Hebrew School Etc.
Chase sheds a blinding light on her Hebrew school days plus more.
Apr 27, 2021•33 min•Season 1Ep. 34
Composed
Comedian Chase Bernstein tackles the minutiae of everyday life in a stream of consciousness filled with humor, observation and a splash of rage. While we love to think life is defined by the big events, ultimately it's the trips to CVS, Trader Joe's, and the special yet forgotten interactions in between that comprise our days. Chase is here to celebrate the subtleties through a genuine and hilarious lens. As one listener put it, "What's the show about? Nothing. Everything. Wow." While another said, "This podcast is ridiculous and I cannot stop listening!" So what do you have to lose? Nothing. Everything.
Last refreshed: ⓘ
Follow this podcast in the Metacast mobile app to refresh it and see new episodes.
Podcasts are better in Metacast mobile app
Don't just listen to podcasts. Learn from them with transcripts, summaries, and chapters for every episode. Skim, search, and bookmark insights. Learn more
Episodes
Dear People Who Look Good In Hats
Episode 33 begins with Chase daring to explore her random baseball hat collection while a listener question regarding a neighbor's freshly purchased wind chimes fuels the second half of this critically acclaimed ep.
Apr 20, 2021•47 min•Season 1Ep. 33
Summer School Etc.
Episode 32 Anyone?
Apr 12, 2021•55 min•Season 1Ep. 32
Dear Websites That Play Music When You Go To Them
Been wanting to shed light on this for a minute.
Mar 30, 2021•42 min•Season 1Ep. 31
Dear People Who Tell You Not To Be Scared Of Bees
Per my lawyer, I am legally obligated to inform you that listening to this episode may result in never looking at the parking lot of Whole Foods on Fairfax and 3rd the same. How you proceed from here is completely up to you.
Mar 23, 2021•31 min•Season 1Ep. 30
Lemon Update W/ Donny Divanian
A dry shampoo purchase, a lemon update featuring Donny Divanian, it's like... what else do you want?
Mar 16, 2021•43 min•Season 1Ep. 29
Dear People Who Write In All Caps
Episode 28 truly knows no bounds. A Nextdoor app lemon situation is afoot, while an unprecedented Instagram poll begs the question: Do you write in all caps and if so what is your occupation?" The answers will shock you to your very core.
Mar 09, 2021•38 min•Season 1Ep. 28
Goof City Reunion w/ Rob Gleeson and Tom Sibley
You ease your grip on the wheel of your '98 Ford Explorer as your eyes drink in the endless miles of highway stretched out before you. Undaunted, you coast on; hours and towns slipping away like sand in the wind. You pull off on a tiny dirty road, your thirst begging to be quenched. A quaint, mom and pop convenience shop stands before you and you graze the barrels of fresh jerky before ultimately settling on an ice cold root beer. You pop the top off of a Barq's, and take a meaningful swig befor...
Mar 02, 2021•1 hr 20 min•Season 1Ep. 27
Dear People Who Don't Crack Their Knuckles
The sky is draped in orange and purple, and the warm, desert wind wraps around you like the promise of a thousand tomorrows. The air is electrifying in its stillness, tinged with charcoal and the sense of forgotten dreams, and for just a moment you start to see it all for what it really is. You take a pull of something strong because maybe you don't want to see it that clearly, but as you tilt your head back something catches your eye. A slip of paper flaps wildly, fighting against the strength ...
Feb 23, 2021•43 min•Season 1Ep. 26
Dear Electricity
“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” - Benjamin Franklin. Ever heard of him? Episode 25 is here in the form of an ode to electricity inspired by the true events of a neighborhood power outage moments before a highly anticipated Twitch show. I suppose you could make this stuff up but why would you want to?
Feb 09, 2021•37 min•Season 1Ep. 25
Dear People Doing Too Much On Venmo
Venmo gets absolutely torched while the dalmatian community gets a formal apology... welcome to February.
Feb 02, 2021•41 min•Season 1Ep. 24
Melissa Anne Villaseñor
It's a brisk January morning and you've just docked your boat in the wharf. The fresh, salty, air fills yours lungs as you drink in the horizon. "Never gets old," you murmur to yourself, "never gets old." The smell of good coffee lingers in the distance... the promise of bacon and toast not far off. You glance down at the water and see something stuck behind a local rock. "What in the?" You ask yourself. You gingerly bend down to pick it up, and it's only until you get closer that it dawns on yo...
Jan 26, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Season 1Ep. 23
Dear Baskin Robbins
You check in for your 7 pm reservation at your local eatery quite famished as you purposely had a light lunch in order to ensure a hearty appetite for the meal that is about to ensue. At 7:10 the hostess informs you that they're running a bit behind, your stomach growls in response. At 7:26 you are seated. Not one moment later your waiter appears with what looks like a delicate yet potent avocado salad, "Compliments of the chef," he explains. You dig in, it's glorious and all of your worries dis...
Jan 19, 2021•28 min•Season 1Ep. 22
Dear Expiration Dates That Are Too Hard To See
Episode 21 has arrived and should ideally be listened to while driving down the 101 going 72 (mph).
Dec 29, 2020•39 min•Season 1Ep. 21
Vibes of Months w/ Brandon Wardell
January, February, March... these are just three examples of months. Each month is different and yet they all have one thing in common: vibes. Episode 20 delves into the various vibes each month brings (or doesn't bring) to the table, and who better to accompany us on our exploration than local vibe curator, Brandon Wardell. Please join us as we delve into what Adam Duritz, lead singer of the Counting Crows might deem, August and Everything After. Doesn't really translate but at the same time yo...
Dec 22, 2020•1 hr 30 min•Season 1Ep. 20
Dear People Who Answer The Phone To Say They Can't Talk
Voicemail etiquette opens the episode while a tale involving Jason Biggs and a slippery pen closes it out. Go ahead and call the lord, tell him to take a day off, because I'm doing his work.
Dec 15, 2020•41 min•Season 1Ep. 19
Christmas Cactus
Chase takes to the field via an Instagram poll, asking people to share a recent online purchase they made and how they felt about said purchase. Where is James Harden? Where is the package containing a Lululemon backpack someone got stolen off their porch? These are life's bigger questions that honestly, we might never know the answers to, but we can try... we can try.
Dec 08, 2020•44 min•Season 1Ep. 18
Dear People Who Are Nowhere To Be Found When It's Their Turn In Bowling
An absolutely heated episode Chase recorded high off of an entire pumpkin pie.
Dec 01, 2020•41 min•Season 1Ep. 17
Thanksgiving Special w/ Joe Marrese
The turkey has been cooked to perfection, the mashed potatoes- whipped to hell. You and your loved ones are seated at the Thanksgiving table and are just about to dig in when a "Ding!" goes off in the distance. "What is that?" You frantically ask one another. "Did you not take the stuffing out?" Your aunt accuses you, "I took the stuffing out!" You insist. So what else could be fresh out the oven?? Then it hits you... episode 16 aka the first annual Thanksgiving special starring legendary comedi...
Nov 24, 2020•50 min•Season 1Ep. 16
Dear People Who Claim They Can't Sleep In
Recorded in a muscle tank and white sweatpants, episode 15 came to play. Chicken Pot Pie is examined, and early risers are assessed. The episode concludes in, really the only way it can: Chase recounting the emotional turmoil caused by an Ikea return; a tale she's considering optioning as a feature length film for Paramount. "A rollercoaster ride I didn't want to get off of. " - Luke Sandals, The New Orleans Tribune.
Nov 17, 2020•38 min•Season 1Ep. 15
Dear People Who Always Ask You For A Piece Of Gum
Gum, anyone? Chase finds the time to provide a dissertation on the subject of gum: Brands, flavors as well as etiquette are covered more extensively than anyone would like. Another monumental trip to the beach is unpacked. In the words of Chris Martin, Coldplay frontman and ex-husband of Gwyneth Paltrow, "Nobody said it was easy... no one ever said it would be this hard."
Nov 10, 2020•50 min•Season 1Ep. 14
Cheese w/ Billy Scafuri
Chase is joined by comedian, writer, and Douglas Fir connoisseur, Billy Scafuri on this gorgeous yet stressful first week of November. Cheese is discussed at length as well as their shared podiatrist, Dr. Keith Gurnick.
Nov 03, 2020•1 hr 8 min•Season 1Ep. 13
Dear People Who Have More Items Than They’re Supposed To In An Express Lane At A Grocery Store
Episode 12 traipses onto the scene as chaotically as a Walgreens opening across the street from a Rite Aid. A particularly windy day sends Chase catapulting down memory lane to her first, late in the game, bee sting, as well as her unprecedented fear of keys and locks (not a metaphor). Later in the episode, she finds herself in the throes of a trying tale about her recent experience with a 40% off one item coupon at CVS. "Episode 12 took me to places in my soul I had long since forgotten." - Lin...
Oct 27, 2020•39 min•Season 1Ep. 12
Aunty Ann
Chase has a conversation with the artist formerly known as Aunty Anne as well as engages in a harrowing tale about a waitlisted Zara item, the concept of wool, as well as a rare glimpse into her time abroad in Israel. "Absolutely not to be missed" - The Delaware Times
Oct 20, 2020•1 hr 2 min•Season 1Ep. 11
Dear People With Normal Names Who Spell Them Weird
Chase pulls out all the stops for the colossal milestone that is episode 10. Including but definitely not limited to: The reveal of Berkeley Goldschmidt's middle name, an Urban Outfitters transaction gone wrong, as well as an update on the Quiznos mug debacle. This episode is rated W for "Wild."
Oct 13, 2020•36 min•Season 1Ep. 10
Dear People Who Come Prepared For A Beach Day
Chase escorts herself on a life changing trip to the beach, thus inspiring iconic topics such as baby seagulls and cantaloupe.
Oct 06, 2020•42 min•Season 1Ep. 9
Dear People Who Take Charge In An Elevator
An unprecedented expos into elevators, escalators and stairs. Has anyone ever dared have the stamina to explore all three of these topics at once? I would bet my life they have not.
Sep 29, 2020•32 min•Season 1Ep. 8
Berkeley L. Goldschmidt
Chase's Christmas Tree Lot co-star, Berkeley L. Goldschmidt checks in from literally, Indiana, where he is in his first year of college, more specifically in the Kelley School of Business. A college campus in a pandemic? Covered it. Berkeley's unprecedented loyalty to United Airlines? Covered it. All that, plus more.
Sep 22, 2020•1 hr 4 min•Season 1Ep. 7
Dear Strangers Who Ask How's It Going Whilst Walking By W/ Donny Divanian
Chase is joined by a left handed guest, her boyfriend and gorgeous social butterfly, Donny Divanian. Social etiquette is covered, the Census is touched upon. Caiman make an appearance.
Sep 15, 2020•57 min•Season 1Ep. 6
Living In The Wind
Temps reach triple digits, sending Chase spiraling into an unprecedented story about the time she nearly fainted in St. Petersburg on Warped Tour. A VistaPrint mug update as well as a ropes course analogy ensues.
Sep 08, 2020•31 min•Season 1Ep. 5
Hosted on Buzzsprout
For the best experience, listen in Metacast app for iOS or Android