What counts as an emotional affair? In this episode of Conversations on Sex Addiction and Relationships, Wendy Conquest, Tim Stein, Jeanne Vattuone, and Dan Drake unpack emotional affairs. How they begin, and why they can be deeply painful even without physical cheating. The conversation will look at how emotional affairs can blur lines through texting, personal disclosure, and unmet emotional needs, especially when someone starts turning outside their primary relationship for support or intimac...
Apr 21, 2026•21 min•Ep. 243
What does it really mean to be a sex addict? In this episode of Conversations on Sex Addiction and Relationships, hosts Tim Stein, Jeanne Vattuone, and Wendy Conquest unpack the confusion around sexual compulsivity, pornography use, betrayal trauma, and intimacy issues. They explore how to tell the difference between normal sexual behavior and addiction, what red flags to look for, and how shame, secrecy, and early exposure to sexual material can shape lifelong patterns. Join the discussion abou...
Apr 07, 2026•26 min•Ep. 242
When someone is caught in the cycle of sex addiction, it can appear that their only value is acting out in the addiction itself. But beneath the surface lies something much deeper. In this episode on Conversations on Sex Addiction and Relationships, Tim Stein, Wendy Conquest, and Dan Drake unpack what values really mean in sex addiction recovery. They explore the disconnect between what addicts say they value, like connection, honesty, and loyalty, and the behaviors that often contradict those b...
Mar 24, 2026•21 min•Ep. 241
In this mailbag episode 'The High-Functioning Addicts' on Conversations Podcast, Wendy Conquest, Tim Stein, and Dan Drake tackle a listener’s question about “high-functioning” sex addicts. These are people who appear to have everything under control yet still find themselves in patterns of secrecy, betrayal, and shame. What happens when addiction wears the disguise of success? The Conversations Podcast hosts explore the subtle defenses that protect the illusion of control, the difference between...
Mar 10, 2026•23 min•Ep. 240
Conversations Podcast hosts - Wendy Conquest, Dan Drake, and Tim Stein sit down to name the everyday dynamics that quietly erode even committed relationships. They move beyond sex addiction to look at what harms connection in “ordinary” couples: assumptions and misattunement, the numbing presence of smartphones, the difference between healthy anger and aggression, dishonesty and lack of authenticity, and the pull of fantasy over reality. Using concepts like the “three H’s” (Do you want to be Hel...
Feb 10, 2026•43 min•Ep. 239
Betrayal shatters your world. Can you find a way to be brave and heal? Join Jeanne Vattuone, Wendy Conquest and Dan Drake as they speak with this week's Podcast Guest, Tammy Gustafson, on Conversations. Tammy unveils her 6-year journey writing Broken to Brave, sharing her four phases of healing after intimate betrayal. From dysregulated nervous systems to demystifying the path forward, this episode offers betrayed partners clear guideposts, honest hope, and proof that thriving is possible. Avail...
Jan 27, 2026•41 min•Ep. 238
When does simply noticing someone cross into objectifying them? In this thought-provoking conversation, Wendy Conquest, Jeanne Vattuone, and Dan Drake unpack the difference between normal human noticing and objectification — a key theme in recovery and relationships. They explore questions like: - Can someone in recovery notice someone’s attractiveness without crossing a boundary? - How can betrayed partners feel safe in a world full of triggers? - What role do stress, self-awareness, and truth-...
Jan 20, 2026•20 min•Ep. 237
Technology has transformed nearly every part of modern life from how we work and communicate to how we seek comfort, connection, and even therapy. But as it continues to simplify daily tasks and free up time, a deeper question emerges: what do we choose to do with that time? In today’s episode, we explore the double-edged nature of technology, its potential to connect us, and its power to isolate us. They discuss how digital tools have reshaped connection, mental health, and even addiction, espe...
Dec 27, 2025•4 min•Ep. 235
Is secrecy a core part of pornography addiction — or just one possible sign of a deeper struggle? In today’s episode, we explore the complex intersection between porn use, shame, secrecy, and addiction. They unpack what “problematic use” really means, why some people hide their behavior while others don’t, and how early experiences and family culture can shape an individual’s understanding of sexuality and self-control. Together, the panel discusses: - Why secrecy may (or may not) signal addicti...
Dec 23, 2025•5 min•Ep. 236
What happens when men are the ones betrayed by sex addiction? In today's episode, author and therapist Adam Nisenson joins the Dan Drake, Wendy Conquest, Tim Stein and Jeanne Vattoune to unpack a topic rarely discussed — male betrayal trauma. Through his book A Man’s Guide to Partner Betrayal, Adam gives voice to men who’ve been silenced, shamed, or overlooked in conversations about infidelity and healing. Together, the panel explores: - Why betrayal hits men differently and how society teaches ...
Nov 22, 2025•38 min•Ep. 234
When betrayal strikes, it’s not just pain, it’s the kind of anger you’ve never felt before. In this episode, the panel talks about how to feel and express anger without going into rage. You’ll hear honest stories and professional insight on: - Why anger feels powerful in the moment but hollow afterward - How men often feel their anger isn’t validated - Healthy ways to express and release rage without letting it consume you - The importance of writing, processing, and releasing emotional energy S...
Nov 18, 2025•5 min•Ep. 233
Is betrayal trauma really different for men and women? Most men do not come into therapy later rather than sooner. Men feel isolated for most of the betrayal trauma experience. Women usually over-function during the BT experience especially earlier in the journey. Join the conversation: Do you think men are given the same emotional space to heal as women? Drop your thoughts below. Subscribe for more open, unfiltered discussions on healing, relationships, and emotional recovery. Turn on notificat...
Nov 15, 2025•5 min•Ep. 232
Sex addiction takes its toll on the addict and the partner. Listen in for physical symptoms to know about. Subscribe for more powerful discussions on healing, relationships, and emotional recovery. Join our community for new uploads every week. #EmotionalHealing #Relationships #TherapyTalk #Anger #RecoveryJourney #MentalHealthAwareness #AddictiontoSex #BetrayalTrauma #Cheating
Nov 12, 2025•6 min•Ep. 231
Anger after betrayal can feel overwhelming, confusing, and even “out of character.” In this episode of Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships, Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck joins Dan Drake, Jeanne Vattoune, Tim Stein and Wendy Conquest to break down the reality of betrayal trauma anger, why it shows up, how it unfolds over time, and what tools can help process it. Whether someone is facing infidelity, broken trust, or betrayal in relationships, this conversation offers clarity, validation, ...
Oct 30, 2025•35 min•Ep. 230
When betrayal is discovered, anger can feel overwhelming. In this episode of Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships, we sit down with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck to explore how betrayal trauma anger shows up both immediately and over time. Dr. Hollenbeck explains why betrayed partners often experience anger in waves as more consequences and realizations surface, not only at discovery, but months or even years later. This conversation validates the deep emotional impact betrayal has on bot...
Oct 29, 2025•5 min•Ep. 229
In this upcoming episode of Conversations on Sex Addiction and Relationships, the team explores how betrayal trauma extends beyond sexual infidelity with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck. While sexual betrayal is often the most visible form of hurt, many partners experience deep wounds from emotional betrayal, financial secrecy, or broken trust from friends, family, and community members. Crystal shares insights from her research and introduces the CALMING Model, a seven-phase approach to processing anger...
Oct 28, 2025•5 min•Ep. 228
In this episode of Conversations on Sex Addiction and Relationships: Partner Wants to Have Sex and Sex Addict Doesn't We explore the painful dynamics of betrayal trauma, intimacy anorexia, avoidance, childhood wounds, entitlement, and fear that often lie at the heart of these behaviors. 👉 Whether you are navigating betrayal, supporting someone in recovery, or simply curious about intimacy dynamics, this discussion provides valuable insights into the complexity of sex addiction, emotional avoida...
Oct 27, 2025•21 min•Ep. 227
In this episode, we explore the complex impact of sex addiction on relationships, focusing on the grief, loss, and emotional struggles faced by betrayed partners. Unlike addictions to substances like alcohol or drugs, sexual betrayal carries unique challenges, affecting both the addict and their partner on deeply personal levels. We discuss: Understanding the addict’s unconscious drives and needs The partner’s journey through grief, anger, and healing How empathy and deconstructing behavior can ...
Oct 25, 2025•4 min•Ep. 226
In this episode, we dive into a listener question about a sex addict who withholds intimacy while engaging sexually with others. Many partners struggle with betrayal, confusion, and grief when their spouse avoids connection at home but seeks it elsewhere. We explore the concept of intimacy anorexia, why addicts withdraw sexually, and what it might mean for the future of a marriage. Our discussion covers: Recognizing patterns of sexual avoidance and betrayal Understanding the emotional impact on ...
Oct 21, 2025•5 min•Ep. 225
In this episode, the Conversations team explore why some individuals seek emotional or physical validation outside their intimate relationships. Often, it’s not about sex but about fear, trauma, or unmet emotional needs in the primary relationship. They discuss how past experiences, including childhood trauma and early relationship patterns, can create unconscious behaviors that affect trust and intimacy in adult relationships. Viewers will learn about: How fear and avoidance shape relationship ...
Oct 18, 2025•6 min•Ep. 224
What happens when a betrayed partner feels invalidated, not only by the one who hurt them, but also by a professional who should be offering support? In this conversation, experts discuss how the way a question is worded can shift the entire meaning, and how outdated therapeutic approaches may unintentionally cause harm. The discussion also highlights the painful reality for betrayed partners who often feel they must advocate for themselves—not just in the relationship, but even with the therapi...
Sep 30, 2025•5 min•Ep. 223
What happens when a betrayed partner is told that their trauma is detrimental to an addict’s recovery? In this discussion, we unpack why this perspective is outdated, harmful, and rooted in misunderstanding. We explore the difference between sobriety and true recovery, how shame resiliency plays a role, and why betrayal trauma responses are valid—not intentional attempts to sabotage healing. Recovery requires accountability, empathy, and facing reality, not avoidance. Key insights in this video:...
Sep 27, 2025•5 min•Ep. 222
In this episode, Tabitha Westbrook talks and sexual abuse within the church, childhood and with being married to a sex addict. She weaves neuroscience, embodiment, and story into her work with survivors of betrayal trauma and sexual harm. Tabitha shares why understanding your nervous system, connecting with your body, and reclaiming your voice are essential steps in the healing journey. This episode explores: - How trauma lives in the nervous system - The power of naming your story - Reclaiming ...
Sep 23, 2025•38 min•Ep. 221
How do you begin healing from trauma especially when self-hatred feels like second nature? In this honest and hopeful episode, Dan Drake, Tim Stein, Jeannie Vattoune and guest Tabitha Westbrook speak directly to survivors at the beginning of their healing journey. They explore what it means to show kindness to yourself, how deeply harmful theology can distort your self-worth, and how to take small, meaningful steps toward believing you are lovable and valuable, whether you're faith-based or not....
Sep 20, 2025•5 min•Ep. 220
How do you start a conversation about sex and trauma in the church—one that feels safe, honest, and healing? In this powerful episode, therapist and author Tabitha Westbrook shares the surprising origin of her new book on sexuality and healing for survivors of trauma. What started as a single teaching session at a retreat turned into a book that gives language to the experiences many survivors never thought they could say out loud. Tabitha reflects on writing from her own story, the importance o...
Sep 16, 2025•5 min•Ep. 219
How has purity culture in evangelical Christianity shaped views on lust, sex addiction, and shame and what needs to change? In this powerful conversation with Tabitha Westbrook we unpack how distorted teachings about lust and responsibility create division between men and women in the church. They discuss the deep harm these messages cause, the rising incidence of addictive behaviors, and the urgent need for the church to evolve. Key topics include: - Misconceptions about lust, sin, and personal...
Sep 13, 2025•5 min•Ep. 218
We will be exploring the language around binge/purge cycles, acting in versus acting out, and the idea of switching addictions or the “whack-a-mole” effect. The discussion digs into the difference between sobriety and recovery, why consistency matters, and what partners can look for when trying to determine if change is genuine. Have a question you’d like featured in a future mailbag episode? Send it to conversations.sar@gmail.com If you find this episode helpful, remember to like, subscribe, an...
Sep 09, 2025•25 min•Ep. 217
They haven’t acted out in a while but is it recovery… or just the purge phase? In this episode, Dan Drake Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein take on a powerful listener's question about the binge-purge subtype of sex addiction. When someone stops their acting out behavior for long stretches of time, it can look like sobriety but is it actually recovery, or just a temporary pause in the addiction cycle? The discussion explores what binge-purge really means (and how it's different from recovery, sobrie...
Aug 30, 2025•6 min•Ep. 216
How can you tell if someone is truly in recovery or just white-knuckling their way through another cycle of sex addiction? In this deep and practical conversation, Dan Drake, Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein explore the difference between sobriety and true recovery. Sobriety is what someone doesn't do. Recovery is what they do. And that distinction makes all the difference. Using analogies like beach balls under water, binge/purge cycles, and emotional suppression, they unpack the red flags that in...
Aug 26, 2025•5 min•Ep. 215
How do you measure trust after betrayal and how much is enough to stay? In this honest and practical conversation, Dan Drake, Tim Stein and Jeanne Vattuone explore the “continuum of trust” and how partners can assess where they are and what they need after betrayal trauma. They break down how both the partner and the addict play a role in rebuilding what’s been lost. This episode is packed with clinical wisdom and tangible steps for those navigating the rocky path of recovery, relapse, and recon...
Aug 23, 2025•5 min•Ep. 214
