Despite their reactions to our attempts to discuss it, our children are looking to us to help them make sense of their sexuality. And while the prospect of talking to kids about sex can feel daunting, these conversations—no matter how imperfect—make it clear to our children that we care about them, are invested in their wellbeing, and can handle discussing difficult topics with them. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Andee Martineau of the Connect Method Parenting Podcast to share valuab...
Aug 20, 2024•50 min
You can’t change what you can’t see. And Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s Art of Desire course was created to help women SEE and understand the cultural messaging that has shaped their relationships to themselves, their sexuality, and to God in both positive and negative ways. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Kattie Mount of the Marriage on a Tightrope Podcast to discuss the upcoming Safely Gathered Retreat, where she will be addressing some of the limiting messages that many women have receive...
Aug 06, 2024•32 min
Last year, Dr. Finlayson-Fife gave an unforgettable presentation on Eros and the Light of Christ. Today we are releasing that presentation in podcast form for all to enjoy! During the presentation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife explores the connection between spirituality and sexuality, and explains how eros energy (the root of romantic love) invites us to transcend ourselves and grow in our spiritual and relational capacity, even in the face of disappointment and uncertainty. Toward the end of the podcast...
Jul 30, 2024•33 min
Want to hear the FULL episode? Subscribe to Room for Two! _____ After twenty years in a difficult marriage, Jack asked Diane for a divorce. Diane felt conflicted in response. Part of her was devastated. She had committed to Jack and took that commitment seriously. Never a quitter, she had been determined to stay the course in their marriage, despite the difficulty. But part of her also felt relief at the idea. Their marriage had been an exhausting one, and the thought of stepping away from a dec...
Jul 27, 2024•29 min
Learning that your spouse has been keeping important truths from you is extraordinarily disruptive. It can be difficult for couples to know how to navigate forward in the aftermath of a disclosure or discovery of this type of deception, but Dr. Finlayson-Fife has stabilizing resources available to help. During this Q&A session, Dr. Finlayson-Fife addressed questions from her audience on the topic of intimate deception (including emotional or physical infidelity, pornography use, financial de...
Jul 20, 2024•57 min
We are all pretty open books, whether or not we want to be. Those around us, including our children, have an incredible ability to map our minds. They “track” our actions, body language, facial expressions, and tone to understand our emotions, beliefs, and values, including our investment in them. In fact, the majority of our communication happens at this non-verbal level. What we say matters, of course, but the meaning of what we are saying comes from far more than just the words we speak. In t...
Jun 25, 2024•36 min
In celebration of Father's Day, we are re-releasing this popular episode from the archive! During this Q&A discussion, Dr. Jennifer discusses the complexities of men's sexuality, particularly within the context of LDS cultural dynamics. The discussion, driven by questions submitted by our Facebook Group members, highlights the pressures and expectations men face, the importance of seeing men's sexuality as a positive force rather than a problematic one, and how couples can create real intima...
Jun 14, 2024•1 hr
In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife takes questions from her Facebook Group members on the nuanced and delicate topic of loss of attraction in marriage. In the discussion, Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses how habituation, boredom, and resentment can undermine attraction, and how gratitude, appreciation, and novelty can foster it. She also expertly responds to questions like: * What can I do if I was never attracted to my spouse? * My spouse has developed self-destructive habits that are impactin...
Jun 11, 2024•54 min
In this conversation, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Julie Hanks to discuss her dissertation research, the ways that church culture has shaped women's sexuality, and how women can create a healthier relationship with desire, embodiment, and sexuality (no matter what stage of life they are in). Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * The importance of agency and self-definition in sexual relationships * Characteristics of fulfilling sexual relationships * Balancing personal desir...
Jun 04, 2024•52 min
It’s tempting for us to use our children’s successes or failures to measure OUR success as parents. But tangling ourselves up with our children this way is not only a recipe for disappointment and frustration (on both sides), it also stands in the way of REALLY loving and accepting our children for who they are. The sooner we recognize how little control we actually have over our children, the sooner we can let go of the fantasy that they prove or disprove our sufficiency (and the sooner we can ...
May 21, 2024•48 min
In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Finlayson-Fife uses questions from her Facebook Group members to drive an important discussion about emotional infidelity. During the conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife explains why emotional affairs are so compelling, the impact they have on relationships, and how those who have experienced emotional infidelity can navigate forward wisely. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * Intimacy Avoidance * Self-Deception * Intimacy vs Closeness * Important co...
May 14, 2024•56 min
Meaningful connection with others is what gives us an important network of support and sustenance throughout our lives; however, creating and maintaining this type of connection isn't always easy. And these days it is easier than ever to avoid the work of connection by distracting ourselves with screens. Access to the entire world in the palms of our hands has tremendous benefits, of course, but all too often we use technology as a way to escape our lives and relationships. As nice as it sounds ...
May 06, 2024•37 min
Making mistakes is a fundamental part of human development. Many of us were taught that if we followed the rules we could avoid the pain and frustration of making mistakes. And while it is true that leaning on the wisdom of others and making wise decisions can prevent suffering, none of us are exempt from the mistake-making process. Because making mistakes isn’t an aberration from the plan, it is a process that is foundational to it. Mistakes, by design, are how we learn. As with all growth, mis...
Apr 09, 2024•56 min
**Learn more about Dr. Jennifer's How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex Course HERE* * When we need the validation of our spouse, we severely limit our ability to be collaborative partners and parents. Growth and collaboration require a willingness to set our egos aside enough to consider differing perspectives and uncomfortable truths about ourselves. When our ego runs the show, we care more about proving we are right than working together to find a shared solution. In this NEW conversation with C...
Apr 02, 2024•40 min
TJ and Ashley’s story is a familiar one for many. Their marriage started out happily enough. They were young college students and enjoyed each other a lot during their first few years together. But things changed when TJ started graduate school during an economic downturn. TJ felt a tremendous amount of anxiety about his financial future, given the dim prospects for most students at the time. Competition was fierce and in TJ’s determination to ensure his family’s economic stability, he dedicated...
Mar 20, 2024•42 min
The process of developing our psychological muscles isn’t all that different from the process of developing our physical muscles. Both are difficult. Both involve discomfort. Both require time, persistence, and patience. And both are easiest when we have a motivation that propels us through the discomfort. Fear, self-hatred, and compliance with external expectations are poor motivators. Living according to our higher selves and striving to embody what we value are much stronger motivators! Our a...
Mar 12, 2024•52 min
In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife takes questions from her audience about desire dynamics and the unique challenges faced by both the higher-desire spouse and the lower-desire spouse. In the discussion Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses how couples can work together to create a more collaborative dynamic and what to do if only one spouse is interested in addressing the desire discrepancy. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * Difficult Conversations * Dealing with Disappointment * Ac...
Mar 05, 2024•1 hr
It has been said that our brains are our most important sexual organs and, it's true--the meanings that are playing out in our minds either consciously or under the surface have a big impact on our sexual experiences. Meanings that expand our sense of self and make us feel alive (like freedom and choice) increase our desire, while meanings that constrict us (like obligation and shame) shut down our desire and kill any chance of us having a passionate, fulfilling experience. Recently, I joined Ta...
Feb 13, 2024•43 min
Choosing to love with your whole heart means accepting the risk of disappointment, loss, and grief. These difficult realities come in many forms throughout a lifetime—unmet expectations, unfulfilled hopes and dreams, shifts in belief, broken promises, illness, and ultimately, death. Facing acute loss is a harrowing and sobering experience, in part because it wakes us up to just how little control we have over our circumstances. But being compassionate towards ourselves in the process and finding...
Feb 01, 2024•52 min
We have a cultural stereotype about masculinity that can often make us blind to the challenges and self-doubt that many men grapple with in regards to their sexuality. While men and women may express their anxieties about sexuality differently, the truth is that men have just as difficult of a time coming to peace with their sexuality as women do. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why Podcast for a discussion on masculinity and how our cultural messaging has i...
Jan 16, 2024•40 min
Conflict is a natural outgrowth of two people trying to forge a life together and it presents a remarkable opportunity for growth if we allow it. When we disagree with our spouse, we often go to behaviors that lead to hurt and frustration rather than making a concerted effort to engage often counter-intuitive, but more productive and collaborative responses. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins relationship coach Anne Nelson to discuss how relationships can grow and flourish, even in the fa...
Jan 09, 2024•30 min
Feeling united in marriage is a big deal, and when your worldview has too little overlap with your spouse’s, it can create a sense of loneliness and even despair. The temptation in this scenario is to try to convince your spouse to see things the “right” way (i.e., your way!). But, when we do this, we set ourselves up for a lifelong power struggle and a relationship unlikely to find common ground. On the other hand, earnestly seeking to understand your spouse’s point of view–how they see the wor...
Jan 02, 2024•52 min
🌲**Don't Miss Our CHRISTMAS SALE --Save 20% (OR MORE) on ALL of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's full-length online courses!**🌲 Several weeks ago, Dr. Finlayson-Fife invited Thomas McConkie to join her and Room for Two annual subscribers for an interactive discussion about embodiment, vulnerability, and the power of mindfulness. This week, we are publishing the recording of this rich and meaningful conversation for ALL to enjoy. Thomas McConkie is an author, developmental researcher, and mindfulness teach...
Dec 19, 2023•59 min
**We have lots of exciting announcements (including 2024 event tickets), read all about them HERE ** Egodystonic. Enmeshment. Sense-of-self. Differentiation. These words and the ideas they represent can be unfamiliar and even downright intimidating when you first start listening to Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s podcasts and courses--it can sometimes feel like learning an entirely new language! But, as with learning any new language, the more you immerse yourself by listening and learning, the more clear ...
Dec 12, 2023•47 min
**Download the Finlayson-Fife App HERE !** As distressing as midlife can feel sometimes, it's a season full of potential. It’s the time when, if all goes well, we start to realize that our attempts to earn our value and prove our lovability to others have been not only been exhausting, but also fruitless. It’s the time when we shift our focus from pleasing others to living in alignment with what we actually believe is best. And as a result, we make greater efforts to live in a way where we can f...
Nov 21, 2023•1 hr
As parents, we are hardwired to focus on our child’s wellbeing. Early on, this inclination serves our children well but, as they grow, if our relationship with them doesn’t evolve to make room for their emerging autonomy, we will keep them from developing the capacities they need to flourish in adulthood and navigate the increasingly complex world around them. As scary as it is to step back and watch as our children take more ownership of their lives and choices, and as hard as it is to watch th...
Nov 14, 2023•1 hr 11 min
** Room for Two HALLOWEEN SALE | Click HERE for $79 subscriptions! ** In this special Halloween episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Jeff & Cathy of the LILY POD podcast to discuss why intimacy can be so terrifying, how we can overcome these fears, and the benefits that await those who are courageous enough to really care, know, and understand themselves and others. Jeff & Cathy are co-authors of the Amazon best-seller Intentional Courtship: A Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress, and Pairi...
Oct 31, 2023•1 hr 12 min
Last month, Dr. Adam Miller joined Dr. Finlayson-Fife and Room for Two subscribers for an interactive discussion about love and loss. The conversation was simply too good to keep contained on the Room for Two podcast, so we are releasing it here today on Conversations with Dr. Jennifer for EVERYONE to enjoy. This beautiful exchange of ideas between Dr. Finlayson-Fife and Dr. Miller will change the way you think about love in the best possible way. Dr. Adam Miller is a professor of philosophy at ...
Oct 24, 2023•1 hr 3 min
Bumping up against the limits of our time, energy, and resources is one of life’s greatest frustrations. As noble as our intentions and aspirations may be, we all are forced to prioritize how we will spend our finite time and resources in the face of limitless demands and opportunities. Recognizing our personal and professional limitations and being deliberate in the choices we make, allows us to bring our best selves to our careers, families, and lives in general. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson...
Oct 10, 2023•41 min
The 2023 Restore Conference (a Faith Matters Gathering) is just around the corner! This year, Dr. Finlayson-Fife will be presenting on Eros energy and how this expansive, transformative, and transcendent energy is connected to our spirituality. Today we are releasing the recording of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's 2022 Restore presentation, "Developing Sexual Wholeness." In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses the integration of spirituality and sexuality from an LDS theological perspective. She als...
Oct 03, 2023•40 min
