Corks & Chaos

Music. Well, howdy, y'all, and welcome back to Corks and Cowtown. It is me, Robin, and Monica.

We're so happy to be back. Also, thank y'all so much for the well-received return. Yes. We missed y'all, and we still have so much to discuss. Always. Always. Literally always. I think the sad thing is, and I know we've said this before, is how you and I, like, won't talk during the week so we can save it for the podcast. Well, I think that we have our more serious discussions during the week and then we say the bullshit with the podcast.

That's very valid because there's a lot of bullshit, especially whenever I'm between states. Yeah. So I have gotten to stay in Texas for a little while, which has been really nice. Yeah. One of the things I wanted to talk about that was just really setting me off the other day. First of all, after our last episode, I know we said we should do a full episode on pet peeves. Uh-huh. But I know that our list of pet peeves will take us a year to complete because we are easily annoyed.

So annoyed. I don't like. I was like, I think, what was it? We were walking into Hudson House and I, we like split and we walked around a car. So we like were walking on different sides. And I was like, that shit just annoys the shit out of me. Yeah. Well, you were like, what vanity plates? And there is literally a Porsche in front of us. And I guess I can say what it said, right? Yeah. I'm not like, I don't know who the person is, but it's a Porsche and their vanity plate said Porsche.

Yeah. And I was like, of all the things you could have come up with, Porsche. Porsche. And then my pet peeve was it's like Jeeps. Yeah. With all the ducks. I don't, I don't understand. And I don't know if it's just because I'm not a Jeep person and I don't get it and I want to be included. No, I don't want to be included. Well, yeah, I don't want to be included either. But actually, where do you find that many rubber ducks? I don't know, but... And do they all have like a purpose?

I feel like I just need to know what the deal is with the rubber duck. Yeah. Somebody please tell us. If you have a G. And are you gluing them to the dash? Yeah. How do they stick on there? Because the way that I drive, I mean, duck could be fucking flying everywhere. There would be migration daily. Daily. Daily migration. They would be going out the window. Yeah. Sunroof probably. That's the thing is like because some of them are big and some of them are tiny.

And also, what happens when you run out of room?

Yeah. like on your dash i don't know also i don't like the fact that they are never like color-coded, yeah like i like things organized yeah my ocd would drive me insane like if they're going to be different sizes you need to start all the military ones need to be in a section big yeah i was like all the aquatic ones in a certain area there needs to be order yeah yellows go with yellows blues go with blues yeah i just i need someone to explain it to me and i'm still not going to like it but

i would at least like an explanation so that was our just for the moment those were two of our five seconds of being outside those were our two pet peeves we had so i know the list will be very long when it happens a lot of stuff just really grinds my gears i'm also still on my whole shtick of now i just believe we never went to the moon because.

There's too many things that we should have figured out by now if we did yeah like window tinning yeah why am i still being blinded in my vehicle at sunset and i literally am like why can i like you're telling me nasa sent people to the moon but we can't figure out window tinning there's window tint that will take that away it's just fucking illegal which is ridiculous like Like, who cares if you can see inside of my car? I have ceramic tint on my car, like on the front windshield.

Wait, what is ceramic tint? So it's supposed to cut down on, like, the heat. Okay. Like, when the sun's blaring, you can literally, like, if you take, like, ceramic tint and regular tint, put, like, a thermometer on the dash of two cars, the one with the ceramic tent like the interior of the vehicle will be cooler. Cooler? Yeah. Hmm. Interesting. But it's still you can't. You can't get it dark because it's illegal. But that's the whole thing is like it's literally a safety hazard.

Why does it not come standard on a vehicle? Yeah. Like because I've seen some of those cars that have like just the top of the windshield is like darker. Yeah. Why is that not everywhere? I don't know. Because didn't they make backup cameras on all vehicles now? Yeah, that's like mandatory for all vehicles. Which is nice because here's the thing. I can parallel park, but I can do it a lot faster with a backup camera. Yeah.

So. And, like, you know, they've done, first of all, my optometrist has told me before they have sun damage in my eyes. So, like. I'm sorry, what? Yeah, that should be, instead of wearing, like, sunglasses in your vehicle, you should just be able to have, like, tint on your windows. Yeah. And they've done, like, studies on truck drivers, like, over-the-road truck drivers that are, their, like, left arms are always significantly more sun damage.

And they like look like two different arms yeah it's the wild they literally are two different arms but you know what i'm saying yes like they belong to two different people also your thing about the sunglasses is like if you are in an accident sunglasses are like a hazard.

Yeah and i've heard about like the wearing your hair clip in the car oh i heard about that too i started taking it out whenever i drive i can't do it i was like well i saw they have the flat ones now oh do they yeah they have like flat ones now that'll go in your hair so i don't know but yeah i was like i'm just still on my the more things in life that i'm just like i think about and then i like watch stuff i'm like yeah i don't think we don't went to the moon yeah

i think y'all are kidding us yeah i mean they've like shown green screens yeah and well then there that movie came out about it i haven't watched it and i'm just like i don't know i just question everything those these days i'm constantly going to question everything oh here is one of my pet peeves so we were watching have you seen the six triple eight the what it's called the six triple eight no so i think it was world war ii they were talking about how like

basically troops weren't getting like mail and things and so they sent in an all-female troop to basically go figure out the mail. Yeah. Because, like, they were like, you know, it's taking, like, morale down and everything. And obviously, like, the odds were against them. I don't want to give away, like, the entire plot of everything.

But obviously, they were given, like... I think, like, six months. I can't remember because it's been a while since we watched it. But they ended up, like, completing it in, like, 90 days. Yeah. Because, like, first of all, if you're going to send someone to figure something out, it should be women. Yeah. Like, let's be for real. Yeah. Especially, like, organization and stuff. We were just talking about how, like, guys don't know how to pack.

Like, they literally don't. I'm always, I look at Hans when he's trying to put stuff in the car.

I'm like, why would you put all the smallest stuff in first? when the big stuff has to like did you ever play tetris growing up like clearly not he's like i'm a tetris champion i was like you're a liar i was like you are making shit up right now but anyways so the six triple eight so you know they go through all this stuff whatever but like obviously women reign supreme they figure everything out and save the day, how was it that in war times they

were able to do that and the post office now can't get it together the post office is one thing that pisses me off more than anything on earth yes i literally like if you go into the post office i feel like i do the job for them because i'll be like hey i need this sent to this place by this date and they're like well how do you want to send it by mail like that's your job is to tell me how it's going to get there on time and they're just like well

you could do this you could do this and I'm like give me some options like which one's the cheapest which one's guaranteed which one comes with tracking yeah it's like pulling teeth every single time and the worst thing is my last mail or post office experience was in Kansas. Where everything is just 30 years behind. I literally, like, I was probably in there. I was the only person in there for probably 30 minutes just sending a letter.

And I thought I was going to pass away. I came out and Hans was like, what took so long? Was there a long line? I was like, nope, nope. Just didn't know. Like, she made me switch the envelope like three times.

And she was like, oh, well, what address do you want it to go to? And I brought it on a piece of paper. And I was like, this one. Yeah. She's like, oh, well, that one. And I was like, yes, ma'am, this one. I literally just said that like three times. I was like, I wrote it down for you to make it easier. But yeah, the post office, like. Post office, government offices, all just chaos. That's also, I know we weren't going to do more pet peeves, but that's on my

pet peeve list. But The Six Triple Eight was a really, really good movie. Yeah. And also, you just need to be prepared to, like, bawl your eyes out, though. It's one of those. I mean, normally, if it has anything to do with war, Clayton will watch it with me. But because it... It's all women. It's all women. I'll be like, no, this is fake. Fake news. The guys. Yeah, I was like I was like watching and I started like hyperventilating at one scene and Hans was like, are you OK?

And I was like, no, I was like, how are you not like touched by this like super emotional, sad scene right now? I think I'm just emotional, period, all the time for some reason. Oh, the older I got, yeah, the older I've gotten, it's like I turned it off for so many years and now I'm an absolute wreck. I was watching and I didn't even talk about abandonment issues. Yes. Anyways, keep going. I didn't even watch the whole movie,

but I caught like the kind of the back end of it. But have you ever seen St. Vincent? Wait, is that the one with Bill Murray? Bill Murray. I was like bawling my eyes out at the end of it. I don't remember the ending, though. He's like. Isn't he like an alcoholic or something? He's kind of like a dirtbag neighbor. Yes, yes, yes. And he starts kind of like babysitting this kid that takes him to like the horse races and stuff.

And the kid like goes to like a catholic school and they are assigned a project like to talk about someone name someone a saint yeah and all these other kids are like picking their family members and he picks his like dirtbag neighbor and it's just it was like the sweetest thing but it was i don't know i was bawling i was in my room and i was like why am i crying you stupid bitch. I do that so often now, though, is I'll just like...

Tick tock gets me is like if you watch you know like one sad animal video or something and the next one it's just like oh this got her it's just like we're about to like really fuck up your day now and then they absolutely just wreck me and same thing is like it's always whenever i don't need to see someone afterwards is like as soon as i'm like hyperventilating crying hans will like walk in and he just looks at me like are you okay and i'm like i i i i'm just like i

can't function yeah but yeah like if Clayton and I watch something together and there's like a sad scene and I start crying I can feel him like in my peripheral he's just looking at me and he's like smiling about it and I want to be like I feel like you're looking at me so that you're not watching it yeah so that you're not gonna cry you big baby exactly that's the thing is like they want to like make fun of us and it's just like I know you you probably yeah you're gonna to cry about it

later you're gonna be in the shower yeah that's what I was gonna say I was like you're gonna go to the shower and it's gonna hit you all of a sudden and that's what takes you so long in the bathroom besides sitting on your phone on the toilet on the throne till your legs fall asleep literally oh yeah no I was like what other movie did we watch that I like I need like a does Hulu and like Netflix I wish they would be like you've already watched this.

Because sometimes stuff will come across and I'm just like oh that looks good and I'm like just Just kidding. I already watched that. Yeah. No, sometimes it'll be like, I think Netflix has a, like a category where it's like watch again. Hmm. But I don't know. I'm getting, every time I look at my email, there's another. Upgrade? Notification about them, like raising the rates. Yes. Yeah. When is it going to stop? I don't know. Because here's my whole thing is like

the whole, like it started at what? It was like $9.99. Yeah. And now it's like, what? $50? Like $18, I think. I feel like it's like 50 at this point. I swear. I think I got I think they changed it to like 1799. But then they put like tax and fees and shit on that. But here's my whole thing. The whole point of that was so like we didn't have TV and ads and stuff. And then they put ads. Yeah. Now they're like, well, if you want it without ads, you have to pay for it. Yeah.

I'm like the whole point of your business model was so we didn't have to do this. Same thing is like, have you been on a like, I don't remember the last flight I went on. I guess it was like our honeymoon. But like on American Airlines, they literally will run ads while you're watching movies. And it'll like pop up and it's like, oh, here's a quick little intermission. And I'm like, give me my movie back. Like, I want to finish my movie. Or I open the emergency exit mid-air.

Gosh. Well, also, the whole thing is, like, you know, obviously, they're just like, oh, well, we're going to try and get around everyone to get them a drink. I'm like, try. Yeah. Try harder. Yeah. I need a cocktail if I'm flying. Aura. Yeah. I was like, I need that. Oh, it just drives me absolutely nuts. Yeah. I think the next time we're going on a trip, though, y'all have a trip coming up.

We're driving. Yeah. We are taking the girls to Angel Fire for their spring break, but I'm trying to plan like a summer vacation with them. And I need, I think, a travel agent. Use my travel agent, Michelle Harbaugh. I need someone to help me with flights. No, she will. I've been using her for like 10 years. We found this place last summer, but since it was the girls' first time flying, we didn't want to have a layover.

Yeah. but they did so good on the flights we were like okay i think that they could handle having a layover yeah but we found a resort in saint lucia that we wanted to take them to but literally there's only one flight only one two flights that i can find that doesn't like put me into the next day like that doesn't take a whole day of travel oh yeah that's annoying Yeah, and it's like a 5 a.m. Flight to Miami with a one-hour layover.

I haven't been to the Miami airport, so I don't know if that would even work. Yeah, I haven't taken a 5 a.m. flight that wasn't delayed. Yeah. Every single time where it's the first flight out in the morning, it's always delayed. And if we weren't traveling with kids, I think me and Clayton could do it, but I can't. Yeah, I haven't been to Miami's.

Actually I have been to Miami's airport I was like I've had to lay over there Miami so but this that that was pre-9-11 so back in the day day back in the day day when shit was different yes, no I was like I think it's just one of those things too is like the airport's so stressful now in general yeah it's like just I feel like traveling has gotten more stressful I feel like I'm still really good at it because as long as you like prep ahead of time you're like hey I know where to park.

I know where my gate is. I know where this is. But there's like you know when you travel with people who just like panic the second they get somewhere they've never been and they're just like ah. Yeah. And that's why I'm glad like you and I have traveled together. Easy peasy. We're just like, all right, let's do this. Let's do this. Also, my whole thing, people who get to the airport like 30 minutes before their flight give me so much anxiety. Yeah.

I literally have to be there two hours before. Yeah. Because shit always changes. Your gait always changes. I'm like, I want to make sure I have plenty of time to go to the bathroom. If I want to eat something or get a drink, I want to be able to do that. Yeah. Like, there's nothing better than, like, an Applebee's or TGI Friday's cocktail that is so overpriced and tastes like shit. That's all I want in life is, like, do you know how many times I've had to go

up? I think it's normally Fridays or what's in the airports. Yeah. Not Applebee's. I think it's Fridays.

But I literally taught one of them is, like, because whenever espresso martinis were coming out, I think it was, like, 7 a.m., you know, and obviously the airport there's no rules for like alcohol yeah wait wait what when we went to park city didn't we we had we grabbed breakfast out of fridays i think yes and they wouldn't let us order mimosas but wait it's the one in dfw dfw yeah what time was it then it was an early flight but i don't feel like it was that early hmm i'm

trying to remember because i know that there's some that like i literally had to teach the bartender how to make an espresso martini yeah and they were like with hot coffee and i was like no no psycho like let me just listen to the words coming out of my mouth but yeah and we all know that i'm a professional bartender yeah like listen your bartending skills end up in you should be in jail straight to jail straight to jail I did make like $200

we because we like with our the firefighter group we always have like like a Christmas dinner somebody either me or my friend Sarah host it at our house.

But this year I was like, I'm going to make, I'm going to pre-make espresso martinis. And I just. For death. Well, they were delicious. But I like pre-made them and I just put it back in the Grey Goose bottle. And it was so cute. But yeah, I mean, you can only have one. Yeah. Well, that's the whole thing. Is that when you made the tiramisu? Or was that a different one? That was a different one. But yeah, the tiramisu could have got you drunk.

I think that's our only thing that we don't have in common is I don't like tiramisu. I only made it because it was like an Italian dinner. Yeah. And so I had decided I'd make tiramisu. And then I just feel like it's always too much whipped, whatever, like whipped cream. Yeah, but it was good. I'm not a whipped cream gal. Well, the lady fingers in it could have. I know.

Could you give me a soaked lady finger? alcohol i'm super into that yeah you'd be like can i have some of those just on the side thanks, no but yeah i don't know i was like i guess i guess alexa always batches her espresso martinis too yeah i like to do them like individually because like you know how like whenever we have our girls lunches yeah somebody we have to order one person wants creamy destiny.

Well i have a lot of things to say but I'll let her have her creamy yes let her have her creamy espresso martini so it's just funny though because everyone likes them so different because if I'm making one like to be my perfect espresso martini I want to use like if I'm using like Kahlua I want to use like a salted caramel Kahlua I got a Kahlua and it's I don't I'm gonna probably fuck it up but it's like a Kahlua Especial and it's like almost like a dark chocolate flavored and it that's what

I used on those batched espresso martinis and it was really good. I like that and then also I like doing like a vanilla vodka if possible. Like a whipped cream whipped with Big Red. No you monster I think we told that story. We did yeah the 4th of July. I literally thought I was gonna die. You're welcome. Did we talk about that day, too, is how you, like, I left my shirt and clicked his truck. Yeah. Yeah.

That was, I will never forget that, because I just remember you being like, I don't know, some, there's some bitch's shirt in his truck. And I was like, Monika, it's mine. I was with you. And you were just like, oh. I was blackout drunk. I don't remember. It was literally the same. Yeah. I don't, didn't we have to, like, crawl through a gate? No, it was the garage. Garage, yeah. Yeah. We, like, army crawled under the garage gate. Super normal things. Good times. Super casual. Yeah.

Yeah yeah and in arlington that doesn't look real good no not at all the cops show up and they're like there's four white people crawling under the garage door golly well i just remembered that and i think we all ended up like topless in the backyard too i know i did yeah i was wearing my yep i have pictures of that still i think a hat.

The funniest thing is that like Hans will ask me if I've ever done something and I'm like yes yes, the answer is always going to be yes and then he's like you really did live like multiple lives before you met me and I was like yes and that's why I got it all out of my system I was like it's like I literally had to live nine lives before he came into my life so it was like okay now you can be blessed with someone who isn't going to like like wreck your life yeah

I just don't think I was ready to grow up I'm still not ready to grow up I told you yesterday I don't want to be an adult anymore no I don't either well it's just hard to do things like that's what we're saying is like we can't just plan a lunch no because everyone's schedules are so different everyone has kids like everyone's doing stuff and it's like I just want to hang out with my friends for like an hour at lunch yeah why is that so hard but it's it's sad that's making me angry

that part well I will say this is like when we were talking about like trips and stuff so I remember like obviously always being the single one and going on like trips with like couple friends and when you do that and you like stay somewhere you always get the couch yeah and you have no idea so like we're planning a trip to go out to like South Carolina to go to Coastal where like Hans went to college and see some of his friends up there too, like his best friend and his wife.

And so we were like getting an Airbnb and it's, I was just like, do you know how excited I am? We get to sleep in a bed and not like, I don't have to sleep on a couch because now I'm married. And so like now we get like first dibs.

It sounds so stupid, but like, I remember so many times that just and I mean it's not that big of a deal like on girls trips like especially now that we're older like obviously we book and we're like hey I want to make sure we both have a bed yeah like we don't have to split a bed yeah like whatever but on so many trips I remember like you know you get there and then it's just like all right well who's sleeping where and being

the single one you're always just like I'll sleep wherever yeah and I always ended up on like a couch and obviously like whatever it's not that big of a deal because you're not sleeping that long typically on trips but it does make me very excited that now that's no longer my life and I've upgraded and now I don't have to do that. I know we've always like been like, oldest ones on the trip, Lee and Clayton. So you're like dibs. So I'm like, mom and dad get this room.

And then you kids. Can pick whatever. Figure out where y'all are going to sleep. Well, do you ever watch The Real Housewives? Yeah. You know how like they always fight over rooms? Yes. That probably makes me more angry than anything, especially when they're just like, I have too much money for this.

Then why the fuck are you like renting a house or staying in hotels where you either don't have your own room or there's not enough beds like but like also if you're getting to go i'm sorry if i had a rich friend that was like hey do you want to come on a trip yeah all expenses paid on my private jet i'm not complaining no i don't care how much money i had in the bank i'm not complaining i'd be like i'll sleep forever yeah it's not like their sleep like they typically stay up till

like three in the morning anyways and then get up at eight yeah like five hours and like i have to split a bed okay cool i'm not spending any money on the trip i'm fine yeah and some of those houses i'm like i'll sleep on a pool lounger yeah this is nicer than my whole house exactly i just like that's one of the things that like oh what which one was it, I think it was the Real Housewives of New York on one of the last trips they went on. Yeah.

And one of the girls was just like, I'm going to go stay at a hotel. Oh, yeah. I can't do this. And so then another girl was like, I'll just sleep in the other room. Like, this doesn't have to be an issue. Yeah. And I'm like, like the diva-ness. Yeah. I just don't think I could hang around people like that. No. I mean, more important to me is having enough bathrooms.

Bathrooms when you're like tripping with people you want there to be enough bathrooms especially if there's mixed like males and females it's like you guys that's the boys go shit in that girl's bathroom yes y'all fight for that one no I totally agree on that even like with us is like I'll get up earlier than Hans when it's not hunting season or like farming season and so I'm always so happy because I get up early. I have my coffee.

I get to use the bathroom because like in the house we're in now that it's getting remodeled, we only have like one working bathroom. The other bathroom's like downstairs. And it's just the stairs are like steep and I don't like walking down them. So I was like, I get like my little private time in the morning. It makes me so happy. And then also he's a boy and he's a country boy. And so he'll just go pee outside. So I'm just like, that's right. That's where you belong. You go outside.

Yeah, Clayton always, if he, like, gets up in the middle of the night to, like, Presley out, he always pees outside. It'll be freezing cold outside. He's like, I'll just pee outside. Like, why do guys love that? I don't, but if it was that easy for me to pee somewhere, I'd probably do it, too. Valid. Yeah.

Yeah, I just, it's really funny. Because one of my favorite things is, like, so I don't remember if we talked about Hans running out of gas. I think we. I don't remember. But like, obviously just listen. There's a lot of times he should probably just listen to me. Yeah. But there's a lot of times he doesn't. Because, you know, obviously men think women are stupid in general and that they know better. Yes. And I just am always like, look, I don't want to constantly be right.

It just happens to be that way. Yeah. And so I'll just never forget it, though, because he was so mad about it. Is we were obviously like running late to come to like Fort Worth. And he was like, oh, I need gas. And so like, obviously, like on a farm, I didn't know this. I was so confused of how he would always, my car always had gas in it. And like, especially when we very first started dating is he'd be like, oh, I'm going to go put gas in your car.

Like at their farm, you obviously for like all the equipment, you have to have gas. So you have like unleaded and you have diesel on the farm. Yeah. So he would take my car there and just fill it up. And I was like, free gas. This is awesome. Like, I love it here. Yeah. I was like, not me.

I was like, this is great. you know his dad's probably gonna send me a check or like a bill but it was just like the funniest thing so like he was just like well you know i need gas in the truck before we head down there like we'll just stop by the farm well the thing is like they're like massive tanks but because it had been snowing and stuff they hadn't been able to get someone out there to refill it yeah and so he tried to get gas and there's no gas and so he's

like all right well we'll just drive into like Stafford, which is like the nearest town. And he's like, I'm just going to take back roads, though, in case we do run out of gas. And I'm like, OK, whatever. Like, but I told him, I was like, well, why don't we just go to your parents? Like, we have to drop off stuff at your parents. Your parents have gas. I'm wrong, obviously. So we're puttin down the road, you know, I've never been in a vehicle when it ran out of gas.

And so obviously, like, all of a sudden, And just everything like slows down. And I'm just like, oh, my God, it's really happening. Like, it's really happening. We're running out of gas. And I was just like, if this was like in Fort Worth, I'd be embarrassed because obviously there's so many people. There's like not even a cow around. So up there, though, at the time. So I'm just like, OK, like, whatever. Not a big deal.

My issue was, though, that I needed to pee. And so I was just like, OK, I was like, I can hold it like whatever. So he obviously like is pissed. He ran out of gas. And not very much makes him mad, but we're obviously like trying to get there like at a decent hour. We like to get to Fort Worth earlier. And so he has to call his dad and he's like, hey, we need a free time and you just come get me some gas so I can get to the gas station.

And he's like, OK, you know, I'll be there when I can. You have to remember everything up there is like 20 minutes away. So we're sitting there. He's on his phone. He's pissed. We're sitting there in silence. And it's rarely like silent. And I'm like looking outside like, well, should I just go pop a squat? Like whatever. And I was like, I got to break this tension though. Yeah.

And so I immediately just looked at him and I was like, would now be a bad time to tell you that I've never run out of gas? And he just looked at me and he was like, not now.

And i just like obviously started dying laughing because i was like you have to admit like this is hilarious like because i'd never have run out of gas yeah i was like you know it's just something that it hasn't happened to me thankfully fingers crossed plenty of other shit has but he was not a happy camper and then his dad showed up put some gas in and we were on our way yeah to the Next gas station. I've never run out of gas either, but I mean, I'll kind of ride the line.

Yeah. Well, the whole thing is, you know, like, I feel like the older your car gets, it'll say, you know, like, oh, you have 50 miles still empty. And then within five miles, it'll be like, you're almost on empty. And so I always set my, like, trip to be like, okay, I've got, like, at least 10 to 15. Yeah. Because I feel like it over predicts. I don't feel like you really have 50 miles. I'm going to trust what my partner does. I was like, I'm not. But mine's also a 2014, so.

Well, mine's never let me down so far. But I also think that there's, like, bad gas. Like, so there's places where, like, you know, growing up in Burleson, my dad would be like, don't get gas here because it's shitty gas. And I feel like there are definitely places. How would that work, though? I don't know. But I think that. These are the life's problems that we need to figure out. Yeah, I need somebody to tell me. Can someone explain to us if that's a real thing?

Is it like watered down? Probably. Is it more ethanol? Probably. I don't know. I know that there's like ethanol-free gas in Oklahoma because we filled up with it. Is that what Willie Nelson was doing, was like the ethanol-free gas? I don't know. But Clayton said that like you get better gas mileage with it. Hmm. Interesting. I love how we're having a conversation about gas now. I know. Keeping things light and funny about gas. Clayton did tell me the other day. Oh, gosh.

That for a woman, I was pretty intelligent. And I was like, wow. Thanks a lot. Thanks. Like, all women are just fucking stupid. He was like, yeah, you know, for a woman, you're pretty intelligent. I was like, you know that you're raising girls, right? That's the whole thing is like, you know, you made two daughters, correct? Well, here's the tell him this, though, is just anytime he wants to take credit for something, apparently kids inherit their intelligence from the mother. Apparently.

So I don't know if you want to claim that or not yet. I mean, listen, Lily's pretty smart to be that manipulative and get out of school. She's smart. Yeah. She may be using it for the wrong reasons currently, but it's going to benefit her later in life when she's running a prison gang. For sure. Well, I just like it's the same stuff of how like this morning whenever we were like leaving and Hans was like, we don't have any bail money, so y'all don't get in trouble.

And it's just like, well, Clayton's gone, too, so we're screwed. I don't know what we would do. Yeah, I don't know who I would call. I would call you. I would call you. That's the issue. Can we just call each other? Be like, I've got money on my card. Can you go to the ATM real fast? Thanks. In my car. Yeah, in my car. There's this. I have a little pocket full of money. Do you keep that like emergency stuff in your car? Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I do too.

Yeah, I keep a little bit of cash in there. not a lot so don't come break into my fucking shit no i have like five bucks so yeah i think i have like 20 like if i needed gas or something yeah i have enough to get me somewhere and then i have like a little like emergency kit with like band-aids and i have one of those tylenol and stuff like that i have my first aid kit in the back i've got my jumper cables and i think fix a flat i don't

know if i have i'm sure i've got jumper cables somewhere i have a headlamp if that counts that's smart i bought one of those tire pressure gauges because like every single time i go somewhere to like put a little air in my tire they never work or it's like you have to pay for it now and i'm like it's air give it to me for free give me a straw i'm just gonna blow this thing on myself like it makes me so mad like once again another pet peeve it's like why are we paying for air yeah same thing

is like why do we pay for water like this stuff just stresses me out yeah and i used to like the little like air things used to only take quarters and it would only be like 50 cents and you could air up like all four freaking tires now they take your credit card yes because it's like you're gonna be here a while you're gonna need to swipe this yeah because it's just like this is only for 45 seconds and it's like why of all the things is that what you get

what else were we talking about earlier i was dying how we were talking about. What's wrong is that your eyes i think i hope so it looked a little dark.

Done done done done done done so starbucks what do you have to say for yourself get to the bottom be a bug oh don't say that that grosses me out so much no what were we talking we were talking about all of our tiktoks we send each other well you send me tiktoks i don't well that's valid well i especially since i got tiktok back is like i'm obviously addicted so it's where i find my like funny things to talk about yeah i think my biggest thing about the internet

and like social media is it makes me so happy that other people are as funny as we are yeah like it really truly brings me joy and like my favorite place in the world is the comment section whenever people come up with like just like chef's kiss comments I don't know what it does to.

Me but it just makes me so happy right but we were talking about I showed you the one of obviously a lot of people have heard my turkey call my gobble and like whenever Hans and I first started dating I was like you know I can call a turkey and he was like he like died laughing because he was like first of all that's not what a turkey sounds like and I was like whatever bird it is then tell me what it is but I'll do it up there and like turkeys will gobble back and I was like listen whatever it

is I'm enticing them with my sounds if this isn't a turkey call then I don't know what it is but no I showed you like a video of this guy and he's obviously like doing it to his friend is like a joke but he's like oh come here turkey yeah he's like turkey and so obviously his friend's embarrassed but it got us on the topic of like girls hunting and first of all I know there's obviously like professional female hunters and like props to them for putting on their camo and having a matching outfit

and doing all the things like I can shoot a gun I can shoot a bow I can do all that.

But like, is it something I like enjoy or like seek out to do? No. But what was it you said, Tori Bradbury yeah and about how she'll like go with her husband and like sit in the vine and just torture him he's like like the looks on his face if looks could kill like he would kill her didn't you say she'll like pop open like a bag of chips and like just do anything that's like loud yeah and so it just made me laugh though talking about like girls hunting and doing stuff because that's the thing

is like I think for the most part we do it and be like okay what outfit are you gonna wear yes oh i'm so excited about so you know clayton got that yes african hunt yes and they've been like bothering him they're like you've got to plan this well all of the 2025 dates are taken so he was like last night he was texting me while he was at the station he was like so i think we're gonna try to shoot for june july of 26 are you still wanting to go and i was like fuck yes I'm gonna go he's

like what are you gonna shoot and so he sent me like the list of all the like animals that you can shoot and like the cost of it and stuff and so I was like I'm gonna shoot this little guy and it was like a fucking kudu with like a bigger than a 55 inch rack and I was like you think we can take the hide too this is gonna make a great rug and he was like yeah you yeah take the cape yeah I was like but I gotta start playing in my african hunt outfits well That's the thing

is like, what type of hat are you going to wear? I know. Like, what type of shoes? Because those are the things is like Hans always wants to go like shed hunting, which is like deer like shed their antlers and stuff. And so you go and you can find like the antlers they shed. And so I think I was telling you about how, you know, obviously online, like people will pay 50 bucks for like plastic gold antlers.

And Hans has at least a hundred of these suckers yeah and he's like well this one's from this and this one's from this like it's weird that like of all things men piss me off what they're like, won't remember what they ate yesterday won't remember where the like ketchup is in the fridge but they can tell you sports stats from before they were born about someone they've never met yeah and then they can tell you dumb shit like oh I picked up the shed from a 10 point buck on you You know,

so-and-so's land. It was this time of day. And I'm just like, why are those the details you remember? Clean can hear gunfire and tell me what kind of gun it is. Yeah. And I'm like, you autistic motherfucker. Well, that's the thing is like when I hear stuff outside, Hans is like, oh, that's a tractor. Oh, that's a side by side. And he's just like, oh, green truck. And I'm like... Like, what is wrong with y'all? No, I thought it was a fucking cruise ship.

Like, I'm just like, but here's the thing, too, now is like, especially being out there where there's no human beings in sight. I'll just say, who is that? And he can literally be like, oh, that's the Fishers. And I'm like, just by the color of the truck? He's like, yeah. And like, he always knows. And I'm just like, that's the weirdest thing. But I was telling him, I was like, let me have some of those.

I'll spray paint them gold and we can make money. Same thing is if you go to Pottery Barn during fall, you can get a wheat bundle that's fake and it's like 60 bucks. I could give that to you and it can be real.

Let's talk about Rise. That's what we were going to talk about. Okay, you start. The decor in there is very kitschy. First of all, we were having girls' lunch. Yeah, which I think that was the last time the four of us were together. It was. Which makes me sad. Yeah. That was either like. Angers me. Yes, exactly. Well, because it wasn't good. Yeah. No, I was. I'm not a souffle person. No, we all decided we're not souffle people.

I'm not a souffle group. Yeah, but we wanted like a cute place none of us had been. Yeah. And I mean, I went there when they very first opened, like for like the friends and family or whatever. And I never went back. Yeah. And now I see why. The only thing I like is the bread cutter. Yeah. But the decor. The decor. Very kitschy. Very Cracker Barrel. That's what I... Yes. I was like, literally. It's like French Cracker Barrel. French Cracker Barrel.

But there were... There's like a tree, like in the middle of it. And they had all these...

What looked like mud hut like dirt like hornet's nest and we asked and we were like what is that are those bird nests and she was like no they're wasps nest and we sell them for for like two hundred dollars yeah i think it was like 180 dollars you you were like i have got four thousand dollars worth of those on my front porch i was like i said i could be making bank off of this well because it just made me so mad i was like i because we asked the girl because i

was just like fascinated by it i was like there's no way y'all are selling this shit yeah i said how many do you sell she goes not a lot yeah because the fact that she didn't say none yeah is what bothered me is like who is like i need to meet the person that's like that is the cutest wasp nest i've ever seen i'll tell you i'll tell you who's buying it wickens because they it does look like some blair witch no literally that you'd

also do you remember the fact that when we were younger like we literally thought blair witch was like a thing yeah also embarrassing but you know it is what it is but no that day was like hilarious because i think we all were like two bottles of wine deep at the point yeah when we were asking the girl and we finally like got our bill too and we're like not worth it. No. The souffle, not worth it. I don't think any of us even finished one single souffle.

Well, I also remember we got espresso martinis there, and she was like, we're known for our espresso martinis. And they should not be. And she came back, and she was like, how were they? And I was like, don't tell people you're known for your espresso martinis. This isn't your selling point. No. No. There's not a selling point, except for your bread cutter. Yeah. The bread and butter is what they should be serving. Yeah. Pretty brutally honest with her. Yeah. I think she appreciated it, though.

I would like to think most people appreciate her honesty. I would like to think that's the truth. They're going to get it whether they like it or not. Well, so my newest thing that I would like us to start doing, just because I know we do it not on the podcast, when new restaurants come to Fort Worth, I think we should start giving them a score and a rating of how long they'll last. Yeah. How do you think? What do you think? Shall we? Well, you know, I love eating.

That would be the same. Yeah. I'm all for it. My thing is typically whenever they just say this new place is coming, even at that point, I can tell you if it's going to last or not. Yeah. So I think we should bring that onto the pod. 100. Speaking of, like, brutal honesty, what are things that you, like, so, you know, I love food. And I will be honest with somebody if like if we go to a restaurant, like we went to Lonesome Dup, I sent my steak back. I was like, this is not medium rare.

Send it back. Like those are things that I'm going to speak up about. What are things that you don't speak up about that you wish that you would? Oh, just like in life in general? Like if you're paying for like a service or meal or anything like that. But like I have sat through excruciating massages before and they're like, how's the pressure? And I'm like, oh, it's great.

No, I think that's a good one, because I think was it you that was with me whenever we went and I said I felt like she was tenderizing me? Yeah, I think so. I was like, I swear the lady was a cannibal and she was tenderizing me so she could eat me because like it hurt so bad. And I even asked her at one point, I was like, hey, maybe a little softer. She's like, oh, OK, you just have a lot of knots. And I was like, you're not helping. Like, you're literally not helping the scenario.

The other thing is before I went, when I would go to other nail places, you know, whenever they're just like, they'll do like one nail and they're like, do you like it? Why is it all of a sudden I'm just like so shy and I'm so, it's my money. Yeah, I know. And then I'm just like, no, it's great. Everything's fine. I hate it. I think most of the time, like nail places, because I've done that too. Like, I will get my nails done and then, like, two days later getting them redone somewhere else.

I don't know if it's, like, kind of the, like, language barrier thing there or what. But, yeah, like, it's weird because there's certain things that I'll definitely speak up about. But when it comes to stuff like that, like... I don't know why. I don't just. And then the other thing I'd say, too, is probably stuff like it depends on the level of like how it is. But a car wash. Yeah.

Like, you know how, like, typically if they're like, oh, well, you know, like if I just go to like I always go to red carpet car wash because like they've been around for the longest and they do the touchless. Yeah. And so when you get an oil change there, you get a free car wash.

Mm-hmm well sometimes i'll do the like free car wash and i'm just like it's like it could still a little dirty like you missed a spot i won't really do anything then but same thing is it's like my comfort zone is like if i go to a new car wash place i'll be like that looks like shit or like i feel like i can't say something and i'm just like i'll just never come back yeah it's i don't know i was like i don't know what it is because it's my money i know that's Like,

and it's my money and I want it now. JG Wentworth. But, like, I just don't know what it is that all of a sudden I get shy. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm not a shy person. Have we listened to the podcast? Yeah, I'm not a shy person. And I don't know. I don't want to come off as, like, bitchy, maybe. I get that. I don't think it's bitchy, though, when it's, like, someone's job. Yeah, but I feel like when it comes from a woman, for some reason,

it seems bitchy. Because we've all been told that it's we're bitchy instead of assertive. Yeah. Yeah. Or confident. True. So I think that's the difference.

Well, next time I get a massage and they're hurting. I mean, I've literally been shiatsu'd during a massage. When you leave a massage and you hurt worse. Yeah. That's like traumatic. Yeah. Like we went to this like hotel spa in Crested Butte.

On a ski trip one time and we got like massages and this I had a male masseuse or massage therapist, and without even giving me the slightest bit of warning he starts beating the shit out of my back and I was like what is happening right now and like all the other girls like when we came out they were like oh my god that was the best massage and I was like where the fuck am I am I at the same spa as y'all because I literally just...

Was hacked to pieces. That's probably not what he was known for. No. The struggle. I'll never forget our massages and our scrubs in Park City because that was awesome. That was awesome. I really want to, apparently there's a place in Fort Worth that does scrubs. I want to get another body scrub. I do too. Fantastic. It really was so nice. I think it's called the body scrubbery. But apparently they do scrubs and massages here. And so I was like,

I think we should go. I feel like a full body scrub is necessary during the winter. I literally itch. Your skin is just so dry. Lily would love it. Give her that and some lotion. Yeah. So I think we should definitely go. Yes. There's also a new place where they have, it's like a float house. It's like one of those floating cave things. Oh, Clayton's done those, like the sensory deprivation floats, like the little pod things. And he was like, it's almost disturbing. Really? Yeah.

He was like, it's so quiet. Oh. And like, I don't know. Because I guess it's like the salt in the water. Because they tell you like, don't get it in your mouth and stuff. Like the salt in the water is so concentrated. That's what makes you like float. I don't know. Which type of salt is it? I don't know. Hmm. Interesting. But yeah, for Clayton to say. Because he is normally like, oh, yeah, just put me in a dark room. Silence.

But he was like, it's disturbing. Well, it's kind of like, have you heard about that? They have like the room where it's like the blackest black. No. It's like a color that's like darker than black. And so if you go in, like you literally feel like you're like nowhere. I was like, that sounds awful. I was like, I don't want to do that.

And then they have that room that's like so quiet. Yeah. I mean, I would like to do it just to say. the mental illness where i think i'm gonna go i'll be handicapped one day or i'm gonna go blind, yeah so maybe i should go there and just test it out be like do i really want this yeah is this for me or should i just wear some like tinted sunglasses you need nasa tinted sunglasses that are good so that are just like blackout i know we can just get you some cool sunglasses and I can

get you a cool cane. Some of those HD wraparounds. Yes. We've got to get you like a really good cane though. So you can just like whack people whenever they're being idiots. Yeah. So that's the biggest thing. Yeah. And I'd like it to be like a two for one. Like I want like a hidden sword in it, please. Oh, smart. Honestly, I like that idea.

I like that. We have a lot. See, these are the things that I just live for is like these catch up sessions is like, what's next well I guess we can wrap it up there because we obviously have more to discuss but it's gonna take, another hour yeah so I guess until next time cheers.