¶ Intro / Opening
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Dr. Conan?
¶ The Gummy Challenge and Initial Reluctance
Hello, Conan O'Brien here. Normally this would be a fan interaction of some kind. This is the drop. I call it the drop. Where uh where, you know, I I talk to somebody in the world and those are fun. Today we're gonna do a little something uh different. And and this is called fan service. I know my fans are anxiously awaiting word on um My gummy situation. Uh huh. Now, let's recap for anyone who didn't hear that and doesn't know the situation. Not long ago, Sona, you got me some gummies.
Sure did. And um you they're lovely looking. It's these canisters that are just gorgeous. Yeah. Uh and they're gummies. You got me all kinds of gummies for all kinds of occasions. Isn't that true? Yes, I did. What were some of the gummies? Uh refresh my mind. Some of them were to, you know, liven you up, maybe put some pep in your step. Yep. Uh they're all I I'm I'm gonna say they're all Camino brand. They have not sent us anything yet.
It's probably in the main.
It better be. Maybe Also maybe they're on brand and they're taking their time. They can't get off the couch. Like they're all stoners there. Well, it's a fun little riff. Well if you say so. Yeah, pretty funny. Okay anyway. Yeah, but we gotta did we didn't send those? I forget, man. Um
No, they're never sending you anything.
They saw I saw ones for sleep, they all different flavors, you know, I I I s I gave I gave you a butt. Thinking that it could help you. You gave me a bunch and I was excited. I was looking at them all and I thought this could really change my life. Maybe uh you know, I've I've a lifetime. A lifetime of being on it. Um well you can fill in the blanks here. Uh type A buttons gotta follow the rules. Follow the rules. L seven Wheeny.
Yeah. I don't know what muh but the but when when you go muh, but I gotta don't make up all the rules. I can't do anything. Oh it's not frowned upon. That's how I I don't that's my impression of you. It's like oh gosh. Guys, don't do that. Guys, guys, it can fry your brain cells, everybody. Yeah. So you were just you're a straight lace. I think that's fair to say. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a bad thing.
Well, I after what you just did, after that whole run, I think it's a terrible thing. It's not bad being a cyborg sent from the future to destroy humankind. Um Yeah. So I need to come clean. Uh people are probably uh and we we think fans are saying, Oh my god, Conan got these gummies, what happened?'Cause he promised he was gonna go off and and do them and this is the hilarious part. It's now been I think two weeks. Yeah, it's been a minute.
Yeah, it's been a minute. Well, I just said two weeks, so not factual. Um two weeks is the appropriate time span. All right, here's this here's the update and I think this is gonna have to be a work in progress. And I have turned taking gummies into a chore. I have turned taking gummies into a I'll get to it. I just have to slot it in. I know. That's what I've done with gummies. And apparently the best gummies one can get Camino. Camino. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
Um hee mean, they mentioned this, man. Cheech and Chong work there? Yeah, they do. So um uh I'll come clean. I have nibbled on the corner of the sleep one. And literally I wanna say less than half. First of all, they're delicious. They are. They are really uh they taste great and I think paired with the right wine, fantastic. Okay. So anyway, I wine I wanna say maybe I had a quarter I'm like that's a little quarter of one. We'll get to you, Eduardo. Eduardo based Eduardo. Wardo.
famously called me a little bitch on the podcast um because he uh he heard me being squeamish about taking my gummy and Uh, so anyway, you're being proven right, Eduardo.'Cause what I've managed to do in two weeks is I think on two occasions nibbled on maybe a quarter of one. And it looks like a very tiny mouse got it one. That's what it looks like. I mean, the smallest mouse that ever a mouse embryo lived long enough to nibble on the corner
of a sleep gummy and yeah, I'm a redhead, so I'm very tolerant. So of course I've felt nothing so far, and that's nothing on Camino. Big supporter. He man. Thanks, man. But uh you know, I haven't gone whole hog. Now there's another one that gets you uh w w It's called exhilarating. It's called like no, there's one called chill. Oh yeah, chill, chill. I don't need to be exhilarated because let's face it.
I was born um kind of leaning into life. Yeah, and I don't need that. I don't need to be sped up. Chill is the one that interested me. I have not tried one yet and I'll look at it and I'll go, well, I'll try and get to that tonight. I don't know. Yeah, go ahead.
Uh when you when you said that y you're treating it like a chore I did I think we were on the phone on Friday and David was there and I I begged you to take the to try it over the weekend and you like kinda groan
Because Adam is like, we need this. The fans need to Adam is always wielding his whip and Adam is like, you need to get to this. This needs to be a segment and the fans are waiting and you're about to leave for your next travel show and you'll be gone for two weeks. And I started going, okay. So I've got a guy on the phone nagging me.
And he could have been someone from the IRS saying, do you gotta file your return on the fifteenth? And I'm going, I'll get to it. I just haven't had it. I've got to go find the shoebox of receipts. That is my attitude about taking a gummy. Where does this come from?
Is this something like you want us to put in your calendar? Like
Take it I think you have to. put it in my calendar. So I'm a side b is that it? I'm like archiving. I think you're just you're you're overthinking it. Look, if you don't want to do it, that's fine. We're not pure pressuring you. Are we pure pressures? Yeah. And you are exerting enormous Eduardo called me a little bit. That was just an observation. That wasn't peer pressure. That wasn't
Just an observation. Between your little bitch, Adam calling me anxiously and saying, we gotta get on this. Um, yeah, I guess I'm feeling a little bit of pressure. Uh, but I'm I'm going to I'm gonna do it.
¶ Family Influence, Tolerance, and Taboos
Uh I'm just If we could be real here for a second, I come from, you know, I as you know, my dad, uh, a doctor, um, and He we I mean, I just grew up he was against us taking anything. I mean, you know, aspirin was like a big leap. Do you know what I mean? And so that's why that's probably My dad? I don't know. Yeah, he was. I you know my dad was you know my dad was Jamaican. He was Jamaican. He was in a ska group in the fifties.
No no my dad was in a ska a very good ska band in Jamaica and then he uh emigrated to Boston in the late fifties and um his stage name was O'Brien. And uh then he uh cut his hair and became uh, you know microbiologist at Brigham Women's Hospital in Boston. Well I think your dad would have been more on board with you z you know, taking an edible than doing like taking an antibiotic, for instance.
So I think he would have been on board. My dad was a, you know, leading authority on antibiotic resistance. This is the stuff the fans really want to hear about. After his ska band. Yeah. Well His I'm sorry, his ska band was antibiotic resistance. That's what a name. And it was a name that really was unpopular in Jamaica. And Jimmy Cliff was telling him you gotta change that and he was like, Hey man you know, and it's a whole thing. I mean I
Uh so anyway, um he uh he would have been in favor uh he was in favor of antibiotics. This is okay my dad was not like an RFK junior. He was in favor of the right, correct antibiotic. He just didn't like it when people took The shotgun approach to antibiotics, which is a major problem. Yes. And has caused a lot of uh resistant bacteria and been a huge issue. And I bring that up in my dad's memory. Uh and I think he was correct.
Obviously he was correct. But anyway, um get back getting back to the fun part, I think that uh no, my dad would have been like, What? You don't take something that what you want to relax? That would've said. You wanna relax? You wanna you wanna not be on guard for a second? What are you talking about? So that's the culture I come from. Okay. You know, we we've gotta go to Catholic church, we've gotta we've gotta stay on it.
And uh that's been my that's been my way. Okay. But I think it's it's only because you've expressed some interest in it. That's why we we think it'll be I know. Again, no peer pressure. I'm also intrigued by uh the thought of an orgy. I mean, there's a lot of things that there's a lot of things that intrigue me. But I don't think I'll try it. Am I intrigued by the idea of there being nine naked bodies, all of us rolling around?
On a massive bed You know, and uh there's the ladies, but there's also the fellas and things are flipping and floppin'. You know, sure. Am I curious? Yeah. Have I made several appointments sometimes? Yes, I have.
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You grow up Catholic the way I did, there are all these things, the notion of it titillates you. I just said titillate. That see saying titillate intrigued me for a long time and I just said it for the first time. Um You things excite you, but you oh God forb you know, it's forbidden fruit. You don't go there. So for me that's the chill gummy. Now, I think I made a big step by eating a quarter of a sleep gummy.
That is true.
And um And you felt nothing. Well, uh yeah, I have to say, and that's not on the gummy brand at all. That's on me. I'm six four. Yes. You know, 193 pounds of pure beef. I'm also a redhead, so pure beef. Well I'm sorry. I am. Oh very muscular. Yeah. Uhhuh. Uh you and people are surprised when they you know You you are in great shape. And that's why I thought, you know, maybe half or even a full five milligram would be I'm not ready to do that yet. That's okay.
Baby steps. Also, I'm always operating heavy machinery. That's a regular part of my life. I bought a uh I bought a forklift about a year ago and one of my ways of relaxing is just driving it around the neighborhood. Um and lifting things and storing them in a warehouse. So you know, you can't. You can't take medication or gummies before you operate the forklift. But no, I'm gonna get to it. I promise, but I think it's
This is unintentional. It sounds like a bit, but it really isn't. You gave me gummies. I was excited and I've turned it into something I need I need to carve out time for that, which is so hilarious. It is really funny the way you're overthinking. Here we go.
Well can I just ask a question which is
Well you're doing it right now. Let's go.
Uh which is w which is w you've had beer and wine and alcohol and it wears off. I mean, this is the same thing. It's not like you're gonna take a gummy and then forever you're
Okay, let me let me address that let me we address that issue. I know exactly what you're saying and I think it's a fair point. Um I really don't uh you know, I I I try not to drink a lot these days. Um and but yeah, I've been in an altered state and boy am I funny. Very I'm really really funny when I've had a few. But
But
I mean God, it's like whole next level. And if you think this is good, well you know. We should do a thing where Ocona has a couple of glasses of wine and then people were but you know what it's gonna be like uh you know, Oppenheimer's Oppenheimer's seeing the big light. People can't handle it.
They're gonna have to put on No seriously, we're gonna have to tell people who listen to the pod, Conan's gonna have a couple glasses of wine, everyone needs to get into uh uh some kind of a shelter. You can watch through a little slit.
You have to have glasses made of lead? Because it's gonna be that kind of thing. It's fun And then Sirius is gonna call and go, Uh uh you know, our whole system is down because of the energy you emitted with your comedic ray. I'm like, Oh fuck, what are we gonna do now? So anyhoot um be that as it may, uh yeah, that is a true thing. I think I grew up in that era where I mean I grew up in a dry house.
My parents didn't drink. There was no liquor in the house. There was nothing. So I took a brave step by having some red wine. You know, I didn't uh so That was my big excursion into the wilderness. Then, uh, but then you add gummies, marijuana, and it's it's what's that? Yes.
¶ Global Weed, Old Jokes, and Liza
You add I'm glad you're here. No one adds to a story like you. Um I'm the ham and you just dropped one little clove into it. I I come from that era where if some I remembered my uncle, uh, Gavin calling them like jazz cigarettes. Oh jeez. My Uncle Gavin came to Saturday Night Live and he was he came to a taping of Saturday Night Live and afterwards he was amazed
He saw it live, he got to sit on the floor right in front of where they do the monologue and he saw G. E. Smith and the band play and he came out afterwards. And I remembered Bob Odenkirk and I were standing there and he went, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. That band, tell me that guitarist doesn't have a jazz cigarette jammed down his bootleg. Oh my god. That's the era I come from. Uh you're you're going to the Netherlands.
You're going to the pu like weed capital of the world. Yeah, but that doesn't hold any water anymore because I think LA is the wee capital of the world. I mean it's legal. Well they have cafes there. It's a big part of, you know, why a lot of tourists go there. So are you not gonna partake at all? You know who's coming on this trip? Who never comes on trips? Who? My wife. Liza's coming.
She you know what if I say, hey, let's hit a cafe and I'll have some wacky tobacque in my booba tea, she's gonna say, You will not! You know? Uh I don't know. she'd be into it. No, she's not a Bobby McFarrin, you know? She's not a what? She's not a don't worry, be happy person. She's a you better toe the line, see? And I'm like, yes dear, no dear, yes dear, no dear.
So, um and trust me, that is the most spot on impression of my wife. Absolutely not. You think you're going to relax and have fun? Not on my watch. How dare you Yeah, I so insane. I know, I won't take this Liza blast. She is the mother of my children, uh she is an angel and I just totally portrayed her. Maybe there's a grain of truth, who knows? I don't think she's gonna be the one saying, Hey, you better go get fucked up. That's not Liza either.
So look, if it was me going on this trip, Sans my wife, um uh and Jeff Ross is there going, hey, let's go, let's get fucked up.
Jeff's gonna have the best time on the strip.
Well Blaise too. Blaise, you're gonna enjoy it.
We're gonna have some fun.
Well, okay. Well you get fucked up in most places we go. Um snappity. Yeah, he'll even places where he shouldn't be. Um he managed to have a good time. That's not the point. The point is, I love to say that's not the point. The point is, even when no one's disagreeing with me, I love it. It's one of my favorite things. But that's not the point. The point is. Wait, Conan, you're the only one talking. Who are you talking back to? This is why you need a dummy.
This is what it's like inside your mind.
Yeah, this stops. This you just sit. You'll just sit. It's okay. Look, on your own time, don't feel like you have to, but you should. Oh no. I did this on Kimmel. People loved it. Where I froze my face. Yeah. It's good for an audio media.
Yeah, everyone listening.
Oh my god.
Yeah, he's um
So I'll get to it. I'll get to the gummy. But you know, that whole thing of hey, Amsterdam, I don't think that holds water anymore. Because literally the street lights here in Los Angeles are made of marijuana. That's true. I mean I partake from time to time. What? You if you miss a day come on, be honest. No, there are some days where I can't. Okay, well that's very different from I partake from symptom. Hey.
Occasionally, there's a moment when I can't. It's very different from I partake from time to time. From time to time I partake, but if I ever went to Amsterdam, I would definitely enjoy doing it. You take gummies. The way uh a person with terrible diabetes takes insulin. Oh my gosh. What are you talking about? You inject yourself with gummy. Liquid gummy.
And I'm not I'm not a total I don't wake and bake. I'm not a total pothead. I have children I have to take care of. That's true. But at the end of the day, after a long day, yeah. Sure. I can't get it. You gum is it called gum it up? What's the cool way to say take a gummy? I don't know, but I don't think it's gum it up. I don't know what it is. What do you ride the gum train? What do you do?
¶ The Peril of a Relaxed Conan
Yeah, I ride the gum train. This is you know what, this it'll help you with all of this. And I think Do we wanna help me? That's the other thing. What if I'm gonna propose something? What if I take the chill and I really like it? And I take a little more and I really like it. And suddenly I come in here, I don't have any of my psychic wounds.
I don't have any of my n old neural grooves. I don't have my weird spasms and my flights of fancy based on neurotic madness. And then suddenly all of this ends. Oh. All of this ends. I'm in a I'm I'm a come in and I'm like, hi Sona, how are you? What but it Are you okay? Oh, are you talking to me with respect? Yeah. Oh my god. Oh I hate this. What are you talking about? This is nice. Oh good.
So you like are lowering your.
How are you doing?
Uh scared.
I this is the new Conan. I just had some chill and um
Blaze raising his hand.
I was gonna talk about well I guess just The news today, I guess. Okay, so let's discuss that and uh Yes, what's up?
That's never gonna happen.
Wait, how are you?
No.
And you know what? I welcome you on Mike. I'm gonna tell you
That's definitely not gonna happen. I uh my favorite quote, I've said this before on the podcast, my favorite quote of yours you ever said was we were on a flight going on an international trip. It's in the middle of the night, and I was up reading, and you come back.
to my uh seat and you're like, Hey, how's it going? I'm like, Hey man, what's up? And you're like, uh good. I'm like, uh you should get some sleep. We have to shoot as soon as we get off the plane. You're like, I took an ambient and w and it was like throwing a tic tac into the sun.
Yeah. And so let me tell you I burn through meds. When meds meet my system, they just go Yes. You know? Except Profile. Which is why I get a which is why I get a colonoscopy every week. I tell them don't even put a camera back there. I said, don't just sketch from memory, you don't need a camera. But
You know. I'm always in there. And sometimes I get a colonoscopy and then I sit out there and then I come back in and I put a mustache on and say, Uh Mr. Jones And then I put a mustache on my bare ass so it looks like someone else's ass. And they go like I go like that's and this is my ass, Mr. Jones' ass. And then I have my ass go, uh hello, I've never had a colonoscopy.
And they're like, Why is your ass talking to us in a lower tone? And I say, just uh let's have the propo fall and get going. I have the most photographed colon of all time. Seriously. They're thinking of running them all together and having its own channel. A streaming a streaming channel. Nine hundred hours of all Conan. I love the prope. Um loves the probe. I loves the probe. But uh yeah, so there will be another episode where I update you because I am going to do it. Oh mark my words.
I promise you, I shall. Take the chill gummy and I'll take a whole uh sleep gummy and we'll see what happens. Okay. You know what I mean? No pressure. All right. Well listen. I look forward to this. And it will be the end of the podcast as we know it. Because a relaxed Conan, not a fun Conan. That's all I'm gonna say. Who's the little bitch now, Eduardo?
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