The Batman 🦇

Hello.

It's odd, simone, if you thought I was already busy enough being a gorgeous, talented, and incredibly dressed drag queen. I'm adding something else to my resume. Investigative reporter sort of. I'm sitting down with regular looking people who are concealing something from me. It may be a weird job, a scandalous side hustle or hobby, or even a naughty little secret.

The thing is, I don't.

Know who I'm meeting with or what they're hiding. I ask three heart hitting questions and try and figure it out from there. Who knows what's in store this time? Let's get our guest in roll the tap.

Hi. I'm Bill. I'm fifty five years old. I come from Melbourne. I'm a family man and have five children. I am very interested in the martial arts, which I trained since I was very young. I work in local government, but it's really what I do outside of work that I'm here to talk to art about.

Hello, Bill, how are you going?

I'm good?

Yeah, I'm on in this place all right. Well, you're sitting in front of me. The best way we'll describe you is father Christmas goes.

On a holiday. Pretty much. I think that's what's in front of me.

You've got a beautiful, big bushy beard, a nice silver beard, but you're also in nice casual clothes. I can imagine you by the beach having a nice cold beer while the reindeer is going, I don't frolic in the water. Okay, so you work in local government things? Yes, no, I'm not going to go into that. Sounds a bit boring to me, but very much. Yeah, okay, five children, Yes, that's a lot, it is.

What type of car do you have to drive and you have five kids?

Big one? Yeah, we have a seventh setter that when everyone's there, we have to use that.

Oh my god, you don't just strap them onto the roof or something? Yeah right, I mean you could have a sleigh. You are father Christmas. Ever started martial arts? What type of martial arts? Oh? Well?

Many? Initially wing chung, which is a Chinese kung fu kung.

Fu I started.

I had to study kung fu as a kid because my eyesight and hand eye coordination is terrible and I'm.

Trying to get me into sports. She said, you know, try and kick a footy. Look at me. Do you think that would ever? Happen was no good?

A foot yeah okay. Kung fu yeah, yep, China which is another form of kung fu, which is Chinese jiu jitsu. Wow, my tie. And then Northern style kung fu, which is kicking a lot of kicking. Yes, which says you can tell probably not very good short stocking, but I got through.

And when you just to imagine Father Christmas doing martial arts, ok it's really good image, It's really good. So what I'm going to do today is based on that background information. I'm going to also ask you three questions, and from the answer to those three questions, I have to work out what you are concealing from me. Okay, and if the answer is you are Father Christmas, I've already done. Okay,

Oh, it's a hard one, but I would say the battle fields of Guineasburg. How's that?

Okay? Then all right, well, this is what the hell's that sounds scary? What is it?

It's from the American Civil War. It's a three day battle. Fifty thousand men were killed in three days. Oh, yeah, very very nasty piece of work.

For beautiful to tell me today is really lifted the mood here today. That's okay, that's all right, Okay, second battles, I'll just write there down there, Okay. Second, Do you have a favorite holiday, as in, like, yeah, not going on a holiday, but you know, like yeah.

But.

You know, I could be good Friday.

Yeah, No, no, I do. I look, I love Christmas, but I would have to say for me, Halloween is the big one.

My god, my favorite too.

Yeah, and I like that We're starting to get into it a bit more these days, addressing up.

It's really changed. I got my young blog, my youngest one. He has a box of Halloween decorations and pulls it out and decorates the front of the house every year.

Oh my goodness.

I remember convincing my mum during high school to let me build a haunted house on our front veranda.

Awesome.

She let me like staple.

Gun black tarps all over the thing, and she couldn't get in and out of the house about going through this haunted house, bless herself. And then we finally packed it up after Halloween, and she's like, Jackie, there's a.

Few splots of blood still around. She said, don't tell your stepfather. But just baby, don't do that again.

Don't you so much bloody?

Sorry, that's fantastic, dropped some blood a over the walls. Okay.

And lastly, if you had a midlife crisis, what would you end up doing?

It's time for midlife crisis, now, I say.

I think I've already had a mid loft cross. Now I would take off and travel the world.

Travel the world? Yeah, oh wow, go back to your battle zones. There you can visit every place where millions of people have done it.

Yes, yes, all the yes, the nasty places.

Wow, how morbon? Okay, very much?

All right, Halloween battles, traveling, traveling the battle Halloween. Okay, alright, So based on all of this, I have to guess what I think you're concealing.

Okay.

You like to visit battle fields and see things, You like to travel the world, okay, and your favorite holiday is Halloween. I know you're giving me all of those things, But looking at you, I just reckon. I reckon you are Santa impersonator? Are you a father Christmas? Santa impersonator?

What about the real Sentacus? No, I'm not No, that's not me, not the real Santa. I'm not the real one, all right. I'm a paranormal investigator. I've been in the field for thirty six years. I work with all sorts of cases, trying to help people and educate people on all things paranormal.

A paranormal investigator. Yes, have you seen a ghost? No, don't tell me again, don't tell me. I don't want to know. I don want to know. Okay, So Bill is not Santa Claus.

He is, in fact a paranormal investigator.

I have no idea what he's seen. Am I here? Am I? Your ghosts?

Is here?

A ghosts? Are you a ghost?

Who?

Am I? Who are you? Where are we? What's up? What's down? Let's find a help? All right?

We are here with Bill and we've just found out that No, you are not Santa Claus, but you are a paranormal investigator.

Correct.

Oh my goodness, Where do we start? Where do we start? Okay?

After bat, I don't care about how you got into it, just yet I would know. Have you seen a ghost?

I have?

How many ghosts have you seen?

You?

Count them?

Lots lots, some some you saw the full body, some you see bits, orbs orbs?

Are you an or parana person?

I am in the sense that I've actually seen them with my own eyes rather than photos and photos. I know that, you know, I understand. I believe that a lot of them are false positives. I reckon they're dust particles and most of them are. But I've watched them with my own eyes. Yeah, I've seen them, seen them operate.

Okay, Well, how did you get into it?

Always had an interest in the paranormal since before I can even remember, because a little kid, I'd watch everything, read everything I could get my hands on. It was just this interest, you know, in anything that was sort of unusual, you know what I mean, we're all vampires whatever. Back then it was, you know, whereas my wife she's been seeing spirits since she was two. You know, she is dead. She sees dead people. She actually works on

Joe, Yes, okay, all right, so missus course can see the dead people, right, yeah. So she has more sensibility, yes, sens where you can like find with machines and things.

Mine is much more Yeah, the technical side of things.

Yeah, yeah, when the superheroes and there's like Batman who just has all the fancy quick Man, and there's like Superman who actually has the.

Pan exactly exactly definitely the Batman.

Okay, So I want to know the first experience of like seeing your first ghost or thing or energy or what like?

What was that?

Well, the first experience I had was actually when my just after my grandfather had passed away. Yeah, I was still quite young and I saw him in a dream. And when I came out and I spoke to my father and my sister, they both had exactly the same dream at the same night, So we all had the three of us had the same dream. That was probably the first real paranormal what I believe to be paranormal contact that we had with spirit. Yeah.

So when you say you're a paranormal investigator, yes, does that mean that people can bring you out to research or find or discover or yep?

Wow, Okay, how would an investigation run that?

Basically we received a job or you know, a question and under you know, someday we've got something going on, can you help us. There's quite a few chats interviews that we run. We assess the people obviously the you know, human nature, we fear what we don't understand, so we have a chat to them. It's a lot of time. We can settle it with just a chat.

Okay, vibes, that was just the earth.

The earth moved, you know, that sort of thing.

Your air conditioner was on.

It was probably the There's so much stuff that, you know, just having a chat to them, and even if it is paranormal, sometimes it's you know, it might be just old Oni Mary visiting, you know, that sort of thing. It's not necessarily bad. So after that, what we do is we decide we're going to go in and conduct an investigation. We'll first off go in and check the place out to look for things like high EMF levels which can cause hallucinations and all that sort of stuff.

Oh are you saying that it's that, But that's not halting, that.

It's not sextual sound, yes that we can't hear with our ear.

But effect mold. But it's a sound the same thing.

Yeah, you know it can it can affect you, but you can't you might not see it.

What does it come from?

It could come from anything, can come from machinery, It could come from natural sources are like a wind tunnel, or there's a whole range of things have come from. And then if we if we can't find anything like that, we go in and do an investigation and try to help them out.

Okay, so you can measure for black black sound, Yeah, infra sound, infra sound, black noise.

Yeah, Wow, that's what my next album is going to be called. Actually black noise.

Everyone would be a raving sound conel visualize really great.

Then it's it.

So you're just like going in and you go, oh, let's find something.

But then with the vacuum cleaners on our back, are you going.

In there to like confirm that something's happening or to cleanse the space?

Most well, not firm. We go in there neutral. So we're going there and see if we can find something. We're not there with the presumption that there is something paranoral or there isn't unless we are seeing evidence to the contrary, and then we'll go either way. You know, if we feel that it needs a cleansing or a spirit needs to be what we call spirit rescue or something like that. Spirit risk yeah, where we help them

So it's spirit risky. It sounds like it's like I'm just going to spit risky today. Jennie's come on, find the light. Jenday's Genese is Jenday's follow the noise here it is, come on Jena's.

So we do what we need to help the person, and we also teach them how to you know, cleanse the house as well. You know it's mudge sticks or whatever else we might use.

Is there a circumstance where you haven't been able to cleanse a particular area space how Yeah.

Yeah, I've had I've had occasions when I've had to call clergy in to help as well.

They're religious people. Yeah wow, that's like Exorsust five that sort of thing. Oh wow.

And he said, guys, it's beyond me. You're going to have to go in there and read a book to them.

Well, tell me in some cases it's it's you know, it depends, it depends on what needs to be done, and every case is different. We have to adjust our investigations in our work to each case. Okay, it makes sense.

Yeah, yeah, what is What is the scariest experience?

Maybe you don't get scared.

Because anyone that says I don't get scared when they do this work, it is talking crap. If I could say great, because I've seen men like I'm a big guy, but I've seen big guys like run from places because they've been scared. And it's natural, like you, you have fear, but we we try to learn to control that fear. And because the job we're trying to do is to help people. Yeah, and not just living but the ones

Everybody goes making the chocolate. We don't know the Olympers, ghosts, ghost to Olympers.

But there was.

You lid.

We're only going in for a look. And then we had started hearing these things moving around outside. But it wasn't that that was scary. It was a energy of the place. It felt really bad. Yeah, you know, and I've been in places where I've had I've had knives like throwing from spirit pictures far and off walls. I've seen you know, I've had furniture moving. I've done all that, and that scares you. But this really was unsettling. It was really uncomfortable.

You'd rather have pictures thrown at you from a ghost and knives thd you goes then being a nice candlehit bunker with the Olympic.

Is that what you're saying to be?

Yeah, pretty much, I'm saying yeah. I felt it felt really bad and that's probably the most I've been that. I've been scary.

How I'm going to go? Oh do you Well?

We decided we thought, well, we're better leave, so.

We interrupted me.

We walked out and we got in the car and my friend was driving, and we had all the windows up and everything, and there was it was a gravel road and one of the rocks somehow hit him in the back of the head while we were in the car. So something through a.

Rock maybe fun. Maybe they followed you in the car. Maybe they're still in the car now. They could be check the backseat. So why do you like Gettysburg so much?

Yes, Gettysburg wise, I said, it's a battlefield, a lot of death, a lot of dying, a lot of suffering, and I've wanted to go there forever. Just an amazing place, you know, the energy of the place, the experiences were great, and I've I've actually been there twice. I was really lucky and both times had some really amazing experiences. We do a we do think or a shout out when

Right.

What that does is a sound vibration.

Were going halla, hallah.

I was last thinking about the people standing outside the building walking past round what the hell is going on? But anyway, you get this big shout out. Now you can imagine we were actually in an inn, an old inn that was built in like seventeen fifty six or seventy fifty eight in a little town just outside of Gettysburg called Fairfield, and like this is dead, this town is quiet as so we've got twenty odd people spread out through this location and my mate and myself was

Can you time travel vice? Spirits?

Don't know?

Do you think there's it's getting better or worse in terms of people's conceptions within the world of paranoral investigation, that's a.

Really good question.

Yeah, there are a lot of people out there being like, yeah, guys are like three ghosts today and like the leadst pictures of them and you're.

Like, guys, stop ruining it for us. That making us look stupid.

That's exactly right. That the paranormal field has hard enough time as it is. And when I see people doing really silly things or stating things that you know, like oh look this bottle of water, he is possessed, you know, because you know bubbles, you know whatever. In some ways it's getting worse because people have so easy access to social media to show these things and without any vetting.

What was even like a trend for a while still as on the internet YouTube videos, if you're going, I went into a hanted house for twelve hours and here's what happened, and it's just like a bunch of teenagers going like ah, and it is.

It makes us look silly. Yeah, you know, I'm really what I do. Like, I mean, I'm joke and ye with everyone as best of them. But when we're working it's serious. And people say, you know, ghosts can't hurt you, ghosts can't do this, I can't do that, And you know I'll tell you you're wrong. They can hurt you if they if they are so inclined. Yeah, it sounds silly.

I feel a bit sick to you.

Unfortunately, Hollywood has a lot to answer for. Well, yes, but if a spirit is nasty enough, they can Actually I have seen and I've felt it myself oviously had something to try to push me downstairs. I felt a big hand in the back of my on my back commun a shelf. Luckily I had a grip on the railing.

You don't even bring all the presents that the children the stairs exactly, someone to have to put the suit on them becomes center.

I reckon that ghosts to be Santa.

Maybe they did.

Yeah, that's that's it's a bit terrifying.

Would you say that the larger majority of spirits are like grumpy little bitches or they're like nice ones.

It's really like our population, you reckon, Some are bad, some are really bad. Yeah, you know. I've had like a little girl spirit come and actually hold my hand in this in this investigation, and you could feel several times, and you could feel from like halfway up the forearm. My whole hand just turned ice when she held it turned cold. She was a nice spirit, right, the reason that she sounds quite nice and I could feel her at day. But I could feel her hand in my hand.

My only interaction with a spirit slash ghost is I used to work at Dracula's Cabaret in Melbourne. It was always haunted, and we always said it was haunted not because it's Straculas, because.

It was like a factory years yer because of very old building.

Yes, and apparently her name was Antoinette and she fell off into like a big vat or something. And if you were ever there, like once the patrons had left and you're just packing up, you could sense her and you could like see.

Her out the corner of your eye movement. Yeah, you'd be like, what is she doing? And I think she was fine. We liked her.

She was a nasty Yeah, she's like, hi, guys, you're know a line. I'm here, your friend's going I want to play now. I don't think she actually sounded like that, but you know, maybe you never know. Yeah, and she'd be like, oh, it's it's a bit more antientity, like that very much. Yeah, I'll have to go back and visit her one day. Is there anything happening here? Are you sensing anything here? Just a little child? Yeah, and he wants around. He's not threatening on nasty or anything.

And say night, just set my makeup, thank.

You, Because there was a frank of flour mill here and that's wheelbarrowing and that's what you're seeing. So you know, that's just a couple. I'm sure there's a lot more, you know, but.

Imagine getting stuck as it goes and just having any good job for the rest And that's what.

Grumpy.

We're getting stuck at work for attorney. That'd be like doing a hen's party for the rest of my life. Kill me now, no, don't kill me, keep me alive. Well, Bill isn't Santa Claus. No, he's actually a paronrmal investigator. And while I may have been wrong, I'm still going to give myself a point because he's just dealing with a different kind of presence. You've been listening to an

It's me