We’re Back, Aunties

Well, howdy, y'all. Or should I say, hi, aunties. Oh, aunties. Oh, we're back.

We've missed y'all. It's way too long. It's been way too long. Life kind of happened. Yeah. I was very busy hiding a pregnancy. You took a whole maternity leave. I want that kind of maternity leave. Well, it really wasn't maternity leave because of hunting season. So, yeah. Anyways, last time we chatted, I was literally about to have a baby. We were just being very secretive about it because I didn't want the peoples to know.

Yeah, that's always, I mean, I don't like when people don't find out that, well, I guess it's cool for other people, but I could never go without like finding out the gender. Oh, yeah, no. Michelle did that and I don't know how she did it. Keeping your pregnancy like a whole secret from everybody. I think that's pretty cool. I think the whole thing behind mine, at least, was that obviously I'd never wanted children and I knew I was going to get a lot of shit for that.

And obviously we can talk about that. So I definitely, you know, I've said that for, you know, since everyone's ever known me and ever since the podcast started, people have known that. Obviously changed my mind. Yeah. Well, when the right person comes along. Well, that part is, it had a lot to do with Hans. Yeah. So, thank God for him. But also... I just didn't want anything tainted. Like, I didn't want my experience tainted because even just the few people who knew, people always do the like,

oh, well, just wait for this. Yeah. And like can make it like a negative experience. And I was like, I just want to kind of enjoy this. And I thankfully did have like a good pregnancy up until three weeks prior to the, obviously having him three weeks early. So yeah, I just, I don't know. But anyways, I have a little boy. His name's Truett. He is the cutest chonk. He is definitely a chonk. He's a chonky monkey. I love him. Yeah, he is a ham. He also is known as RJ, which is Robin Jr.

Like, he is literally me. And I couldn't be happier about that. Hans definitely has a feeling about that. He definitely has some feelings about that because the two of us, it's like our powers combined. Especially late at night. He says it's crazy hours, like, times two, because me and Trude will just get to go in, and Hans is like, please shut up. Just go to sleep. Please go to sleep. Yeah, like, first thing in the morning, he'll, like, roll over and wake up.

He's like, hey, good morning, just like I am. Hans is like, this is my nightmare. So, anyways. He's such a happy baby. He is the happiest baby. So, yeah, obviously this won't turn into a pure parenting podcast, but there will be bits and pieces because I'm obsessed with him. Like, you know, I'm truly obsessed with him. Having a baby... Obviously, you're one of the few people that said that you knew that I'd always end up being, like, a parent. And I, like, the best thing on earth.

Yeah. There's no words, I feel like, that can really explain it till you're in it. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, I always knew one way or the other. Because, I mean, you had kind of tossed around, even before meeting Hans, like, you've, I think it's just, you're almost, like, giving heart.

Like you had talked about adopting and then everybody I feel like a lot of your friends that have kids they're like if anything happens to me you're getting my kid oh yeah and I better still be because like I plan on taking care of them yeah so I always knew one way or the other that you would end up being a mom just because I think that, you're a good one. Well, thank you. And I was like, but I also have learned from the best.

So that's one of the biggest blessings because I don't know is like I was having this conversation with. So now obviously being in the middle of nowhere, Kansas, I did have a really nice blessing of one of the strange Facebook groups up there. Some girls that were going to the local college, they're actually from Fort Worth, Texas. Yeah. And they were looking for work and I poached them as soon as I could. And so they helped us with like hunting season. They've helped us with Truett.

There's like four of them. They're all the sweetest girls on earth. But it's funny because they all had young parents. Like one of them, their mom was like 14 when she had them. And we've all talked about the differences of like having kids like at such a young age and like the parent you are then versus now and about the differences of, like, what you can give your child. Yeah. And it's been very interesting to hear it from, like, their perspective as the child as well.

And so it's really opened my eyes to a lot. But, yeah, I was like, there's a lot of what age you have a baby. Your first kid is the test kid because you're learning. Oh, we're definitely learning. Yeah, with raising that kid. I feel like we, every single day, Hans and I are like, what is this? Yeah. And also, like, I obviously, like, Thought that there was a lot of things I'd be really, really good at and really, really, like, need help at. Some of those have changed. Some of them have not.

I still, there's times that he'll have, like, a dirty diaper, a blowout. I'm like Hans. And thank God he is so good with it. Because there's times where my nose says, absolutely not. You're going to throw up in the next three seconds. And so, yeah, I think, especially in the past month, we've probably had a blowout. At least, like, every other day. It just happens sometimes. And I always, like, here's the thing.

One thing about this is I will admit there's a lot that I was wrong about being a parent, and I have been humbled time and time again because I'm like, there's just, like, little things like blowouts. I was like, well, why are they just not putting on, like, the diaper right or, like, the right size or, like, whatever? Sometimes it literally doesn't matter. Like, I was like, there has to be things you can do to avoid that. Yeah. No. So sometimes it's going to happen.

There were blowouts and I'm like, were you standing on your head when you took a shit? No, literally. Literally, how is it up your neck right now? Literally, like, why is it at your feet? How did it get in the sock? I don't understand. Yeah, so there's just a lot of stuff that I obviously I will admit to. Yeah. I also have had to humble myself with Hans multiple times and apologize to him for things, which he loves more than anything because he knows how much I hate being wrong about stuff.

So, yeah, I was like, there's just so much. So, yeah, but anyways, in the past year, what else has happened? Oh, yeah. I think my biggest thing, so I had Truett in July, 7-Eleven was his birthday. Then we moved immediately into harvest and hunting season, then the holidays, and now we're here. So, I don't, that's basically been my life. Just doing all the things. And you're renovating two houses. Yes, renovating our house, renovating our Airbnb, potentially starting another one.

So, I know when I came up after you had Truett, y'all were like looking like house hunting for another one. And there's, for as bumfucked as Kansas is, there's some really cute houses up there. Okay, so first, let's talk about that. So, first of all, we won't have to get into like the trauma of it all, but like... It was very traumatic because I ended up having Truett three weeks early. And it was very, very, very sudden. Yeah. Like, I was in a swimsuit.

Yeah, very unexpected. I was in a swimsuit. Yeah. So, I ended up having Truett three weeks early. And Monica basically, Monica was the only one that, like, knew what was going on. And so, as soon as that happened, she basically packed a bag and came to Kansas. Which was, first of all, crazy. because, like, thank God for you, because I literally don't think I could have gotten through those first, like, two to three days. Yeah, you had to shower.

You had to take a shower. Yeah, like, little things. But you got to experience Kansas, too. Yeah. Like, not, like, obviously where we got married was completely different. That was, like, civilized. Yeah, that was. Civilization. And then you came to Pratt. Mm-hmm. Which Pratt is, Pratt is still better than, like, St. John, where, like, we actually live. But it's... It does. Yeah. So Monica had a true... Frozen in time. ...experience, yeah, where she was like, wait, what?

You're like, drove me around, and there's, like, a power plant thing, and you're like, when they switch this on, like, this whole square block, like, vibrates. Vibrates. Yeah. Just normal things. Yeah. So, but then you also saw... It's fucking Chernobyl as well. But you also got to see, like, the way people dress and stuff out there. It's literally, like, 20 years ago. Yeah. It's like there's a massive gap in time.

Yeah. I remember going to the grocery store that morning to get stuff to make y'all some food because I, like, showed up and there was literally nothing in that fridge. We had no, we were not prepared for anything, obviously. And I like, I was wearing like sweatpants and like a, not like a midriff because I'm not that kind of woman. But you could see like a little bit of my not that kind of woman. And I feel like the looks, like a fucking trollop just walked into.

Trollop, I love that so much. You were definitely a trollop. But no, that's the thing, and like, and I used to ask Hans that all the time, whenever I first started going up there, I was like, I know I'm not the best-looking human on Earth, but, like, I know for a fact everyone is staring at me. Like, everyone is staring at me. Like, why? Yeah. And then all the softball girls and, like, volleyball girls, the girls from, like, the college that have been helping us, they said the same thing.

They were like, why does everyone up here stare? I was like, I don't know. And they don't make it not obvious. That's why I know. I can say this, like, very validly. Like, they make it very obvious that they're staring at you. So, yeah. Like, I didn't feel like anybody was being rude. But, yeah, it's like an alien. It's like you're an alien. Yeah. They're just like, what is that? A human in a modern outfit? So, yeah. So, you got to experience Kansas. Yeah.

So, yeah. But, no, you were an absolute godsend with that the first couple days. Because, first of all, we didn't know what we were doing. So, still don't really. but yeah that was much much needed yeah i'm so glad that i got to come and hold that little nugget who literally used to just fit right here i know i have like a picture and i'm just holding him with one hand and now my god he was like even three hands back brace yeah he's large which is going to be a big one.

The first, obviously, again, we promise this won't turn into like just parenting and talking about Truett, but, you know, got to guess. Who cares? We're going to talk about that, baby. Okay. The first poop. Okay. I don't like talking about that in general. But my gosh, if it was not like liquid magma coming out of his body. And thank God, even while Monica was there, she was like, I've got it. Like, not a big deal because I just didn't know what I was doing.

And we were just scrambling. Like, we had four hands between us and a baby. And we're just scrambling, trying to grab, clean, do whatever we could. To take care of this. It's amazing what a baby produces. I know. And I, like, I heard it happen, and I was like, we're gonna give this a little bit and see if, like, he's done. And I thought he was done. And it's like, you know, Hans had been on diaper duty, and then he goes and takes a shower. Yep.

And Truett just lets loose. Yeah, he was like, oh, I'm with the girls now. All right, I think he's done.

So I go and, like, put him on the changing table, open that diaper up, and I was like goo kid yeah and then like almost immediately after i pull the diaper out from underneath more, more comes out and it's like projectile it was terrifying and no one tells you it's like black yeah because i have girls and so i'm not used i mean when i would change their diapers of course there were times where they would like poop on in the middle of it pee while i'm in the middle of it.

I don't have experience with boys so i was like holding his little legs up and then he just starts peeing all over his own face and so i was like robin yeah no it was an absolute mess but here's the thing since that time now also anytime monica has gone to the bathroom with me to help train your diaper true it has also decided to pee yeah every single time on us there we had to where were we had brunch that we literally had to walk him out naked?

We were at Del Frisco's Grill, and we literally had to walk him out of the bathroom naked. Clayton was like, in a diaper. We came out, and he was like, why is that baby naked? We're like, well, because the two of us tried to change his diaper again. But also, like. When you have a kid and you have to, like, utilize changing stations and public places and stuff, like, you realize, like, how poorly designed all this stuff is.

The changing table in that restaurant was literally almost right in front of the door. Monica, I have so much beef with Koala Care and Rubbermaid. I have never been angrier at a company in my life. Tell me why at all these places that I have to change a diaper now, I am basically doing a wall sit while holding my baby so they don't roll on the fucking floor. It is infuriating. I have major beef with Koala Care and Rubbermaid. And I will say that loud and proud. I'm pissed at y'all. Pissed.

Infuriated. Like, the anger that flows through my body when I go somewhere and I pull that thing down and it's slanted downward. What the fuck? Put a, like, leg on it. Like, there's no reason I should be changing my baby with a knee in the air, balancing like a fucking flamingo. Yeah. Every time I put the girls, like, on a changing table, like the fold-down ones, they would flail their arms like they were going to fall. It's like literally.

And that's like one of the two things that they say like babies have a fear of is falling and loud noises. And so the same thing is because Truett's eyes just get so big. And he's like, what's going on? Like, why do I feel like this? Why am I rolling to this side? And then, of course, he's also at the stage now where like he just wants to roll over in general. So he's like, wait, actually, I do want to roll over. And I'm like, please not right now. Your safety, your life is at risk.

Just so I can change your fucking diaper. Oh. Yeah, no, I'm pissed at Koala Care and Rubbermaid, and I would like a personal apology, actually. I would like you to redesign everything and, like... Who is like, yeah, this will solve our, like, literally just put a changing table in there. Like a small little one. Like, they don't need that much space, but please make it sturdy and have legs floating in there. Like, that is a massive liability.

What are y'all thinking? Lily was a baby, and we went with friends to a restaurant in Dallas, and they had zero changing tables in the restrooms downstairs. You had to go upstairs, no elevator. You had to carry a baby upstairs. And change them in a bathroom upstairs. And it's like, I'm pretty sure this is fucking illegal. Like, how did the fire marshal? I'm going to start just doing it at the table and let people look at me like

I'm crazy. Because, like, your child's life is literally at risk half the time. That's insane. Oh, it makes me so angry. The one nice thing, I will say this, is, like, also since we're driving all the time, I've had to figure out places that always have, like, changing tables there. And so the only issue is, like, you have to take 35 for the most part. But Starbucks always has a big bathroom. So, like, Starbucks does come in clutch for that because they have a big bathroom.

They have a changing table. You don't feel like you're being suffocated. Yeah. Like, so I'll give props to Starbucks. Yes. But I just don't understand. That's, yeah, I have beef. Koala Care, Rubbermaid, count your days. Count your days. Count your fucking days. Count them. Because I, there has, like, I would love to talk to an inventor and be like, we can come up with something better.

You have to be able to, like, I'm not even going to give away my ideas because I've thought about it a million times. I have thought about it a million times now. Yeah. Especially while I'm in the bathroom, I think about it. I was like, you could totally do this. Yeah. Ugh, anyways. Okay. there's my beef with that okay that is one thing that I've really needed to get off my chest is like screw them yeah. Anyways, that's my, yeah, I'd say that's probably my one beef as a parent currently.

Everything else I'm pretty chill about. I'm turning 40 this year, and I feel like I'm getting, like, more crotchety by the day. Like, I'm so aggravated about everything now. Okay, tell me your top three aggravated things right now. Oh, God. Will I take a sip of coffee? This coffee is really good. I'm now the person I hate. loudness. Like, I hate when someone's got music, like, blaring.

I don't like, I hate watching the girls, like, love to watch, like, certain shows where I feel like the kids are always screaming. And I'm just like, shut it off. The overstimulation. Yeah. If someone parks in front of my house that does not reside in my house, infuriates. Your neighbors, though, also. I've got two really good neighbors. Yes. And then the others. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I don't see why anyone needs six cars. No. No one needs six cars and a golf cart and whatever else has wheels.

And has a driveway and a garage that are never used. I mean, why? That makes sense. Okay, give me one more. Oh, gosh. What else? What else? Oh, Clayton and I went to Grapevine Mills the other day. I forgot about that place. I know. We are taking the girls on a ski trip, another ski trip for spring break. And, of course, you know, they outgrow their clothes so fast. So we had to go and get new, like, gloves and ski bibs and stuff for them.

So while we were there, because they have a son in ski there, so we were like, let's just see what else they've got around here. Immediate regret. I haven't been to a mall. Oh, same. Well, a mall of that. Size? Not that size, but that, I guess like an indoor outlet. Yeah. Because I'll, like, we'll go to North Park sometimes, and North Park doesn't bother me, but Grapevine Mills was just. Was it just insane? Like, you're packed in there like sardines, and no one has any regard for your

personal space. And I just, I can't deal with crowds anymore. I would love a bubble. I fucking hate people. You know, same though. It's like, we were talking about this on the way here. It's like, I don't know what has happened, but like people just get worse by the day. And I know everyone has their own shit that they're going through, but my gosh. Yeah. Can we all just collectively...

Do things like respect each other's space. Yeah. That's the one thing about, like, COVID that I wish, like, stayed. I want you to stay six feet away from me at all times. Yeah. More than six feet, please. Especially at, like, the grocery store in a line. Yeah. I don't want you coughing on me. I don't want you looking at me that close also because I probably don't have makeup on. I probably just rolled out of bed. Yeah. I just don't want it. It makes me livid. Just for shit in your pants.

Someone's close to you. Perfect. I'll jump right on that. Is it Michelle's mom's, like, defense? No, she didn't. She was like, just shit yourself. So, Mama Blake. Well, yeah, Mama Blake. This is what she said is, so, and I think I've talked about this before, is so, like, Mama Blake-isms and, like, her just, you know, worldly knowledge. Whatever, there was, like, a big, like, crime wave going on in, like, my old apartment area.

And I, like, posted, like, the graph or whatever. She sent me a message, and I'm pretty sure I have it, like, and I think I have it memorized word for word. she says like if you ever feel like you're in danger bark like a dog and defecate on yourself laughing. Okay, yes. No, but I'll bark like a dog. I think you can definitely— The more insane you seem, the less likely you are to be abducted. I think you can definitely out crazy people.

Yeah. I think that, honestly, when people say things that sound insane, you have to say something more insane. Yeah. Just to see if they'll go above you on that. Yeah. Or if they'll be like, oh, wait, no. Oh, never mind. She's too crazy. Yeah. No, that's crazy. So, yeah. No, that's definitely Mama Blake has chef's kiss. I think I've read off a lot of her quotes because anytime I talk to her, I write down what she says. It's literally in my notes app. Well, I remember at your baby shower,

that was the first time that I had, like, met her. Yes. And she was, I was dying. Yes. She was cracking me up. She is a gem. I think she had, like, one cock. I think Michelle would only let her have, like, one cock. She just started going off. Mm-hmm. She was like, don't ever let your husband retire. Like, they just are so annoying. They're always there.

Oh, that's so true, though. It's like, it's just the things that, like, especially women want to say and talk about, because that's one of the things, too, is like, and obviously we can get this. I love my husband. I love Hans more than anything. I love you. There is something about when you have a child, though, and we haven't talked about this, but, like, I know there's times where I'm like, please get away from me. Get away from me. I don't want to see you. I don't want to look at you.

I don't want to smell you. I don't want to hear you. I don't want to hear you breathe. Get away from me. And no one, we definitely need to do an episode about that. No one tells you the negative things about having a baby that affect your relationship. Yeah. Like, no one talks about that. No one says, like, there's going to be a couple days, like, that you're going to hate your husband. That you love more than anything. That you just all of a sudden are like,

I hate you. I can't stand you. Get away from me. Well, that's how I found out I was pregnant with Andy. I was on birth control. And I was being so bitchy. And I like... Just went off one day on Clayton. And he's so calm and patient. And he just looks at me. He goes, I think you're pregnant. He was like, you are being such a bitch. I think you're pregnant. Like, I literally the next day took a pregnancy test. Poof. Yeah.

See, like, there's just so much. I was like, I'm not pregnant. My period's just late. You don't know how this works. That's so true. Well, I just remember whenever you were pregnant with Lily is like, I was just like, I swear you're pregnant. There's something different about you. And you were just like, no, I don't think so. And then I think it was like two or three weeks later, I got a picture. And I was like, I knew it. It's like, I knew it. You look different.

So, but also I can't say who it is, but I have another friend who recently, I was just like, are you sure you're not pregnant? She's like, no, I was like, you just... You have, like, the glow. It's like, there's something different. Like, your just demeanor is different. And she was like, no, I don't think so. And then she is. Yeah, well, it wasn't a glow that you saw with me. I didn't have a glow with either one of my kids.

No, I swear, when you're, when you are pregnant with a girl, I think that they take. I've heard that. Like, everything from you. Like, I. Was it girl steal your beauty or whatever they say? Well, I swear. That's okay, though, because I have beautiful children. They can take it. You really do. Like, the most stunning girls. I do remember my favorite thing about, because you tried to get me back, was that while you were pregnant, we went and got massages one day.

And we were at a jerky store of all places. The things that, like, Fort Worth has had, like, wasn't it in Montgomery Plaza? Montgomery Plaza used to have a jerky store. I think they still do. Do they? I think so, yeah. Shut up. But, I mean, a whole store for beef jerky, bless. I mean, honestly. But they had, like, all different types of jerky, and we were just making inappropriate commentary, and Monica almost peter panted in the Publix.

And so she, ever since then, was like, I'm going to get you back for that because you almost made me pee in Publix. What's even worse, and I feel so bad about this, but when I like came up to Kansas after you had Truett, you're laying in bed. You're obviously full recovery. And we start talking about Don's mom. I don't know what I said, but it made you laugh. And I like I had to have an emergency C-section. And so everything hurt, like hurt, hurt, hurt. And we were like crying laughing.

And I was just like doubled over like in tears. You like literally tears started like streaming. I was just tears were streaming, but I was still laughing. You were like, shut up, take this baby. No i think i did is i was like i'm gonna drop my baby oh dang it what did you say i think i think we were talking about all. Cocks and hot sauce she she loves french country that's so funny because like french country is obviously like all the roosters and stuff.

And so we were talking about, there's just cocks everywhere. But the funniest thing is too, is I literally told Hans, I showed him the other day. So there's like two auction places in Pratt. One's called Ham and the other's Car. And the ham auction place literally had, they were like, you know, we have an auction this Saturday. And it was nothing but cocks. Roosters galore, French country. And I showed it to Hans. He goes, Mom would love this.

Mom sure does love Cox. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's probably what it was. But you have such a good memory. I'm so thankful for you because I do not. On certain things. I just do not anymore. On other things, I'm like. Did I brush my teeth today or where am I even going? I'll like be in the car and I'm like, where am I going again? I've been missing turns lately and I'm like, great, now I have to turn around. Like, that's so annoying. I do find myself now questioning if I have dementia.

I mean, I think everyone has it, unfortunately.

So that is one thing is like, obviously, we can get into it in another episode but we first of all obviously had truett so that was july august was harvest august i think sept oh september han's dad tried to light himself on fire and then han's mom had a very traumatic fall and ended up in surgical icu and also they almost killed her yeah so yeah we'll have to get through like yeah it's been non-stop are hans parents in a competition to see who can kill themselves first basically so yeah

there's just been a lot so there i hate the fact that we took so long off of the podcast but i promise you there actually was shit happening yeah behind the scenes and we just like i told hans the other day like i feel like we haven't even gotten to enjoy true it because stuff has just constantly been happening coming at us and so we're actually going to go to the beach so i'm very excited about that so like that's part of why we're in fort worth is we're

going from here to new orleans to like santa maria island or what not santa maria anna maria island are you staying in new orleans for any amount of time yeah i think like two days yeah because we're gonna do the world war ii museum oh yeah and then the aquarium there for truett because he's never been doing an aquarium and i think it'll be perfect. Although it used to be Clayton's like daddy-daughter deal. He would take the

girls to Cabela's when they were babies and be like, look at these bass. Oh, yeah. I'm sure they were like, yeah, dad, we love it. Drew would probably love it, too. He's the nosiest baby, as you've seen. Like, he is so nosy and so aware of everything. He's just constantly, like, flinging his head. He's like, what's that? Oh, like, as soon as I picked him up today, he, like, immediately put his hands in my mouth. It's like, let me see those teeth.

He's like, I've been looking for some myself. Yeah, I'm getting Invisalign. You are? Why? Well, I had tried invisible aligners through a smaller company a couple of years ago, and I have a baby tooth still. Yeah. Apparently, it's like genetic. My mom had a baby tooth. My sister has a baby tooth. Logan, my nephew, has a baby tooth. Where is it? Mine's on the bottom. It's called like a premolar. It's like right here.

Really? Yeah. I don't have a permanent tooth underneath it. It's still just like— So, will it just close it? So, they're going to— I'm so nosy. I was like, tell me everything. So, like, I'll eventually, it'll just, like, get loose and fall out. And I was like, I don't want to have, because I feel like it's visible when I talk, when I smile. So I don't want to have just no tooth right there. Okay. You know? The gappage? I don't, I'm not a crackhead, so I don't want to look like one. Okay.

So when I tried the invisible aligners several years, I can't even talk, several years ago, that was a concern of mine. And they were like, well, we're designing them to where that tooth won't even move. And lo and behold, it started to like shift. And I was like, I'm stopping because I don't want, I'm not ready for that tooth to come out or anything. So I went to a dentist, an orthodontist, to come up with a plan.

And so we're going to do, he was like, I can pull the tooth and put a full set of braces on you, but that's going to be a minimum of two and a half years to close that gap. And I was like, what are my other options? And so we're going to do Invisalign. He's going to, he calls it slicing the tooth, but you just slenderize the tooth a little bit where they like file around the outside. Almost like you're being like fitted for a veneer. This is fascinating to me.

And then close the gap a little bit, and then they're going to do an implant. This is so wild. Yeah. Well, I think your teeth are beautiful. Thanks. I think you're beautiful. I think you're beautiful. You know, I don't like my mom chop, but it's okay. Well, everybody does it. I did it. I literally was having a meltdown with Michelle one day, and we went to get our hair cut, and that's another story in itself.

But we went to do that, and I was, like, losing hair, you know, postpartum, and I was just like, just cut it off, just cut it off. And now I'm like, okay, I know it'll burp. I always feel like I've got a burp, yeah. Is it the coffee? I think so, yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Either that or it's just talking into the microphone. Was it the pretzel? No, I haven't inhaled the present yet. I know we like a salty and sweet, so. Yeah. I'm trying to think of what else. Tell me about the girls.

Oh, they're so funny. Because they're so funny. They were so excited to like see Truett. They say that Truett's their brother. Yeah. Which is totally fine with me. Yeah. Like before he was born. Yeah, they're like, when do we get to meet our brother? Lily was like, when is Aunt Robin having our brother? And I was like, well, you know, that's not how it works, right? But they could care less. Sure. But yeah, she was like, Lily especially, because Lily like is the bigger sister.

She's kind of got that maternal, more of a maternal instinct than Andy does. Andy could give a shit less. Andy was almost going to push Truett down a hill. Yeah, she was like, let me push this baby in the stroller. And then she got distracted. She's like, anyways, see you later. But yeah, she was like, because you had come in, or I had gone to see Truett. You and I came to see Truett. I helped you in there.

Right after you had him. And then I think that you came in twice before they were able to like see him. Yeah. And Lily was like, she was like, when are we going to get to see Aunt Robin's baby? And I was like, well, I'm going to, she's coming into town in a couple of days. We're going to meet up with them. And so you could see him. And she goes, get her on the phone. She was like dead serious. She's like, get her on the phone right now. I want to talk. We have to make sure this is real life.

I was like, it's already set up, Lily. Don't worry about it. I'm not lying to you. Oh, she's so funny. But I don't know how I feel about this. It cracks me up because she's so good at it. But Lily's started talking in an Indian accent. No. Why? She just does it, like, not, like, permanently. She's not, like, talking to me in an Indian accent. I would hope not permanently. Indian accent, but she'll, like... She's gonna be a stand-up comedian.

Because so many... She has so many Indian kids in her class now. And so she'll be reading her book at night. Like, reading it out loud to me, but she'll do it, like, in Indian accent. And she's really good at it. I need to hear this. Oh, God. I mean, I don't need to be called by the school anymore. No, I was going to say, I was like, the next, it's not going to be lice this time. It's going to be like, we're worried about your daughter's accent impersonations. So, yeah.

I don't want to discourage her from doing it because I think it's so, I think it's so funny when people are like really good at like doing accents.

Yeah. So I'm like, yeah, keep it up. I mean, I wish I was good at accents and I can't do any, so I get that. But also, nowadays, who knows how that's going to go over. Oh, okay. That's great. It's the new development. At least she's not, is she still trying to, like, leave school all the time? All the time. All the time. Yeah. So what's her newest excuse? She's always just, oh, the other day she, I say the other day, it was, like, the week after their, like, winter break, their Christmas break.

Like, she comes home, and she's got, like, her papers in her folder, like, tests and stuff. And she's doing so good. She's, like, all A's right now. And so I was like, hey, really good job on these tests. I'm so proud of you. Then the next day, she's, like, in the morning, I get her up for—try to get her ready for school. And she was like, I don't want to go to school today. And I was like, Lily, it's Friday, we're about to have the weekend.

I don't want to hear this. You're getting ready. You're going to school. And she goes, did you not see the papers in my folder, the test grades? And I was like, yeah. And I told you I was really proud of you. She goes, I know. I need a break. She goes, I worked really hard on that. I need a break now. I need a break. She's like, reward? Yeah. Yeah. I did something right. Reward. Yeah. Hey, wait, can you please tell the story about math?

Which one? And her wearing all black to school. I thought that we talked about that, didn't we? No, I thought that was, am I crazy? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, she decided to wear like all black to school one day. And she was the night before. Yeah, you said the night before, yeah. She was like, I'm going to wear all black to school tomorrow. And I was like, okay, if that's what you want to wear, that's fine. And then like I'm getting her ready the next day.

And I was like, you know, are you like in warning? Like what's going on with this? And I was like, you know, a lot of people wear all black to like a funeral. And she was like, yeah, because I'm going to kill it. I'm going to murder math. I was like, okay. So, yeah, she's going to math's funeral. Yeah. She's like, I'm going to kill it. I just like, I need to know how her brain works. Oh, if you like. It's fascinating. If you just like sit there.

Yeah. With her long enough and she's just off on her own. Yeah. But, like, she's got open dialogue. Like, she's just saying it out loud. She definitely has an inner monologue. Yeah. Yeah, no, she definitely has an inner monologue that's, like, going at all times. Yeah, and my sweet little Andy's just, she's just there. She's so perfect. She's so sweet. But that's the thing is, like, I just can't wait to see, like, the older they get, how they change. Yeah.

Because, like, they change so much. Like. Like every week it's something new. Something new. But I did, I was like going through my phone the other night looking at like old videos and I came across a video. It was, I want to say either early 2023 or 22 or late 22. But Lily like has me set my phone up so she can record herself doing a video. So I like set the phone up, I hit like video. And you see her, like, step back from the camera, and she's doing the Pledge of Allegiance.

And then Andy comes in, and she's trying to do the Pledge of Allegiance with Lily, and Lily gets, like, so upset with her because she's not doing it right, and, like, pushes her off to the side. Andy's out of frame, and you see Lily go, you're ruining the pledges! And just gritting her teeth, like yelling at her sister. For the Pledge of Allegiance. For the Pledge of Allegiance. It was so funny. And then... And then they finally, like, Clayton's like, you're the big sister,

teach Andy how to do it. She's trying to learn. And so Lily's finally like, okay, all right, come on, Andy. And so she's like, does the whole Pledge of Allegiance. And then she goes, she's trying to go into the Texas flag pledge, which I don't remember ever doing. And then she goes, honor the Texas flag. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America.

It just goes right back into it and i was dying i was it was one of those like nights where clayton's like at work the girls are asleep and i'm just in bed wheezing like wheezing yes i love that because that's what i do now is obviously i send you stuff late at night and i'll be like in tears. Crying hyperventilating and hans is like are you okay i'm like no no because i love you about it Like when your algorithm's just fucking feeding it to you. Because my phone's just ding, ding, ding, ding.

Oh, it makes me so happy. Because I'm just like, oh, this one's great. Oh, wait, this one's better. Oh, this one's good. Pure gold. I mean, I will just be hyperventilating, crying, like so hard. And Hans is like, what is so funny? And I'm like, you don't understand. I have to send it to Monica. He's like, the two of you. I'm like, ah, shut up. Clay gets so annoyed with somebody like dying. Yes. Watching something.

And I'll go to show it, and he won't even look at it first. He goes, this better be funny. He'd be like, it is. And then he'll watch it, and he'll just be like.

That's fun yep that's why they get along because they're just like we need to talk about serious things oh we had a conversation about like if Clayton and I ever got divorced who would take me and who would take him and I like Clayton's best friend I was like Taylor would take me over you one million percent me and Taylor have the exact same humor yes he's like you know fuck you're Right. Clayton would be on an island by himself. Let's be for real. Yeah.

Oh, I love that. It just makes me so happy. I know. And I'm just so happy we get to do this together. It makes me, like, we needed this. Yeah. I know. I was like, we needed this. We needed this. We needed this. We've never deprived ourselves of it, but we needed this. It's just like, have you seen that video? And it's like, do you want to go camping? It's like, absolutely not. No, I don't. I don't want to go camping. I send that to Hans. And he was like, well, hunting season's kind of like,

came out shut. Exactly. I don't like it and I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. I do want to take the girls camping, though. I used to go camping when I was a kid. I want to take them, though, to like Big Bend. Okay. I was like, how about like Broken Bow or something? Where they can actually like see stars and stuff. Well, they can in Kansas. Yeah. So, especially once we get some space at our other house. So, yeah.

Well, I guess our actual house. Yeah. So, anyways, but I'm glad this is, we're back. I know. We're back. We're back. Well, also, we're going to try and do still at least one episode a month. I know you don't probably feel like these are empty promises after last year. But we're going to have to dry. So, we're going to try and still do just like one episode a month at least. So, then that way, because if I can't come down here with Hans, he's on baby duty right now.

Obviously he's very nice for doing that he's an amazing father so I'm very grateful for that he obviously needs his props, especially because he'll watch this because he's our number one fan yeah shout out to all the dads out there just being dads being dads killing it daddios but yeah so hopefully one episode a month, And obviously, think we're, well, there's a lot we have to catch up on in other episodes, but yeah.

Yeah. I guess we can just leave it as that. I don't want to make too many promises, episode one. Yes. But anyways. Questions, comments, concerns. Yeah, I was like, give us some ideas. I was like, do you want to hear more baby things? Do you want to hear just the good things, the bad things, the ugly things, all of the above? It would be kind of funny if we got Hans and Clayton on here one time. I don't know if Clayton would do it. Clayton would get us canceled so fast.

That's valid. That's very valid. Hans probably would accidentally. Because he'd be like, what? I thought that was okay. No, it's not. It's not. Anyways. Clayton would be good to talk about conspiracies with, though. I love conspiracies. Except for the fact that most conspiracies are coming true. Yeah. So there's that. But anyways. I love you. I love you. I'm glad we're back. Next time, we should have champagne. Yes. Because we need to bring that back because I can actually have drinks now. Yeah.

I think we should go get a dirty martini after this. Of course, yeah. And an espresso martini. Of course. Because it's like, you know, why not? Yeah, keep talking dirty to me. Yeah, I like it. I love it.

Anyways, thank you all so much for listening, for watching and... Watching? Have we been filmed this entire time? Yeah, well, for cuts. Yeah. But, you know, until next time, cheers. Cheers.