Words for the Workplace: A Deep Dive into Emotional Communication at Work - Day 4 - Connection

Embroaching this subject in the workplace can add another layer of complexity to the conversation , but it doesn't have to be that way . This mini-series will cover five words or word categories that we can start bringing into the workplace to help communicate our emotions in more specific and helpful terms . Hello and welcome . To Connect the Dots , lead the Way .

I'm your host , heather Ball-Saric . I'm a white female with short , strawberry-blonde hair . I have on red glasses and a gray t-shirt . Today I am sitting in front of a teal wall that has multiple pieces of art displayed . Welcome back . It is day four of this mini-series and today's word category is connection .

A year or so ago , I read the book Digital Body Language how to Build Trust and Connection , no Matter the Distance , by Erika DeWon , and the opening quote came from the first chapter of that book . I think it's on page four .

So like it started making an impact on me from the beginning , and I can honestly do a whole other series about this book , but I'm going to try to keep it short and sweet today and I'll try to do a podcast on the book later .

But before we dive into digital connection , I do want to revisit the definition from Brene Brown that I shared yesterday from her book Atlas of the Heart .

And that's connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen , heard and valued , when they can give and receive without judgment and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship .

And Erika calls our current state the digital disconnect and she writes that it leads us to misinterpret , overlook or ignore signals and cues , creating an entirely new wave of organizational dysfunction . But why ? Why is this ? And the first thing that Erika says is that we are cue-less . Nonverbal cues make up 60 to 80% of face-to-face communication .

Anthropologist Edward T Hall called these signals and cues the silent language , and those would be posture , proximity , smiles , pauses , yawns , tone , facial expressions , eye contact , hand gestures and volume . Digital communication happens typically over platforms like Zoom , slack , teams , webex , etc .

We're not living in the age where we don't have this technology and we're just all gathered around a conference portal in a room or all calling into the conference call lines with the long numbers that you always had to put in .

So the digital communication in places like Zoom , slack Teams , webex , whatever if we're not on camera , we can't communicate with this silent language . And don't get me wrong , bye . To have worked from home for a very long time so I am fully aware of what they call Zoom fatigue , bad hair days , being sick , etc . Etc .

But those are things that should be the exceptions , not the rules . We miss so much when we aren't on camera , when we aren't having this discussion with the silent language . It leads to things falling through the cracks , things getting misinterpreted . Overall , connections just become difficult to form . So what can we do ? How do we fix this ?

I can't read you all of Erica's book today . That would take way too long . I'm sure there's an audio version that's a much better listen than me , but I'm going to give you four examples from her book . This is literally the end of the first chapter . These are four examples on how you can increase your digital connection through your digital communications .

So let me get the book . The book is a very . If you're watching the YouTube video , it's a very bright orange color .

So if you do go look for it in the bookstore or you're looking for it on the internet , it is a bright orange book , okay , so at the end of the chapter there's a section that says so , you want to communicate , and there are four different examples that I'm going to go through , and so the first one is trust .

So you're looking to communicate trust in traditional body language right , you want to keep your palms open . You want to uncross your arms and legs . You want to smile and nod right , you don't want to close yourself off . You want to be open to that trust piece .

But with digital body language , you want to use language that is direct , with clear subject lines and emails with a friendly gesture like text me if you need anything . Hope this helps . You want to never be seen someone without warning . You want to mirror the sender's use of emojis and or informal punctuation .

So , communicating trust in this digital space there's , you know , has a lot to do with how we are portraying ourselves in our writing , right , that's how people are seeing us . That's how people begin to trust us . The second one is engagement . So traditional body language right , you're going to lean in with your body as another person is talking .

Right , you're going to uncross your arms . You're going to smile and nod . You're going to make direct eye contact In the digital space . Right digital body language to communicate engagement is going to be to . You can prioritize time zone or , sorry , prioritize timely responses .

Send responses that answer all the questions or statements in the previous message , not just one or two . Send a simple got it or received if the message doesn't merit a longer response . Don't use the mute button as a license to multitask . Use positive emojis like thumbs up or smiley faces , depending on your culture .

Also , make sure your emojis are culturally appropriate . But engagement in the digital space , I think about you know , when I'm doing this podcast and I know I think most people probably listen to the audio version , but if you do watch it , you'll see I still talk with my hands . I try to look right at the camera .

I try to make eye contact with the camera so that you feel like we're together , because that's what I want . I want us to be in this together .

And so when you're in a meeting and you know you're having a conversation with your boss , with a direct report , with a peer , if you're having these kind of one-on-one or small group communication , it is really important that you're making that eye contact , you're looking at the camera . It helps people know that you're engaged .

I mean , even in digital space , I lean forward , you know , to indicate that I'm interested . Those are again the silent language there . Okay , the next one is excitement . Right , communicate excitement . Traditional body language , speaking quickly , raise your voice .

Express yourself physically by jumping up and down or tapping your fingers on your desk In the digital world right , digital body language . This looks like using exclamation points and capitalization . Prioritize quick response times . Send multiple messages in a row without getting a response . First , you know those people . I mean , I'm one of those people .

Sometimes I'm like , oh , this is great . And like three messages . I don't even get to give you a chance to respond because I'm so excited . Use positive emojis against smiley faces , high fives , you know things . The heart emoji , a gift , even an appropriate gift , let's put it that way .

But you can relay your excitement in so many ways in the digital form that still let the other person know it helps you connect with them . All right . And then the fourth example that she gives is urgency . So if you want to communicate urgency , so traditionally right , traditional body language .

Raise your voice , speak quickly , point your finger If you're watching the YouTube video , I'm pointing my finger at you or make any other , like exaggerated gestures In the digital space .

For your digital body language to communicate urgency might look like using all caps paired with direct language or sentences that end in multiple exclamation marks , opting for a phone call or a meeting over a digital message , skipping the greeting at the top of a meeting , using formal closings , reply all or CC to direct attention .

Issue the same message on multiple digital channels simultaneously . So urgency , right .

So we talked about trust , engagement , excitement , urgency and the difference with traditional body language and what digital body language might look like , and there's so much more , like I said in this book , but I'm going to shut it down right there because I could talk about it for a long time .

But I would love to know from you , right this brief introduction on digital connection , on ways that you can make digital connection , and I'd like to know you know what resonated with you and hearing the differences between traditional body language and digital body language , or what's something you do to connect in the digital world .

I think about this , too , in terms of in the digital space , and you have to be very . What's the word I'm looking for ? You have to be very . All the words today , y'all . It's not diligent diligence part of it . You have to be very purposeful and you have to be very strategic in creating connection in the digital space .

It's not like in the office , where you would walk by somebody in the break room or walk up to the water cooler or whatever . It's not like that in the digital space . So you have to be intentional

. There's the word I was looking for intentional about making connections , and that's why it's important to not ignore that silent language . So being on camera and being able to express that silent language , so you can get to know the other people or person that you're talking to .

Okay , let me get it like I could go into this for a while , but let me know , head over to my sub stack . The link is in the description Comment . Let me know what resonated with you or how you communicate in this digital world .

Make sure you check out the links in the description to learn more about Erica's book Digital Body Language how to Build Trust and Connection , no Matter the Distance , as well as Brunne Brown's book Atlas of the Heart . I'll be back tomorrow with our final words of workplace segment .

Until then , I want you to remember that you are loved , you are worthy and there are great things ahead for you in this life if you trust and believe in the Lord . Bye .