Conversations with Jacey Duprie

the podcast. So nice to virtually meet you. You know, I am I'm really close with Amanda Clutes, no way, She's one of my girls, and so when I was watching her on Dancing with the Stars, I was so torn because I have such a fan of yours as well, and I'm like, go a man, wait now, Olivia, I was mocky rooting for Amanda too though she was so good. She's such a good dancer. Oh my god, in saying, she's also just like an angel of a human. I adore her. I adore her, our kids go to school together,

like love her to death. She's the best. Oh that's so cute. How old are your kids? She's three and a half. Yeah, so cute. Well that's a great connecting point because she's the best. I love her so much, But meet you, I know, I agree. Um, do you want to maybe tell the listeners a little bit about yourself, who you are, what you do, just to give them

an idea for those who don't know. My name is Ja C. Dupree and I have been a digital entrepreneur, influencer, blogger or whatever you want to call us for man over ten years. And I just released a book. It's called Liking Myself Back. It comes out on June seven, and it's pretty much about my history, um, you know, on the frontier of being what it means to be an influencer and kind of what that looked like in the early early days before you know, TikTok and Instagram, um.

And it's kind of story about my journey of how I, um really learned to self love, you know, more so than relying on the acceptance of others on social media, which is a challenge. I'm sure we all faced the social media inmplemencers um. And so yeah, it's kind of my journey that's how I got here. I love that I actually can relate to that a little bit because I started my YouTube channel when I was fourteen, so that was almost like eight or nine years ago now,

which is so weird. But it's so different than what it used to be like now, especially because I feel like I took a break from social media and then when I had come back, TikTok was a like a platform and I am so I'm still lost and I'm supposed to be like the same age as everybody that's making all these TikTok's. I just no, no, no, add I look at I look at your account. You're probably

looking at others too. I mean that's kind of what we all do, right, we all learned from each other, and I don't think anyone really knows what they're doing. And I was like, you know, fake until you make it. But you're so right in that. The industry, I mean, technology just advances so quickly, and the industry is shifting so quickly that sometimes it's hard to keep up. UM, But I think it's good to take those breaks. Yeah, totally. What's like your thing that you do on social media

and that you talk about, like, how did you start? Um? Well, I first started out just with my blog. UM. It's called damsel Indior dot com and I would literally just post like whatever I was into. Again, this was like ten years ago when blogs were like the thing. I didn't have an Instagram and at the time and UM, I just posted kind of like style tips, close beauty,

just everything that I was into. I posted about our travels and eventually my followers who had a really close relationship with UM and they were very engaged at the time. I still are, thank god, and we have a very strong engaged audience. I am. I would like kind of post a little bit of myself, not too much, like I don't love being in front of the camera. Here I am always in front of the camera. So in the beginning I would just kind of sprinkle it and they were like, we want more, we want to see

these outfits on you UM. And I just quickly learned that those posts would do the best, you know, they would get like crazy amounts of engagement and we would sell more products as a result through the blog. UM. And then eventually, you know, we started I started Instagram. UM. I started Instagram pretty late. Actually, my main bread and

butter is my blog UM. But yeah, on Instagram, it's really now it's just kind of a document of a documentation of my life really and I share everything from what I'm wearing on a dayta basis, But I would say more it's now lifestyle, especially now that we do have a child. It's harder to get dressed every day and like show people who I'm doing that when you have like a three year old totally. Um, So yeah, it's it's definitely evolved and grown and shifted over the

past ten years, as as humans do and as businesses do. Yeah, I love that. I also relate to that a lot too, because I feel like whenever I think this goes across the board, and I think it has something to do with just our core human beings are a little bit nosy and we love to being other people's business and like see their lives a little bit. But I've noticed too on social media, Um, the engagement is so much higher when it's like personal stuff for me in front

of the camera versus me like talking about something. It's like night and day. But you did grow up in a small town in Texas, correct, That's right, a very small town. So how did you was that? Were you surrounded by kind of like fashion and beauty and all of that are totally opposite at all. I was surrounded by cotton fields and a farm with animals on it, and no, not at all surrounded by fashion. My mom

was really into it. Like for my high school graduation, she got me a Louis Bitan backpack, which was like a huge deal at the time. Nobody Batan in my high school. No one even knew what it want, like was I remember taking it to school like on my last day of school and I was like, I'm ready for college and all the girls at school were like, what is this brown backpack? Like wow? Well, I promised um, but no, it wasn't like a big deal back home to be into fashion. I actually fell in love with

fashion style when I went to college in Chicago. Um My aunts lest had a store women's boutique on Armitage and Lincoln Park, and I worked for her store. And this was back when like Sex in the City was like the IT Show and she would have like all the brands that they would wear in the show in

her store. And so I just kind of like all the pieces of the puzzle kind of started to really put like be put together at that point in my life because I was in a bigger city with more events and things to dress up for, like my sorority parties and stuff like that. And my girls that you know, took me under their wings and they were like, this is how you get dressed. Got it okay? So it was a little bit later in life for you to like really establish your love for fashion. It was in college.

But yeah, like I loved playing dress up on the farm. I would always you know, play like Alice in Wonderland and play with like the flower girl dress that even at my cousin's wedding. Um, but I started to really dial it in in college. I would say, that's awesome. And that's when I'm assuming you started the blog then. I actually started the blog when I moved out to l A. After college. Blogs didn't exist back then. I'm a little older than you. You don't look it, and

h l A, No, I didn't see my blog. I started in two thousand eleven, which was kind of when blogs were like becoming a thing. When I was in college, the board blog didn't even exist. Um, who were there? And all those sites like weren't a thing quite yet. People were still very much into traditional media magazines and things of that nature. There were a couple of um, like style websites, like I would write for Style Chicago because I was really into it, but it didn't quite

exist yet. Um that would have been awesome. Howd it existed during that time would have been really exciting. Yeah. I always think about that though, because I feel like this could be um at not controversial, but I feel like some people may disagree I and I think it's ironic that I'm about to say this considering my job as in social media and I'm like the generation of social media, I feel like, but I do sometimes wish that like it was kind of back, not back to

how it used to be like before my time. I guess I didn't even experience it, but there's a part of me and I'm always curious to hear, like other people that are in the same industry, like their thoughts on it, um about just social media in general, and like where we're at now in two versus how and just how it affects you, I think, like on a more personal level and how much more reach we have, and like, I'm just curious to hear your thoughts on

it because this audience has heard me blabble about this forever. Well, I think it is very very interesting, and I think it's going to be really cool and interesting and hopefully not scary to see how um this affects us like as a society in more years, you know, like, where are we going to be with social media? How is the technology going to change? I was literally just yesterday watching a Ted talk um with the CEO of Instagram.

He was speaking and and he you was arguing that in ten years the technology is going to just shift so much that he's hoping that it it won't be as um like company driven, as like Emily driven. It will be more on the like the creators owning their relationships with their audience without getting like too hairy into like the tech side. I do think that we're in

a place right now. I at least I think so with social media TikTok, Instagram, you name it, um, where people are smart now and they I think that they're more self aware of the impact that it has and the toll that it has on their mental health. At least I believe that they do. I know, I certainly do, But there were some growing pains that came along with that, right um, And maybe not everyone is like they're like my mom, for example, is not quite there. Right, we'll

get there hopefully. Um, but I think your generation unlike mine, Like you guys, I think at least and might be speaking at a turn, but I feel like you know what you're signing up for. Like I didn't really know what I was signing up for when I started my Instagram. I didn't know that ment, Like my whole life is going to just think that people, you know, ten years fifteen years younger than I am, at least like my

friends kids, because that's how old I am. They know what they're signing up for al right, Like if I'm going to post this on my Instagram or my TikTok, like I know what that means. You guys were like way more advanced and smarter than we are. No, not at all. I just think that times are are so different because even I remember when Instagram first came out. I was twelve, I think, and I had made an account and my mom wouldn't let me have a public account.

I had to be um private. And then I remember, I remember this really clearly, and it's actually kind of freaky because I was twelve when I had made it and then I remember like kind of disobeying her and like going on public, and somehow, I guess some people had figured out that um my mom was on full house. So people were requesting my Instagram and I accepted all of them because I was like, hell, yeah, this is awesome. And I didn't know either, like what what that meant?

It was it was a new platform, and I start accepting all these random people, and I remember like swiping down and seeing the follower account go up, and at such a young age, I was sitting there like this is awesome, Like look at all my followers go up.

This is so cool, This is so great, and it's actually like now I think about it in my twenties and I think back to my twelve year old shelf and I'm like, that's really scary that even at that time, like it wasn't really around yet, but that's where my brain went to be like validation, more followers, this is great.

So I think with all like the amazing things that come with social media, also is really freaky for like the even newer generation that's on it, because I mean, it's just so much more advanced now and there's so much more comparison and so many more people online to look at and like want to be like, and it's really wild to me. It's very, very wild, and I am I'm just like, oh my gosh, I'm thinking about my daughter and her joining is well, I'm like, what

am I gonna do? But I think you know, that's when like your mom, like it sounds like she did a great job and trying to protect you from that. Probably yeah, I think she didn't even know what it was like at that point in time. I don't think anybody really knew because I mean it hadn't taken off yet, even YouTube, like there were some big YouTubers and content creators, but it wasn't like a job. I was like, yeah, that was in the very beginning. I totally get that too,

I think. And that's that's also like what to bring it back to the book, That is like kind of what I'm talking about in this book, and I hope that people will take from it. I mean, even girls that are like twelve fifteen, this is a great read for them because, um, I'm diving into my past living in Texas on a farm, feeling like that lost girl who didn't really have a place. Um, but I'm also diving into the negative effects that social media had on

my life, my career, my marriage, my friendships. It really almost like it almost cost my marriage social media did, just because I got so wrapped up into this work, um and not really knowing where to draw the line and knowing where to draw that boundary on on what to share what not to share. Um, you know, how much to really rely on those likes? I mean, my big joke is that, like, I spent ten years trying to get peop to like me, and now I'm liking

myself back, which is the title of that UM. So I'm really hoping that the younger generation will read it or at least hear about it and hopefully take something from it. And just knowing that this, you know, that that validation that you get from the likes, which I myself and I just admitted, was really strong power for me. Um, it takes its toll. And it's really all about you know, finding that self worth and that self validation from within that really matters the most in life. Yeah, I need

to read that. It is your husband, Um, is he like against being on your social media? Is he like not comfortably being a public he used to be. When we met, he was like if you googled his name, he was not on Google. Like he was one of those people, like the mysterious creat That's awesome. I love it. I know now I'm like so jealous. What does that feel like? That's so cool, Like one of those people. Um, And that was really appealing to me. And so when

I first started, no, he was like nowhere to be found. Um. And I talked about this in the book too. We like, as I'm growing and shifting and I'm traveling to like Paris Fashion Week and Dubai and like my career is starting to really take off, Grant wasn't really there and so it really like put a fork between us and it caused a marriage. And so when push came to shove, we like literally separate in the middle of the book as a result of all this stuff just like coming

up and coming up. And so he basically made the decision and he's sitting over there, sorry, very involved. Now. He made the conscious choice to get on the court with me and play ball. You know, he's like, all right, this is a family business. I'm going to invest in

it now. And he just knew the importance of not just being like in front of the camera, but really just participating in my life because this is my life on display, you know, So I have to be worried about hiding a piece of it, um, which I was for so long, So many pieces that I was hiding for so long. Um, it really starts to take its toll on on me physically, mentally, emotionally in my relationships. So I saw that he saw the writing on the wall. Like again, it wasn't about just like him being on

my in my pictures. It was more just him being involved in okay with everything comfortable. And now you google his name and he's everywhere. Sorry, my bad, No, no, he knows. It's all in the book. Is so funny. Um, what about your daughter three is obviously really young? Is she online with you guys or do you keep that part a little bit more private? She's the first year I was like, I'm just gonna go with my gut

on this. It feels comfortable. And then the second your birthday kind of hit and we were still like sprinkling her in. And now when she's she's just turned three, I kind of like I hit a hard stop one day where I went back and deleted her. But what it was, and honestly, this is exactly what happened, and it kind of freaked me out. She goes to school in l A. It's private school, a preschool. No one

knows where she goes to school. I would never posted on social media and I had I've never told you for this out of publicist reach out to me and was like, hey, my client said that you go to the same school as her kid, and I'm like, how do they even know that? And it's because they saw June at school in the parking lot getting picked up and I was like, oh my god, Like she was like getting recognized without me there, and it freaked me out. And this was like a nice woman. She's a jewelry designer.

I actually love her jewelry. I'm a big fan of hers. But it's still like it was just a good wake up call. Wasn't a weird vibe thing, but like it certainly could have been, you know what I mean, Like she goes to the grocery store without me, she goes to the park without me, Like we haven't nanny, We're working full time, and she's like out in the world without me. I would hate for like a stranger or someone to come up with her, which has happened with

my friends in the past, influencers with their kids. So that was kind of a wake up call. We I've been posting her a little bit more lately. We kind of like tow the line where I'm like I could it's a slippery slope and she's my whole life. Of course, I'm just obviously obsessed with her. A lot of post about her, but I have to kind of remind myself that there's you know, a half a million people following us,

and I don't know them all personally. No, Yeah, for sure, that's definitely something to keep in mind, i'd imagine, especially being a mom. But I also get it on the flip side, because, as you were saying before, like you have such an engaged audience, and I sometimes feel like with that, you want to share that personal stuff, and you want to share like the struggles and like the not so great stuff about being a mom sometimes and then the beautiful things, And so I get there's probably

a fine line to walk, for sure. Yeah, it's definitely like done. Some people, some of my longtime followers like we love June, we miss her, like, how is she? And I feel bad you know that they can't see her like every day because I follow some of my girlfriends who have kids. They post them every day. Like my friend um Arial Turnis, She's something navy. She posts her girls all the time, and I'm so thankful that she does that because it's like my way of keeping

in touch totally. But anyway, it's it's it's a line. You got to kind of learn how to toe with your mother intuition. It's hard to ye, I'm sure. I also don't want June to be like her name is June. I don't want her to be like ten or eleven and be like, why did you post me on your Instagram? Mom? I get that too because I think about that sometimes. I think about it when I was like a baby

and I look at home videos. I if my mom had shared those online of me, these home videos, Like there's one video where my sister takes my gumball and I start scream crying, and I'm like, if that was like in a vlog format on some platform somewhere, I would I would kill my mom. Mom. I would be so upset. Yeah, I just wouldn't want that. Yeah, totally.

I don't want that for her either. But I also think it's dependent on like person in a situation because I feel like maybe if you had asked me that I would have a different answer a few years ago. I think now I'm like extra sensitive to like what goes online of me, just from like what's happened in the past. But I feel like, so it is dependent. But um, you just don't know like where you know the world's gonna take you, or you know what's going to happen. I don't. Maybe June wants to be like

I don't know a CIA agent. She needs to be her photos all over the other. Sorry, Yeah, totally. You don't know who she's going to become, and I don't want to, you know, decide for her. Yeah, I respect that. What would you say, like some of the biggest challenges you faced when starting social media and like, let's say somebody's listening right now that wants to get into this with blogging or YouTube or whatever it is. Um, maybe like some advice or what you went through that like

you overcame or tips you learned. Is there anything that stands out? Um? I think honestly, like anytime someone approaches me and they're like, I want to start a blog or I want to start a YouTube channel, Like what should I do? Should I hire a team, joining an assistant, should I hear a videographer? I always just tell them to just start doing it. It doesn't mean you have

to post it or share it by any means. But if you don't enjoy doing it, it's going to feel like pulling teeth, and it's honestly not going to be successful. In my opinion, I think you really have to love being a content creator in order to be successful at it. I mean, you know, it's not like it looks easy because you're good at what you do, but it's really not. It takes a lot of work, it takes a lot of confidence, and I think you have to really be

excited to like video your off doing your makeup. You're like, this is so cool, Like I want to share this with people. For some people, that feels like pulling teeth. The idea of like being a content creator sounds so nice and glossy, but I think you really have to kind of have that um you know, that little piece that not everybody has, that little piece of excitement and joy and interest and curiosity to learn new things and

share it with the world. Um, it's not for everyone, so I would I would honestly just tell people to start doing it. And if you want to wake up every single day and that's the first thing you want to do, then then great, and keep doing it and doing it, and then I would worry about, you know, making it all you look beautiful in your logo and like maybe hiring a web developer to help you with your site. Um in the beginning. My my biggest struggle

I think was for me personally. It was having the confidence to like put myself out there, um and be like, Okay, this is what I'm doing. Because I think a lot of people hear the word influencer and they think of, you know, I a nineteen year old blonde girl bopping around the world taking selfies and she's super self centered. Which is so unfortunate that that we have that stigma attached to you know, what we do for a living and when our job is titled, I think we deserve

a better title than that. Though I was favorite word in the world as influencer. Influencer even mean I'm influencing people like Also, though I think you can relate to this. We didn't sign like. I didn't start social media to influence or as a job. I started my YouTube because I liked a camera and talking to a camera. That was never my intention. So I always think to myself, I'm like, please, don't rope me into this influencer. I

just started it when I was fourteen for fun. I don't want to now be an influencer and leave me alone. I know I don't. I hate it too. I hate it so much, and you do so much more than just that, like entrepreneur, your your television personality, like your podcast host, like there's so many and god knows what else you're doing. Mind this nee is that we don't know about because I'm sure there's a ton. It's just like, oh, she's an influencer. You're like, yeah, I'm with you. I mean,

I don't know. And I think everyone could be called an influencer if you think about it. Like my guy that sold me these faucets on my kitchen counter, he's influenced me, like you know, um, But for me, I think it's getting over that. It's getting over what everybody else thinks um and just really not giving a damn and just going for it and being comfortable with my own skin, which is a lesson that took me many years to kind of learn and I'm still working on

it every day. You know. Do you have any advice or like like a key thing to finding yourself worth? Would you say? Yeah? I think really and this is so cheesy, but it really does boil down to it's gonna it has to come from within, right, So I think finding things to fill your cup up on a daily basis that really have absolutely nothing to do with anyone but you, has nothing to do with your phone or what it's gonna look like or anything. For me,

that's yoga and gardening because I'm old. I love gardening. I just kind of get lost in these activities because they're very meditative for me, and it kind of brings me back down to practicing mindfulness and gratitude UM and knowing what really, really, really at the end of the day matters. You know, to me, that's family, um and

love and and that way. If you if you're practicing these things on a daily basis, at the end of the day, um, you know, you feel like your cups being filled up in all the right ways and not the wrong ones and not getting to boggle down the Instagram's algorithm is often your last picture only got twenty comments, and you're like, what's wrong with me? There's that that's that stuff does not matter, right, But it's tough. I

think it takes daily, daily practice. Yeah. I think it's really hard also for this upcoming generation to feel super secure. And I hope that people listening no, that that's like very okay and very normal because we're being flooded with so much amazing content all the time. But also with that, it's natural to want to compare yourself to people, or to look at this person's life or their hair or their body or whatever it is, and just feel like, why don't I have that, or why don't I look

like that or something like that. Um So, I think that anybody who's listening who can like kind of relate to that, just know that you're not alone because even the people that are behind the scenes, like us posting it and showing the good aspects of our life, we also feel that way of looking to others. Right, Oh my gosh, yes, I mean I beat myself up so badly, especially in the in the very end of my book, I mean all throughout the book, you can hear me

my my inner voice, just beating myself up. And the funny thing is the pictures I was posting during that time, literally sitting first row at the d Or Fashion Week show in Paris, and I'm like having the worst day ever because I just don't feel good about myself and you just don't see that part, and you know, it's

a shame. And hopefully, UM, my book will kind of pull the veil back, pull the curtain back people to see a little bit more of that, because I do think it's very important, um to not be too hard on yourself, especially in this in this industry. Totally is your book, um like different stories for chapters of like experiences or just like front to finish of like social media what you've been through all the Yeah, that's a

good question. It's it's actually front to finish, But it has a lot of stories, you know with them, but they definitely all tie in together. Um. The book starts out, um kind of in the middle of my journey, but we we do a lot of flashbacks in my upbringing to kind of um you know, teach the reader, um more about my background and why I struggle with PTSD.

My dad was an alcoholic growing up, and so you kind of have to shed light on all those past experiences to you know, um, learn more about what makes us tick. You know, we all have things that make us tick in a good way in in a bad way, So we kind of shed some light on that. But yeah, no,

that do your stories are in there. The fun fashion stuff is definitely in there too, you know, going on my first Chonnel show and all that kind of stuff is all in there, and how I got into those shows, and um, how I drew my following, and how I grossed a million you know finally in a year, which took me a couple of years to get. Um, So

all the fun stuffs in there too. So it's also like somebody could read it and take away and learn like, oh, that's how she did that, so if somebody wanted, So it's not only just what you've learned about yourself personally, but also it could probably help somebody if they're interested in this. That's really cool. I grew my following and hired people and the growing pains and learning how to

pay my taxes help work. The stuffs in there Basically everything I learned in the past ten years of being a digital entrepreneur. UM collaborations I've done, Um, the cattiness in the industry. There's stories there about the gossip forums and all of that stuff. This sounds very juicy because it gets a little juicy. That's really exciting. When is the book out? It's out on June seven. Oh, that's really soon. I know. That's so exciting. I know, I'm excited.

I'm nervous, but excited. How long did that take you to write? It took me two years. Wow, So this is like coming up, but it's been something you've been working on. That's so exciting. A new child does look blondie? Wow? I just went dark. You inspired me with your hair. Oh my god, my hair is way too red. Literally, after this podcast, I'm going and dyeing the top a little bit more brown because I don't know. It went ne on red somehow. I don't know what happened. Thank you. Um,

I'm gonna let you go. But just to wrap up, I am curious to know as a mom and in motherhood, how are you keeping up with the trends? How are you finding out like what to post next? What is your secret. That is such a good question. Are keeping young, cool, hip girls around me taking assistance in the past who I'm still in touch with. Haley, Aaron and Nel Sydney are my girls and I love it. Guy. I was on the phone with Haley last night. What did she

teach me? Grant? She taught me a saying that said, I'm I forgot what it was. Would you say, I'm my main my main character era, character era. You're in your main character era and I'm here for it. And I was like, oh my god, thank you so much. What does that mean? So I gotta have my girls around you, keep them around and they will keep you young. Oh man, I'm probably the same age as them and

I want them around me. Tea meal to be cool. Well, thank you so much for coming on, jac It was a pleasure talking to you, and I'm so excited to read your book. Everybody make sure to check it out June seventh. That is coming up like ging myself back. Thank you so much for having me on, and I will continue to follow you. Thank you, thank you so much. I'll talk to you soon already. Bye bye.