Baby, I'm a game stato.
It takes a little tangle mess with Messta to ouch baby game statoo.
For good warning, this podcast is designed to take you outside of your comfort zone and make you question reality. Listener discretion is a vibe, Fellas, this ain't my first time at the rodeo.
Hi, and welcome back to another episode of Deplorable Nation. I'm your host of Glorable Janet, and today I'm super duper excited and stoked for the show. It has been a while in the making because we have all kinds of hoodies and things to chit chat about, and I couldn't be happier for this moment. So, without further ado, welcome back returning guest Colby and Julia. How are you guys.
I'm doing so good. Thanks for having us.
Janet, I'm super excited, mister Colby, are you alive?
And okay, I don't know I'm alive? And hey, okay, and do you have pens on this time? I knew it was going to be a.
Video running joke for those of you who are new to the show. So anyway, tonight is a special edition, I guess you could say, and it is called a love connection for a reason, because miss Julia and mister Colby have a love connection after all of these years in the podcast community. So I'm super excited to talk to you about it. So tell me how did this come about?
Do you want me to go or are you well? I obviously have been podcasting for like, I don't know three years now, has it been three years, threeish years or more? And I have met so many people podcasting, and I never really like, you know, how it is, Janet. There's so many dudes, and a lot.
Of them very many females, right.
And like a lot of them are kind of snarky anyways, towards working with females and stuff. So I have like this short list of cool people that I work with, and Colby was always one of them, and I always had like a secret crush on him, but I couldn't do anything about it. But I didn't know. So a lot has happened to me over the last year, which
we can get into later. But he reached out to me in July, like right in the midst of me going through like a lot of life changes, and my husband and I had already decided to separate and like go our separate ways, and he didn't know that. He just wanted to do an episode about Hunter S. Thompson and he sent me an email and then you texted me or I texted you, and the rest is kind
of history. I just kind of shot my shot, and I was like, even if he brutally didn't me, at least I can say, you know, I tried, but thankfully it was mutual.
I brutally accepted.
So I know that Colby has had a little secret crush on you as well for quite a long time.
Well, I would have never known, because it's like I said, when you work together podcasting, like you try to keep this professionalism. And he never once made any weird remarks or said anything inappropriate. So I was actually really nervous when I texted him kind of flirting with him, because I was like, he's gonna think like, this bitch is married and fucking craziest.
He's took weirdo.
Yeah, but he didn't. And I mean, you jump in and say you're part of things. I had a crush on him for the longest time. I remember the first episode I saw of him, I remember what he was wearing everything. But I had to let it go, and I mean let it go. Ha ha, I'm here. I didn't really let it go.
Well, I mean, you waited until you're at least semi available. Yeah, And I myself was in the middle of, you know, doing the co parenting thing with my son's mom and Janet from the last time I was on your show. We kind of talked about everything there, like in a short version of that story. Someone I had known for a few years and I reconnected and one and done.
She was pregnant and we actually once again broke up before either of us knew she was pregnant, and we tried to make it work, you know, to have a nuclear family type thing, and it wasn't for a lack of trying by any means. We're just not compatible.
So the nuclear family blew up.
It became literally Yeah. So, I mean I at that point, I was busy with work and I you know, struggling to keep my two podcasts afloat, and I had dated or you know, i'd started dating again a little bit here and there, and it was always you know, not a good fit, compatibility or just a lack of timing, and I kind of just decided I'm just going to put all my energy into my life and raising my son, and right then, you know, I I had worked with Julia a few times, and I always thought she was
cool as hell. And I'm not one to hit on a married check.
I was gonna say, yeah, he's not one to be flirty. And I can tell you that I tried to play Cupid with him before because I have always thought that Colby was such an amazing person. And I was like, man, and he will tell you and people already probably know this, but I was like, oh, man, this person that you know, you had a relationship before, Like, she doesn't respect you. She's not the right person for you. Like I hoped and prayed that you know, he would find the right person, and here you.
Go, Well I hope. So I'm I've busted his balls like a few times since I've been here.
How so.
I just feel like, well, you know, no, I'm kidding.
Well, you know, I'm not like the most easiest person to get along with, in my opinion, and I also feel like living with me might be a little bit difficult. He disagrees, But I mean, I'm stubborn and I have like things about me that were still like figuring out and learning about each other. But the way that all three of us think as far as conspiracy goes, it makes for an interesting match between the two of us anyways, right, And it's such a relief to be with someone who.
Has the same belief systems.
Yeah, and it's so like minded on so many things. I mean, we differ on a few things, but it's not gonna be like if he thought exactly like I did, that would also be boring in its own way. But like in my other relationship, I just felt like so unsatisfied with having to hide this whole part of my personality that was like so integral to who I am.
Which sucks because when I first started podcasting, it was easy to keep that part of myself like kind of like compartmentalized and not talk about it in front of his family or not bring it up when we were around his friends. And as my show grew, it became more and more a bigger piece of my life and I wanted to share that with someone. And Kolby's the same, Like, he has two shows and I love both of them.
But it's just it's incredible being able to talk about this kind of stuff with your significant other.
Right and not blows about right.
Yeah, and just being able to be myself. That's so crazy, Like I can talk about pedophiles on a Wednesday morning and he's like totally coolios. Yeah, no, it's great, And I did. I do want to clear the air because you know, I feel like some people may have a lot of questions about how we came to be. But as I spoke with you before Janet, when we covered the PCOS stuff, I got pregnant in December last year. I wasn't trying to get pregnant. I thought that was
going to be impossible for me. My husband ex husband, and I were struggling already before I found out I was pregnant. And then I was like, well, you know, it must be God, and you know we're going to find our way through this and we'll make it work and we'll be parents or whatever God has in store
for us. And obviously I had a horrible miscarriage and our marriage fell apart after that because we wanted different things and I felt like if we did have a baby together, it would save like whatever like remnant of love I had for him, and it just wasn't. Like I kept forcing it to happen forcing things to work, and it just wasn't working. And we had many conversations and then we had like one big, huge blow up fight where we were like, this is just never gonna work.
We're so incompatible with each other. And I had already started sleeping on the couch like a month before he ever even emailed me, and he had no idea what was going on, right, and my sister had plans of coming and getting all my stuff out of the house, like it was already done and over with. When Colby reached out to me, and like I said before, I was nervous to even text him about some flirty shit because I was like, he doesn't know what I'm even
going through right now. I mean I had kind of told him a little bit, but he still thought I was married, still thought everything was cool, that we were just besties. And so it could have went another way and he could have been like, no, I'm not into it, and I would it'll be single and still not be with my husband. It's not you know, it didn't start with any nefarious like weirdness, And I.
Want to I want to say I know this wholeheartedly because one of the very first times that I was ever on a show with you and he came into the picture and whatever. It was so like awkward. You could feel like the tension and stuff, and that's what you know when you reached him and I yes, yeah, when you had reached out to me, I was like, you know what, like I kind of got the sense that you guys have been done for a while and we're trying to like fake it till you make it
type thing. Let's let everybody think we're happy. But I could literally feel the tension and it was nothing like purposeful that happened.
It was just well, it's it's the vibe between the two of us. Yeah, And you know, I forgot that he walked in and you met him that one time. I forgot about that. And you know, you've always had like a little bit of an intuition about things anyways, and I wonder like just from what I had told you about him, like what your thoughts were, but you met him actually, yeah.
And that was and it was that was a long time ago. That was like I want to say, close to two years ago the first time I ever met you and and whatever. And then I was like, oh man, this is like so incredibly uncomfortable, and you're such a like vibrant, you know, high energy type person, and as soon as he like came into the picture, it's like you just like sank, like your emotions just completely sank into the bottom of the ocean.
Yeah, I felt being with him, and imagine I was with him seven years, right, So I told Colby before, I felt like I almost went through like a budget m k ultra program where I had to he like reprogrammed me into like thinking like what I was doing on my show is stupid, and like right, he thought it was a waste of time, and everything I talked about was like just utter bizarre bullshit.
And I think like he acted like he didn't like you, like at all, and you kind of you kind of had the same type you know, like energy back at him after that started, and I was like, ooh, this is this is not a good situation. And you mentioned something earlier about like having to kind of hide that part of you that's so integral in your life and your feelings and what you think and how you act
and all all of that stuff. And from the get go, I always thought he was the type of person that made you suppress every important part was you and I had the exact same because my marriage was like that. And he hated me being a weirdo. He hated me joking, he hated like laughter, he hated you know, me being serious. He literally hated everything about my personality. And it was like, don't be you be this person that I want you
to be. Literally, never do that, because when you have to hide part of yourself like that, it's never going to work.
He could even like me, though, like I have said that to people before, I was like, I don't think he actually liked me at all, like as a person.
I think maybe he liked how I looked or liked who I was when we met because going back to like one of our first or maybe the first episode that you and I did together about like my life story, he met me when I was a very broken, very desperate person, and I needed him in that moment, and I tried to turn my feelings towards him from the beginning of our relationship into like something that could last forever, and it just was not meant to be that way.
Like I did need him when I met him, and it was the kind of situation my mom had just died. Two weeks before I met him, I was drinking and crying and I was very depressed, and he kind of like saw me like a broken bird that he could kind of like manipulate.
Because I was just gonna say that, yeah, because you're easier to control when you're weak or you feel like you're broken down.
Yeah, yeah, And imagine you know how I felt about my mom too, And I was looking for someone to kind of like be that companion in my life and he just showed up. Like, but you know what's crazy, Janet. I still, even though I was with him seven years and like it was not a great relationship, I still feel like everything that happened leading up to this moment in time, it had to be in the perfect timing.
Because even before I got pregnant last year, like let's say like June of last year, if you would have said, hey, if something ever happened to you and Zachary, would you date a guy that had kids or a kid? I would have been like, laugh, my fucking ass off. You gotta be fucking joking. I'm gonna date somebody with kids when I have no kids. Like that was something I was completely disinterested in I had went on dates with guys like in the past had kids, and I'd be like, oh,
what a shame they have kids. It will never work. I'm not interested in that. And you know, they would try to like sell it to me, like, oh, I only have my son like every other weekend, and I was like, you're selling yourself to me by saying you're a shitty dad, like like that's making it better.
I want you more.
Yeah, you might as well fucking move to fucking France as much as you see your kids, Like that's not you're not selling it to me. But so, you know, I just was completely disinterested in that. But after I got pregnant, my whole mind like state shifted because I started thinking about like, goddamn, you know, I could see myself being part of a family, like my own family. And I love Wyatt so much. He's like the sweetest
baby ever. He's happy all the time. He barely ever cries and it's only if he gets like severely injured, Like yeah, yeah, he's the sweetest little angel. And of course I didn't give birth to him, but I would not have been ready to step into this type of role if I wouldn't have gotten pregnant because it changed everything about what I think in value about my future. I had like a pretty shallow existence before that happened.
Like I really wasn't worried about it. I wanted to go to the bar and go to what do whatever. Zachary freaking drugged me out every weekend, and it was like drunk, puke, diarrhea, fucking like you know how it is, right, you get drunk every weekend and then it takes you almost like the whole next week to recover from that shit to just go back out.
And get.
It was just like such a meaningless existence. Really. In the second I found out I was pregnant, I was like, oh my god, we're gonna pick pumpkins together, and we're gonna watch scary movies and we're gonna like I had this whole life in my mind, and it doesn't take very long for that to happen, Like it might take guys longer, you know, when their child is actually born,
to feel like they're a father. But like the second I looked at the pea stick and I saw two lines, I had the entire future mapped out with me and that baby, and Zachary probably would have been an absent father. So like I had this whole thing in mind of what I was gonna do and shit, and then when I had the miscarriage, I was like, this can't be it, Like I can't stay with fucking this guy, Like this can't be my life. Because he didn't want to try again.
He didn't want He was like, thank god that happened. I didn't want kids, right, And I'm sitting here completely like I've I've just got nothing left to give to him and he has nothing left give to me. We don't even want the same things. It was not it was never gonna work, right, But and I said.
I thank you guys being together for seven years. You stayed together number one, because it's the right thing to do, right. It's a convenience thing, you know, it's companionship or whatever, even if it's not really a really great companion right, like world's shittiest roommate.
To be with.
Been there, been there, done that, you know. I mean, I tried to stick my marriage out for a really long time, and I was like, you know what, I
finally got to play. I'm like, I can't do this anymore because you and I like don't mesh, like we hate everything about each other, like annoyed at the smallest things, and you know, like his personality disturbed me because he would get super duper drunk and do god awful embarrassing things like we went on a cruise one time and met all these nice couples at dinner or whatever, and he would get super drunk. He went out on the dance floor and literally strip naked.
Oh my god, go bowling.
Get super shit face drunk and so drunk that he like went down the lane with the ball fall in a fire because you're drunk, Like, oh my things. And I'm like the sober controlled person. And I was like, this is not like he hates my personality. He hates that I'm weird and quirky, and you know, he hates my sense of humor and stuff. And I didn't like him either. And we didn't like the same music or the same TV shows or or anything.
Girl, how about down to We didn't like to eat the same shit, Like they couldn't even go to a fucking restaurant. Like it was just everything was a fight. Everything was an argument. But what I will say, though, like I know countless not countless, I know quite a few people who are in relationships or marriages like this
who will never leave. They're unhappy, they know that they're not compatible with their partner, but they're never going to leave because, first of all, it's very uncomfortable and very stressful to leave a situation you've been in for many
years to start something new or be by yourself. And second of all, it's just like you get matrix in your own fucking relationships, like you're stuck in them, and you fear that leaving it could end you up in a worse situation, so you just stay in it out of the convenience.
Of it, you know what. I think a lot of a lot of people also are afraid to make the change and make the move because of what other people may think or say about them, or other people judging
them that it's inappropriate. It shouldn't, uh, you know, you should never endo marriage Like I've heard literally all kinds of stuff about you know why, I'm not married to that person anymore, And I really could care less because leaving that everything fell into place, like you said, and I met my soulmate, the person I was supposed to be with all that time.
And it just so happens that your situation is kind of similar to Colby, and I like he reached across time and plucked me out of my entire fucking life in Oklahoma, like I. The first time I saw him, I was a try him and he said he was an organ, and I put in my phone. I was like, you know, how fucking far is organ for my love?
I wonder?
And I saw how far away it was. I was like, oh, that'll never fucking happen, Like he's so far away. And then when we started talking and I flew here the first time to visit him, I was like, you know what, I fucking love everything about this. I'm gonna live an organ. I'm gonna leave my entire life, all my friends, my family, quit my job. I'm gonna do it all. Like I.
This is hard for people, but I understand. And again probably because I had the miscarriage and I saw the fucking face of God while I was laying in the fucking yard bed, I was like, right is so short. And I've spent seven years with this guy who hates me, literally hates me, and I don't even like my job. My boss is a fat bitch, Like I'm having struggles like finding a reason to stay in Oklahoma anyway. And I met Kolbe and I was like, this is it.
If this isn't it, then I don't know what is because and that seems to be perfect timing.
That's the That's the exact same thing. Like when I met Greg, I was like, you know what, I don't care like where he lives, I don't care. If it's tim buck to Alaska, I would absolutely go there because he's my person. And I knew it. I knew from the get go, from the very first chat we ever had. I'm like, this is my person. He doesn't know it yet, but this is my person.
I thought the same thing too when I texted him. I was like, you know, he'd be a fucking dumb ass to not want this to happen because I can't imagine anyone better for him. But incorrect me if I'm wrong, No correction.
But yeah, I.
Mean, if he lived in like Minnesota, he might have had to sell it a little harder when I came to visit him. But Oregon is beautiful. It's probably the prettiest place I've ever lived. I mean Ohio, the part of Ohio that I'm from is really pretty in the fall, and you know, the leaves change and it's gorgeous and it's the perfect weather to like do fall things. But then as soon as the end of November hits, it's like six feet of snow. You can't leave your house.
Everybody's in a pissed off, bad mood, and it stays that way until like February March April. Yeah. No, it's it's crazy. It's a winter wonderland up there, but it's probably like that here too. But there's just so many other things that I love about being here. Colby.
Colby, let me ask you a question. So when she texts you was kind of all like flirty to do with you. What was going through your head when you've got those text.
I was surprised, You're like, holy, holy hell. Yeah. Well, I mean a little bit of a little bit of backstory on that front. She and I pretty much talked regularly, even when we were like setting up shows.
Right, and I know this for a fact. Yeah, and we've been going on for a long time.
Well, we had each other's numbers when I first I mean, I have a flip phone and I use email to talk with people. For podcasting and right out the gate when she and I we were on a kind of a swapcast with Nick from a cole Rejects and we were covering Laurel Canyon, and we decided during that show to do an episode on Courtney Love, and I emailed her about it and she just said, here's my number.
So we kind of just kept in touch, and then things got crazy for me, and right around the time why it was about to be born, we were texting about how you know he was due on the sixteenth of November, Julia's birthdays on the thirtieth, and he ended
up being late. And the last time we talked, I had told her that, yeah, any day now, and she said, I just know he's going to be born on my birthday, and so we were talking about that and then I ended up texting her and telling her about three hours late. He was born at like four in the morning, and it was December first.
I think that's so cute, though our birthdays aren't literally the thirtieth in the first.
Yeah, And so then Whyatt had the traumatic birth. His mom went through a lot near the end of that pregnancy, which we covered on your show earlier, and then you know, I was kind of just swamped with that. And the next time I texted her, I said, yeah, I hears some pictures of him, and she said, you'll never guess I'm pregnant, and you know, I was really happy for it because I knew she wanted to be a mom and that it might be difficult for her to conceive.
And then I got a text from her about the miscarriage, and I responded with like several paragraph long texts, and at that time, my phone was on the fritz, and I found out through work connections nobody was getting my texts unless they were real short because my phone, if you go more than like five sentences, my phone switches it to a media message, and my phone wasn't sending those.
And so I was thinking a lot about her, and I thought, I wonder if she ever got that text, because she opened up to me, and then as far as she concerned, I just left her high and dry.
I did not get that.
I thought he ghosted me too. I was like, because we talk on a pretty pretty regular basis, and I was like, you know, like I text him and like I never heard back, and it was like once.
More, and then I got my new phone, and I got a number or a text from Janet and you weren't in my new phone. I lost all my contact Well have you talked to such and such about an interview? And it seemed to me like I get these random texts every once in a while, like how is your day going? I bet you're feeling down or ship like that, and then like you'll get some random work type texts and I was just like, oh, that's nobody, and.
It was you can and wait was I the nobody texting you?
As far as I was concerned, Have you spoke with phill in the blank? I don't remember who it was that somebody you would talk to and wanted me to interview or you thought it might make a good guest for my show. And it just said have you talked to such and such for an interview? And I was like, Oh, that's one of those, you know, fishing for texts and I think we reconnected on Twitter later and then you said you never responded to my last one out I
was like, oh, that was you. So anyway, I had this weird thing happen in the middle of the night once and I ended up calling my mom and I just started talking about everything with Wyatt, and then for some reason, I just brought Julia up, and I thought to myself, I got to reach out to her again
and make sure that she got my last text. And plus I had heard her on the Cult of Conspiracy talking about Sean Binney Ramsey and she had mentioned Hunter S. Thompson and I kind of had started stumbling into, like with my research things about him, and she alluded to the same thing that I had seen on that show. So I thought I'll just email her about that, and she immediately texted me, and.
I emailed you back and I said, you never texted me back, asshole.
Yeah, And so she gave me your number again. We started texting and pretty quick she started coming on to me. Pretty quick.
Anyway, I said, Hi.
This is Julia.
I love you.
Let's be together.
Well, I asked her about like how everything was in the aftermath of the miscarriage, and she told me that her marriage was on the rocks, and I just said, well, you know, that kind of thing can be rough. It's either going to bring you closer together or push you apart. I said, I hope that if you wish that you two can you know come together and reconcile and find some common ground and this could bring you closer together.
And she said no, it's over, and secretly I was like, huh, well, and before I even had time to you know, she said yeah. And then we're texting back and forth a little bit and she says, do you live in a house or an apartment? I said a house and she said oh. And I didn't know if she was serious, but she was like, what would you think if I
came to visit you? And I said sure, and we started planning and I said, well, you know everything about what's going on in my life, and I mean, are you okay with the fact that you know, I meant dad and I'm pretty much immersed in this, I mean with somebody I can't be with romantically. I mean, we are very much in each other's lives having a kid together, right, And I know that's a lot to ask someone to
be okay with. And she was like, oh, no, I get it, understand, And we just kind of kept talking about it, and the next thing I know, she's buying plane tickets and I said, okay, well we're going to see I guess. And you know, I think it seemed like a while, but I think it was about five or six weeks maybe after we started talking about it, that you came and visited, and I mean that went really well, obviously, and then the hard part.
I couldn't get enough on me Jen and oh my god, it's and then he was.
Like, I don't want you to go home, and you're like.
Okay, I didn't want to go home.
Actually well I kind of was like, you know, we need we have some loose ends to tie up, and maybe she did. My loose ends are going to be as loose as they are for a while. And I mean she went back and the divorce was finalized and she ended up moving out, and then we had like an almost sixty day wait until you know, the trip was made where I flew over and then we drove
back across the country and that was a long ass time. Yeah. Yeah, And it seemed to for me it was both because I'm so busy that you know, I blink in a week's gone by.
Oh my god, Janet, I felt every fucking moment all the time. I felt it was excruciating. I missed him so much and I missed Wyatt, and I didn't well I mean, I'll just say I didn't get to say bye to Wyatt. It was just like I saw him a little bit, and then we were supposed to have him again and that didn't work out that day. So I was like, damn and I missed both of them. And I don't know. Let me just tell you something. For all the ladies out there that's in your twenties,
find a guy who's a good dad, Panny Dropper. I'm telling you, it's the most attractive thing. Kobe is such an amazing dad. Just sets my woinds Ablaze's just he's gonna be around the house for me.
Please.
You know what an amazing dad.
I knew because he was on my show once and uh, he's like I've got some news, you know whatever, and she's pregnant, and I said, oh my god, You're going to be the best dad in the entire world, just because he is such a beautiful person anyway and has such a beautiful, caring soul. And I'm like, I'm like, Colby, You're going to be like the best dad, like ever
ever ever. He's like, I don't know, and I'm like yeah, And I just want to say this for the record, that while you know, uh, before why it was born and there he's having you know why, it's going through all these issues and she was having all the issues and stuff. He called me one night and we were on the phone for a very long time and whose name came up? Yours?
My name?
Your name? Yep. We were we were talking. We were having a very lengthy conversation, and he's like, so what do you think about Julia? So I'm just saying it's been out through that. Yeah.
He smokes a lot of.
Weed though, Well, I mean the conversation she's talking about is this when I called about like what was going on with the this ses, your medication and all that stuff.
Uh, it was before that, because it was before she gave birth. Okay, but you guys were in the hospital because she was having all those issues, right, And so then it had been like a couple of days or whatever, and I was like checking to see, you know, what was going on or whatever, and You're.
Like, I've always been with him. He didn't know it.
Though, right, And that's what I always told Greg. I was like before we ever met, and I you know, he flew to see me on Thanksgiving one year and I was like, you know, you keep saying you don't want a relationship, you don't want anything serious. I'm like, I guarantee that's going to change after you meet me. And he's like, oh, whatever, it is not and I'm like, trust me, it is. And guess what, ladies and gentlemen, we have been together ever since literally and it'll be fifteen years.
Congratulations.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Yeah, there you go.
That's amazing. And that's why I think conversations like this, though they're difficult to have, are very important because there's a lot of girls my age or even older than I am, who are stuck in these like weird ass relationships and they have the mind to leave, but they just won't, right, and they get just stuck. And that's so sad.
It makes me a bad person if I leave, because I'm like giving up. I'm not one to give up easily, because, like I said, my previous marriage was fifteen years ironically enough, but it was like every day was a chore to even just get up and face the day because I was so miserable, so unhappy. You know, we didn't like each other, we didn't have anything in common whatsoever. He was one that liked a name call or put me down, belittle me. You're never going to be anything without me,
You're never going to have anything or do anything. And I'm the reason, you know, for all your success or whatever. And it's like people get stuck in that, you know, in that rut where it's kind of like, what do you call that? I just lost my dream thought?
But it's like you.
Get so used to like being put down and whatever that you start to lose your own sense of self and your own self esteem. And well, maybe it is all my fault, Maybe I am not good enough whatever. You should never settle for someone who thinks that you are less than what you are.
Well, I could feel myself slipping right, and I could feel myself giving up little parts of myself, and I just would say, like, it's for the greater good of our relationship that I sever this part of myself and just sacrifice it because it makes my life easier to be this way for him, And I mean it definitely wasn't reciprocated. He didn't really scrifice, and I just you know, you take pictures together, you get absorbed into the other person's family, and then it's like, oh, well, what do
we do? What are we going to break up? We have all these pictures together on Facebook. Fucking I feel like I've lived many lifetimes in just a short amount of time. I've been alive, and I'm fucking not afraid of anything at this point. I was afraid a little bit when I was living with my sister, like during the transition between getting divorced and moving in with Golbie
and I was staying with my sister. I was a little bit scared, only because I was like, Damn, everything I've ever owned is in this room.
Alma.
Yeah. And that's a kind of terrifying feeling to like be like, gosh, all this time that I've like built this imaginary existence that I thought was so important, it's so not important.
Well that's the thing, though, is it's stuff, and stuff can be replaced, but your self worth and your heart cannot be replaced.
Just as Colby, I've f redecorated this bitch.
Oh I used to see my house. Now it's actually like a home.
Do you like it?
I mean, it's, like I said at the beginning of this episode, like I do understand, like maybe I'm not the easiest person to live with because I do like to have certain things, like I have a little bit of OCD about like I want things a certain way, but.
I'm learning to shut cabinets.
Yeah, but oh my gosh, her and Greg would get along very well then, because Greg has OCD. Anytime he walked into a room, he turns the light switch off. It doesn't matter if I'm in the kitchen actually taking a meal, he will flip the light switch off and I'm like, can't use it a knife here, can't see what I'm doing. I put that back on. So I'm going to tell you something that you you may not realize because you're kind of being a little hard on yourself.
Right.
The reason why you have a little bit of OCD is because you had a very stressful, very traumatic upbringing. Right, You have been through so much stuff, and your your OCD is because it's like hanging on to control of things because you had no control over so much of your life, and things that happen in your life cry that that is. That is what that is? So those
are things that you guys can work out. And why are these things like why is it necessary for you to have you know, all these things in a row or you know, to check the lock on the door twenty times or whatever. It comes from what your past was. So those are things that you guys can definitely be you know, that's part of your communication and growing your relationship. But Colby is so like calm, yes, and he really is.
Telling me, well, I want to set the record straight about something for the people only listening. And you can't see me shaking my head when she says she's hard to live with, because I you know, I'm forty one years old. The majority of my adult life I have spent alone, but there's you know, intermittently I have been in like cohabitating type relationships, right, and she's by far
the easiest person I've ever lived with. I mean, she really aims to please, and she's always so considerate and like double checking with me about everything she does, and like this is your house, did you see?
That's why I said, you're being really hard on your ands?
Do that? Yeah? I mean, and it's like you said critic, yeah, and I mean considerate people at their core always are their critic And like she hasn't brought any strife to my life whatsoever, and it's improved in every single way, and she's excellent with my son. I mean, she's learning to deal with my baby mamas as days go by. I mean, honestly, that might be the most stressful part of this whole thing, is she's walking into a situation where it's not just me, you know I, you know I.
It's a kid, her personality, and it's it's not the it's not the thing about, you know, being stepping into that you know, mom role or surrogate mom role. It's it's the relationship between her and the ex Because females, Oh my goodness, females are very hard. If you don't mesh, you don't mesh. And females are very caddy and snarky and emotional. So you could literally be the calmest, nicest female in the world, but if the other person doesn't
have that same personality, there's going to be some friction. Yeah.
To Ashley's credit, she has taken this a lot better than I thought she would. I mean, she was she was shocked at first that I was moving so fast with this person, moving them into my home where her son spends half his waking hours, right, And I mean it was about like I expected when I told her she was that night I was working late. She called me irate and was just like, I can't believe you're doing this. I think it's so stupid. I think it's risky.
And I said, well, you just got to trust that I know right this is this is a good person. And if I thought for a second that any like harm or negative impact was going to happen to us would do it. I wouldn't be doing this, and she did. After like two days of knowing, she called me again and said, you're right, this is really hard for me. And I mean, she tried to make this very house her home. It lasted all about a week, right, and.
She wasn't she was she was no, and she was not the right person right, and she was very She caused so much chaos and turmoil in your life that you guys absolutely did not belong together, like at all. No, and you know I have very different personalities.
I did something I never thought I would do, would be to try to make something work with somebody I knew that I wasn't ultimately supposed to be with, just because I thought, if there is a chance we could make it work for his sake. But you know that all goes out the window. When you live together for seven days and every single day, I mean she had seven years. I had seven days. I can't imagine seven years.
Yeah, and sometimes seven days or even seven hours with somebody that's the wrong person. You're gonna know what.
Oh, the first night we all stayed in this house. She has an older daughter who's seven, and I say older older than my son. I mean she's got a young daughter, right, And I just saw, like first night we all tried to be here, it was just read out the gate. Every possible thing that could be stressed over, every little thing was just like thrown out in the open, and it just it just kind of compounded over that week, and she ended up being the one to leave. I
would have tried harder. I thought a week isn't a great, you know, representation of what it could be. But actually it was. And it was hard for me to let it go. And when I did, she wanted back in, and she especially after why it was born. She saw like, yeah, he's not a bad dad. He might believe some crazy shit, he might stress me the fuck out, but she then wanted to make it work, and I had at that point, I was just.
Like, no, you would like to see it.
Well, I really want things to be smooth, but I also know I can't be with this person. So we walked this weird fine line between it's like a big gray area. You're not romantically involved, but you have a kid together and you love each other as parents, but you outside of that, you don't. And so, you know, I had just kind of understood for the first time that, yeah, you can actually raise a kid apart from the parent that you had the kid with, and it could be
better than if you were together. I mean I didn't I've always known that, but for myself, I never would have chosen to have a kid with somebody I couldn't.
Be with, right. But that's life lessons, right, And and that's why when Julia said earlier like things had to happen in the order that they did for this to grow and flourish. And I think it's a beautiful thing. And I've got to tell the listeners I loved this so much. Because I'm talking to Colby and he's like not saying anything to me, like I don't know what's going on, and he's like, yeah, well, I got we
need I need to call you. Uh, maybe tomorrow or something because I got something to talk to you about, and I'm like, okay, Well then the call didn't come, and I'm like, what the heck is he going to talk to me about? What is going on? And then Julia got a hold of me, and it was like I couldn't wait. I had to tell you blah blah blah. And I felt honored and blessed because, uh, you asked me for my blessing, which meant like you don't even know,
like how what that meant to me. But I'm like absolutely, of course, because you know, like I had hoped for years, like I said earlier, that you know, Colbe would find somebody, and then for you guys knowing each other and knowing each other for years and communicating, you know, on a regular basis, even though it was like business level, professional type stuff, to then get into this beautiful relationship and actually be together. I absolutely love it.
You're everybody's small I'm in the podcast where or Grandma?
Now, there's a lot of youngsters out there.
You're more like an older sister to me.
I'm not crazy to go the other day. I'm the crazy aunt that nobody wants to invite to the family Thanksgiving.
Well, you know, it's funny you say that, Janet, because like I I figured you knew, but you never You were so kind and respectful to me. You never said it, but I had shared with you, like a lot of things just in passing, and I wondered if you ever picked up on, like maybe how unhappy I was in my situation. But even you know, and again this is
probably like an overshare. But I have to say, because we did the PCOS episode together, I broke down finally, and this is just like a follow up to that conversation. I went to my doctor and they prescribed me clomied, and I took the clomad and I had absolutely horrible side effects. I was vomiting, I had night sweats, I had restless leg syndrome. I had all this stuff. Okay, I was literally I.
Was with you, Colby.
I literally had all these side effects. I was miserable for like five days or however long you're supposed to tickets, like five days. And so I started taking these ovulation predictor tests and finally I got a positive one, and that night, I like went into the bedroom and I told him. I was like, I finally got a positive ovulation test, like it's go time. And he he was like, well,
I'll just go to the gym. And I got a few errands I need to run and then when and I get back, we'll do it, and you know whatever. So I waited up and it just kept getting later. Yeah, it just kept getting later and later and later, and he still wasn't home. And then it was like eleven thirty at night and we both had to get up at five point thirty the next morning for work, and I was sitting up waiting for him. And then he
got home. He took like an hour long shower, was dicking around on his phone doing all this stuff, and then finally he got in the bed and I was like, okay, we discussed this. You know what you gotta do. You know what we gotta do. And he was like, yeah, this is just not for me. I don't want children with you. I never wanted children with you. I didn't think the medication would actually work. This is just no. And we got in a big scuffle or whatever, and
that was the night. He said do you want to sleep on the couch or do you want me to? And I was mad and I didn't even want to be in the bedroom, and so I was like, I'll sleep on the couch. And it was from that point shortly after we recorded the PCOS episode and after I was sleeping on the couch and we were fighting every day, and it was like he allowed me to take a medication and go through all those side effects knowing he didn't want to have this future with me. I guess
he was like placating me or whatever. And then for him to say, oh, I didn't think the medication would actually work. I don't even want this with you. It just was like it hit me like a ton of bricks that for the longest he has felt the same way I did. That we really shouldn't have been together. I told you, But it just was like it was like a catalyst moment where we both had to look at each other and be like, why are we even
doing this? Like we don't want to be together, we don't like each other, we don't want the same things, and you.
Guys like snipe at each other a lot on a right regular basis.
I mean, Janet, we really like this. This was our day. We both got up at five point thirty. We would brush our teeth in the sinks next to each other, not say a word. He would get himself ready for work, he'd leave without saying by or anything, and I'd get myself ready. I'd leave for work. Then we'd both come home around the same time in the afternoon. I'd feed the dogs, make myself something to eat, and I'd sit in our bedroom and I watch Ghost Adventures all night
and he'd play Call of Duty. That was our marriage. We didn't speak, we didn't hang out, we didn't go on dates, we didn't spend time together. We didn't conversate. We didn't like anything. I had to make myself a separate dinner every night because he didn't like what I made to eat. We didn't like to eat the same things, watch the same movies.
That like.
There was literally no compatibility between us other than the fact that we were married and we shared an address and a last name, and we were trying to make that situation work because we had already, you know, so put so much of ourselves into it at that point. But it was like a roommate situation where I just tried to stay as far away from him as possible, and that was a difficult situation. To be in. I'm
not gonna lie. It's an equally difficult situation to like come in the middle of Colby's life, and like, I've never had to share someone with another person before. I'm having to deal with some emotions within myself that I've never dealt with before.
She's doing a good job with it too.
I'm really trying.
I mean, both you and Ashley. I in my mind, I thought you guys would just beat each other's throats.
And Ashley's a very difficult and controlling person and she's starting to see a little bit of that, and I mean, she means well, and I try not to harbor ill feelings against her, right it could be hard, and I know she probably has the same struggles with me, but we've made it work, right, And now this whole other person comes in, so they're both dealing with that and I'm kind of in the middle of it, and it's going a lot. I mean, we're having Thanksgiving together, so to.
Me, I think that I think that's good though, And that's impressive adulting, right because how many people would actually extend that olive branch to do that?
Yeah? Not many? And I mean the first day we got back here was October thirtieth, So her second day here, we take Wyatt trick or treating with Ashley, her daughter, and a group of friends and their parents. And I mean, I think, I don't know, I don't want to speak for you, Julia, but it was a lot for you probably to like it was a lot for me, Yeah, And you know, it was just, oh, I'm here, I live in now, I'm gonna go trick or treating with my my new boyfriend's ex and their kid and a
bunch of people I don't know. And you know, it wasn't like tense or anything.
It wasn't tense. It was just a lot for me, Like I hadn't been here a week yet, and I'm like jumping right in kind of which I'm fine with it. Just it was a lot for me at the moment.
Right because you're you've still got a lot of stuff that you're still trying to process through and then being in a new state and a new house and new surroundings with new people and you know, finding your way, So there's a lot going on emotionally.
And I will tell you it's it's definitely a situation that I've never been in before, like with someone who had Like I said before, if I even went on a date with somebody and they said they had kids, I was like, baby, mama, drama. Fuck you, Like I'm not doing that. But what the point is. It's like I was in a difficult situation before that I was miserable in and it was it was a struggle every
day to stay in it. This is a difficult situation, but I have so much to gain right being in this situation, and I'm actually so so happy, and it's completely different. Like I'm in love with Colby. I don't think I was ever even in love with him, right, And it's just different, Like being in a difficult situation where you have so much to gain is different than being in a difficult situation where you're just torturing yourself day and in, day out for no fucking you know. So, yeah,
it's difficult. I'm learning, I'm adapting. I'm a chameleon. I'm trying to adjust to my surroundings. But yeah, I mean it's not just been seamless as I was expecting it to be. But it doesn't make me regret anything or have like doubts or anything like that. I just I'm just trying to figure out my role in this situation.
Well, and I can understand that because you know, like I had my daughter, Greg had his son, and so blending the families and trying to figure out my role as a step mom his role as a stepdad, like how are we going to parent? Like are we on the same page? Are we not on the same page? And it took a while the communication wise, to figure all of that stuff out because his ex wife parented very differently than what I parented, because I was mom and dad, you know, and it's like, you know, this
is what we're having for a meal. If you don't eat, you're not gonna eat. Like we're not gonna like get snacks, junk food, blah blah blah. And and he was the complete opposite where his wife would let him if he didn't want to eat dinner, he'd just go eat a bowl of candy and oh my god, I'm like, we can't. Yeah,
it's not gonna work for me. Or you know, you're too lazy to get up and go brush your teeth, so you want your dad to bring you your toothbrush so you can lay in the chair and brush your teeth, no, and you know it's that balances, right.
And it's harder for like older kids too, like what you jumped in the middle of, like they've already established like their routine and like their life and everything. I'm lucky because whyatt will potentially never have a memory without me in it, because he's so little, he's not even one yet, Like he'll always understand that eight days, yeah, eight days, seven days for me, I'll be thirty.
I was gonna say, your birthday is coming up.
Yeah, she announced it. I didn't know if you're going to say how old you were.
Well, I'm Benjamin Buttoning, so technically I'm reting back.
I'll be twenty eight and ten years. I'll be breaking the law almost eleven years. When you're you're going back, you'll be seventeen and eleven years whatever.
But no, I'll be thirty on the thirtieth. I'm actually dreading it because well, it's it's very symbolic, though, isn't it Like I'm starting a new era of my life.
I was glad to let my twenties go first.
I'm not, well, yeah, in.
My thirties as well, Like you know, I in my forties and it's I don't know. I think every new decade has been better so far.
Agreed. I can definitely attested that, Yeah, this.
Is really a new era of life for me. I mean, I'm in a completely everything about my life is new right now. So it's kind of symbolic like having this birthday here with Colby. But it's like I said, it's also difficult for me because Colby has so much on his plate, and I know he's he's got to be stressed out, like he's got Ashley and me and Wyatt and work and everything else in two podcasts and whatever.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
But I'm just saying, like my first priority is him, and he has to spread himself over like many different responsibilities. So I feel sorry for him sometimes, kind of like you have a lot it's great to take care of.
Yeah, I mean, I think it'll get less stressful in ways as he gets older. It might get more stressful in the ways. And then we choose to have kids, and you know we're going to add that whole element into the thing and bring it.
Your cat is not happy. I just I just saw him go flying by a second ago. Yeah, you're gonna have to edit that out.
I'll get rid of him right now. You talk about.
Yourselves, I'll get Actually, i'll get rid of him because I have to go to the bathroom anyway. So just tell tell Janet how much you love me and how you couldn't live without me, and I'll be right back. Oh boy, tell her, Hey, you should start telling her about this Stanley.
Oh gosh, Well, this is a story that we've told many times. I told her it was her turn next time because she set in on disinfobation m h. And that episode will probably be out tomorrow or the next day. But basically, in a nutshell, Julia is a huge Kubrick fan, as am I. And we're going across country, and she said she had this thing on her bucket list. She wanted to stay at the Stanley Hotel. And I said, well, I mean, yeah, you know, we're going from Oklahoma to Oregon.
It's a bit of a jaunt north. We'd ended up splitting it up to the first day. You know, I got in late Saturday night. Sunday morning, we wake up and dried to Colorado, and then the following day we drove to my mom's house stayed the night there, so Julia got to meet my mom and my two of my siblings two out of the tree or four oop, sorry Kyle, and then we Kyle, you know, yeah he counts, but so wet. We we get into this hotel that
Julia spent a pretty penny on this room. It's the Stanley Hotel from the Shining and they and they also shot Dumb and Dumber there when yeah, we thought it would be. And we're on the road all day a couple of different times. Julia started out driving, get us out of Oklahoma and we got into Kansas, and on a couple of different occasions, she had to pee really bad, and you know, we'd drive and be like, there's got to be like a gas station. The loves there's something
out here. And the first time we stopped for a pea break, she was full to the brim. We just found this like little farm shed with some pipes and silos laying there, and we went and found a good spot to hide the car and we both peed and then we ate Sonic right after that, and fucking Sonic
that comes in later. So you know, I take over driving and we get into Colorado right at like you know, dusk, and we go through and around Denver and we get into Estes Park, which is, you know, like ritzy, kind of a ritzy like mid level town and that Stanley Hotels outside of there. So we're driving this long, windy ass road and to get there, and she's got a pee again, and I said, oh, we should have stopped in Esti's Park because I don't. I don't think there's
going to be anywhere to pull over here. I said, I'll keep my eyes peeled. And right after that, we see this little outpost, like some kind of utility shed
and it's got a little pull out. So we get off and I said, I'll pee too, and so we both go behind the shed and there's not a lot of room back there, and I'm standing and she's squatting to my right and that sonic fart I'd been holding in for a while and Julia starts peeing, and I don't know if you want to cut in here, but she realizes in that moment that she has.
A u T I like a bad one. And it felt like razor blades as I was peeling, and I was like dune, dune, dun and rip sass.
And that fart just slips right on out. I was like, oh, I said, sorry, honey, and she's like not far away from me.
I mean she's like a literally shot face.
So this night is starting there.
Started with the UT I and a part.
And a sonic fart. No, I don't I don't eat a lot. I'm lucky it was just gas and I mean sonics, not a bad one. Like if I had had McDonald's or Taco baccle Bell, I might have had an embarrassing moment more than farting in.
Her face could have been like you would have had the Taco Bell trip.
We actually just watched the South Park already of human centipedes, so she gets that. So we get in there and I still don't know about the UTI, and it's really.
Fac I was trying to be cute, you know, Janet, like, not have fucking health issues and shit, because we're still newly in love. I'm not supposed to have health issues for another like six months.
And technically speaking, he's not supposed to shat in your face. Hey there right off the.
It's preferably ever, but you know it might it might be funny in five years. But yeah, first road trip together blasting ass. So this fucking hotel is glamorous and beautiful from the outside. We're like carrying a choir of music.
We played the shining music all the way up to it. We were all getting in the like vibes and stuff.
I mean, it looks beautiful. And then funny enough, we talked with her brother on the phone and he's like, oh, I went there once. It was awesome, and she said she stayed, and he goes, no, We just like we're there, and we just stopped and took a picture in front of the building. That's what we should have done. So we go in there, and Julia had talked to the woman when she's booked the room into throwing in a complimentary tour, and we like walk in the middle of
a tour and see what it's like. And we check in, We go get our bags, We go up these nice stairs with like shining type carpet and we get into the room and she goes in first. Well, she she was I didn't know what to expect. She she got the Sunrise Sweet six hundred dollars and so and this is Halloween week, which is their biggest week, and so I think the prices might have been a little higher, but still six hundred dollars for one night in this
hotel room, and it's more like a motel room. You walk in and you're expecting a suite and it's like.
A tiny ass motel.
Six minus a microwave in the free ac was there and it was plugged in, but you couldn't turn it on or off, and it was a little bit.
Of a microwave.
So she's pissed. And I've been on the road all day and I bought this bottle of wine over on the coffee tables, like, oh yeah, she said, we're gonna throw into tour and a bottle of wine. So they got these paper wine cups or not paper plastic, and the bottle opener looks like it came from the dollar store, and the bottle of wine was probably like a Walmart special.
She said she's gonna take a shower, and so I bury that fucking bottle opener in the cork and it's not like the prongs aren't even lined up with the edge like the lip of the bottle, and so I'm like, I just gotta pull this cork out. And you could do that with cheap wine. So I knew for sure this was cheap, and I just pulled as hard as
I could. I got the cork out, but at the momentum, I slammed the glass or the bottle down on the glass that covered the coffee table, the bedside table, and it just fucking.
Broke, shattered everywhere, and oh fuck.
You're gonna charge this.
Twelve nd putting down a deposit, which was one hundred dollars. I was like, oh man, she's definitely not getting that back. And she comes out of the shower, I said, still with the ut. I'm sorry, honey, but I tell her about the table and she's like, I don't want to go on that tour. I have a UTI and I just started my period. It's just like her first period. And however, you know why.
It's because you blasted her in the face.
That's I started this whole thing off. I should have never said yes to Sonic.
It's the damn Sonic.
It was damn And so we're hungry and there's this fancy ass restaurant down past the lobby and it's it's where they filmed the Dumb and Dumber scenes.
Nice.
So we're thinking, yeah, we can get room service, and you pull it up online and to look at the menu. They've got the number right on the phone programmed to call into the restaurant. And so I'm just kind of perusing the menu. It's got like lamb chops, prime rib scallions with oyster and cheap well, I mean, the appetisers were damn near thirty bucks. The entrees were you know, up in the you know, low double digits for the
high double digits. And I offered to pay since she paid for the room, and I, uh, I was like looking at the menu, going, oh, it's like two tanks of gas right there for this fucking.
Day, but we're going to do it.
And uh I see there's no room service on on their menu. And we're still thinking, all right, I could we could just put in order I can go down there. So she ends up. When I get in the shower to get ready to go down there, she calls and she gets hung up on and she tries to call again and it just sends her to a voicemail. This place is supposed to close at nine. This is like ten to eight, so you know we're getting close to the kitchen want to shut down. But you figure you know,
got over an hour. And I go down there and the guy tending the bar tells me the kitchen still open. He hands me a menu and I'm like, all right, So I start looking and I don't remember who called who first. Yeah, And so in the meantime, this woman had squeezed in between me and the guy next to me, and she said, so, the kitchen's not open. The bartender said, oh, yeah, you know, they take an order till ten till nine, and so she said, well, the hostess just told me
that you guys aren't serving food. So he says, oh, well, they would know more than me, and he takes the menu from me and he hands me. I ordered a beer to drink while I waited for the food, and so I call her and I'm like, do you want anything for dessert? They don't have food, and he tells me, yeah, you could probably get Dominoes right now. Everything else around here is closed. And so I called her and said, how do you feel about pizza? And so she orders one.
It's there. I passed the delivery guy in the hallway. Best Dominoes I.
Ever ate Dominoes in a six hundred dollar hotel room.
I was gonna say, and and probably good thing. It's Dominoes and not the uh you know one hundred, Well it's a dollar debtor.
We look online out of curiosity in that place got horrible reviews and oh yeah, I mean the hotel itself. You know, until you get into the room, it's sweet looking, right, I mean it's a racket what they're doing. Nobody I take a picture in front like Julia's brother didn't.
We didn't even get haunted. I didn't get molested by a ghost.
Nothing.
Nothing happened in Janet. And guess what they had watery ass fucking dial fucking soap in a fucking body wash thing. And they had no coffee, mate.
They had the coffee was the little plastic packets like at a nursing house.
Oh yeah, it's.
Like they had a curriic with like basic ass bitch coffee and then great value coffee.
And you know what. They spend like a lot of money, like in the lobby area and then there it.
Looks like they left a classic but they redid all the rooms to look like a Laquenta in.
Yeah, it was so terrible, Janet. And the thing is too, I'm sitting there with the period Uti Dominoes and a fucking headache, and I'm like, we should watch the Shining since we're here they have one, they have two things available that are worth watching. A fucking never ending repeating commercials saying all the accommodations of the Stanley and Harry Potter Part six. That's it. You can't get the Shining. They don't have the Shining anywhere.
To ren Just crazy, right, you would think during we.
Have one channel that just played it, Looe, like you should at least be able.
To rent it.
Dumb and dumbers, at least.
I was so pissed off. And then Kolbe didn't even want to give it up.
Okay, I did want to, but as soon as she told me she had a ut, like I had.
Half a bottle of wine at that point.
At the end of the night, we were like, yeah, we can't have sex tonight, and then.
Six hundred dollars hotel room and he wouldn't put out left empty handed.
Literally we accidentally had sex in my mom's bed instead. Mom, I'm sorry twice. Oh damn no, we didn't. That was a joke. Wake we went and so in the morning we woke up and I did a little inside beetlejuice joke. I said, I don't think we survived the crash. I think this is purgatory. We can't get out of here. And I was like, let's just shower and get the fuck out of here.
And we did.
And I went and I warned the cleaning lady. I felt like I had to do that because I put a lot of the big pieces of glass in the garbage. I walked up to her and she looked at me like I was gonna assault her, and I said, we're just checking out. I just want to work red realm. She looked at me like I was blonde five year old twins. I said, just don't reach into that garbage. A can in that room we just came out of. There's fucking big pieces of glass.
And she's like, oh okay, we like it, Kinky. We liked each other.
That's how you get ut.
I sup jets are bloody too.
I actually just this is a follow up from our pc O S episode. Janet. I found out why, like, and I haven't even told you this yet. I found out why I've been having an issue with the UTI. You know what they put me on for my PCOS. They put me on spiran a lactone and one of the main side effects is UTIs, I don't even what it's called. Spirt yes lactone.
Is that like spearleina mixed with milk.
No, I wish it was. It's terrible. And actually it's supposed to be an anti androgen, right, and it's supposed to help you with acne and not produce as much testosterone and whatever main side effect. Uti. So all you ladies out there that listen to our PCOS episode and think that there's a gear out there, it's not talking speir on a lactone.
And also, don't not stop at the gas station if you have to pee just a little bit.
Hey, I almost got molested by an Indian guy at a gas station. That was also a fun part part of our trip.
There's lots of fun parts.
But we but it's all part of.
The store, lest we please. No, I'm kidding.
He wouldn't last night, but this fucking guy, like the bathrooms were all closed down for maintenance, so he like, let's do this. And when she says Indian, like from India, Like this whole establishment was owned by a family in.
The middle of nowhere in Wyoming.
Yeah, I don't remember if we were in Kansas of Wyoming. Probably Mormon Colorado or Wyoming. It's probably right though.
It was Wyoming and Mormons.
Well they had a little family run business. It was I'm sure that sure they do well. There was like nowhere else to stop for miles, and we went in there and the sky lets her into this other bathroom, but it was a shower room and I just stood there and then another guy tried to get in there, and he like starts pounding on the door, and then I was kind of getting ready to go over there and be like, hey there's someone in there. Man off.
And then the other guy that let her in it came and said, hey, there's someone in there.
He still kept beating on the door.
No, that was he beat on it a few times, and then that guy stopped him.
But anyway, pants down in a truck stop with the UTI and a fucking guy banging on the door. I'm telling you didn't. But it's like I said, all part of the story. I actually told him that, or you told me that. You said, if this would have been a great experience, we wouldn't.
Even really well, just right off the bat. We're thrown into this disappointing, potentially stress induceding scenario on our second night together, and we didn't fight once. She got a little irritated with me when I shut her down.
I was gonna say, because she wouldn't give it up.
Yeah, he wouldn't give it up. That's okay, he's made up for it.
But I mean we talked about it when you hadn't had wine yet and you're like, yeah, it's not a good to have sex today.
But then the wine got in there and was like, you know, maybe it is a good idea.
Changing her mind.
Yeah, I was on I was feeling the azo at that point, and I was like.
Ah, well, we did make it out of there. Obviously, stopped at my mom's and left left her house in the evening and drove till like five in the morning to get here. And then I didn't pay my power bill. So we get we get back to the house and the.
Powers off, no electric.
I mean, another reason we could have got story.
I thought it was hilarious we got and I was like, at least we had heat because that's on the gas. But I was like, oh, there's.
No I paid that bill. You pay the gas in the winter and you pay the electricity in the summer.
Right.
It's good though that you guys like had such a memorable experience on your road trip, though, because those are stories that you guys are going to remember forever and can tell why when he gets older.
Mm hmmm. I mean, and it's like it's like I said before, we did kind of we're moving at our own pace here, but like I'm projecting a little bit onto him, like some of my past stuff, which is kind of yeah, I mean, like I think it's inevitable. I mean, it's hard not to. And we're still learning how to like be normal together. But the thing is it is like, really.
We're learning to communicate because we both come from very different places. I've been around the block, you know, a lot of relationships. I've been in some good ones, I've been in some bad ones, right, and I always walk away with the same thing, like, if you can communicate, that's key to then you find out if it's going to work or not. Right, And a lot of people are scared to go there. I mean we had to talk the other night that kind of got a little
and turned down the wrong way. But you know, we moulded over the next day, and that's something that for me is really important because you know, if you just have a knockdown drag out and then you both shut down and you can't talk about it, you can't talk about it in that moment, you have to talk about it later. And you know, we we've been doing a really good job of just like saying like how this is affecting both of us.
Right, which is important, and being able to be like vulnerable with each other, and like this is how like I feel in this situation, or this is why I feel this way. You know, being able to share those things, it's going to improve your communication like a thousandfold.
Well, I feel like we communicate better already than the relationships I've been in the past, just because we share so much common ground, right, and we could always bring it there.
And I actually think I'm learning a lot by being with Colby, because I think this is like one of probably the only healthy relationship.
I've ever been in, right.
I Mean, he's older than I am, so maybe he's been in like healthy relationships that maybe it just didn't work out, But like I've only kind of been in toxic relationships. I kind of blame my dad for that. Like I've never seen like what a functioning marriage should look like, like a functioning relationship. Like I've only ever seen like really deadbeat or like bad husbands or like
bad relationships and like how they work. And I'm always thinking to myself, Well, if it was me, like it wouldn't I wouldn't be like that, or I would do this, or but when you're in an actual healthy relationship, like
he's very patient with me. Actually I feel like I've been learning a lot for But I'm just saying, like I think in a way, it's like I said at the beginning of the episode, like everything has happened kind of like in the perfect timing for all of this, like I would maybe I wouldn't have been ready to like receive this type of relationship even like a year
ago or two years ago. But I actually want to be in love and like have a healthy relationship and like learn to communicate and like learn to work hard for the things that I want and not just be like it's easier to just be complacent in this terrible toxic relationship as long as I don't have to like be stressed out, you know what, I mean, like I stayed so long, just go it, like buy the motions or whatever they say, absolutely, like I really want this
and I really love him, and so it's just totally different. Sometimes I feel kind of crazy because like he can, he pays attention to things like I would never like he'll be like, oh, well, this, this, this, you don't you want to say this, but you won't or something like that, and I'm like, Jesus Christ, I've never had anyone pay that much attention to me. It's crazy.
It's just you know what. I think. That's a beautiful thing though, that that you can learn from each other and grow together in the relationship, because that is a solid foundation moving forward, you know, both learning like your love languages and how to you know, communicate. You know, how things in your past affected maybe the way you are now and the way you perceive things, but how being in something healthy change that.
Janet, what's your love language?
Mine is actually acts of service?
Mm hmm, just the one.
Greg's the Greg's the exact same way. I'm not into gifts. That's not a thing for me now. I like giving gifts to other people. I don't like to receive gifts, But giving. Giving gifts is nah physical touches. I mean, I'm a hugger, you know, but I don't require you know, like we're we're in such close proximity to each other all the time, I don't always have to be like touching on him. Yeah, and he's he's the same way, So both of us are kind of kind of just like acts of service is our main thing.
So well, that's good that you have the same one. And I know a lot of people think that's bullshit, but I actually think there's something to it, because like my X was gifts and I didn't know what the fuck how how do you? That's like the shittiest fucking love language to have. Is like I can tell you I love you, I can touch you, I can like be there for you. I can do all this stuff
for you. I can clean the dishes and clean the house and like all this stuff, but you don't feel like I love you unless I buy you stuff, right, And that was really hard for me to understand because like he was always like, well, I have this wish list of stuff, you know, I want you to get me for my birthday or for Christmas or whatever, And like if I didn't get stuff off of that list or like the whole list, or he was like I just feel like you know, and maybe he was just
a dick. I don't know, and he'll never know what he is.
He is absolutely a narcissist and all about materialistic things like Greg. Greg and I are so like on the same page about everything, like don't require words of affirmation all the time, like none of that stuff because he does things for me all the time. I do things for him all the time, and and just by doing and whatever, that other stuff doesn't matter.
Yeah, I mean, like get the gift giving love language is like the hardest one for me to understand because like I'd rather have like experiences like you take me to go do something or like we just sit together and like talk or do something like that together, Yeah, than to have a gift like that.
Just insane.
But you know, I'm a needy bitch and you don't maybe know this about me yet, but I'm.
Like a split between.
Real words of affirmation and I love physical touch.
I don't know that about you.
Maybe you do. I don't know. He's very observant, but I love physical touch and I love words of affirmation. I show this is interesting because I will show love by acts of service, like cleaning the dishes and like making sure the house is clean and making the bed and stuff.
Like she's been making me lunches to tick to work.
Yeah, that's how I show up.
I usually just don't eat.
I'm getting hungry now and I'm like, oh fuck, Julia put in like this nice meal for me, in this contact. And I've never had that since my mom, my mom, even when I like moved back from college and rented a room out in my mom's house when I was painting, she would always make me a lunch. And then my boss is getting sonic farts and I got a nice sandwich from Mom. Yeah.
But like I receive love by words of affirmation and physical touch, but I return love by acts of service, I think. And it changed my hands off of him.
Well, we're both into physical touch and acts of service and words of information. I don't know. I think I just assumed that everybody likes that to receive m But it's hard to do if it's not your style.
Yeah, and see we're not. We're not that way. But I think a lot of people's like love languages come from whatever their upbringing was and whatever. They're like things that they were missing whatever. Yeah, because used to be like for me before I ever met Greg, it was physical touch, words of affirmation, you know, all of the things, like pretty much. I wanted all of it because I
was missing all of that. And then and then when I met him, that all changed because he was doing all the things until I got to the point where I was so uh comforted and felt safe in the relationship that I don't need you to tell me I love you every five seconds. I don't need you to like paw on me or you know, all of that stuff.
And I think both best were that way because his relationship when he was married was like she was very controlling and you know, like ice queenish and all of those things, and so it was learning curve for him too, and so his love language also changed when we got together.
I think we should all add a love language though, and that's conspiracy talk. I receive love and I give
love by conspiracy talk. Actually, Colby, and this is exciting for me, has agreed to do my next mini series with me, and I'm very stoked on that because, like I said, I've had to hide this part of myself for so long, and it feels so good to share it with someone, right, And Colby has so much to offer, and he's so modest, and he has like such a set of standards, and I just want to shared that with everyone, Like I want.
To be modest.
You are, yeah, you are.
You're modest and I'm confident, yes, but you're modest, And so I want to share him, like with a wider She's.
Already like Disinfrobation like basically goes from anywhere from like twenty to eighty listeners. I've never I don't think we've ever like broke through Triple digits. But Dusty and I do that show because it's.
Therapy, because it's funny.
It's also I mean, I had more fun doing that show than anything I've ever like any project I've ever put my heart into. And it's so weird because we just mic up and talk shit, right, and you never know what we're going to talk about and cool, well it is. That's my passion. But Disinfrobation I found somebody, Dusty shout out to Dusty he he and I like, I'm fucked up.
I think you guys are literally brothers.
Oh we are? Yeah, like that guy. I hope he comes to the wedding. Yeah, I mean that guy. He has pushed me in ways that I didn't know I could be pushed, and I think I've done the same thing for him. Like he's a comedic genius.
Dusty's funny, just sorry, just.
Being Dusty, like if he just says something that would sound ordinary from another guy, just the way, and then like the ship he puts into the show, like he's needed somebody like me to like grab him and like I can like turn his little rants into commercials and stuff.
That's what I think is the funniest because you guys, I swear you could make a fortune, like doing your own advertising company. But like how people really want to say stuff, yeah, like blud light stuff or whatever.
Because I told Brian he's absolutely a comedic genie. I cannot be with someone who doesn't have like an excellent sense of humor. And it's just you know, I started featuring disinfo based Yeah, that's.
What the whole reason I was talking about this because I wanted to give Julia props because she's featuring disinfrobation for her Patreon listeners, and so we're getting listens. Probably that we've never gotten before, or at least people can check it out. I mean, she's had a lot of negative feedback about it, but we kind of try to weed out the pussy's on that show. Yeah, and political people. We're gonna talk shit about fucking every politician, anybody, anybody
that likes somebody out there. Like people assumed we were all maga and shit when we started the show because that was what Biden in that administration was what was easy to talk shit about. But then by episode three, actually we did get triple digits at first, and then all the maga people were like, fuck these guys to Trump, yeah, or we make fun of everybody. But so she's had some people on her Patreon feed that are like, well, they're making fun of Jesus Trump. Well.
The thing is, though, and I what I don't understand is I've said on my show before, and I don't know if they just assume or they associate me with some type of political party, but I've said on my show before that I can't believe people put so much.
Sha thinks that they're all pedophiles.
I do, and I think, well, yeah, and I said, I can't believe people are putting their blind faith into someone, whether it be Trump or whoever, when it should be allocated to much more worthy Uh, Like, what did I say? I said it in the Pedaphocracy. I said there are much more worthy places to put your trust in, like Jesus. But that's just me. But anyways, I mean, I just can't believe they would think that I had an association like that because I don't. I'm I'm well, you.
Don't talk about it, so if you don't open up politically, a lot of people are going to like what you're saying and just assume that Because.
I love Jesus, therefore I like Trump kind of thing, like they would have just Hilario together, and is it, Janet, you know how it is. But anyways, I think Colby has so much to offer, and I'm like, I want selfishly to keep him all for myself, but I also want to share him with my audience, and I think him working on this new series with me.
And I'm reluctant to do it because I know that I'm abrasive and I'm very have strong opinions and I don't know, like when I like.
Your style of communication though, because you you're like me, I don't have a filter, and I just say what I want to say and if you like it, fine, If you don't like it, I really could care less. But I love your your honesty, Yeah, I love that about you.
Well. I think that's that's to me, my favorite quality in people. So I strive to be that. Like even when I feel like certain people in the podcast community are full of shit, I feel like a calling to call it out. And I have lost a lot of people by talking.
Show and I don't really care.
But you know, like, if I'm wrong, fuck me, if you would disagree with me that strongly, that if I fucking blast Sam Tripoli or whoever else on my podcast, and I actually listen to Sam. I think he's got a good show, but I know that they're Charlatans among us, and I'm not. I'm not calling him out in particular as being that I just if I say anything about certain golden calves among us, I get ostracized, and I
will say that. You know, if that's where you stand, and that's your line in the sand, then I'm happy to push you over.
That edge because I like being on the fringe. Though I don't like being on that er. Circle with that, because I think it's disingenuous.
Yeah, and that to me is like I said, honesty is my favorite quality, so obviously the opposite of that is my least. And I listen to a lot of shows for the guests and just to check out what's big in the conspiracy scene. So I listen to shows where I can't stand the people that host the shows. It's I mean, and I can do that, it doesn't I mean, yeah, a lot of times just rolling my eyes. But I've gotten so much good stuff out of people's shows.
I mean, there's great guests, even dipshits bring up really good points something. But that's what.
I was trying to say though, is like, even though the hosts may be disingenuous, like the podcasting world is becoming more narrow and like the common, everyday average person who listens to these bigger shows, whether or not you like the host or you agree with what they're doing, they're reaching people, and I, at the end of the day,
just want people to learn shit right. And it just makes my fucking day when somebody reaches out to me and they're like, I've listened to your show for a long time, but I shared it with one of my friends and they were just like mind blown. They couldn't believe it, and they just you know, they like that makes it worth it to me because I get crucified on Instagram, Like they send me messages telling me I'm I'm like, you're so retarded. I can't believe you believe that. Yeah,
you do this, you say that you're the that. But at the end of the day, like the five or six people a month, the new listeners that like come over to my show and they learn something, I just want to be This sounds stupid, and I'm not. I don't have like a complex or anything. I just want to be like some type of like vehicle or like vessel for people to learn shit through.
There's nothing wrong with that that right there, that doesn't as.
Savior complex, just because like you have a calling to wake people to fuck upright, And I mean, honestly, I wanted to say this earlier, but first and foremost with Julia, I was a fan of her show, Like I wanted to work with her because I thought she was putting a very unique spin on like a lot of topics we've all talked about to death. I learned stuff on her show, and so I was like, yeah, let's talk to Kubrick and I Laurel. Yeah, I reached out through
Davy Wavey. I ended up actually finally working with her through Nick, two people I love very much. And I talk about genuine people in the in the scene like you might have your gripes with those two people I just named a lot of people do. It's because they're really not not you just anybody listening. I mean, those are two real motherfuckers, and they they have butted heads with a lot of us and I'm not me, but a lot of people in the cot.
But they're they're the same way. They're both exactly very like speak your mind, no bullshit, no sugarcoating kind of people. Those are the kind of people that I am most gravitated toward.
And if we're not listing you, there's a lot of you out there, and I'm sure you know who you are, but.
Yeah, yeah, well, and I have to say, like I got a lot of hate when I went the first and the second time on Tinfoil Hat, and I will say that a lot of people have a problem with Sam and I get it, but it's like I said before,
if I can reach a wider audience. Then Sam has just become a vehicle for me to reach more people because whether or not I agree with what he's done or said or doing or whatever, he reaches so many people, right, And there's so many other great podcasters out there who are genuine who are trying to actually make a difference and get people to wake up and to realize certain things, and they don't get the light of day and they don't get invited on bigger shows or whatever.
Yeah, Julia just had someone reach out to her and they're like, yeah, we're just starting. You probably won't even answer this email, and she's going to do a show with them.
Yeah.
That's the kind of people that that I love, you know.
And how many people have you brought into this world? Just yeah, And it's like.
You get to make the discovery of that person who will eventually probably become something. But like for me, let's say, both of the times I went on Tinfoil Hat, I got like one hundred new people that had never heard me before listen to my show and they go over to my show and they find Colby and Drew missing from your Missing the Point podcast, or they find you or they find someone that they never would have heard before, but they've found them through me. From going on tinfoil hat.
Sam is like a vehicle for me to project a more important message through well.
And you know, I don't want to say I dislike anybody, but certain people that leave a negative taste in other people's mouths for whatever reason, Like they've been in this scene for years and made it possible for us to have a show, right. I mean that's hard to overlook no matter who it is, Like fuck Joe Rogan, but he made it possible for all of us. I mean, whatever you want to say about that guy and what
he believes in dragons, he believes whatever he thinks. He's going to be the best for you show.
I found a really cool conspiracy actually the other day where they let's just say all the dinosaur bones are real. Let's just pretend for a second that the dinosaur bones are real. They said, you know how like the t rex has like the tiny arms or whatever, and it doesn't make sense, but like think about it, what sense would it make for some for a creature that large to have those little, anybody useless arms like that? And
they said, if you actually look at the skeleton. Those are like the same type of bones that the fucking pterodactyls have, and those anybody arms were probably like a part of a fucking wing in that in that t rexes actually were like dragons and like had wings and shit.
So maybe that's what's wrong with me. Maybe I was meant to have wings.
You were definitely meant dragon. Definitely meant to be a dragon. It should be called the deplorable Dragon, Janet.
That's right, fast, Joe approve.
But anyways, I say all that to say I think, at the end of the day, what your personal intentions are and what your personal like, whether or not you're a genuine person or not, will come through in your work, and it will come through in the amount of people that the live that you touch out there, because it's not about me at the end of the day. And actually, when I first started podcasting, I didn't do any video and I didn't post any pictures of myself because I
didn't want it to be about my appearance. I didn't want it to be.
About but.
I just want people to learn shit when they listen to my podcast, and it not be about anything other than that. And so that's what I told COLBYA. I said, you have so much to share, and I would love it if you'd work on this new series with me because he has so much to add to it. A lot of the times I learned stuff from him, and then I repeated on my show, she.
Only shouts me out half the time.
Yeah.
No, I did the same thing. I was recording like a five hour long podcast with Project Cheney and Phil Zazarro, and I was like quoting shit. I learned from her left and right. And then later on I was like, fuck, I should have dropped your name.
Yeah you do.
Oh, I know. But when I was editing it back, I was like that I definitely learned that from your show or a conversation we had.
But you know, it's like the Jim Carrey thing. When I put out my series on Jim Carrey and nobody else was really talking about it. It's kind of a dead topic. And then the other day you said you heard a podcast as somebody saying that Jim Carrey is like playing Yeah, it was Roles.
It is flat earther on a cult of conspiracy. He he blew my mind, Like, I definitely would like to get that guy.
On because I mean said about, oh he's so he was.
A theory I love is that there's actors out there that we know as themselves, like Brad Patter, Jim Carrey, but they're also masking up and playing many other roles or politicians.
Even I was just thinking politicians lately.
Definitely, one of his things he said was that Jim Morrison became Rush Limbaugh. And I'm a huge fan of the theory that Bill Hicks became Alex Jones. I thought it was laughable at first, but I've since been convinced it's plausible. So this guy's dropping other stuff I've never heard. And he starts talking about Jim Carrey and how he thinks the return of Christ might be faked and that
Jim Carrey will do it. And he talked about this part at the end of the documentary Jim and Andy, which was recapping how Jim Carrey became Andy Kaufman during the shooting of The Man on the Moon And do you know about that, Janet, Like, Jim Carrey lost his mind playing Andy Kaufman, and he pretty much channeled him from what other people say. Andy Kaufman's parents came onto the set this movie and had conversations with Andy Kaufman
that they said Jim Carrey wouldn't have known. And at the end of this movie, he just says, I could do this with anybody, and he says I could become Jesus and then he just looks at the camera. And so this guy thinks that Jim Carey might come back as Christ was next big role because a lot of people are convinced that he was Biden at least some of the time. And anyway, so the.
Real Biden maybe because the came.
Out after he withdrew running again, And I mean, who knows.
But I say all that to say this is interesting shit and fucking conspiracy talk is one of my love languages.
It's my top level. I've driven many people away using it, including my son's mom.
Well, I would have gladly put her in a clab and drove her away myself, but that's beside the point. Sorry, Ashley, I'm not posting this so talking go for it. So anyway, I want to say a huge thank you to both of you for coming on and sharing and being vulnerable and you know, talking about the challenges that you eyes are facing as a new couple in a new living situation.
And far between. It's it's it's it's really been great all said and done, like this is you know, like I said, I just said, I'm just going to be a dad unless something falls in my lap.
And it did, and she did fall in your lap.
Yeah, I mean she dove into it, but I mean I was very receptive.
So you know, I love him so much, Janet. He's like the sweetest sweetie ever he.
Is, and and I love the two of you together. I think it's wonderful and I'm blessed and honored to know both of you and to be able to share in this part of your journey together because I love it so much.
Well, I think I can speak for both of us, but we always have held you in high Well.
I was like, when are we going to tell Janet? And you know why I left you hanging? Janet, I didn't interject when you were talking about that I left you hanging, And then she texted you. We decided to tell you together and left and then she makes me look at the asshole and texts you and tells you and I wasn't mad. Well, you know we're not doing this together now, I guess and then you and I started texting you right after she told you.
So whatever anybody may think, like, I'm glad that we got our story out there into the open too, because we're both like people know about all of us, you know, in our personal lives. We talk about it on our shows, and it's good to clear some I only talk.
About my personal ship when I come on Janet show.
Still, I love doing it good to be honest and open about it too, because I mean a lot of people, especially on my end, because like I've shared, you know, my story on your show and other shows. I've talked about my life on my own show, and this is just kind of like the next chapter in both of our lives, and I think it's important to just be open and honest about that because it affects not only our shows. But I don't want people getting the wrong idea about like how this came to be either.
Right, I was gonna say, people are gonna people, right, They're gonna do and say and think what they want to regardless of what you say. All I can say is I have had a front row seat to this, and I'm thankful for that and for the people out there that are going to be haters. You're gonna hate just because you're being miserable in your own life, and so sorry to put it that way, but it's true. If you if you can't do anything but hate on somebody else, then maybe you should look in the mirror.
Yeah, their love language is hater ass bitch.
We've added two new love languages on one.
Episode, bitch and yeah, and shout out to Sonic, who is squonsoring the show.
Today for everybody.
Yeah, I'm gonna say, and depends because sometimes you know you may need them after.
When when you want to front your girlfriend's face and not ship on her. It depends.
It depends whether or not you've eaten Sonic exactly.
So guys, thanks for joining me for another episode. Thanks everybody for listening. I love you both dearly and for me, Julia. Get to see you guys next time. Alabama ARKit sas I love my MoMA, not the way I do love you holding holding real bye Yode the apple of my eye.
Girl loves that A loved one like.
Laying O many on my death Man, I'm dreaming too. Nothing next day Nothing The Hot and Heavy Pumpkin pie chopping candy Jesus Christ Trade.
Does it please be morning?
Let me go this week, let me go