Part One: Baba Yaga: Everyone's Favorite Witch From Folklore

today is the one and only Jamie Loftus. Jamie, how are you? Hi? Oh I'm so tired, but I'm great and I'm ready for Halloween. Do you have Halloween plans? Marcaret? No? I well, I'm I'm going to go be alone in the woods on Halloween. Okay, that's said that that counts as plans. Yeah, yeah, and totally won't be spooked out at all. What are your Halloween plans? What my my Halloween? Because halloweens on a Monday this year, which is troubling. So I have like a Halloween part time job that's

occupying a lot of my time. But on Saturday, I'm going to see Danny Elfman in concert, which is very excited the Pumpkin King. I guess that he does like an annual Halloween show at the Hollywood Bowl. I didn't know about it before this year, but I'm going, baby, I can't wait. Yeah, Sophie Halloween plans. Our producer is the one and only Sophie Lectreman. Sophie, how are you where your Halloween? Plans? To dress my dog and as many costumes as possible, and um that I hope that

kids still. I'm gonna put a giant bowl of candy in front of my house because um, I would like them to have the candy, but I don't want to interact. M M. But I hope they don't steal my ball. They prefer it that way too mean. I think we all do. UM. And then I'm gonna go do some spooky ship yea, wait, are you wearing a costume? Um? I don't know. I didn't get that far on the planning, was just told where to be in when I like. Outfit choice not confirmed. I have one more question, which

is what size candy bars are you rocking? I feel like there should be a mid size between fun size and full size, but I don't know that that exists, I feel like that's what I got. To be honest, I feel like they don't. They're definitely not full size. They're definitely not full size. That's I got Goldilocks exactly. But and I feel like the pack I got, I was like, this is like a very good like there's variety, which I appreciate. Um, but yeah, I hope they don't

steal my bowl. That would hurt my feelings. And I hope that one kid doesn't ruin it for everyone else by taking all the candy. That's my biggest electrified the bowl. What if I like solid choice, I don't know, not enough to kill because that's just probably illegal, but enough that's more and more important. Like if they still the bowl, okay, fine, like, okay,

I get it, it's you needed the bowl. But if they if one kid takes all the candy from the bowl, that will upset me and Anderson will fully narc Yeah that that will happen is the word you meant to say that. I know. I feel like it will, which would not be cool. People. No, I wouldn't do it. I saw it has been. I saw it happen and I did spot. No, it's and then you go up there and you're like, oh my god, that's so nice.

They put a bull, you put your head in the bowl no candy, and then you're like, wow, this person sucks. It's like no, some little ship had kids sucks. Anyways, that's been my rant. You should hide in the bushes and then shout it's the tragedy of the commons. Don't stop them and don't explain what the tragedy of the commons is, um, but maybe actually then follow them down the street and uh, do tell this story about the Nobel Prize winning scientists who disproved the concept of the

tragedy of the commons. And just tell the like eight year old this, and I promise you they'll never do it again. It's Justice through Pedantry, which is the name of the podcast that you're listening to, just the Pedantry. Today, I'm going to explain the difference between hanged and hung. Uh, and then judge everyone who gets No. I'm not going to do that, Jamie. I was gonna say, I I don't know what today's episode is about. So when you

said that, I started mentally preparing myself. Well, I'm just gonna I'm gonna plow ahead with my script, even though I've ruined some of the jokes. Jamie, have you ever heard of Halloween? Oh? Yeah, yeah, this isn't a story about Halloween. This isn't ano about Halllen. Okay, but so

we were just catching up. But it's a special Halloween episode nonetheless, because instead of talking about a real person today, I want to talk about a fake person or in my head, a more real than real person, an archetype, a god to some. Because it's Folklore Week on cool people who did cool stuff and this inaugural mm hmm, this this inaugural Folklore Week. There's only one lady who fits the bill besides Jamie Loftus. Of course, sometimes this

person helps people. Sometimes she eats people. She lives in the woods and she hangs out with geese. She scoots around the forest and an iron mortar, pushing herself along with an iron pestle sweeping up her tracks behind her with a broom, and her hut sits on chicken legs. Because she is the one and only baba fucking yoga. Oh I feel it's my lucky day. Wow, this is thrilling. I didn't know her house was on chicken legs. That's

very very creative. That's very scary. I know it's actually it's one of the most unique parts about the Bobby yoga mythology is the like the chicken like in many ways. We'll talk about this later, but like in many ways, like she's like a witch, right and then like but her houses on chicken legs, and she like sits in a mortar like mortar and pestle, you know, the thing you grind up. You might know this, but I'm explaining

to some of those are heavy tips. Yeah, yeah, totally. Well, in this way case, it sits in one that's like big enough for a person and then like scoots around like rides it like a little cart. That's so that sounds both first of all awesome but logistically inefficient and probably really allowed. Yeah, that's true. You could probably hear Bobby Agat coming. Yeah. Um, well, she she sweeps away the tracks with a broom as she goes, like to clear so you can hear her, but you don't know

where she went because you got cleaned up. Very tree falls in the woods, except not really at all. Maybe the opposite here, if Bobby Agata moves through the woods and no one survives to hear to tell the tale. Did it ever happen? Then she probably knocked down that tree that she ruins around care. Yeah, yeah, it's a fucking forest. I think the best way to introduce a figure out of folklore is to to tell you a

folk tale. And so I haven't done like a direct reading on this podcast before, but I'm doing this reading, which you can still interrupt, just to put that out there. We don't have to. I confuse that when I went to your when I went to your live event, you're not supposed to interrupt it. Those stood up and started. I just think everywhere I go as a podcast, and

I can interrupt whenever I want. You're the guest at every event, Ladies and gentlemen, Jamie loftus I said, after Jamie walked through the background in a hot dog costume. This is a seven translation of a story called Vassilisa the Beauty or Vasilisa the Beautiful or whatever. But this relation translate the title is Vasilisa the Beauty. M hmm.

Once in a certain country lived a merchant. He had been married twelve years and had only one child, a daughter, Vasilisa, whom everyone called Vasilisa the beauty when her mother died. I mean, everyone says everyone called her Vassilisa the beauty, but obviously some people called her Vasilisa the beautiful and some people Vasilisa the fair Vasilisa. I mean, I appreciate that that's the only thing that we know about her so far. Yeah, I think, let's be clear. She's hot.

She's falking hot. We are talking about a girl slash woman. Is there anything else that you would need to know about this character? Well? No, see, that's that's the thing. It's I need to know coming in that the protagonist is conventionally hot, or why would I continue listening to the story. Yeah, totally flipped my table in lea. Absolutely yeah, and don't worry. This whole story is absolutely there's no

more problems, no, no, anyway amazing. So she's hot, yeah, and she's so oh no, but but she she does grow up, Okay. When her mother died, the little girl was eight years old. On her deathbed, she called her young daughter to her, took out from under the bedclothes a doll, gave it to her and said, listen, dear little Vasilisa, remember and fulfill my last words. I am dying and leave you with a mother's blessing this doll.

Keep it always with you, and show it to no one, And whenever misfortune happens to you, give it something to eat and ask its advice. Thereupon the mother kissed her little daughter and died this merchant. The merchant, after his wife's death, mourned as long as was reasonable, which I don't know how long is reasonable. Yeah, that the fun

that sounds like a fun um. There's certain phrases, and you know you're reading a translation where you're like something got lost there because that sounds so um, I don't know, no feelings. Yeah, yeah, no, totally. I actually switched to this translation from a different translation because the sentence made even less sense than the other translation. I can't remember

it all the top of my head. Um. It was actually from a couple of years later, so I thought it would be more slightly you know, six year more contemporary translation. But post the post Titanic translation really changed the game. Yeah, absolutely, And I totally remember what year the Titanic went down. Oh, it's out. You don't want to know it went It went down between April fourteenth

and April fifteenth, nineteen twelve. I used to sit on my roof every single year growing up during the times the Titanic was thinking and really just think about think about the lives lost during the Titanic. Very sick way to spend your childhood. Were you a goth kid? No, I was. I was just kind of a weird kid. Okay, So I feel like maybe we've talked about that. I don't remember. But I tried to fit into various alternative groups as a kid, and no one quite took me on.

It was like just the wrong thing to mourn. No one mourns the Titanic. I tried. I tried the goth kids, but I couldn't quite hang. I tried the Juggalos, who were like such a nice group of kids at my high school, but they always played hacky sack in a circle outside and I wore a back brace and they're like, you can't play hacky sack happy juggalow. So I just um, I just played the oboe and minded my own business. Okay, Okay, Well,

I hope burns as long as is reasonable. Yeah, more, as long as it was reasonable, And then began to think about getting married again. He was a good sensible man and did not concern himself with the maidens. But best of all, he liked a certain young widow. She knew about children, had two daughters of her own, about the same age as Vasilisa, and of course could keep the house and do all that a mother should do. Okay, the mother married the widow who I don't think it's

a name. Oh, I was about to say, I like the widow is my favorite so far, because I just like the energy that a second wife brings into a story. I have bad news for you about folklore and mother in law's Oh. I know folklore hates the second wife as an aspiring second wife. I'm always rooting for them. Okay, Okay, he made a mistake. He did not find her a good mother for his child. Vasilisa was the prettiest girl in the whole village, and the stepmother and the stepsisters

were envious of her beauty. They treated her cruelly and made her do impossible tasks so that she might grow thin under the burden, and her complexion might turn dark under the wind and the sun. It was indeed, it was no life for her at all. Was she not going outside prior to this? Yeah, she was beautiful so of course she wasn't going outside. That's true. She had

to she had to be kept indoors. But Vasilisa bore it uncomplainingly, and every day she grew more beautiful and plump than ever, while her stepmother and stepsisters grew uglier and thinner from ill temper, in spite of the fact that they never did anything but sit around with folded hands like fine ladies. How did this happen? Okay, that's literally what we do, so I'm still rooting for them. Yeah, yeah, no,

that's that's fair. Vasilisa's doll helped her. Had it not been for that, the poor girl could not have stood so much work. Vasilisa did not eat the daintiest morsels of her scanty, fair, but she put them aside for her little doll, and in the evening, when the rest had gone to bed, she would shut herself into her little room and give it the good things, saying, here, little doll, eat something and listen to my tale of woe. Here. I live in my papa's house, but I do not

get any pleasure out of it. My wicked stepmother is trying to drive me out of the bright world. Teach me how must I behave and what must I do? This is like something that I would do with my American girl dolls and still do now as an adult American girl doll collector. This is, for example, a conversation I would have with my doll logan, have you ever been to the American Girl Doll Cafe? No? Where is this or anywhere? There's in most major American metropolitan cities.

We gotta go. I think I'm like, I wonder if you would like it's um. They give you a three course meal you have to eat with a doll. If you don't have a doll, they'll lend you one. And yes they serve the doll tiny food. And yes you can drink there, and no, you don't need a kid to go. Um. I went for my twenty seventh birthday and I had a hell of a time. I think Margaret would either love or hate it. I kind of fund the fence on how you but it is um. It is fun. Just you know, just tip well and

they cut you off it after after three blue moons. Okay, okay, good. I can't imagine drinking anything else in front of an American girl doll like no, absolutely and and they but and they will not serve the American girl doll a tiny blue moon, although I was hopeful that they might. I mean, it is a kid. It would be wrong, I mean, although some of them are probably older than me.

I was. I mean, I would say that Logan, you know, if if I'm sticking to logan canon, I would say he would sneak a sip of beer, you know, sure as he canomically fourteen, Yes, but a lot of fourteen year olds sneap, sneak a little sip here and there. I'm not going to answer any of this about my own life. First drink, because my parents listen to this podcast.

So I'm back on board with Basilisa. The doll would eat a little and give her good advice and console her for her sorrow, and before morning came, it would finish every one of Vasilisa's tasks while she was resting in the cool air or gathering flowers. The beds were weeded for her, the cabbage is watered, the pails filled, and the fire made. The doll also taught her how to avoid sunburn. It was fine to live with the doll. Does Logan do all that? All that? No, Logan has

never advised me on my skincare routine even once. And I'm just realizing, like the magic of a doll that you're that you're dying relative gives you. Maybe it's that is the skin career. This is the second time skincare has come up on this podcast. Last time it was about the blood of children or the blood of the virgins. Oh okay, I mean that's that is a classic skincare technique, and they don't You can still use it, but you they just call it something different now and I'm not

gonna say what it is, but it's highaluronic acid. That's the blood of virgins. Okay, okay, this gets deeper into anyone who listened to the episode where I talked about Batty, Now you know more about why that worked. Several years passed and Vasilisa grew up into a beautiful maiden. All the young men in town sought her, though none none of them would so much as look at her step sisters. The stepmother was crosser than ever and replied to all the suitors, we will not give the youngest one before

the older ones. As soon as she had sent the suitors away, she would vent her spite on Vasilisa with blows. Now it happened that the merchant was obliged to go away from home for a long time on important business. The stepmother went to live in another house which stood near a dense forest, and in this was a hut where Baba Yaga, the witch dwelt. She was a wicked hat who never permitted any person to approach her, and

she ate men like chickens. I love her girl already, I imagining the the like reveal of Angelica Houston and the witches as Bobby AGAs like reveal into the story. Oh, I love it. Having settled into her new home, the merchant's wife kept inventing pretexts to send the detested Vasilissa into the forest, but the girl always came back without accident. The doll showed her the way and did not let

her go near the bobby Agaz hut. Autumn came. The stepmother one time gave the three girls their evenings work to do. She bade one to make woven lace, the second to nit stockings, but she set Vasilisa to spinning. She put out the lights throughout the house and left only one little candle where the girls were working, and she herself went to bed. While the girls were working,

the candle began to gut her. One of the girls took the snuffers to trim the wick, but instead of doing so, she followed her mother's directions and as if accidentally put out the candle. Wait, what is the candle guttering? Help? Yeah? Yeah, no no, so so a candle guttering is where it's like, oh, it's okay, okay, it's it's doing the scary thing. Yeah. Yeah, it was like starting to go out. Yeah. And then as for snuffers that somehow trimmed the wick, I do

not know what this object looks like. I assumed it was one of those little bells that put on the candle, but that doesn't trim the wick, so there must be scissors on the someone who's listening knows. As an avid viewer of candle YouTube, I can say that a wig trimmer and a candle snuffer two very different investments. You should argue with this and translator, because I think that you would have done a better job. That's sounded sarcastic. I mean it wasn't earnest, but it was somewhere in

between the two. I'm trying to make fun of Okay, now what are we going to do, asked the girls. There's not a light in the whole house, and our stints are not finished. We must go to the bobby Aga after a light. I have all the light I want from my bosom pin, said the one who is working on the lace. I won't go, and I won't go, said the one who was knitting stockings. I have enough light from my knitting needles. Vasilisa must go after the light,

cried both of them. Hurry to Babba Yaga the witch and get it, and they drove her out of the room. Vasilisa went into her little room, set before her doll the supper that she had saved for her, and said, now, dolly, take your supper and listen to my tale of woe. They're sending me to the bobby Yaga after fire, and the bobby Aga will eat me. The doll ate the food, and her eyes gleamed like two candles. Do not be afraid, little Vasilisa, she said, sounding very much like a biblical angel. No, okay,

go whi or they send you. Only keep me with you always. When you have me, you have nothing to fear at the witch's hut, So Vasilisa made haste, hid the doll in her pocket, and, having crossed herself, went into the dense forest. As she went along, tremblingly, a horseman suddenly galloped past her. He was white, his dress was white, the horse he rode was white, and the horses trappings were white. Outdoors, it began to grow light. So that's that's going to be a metaphor, And that's

going to be a metaphor for something. What what did you read ahead of? You already knew this story. Okay, this, this damn doll is cracking me up. This doll goes back and forth between being like an employee of Vasilisa's and then randomly acting like the Godfather, Like I'm picturing the doll with like cutting a steak, being like, don't worry about it, bring me in Witch's house. We're going

to take care of this. No. Like, the doll is absolutely the uninterrogated character in this Like all of the other characters have like these like explanations and like Bobby yagas like this crazy witch, but nothing about the fucking doll that is Like, this doll is very versatile in the roles they can fill in this story because it's like, I I love the doll, and I am picturing like kind of a Danny de Vito voice coming out of coming out of a doll to take to take care

of the situation. I'm just I think the doll represents financial privilege, but I'm not sure. Because you can, just like your mom died, leave to here with this blessing where you don't have to do any work. You don't have to worry about anything because anytime you're worried, you just fall back on it, stand inside and be hot. Yeah that's the moral. Yeah, yeah, morals are not great. Okay.

She walked farther and another horseman gallop past. He was read, his clothing was red, and he rode a red horse. The sun began to rise. Vasilisa walked all night and day, and only towards the next evening did she reach the clearing where stood the Baba Yaga's hut. The fence around the hut was made of men's bones, and the posts were decorated with human skulls instead of doorposts, where men's leg bones instead of shutters were arms. Instead of a

lock was a mouth with sharp teeth. I'm getting the idea. Yeah, I would love if this description went on for ten bab pages. Like instead of a door knob, there there was a little There is a little vial of hair instead of a totally there's a fingernail instead of one of those things that goes on the window. The doorbell was just a guy who was like, you can hit me with a stick. I'll yell. You have to spank

someone with a stick or she won't come to the door. Yeah, And actually, apparently in the original before this translation, they then talked about the chicken legs, but the translator was like, oh, I don't know, that seems complicated, and it was like ruining his vibe. Wow, this translator, I really have some because like that's the part. Yeah, it's a big, it's

a big. Yeah, that's very scary. Yeah, Vasilisa was benumbed with terror, and which obviously doesn't make any sense unless it's the chicken legs, so okay, But Vasilisa was benumbed with terror and stood as if rooted to the spot. Suddenly another horseman came riding along. He was black, his clothing was black, and he rode a black horse. He galloped up to the bobby AGA's gates and disappeared as if he had sunk through the earth. Night had come,

but the darkness did not last long. In the skulls on the fence, eyes gleamed, and it was as light as noon all over the clearing. Vasilisa shook with terror, but not knowing where to run, she remained where she was. Soon a terrible noise was heard in the forest. The trees trembled and the dry leaves rustled. It was the Bobba Yaga coming. She stormed along in a mortar. She whipped it up with her pestle, and she swept away the tracks with her besom bessum which I looked it up.

It's a It just means an old which sproom like cool. Wait, new word for bessm b e s o M. I don't know how to pronounce it. I probably should have looked it up. No, I'm into it. She came up to the gates, paused and sniffing all around. Cried, Foo foo foo, I smell Russian breath. Who is here? Vasilisa approached. Vasilisa approached the old Dame with fear and trembling, and bowing low said, it is I Granny, my stepmother's daughter, sent me to you to get some fire because there's

like nowhere else in town. She could have gotten fire with two days walk. But you know whatever I'm imagining like be Arthur, like I'm trying to I'm trying to get a visual on Baba Yaga. But who do I want to hear storm out and say I smell Russian blood? Be Arthur, I think. Okay, wait, who's be Arthur. I'm just gonna admit that I don't. She's the tall golden girl mark oh ship Okay, yep, yeah that would It works for me. It works for me, good, exclaimed the

Bobby Aga. That is a good actor. No good, explained Bobby Aga. I know them. Live on and do some work for me and then I will give you some fire. But if you do not do it, then I will eat you up. She turned to the gates and cried, hey, my strong fence, give way, open my high gates open. The gates opened and the Bobby Yaga went in, and Vasilisa followed her, and then all was closed tight again.

As soon as she entered the room, the Bobby Agatha stretched herself out and said to Vassilisa, bring me here, what is on the stove? I want to eat? And what do you think Jamie Loftus that that there was to eat which is hot? M m well, I could imagine some homemade stuff, but wouldn't it be better if they were, like maybe some sponsored products. I was just

thinking that. I was thinking, what is better for Vasilisa and Bobby Aga and for you the listener than a hardy stew made of potatoes sponsor of the show, the concept of potatoes. You're sponsored by hardy stu made of potatoes. We are, we are. But I for sure thought one Jamie Loftus was going to come out and say hot dogs. Look, I mean, if there's good and if there's anything that is more likely to have the flesh of of question mark in it, is it not the classic dish the

hot dog? The rumors are not baseless, all right, hot dog horror story. God it's too late, it's almost Halloween already. But a witch who blends children into hot dogs. Oh it's exciting. No one take the idea. That's my idea right now, change this sentence to bring me here, what is on the stove? I want to eat those hot dogs. Never mind who is in them, said the Bobby had gone, and you know what else was in them was all of the other products and sponsors of this podcast, like

these ones, and we are back. And Vasilisa lighted a splinter at the skull's eyes on the fence and began to take down the food from the stove and give it to Bobby Aga. There was enough hot dogs for ten men. From the cellar. She brought bread and meat, obviously long meat and a long bread tube inat casing. Yeah, yeah, beer and snap. I'm sure she's I think I think she I'm trying to think of, like, what is a villainous hot dog? I mean, but she's like I feel

like she would know what she was doing. She would be it would be grilled, it would be natural casing, like she'd be eating good hot dogs. She's not boiling this ship, that's for sure. What about those, um, the really old the like twenty years ago vegan hot dog, the tofu dogs. I feel like that's the most villainous hot dog I can imagine. The Yeah that just like falls apart in your hands and you're supposed to be

like thank you. Yeah, the old dame ate and drank, leaving for Vassilisa only a bit of soup, a crust of bread, and a morsel of roast pig, not even a hot dog. Then the bobby Aga lay down to sleep, saying, when morning comes, I am going out. Keep your eyes open. Clean the court, sweep the hut, get the dinner, prepare the bedclothes. Then go into the corn bin, take forty bushels of wheat and clean it a fennel. Have all of this completely done, or I will eat you up.

After giving this command, the bobby agab began to snore Vasilisa, but the old dame's leavings before the doll burst into tears and said, now eat little doll, and listen to my tale of woe. The Bobba Yaga has given me such a heavy task perform, and she threatens to eat me up if it is not all accomplished. Help me privilege. The doll replied, if you're not Vasilisa, eat your supper, say your prayers, and go to sleep. Morning is wiser than the evening, which is actually good advice, that is

an actual good moral, that is true. I mean, I feel like it's pulled from the same logic of like, don't go to bed angry, don't make any big decisions late at night. Yeah, but this is like the Dolls and Godfather mode again. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. While let's sitting there with a tiny fork and spoon eating the cutting up, yeah,

cutting up a hot dog. It's taking a lot of effort, but they're so confident that you're like, ash, she'll get it, it's mine, and then it starts eating it like um, like when a Lord of the Rings villain is like eating really gross and sickly at a feast, and like it's like a representation. Yeah yeah, and then everyone's like, I have musophonia, please. Vasilisa did so. She awoke rather early, but the Bobby I got was up before her and

was king out the window. The eyes and the skulls were growing dim, and now the white horseman galloped by and it became quite bright. The Bobby Aga went outdoors whistled, and before her appeared her mortar and pestle and bassoom. The red Horseman flashed by, and the sun came up. The Bobby Aga got into her mortar and started off. She spurred it on with the pestle and swept away the traces with her bassom. Vasilisa was left alone and

she began to investigate the Bobby Eaga's house. She was amazed at the abundance of everything, and she could not make up her mind which tasks she would take hold of first. But she soon discovered that her work was done for her already. The doll was just separating out from the wheat the last grains of the fennel. Oh you are my dear deliverer, exclaimed Vasilisa. You have saved me from misfortune. All that is left for you to do is to get dinner, replied the doll, climbing into

Vasilisa's pocket. Get it and God be with you. But now take a good rest for your health. Vasilisa is going to get hit with the invoice while lifetime from this doll to She's thinking, this is like some sort of long term internship. This doll is going to come back for her money. This is by it, okay. Toward evening, Vasilisa left the table and waited for the Bobby Aga. It began to grow dark. The black horseman galloped by the gates. Then the eyes and the skulls began to

gleam the trees trembled, the leaves rustled. Up came the bobby Aga. Vasilisa met her. Is her work all done? Asked the hag. You can see for yourself, granny, replied Vasilisa. The bobby Aga looked all around and became very angry, because there was nothing to be angry about. We've all been there. Okay, yeah, wow hashtag relatable content from the bobby Aga. Very good, she said, sullenly. Then she cried, my faithful servants, my bosom friends, grind my wheat for me.

Instantly appeared three pairs of hands seized the wheat and carried it out of sight. The witch ate her supper, laid down to sleep, and gave again Basilisa her orders tomorrow. Do the same as you did today, But above all, take from the corn crib the poppy and clean it of all dirt to the last seed. You'll cause trouble for someone if the least a bit of earth is mixed with the poppy. Then she turned her face to the wall and began to snore. As before, Vasilisa gave

her doll something to eat. The doll ate it and told her what she had told her the night before pray to God and go to sleep. Morning is wiser than evening. All shall be done, dear little Vasilisa. In the morning, Bobby Aga again flew away in her mortar, and Vasilisa and the doll quickly accomplished the work that was to be done. In the evening, the old hag came home, inspected everything, and cried out, my faithful servants, my bosom friends, make some oil out of this poppy.

Three pairs of hands appeared, seized the poppy, and carried it out of sight. The bobby Aga sat down to its supper, and while she ate, Vasilisa stood by in silence. Why don't you have something to say to me, asked the witch. You stand there like one tongue tied. I did not dare to, said Vasilisa, But if you will allow me, I should like to ask you something. Ask away. Only remember not every question leads to good. If you come to know too much, you will quickly grow old.

Oh scary, uh, scary message. Also, why is the Vasilisa tried to poison her yet? Vassilisa is just come on, come on, yeah, well we'll actually talk about not that I want the Bobby you gotta get hurt because she sounds incredible. She sounds like a legend, and like she wouldn't fall for it. The the like why Vassilisa's a goody two shoes. Well, we'll actually end up talking about okay, cool, I only wanted to ask you about what I saw, Granny.

As I was coming to you. I was overtaken by a white horseman on a white horse and white clothes. Who is he? That is my bright day, so the Bobby Aga. Then I was overtaken by another horseman on a red horse. He was red and in red clothes. Who is he? That is my red son, replied the Bobby Agaw. And what was the meaning of the black horseman who overtook me? Just at your gates? Granny, that

was my black night? All are my faithful servants. Vasilisa remembered the three pairs of hands, but said nothing more. Why don't you ask something more, demanded the Bobby Aga. I am afraid of what you said might happen to me. If one comes to know too much, one grows old. It is good, said the Bobby Agaw, that you should only ask about what you have seen out of doors,

and not what you have seen in the house. I do not like people to tell tales about me out of school, and I eat up those who are too inquisitive. And now I'm going to put a question to you. How did you succeed in doing the work which I gave you to do. Wow, my mother's blessings helped me talk shit and end up in a hot dog. That is I mean, that's your slogan. You have that back patch on your vest. But this is talk. If you talk about what you see in my house? Can I

end up in a hot dog? What is that be gone for me? You daughter with the blessing. I don't want people who have been blessed. And she dragged Vasilisa from the room and pushed her out of the gates. Then she took down from the fence one of the skulls with the lighted eyes, put it on a stick and gave it to her, saying, here is the light for your step sisters. Take it. That is what they sent you here for. Vasilisa hastened home on the run by the light of the skull, and it did not

go out till the next morning. At last, toward the evening on the second day, she reached her home. As she went through the gates, she was going to throw the skull away. Why of course, she said to herself, they won't need the light now. But suddenly she heard a quiet voice from the skull saying, don't throw me away, take me to your stepmother. Okay. Yeah. She looked up at her stepmother's house, and not seeing a light in any window, she resolved to go in with the skull.

The first person she met spoke kindly to her and told her that since she had been away, there's been no light in the house. They couldn't make anything burn, and the fire which they tried to bring from the neighbors went out the moment it was brought into the house. Perhaps your light will keep, said the stepmother. They carried the skull into the house. Then the eyes gazed so steadily at the stepmother and the daughters that it burnt them. They tried to hide, but wherever they went the eyes

always followed them. In the morning, they were burnt to ashes, but it did not touch Vasilisa. Wow, because she she didn't do ship and she minded her own business, Like how good girl. Yeah, you're starting to get you're starting to catch on This is not Bobby a Go's fault that she has used this way. Bobby, you got blameless. Ye did nothing wrong. Bobby a God did nothing wrong?

Is a shirt totally. Then Vasilisa buried the skull on the ground, locked the house up, and went into the city and asked for shelter with an old woman with whom she had no relations, or who who had no relations. She said to the old woman, it is tiresome for me to have nothing to do. Granny, come by me the very best flax and I will spin it for you. Okay, Yeah, that was like more evidence of them. She's acting so weird.

Why is she acting so weird? The three Like, I know she didn't like her relatives and they were cruel to her, but they turned to ash and she's like, better bury this skull and go find someone to adopt me, Like what is wrong with her? All right? But but hear me out if I'm staying with some people. And then I murdered the ship out of them by accident, I might bury and then moved to a different city.

I guess, So, I guess I'm just not expecting this from Vasilisa, who has not done really much active things so far. She was pretty. That's true, she was pretty, and she never got a sunburn, which this story is weirdly fixated on sunburns and just burned in general. Yep ye. The woman brought some of the very best flax, and Vasilisa sat down to her task. The work fairly glowed under her hands, and the thread that she made came

out as smooth and as even as her hair. She made a lot of thread, the finest that was ever seen. No one could equal it. Vasilisa had gone to ask her doll's advice, and the doll had said, bring me an old comb in an old shuttle, even a curry comb. I will do it for you. So Vasilisa got her all that was asked for and went to bed, and the doll during the day made a splendid loom. Towards the end of the winter, the linen was all spun, and it was so fine that one could pass it

through the eye of a needle like thread. In the spring, they bleached the linen and Vasilisa said to the old woman, Granny, take this linen and get some money for it. The old dame looked at the stuff and exclaimed, no, my dear child. No one except the czar should wear such linen.

I will take it to court. What this is a very eccentric area, that's like imagine okay, imagine if you will, mark you you present me with a scarf that you've knitted, and I retort by saying I couldn't possibly wear this scarf. We've got to bring this scarf to the White House. We've got to Joe Biden needs this scarf. I need John mine and wearing this scarf today and I will personally what a wild reaction. Okay, okay, I'm on board that my adult that Taylor the American doult what's wait,

what's your hi? Oh? Logan, Logan, Logan and Tyler are the same in my head. I'm sorry, Logan, same energy. Sorry, sorry too, Sorry to all the Logans and Tyler's out there. Um yeah, okay, so we're bringing we're bringing the Dolls scarf to the Joe Biden of the area. Interesting and what else should we bring to this ours court? Well, I mean you're supposed to bring certain offerings, and a lot of them I think should be sponsored goods and

maybe even services. Okay, okay, well then let's let's let's listen and then pick through and pick our favorite, and we are back and none of those ads are good enough for Joe Biden. Wow. If there's one thing I know about Margaret Killjoy is that she wants what's best for Joe Biden. Nothing that can spreading about. Yeah, much like I feel about the Czar. So she went to the Tsar's palace and kept marching up and down in front of the windows. Bizarre saw her and asked, what

do you want, old Dame. Your majesty, she replied, I have brought you some wonderful cloth. I do not want to show it to anyone except yourself. This doesn't turn into a murder of the Tsar thing, which is really confusing to me. Oh that's a that's a bummer. I was sort of hoping that Bobbig would have it in for the Tsar and something like, yeah, yeah, it's not where it's going though. No, although like I'm like, I probably shouldn't rewrite it on the flash. We could punch

this up, but I think we'll worsh up this. Yeah, these are commanded that would be brought before him, And when he saw the linen, he was dumbfounded. Why did you think you should know? Um, what will you take for this? He asked? It will not cost you Anything's our father, I have brought it for you as a gift. Bizarre thanked her and sent her off with handsome presents. Yeah, it's almost like the concept of folklore is to reinforce values that the society wants people to have. But how

has bring the tsarre? Bring the tsar? All right? Whatever? Fine? From that linen, they started to make Bizarre some shirts. They cut them out, but they could not find a seamstress anywhere to make them. They searched long, and at last there's are summoned the old dame and said to her, you are clever enough to spin and weave this cloth, you must be clever enough to make some shirts out of it. Sovereign, it was not I who spun and wove this cloth of the old dame. It is the

work of my adopted daughter. Well, let her make them, he said. The woman went home and told Vasilisa all about this I knew, said Vasilisa that this work of my hands would not suit them. She shut herself in her room and took hold of the work. She sewed steadily, without once letting it out of her hands, and soon a dozen shirts were ready. The Dame took the shirts the Czar and Vasilisa washed her face and hands, combed her hair, dressed herself and sat down at the window,

waiting to see what would happen. Presently, one of those our servants came into the old dame's yard and said, our sovereign's are wishes to see the clever artist who has made him the shirts, and to reward him from his own hands. Vasilisa and went and showed herself before the eyes of the Tzar. When he saw the fair young girl who there's been no evidence that this character has grown old. Just be clear. I'm very curious. Yeah, thank you for clearing that up. Yeah. When he saw

the fair young girl, he fell passionately in love with her. No, he exclaimed, I will never part with you. You shall be my wife. So the Tsar took Vasilisa town. Yeah place, this place is so stressful. It feels like Bobby Yaga is, or like the Bobby you got is the only person who is reacting to anything with the proper intensity. Absolutely, absolutely, so, the Czar took Vasilisa by her white hands and caused her to sit by his side, caused her to sit by his son cause oh this is so yeah, this

translation is freaking me out, caused her. I'm imagining a soup lex like, I mean, what is marriage in a traditional night like back in the day anyway, But causing you to sit by someone else's side, I guess it's true. It implies lack of choice, and so they celebrated a great wedding. Vasilisa's father soon afterwards returned home. He has not like she's gone off and got herself adopted by someone. He was delighted with her good fortune. Go ahead, and

it was he like, where is my wife at? Where is my step don't where do you care about that? You're right? His daughter has been caused to marry the csar, So his wife, he was delighted with her good fortune, and from that time forth he lived at his daughter's. Vasilisa took the old dame also to be with her, but the doll she kept in her pocket to the very end of her days. The end, the end. This

story is confusing. I have I'm going to go full like the worst kind of YouTuber mode and be like all the plot holes and the Bobby Yugas story interesting, let's get into it. Looks like someone some writers didn't get the message that a story is supposed to have a beginning, middle, and an end. Jamie, you're triggering me. I do not like this. Wait, Jamie, where did you get that hat? What do you call that type of hat? Is that a Trilby or a Fedora? Lady, It's a Fedora.

And in this essay I will be talking about the implications of the Bobbiaga why Vasilisa did nothing wrong? I oh, my god, what I do? That said? That said, I don't have a lot of questions about the Bobby God doesn't even get to come back. That's my said, that's my sadness. She disappears. So one of the things about the stories about Bobbia Gas, Bobbia Gas always a side character, Bobbia Ga sometimes Bobbia guys like the main villain, right,

and this one Bobbia Gas barely even a villain. But Bobbia Gas always a thing that people are tested against rather than like really even a person. In a lot of ways. Um so, so I guess like in the internal logic of this story, like Vassily is a navigating and surviving the Bobby Yaga situation is just like what she needs to get her to get as our husband. Huh, Margaret, I have a question, which is what is the moral

this story? So the moral of the story, as far as I can tell, the more of a lot of Bobby Aga stories is um, listen to your mother and don't trust the bad mother, which is either the stepmother or the wicked witch in the woods. Bobby Aga like often is the standing for like bad mom. It's like as the evil old woman figure. And so basically there's different like lessons. It's who gets thrown against Bobby Aga

like leads to different things. And if you're a young girl, then being obedient is the way to deal with Bobby Aga. And I think if you're a grown ass man, being looking for a lady is a good way to interact with Bobby Aga. And yeah, I don't know, It's it's basically this like fear of the woods, like don't go into the dark woods of the which will eat you. But if you're good and obedient, you will survive that experience.

And what is the scarier thing in this era than an older woman living by herself and seeming to have a nice time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, terrifying. And so I'm gonna talk a little bit. We're gonna talk about kind of who Bobby Aga is today and then when we come back Wednesday, we'll talk more about what it all means, and there'll be another story. There's another story, okay because

this one. Sorry, I'm putting my Fedora on again. What is the so is the doll kind of this like personification of good good mommy, and then Bobby Yaga is. That's maybe the most famous story about Babagan. It's the one I run across the most um partly because there's this really beautiful art from edition of us Alisa the Beautiful that is like metal bands use it as their T shirts. Um, I have a Regana shirt, which is

a really sick metal band. It's a do metal band and they use Specialisa the Beautiful as their art and stuff. But probably for others, Vasilisa is a popular character. That's yeah interesting. I mean I think it's like I think it's because the art. Honestly, there's like this like you know, Russian girl walking through the woods with a skull gleaming light on a stick. It's pretty fucking metal you know. Oh yeah, that was about It was about Okay, I see that shirt at the merch booth, I take out

my credit Yeah, yeah, totally yeah, that's why. No, never mind, all right. And so, so she's the scary old crone that that lives in the woods and stories she helps, some stories she hurts. But in the ones which she helps, she always has the capacity to do great violence. She's never like, hey, little lost friend, here you go. And it's as I was talking about earlier, but now I'm just reading the script anyway, it's the clever girls, the ones who do as they're told, who survived their encounters

with Bobby a gum. So who the fund is Bobby Aga. It depends on the story. You'll be shocked to know this. And there there are some things that they all tend to agree on. Bobbiaga is a wizened old crone who lives in the forest or at the edge of the forest, sometimes underground, but usually edge of the forest. Her hut stands on chicken legs. Sometimes it's two legs, sometimes it's

four legs, sometimes it's goat legs, but usually it's chicken legs. Yeah, I mean, not that anyone asked, But I really love the chicken legs. I just think it's because also precarious, you know. Yeah, goat legs are sturdy. Yeah, chicken legs. Um, excuse me, Okay, sorry, I've bet Fedora on again. No, no, no, this is a it's a good Um. It's your inner self. I'm glad that you're letting your true self be seen.

The house can walk around on these legs. Sometimes it can move around, but more often it kind of stays in one place, and it can turn in place. Um. In a lot of ways, the house is its own entity. Often when the traveler arrives, they can't find the door.

Sometimes the houses no windows or doors, and you can make the house turn around and face you with like the so you can see the door if you say the right command, which one of the examples of the right command is hut hut, stand with your back to the forest your front to me, which is very literal. Oh yeah, I'm saying that all the time. Yeah, totally. Um, that's what I do. That's super helpful. My self driving car that I totally own. That's how I get my car to come to me. Um, it's on chicken legs.

That's it. That would be I mean, if there's anything that's going to get me on board with self driving cars, which feels near impossible. But if we're talking a little chicken legs that can read my mind, maybe plug me in. Exactly, they went down the wrong alley, like focusing on like Tesla and all these like scientists. It should have been focusing on on Bobby Aga, which is why I'm looking for investors company that will No, I'm not going to

try and become an never mind. The hut is surrounded by a fence made of bones, with skull lanterns topping the posts. In some stories there's a skull missing, which is a spot waiting to be your skull. Oh, that is creepy. Inside the hut, she might be lying on the stove, her body stretched from one corner of the hut to the other, with her nose having grown so long it goes into the ceiling. Sometimes her breasts hang

down over a car like a curtain rod um. A lot of old folklore is like really into being like and this lady is ugly, and by that I mean tits, saggy tits. People get really into that people, I mean people loves some some saggy tit imagery when it comes to a woman they're supposed to hate, picking up on some anti Semitic stuff. This is like, I feel like all the cartoon logic classics of a way to characterize a villain in the worst kind of way. But I love her. I love that she. How did she get

so big? I'm not it was sometimes actually a lot of stories she's in ogress and like literally a giant um. And I'll talk a little bit about the origins of that version of it. Uh. Sometimes she stirs the coals of her fire with her nose. Uh. Sometimes she's a regular sized woman and is like rail thin and ugly. Sometimes she has bear claws for hands. Sometimes she has iron teeth, and sometimes has iron teeth like protrude from her gums, either like boar tusks or just like kind

of like sideways like sticking out. Did she ever have guns for hands? Yeah? Probably, Um. I can't imagine a version where she doesn't have guns from hands actually, um. And like one of the things that a lot of there's a lot of feminists who quite like Bobby Agad for some odd reason, and one of the main one one of the things that comes up is that like she just does not give a ship that she's ugly.

She like revels in her power, right, And that's like the beauty of being a crone is like your your past, the judgment of society that wants. Like Vasilisa only has one value, and it's that she's beautiful and obedient. I guess she has two values. Bobby Aga has all kinds of value because she can like funk everything up that she wants and she controls night and day and the

sun and ship. You know, I love that rate of it because it's like, yeah, I mean, Vasily is the beautiful I know we're supposed to view her as the virtuous hero, but it's like everything about her that's considered societally desirable is what is also actively hindering her life totally being any kind of interesting of like, okay, you we think you're beautiful, so you can never go outside

or have an experience and uh the czarre things. You're beautiful, so you actually have to marry him today right now, and you're going to be caused to sit next to him. Is that what it been? Is? Yeah? So it is like she's and and then the Bobby it got well, you know, I'm I'm sure that there are drawbacks, but it's like she's just completely liberated from anyone's bullshit, which does seem to have its merits. And she's a homeowner. Okay, she's a homeowner, I know. And she doesn't have aspirational

like she doesn't. She is her own doll. She is her own you know, godfather figure. She right, she doesn't need a doll. She does in need uh, she's she's in need a mom meet. Although I would I do want to know what her mom was like. Well, we'll talk a little bit about her origins. Um. I think maybe more on Wednesday, but I'm not sure where is it in my script? Who knows? The only way to know is to go forward. Sometimes she has a leg made out of clay or iron or steel. Sometimes one

one leg has been like shriveled down to bone. Sometimes the things that people say about her rhyme like Bobby y aga bony leg rhymes in Russian apparently. And she leaves every day she's off to you know, she very she gets a lot done. She goes off to wherever she's doing in the world, usually to steal children for her meals. Um comes home every night. Out in the world. She rides around in a huge mortar, like a mortar

and pestle. She crouches in it with her knees almost up to her chin, and some of the depictions, some of them, it's like a little bit yeah, and in one hand you wields the pestle, which she uses like a kind of like a riding crop to drive the mortar along. Um, although I've also seen it where like she's like kind of paddling like a canoe along the

ground with it. Oh, I like that again, You're just like, this is going to be very loud, uh and and arduous, which means that while maybe that she's not the most you know, mechanically minded, she must be pretty strong, That's true. I don't think I could if you're heaven that thing, especially if you're in the fetal position while you're doing it. That takes some serious upper arm strength on the bobby

of gospel. And she has three horsemen who are obedient to her, and she's not like you there ride this around for me. You know. Do you think the horsemen are unionized? Do you think they're paid? I don't know. I wonder about the Four Horsemen and the apocalypse, like, is that a collective? Is it like work around? Because if so, I don't know, fucking bring it. What's the

internal drama with the four horsemen? Because you know that there's like polycule, there's a polyguele in there, and you know, like and then there's there's one person who everyone is like, well, if we had to vote one horseman off the island, we all know who it was. Sorry, but we're not going to go there. Sorry, sorry to that horse. Yeah,

that's a good point. In her other hand, she has a broom, which she uses to sweep away the tracks and some of the newer versions of the fairy tale and might say newhere, I mean like a hundred years ago, like the mortar itself flies and then she uses the broom to like sweep away the like basically like the contrails, like the way it disrupts the clouds when she flies, she sweeps it away with the broom. She's often surrounded

by birds. Sometimes it's flocks of blackbirds that announced her coming. Uh, the wind also announces her coming. Sometimes black geese follow her around on her daily quest, maybe helping her find a that. Yeah. I love that. Maybe chickens used to follow her around and then something terrible happened. They kind of like vultron up into the house. Okay, I like

that better. She smells when people are coming in almost every story about her, specifically, she smells that they're Russian, and it kind of reminds me of Jack and this beanstalk, you know, like a fi fi fo fum I smell the blood of in English mm hmm. And that's how there's I feel like there's there's certain types of people they can smell into cure women from the New England area in in a similar way, and they're not afraid

to announce themselves either. Whatever the modern modern equivalent of fi fi faull FuMB is, it might just be dm ngu hi every week until you die. Yeah, it's like line hi hi hi hi, I smell the blood someone who's visibly insecure. Yeah, exactly. Uh. Russian doesn't have a definite versus indefinite article in speech like the versus a, and it uses other context to get those ideas across. It's not like lacking that concept as far as I understand,

but translators often struggle to understand. And so something that has come up a lot, is Bobby Aga specific person or is it like a type of creature? H you know, is she Bobby Aga or she the Bobby Aga or she a Bobby Aga. And the answer to that is yes, she is all of those things, depending on the story. I like that that good answer. Sometimes her name is capitalized in the Russian, sometimes it isn't. So sometimes it's

just like you know whatever, um. And in some stories she has two sisters, their names names of her sisters, don't I'm gonna give you a chance to guess the names of her sisters. The names of her sisters. What is a riddle? Baba and Yrga. No, it's Bobby Yagan, Bobby Yaga, they all have the same name. Have you said what Babba Yaga? Does it translate to anything? Or is it just like yeah? Okay? So then this is

this cuts into this cuts into Wednesdays. But actually this I'm like, I should have put this here, so I'm being such a big So Baba Yaga as two different things. Baba is grandma uh and then a lot of Slavic land languages baba means grandma. And that's why like characters are like being like hey granny, right, um, and I'll talk about some of the ideological that gets interesting, and then you got people have said, oh, it translates this,

or it's etymologically similar to this. But there's like eighteen different things that people think it's similar to as far as I can tell us, basically just a proper name in this context, um, because it's like some people are like, oh, it comes from serpent, or it comes from deceiver, or it comes from which, or it becomes from this, that

or the other thing. So there is like the most common direct translation of Babbiaga's grandmother, which which is very fitting to how because like, oh, there's a grandmother witch who lives in the forest, right, But yeah, sometimes she guards the water of life, which can bring people back from the dead. Sometimes she guards both the waters of life and death. The water of life brings you back from the dead, but the water of death reconstitutes your

corpse because it's like the water of corpses. So if you're like beheaded or whatever, you can't just like sprinkle the water of life on you, right, or you'll come back from the dead entire, right, and then you'll just you'll just be in extreme pain. Yeah, so you need both the waters of life and death. Sometimes she sucks the life out of women out by their breasts. There is quite possibly a fair amount of lesbianism and the older stories that was kind of left out of the

translations into English. And I've only found references to this in like an academic book that's like, oh and some of the subtext of this was left out of the translations, And I'm like, motherfucker, giving this subtext, this is all I want. Yeah, I was like, Um, there's maybe a lot of people out there who would love to hear a story about a mysterious woman in the woods sucking the life out of your table. There's maybe just a lot of people who want to hear that. Yeah. I

think that we could probably make a living writing those stories. Actually, um fifty shape never mind, Um, maybe better than any of that. Anyway, she has and there's actually so Babbia got is the main name that people use for now, but she has dozens or hundreds of names. Uh, Like

most of the iconic figures out of folklore. Um, she's most known for being Russian, but there's versions of her found in pretty much every Slavic culture, and echoes of her can be found throughout the world, and like comparable figures can be found in cultures are around the world. And one of the things that's interesting about her, she's the figure of the witch right, but in most Western European belief which is our individual mortal women who made some kind of pact with the devil um, bobby Aga

is more of a force of nature herself. She doesn't need the devil. There's one origin for her story for her that involves the devil. The Devil's like, you know what I need? I need like a bad bitch. So he finds twelve of the worst women he could find and he throws them into the devil stupot, cooks them up, he inhales the steam, and then he spits back into the cauldron and out pops Bobby I hope he at least made like a sexy calendar with them, the twelve

of the worst women in the world. That's a calendar that would be really appealing to me. Wait, so he boiled twelve women together, and then the Bobby Aga was the result. Yeah, boiled the women together and hailed the steam of the boiling women and then spit and Bobby AGAs was created from the spin of the devil after hailing the steam of the twelve the people that he hired for the calendar. Wow, that's it. That's a very um thorough cooking process. Um. I don't think that's where

Bobby Got comes from. That's like one version, right, but it is a little bit later than Bobby A. Gaza as a specifically constituted mythical character. And when we come back on Wednesday, we'll talk about where she comes from as my cliffhanger. But doesn't we don't have to like end it there if you have like thoughts. But that's why I got for a cliffhanger. No, I mean, I have a million more questions, but I feel I feel

as if all maybe revealed. It might be, but well, first let's reveal Jamie Lofti as a person who has stuff to plug. Mhm yeah, okay, I'm sorry, I'm like coming down from this Bobby Got high. I'm so excited to learn more about her. I've only heard about her, I think only in name. So this is thrilling. Um. I guess what I will plug is. You can follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Um, at Jamie Lofts. Help or uh, you can buy my book about Bobby Yuga's

favorite dish, hot dogs. Uh, my my book all about the history and uh sort of, I can't think of the word. There's usually a big word I use. It's not coming right now. It's all about it's everything about dogs. It's called raw Dog. It's anti dist establishment. Terryan is everyone's go to big word the But yeah, you can buy Raw Dog. You can preorder it now. It comes out next May. It would be awesome if you pre

ordered it. I hear that that's supposed to be helpful. Um. Or you can listen to podcasts including Ghosts Chure my Scary little podcast on cool Zone Media. You can listen to it right now. You can. Uh so if you have anything to plug, listen to Internet Hate Machine on The Colsonian's Newest show with Bridget Todd. Wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, oh yes, okay, I'm on the Internet

under my name. If you search me, you'll find me on the Internet saying I wish I was on the Internet less, and everyone like ha ha ha, and I'll be like, no, I'm serious, and then they'll be like, that's kind of an asshole. Thank you you say, since we're all people who like being on the internet, that's something you can do if you would like, And I will talk at you on Wednesday. Bye. Cool People Who Did Cool Stuff is a production of cool Zone Media.

For more podcasts on cool Zone Media, visit our website cool zone media dot com, or check us out on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. H