We're back for another Palette Cleanser episode.
I'm art Simone and recently I found out that I have a long lost twin thanks to the Concealed super salutes.
Yes you heard it right, I.
Have a long lost twin. And you know who that long lost twin is? It's Dom Dollar. And I hear going, who is Dom Dollar? That's what my mum said to me anyway, And I said, well, you're the one that should be answering questions, mum, because why do I have a twin who is the same age as me, is from Australia and looks identical?
What's going on here? What's the true story?
And you know, Avid Concealed listeners would know my mum from her previous episode. Go and listen to it if you haven't. But she wouldn't give up. She wouldn't give you any information about my long lost twin. Was he conceived in a test tube? We actually part of a long lost government top secret testing thing. Are we like twins separated at birth? There was that study where they had they separated twins and put them in different housing
and different socioeconomical things and studied them for years. They didn't even know each other.
Have I just cracked the code? Well, let me take you back anyway.
So we were posting a video on the socials and someone commented that I zimone look like the gay version of Dom Dollar. And if you don't know who Dom Dollar is, he is a world famous DJ. He's currently on the front page of the Rolling Stone. He got the cover and he has lots of incredible songs like insert song name here and that other song and also a song with Turvilier.
Good for him, but it's not my cup of tea.
But for example, if you are from Melbourne, his music would go down really well at REVS or he's performed underneath the car pass like underneath the road very festival, and if you know anything about me, not involved with festivals at all. So this is a real triumphant proof that you know nature versus if you grew up in the Northern Territory, apparently you want to be a DM performance person. The only difference between me and Dom Dollar
is that Dom Dollar has a big old mustache. So I emm a drag queen and I have a lace front mustache in my possession. I pulled it out, glued it on lah and behold, same person, same person.
My whole life is a lie.
So if anyone actually wants to know what Dom Dollar looks like in drag, look at me. I have reached out to Dom Dollar's people and asked to put him in drag, but he has not replied to anything. It's Pride month, gosh rude. But look, it's been quite fun. It went very viral. It's over a million views on TikTok. It's really hard for me, I will admit to you. People's because I've been working very hard in my life to be a superstar drag queen.
You know, I've did lots of things.
I worked for thirteen years to get my profile out there, and in the last twelve months, the most popular I've been has one for dressing is Cathday Night and two for looking like Dom Dollar. So it's a been a bit difficult for me personally. I am having an identity crisis. Dom Dollar did comment on the video and he said that he'll write the music and I can do the gigs. So guys, you may be seeing me underneath the car
park road thing. I actually have been asked to do a fake DJ said as Dom Dollar by one of the clubs here in Melbourne. I was googling him earlier because I don't really know much about him that except that he stole my face.
Rude.
You know, you go on Google and you see the suggested questions. The first question is how much does it cost to hire Dom Dollar? And I'll tell you what they say, forty five thousand dollars. I'd be a lot cheaper, but I will not be Dom Dollar for legal purposes. I will be either Dom doll Hairs or dumb Dollar.
But on celebrity look alikes. This is not the first time this has happened to me, because I also get recognized for another person, and that is the singer young Blood and blood is spelt with you, but he's a UK singer, artist, rockstar and apparently we look really similar, so much so that I was at Mardi Gras afterparty at Lame Way last year and you know, big night the night before, so not feeling my best, but still went out, you know, pride, and I got a tap
on the sholder while I was there with my friends and this guy goes, I'm not sure if you get this, but has anyone ever told you that you look like and in that moment I was waiting for him to go Art Simone, or I was waiting for him to recognize me as Art, and I was like, oh, here we go again. Yes, got me, Yes, it's me Art Simone. And he goes young Blood. I said, what who? He goes young Blood. You've even got the eyebrows. It's amazing. Look at the eyebrows, all for you.
Come on?
And I was surrounded by my group of friends who have not let me live that down ever since, so much so that they just changed my contact profile photos to young Blood. They send me pictures of young Blood, they say, have you ever seen the two of them the room together? No, I am not young Blood, i am not Dom Dollar, I'm not casfe Night.
I'm Art Simon.
But you know what, I'm happy for the attention, and I'm grateful that my face. Maybe I've got a career after I do drag and I have to not wear makeup anymore. If I can look like all these people, they're going to get hold too. So that's a long lasting career if you ask me. Anyway, That's what's been happening in my world. But stick around because coming up the soapboxes back, we've got a little artifact to show you, and I am going to be giving you the top three celebrities that need.
To be canceled right now. This is the palette cleanser. Let's go see out of backs.
Oh, welcome back to the artifacts are I saw something out of my purse and you have to listen to it. It's show and tell for adults, and I get to bring in some of my more cursed items. But also don't forget if you also want to show off one of your things, send a picture jump of the socials and send it an email with a picture and I can show it off to the people. Maybe don't even explain what it is, and then I can try and work it out.
I'll get it wrong.
But the item I brought for you from the depths of my purse is a family heirloom that was gifted to me when I was but a whee lass. There may be something about me that you may have worked out. But I am very hard on myself. I want to do the best that I can, and when I don't do the best that I can, I get really really angry at myself. And it's happened since I was a kid.
I'm pretty sure. In the episode with My Mum, she talks about the stories of me and kindergarten, where I'd be really upset that I couldn't read and other people could. The good news for you and me is that that did not end at kindergarten, did not end in primary school.
High school, nor on RuPaul's drag Race.
I made enemies in my brain about all the people that were better at things than I was not healthy to do. But apparently my family liked to encourage that because there was one person. This was from high school. The nickname for this person was smarty Pants, because they really like to emphasize how much smarter they were than myself. But also everyone I really didn't gel well with me. You don't rub it in. So my grandmother misted me,
not needted me. So she's sewed from her used pantyhose, so it's really got some of my beautiful grandmother's soul in there. She created the smarty Pants voodoo dole, so he is a.
Little voody doll boy.
He's got a little smiley face on in a Marone school uniform. And then this is the piece of resistance. She has glued little smarties all over his pants, so he's Smarty pants. He does come complete with a whole bunch of pins. And I would use this in high school to enact revenge on Smarty Pants.
Did it work? Absolutely not. Did it make me feel better? Hell yeah.
This is not the only voodoo doll I have that was made for me by a family member. And let's just say that they're still being made to this day. The gauntlet has been passed on and down to another person in my family. Be careful because if you wrong me, you may be too into one of these. We need
to cancel these celebrities, all right. You know, Katie Perry is a currently canceled queen and she is touring the country at the moment, and people aren't happy with her, clearly because she went to space, well kind of went to space. She floated for a bit and looked into a camera and then kissed the ground. But they also didn't like her because she was working with that producer and made that bad song Woman's World.
So people don't like it. They've canceled her.
But you know what, after all of that, I think she can kind of stick around because I recently found out that we have something in common, Katy Perry and I and it's not being you know, talented song people, you know, singers, artists, actors, dancers, good looking.
No.
Katie Perry also hates laboo boots so much so that at a concert the other day she literally kicked one out of someone's hands. She's like, so for that, I am going to officially here today for everyone uncanceled.
Katie Perry.
Sorry, she's not the cancelation list, but I hear you going. Well then, who else is on it? Don't worry, I've got your sordered because I've got three celebrities that need to be canceled right now. And I'm going to start off pretty strong. Tyra Banks. Yeah, I'm starting off with a really big strong one. Tyra Banks, who is now a Sydney resident and just in the last week has opened up her ice cream shop, Smise and Dream the ice Cream Fantasy. She is unhinged. Look, I'm all for it.
I'm all for a crazy lady who's selling her wares. But the thing that made me want to cancel her is I was very fortunate enough to be invited to the opening of this ice cream shop.
So I got an invite.
I just want to read you a few things from this invite where I was like, Okay, this is too much, babes. I know you're happy, you've got your open card and you're going on the ferry. I know you're happy, you're in Sydney, lovely weather, your family's here.
That's good.
But this is how intensely serious she is about her SMIs and Dream ice Cream factory. It goes a bit like this, I'm inviting you to step inside my SMIs and Dream ice Cream fantasy.
And this bit is in bold and yes, I'll be there.
Not that Ai ice cream hair chick at the top of this invite, the real me, but with faux hair. I'll personally be guiding you through the full on SMIs and Dream ice Cream experience. This is not a basic ice cream shop. This is Flavor Theater with epic lighting that I made sure makes you look hot with the wile the ice cream stays cold. I'll feed you my stories and maybe spoon feed a few of you.
Ah.
This isn't just a launch, It's my dream.
I want you right in the middle of it.
Wow, Tyra Mayle has really gone wild since America's next Top Model.
Look. I love it. I'm sure it was written with chat GPT, but it is so intense. It's a bit of milfy.
I mean, ice cream is sexy, and Tyra is sexy, but I just wasn't prepared for that to be in my inbox. And I feel like I needed a cold shower or maybe a cold ice cream after it. But I'm sorry, Tyra Banks, but for your unhinged ice cream fantasy, you are canceled all right, next up on the list, and it's probably gonna break a lot of people's hearts.
I'm gonna have to cancel Sarah Jessica Parker. Now she's gone. She's gone.
I've had enough, and you know why Love Sex in the City and just like that also the worst name for a TV show in the world. But if you haven't had the pleasure of watching this television show, it is the worst written thing I have ever seen. It is so out of touch, it is so so bizarre. The characters don't make any sense. And I love every bit of it, like every bit, and I hate myself for it, and I hate Sarah Jessica Parker for it.
I hate that she's made me fall in love with this bizarre TV show that I have to watch every week. I had to get a Max subscription so I could watch it. Most people got that to watch The Last of Us. No, I was so I can watch my still little show with Sarah Jessica Parker and all her little friends.
It's really bad.
So for catfishing me into wanting to watch your television show and me secretly liking it. Sarah Jessica Parker, you had cancer. Last one that canceled list today is singer, acrobatic person, tight jumpsuit wearer Benson Boone. I'm sorry, Boone, but you get in the boot. You were canceled and I go go, why why?
Oh? This guy's just winging.
It's because he has a victim complex at the moment I saw he release the whole music video like parroting that everyone doesn't like him. What is going on? Just sing your song and jump off the piano and shut up. I do feel a bit bad for him because one of the reviews said that apparently he wrote his album in was it seventeen days or seventeen hours? I think it was seventeen hours, And apparently you can tell I
won't be listening to it. Also, the boy's like twenty two years old, but also looks like he's thirty eight, and that's a bit ominous. Benson Boone, did you sell your soul to the devil so you could flip?
Was all?
The flipping made the skin on your face move a bit weirdly, So maybe it just doesn't find the place to sit back down again.
I don't know.
I don't know about aerodynamics or space travel, but I think there's something weird happening when you flip. But Benson Boone for atrocities to the jumpstick nation and victim complex. When you really haven't got anything to complain about, you might can backflip out of here, you bitch. So Box alright, it's time for my favorite segment because I'm not required to do anything.
It's all up for you.
It's the soap oop, where we give my beautiful podcast airtime to.
One of you. And it's that easy. You just need a jump on the socials.
We've got a link at the bio there where you can send in a sixty second soapbox moment and here going, Well, what's going in the soapbox? Well, it can be anything. You could be spooking your wares. You could be sending a message to someone out there. You could be promoting a gig you're doing. You could be reading a poem or singing a song. It's anything, and we're about to find out what we have this week for our soapbox because I I'm not sure.
Okay, here we go, but it's me.
Your stomach. I've been trying to communicate with you for months, but to no avail. It's a mess down here as your stomach. I've been doing my best for babes. You got to meet me halfway. I know you've said in the past that you don't like kombucha. I know you've said it's fizzy yogurt water. But I'm pleading with you today on this podcast to give it another chance. I your stomach desperately need those organic live cultures and antioxidants.
I'm begging you to try drinking Remedy kombucha. It's delicious and I'm craving that sweet no sugar, all natural flavor.
Everything is making sense now because you know what rocked up to my house yesterday, twelve bottles of Remedy komb butcher.
I don't know how we made that happen. That's magical.
I have said previously that kom Butcher is physiogurt water and I'm not really a fan, but I did have a very very tough time the last couple of weeks. Without going into too much information, but the stomach was not happy. So maybe this is the time. Okay, I will vow here on this airtime to try this remedy komb butcher, whatever it is, and maybe check in on the socials to see what I think about it.
I'll put my update there. Thank you to my stomach for sending that in, and thank you to a remedy. Well. Thank you so much for joining us here for the palate cleanser.
Once again, it's been an absolute joy to tickle your equals here, and don't forget. If you want to jump online, you can submit a voice note for either our soapbox, which is where you can promoe anything.
But also for arts advice. You want to bring that segment back again for you.
If you have anything you need a bit of help with a bit of advice on I'm here to help you. Just send through a voice note on our socials. Don't worry, We'll be back next week with a new Concealed episode and our guest is a crazy, redheaded ball of energy who has a badger tatoo, is a pole.
Dancing diva, author and will never leave the country because of what she's concealed. And then you've got to strap in for that one, guys, so I can't wait for you to hear it. I musimone.
You're all waldy fabulous and we'll see you next week, babe,