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That people probably talked about Dog Man. forever around that area do you think one of the reasons why egypt was so fabulous is because it was just a bunch of dog men walking around probably i mean you guys know islam started mexico right uh yep Thank you. Yeah. Welcome to Deepwater. And they crank the 5G up, and then we just all get shit. and lucifer is in the vatican yes oh okay got it i think space is probably like just a giant liquid Conspiracy Social Club, aka Deep Waters.
We're in it, dude. Are we already in it? Yo! I know nobody likes sports here, but it is a great day. So we're excited. I'm in a good mood, even though I got wrecked. by Mexicans today. Racked in jujitsu. I am chum in a shark tank. Are there a lot of Mexicanos up in there? Yeah, it's Van Nuys. Yeah. 10th Clan Van Nuys, home of choke out Mexicans and Asians. Asians take that shit very serious. Are the Mexies bendier than you are? No. Uh-huh.
They just have ham hocks for legs. Really? And you can't get around their guard at my level. Sturdy. Yeah, they're just ham hocks. Well, you can't get around a lot of guards, though, right? I can't get around a lot of guards.
Do you feel the burning in your lungs, the blood in your esophagus, the kind of iron taste when you're rolling? No. Okay. I love it. I love it, but I am getting murked. Thought about wearing a Fitbit to one of these classes? Oh. i just i just walk out i try to sneak out at the end because i'll put my time classes hour and a half
At rate hour and a half, I'll go, gotta go. And then I just slowly move like a glacier out of there. I wore a Fitbit Muay Thai for a while just to get some numbies. Yeah. Dude. Say numbies? Heart rate goes up to 185 when you're sparring. I do love sparring. It's a really, really good. Do you like getting hit? There's guys who like to get hit. No, I do not like getting hit. I do not like getting hit. Dude, getting your bell rung is the worst. Sucks, dude.
Something happens when I fight. I go numb. When I get a little, I don't feel the punches, but I get sad. Young Christian Warriors. We fight for love. no what why don't you why are you getting the song around christian warriors They fight for love. Guys, we're in it. You know what I could never do? Everybody's banging today. All my cousins could do that thing with their cans. I could never do that. Now you've moved to a different, you've both moved.
to different brands. You've left me behind. Oh, dude, I had to hop back on the train because the Ons weren't cutting it for me. Oh, they weren't good enough. No, not good enough. But you're into some other ones now. Yeah, the Lucy's finally gone.
Yeah, I do. Mango flavor. There's something about it with my stomach that makes it... I didn't realize that I maybe had a perpetual tummy ache for the last... my life but now that i've switched to these it's not quite it's gone away it's a hell of an infomercial speaking of poop gas i um dude the bathroom's here There's no ventilation. I walked into the bathroom when I got here just to kind of clean things out a little bit. Yeah, get ready. You want to get up? Almost threw up.
There was a guy in there that was doing something truly unholy in there. I mean, just disgusting, dude. People turn into their cubicle and they sit in these bathrooms. for 15 20 minutes i will hear people just watching youtube videos it's like Read an article or something. Be quiet. A dad was yelling at his son because in the garbage next to the shitter was chicken wings.
dumping and eating at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you got to stay replenished. You really do. You can't lose too much life for us. It's so crazy. People shit and then wait and then eat. Not this guy. Now, you guys know when you look at your phone on the dumper, that you are actually worshiping the God of crap. That's a literal story.
That's a literally true story. No, it's not. No, it is. It's a black mirror and you're worshiping the God of crap. The God of crap. What does that mean? There's a God of the old Greek. and you're worshipping him by looking into a black mirror. Don't think there's a Greek god of shit. Yes, there is, Dylan. Go ahead and look that up. Is there a god of crap? Yeah. Sturculius? Yeah. Sturculius is the Roman deity associated with manure and odor, often considered equivalent to the god.
Oh my God, a pseudonym for Saturn. You worship Saturn when you watch your phone. Watch YouTube while you deuce. You want to ring it, or is that too soft a V? That's too early. Yeah, it's a little bit too early. Too early. Tickets at SamTripley.com. SamTripley.com. New dates coming up. Please come out if you're in the L.A. area. Please come out and see my revival show. I'm very excited about that. It's going to be an hour of comedy, politics. Dylan, you want to do five minutes? Perfect.
Dylan will be there doing five minutes. And my friend, she plays like Legion halls. I'm going to start doing that. There's these really nice rooms and they'll... You can rent it out for no money. What do you mean a Legion hall? Sounds spooky. Like some weird Legion hall of some old dudes. What the fuck is a Legion hall? It's just a hall of Legion. Look up Legion Hall. Dude, I really wish you could explain stuff better. What does it say?
A building or venue primarily used as a gathering place for members of the American Legion or similar veteran organizations. Oh, okay. And they're gorgeous rooms and they are available. I wouldn't think that you would... walk anywhere near that stuff you hey man if i can keep most of the door i'll go and bang bro because uh the royal canadian legion i think that's who uh disappeared all those indigenous youngsters probably ah i mean it gets dark
oh my god so on uh on uh we got a great show today but dude the craziest thing that dylan will never subscribe to this Is that any only fans? uh there's this idea out there guys that you know we live in a simulation that we constantly have this resetting of of our societies
There's also this theory called the little season. Have you guys heard of the little season? The little season. That we're at the end of the little season. Do we sound okay, by the way? Yeah. How's the camera going? Camera work. As long as it's working, it's all that matters. I think we talked about this before. Is this the fourth turning kind of shit? Well, this is that Satan has been reigning for 250 years, and it's coming to an end.
anyways okay the whole theory that that which fits in the sataria stuff is that is that jesus our reign for a thousand years that's where all this amazing architecture come from So in Romania, the world's heaviest building is there. And they have tried to convince people that it was built in the 70s and 80s, yet there's no pictures of it being built. The only thing you can see is pictures of it being cleaned off because they think they...
They removed all the dirt from it. It was like a mountain, and they found this gorgeous building. Wait, when was it built? In the 1800s? No, in like the 70s. That's what they're trying to say, yet there's no pictures of it. It kind of, it does have like 20. Does it say what it was? It's got 20th century vibes. It was opened in 1997.
So you think that, well, I want to clarify something. Yeah. So you think that mountains and large, large stones are petrified giants? No, I think some could be, possibly. Possibly. It's convenient. So if you... Oh, there. These are the only pictures. What is that? That looks like a drawing. A drawing. What are you, from Jersey? That looks like a drawing. Look at that. Can I? It's them just cleaning it. Ryan, is that a drawing? No, it's just like 240p.
Dude, you are the most Gen Z dude I've ever... It's just 240p, bro. Bro, he's not Gen Z. He kind of is. How about this kid? I'm going to see Sinners again in two... What is it? 2761? What did he say? 2761? Some film shit. This guy texted us. Sinners got me creamy? Sinners got me creamy? Why? Because it just got my film boner. going. Why? Because the chicks were hot? Yeah, well that too. From the chat, there's a lot of spitting in the mouth? There was spitting in the mouth. Why is that hot?
You know. He's Gen Z. He's a depraved fuck with a giant dick. Yeah. It's just like Haley Steinfeld spitting in. Yeah. Oh, so she's spitting in his mouth. Oh, yeah. Which seems to be the thing. Yeah, yeah. It was drippy, too. It was very drippy. It was super drippy. It was like a drippy, and then it was kind of like a called out for dripping, and then it was like...
Oh, you want me to do it right? Oh, so she did a little bit, a little shy, and then he's like, that's the best you got? And she just tsunami-ed him after that? Well, she... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. No spoilers, sorry. Spoilers? Come on, Ryan. This boomer over here doesn't like spoilers.
Us young guys are cool with it. Yeah, don't spoil anything, Ryan. Come on. So can I say something? I would love to hear it, dude, because I'm sure it's going to be positive, and you're going to be totally in alignment with me. A little unimpressed by this building, I got to say. It's the heaviest building in the world. Well, I mean, heavy things don't necessarily mean good, you know. Oh, there's some thick bitches out there that are good. Yeah.
I know, but not like super thick though, right? No, not too thick. I don't want to hear you. What's your limit? Deuce and a half? No. I don't know what the answer to that is. It's all portions. What if it's all in their tits and ass? You're like, okay, that's not so bad. Yeah. Dude, what is going on with the Downs Rising stuff? It's like these Chinese... you know um allies that we're seeing uh it's just i'm i can't i can't trust any filters but some of them are legit
It's just all of these dimes with downs. Dimes with downs, bro. RFK is trying to take that away from you. Yeah, how dare you? What do you mean RFK's trying to take it away from us? He's trying to take out all the dyes. There's going to be a real big movement about discussing autism. How dare he? No, I'm cool with that part. Yeah. The hot balance, you don't touch them with that voice. It's like, get out of here, man. It's time. It's not a goal.
it's like quit it dude freaking quit it um okay so great show today um that was uh built in the 70s opened in the 90s and wasn't part of a giant Okay. Right? No pictures of it being built. Just... People polishing it off. So what are they doing in there then? It's so secret, dude. Well, it's obviously not a secret. It's a metaphor. That means secret. That's what metaphor means, secret. No.
Okay. I just can't. What do you want to talk about? I just thought that was an interesting story. No, it is interesting. Dude, Pope died? New one's going to be a real Nazi bag. Oh, my. And then you have your guys' favorite movie that just came out right around then. Yeah, it's our favorite movie. It's our favorite movie. The memes with Fat J.D. Vance taking him out are the best. Fat J.D. Vance has a much better chance of getting elected.
than regular J.D. Vance. He just puffs out with that baseball mitt face. Yeah, he's like Majin Boo. yeah dude fat jd is my favorite jd fat jd is the best but i guess i saw something on x.com I love that you call X. It's so... yeah it's for everything bang um What great branding. That cost 120 grand.
Well, he bought X.com a long time ago. He wanted to turn PayPal into X.com. That didn't happen. So he kept the... the the name and the the address and he just i'll just buy twitter and do it so the pope dies He was a goddamn shit lib. rebound the other way i would imagine yeah whoever they get you know he's shady nobody gets to that position it's like president who's this guy gender ideology is a luciferian refusal to receive a sexual nature from god
Who's this guy? Who is that guy? Cardinal Robert Sala. Robert Sara. This guy can't stop talking about sexual nature. Gender ideology is a Luciferian refusal to receive sexual nature from God. Yeah, I think he might be... He's up. They want a black pope so bad. Gilbert had the funniest bit. about it because they were, because before this Pope,
They were, you know, and they were deciding everyone was hoping for a black Pope. Yeah. And then Bill Burr had this great bit about how, like, all the black Kongs were like, you can't mess with black Pope wearing his hat. I went walking crazy, making bitches. Yeah. Now, he doesn't seem like a banging bitches kind of guy, but he does seem like...
Very serious. Yeah, very serious. Very serious. The dark Pope. He reminds me of the bad guy in Breaking Bad with the chicken. Gustavo Fring, the chicken man. Yeah. That look looks like he's like, what do you mean crystal meth is? Oh, dude, that is a very Pollo Romano look right there. Very Pollo Romano. Super Pollo Romano right there. Good Lord. I'm scared of that guy. Yeah, that's a scary Pope. So I saw something on x.com where evidently Pope died in 1919 and 1939.
Triggering both of the great wars. Oh my gosh. Really? wow fun unfun facts holy cow unfun facts is right that's pretty wild now ratzenberger or whatever i think there are plenty of popes that have died in between uh world war one and
Well, you know what's so crazy about this? This Pope was around for 13 years. I thought he just got the job. That's what I thought too, dude. I was like, man, these Popes are going to hang around because we lost crazy german probe omelet or whatever his name was benedict omelet one of the funniest i forgot his name at the comedy store
He had a name at the comedy store? No, there was a comic who did a funny joke about Pope Benedict here. Pope Benedict, you ain't no omelet motherfucker. I love black comedy. i want to be black comics so badly you ain't no omelet motherfucker Oh, go up a little bit. Why is there all that space there? What's our version of that? You're not an omelet, you idiot. Yeah. It just doesn't land. Sorry, you're not an omelet. You're not an omelet, idiot. Okay, you might be a waffle.
uh okay so how many have we had dead since world war ii we've got one two three four five Dude, they get clipped pretty good. Yeah, I miss Pope John Paul. He was the best. I'm sure he was the shadiest, but he was the best. Pope John Paul was great. You know, Conclave did end in kind of... an intersex deus ex machina kind of bizarre way we're just we're spoiling everything welcome to the most spoiling episode ever this episode's spoiled um
They do absolutely nothing. That little girl kills him. Says stop watching. Just don't watch. It's a waste of your time. But I am enjoying Daredevil. yeah i've been watching it going back to old episodes my favorite thing is how fat everyone got oh really the original series what was that like uh um There was that Daredevil that came out that was all the rage with Lou Ferrigno. Or no, that's Hulk. He's deaf. Vincent D'Onofrio. Yeah, that's going now.
Is Vincent D'Onofrio still in it? Yeah. Oh, he's playing the big bad guy. He's been fat for some time. Oh, dude. But what a great actor. Yeah. I mean, dude. He's a chunky monkey, dude. So in this one, I forget the name of his character. Kingpin? Kingpin, okay. They had to put more of a fat suit on him because he wasn't fat enough. Yeah, he's supposed to be a titanic individual.
He's great at this world. It's a metaphor. It's a secret. Dude, they got ninjas in the old one. They got ninjas? Dude, I'm watching the old one, which is great because you can just watch like five episodes yeah i'm starting one piece so if anybody has any any um what do you mean tips and tricks get in the get in the comments let me know one piece yeah i'm starting this why
what is that on hulu that looks like a hulu show that's definitely crunchy roll i think the most robust journey that you can experience is probably on crunchy roll but it's on netflix um crunchy roll is what japanese anime yeah yeah you would dude there's so i also have recently got Japanese anime. It's good. It's phenomenal. It's phenomenal. And then I realized, because then I started getting pretty horny for all these animated chicks.
Does it make you want Asian girls? That fucking hammer does not take a day off. First of all, yes it does. Second of all, I did look up if there's any like X-rated like mangas or oh dude there's these like high school ones where it's just these chicks with big titties and yeah like fuck yeah
yeah yeah well i'm not really into that stuff i love my wife about to have a daughter so i'm keeping it pretty pc oh dude wait till you have a daughter you'll be like this world is scum oh i know dude get away from her do not touch her My dad today said that Joe Biden took a shower with his granddaughter. With his daughter. It came out to be true. She admitted it. She wrote in a diary.
Again, of the CIA and the gaslighting telling us Hunter Biden stuff wasn't real. The diary wasn't real. Then they tried to sue the guy that found the diary because she just happened to leave it at a rehab. And now here we are. Ooh, don't do it. You're going to piss him off. What? But it might be good for the show. Click it. Oh, what? Oh, let's go to some. Go to the fact check. Go to that one. Fact check. What's the headline?
true oh go up what's the headline diary authored by u.s president's daughter ashley biden described showers taken with her father when she was a child as probably not appropriate oh It's so disgusting. I mean, it's consistent for the hunter. Why don't you wash that part? I can't really reach. Oh, God. I can't reach down there.
God, it's the worst. Go ahead, get into it. Like if you have a tiny baby, they'll just poop themselves everywhere. Yeah. And your wife will be like, get in the shower. You're like, what? Get in the shower. Just gotta wash her down. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta hop in. Yeah.
You don't have to take all your clothes off, though, and fucking tell her to wash your balls. What does this say? An often cited page from that leaked diary, which chronicles its author's addiction recovery in an intimate detail. So what did they find? her fourth step or something yeah they found her diary wow Makes reference to sexual trauma and poses questions in search of an explanation for being hyper-sexualized at a young age, along with mentions of not liking to visit.
certain family's house being sexualized with a female friend and having sex with friends at a young age oh yeah party on my god like i was so sexually active so young and it just makes me so sad yeah i'm sorry That was the most disingenuous thing. No, no, no. I really am. I'm being honest about our trauma right now. I really am sorry. I really am sorry. That sucks. That does suck.
I mean, it could be worse though. It could be a complete freaking dork and not have sex till you're like 30. Yeah. But there are guys doing that. These kids don't want to anymore.
yeah they're into love and stuff no they're just like it's a pain in the ass yeah they've grown up with this me too shit yeah and they're just like i'm over it dude oh by the way oh well okay we let's get into your story we got so much stuff to get into today and some of them are your stories as well dude um bry what's the fan's name Squatchy. Squatchy. Hi, Squatchy. This Squatchy. He's a Patreon subscriber. Thank you. Go to patreon.com slash aka deepwaters.
comment comment comment right now on any of the things that we've said get in on a comment go ahead we're gonna pause for a little bit hmm Pausing. Done. So he's called me gay. Probably, I would put it at 67 times at this point. This guy's going to be a father. And he's called me gay for good reason. I keep refusing the call, which is one of the steps of the hero's journey, to dive deep into...
Yeah, because this is getting a little out of your wheelhouse. It is out of my wheelhouse. I think it's out of your wheelhouse, too. No, I love talking cryptids. So tell us about what is a cryptid? A cryptid is this kind of mystery.
animal being yeah that really science doesn't recognize like bigfoot is encrypted okay mothman is encrypted okay chupacabras are cryptids a chupacabra fucker dude you go to mexico and every animal you like that's got to be a chupacabra they're like no that's a raccoon that is a raccoon that drinks goat blood uh the chupacabra is a confusing one to me because it's diminutive in its stature so it's not that scary right
Well, I mean, like raccoons, when they're angry, are pretty scary. Oh, fuck that. I'd punt a raccoon. Did you see that guy throw the raccoon into the deep, dark abyss? What? You ever seen where a raccoon's attacking his dog? Oh. And he just grabs the dog and throws it down the stairs? and it looks like it falls into the darkness. Oh, wow.
Yeah. I was going to say, if he did that for no reason, I'd be pretty pissed off because I love animals. But if it's attacking your dog, throw it as far as you can, as hard as you can. Yeah, then you're just playing this game called what animal is more valuable to you, and it is your dog. It's your dog. Fucking chupacabra. Yeah, dude. Fluent Spanish. Yeah. Bilingual demon.
Yeah, look at that, dude. Oh, yeah. The spines on the back are pretty fucking intimidating. Like, dude, have you been noticing, like, in the ocean they're discovering all these crazy new animals yeah they all look like aliens and i pretty much think they are all aliens well okay here's a crazier story yeah what if they're from the beyond the ice wall and they've escaped and that's why they get snatched up real quick yeah That's why I don't eat pus.
I don't eat pulpo. You don't eat pussy? No, I'll eat. Yeah, I mean, we don't need to get into it. Yeah, I think we should. Family show, but no, I don't need. It's not helping your case. I don't eat octopus. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm not an octopus guy either. Too smart. Too smart. Well, then you shouldn't eat pigs. Pigs are incredibly smart. Not as smart as puss. Yeah, they are. Look it up. They're smarter than toddlers.
Well, toddlers are... Yeah, they're dumb. That's a pretty low bar, I'd say. Yeah, I know, but that... Now, puss is one of the smartest animals on this planet Earth, I think. Both pigs and octopus are considered highly. Ooh, let's see this. R slash debate of ego. Rye, you're kind of... kind of jerking the wheel off side of the road right now um okay so the dog the dog man yeah
Squatchy is like, you're a bitch for not talking about the dog, man. Pretty much every episode we put up. Dude, we do, if you go to... skinwalkers out skinwalker ranch yeah very scary yeah scary spooky stuff uh okay let's let's wrap with this top 30 smartest animals in the world I don't think they included octopus. Do they include Bigfoot? That's impossible. Well, is an octopus an animal? Yes. What?
If it was an animal, what would you categorize it as? It's just too much blood goes down there. Dude, stop watching Japanese anime so much. Yeah, you've got to stop, dude. You really have got to chill out. Go to one of those tabs we've got in the beginning for the dog, man. Okay, we do have a definitive answer. Pig's number seven on the power rankings. What's number one? Human.
Oh, so we're animals. And octopus is nine. Puss is nine. What's number two? Chimpanzees. Oh, okay. I respect that. Yeah, I can respect that too. Then we've got dolphins, orangutans, elephants. Love it. Elephants have a divine intelligence. They really care about the things that matter in this life. Yeah. Family. They really do. Heart, memory. I saw a video of gorillas doing jujitsu.
Yeah. I saw it take it back and choke out another animal. Yeah. They don't respect the tap. Fuck no, dude. They're like Dagestani. Yeah, they really are. They really are. Your muzzy hate is coming out. I don't hate muzzies. Oh, really? Okay, what do you want to talk about with a dog band?
Dude, I'm telling you. Are you going to turn me into Douglas Murray right now? But have you been there? Have you been there? Oh, dude, and they're gay, too. Have you been there? These dogs are gay. They're ferocious. They're angry, highly intelligent, and gay as fuck. Okay, so the gayest thing about the dog man, go to the Wikipedia for dog man. It's in the tab somewhere. How come he's walking around like this?
What is going on with these? Are they all out of order for you or something? Yeah. Okay. Zoom in on this top paragraph because I want to read this. In folklore, the Michigan Dogman was a creature allegedly witnessed in 1887 in Wexford County, Michigan. It was described as a seven-foot tall blue-eyed or amber-eyed bipedal canine-like animal with the torso of a man and a fearsome howl that sounds like a human scream.
According to legends, the Michigan Dogman appears in a 10-year cycle that falls on years ending in seven and can be deterred by clapping loudly. give it a standing o that is that is so lame there's this titanic dog man yeah bipedal wolf demon and you're just like hey get out of here he's like oh fuck
Did you get him? I was just close. It's like throwing water on a witch. And then he attacked with some righteous clapping. Yeah, he gets back. They're like, what the fuck happened? He's like, what do you think happened? They did a clap thing. They're like, oh, fuck. It's so loud and festive. Come on, get some Gatorade. We'll do it again next time. Yeah, I guess we'll wait another seven years.
And they're upset, but they understand because they've felt the clap before too. But go to the next tab, Bri, because I think there's a book that I found. Dog man, gay as fuck. Yeah. They found it at Skylight Books. Dude, the bookstores in Silver Lake and Los Feliz are... it's like do you guys have anything fucking like how many books can you have on you know this shit yeah like how many fucking books do you have on this stuff yeah um okay go up
okay so the zoom in a little bit so the dog man of northwestern Michigan dog man is A monster firmly encountered in the lore of northern lumber camps and backwoods from the mid-1800s to today, Dogman walks upright on its hind legs and looks a bit like his monster relative, the Wolfman. in 1887 it was wild in 1887 dude you got no one to call
Dude, couldn't tweet about nothing. Couldn't tweet about nothing. Couldn't call 911. Your only hope is that you have a ball on you, you throw it, and you play catch with it. That's your only hope with the dog, man. Or clap. But honestly, something that harrowing and ferocious, you wouldn't think to go, hey, get out of here. Get away. It's not a fucking cat. Yeah, white women just want to get to know it.
Snow Buddies are just like, let me tell you. Oh, you call them Snow Buddies? Yeah, that's what we're into now. That's what you're part of the community? Yeah. Yeah, we call them Snow Buddies. Yeah, you and Mike Tyson. 1887 is the first reported sighting. In Lumberjacks and Wexford County spotted an animal they believed to be a dog, and for lack of anything better to do, they began chasing it.
to escape its pursuers the tormented animal ran inside a hollow log one of the lumberjacks grabbed a stick and poked inside the log the creature let out an unearthly scream crawled out of the log and stood upright there face to face and eye to eye with the men stood a creature with a man's body and a dog's head terrified men broke camp and never returned to the area from then on the beast made an appearance about every 10 years
in 1897 checks out math near buckley a farmer was found slumped over his plow it was an apparent heart attack and probably would not have been considered unusual except for the huge dog track that wring the ground around his deceased body. Exactly a decade later, there was a report of a demented widow who reported weird dreams with dogs circling her house at night. These dogs walked like men and yelled like banshees.
Ten more years pass before the next incident. A sheriff is alleged to have walked upon a wagon with dog prints and dust around it. No driver could be found, but nearby... Four horses lay dead with their eyes wide open. A veterinarian was called to the scene, but he could find no medical reason for their deaths. Damn. I love that he poked him. He got out of the logs. Like, what? Why?
What? Hey, can you not? Do we have to do this? Can you not, though? Why? I'm just going to walk away. Let's be cool. So there's also like military reports, evidently, like they're super soldiers. I wouldn't doubt it. I mean, the Japanese are trying to make dog men all the time, combine pigs with dogs and horses with monkeys.
Source. South Park episode. No, dude. They've been trying to do this stuff forever. Well, not just the Japanese. The Nazis. The Japanese Nazis. We're making dire wolves. The Russian Nazis. everybody's a nazi so do you believe in this shit yeah 100 you believe in the dog man i believe the dog i believe in bigfoot i believe in all that but if you don't believe it you probably won't see it
Uh, what? If you don't believe it's possible, you probably will never see it. Well, that's not how reality works though, right? No, I disagree with that. you won't see the pattern well wolf uh dog man ain't a pattern dog man is seven foot bipedal uh do you think dog man just showed up in 1887 i guarantee it's been around forever and this is just the first documented That people probably talked about Dogman.
forever around that area do you think one of the reasons why egypt was so fabulous is because it was just a bunch of dog men walking around probably i mean you guys know islam started in mexico right uh yep Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. There's all these signs of Islam Middle Easterners were actually in Mexico. You almost slipped there.
What? I thought you were going to say Muzzy's. Muzzy? Well, I didn't want to piss you off anymore. No, no, no. It's not. It doesn't piss me off. I mean, you can brand me as an Islamophobe all you want. I know in my heart. Tell me about all the cool stuff you like to do with Muslims. What's the fun stuff that I like to do with Muslims? Yeah, you just sit around, grab hands, and just go around in circles.
Dude, isn't it so bizarre how like... how defensive mia khalifa is about porn like if anybody brings it up that's like every chick is it's unbelievable how like they just don't want you to talk about their past No. Anything they did in the past, it was some kind of manipulation of them. They had no say in it.
And then afterwards when you call them out and they're like, I don't even want to hear about, like we've said before on this show, somewhere out there, Bella Donna is acting like a normal, like she's a normal human. being with that doesn't have incredible superpowers yeah she's just making sourdough yeah she's just like high school how's school today honey yeah yeah they brought up your movies i don't know what you're talking about yeah yeah well you know it's a hard industry
What have you found here? I was just looking at the history of Islam in Mexico. I love it, buddy. You are opening your eyes. Yeah. This show is working. Finally waking up. Ryan is understanding history is a lie. It's not though. It is though. No. 100%. No, it's not. Why wouldn't it be? well you just don't want to think you're just like i'm just gonna trust them and move on and since you haven't been there you don't know what you know you don't care and you've been to history
Well, I like to talk. My favorite subject is hidden history. Yeah, I think that there's like... Three sides to every story. Yours, mine, and the truth. My side's closer to the other side. This is like the weirdest triangle ever. Not though. My side's a tiny side. Truth is a long side and yours is an obnoxious side. Oh, okay. Yeah, so mountains are petrified giants. Well, I don't know if they're petrified giants, but there are weird mountains where there's like buildings inside the mountain.
It just looks like a melted building. So there are things to that. There are giant tree trunks. These giant mountains that look like giant tree trunks. Yeah. The world could be way bigger than we know. Stargates. Well, I mean, that's the only thing about Iraq. The weapon of mass destruction was a Stargate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's where, like, you know. But now that's possible, right, Dylan? Everything is what they tell us.
No. There's no lying going on. No, not everything. The elites love us. There's simplified history to kind of get you through the basic understanding of what happened. Yes. Perfect example, like Abraham Lincoln saved or emancipated the slaves, right? Yeah. If you read into it, it was more like using them as a political ploy and didn't free certain ones because he...
I wouldn't say that him doing that is like... He wanted to do it, but he was still using it as a chip. The reason that the slaves were freed is because the South... The South wanted to secede. The South didn't want to work with Abraham Lincoln, and the British Crown and the Bank of England came on the side of the South. And they actually, they recognize someone from the South. I forget who it was. You can look it up. The South's president during the Civil War.
And what he doesn't know is that the Russians came in on the side of Abraham Lincoln. And nobody knows that. They had Russian boats. war boats outside our ocean, right at our coastline. Russia came on the side because they just battled the Bank of England and the Rothschilds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they wanted the smoke.
They were like, if Spain, it's either Spain, England, or France, two of those, were going to come on the side of the south. Russia said they would come on the side of the north. So it was a world war. Yeah, I mean, look it up, dude. You can find pictures of Russian troops and northern troops. I don't want you getting... Damn, you're treating me like a muzzy right now. Dude, that's so brutal. You know what else is brutal?
Nine-year-olds dying from internal wounds on consummation evenings. Look at this. See, these are pictures of Russian troops and American troops chilling together. Is that what this picture is? I don't know if that's his. I'm assuming that's what he looked up for me.
Maybe he didn't. But there are pictures of American troops and Russian troops. Well, I'll take your word for it. But let's say history is complicated. It's not all a lie. Well, it's a lie. That's why it's complicated. No, you think everything's a lie, though, and that's why you have a... Oh, because it is. They always say, is everything a conspiracy?
100%. No, it's not. And that's why you have squirrel brain. I'm not going to argue with that. I do have a very active brain. And the zins don't help. The zins do actually help. I've noticed I'm tinfoil hat. When I'm Zenning, I'm a much better interviewer. It mellows me out. Oh, really? It mellows you out? And I can just let them talk and say, ha, ha, ha. Oh, damn. I feel my interviewing has gotten much better. Thank you, Zen. Thank you, Zen. But I want to try your thing.
Little fucking Lucy. Oh, you're going back to back, huh? You really do have a problem. You got me hooked on crap. Don't put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby. Dude, it's so on you. So when I'm on the show going, I just think that history is a lie. It's all on you. That's not how it works. I think what they'll do is they'll remove this side of your face. Oh, great. I'm going to show up with no jaw and try to debate you. And guess what? I'll still win. Yeah.
Let's see if we can do it. Ten years into the future, Sam's going to be like, so why do you think that the Jews are behind the Knights of Malta? All right. So, Dogman, there are other cryptids. Yeah, there's so many of them. And Squawky, I don't know what you want us doing with Dogman. Yeah, it's not his thing. He just is not ready for that. Hey everybody. Hey everybody. What is going on? Let's get into it. Sam, I hear you perfectly right now. You know why?
Why? Because you're sitting right next to me. But if we were on the phone and we had some crummy cell provider, I probably couldn't hear you. If you have Mint Mobile, though, pristine. The best. The best. From the worst to the best. Did you say data or data? Data. Well, at our house, under my roof. We say data. Okay, and for the longest time. Yeah. Go ahead. No, you. Now the fans like it when you read. No. Okay. I'll do that. Okay. I thought paying a fortune in monthly data.
was just normal. It's not. Okay? That was until I found out about Mint Mobile and their premium wireless plans that just are 15 bucks a month. That is not a lot of cheddar. That is not a lot of guap. And it's crystal clear. The wireless service in comparison to my old provider. Yeah. Let me tell you something. Verizon, they're having their third annual. Moloch meeting. Okay. Goodbye. Yeah. Goodbye. Sold my.
stock yeah got more into cat yeah sorry i'm out i'd prefer valhalla as opposed to whatever demon circle you guys are trying to trigger you know who doesn't do that mint mobile say bye bye to your overpriced wireless plans jaw-dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages mint mobile is here to rescue you okay
Use your phone with any Mint mobile plan and bring your phone number along with your existing contacts. That is huge. It's a pain in the booty. I hate that. To just wipe all that stuff, okay? No matter how you say data, no matter how you say data, don't overpay for it. Shop data plans at mintmobile.com slash CSC. That is mintmobile.com slash CSC upfront payment of $45 for three months. Five gigabyte plan required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months only.
Then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. And we thank them for sponsoring this show. Thank you for sponsoring the show. Thank you. Okay, so yeah. There's also another unidentified beast. beast in wisconsin pretty much all this stuff which is why there may be some truth to it it's all associated to the indigenous nodes of power that were here before i respect that
The only shady cryptid is Owlman, and he goes and bangs in Chicago. What do you mean? Like, shoots people? Like, most of these cryptids are in, like... Very country areas. Saskatchewan. Yeah, stuff like that. Owl man, he'll show up in Chirac and pop off a couple. Yeah, owl man looks like he's packing a fucking ton, dude. Owl man makes dog man suck his- His dog. Oh, yeah. Dude. Work my sack now. If you can clap away, Dogman, what the fucking Owlman do to Dogman? Owlman will take your clap.
and give you the clap that's what he'll do i'll tell you what owl man can do to dog man fucking walk him yeah oh yeah he'll put him on a leash yeah 100 and he goes back to the den he's like fucking owl man put me on a leash again again it wasn't even a choke chain it was like one of those really pathetic ones that has the big extender it's just silly string come on come on in come on in Okay, so I wanted to take a little reprieve from all this dogman stuff. See?
We listen to the Patreon people. 100%. If you want us to talk about something, the best place to do it is to get in the comments on Patreon. and tell us because we listen non-stop tell us we listen to the people that pay uh that pester us uh oh this is another cryptid oh who's this oh dude this one's kind of sick Oh, I like this guy. Oh, he's in Canada. Yeah, he's in Canada on this. Go down a little bit. Did you ever hear the theory? Listen to this.
listen to this poem his mother was an earwig his father was a whale a little bit of head and hardly any tail and ocopulgo was his name so this is interracial uh-huh this is the blake griffin great blake griffin of of of cryptids i would say he's the gyarados of cryptids but yeah look at this uh look at this roll this video because this is his home at rattlesnake island oh oh dude right there rattlesnake island shady as shit dude look at that
So you're chilling on Rattlesnake Island in 1887, just throwing a ball to no one. You think you bring chicks there? Probably. Let's go to Rattlesnake Island. I don't know you that well. Come on, babe. The topography is not that great for banging, but you can really make use of really anything. Yeah, you can work with it. Like our forefathers. We had to make love on rocks. Yeah, but...
Dude, imagine you're making love on those rocks and up comes Oko Pogo and just fucking tears your... working his root working his ogopogo yeah yeah yeah and he bites you and they're all anthropomorphized at point at this point we've turned them all into pixar characters You're like, why'd you eat my leg off? He's like, I don't know. This is what I do. I just want to give you the meaning of life. Yeah, he's like an Italian. Oh, dude, I do like this one. No, I like this nicotine pack.
Oh, really? Oh, yeah, I do. A little mango Lucy? A little mango Lucy. I know you're a... Yeah, I'm in. I'm in. Yeah, dude, have you ever heard? Perfect for Indians, this one, the mango Lucy. Have you heard the theory that Loch Ness Monster is just a whale dick? Some just giant whale root. I mean, that looks, click the fifth one on the top row of that one. That looks like Ryan's dick. It's literally Ryan's dick, bro. That's Ryan's dick. Okay, let's take a quick break.
and watch something that's going to piss Sam off. Oh, these are my favorite segments. These are my favorite segments. This is my favorite time. We are crushing this episode today. You think? Oh, yeah. This is a crush episode. Oh, sick. Well, Dick. Next tab. It's already queued up, so just turn the volume up on her. Yeah, we're back. motivated you to come out here today? We're supporting our child Violet and her access to the medical care that she needs.
Dad is not happy about any of this. Yeah, dad is. That's like all I wanted was a boy. Yeah, dad's. And I got a boy. Dad's hair got real gray over the past couple of years. And Violet doesn't want to be there either. No, listen. being activists on behalf of their daughter's future you know what what could go wrong and uh once we get to the end of this clip it's pretty pretty it's a pretty special clip go ahead okay
We're here for her rights and her ability to be who she is. And she's not gonna let anybody silence her and we're not gonna stand in her way. What state are you from? Arizona. It's very pretty. Ooh, mom. Yeah, keep rolling. Have an impact there? Yes, 100% we're concerned. And we've discussed having to move, which we don't want to do. Violet comes first in her medical care and her medical needs. We'll see what happens. In what age do you think most trans kids determine that they're trans?
What she could speak What? Okay, so have you seen this JoJo chick? He brought it up. He played the video earlier. Mickey Rourke, is that his name? Yeah, Mickey Rourke. What is his name? Mickey Rourke. He looks like a baseball glove now. He looks like a PE teacher from the 80s, okay? So JoJo.
so she's been i'm a pa i'm a lesbian guess what she loves now dude she's now got a boyfriend well she uh did she say that she's uh lesbo or yes that's what the whole that's why he dropped the f-bomb oh yeah yeah yeah And by the way, Mickey Rourke was right.
He said, by the time this is done, you're going to be liking guys. Yeah. But I mean, do you really let it back on the show? Right, Ryan? Thank you. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of wisdom that you really don't need to dole out to people. You know what I mean? Right. But he. But at the end of the day, Mickey Rourke was right.
Yeah, I mean, being right isn't the most important virtue on planet Earth. You know what I mean? But he was right. Oh. He said, by the time the show's done, you'll be loving guys. And she now has a boyfriend. Yeah, no, I mean, listen. So what is your issue, Dylan? He called his shot. He Babe Ruthed it.
He walked up, he pointed right to the section where the chicks who love dudes are, and he goes, that's going to be JoJo. My issue is that he... in his gravelly, broke voice started yelling F-bombs or throwing out F-bombs. essentially a young woman okay for no fucking reason okay uh it hurt her okay maybe his his the means in which he did it isn't the best but he was right well that's what i'm talking about being right isn't the most important thing oh so uh being nice
No, I would say being respectful, being good. Hey, guys, watch Dylan pave the road to hell with gold. I'm going, I'm, I'm paving the road to hell. But Sam's like, he was right. So what if he called her a fucking duck? He was right. There we go. Thank you. Flag it. Flag it. Dude, every time Dylan talks, just flag it. So getting back to this Instagram video. You know, there's a lot of cuckoo birds out there involved in this kind of sphere. This is probably the craziest thing I've ever...
Heard him my entire life. And CPS, anybody? I mean, what the fuck are we talking about? Well, I mean, that dad has no power. He looked like he was in a hostage situation. I mean, maybe if she clarified the statement a little bit more, like, but... I'm not going to give this any rope. She told us that she was trans when she was one and a half. So she goes, Dada, oh, she must want to be a boy, a girl. Oh, she said Dada first. She wants to be a girl.
so crazy this becomes this whole thing where either you're 100 in or you're 100 out there's no nuance Okay. Yeah. Nobody has a problem with someone of 18 years old lighting themselves up as a Christmas tree. Your job as a parent. What's the comment? Ryan's going through the comments. The top comment is bad parent button, and it points to the like, and it's got like 13,000 likes. I actually was just laughing at this guy's brand, 1776 Sports Nutrition.
What does he say? Poor excuse. Dude, let me tell you something, dude. People have no clue what happens to a man when he gets with a wife that is unrelenting. I think those men unconsciously and psychically... magnetize those women and vice versa. I think that they seek that out. and they have like what like some weird beta Yeah, I think that they don't necessarily want the responsibility of masculine agency. So they find somebody who can alleviate that from them.
It's unbelievable. I feel bad for the dad because he's getting absolutely lit up in the comment section, and I'm reading his energy. He's giving all these things that he's not comfortable what's going on. This is where I get so confused about you. Like, oh, I feel bad for the guy. Why? How about you stand up and fucking say something and not go along with this shit? Why don't you fucking have a conversation with somebody? And who knows if, you know, maybe...
Okay. I don't know why you feel bad for this guy. I just do not know why. I'm watching him and I go, this guy doesn't like this. So what? He's not right. I agree. I just think that he feels powerless. Okay. In this power dynamic. So he's a pussy. 100%. Okay. You feel bad for pussies? I feel bad for him because he probably wants his boy to be a boy and the boy grows up and decides.
the boy wants to be a girl, then that's a whole different thing. Yeah, yeah. But I guarantee you, if I showed up with tattoo ink and goes, hey, can I tattoo your kid's face? A cat? Because that's what the kid wants. She'd be like, no, that's horrible. They catch all these people like that again. I don't care what you do as an adult. Do whatever you want. How many times do you see these hot chicks? I saw the funniest meme. They showed this gorgeous chick.
tattooed up yeah and then they showed next to her that building downtown that's been graffitied all the way up yeah looked like the exact same thing yeah yeah that building's pretty cool Yeah, are you not into tat chicks? I don't mind tat chicks, but sometimes these girls like... beautiful, beautiful gift they've been given. Yeah, tat tricks are cool, though. All right, so case closed on this.
Dude, this dude is the creepiest dude I've ever seen. You know what? It's so funny because I was just going to bring up the people tattoo their irises. Have you seen that? Yeah. Not only could you not pay me to do that, these people pay to do it. Yeah, they're like, hey, how much did a tattoo my eyeball? How much is it? Two grand.
Okay, let's do it. How many thousands of dollars would it cost for you to take a micro needle and just pierce my eyeball over and over and over again until I have green eyes? Jesus. And the worst part, let's say you decide instantly you hate it. Now you got to go back and get that tattoo removal shit done? Ugh, God. Well, I bet they could just do white again, but maybe it's like veneers.
and it's like too white oh you know it's like you look like you got back from turkey it's just you know you got back from turkey uh okay so this guy this he is one of my favorite uh corporatists on planning this guy is hilarious again like everyone giving bill burr shit for his take on billionaires this is and i remember when bill burr had an epic rant about this guy This guy 100% doesn't believe that water, free access to water is a human right.
NSA I hope you don't flag any of this by the way I have too much to live for I'm not going to do any of this stuff Okay. Okay. I'm going to separate myself from Dylan right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't know what he's saying. No, I don't know what I'm saying either. Ryan, do you want to get ahead of this as well? Yeah, go ahead and separate yourself. I'll take the consequences. Love him. That's a brave young man. Bill is a brave dumb man. And his name's Ryan. Oh, yeah.
Ryan, while I was talking about you, now I'm talking about you're a brave young man. I don't know that there is a ton of good that can come from this spirit existing on planet Earth. I do not think that there is a point to this. Spirit, this web of energy. Now, who's to say? I mean, energy is never destroyed. How many views does that tweet have real quick? Oh, yours?
holy shit yeah it was my oh wow 102 wow amazing so um the comment uh is Meet the new WEF chairman, Peter, Nazi name, former CEO of Nestle, who famously... Stated in 2001, humans have no right to access free water. I mean, you couldn't get, you couldn't out Darth Vader more than that. And it's like, that is a perfect example of why there's no, okay, when you're a billionaire, You get severed from the ground floor.
When you're a pop star, you get severed from the ground floor. Look at Katy Perry talking about reading books about string theory before she goes to bed. unironically proudly with no shame whatsoever look at this guy legitimately saying to camera water is not a human right these people are in a sphere of our tardation yeah i'm with you that they're just saying this stuff that is so obviously wrong this is this is it dude This guy, okay.
is a psychopath he's where he is because he is a psychopath they only want psychopaths in there they do not want anyone with a sliver of human being in them okay And this is what we're talking about. There are apex predators amongst us. Okay, and they have Terminator eyes. And they feel no fear of us. So when this guy Luigi comes around, and there's a whole debate whether he's actually the guy that did it. Okay? This is what we're talking about. What?
there's not a whole debate there is a debate no there are a couple there's nobody talking about there are a couple of banshees in the corner of the internet debating it but i so i guess technically there's a debate okay thank you Look at his Terminator eye. So that comes from him and Charles Schwab doing some freaky stuff to initiate him, I think, probably. 100%. And now they're like, oh, they're in...
The WEF is investigating Klaus Schwab for some weird stuff. Klaus Schwab's nut will completely just bleed your eye out. Yeah, 100%. Schwab fired a Nestle water bottle. yeah yeah he's like here's some free water bang oh my gosh i can't believe we didn't bring that up yeah that's exactly what ryan's eye looked like when i hurled that ballistic at him um Thank you, Ryan, for not suing Dylan. By the way, I still will testify for you. Thank you for not suing the show. Nope, nope, you.
Joe loves him. If Ryan ever did, I would say, you know, you just got to follow the money, right? So it goes into an LLC. I'm not sure what the LLC is, but that's your smoking gun. That's who you got to sue. Okay, so let's roll the first clip of this. And then she poops on my chest. The one opinion which I think this is extreme. Go ahead. Oh, my God. Could you pick? Lower the volume and we'll just read it. Did he say juice?
I thought I heard him say juice. He seems like the kind of guy that would say that. Pretty charged. Yeah, the juice? The juice? The juice don't need the water. Okay, play that. The one opinion which I think is extreme is represented by the NGOs. He's like, I'm going to say it. Ryan, could you take that thing down? Who bang on about declaring water. Okay. Dude, it took everything for him to say that. Yeah. He knows.
And he still said it, though. Oh, because they told him he has to say this in this interview. Well, so he took a little bit of heat for this, right? Volume up. can you roll this video now this is his me too statement after this interview goes viral I was just joking. I was completely... I wanted to be a stand-up comic. I was kidding. there apparently some misconceptions about my ideas on water okay let me make it clear from the beginning
I've always supported the human right to water. No you haven't. Pause it. Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck this guy. You know what's not helping you? This fake baked tan you have going on right now. Yeah. And now you're talking in front of water. Right. You're like, let's look in front of the water. It will make them calm them down. He's talking at the Swiss version of Kenny Bunkport about how, why, you know, no human. Listen, I said they had this idea about water is a human right. And, you know.
People like took that I did not, that I was saying that. And yes, it is on video. Okay. So what? So what? So what? It was a mistranslation. I bet you the interpreter was a Jew. Okay, all right. Peter, Peter, let's go. Let's try it again, dog man. Let's try it again, dog man. Yeah, so it's crazy that, like, The WEF, it really is bonkers, the things that come out of that body about society writ large, the way human beings should live. I mean...
You'll own nothing and you'll be happy. Water is not a basic human right. How do these people keep getting hired to lead these bodies of human destruction? Because they say that. It's all data. At some point, this monster was a tiny person and they studied him and they go, this guy has psychopath tendencies. They probably put him through a shit ton of trauma as a child, which even hardened him even harder. He's perfect.
Look at how his little baby cries. He's perfect. Adolf Hitler, Stalin all entering on him. His tears of joy. He reminds me a lot of Stalin when he was crying. He's perfect. He's perfect. Fucking psycho. He's exactly what we need. All right. Did you see Pete yesterday on Schultz? Pete? Oh, butt plug? Yeah. told a very emotional story about coming out as lucid
It is not easy to come out. No, especially when you're... I know people who couldn't come to grips with that and aren't with us anymore. That guy's furry back. yeah yeah yeah that guy is sick as fuck that guy goes around just hair everywhere hi how are you you look so beautiful today Is that dog man? No, it might be the Persian dog man.
Okay, so what are we talking about now? Oh, just Pete. Pete butt plug? Yeah, Pete butt plug and get in the comments. Let us know if you agree. He's the future of this country. Remember when I won that debate that he was CIA? That was a fun debate. That was one of my favorite rings I've ever rung. Oh, but it was fraudulent though. No, it was. No, I never steal veil.
Because I ring so much. You do constantly. I ring so much that I don't have to fake it. I almost throw some fights just so I don't have to ring the bell. It's so heavy. How brave of you. Okay, let me give you a perfect example of why you were so wrong and why that bell was fraudulent. No. Ready? No. Okay. Okay. So let's say there are a couple frogmen, right?
Soldiers? Soldiers. Or are they literal cryptids? No, they're soldiers. Okay. They're Navy. Sasquatchian was going to get excited there. You're talking about frogmen. Take it easy for one second, though. So there are a couple frogmen. Okay. Hey, can you do me one favor as you do this, please? Uncross my hogs. Can you crunch your nuts even harder as you sit down? I knew it was going to be that. Can you do that? Can you crunch them harder?
How's my moose knuckle going? Go on. Okay, so I'm going to put my feet flat on the floor for this one. There we go. All right, a couple soldiers. They're in Fallujah, right? Yeah. And CIA. People come and tell them, we need you guys to work with us on this thing. This is what you're going to be doing, right?
Are the frogmen in the CIA? They are working with the CIA, yes. They're not in the CIA. Well, they're working with the CIA. But they're not in the CIA. But they are working with the CIA. Okay, but when the CIA... They're running CIA operations. You're getting into schematics. No, you are. No, you are. You are. You. So those guys are not in the CIA. They are CIA. No, they're not. That's not how that works. But yeah. You're in the U.S. military and you work.
With the CIA, you are CIA. Who would you vote for, Trump or Pete Buttigieg? Butt plug? No way. No way? No way. How come? Why not? Because he worked with the CIA. It's been a great show. Oh, my. No, it's not a great show over. Did I send you the video, Wanda Syke? Oh, I love that we can't play it because it'll get flagged by Netflix. but um Wanda Sykes was on everybody's live with John Mulaney now I'm sure you've watched it do you like it because I have this weird thing with John Mulaney
Where I like him a lot, but he's part of this Georgetown Jesuit crew. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's terrorized comedy forever. I think John Mulaney's a brilliant comedian. I think he's very funny. I was really... So John Mulaney, there's a dark period of my fandom for him, and it is all of the rehab and intervention stuff. Yeah, where he's just like doing blow and blasting. No, he was great then.
Oh, his Coke days were great? His Coke days were great. He put out a lot of good stuff. When he got all like, I have to stop this, and then... Good for you. Got to stop that, right? Want you to be healthy. But don't go on stage after stage after stage, talk show after talk show after talk show.
talking about how many famous people were at your intervention it's just kind of like okay i get it i get it oh god i find that funny okay i got it as recovery that's pretty funny nick kroll and seth myers were there okay cool i get it you're famous But John Mulaney's... This is like Nick Kroll's like, listen, my dad and brother were 100% part of 9-11.
And that's a heavy burden. And if I cannot do drugs during it, you cannot do drugs during this. Okay. That's what saved him. That's what got him into the program. My family will bomb your whole family. Okay. But Wanda Sykes, who has always, to me, been like, what is this? Why? Why? Why? Well, we find out the why. She's, and I can't wait to hear this guy. Opaly admits she was NSA. Opaly admits she's NSA. And then.
Ryan, if I asked you, do you think on Jeffrey Epstein's flight logs, do you think there's more male comedians or female comedians? I would guess male. Wrong. There's more female comedians. And they're all the worst. They are the worst. And the flight logs are... what at this point because we haven't had any like official no they're all out just people like you it's like when are you gonna release them
Well, no, people like you are like, when are you going to release them? No. I have a video of you saying, when are you going to release the files? Release them. No, well, I go. Release the files because we already know it all. That's what I said. But what are the flight logs? Where do they come from? Whistleblowers? Like pilots? No, they come from when they grabbed all the shit from him. Oh, okay.
Okay. I'm just asking. No, you're not. No, no, I am. You're poking. No, I'm asking. Poking dog man. No, I'm asking. So, Wanda Sykes. Chelsea Handler, Kathy Griffin, all on that. Now, the only debate about the female comics is Michelle Wolf because there's an M. Wolf there. But Michelle Wolf kind of explodes on the scene.
Is doing the presidential reporter's ball roast. Which was so funny. I mean, she's a great writer. She's a great writer. But you're like, why do you get your own show? You go right to having your own show doing... doing political comedy right out the gate. She's so funny, dude. So funny. But... I mean, there should be a discussion of did you go to this island?
I have no ill will against Michelle Wolf. All my friends from New York love her. I have no ill will towards her. The question is, were you there? Wanda Sykes was there. Okay? So now she's intelligence and on the Jeffrey Epstein flight log. And we're just like, oh, Wanda's just crazy. My favorite moment was when Bill Cosby just annihilated her. Oh, Bill Cosby. Are you talking about the rapist? Well, there's a debate on that as well.
i didn't know that rabbit hole okay defend all men believe all women Believe all men. Defend all men. Believe all women? No. Believe no women. Sam Tripoli. This guy. 2028. Okay. So nothing about her being NSA? I mean. No, it's crazy. It's crazy. And she just, Bill Cosby light her up. She's like, back in your day, you guys used to do all this. And he goes, we also used to speak English too. You think that's cool? I think it's hilarious. Yeah, it's so funny. So funny.
I'm sorry, saggy diaper guy. Are all your heroes fake? No, you just say the dumbest shit sometimes. Really get in the comment section. It really exhausts me. Shit, top security. Oh, yeah. No, she was a real spook. She's a spook, bro. She was a serious spook. She is a spook. Project. Monarch. No, what is it? Operation Northwoods. No. Will you look up? As the guy, I should know this.
The intelligence agencies in the mainstream media, what was that project called? And you can tell that she was a real spook because when Mulaney... Project Monarch. Project Mockingbird. Mockingbird. Bang. Good job, bud. Coolest operation name. Look it up. Color Revolution Iran 1953. That's my favorite. Operation Mockingbird. She's straight up Operation Mockingbird. All of these leaders are straight up. Like Jesse Jackson.
Literally an FBI informant led Martin Luther King to get murdered. Al Sharpton, literal FBI informant. Oh, that's it. Operation Ajax. Operation Ajax. Oh, you love it because it was about Iran. You love that. What does that even mean? More Muzzy Merkings. Now, Operation Ajax was when MI6 and CIA fomented a color revolution in Iran because Mossadegh wanted to... Privatize. Their oil. Okay, that is it, but that's not the whole story.
The whole story really is, is that the, who did Mosaddegh replace? Well, he was trying to go against the Shah. The Shah, when he was in power, took all of these loans from J.P. Morgan, and he did it illegally. He didn't go through their... Congress, which to take a loan, for the country of Iran to take a loan, it has to be approved by their Congress. That's hilarious. Now, that's funny. That's funny.
What is funny, Dylan? How many loans do countries take out from big international banks with no congressional approval? What does that have to do with anything? We have a country. This is their law. It was not followed. And he took the loans. And when Mosadek got in, Mosadek or whatever his name is, got in. He looked over the loan and he realized it was not approved by the government. So he was going to reject paying them back.
The problem with JP Morgan is they already had a shitty rating with the Federal Reserve. This would have destroyed, destroyed their credibility. It would have been done. Crazy. No, I'm... I don't understand. You don't think that's the craziest story possible? No, that is crazy. I really do think that is crazy. So basically what happened is most of that gets in.
They take the Shah, Henry Kissinger, and some Rockefellers start to parade him around America. The Iranians are like, don't try to install him again. We don't want him. look up what was the family the Shaw family like Pirani or something So then, so then they're like, don't, don't, don't try to install in power. They start to bring him around. They take hostages for three days.
Three days they take postages. The Iranians. No, but this isn't the big event. This is before that, just to show them we can do it. What are you talking about? The Iranians take hostages? Or the Shah takes hostages? The Iranians take hostages, but it's an earlier hostage season before the big event. Just to show the United States. We can do that because what Henry Kissinger and what JP Morgan wanted was to force Jimmy Carter, who had no international experience. He was a governor before this.
They want him to seize Iranian assets, which would force Iranians to agree to pay back the loan. Okay, well, you just fast forwarded like 30 years. No, the Iranian... The color revolution that I'm talking about was Mossadegh, and you're talking about the Shah going to the Ayatollah. Okay. Great show. Well, I mean, what the fuck? I mean, sorry. Great show. Sorry you time traveled in the middle of a fucking set. My bad. That's so crazy, dude. Great show. Such a great show.
Guys, don't eat in the mic. Go to SamEEE.com. They fucking hate it. Go to SamEEE.com, hit events, new episodes coming up all the time. People love them. People are talking about it. Yeah. We're cooking with gas. There's no orange left in there, you know. Well, there are some yellows. Oh, okay. Or lemon. You want to thank the fan that sent you all the orange? No, they didn't. They sent me a picture of it.
They sent you a picture of it. Scotty the Kid, who I guess listens to the show. Scotty's doing a great job. Scotty put together the, I guess it was in like. 2019 maybe it was the giant march against um Child sex trafficking. I thought like a hundred people were going to show up. Thousands and thousands of people showed up. Way to go, Johnny the Kid. Is that his name? Scotty the Kid. Scotty the Kid. Way to go. He does great work.
fuck yeah good guy send sam some orange mike and ikes uh if you know his po box if you know now you know if you know now you know follow me at dylan peteran get in the comments it helps the show so much Just comment. Get in there. Get in there. Say something nice. Say something nice. We're working our asses off. Dylan works his ass off. Dylan works his ass off. Should we talk about it? I don't think we need to talk about it. About how hard you work? No, about... Be nice to Dylan.
Dylan comes in here, and it's just never an easy gig. His whole paradigm gets shifted. It's not easy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's got these shoes. Yeah, it's just if you're going to go on a diet. Are you okay to do Thai boxing in those shoes? Definitely not.
could you do it if you had to if you were driving and then suddenly you got with a cholo and they said he said punto get out could you go sandal to to no i'd be pretty i'd be pretty rat fucked and you know the other day we went to the chinese to go see sinners Bro, you guys went together? No. Dude, there's no better place to see a movie.
in the world than chinese theater yeah it's great um but we're walking around to the big ones i can't get to the big one they're always like oh you're up you gotta go through this this this lord of the rings journey to find your your no i went to the big one Oh, I love the big one. Oh, I went to the big one.
the big one's the best but you can't walk around there you do not go to hollywood in shoes that are not stable because you never know when something's going to pop off and i was in adidas flats with my pregnant wife and i was like i can't walk around in these shoes with this girl they won't respect you no it's just i can't i can't really torque into things if i need to go you know what i mean yeah and teap kicks do nothing if you're in flats yeah and especially to someone who's high on crack
What are you going to do to them? They have no diaphragm. Yeah, they have no diaphragm. Like the video. Join us at patreon.com. I still know you appreciate them. water. and then we just all get shaken and baked in the microwave. I love it. I didn't say that, you absolute moron. Like just a giant liquid. Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs. Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run,
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Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs. Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run, grow your business with easy customizable themes that let you build your brand marketing tools that get your products out there integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time from startups to scale ups online Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at