. That's them playing now. Our satirical and pithy musical comments are by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust. The Old Woman theme from ESPN two, written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc. Is the sports music. Other music arranged and performed by

the group No Horns Allowed. My announcer today was my friend Larry David, and everything else was as always my fault. Sorry for the hoarseness. It was dog grooming day at the house and so the air is thick with small

doggie hair. I don't think Walter Cronkite ever said that on his show That's Countdown for Today, Day two hundred and forty nine of America held hostage just one and twenty four days until the scheduled end of Trump's lame duck and lame brain term unless unless he listens and resigns, unless he is removed sooner by MAGA and Jeffrey Epstein, or the pavement stuck on his hand, or a stuck escalator or tail and all, or Jimmy Kimmel the next

schedule count down his Monday until then, I'm Keith Oldraman good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.