Well hallai, I'm back. Yes.
And if you thought we don't cover every strange, peculiar and eccentric wido, oh, you'd be oh so wrong. I've been working so hard to uncover the little secrets and strange things people are keeping concealed from the world, or even concealed from me. So strap in and strap on because things might get a little naughty.
Ah.
This is concealed with art simone, and I'm art Simone.
Duh. Let's meet our guests. Roll thata do it.
Hi. My name is Renee. I have lived in Melbourne since nineteen ninety eight, when I immigrated here from the US to marry my internet love. I work as a bus US this analyst on large scale IT projects and business improvement projects. I manage a registered charity I started in twenty fifteen and I'm currently building a new consulting business. I have one daughter, who came with me from the
States and whom I'm very proud of. My interests in hobbies are wide and varied, ranging from an extensive library to a fishing coral marine tank, to visit historical sites and traveling. I also like home crafts, make my own curtains, put together booknooks and new cross stitch. But I'm concealing another part of my life that some may consider quite dangerous.
How every day? How are you good?
I loving to meet you. Thanks for coming into the studio today. Now we've never met before. Let me describe you, all right. We've got a beautiful nights. I'd say business chik blazer on and ie broach Ooh.
That's very fancy that.
It's my grandmother's.
Oh. I love that. We've got some pearls, but they're like dark.
Pels, because yeah, dark, that's my thing.
I'm trying to pick them it so right, beautiful, all right, nice tim short hair, spectacular spectacles. Now I have to check are they prescription?
They are?
Oh good? All right, all right, I'll just check.
Because sometimes people come in here and they try to fool me with the disguise. I don't want that to be you today.
No, I never disguised myself.
And you are slightly shorter because we have just had a bit of a struggle trying to get you up onto the studio chair today.
I don't know if that has anything to do with it.
You know, I've got to pick it up, all right, So a bit of background. So you move to your nineteen ninety eight for a lover an internet love I did.
Oh can you tell me about that chat room? Yes?
We talked for about eight months. He flew me over here, spent two weeks here, got engaged, kicked off the immigration visa before I went home, waited five months, it came through, and four weeks later my daughter and I were in Australia.
Oh, my goodness, loved good story.
Six months later I got married.
And are you still together? We are?
Not six years?
Six and a half years, though, that's pretty good.
It was a pretty good.
And you said I'm going to stick around though.
Oh absolutely, I'm a citizen. I renounced my US citizenship in twenty eighteen.
Wow.
Yeah, so you're stuck with me. I'm running for prime minister years.
Okay, people, business analysts, Is that what you said?
Yes? What is that?
Nobody knows? No, no, not even us. And we we just sort to do everything we get on these projects and then we tell people what we think they need to know and what you do, and we document things and we don't actually do a lot of work.
Well, someone has to do it. I think one has to do it. And amazed. I'll be you. You have a lot of interests. I do you like to do a lot of things? I get bored easy, Yes, the lot.
I've stopped writing them down because there were so many. How do you how do you keep up with all of those things?
I don't always.
I love that though. I love that.
I got to retire soon so I can do all the things I'm interested in.
I love that. Okay.
So now I'm gonna ask you three questions, okay, and from the answers to the three questions, plus with the bit of the background info, I'm going to try and work out what it is that you were concealing from me.
Okay, here we go.
Question number one, what would you call your autobiography?
Well, I actually have one in progress because I also write. I couldn't put everything down. I actually have about three books in progress, but this one's called going Bold Bold or bald Bold. So I had my head shaped for charity some years ago and found it to be a very difficult thing. It actually was the scariest thing I ever did, to be honest, which was sort of surprised me. So it was for the Lukemia Foundation. It was a business thing and So my book is about taking risks
and how to really live a full life. You know, you need to get out there, you need to take some risks. You need to throw yourself sometimes into situations that scare you a situations you don't know the outcome if you're really going to have an exciting and interesting life going.
So I feel every time I take a week.
Off, I hated it.
Okay, Question number two, what's an unusual thing that you have in your house?
Well, I have a lot of unusual things, you can bet. But one of my favorites that people don't seem to appreciate is a picture that I picked up from the Men on Men exhibition at the Laired called Pancake Daddy. And is this really big older guy, yes, who's stark naked. He's laying on a stack of pancakes. Is that strawberries
in the background. He's pouring syrup over himself, you know, and he's looking out like he's been discovered, and he just he looks so happy, but he also looks so like, oh my god, people are looking at me kind of thing. And my partner and I just absolutely adore it. And see my kitchen, So you can't really miss.
It, but that would make me appetised. Should we eat in the kitchen? That would be true.
I'd walk and be like, oh I'm hungry. I don't know why, Okay.
And the third, where is the strangest place you've fallen a slip?
Well? I did.
It's the strangest, but it's probably the worst place I ever fell asleep. I used to have a beautiful little Silver MX five that I was my pride and enjoyed. And it's a sports car. It's a convertible. Yeah, it's a little convertible that you really should go up there. Great, it's a musta musta car. And uh yeah, So I used to drive it a lot, like all the time, and I used to go to parties a fair amount
when I was a few years younger. And I guess I was getting older because it was one o three am coming back from a health fire party and I kind of ran into a tree and totaled it as I fell asleep away from.
It. Was a bit of a party girl. Oh what can I say?
Okay, all right, God, I mean, I've got lots of things in my head after all of this, but enough they come together in a beautiful clear pitcher that can hang in your kitchen.
All right? So nat and audio going bald? Didn't like that?
Raise money leukemia pancake, Oh, sexy man on pancake, Oh yummy, falling asleep. I had a nap in a master beautiful car, but on the way back from a hell fire party. All right, So there's lots of fun things going out, okay, and crosstitch, Oh what is that pained for you? I don't know's it's okay? And I are you a dominatrix close?
I'm a polyamorous, pan sexual, sadistic leather master who also lived for a number of years as a full time slave in a master slave relationship. I earned my cover in twenty nineteen after twenty one years of actively practicing bbsm.
Oh Man, well done. We have a lot to go in. I'm excited about that.
I'm going to give myself a pattern the back for that one, because I don't think I would have got that so specific.
Ah, I'm going to take this one as a win. I got a right, yes, oh, Renee. We have so much to find out to do a leather master. Ah, hydrids leather weather.
I'll go get.
Mine all right, So we are here with Renee, who I got it pretty close, may not be a dominatrix, but is a leather master amongst a whole amount of other.
Things as well.
Oh my goodness, let's let's go back to the basics. To be a leather master, you have to be part of the BDSM community. Can you tell me what BDSM is?
So. BDSM is an acronym that came out in the nineteen nineties to basically expand what was originally S and M, which is cetamasochism. But it's a bit more than that, so that sounds for bondage discipline cetamasochism, and the DS can also stand for dominance and submission, which is power exchange, so more the emotional side of things. And it's everything from a lifestyle for some people to just a set of activities. Some people's just a bedroom thing. Some people
it extends beyond that. Some people it's sexual, some people it's not. So it's actually really deep and complicated and has a long history, like eighty to ninety years of history actually, which most people don't know.
Yeah, I guess it's not like simply black and white or one set of rules that apply to every single situation.
Right, No, No, absolutely not. The thing about BDSM is that while we can have some general principles that we say we apply and we say we apply broadly, it's an individual thing. So anyone can actually do anything they want. You know, if you spank your partner in the bedroom, you're basically doing BDSM, whether anyone knows it or not. Or you might be out at clubs, you might be out at munches, which are social gatherings, you might be
running a business off of it. It's so wide and so varied and so personal that you can't really, you know, put it in a box and say it's just one or two different things.
Now, how did you get involved into this world?
Well?
How did it happen?
By accident? Kind of? I had an internet relationship fall apart in nineteen ninety six December in nineteen ninety six, I was really upset and a friend of mine on the internet. She said, come to these chat rooms with me. You know, they'll divert you. So I went. One of it was called Torture Chamber and the other one was called Submission.
And you said, oh okay, yeah.
I went in and she said, oh, oh, we have to give you another name, oh, you know, and a little bird and I was a little bird for years. And I went in there and I said, Hugh, you guys are really weird and I'm not like you, which is really ironic now because my whole life has been around that since. But yeah, it took a little while. But they were lovely, lovely people, and they didn't care what I thought of them, and they just said, yeah,
that's okay. You know you want to hang around, go ahead, you don't want to hang around.
Leave So then you started in this chat room world, and then how did you kind of branch off to then what you do now, you know, or like in person?
Yeah, it was. And they like to say this because a lot of people say, oh, if you're not doing things in real life, you know, you're not really doing them, especially now there's a lot of things about doing things on the internet. But I made a lot of friendships, a lot of relationships on the Internet that translated to
real life at some point. And so I spent about five months playing around internet, six phone, six different relationships, got some training from a guy in Seattle, and although we didn't meet until later, and all kinds of things, and after five months, I said, you know, I need
to see what this is really like. So I was involved at that time with a cross dressing dominant in New York and I lived in Montana, which is wait far away, and he sent me a ticket and I went spent a week with him, and after about three days he said, nothing has to happen, and that was fine. But after about three days something just sparked and we got into it and it blew my mind and I just never looked back. From there. I said, this is my place, this is my people, this is what I needed,
This what I've been missing in my life. And I came home and it was like, no, I have to pursue this. So a year later I moved to Australia, but I'd already met online the people here in the community because they had their own chat rooms here called
Ospedism doesn't exist anymore. And so when I got here, I was vetted by four women for two hours sake sat together with me, talked with me, figured out who I was, my ideas, my attitudes, what I knew, and then they said, okay, you're all right, come to the club on this night.
Wow. Really yeah?
And I wait. My husband and I at the time, we walked down an alley to a roller door.
Roller door went.
Up, big guys standing under a ball, you know, like who are you? And then and then Belinda came out and chained and nothing else and said, oh, they're with me and that was our birthday party, and well be bopped in and from then on, you know, we were accepted into the community and invited to various things.
So would you say the community is quite protective of each other and themselves in terms of who they let in to make sure they're the right fit or the right vibe or what's that like?
Well, this is the problem. There was a place called fet Life that came in almost ten years ago, I guess now, And when we went on there, we thought it was great because they had cleared out all the chat rooms. The owners had come and stripped out all the sex channels and the BDSM channels and we couldn't meet there anymore, so we didn't have an online place to go to. So we thought this was great, and it was for a while, but because it was an open forum and they wanted more people on and because
people started advertising events openly, we got flooded. We got flooded and flooded and flooded, and we're still flooded. We have thousands of people entering every year. Yeah, and that's driven a lot of people underground.
Now.
When I came in, Yeah, you had to be on the list, you had to be known, you had to have certain underlying principles that you accepted and agreed to and worked with. We were very protective of each other, even if we didn't like each other, because we needed each other. Right. It was an underground and we acted like an underground. You didn't know people's real name. That was funny sometimes, what's that me being a drag queen? I don't know half my friend's real names. I know
we went we were trying to get some credit. Once my husband and I are like, oh, we should call you know, we should call less and it's like, well, what's their last name? We don't know? I didn't know, Well, yeah, hello, you know, because it was very secretive, you know, it's very about protecting people, not outing people, because it was dangerous in the early days.
You're going to say, is that I'm sure there was and they probably still is a bunch of stigma around your community essentially.
Well, it's interesting, honestly because what I found being an advocate and talking to what we call vanilla people, they didn't like that much. Talking to them, I actually find a lot more acceptance. Now that's not the way it used to be, but a lot more acceptance now. On some times, it's people within our community that are actually less accepting than people outside. Where ten years ago, fifteen years ago, Yeah, you couldn't really talk about it openly.
You could lose your job, you could lose your partner, you could lose your family. There's still people who you'll lose your family. There is still absolutely by some prejudice out there. But there's a lot more acceptance than our people sometimes understand. I mean, they're just too frightened to find out earlier.
I use the term a mounch. Can you tell me what a monch is?
Well, a monch is a non vanilla luncheon. Really, a monch was actually created specifically in the old days to encourage newcomers to come and meet us. So the rules where you couldn't wear outrageous clothing or fetish style stuff, you had to look very vanilla. You couldn't bring toys and things. It was to encourage people to feel safe with us, find out we're just people, you know, and then go from there.
It's good for people to meet the community and the people around them.
To get people out meeting real people. And I'm saying we're not as scary as they say, at least not outside ourselves.
When consensual for everybody.
When we're scary, up my dungeon scary.
So what is like, what does the scope of BDSM, What does that look like for you?
Like, Oh, that's been a journey because I was very submissive.
I was.
I found out that my sexuality was tied to BDSM because for me, vanilla sex is just a no go, no interest cirrial. I was nine years old, but after my daughter was born, didn't miss it right. That was before I found BDSM. So my sexuality is definitely around it. But I also had submissive tendencies, so I did that for a while. I served dominance. I was under contract for a few months to one dominance.
What does that mean under contract?
Well, we wrote up a contract, so we signed this contract and then I served team. I served a few others and then when I separated from my husband, I decided to go for. I only wanted relationships within BDSM because while he wanted to try it, it turned out not to be his thing.
Right, Okay, So I started.
Dating a man. We call it dating. I don't really call it dating. We started to engage. We engage for eight months. I said I was going to move out of my house. He said, you'll move in with me. I've signed the contract. Show Wednesday, I'll show you the place. And so he became my master. He was my master for seven years.
And in some of these scenarios, Amasa can have a bunch of people, right, Well.
If you're Polly, yes, right, So you can have monogamy or you can have polyamory. And I've always been polyamorous. I mean even when I was long before I met BDSM, I was always had multiple dates and things like that. So he really polyamory as a whole.
She could open up, right.
So we had agreements that, yes, there would be other people, but the main thing was it was a true what we call a total power exchange, which means that he had all right and full control and he made all decisions.
Wow.
Yeah, so I you know I went into that deliberately. I wore a slave collar. I had a custom made pendant when I had my hair done. The biggest thing was that my collar in lock. Okay, I didn't realize. I wasn't thinking about it until they shaved it off. And then there were all of my colleagues were work there.
And so all the way Rise twenty four seven.
Twenty four to seven, it never came off.
Wow, you've cut your hair. People can see your padlock. How does that go down? What's the situation there?
So there's forty consultants, you know, crammed into this little office, too barbarous going, and I'm drinking wine, you know, get my bravery up and my beautys and go for it, go for it. And I sit in the chair and he starts shaving them, thinking, oh my god, here's all of my colleagues and I had long red hair, yes, and it's coming off, and whether they've noticed or not, they're definitely going to see this now. So I was
kind of expecting there to be some commentary. There wasn't any commentary, but I heard a couple of years later from one of the people that I used to work with that one of the development guys wanted me fired. But actually none of my colleagues ever spoke about it, which I'm very appreciative.
It's like, oh, that's an interesting locker you've got there, it's around the wrong way. That's oh wow, maybe you lost Tiffany, is it?
Ah?
I love that.
So that lock was from your first relationship as a submissive. So what was it like when you left that?
Yeah?
So that was hard leaving that because a lot of my life was around him and it took me five months to leave my house besides like going to work or groceries to break the mental bonds that I deliberately created. And I knew what I was doing. I knew that could happen.
So when they're in charge of everything, is that everything or is it just within the bedroom or scenario is like that?
No, it was everything, And that can make some people don't understand that when you put yourself in that mental emotion, you choose. That is a lifestyle. It's not like you pick and choose. So even if something is really really difficult, it is how do I serve? How do I maintain this right? Because the old rules were that when you stopped wying to do it, that ended the relationship. So it's very serious stuff for some of us. A very small proportion of the scene is went down that road,
and very few people go down that road now. But I found a lot of value in it, and it actually helped me in a lot of ways. I also found things that you know, we think are so important, I found really weren't all that important at the end of the day, because I lived without them. After I left him, I started training other submissives into the lifestyle that sort of developed a dominant side. My first trainee actually was trying to get into a relationship with me.
So three years after I trained her, I took her on. She moved in with me. That was my first female relationship in my fifties, and I was her master for three years.
What was that like from you know, that's full, that's full full? It was really hard, Yeah, to start with.
I was actually angry to begin with, you know, because like I was going to be a submissive slave forever and I really really kind of angry at the change for a while. But she really helped me. I mean, she really loved my dominance and really encouraged me to be the best I could be. And so I grew into that a lot because of her, and I really give her credit for that, but she decided to go on another path down the road, and I don't switch back. I don't have an interest in that, so I still play.
I have a polycule, so I have a primary and two other partners.
So we kind of touched on this bit, like what is the role of consent in the BDSM world?
Consent? See, I learned consent twenty five years ago, right, which is wonderful you hear about it now. But that kind of came because we became more open and we started to talk about the things we did within. But consent was what I was taught in the very beginning. Nothing without consent. And the other thing I learned, which is one of the things that really have focused me on the lifestyle, is I had partners that cared about me, that put the focus on what was happening to me.
So whether it was sexual or not, you know, it wasn't like, oh, they got sex and they wandered off, you know, it was no. Their job was to make sure I had an amazing experience. But nothing ever happened without discussion or talk. So I don't care what you were doing if it wasn't on the cards or if you said stop no, we had safe words. If that
came out, everything stopped. So being treated that way was just eye opening and I could never go back, you know, to vanilla life, because I know a lot of that still happens in vanilla life. And I'm like, no, you don't treat me that way. So we learned to really stand up for ourselves and to say no, you're not doing that. Yeah, right, no matter what the situation.
I feel like there's a lot more communication in the BDSM world.
There's so much community, Like.
Why would they shut up?
Now?
Tell me about your dungeon. I didn't even know. I couldn't think of a better way to say it. To help me about your dungeon.
The best part of my dungeon is this hidden Oh I have a secret room in my house.
I love it.
Yes, doesn't everyone want a secret?
Everyone wants? Oh my god.
I went on this like TikTok like like whole the other day where it was all these hidden rooms that people put in their houses, and I was like.
One of my play partners made me a bookcase because in front of the door frame and it happens to be on a wall that looks like it's very natural there because the walls angled. Yeah, and so nobody else is there. And it's a big room too. It's a second living area, so large, and it's full of lots and lots of things.
Cabinet of curiosity.
Oh hello, I'll go chest out the furniture, go for a swing.
Maybe we'll get one of that. I love it, I love it.
Renee walked in here looking like a sweet little old lady, and she was sweet, but she's also into some dirty things.
Go your good thing.
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