#106 Finding a Family - Brandy Seago

This show is part of the Proclaim Podcast Network, thoughtfully crafted, faithfully told, stories that proclaim His name. I'm Paul Hastings, and you're listening to Compelled, where we use gripping, immersive storytelling to bring to life Christian testimonies. God, told by the people compelled to live for his life. Recently we heard from Brandon Hendrix, when Brandon was just a punk. Kid from the Pacific Northwest, he had an encounter with God that opened up his eyes to his need for a savior.

But then 18 years later, he would be confronted. You can hear that entire story by Episode number 105 with Brandon Hendrix. Our guest is Brandy Seago. Brandy grew up in a family. flawed but still hers. But as her broken family was slowly whittled away, Brandy realized that a picture perfect family might not exist, yet a perfect father So gather around, lean in, and join us for this compelling story from the Kingdom of God.

Brandy grew up in Gainesville, Georgia, about an hour northeast of Atlanta, and her parents split up shortly after she was born. Brandy had two older brothers, but for reasons that Brandy never fully understood, her mom decided not to take care of them. So when Brandy was just an eight month old infant, she and her two brothers moved in with Brandy's dad and her grandma, who they called grannies.

And together, the five of them lived in a single-wide mobile home in a trailer park that was part of a low-income neighborhood. joy and happiness and playfulness as a kid. I would go outside and run around and riding my bike along the streets and just countless times of having sleepovers with my neighbor. My my she was my best friend growing up and being in her room and playing, I think it was Nintendo 64 at that point in life. So I remember a lot of joy. I also remember a lot of sadness and

I remember thinking that all of my friends at school lived a normal life. You know, a family that was a mom and a dad with siblings and the white picket fence kind of And I remember that. how disappointing it was that I didn't have that. I had love in my home. My grandmother loved us deeply, but I just remember feeling like something was missing, even in my mind as a child, somewhat being jealous of that.

And feeling like I was lacking because that's not what I had. My initial thoughts about God, learning about Him, my grandmother sent us to church every Sunday. I say sent because the white van from Our church would come rolling through the streets and pick up me and my brothers.

So I grew up going to Iwana on Wednesday nights and memorizing scripture and in a sense knowing about Jesus, knowing about who he was and what I was told that he did and my grandmother loved old hymns like a lot and I remember she would get these cassette tapes Of these just really old school gospel singers. And uh we would listen to them. She would pop one in anytime we would drive and just sing so loudly to them and be so just joyful.

joyful in her singing and you could really tell what she was singing, she really believed. I think just like her reliance on the Lord, also in caring for us with our physical needs. There were many times where she would kind of be honest and say, I don't know w how we're gonna buy food next week or I don't know how this is gonna come to pass or how we're gonna make this happen, but like the Lord's gonna provide for us and it's okay.

And so she was a a perfect picture of that, reminding us that the Lord cares for us and he will take care of us. And he always did.

My dad worked in construction to take care of us and then any extra after that would be spent in drinking and partying and doing drugs. I knew that he was drinking and I didn't know really about the drugs, but I knew that something was wrong because he and my granny would just fight constantly. I got used to the idea of bringing peace to the home. And I felt that responsibility on my shoulders.

And so I remember going to my grandmother's room after a big fight. You know, she would go run to her room and slam the door and be there. My dad would go and sit on the couch. in the living room and I I would go to my grandmother's room And I would sit in there with her for like ten minutes and just kind of snuggle in while she was watching T V and smoking her cigarette.

And I would just say, Are you okay? Is everything okay? Are we good? And I'm I'm always reading the room, reading the temperature, how how's everything going? She would say, Yeah, I'm fine, everything's okay. And I would say okay and then I would get up out of the bed and I would go walk into the living room and I would sit by my dad and I would just

there with him and he would you know be watching TV or whatever and I would do the same thing. Are you okay? Is everything okay? Like is there anything you need? Like I just remember feeling like somehow I did this. Have I done something that caused this? This being maybe this fight, but also I think at the heart of it was.

this world that we live in now where my mom decided we weren't good enough to keep in her home or this world where my dad it's not enough on a Friday night for my dad to stay home and be with us at home with the family. But for me I just remember being really worried all the time.

We saw my mom. Technically she had rights to see us every other weekend and so my grandmother would always take us to meet her and she would take us But my mom would be drinking or fighting or we would be at a campground somewhere where she was partying, you know, with friends, drinking around the campfire and just the yelling and the arguing was a lot, but then at times it would be more physical. Um and so that was terrifying. And

I can't remember full weekends with her, honestly. I can't remember a weekend that we didn't call home to Granny to ask her to come pick us up. And that I remember always was really upsetting to my mom. But even then I think she was choosing to live her life a certain way.

And so the notion of who God was was just really confusing to me because I just was bumping up against this notion that, okay, if there even really is a God, I can't see him. So I why would I trust him? Because I had a hard time believing in people that I could see. What kind of God would break my family apart? Because I'm being told one thing of who he is in scripture, a God of grace and a God of goodness.

And I'm told to not only believe in him, but to follow him. And that was just a really hard thing for me to do. Throughout her entire childhood, Brandy's relationship with her mom was strained. She wanted and needed a mom, and could never understand why her mom had left them, but neither could she ever work up the courage to ask. But on the flip side, her relationship with her dad was much stronger. And although he had his flaws, Brandy still loved him and cared for him.

He drank Pepsi like crazy, like constantly. Had a Pepsi, a can of Pepsi in his hand, and I remember would also eat salad. And at the time the only thing I would even look twice at in a salad was cucumbers. And so anytime he would make a salad, I would like pay attention and then I would go in and sit on his lap at the table.

And I would just kinda slide in and I would always steal sips of his Pepsi because it was, you know, full of sugar and super addicting. And it was like a no for us, for the kids to to drink soda. And so I just remember he would slip me these sips of Pepsi and then he would pick all of his cucumbers out of his salad for me and he would like feed me the cucumbers.

Again, a really simple thing, but these are these memories that I cling to so tightly because there is a temptation to only look at the back. just little things like that that I can look back on and see the love and care that he had for us. When I was eight, I was asleep on our couch in the living room and our pastor from the church that we grew up in, he stopped by to let us know. My dad passed away because of a drug overdose. I remember it being Very jolting to me.

like the ground piece by piece. of falling out from underneath. And I don't remember the funeral. There was so much around that time that I think I just blocked it out. But in my mind, that was just Another example of being left behind. Pertaining to my favorite. I think I just To harden my heart in ways towards the gospel and towards truth because in the church I grew up in. was very like moralistic, doing the right thing, saying the right And I'm paying attention.

and doing all the things I think a good Like if God is real And he is there. I still kinda want to be perceived as not a problem to him. So in the same way that I relate to my grandmother and my dad when they're fighting, it's like okay God I don't know about you fully yet. I don't know that I trust you, but if what I'm hearing at church is right.

Then I need to like memorize the scripture. I need to keep coming to church. I need to sing the songs when we sing them. I need to like pray. Basically like I want to I want it to look like my life is put together enough. For you God. Which is funny because even then I see a lot of relation between how I felt towards my parents, towards guardians in my life, and then also it mirrors very much how I Just solve God. Wanting to prove myself, wanting to

for him because if this is true and this story is true, I want to go to heaven when I die. I want to prove myself to him that I'm worth loving. But I would go back and forth. It just was easier in a lot of ways to not believe. There were definitely times. laying in my bed at night. It was just like he can't be real. This can't be true. This the story of Jesus, the story of him loving me despite what I've done, despite who I am.

Because that's just not what I saw in my real life. That I didn't I mean it f in my mind I I was just an inconvenience to everybody. It's too hard to keep you. It would cost too much money. It it's too It's too much to parent you. So yeah, I think there's a lot of turmoil back in the day. Because then the next day it's like putting on kind of a face I need to be good though, enough. So I'm going back and forth in between these two worlds. Walking through the doors of the church.

just stating my scripture perfectly, singing my songs of Iwana just so well, um, getting all the little pins on my vest and feeling this chaos in me of This is what I'm supposed to be doing. It's like he was one thing to me at church when I'm being told truth, when I'm around these other believers who are telling me things about who God is and and then I go home to to to brokenness where

I'm just like, okay, but who is he here? Who is God within these four walls here? And I just didn't really have a clear answer.

Brandy was only eight when her dad died, and shortly after, her oldest brother moved in with their mom. Brandy and her other brother, who was only two years older than her, remained with Granny. It felt like her tiny family was slowly being picked apart, and the future felt uncertain. More than that, right after this. This Easter sight and sound films presents a great awakening.

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So quick story. When I was in high school, I started taking dual credit classes at my local community college. And I thought I was going to die. Waking up early in the morning, driving up to an hour to get Single class being surrounded by other students who wanted to be there less than even I did, it was just a grind. Because what I really wanted to do was become an entrepreneur.

Launch businesses, create products, not be stuck in a classroom all day long, learning topics I felt were irrelevant to an entrepreneurial career. And I just felt that the brick and mortar college option wasn't right for me. So after high school, I enrolled in a program called Unbound, which was a much better fit for my life. Unbound Paris Skills.

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held during your discovery call. Set one up to date at unbound. Welcome back to Compelled. Brandi Seago grew up in a trailer park near Atlanta with her dad, grandma, and two brothers. After her dad suddenly passed away from a drug overdose and her oldest brother moved away, Brandy and her other brother were the only ones left living with their grandma, who they called Granny. and things did not bode well.

My granny's health declined pretty quickly once my dad passed away. She had a lot of lung issues. She smoked for a good portion of her life. And I remember she was put on oxygen. One point her long head collapsed. My brother And I had gone to church and we came home one night and walked through the door and we looked down the hall and we could just see blood, a strip of blood down the hall, and we opened the door and turned the corner and she's on the ground in the corner.

had somehow fallen and she broke her hip. She was really frail at this point. We had to call nine one one and have an ambulance come out and take her to the hospital and just From that moment on realized that she was incapable physically of caring for us on her own. So after we found my grandmother had fallen, we kind of realized and the adults in our life realized that we we really needed help and she needed help, especially with us. So we moved in with her sister.

She lived a town over from where we had grown up our whole lives basically and I was a freshman in high school. It was maybe the end of my eighth grade year and we changed schools. Which is very uprooting, especially after having been with the same friends for years and years and years. and we were barely able to go to our church that we had been raised at. We moved out of the home that I grew up in. So everything just was very upended. It was

a very confusing time. Nothing felt secure. Nothing felt sure. And at the same time our grandmother was sick. And so we needed to I think process some of that as well. And there were a lot of new rules in that home and a lot of just ways of life that we were not used to living. And so a lot of tension there. And we were there for about a year and a half and my granny's health just continued to get worse and worse and she was on oxygen twenty four

it was very hard for her to quit smoking. So she would go in the bathroom and lock the door and she would take her oxygen off and like roll it over to the other side of the bathroom. And she would turn her oxygen off. Okay, and then she would smoke in the bathroom. Eventually she did get to a point where she was sick enough that she did quit smoking.

One day my brother walked in and and found her in the bed. She was not breathing and her face was blue. So he called out for help. We had to call an ambulance to come to the house and She coded twice in the ambulance on the way to the hospital and so they got her to the hospital and were able to put her on a ventilator and I remember being really scared and I remember the one thing I I think that was left for me, my grandmother. She was like the one

kind of strong ish foundation in my life that I knew. I mean, basically my mom, you know, she raised me. She from eight months old, you know, that's young, uh, to age thirteen, She was mom to me and I remember walking in one night, it was a Sunday night, we had sat down at the table with my great aunt, her sister. and my great uncle and They had just said, you know, your grandmother's really sick and so we wanna take you to see her. So that night we went to the hospital and

I remember going into her room and she was in the bed and and she couldn't speak. She was writing everything down. And so you know, walk in the room and we're just kind of talking and it's very scary, obviously as a child, too being in a hospital room with all of of this machinery and think in my mind though I'm like, okay, well, when are you coming home? And she didn't answer. And uh I think I realized in a way what was going on.

And so we're writing on this little yellow legal pad and I wrote back to her and just said, are you leaving us? That was my question for her. Like out of all the things I'm, you know, worried about, it's is this happening again? Like are we about to do this thing again? And all she wrote back on that pad was, It is well with my soul is what she wrote to us. And I think back on that a lot.

Which tells me that even in those moments when she put us on the little white van to go to church, she did it for a reason. And I do believe that it's because she wanted us to know Jesus the way she And so she did end up passing the next day. We woke up to my great aunt telling us that we had lost that we lost her. I remember my brother was very upset and ran out of the room crying and I just sat there at the table. kind of in disbelief that here we were again.

That was probably the hardest thing I think I've gone through.

Throughout all of this turmoil, Randy's actual mom was still checked out of the picture. And of course, her dad had been dead for five years. Brandy and her brother were now living with Granny's sister and husband, but things were not going well. There was a lot of tension and conflict about rules and standards and And of course Brandy and her brother were emotionally hurting, but didn't know how to express it.

So a few weeks after Granny's funeral, their great aunt and uncle sat them down with some news. A family from Brandy's old church had offered to let Brandy and her brother move in with them. It would be a fresh start to life. And Brandy would finally get what she had always wanted, a family.

It was a mom and a dad and they had three kids and had this home at the bottom of this big hill and they had a big backyard. I remember it just being really big news, you know, this family's taking in Brandy and her brother and This is it. You know, this is what I've been waiting for. You know, especially after losing granny, there was still this deep desire to want like Normal. Because normal is super peaceful, right? Normal doesn't have issues. Normal, there is no abandonment in normal.

And so I had this idea in my head of what normal really was. And to me, it was this. It was this family. And I I put so much hope in in this move. And also I think there was this idea if it's someone from our church. This has to last, right? This has to be the one, the thing, the place we can kind of finally land safely. And I think at the heart of that was also belonging somewhere, having a place where brandy belongs and is accepted and has some flaws and has some stuff, but

this is home home base for her. And

Surprise, surprise. We were there for about nine months. And it was during those nine months, there was so much good. And I think I got my very first picture of how family operates and what it does look like to be a part of a family. And I remember how difficult it was to transition into calling someone mom or calling someone dad. And

they became our guardians. And I don't know if at the beginning they knew it was for an a certain amount of time or if we were just kind of a a rest stop along the way to something else. In my mind though, this was it. This was permanent. This was mom, this was dad. And I remember feeling like I was a square peg trying to fit into a round hole in a sense of

This just isn't working. Like the struggle was there on all kinds of levels. And I think that was on both sides of it too. And we continued to go to church. I spent some time at that point, my brother and I both seeing a counselor and I I remember some of those sessions pretty vividly and I remember thinking this is so dumb like I don't know why I'm doing this and I remember being asked how we felt about certain things and even then I didn't know how to articulate how I felt.

I remember being so frustrated with that counselor because he kept saying, Well, how truly, how does that make you feel? And I just am like, This is

I've seen this before in a movie scene. This doesn't work, you know. And he was he was a Christian counselor too, and bless that man. His name was Greg and I think he again did the best he could with with what he knew and what he had at the time and I think at that point, can even a Christian counselor not help us and When I think of how God pursues this, I think about being fifteen and I think about all the things I had walked through and God's consistency.

and just not stopping, but continually in all the doubts and fears and insecurities that I had. He never gave up on me. That was evident even in these nine months that we spent with this family. So in all of that, I'm still surrounded by truth, by scripture. I remember thinking like maybe there is some truth to what I'm hearing and what I have heard my whole life at this church.

Maybe there's something here that's real. And I think in a sense too, getting to be a part of that family for a short time and kind of realizing that even in this quote unquote normal family, there are problems and there are issues and Moments of peace for sure, but also still just moments of not feeling like I was at home yet. So in in all of that, I think maybe what happened is just kind of getting to the end of my rope in a lot of ways, the end of myself of

What am I looking for? What's the end goal here? At what point do I arrive and say, like, this is the thing? This is what's going to bring me peace and this is what's gonna bring me joy? you know, there was not really one moment that year. You know, I think I got baptized like three times, just to really like make sure. She's saved, I promise. Again, uh that obviously points a lot to just like security and making sure am I doing it the right way? Is this how I'm supposed to be?

And really just kind of in a way neglecting the whole purpose of it, of there is nothing that I can do or be to be accepted by God. But the good news is that I'm already accepted by God and goodness gracious, I still fight that today as a person living who who's been a believer now for many years and has seen God work in numerous ways. There is still this

something inside me at times where it's like you need to perform. You need to go from room to room in your house and check on everybody and make sure that you're good. You need to, you know, make sure that you are bringing peace that you are the right kind of person. And that to me was Christianity. Despite hearing the truth of what Jesus had done for me.

I still needed to do something for him. And so it was during that year, I think, like age fifteen, And I contribute the time where I finally, I think, surrendered to God. To just that nine month period at their home. I kind of think about that nine months as being just a pivotal turning point for me where

And I don't even know that there was just a big, huge radical change even in how I viewed the world. I don't know that that really changed, but I do remember and I say specifically the word surrender because I think that's really what it was.

Nine difficult months had passed, and while Brandy had surrendered her life to Christ, things didn't seem to be working out. Brandy had always thought that if she could just get into a normal family with a mom and a dad, that things would be perfect. But they weren't. And once again, Brandy and her brother were sat down to receive some news.

They couldn't stay there any longer because another family from the church had been watching all along and felt that God wanted Brandy and her brother to move in with them. my small group leader. Her name is Kim and I had spent a lot of time talking with her, confiding in her, and just having conversations about some things I was feeling, nothing crazy, nothing too deep.

not usually things that were spiritual, but she was very faithful in sharing truth with me at any moment that she got, sharing scripture. She taught my class and the Lord had appointed her and her husband, Mike, in these positions of influence for me and my brother. So we we knew them, had been to their home, and I remember feeling

two ways, apprehensive and also really excited. Apprehensive because it's like, here we go again. You know, here we're back here. It's like back at the beginning where We're complicated. It's hard to parent us. It's hard. The day that we moved in. We had packed up all our things and my brother and I had walked through the door and sat down on the couch and Mike slams the door behind us.

just very loudly, throws his hands up in the air and is kind of like walking into the living room behind the couch and I I will never forget him looking at me and my brother and saying, This is it. You're not going anywhere else. This is your home now. You're done moving. You're not going anywhere else. literally I can see him with his hands kind of raised, you know, in the air. He's just like, this is it, we're done, you know, and it scared me at first.

Because when you slam a door in my history it's'cause you're angry, you know, and mad about something. But him it was just kind of this movement of I'm closing the door on all the other possibilities in life. I will say too, Mike is like very black and white. Very this is the truth. This is how it's going. You can like it, you can love it, you can hate it.

But this is the reality. And that drives me crazy sometimes because I'm like, can you soften the blow just a little bit? But you know, in this moment it was such a gift to me and to my brother. All these years, from even the moment that my grandmother died. to you know, uh we had just moved in with her sister and then we're living with her sister for a little while and it's hard.

There was just a lot of jumping around, moving around. And and even back to the years, you know, whenever we did live with granny. We were still go visit my mom and so there is just this weird kind of rhythm in life that you don't really belong anywhere. Like you're kind of just

You're here because like you need to be. You're here because nobody else would keep you. Nobody else would house you. So there's just kind of this feeling of that for a long time. And I think in a lot of ways, just seeped into my bones of who I was and And I think in some ways

Anybody can say anything, right? Anybody could say like, you're here and we're your family. And I had heard that before. I had heard like we're your family now. That had been said to me. But I think at this moment, I just kind of took a deep breath a little bit. And I like believed him. And that I think was a grace from the Lord because I had not believed anybody with that at this point. I had not really trusted that we really belonged somewhere.

But I think in that moment I think my heart kind of began to thaw a little bit and just very cautiously began to believe that maybe maybe this is it.

At the time they had two kids and then within a month's time they had four kids after bringing me and my brother into their home and then the next month she found out that she was pregnant. So they went from two kids to five kids within the spans of a year. And they have two teenagers now in their house and had never had teenagers in their house before in

We have put them through some stuff, you know, it was not all beautiful rainbows and butterflies by any stretch. We gave them uh a lot, I'm sure, some grey hair, but they kept choosing us and kept saying yes to us. Whenever I first started driving Mike, who is my dad, was like teaching me how to drive. I had my my license, I didn't have my permit anymore, so I was ready to go. I was like driving on my own. But the rules, at least at the time in Georgia, were

You could not have anyone in your car that wasn't a sibling. And so you can't just drive your friends around for like the first maybe six months or something like that. But like I had a lot of friends and like I needed to haul them all over the place. And I drove a two-door Mitsubishi Eclipse. And I r remember one night I came back to the house, came home from something I was doing, probably a football game or something, and I had brought like three Thank you. And I'm thinking like

Sneak in, it's gonna be really quiet. And and we'll just say that they were dropped off. Like it's no big deal. I'll just lie and you know I'm still a 16-year-old girl, so I'm just I'm just trying to hang out with my friends. And so before I could even make up a lie the next morning to my dad about how my friends got to the house. He sat me down in the kitchen and was like, you drove people last night. And I was just like

What? No, what I would never do that. Like that's against the law, literally. And he was like, Okay, well the next time that you choose to drive people in your car, number one, it needs to be when it's legal. And number two You need to remember to put both of the seeds back in the upright position after they get out of your back seat. And so that's how he knew. I was such an idiot that I just we just filed out of the car and I was like, we're gonna nail this.

I'm never gonna get caught and going in with all my friends. And I just remember that it's stories like that where there was never even a flicker ever from them. This isn't really working out. Never a moment from them that made me pause to say. I need to probably back off or I need to like chill out or else they're gonna kick me out. They're gonna realize what they've done, you know, and that this is actually really hard and complicated and

They never gave me any of that ever. And if anything, I look back now and the moments I would get in trouble for stuff. I'm like, what a grace, you know, that they loved me. to discipline me and to show me like this isn't the right way, you know, let's go this way, let's do this thing. And sometimes I would get so annoyed, especially with my new my new brother in the family. And we would fight like siblings all the time'cause he and I would spend so much time together and I just

remember at one point my mom came to his defense and I was like, why are you defending him? You know, in my mind. It was something I read some note in his yearbook that he like specifically said, Don't read this. And then I read it. And then I made fun of him for it. And he went to mom and was like

She did this thing I asked her not to do and so then my mom knocks on my door and she's like, He said that you read this thing. Did you do that? I mean, it was such a family moment and I look back on that now thinking Man, what a gift, you know, even like little in whatever ways, rebellious little Brandy in her chaos of everything.

was just like fighting with her brother, her adopted in a sense, brother. And I wasn't being kicked out for it. I was lovingly reprimanded and turned towards like a better way. At last, Brandy had found a forever home and a family that loved her and wouldn't leave her, even if she tried to leave them. More on that, right after the break. Springtime is here and with it the celebration of

Easter, when we rejoice in the hope of our risen King. And perhaps you're considering giving a brand new Bible to a loved one or a new friend. A new Bible is a gift that they'll use for years to come, and the Christian Standard Bible translation. Also abbreviated as the CSB, is a faithful, accurate translation of the Bible, not just a paraphrase. which is easy to understand with a regular everyday English. In fact, it's the same version that Sarah and I read with our entire family every evening.

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Every evening, after we finish eating dinner, but are still gathered around the table, I'll reach up for our Bible, hymnal, and a global Prayer guide that we keep stacked together. The prayer guide is produced by our friends at Voice of the Martyrs, and we'll open it up to pray for a different country around the world where Christians are persecuted.

On each page there's one country with a handful of details about the major religions in that nation, the status of Christianity there, if they have Bibles or not, and a description of how Christians are being persecuted, but also standing firm in their In their faith. And then we'll use that to inform our prayer that very night. We pray for our persecuted brothers and sisters that God would strengthen them and give them endurance.

and even relief from their persecutors. But we also pray for their enemies that God would use the example of the faithful suffering of our brothers and sisters to convict their antagonists and bring even them into the kingdom of heaven. And whenever we read about a brand new country, my kids always listen attentively during what they call missionary Monday. And because we've got little kids, we pray for one country for an entire week before we move on to the next one.

we've prayed for nations like Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Togo, and others. And thanks to a special partnership with Voice of the Martyrs, our compelled listeners can actually receive this prayer guide for free. They'll even cover the shipping. There's no cost, no credit card, or hidden fees. It's simply a gift to help. to help you intentionally intercede for our brothers and sisters around the world.

Just visit vompell to request your free prayer guide. Again, that's V O M, stands for Voice of the Martyrs. V O M.org slash compelled.

Welcome back to Compelled. As older teenagers, Brandi Seago and her brother had finally been brought into a family. Two years had passed, and Brandy had come to realize that she didn't have to earn the love of her family. Instead, much like Christ's love, they loved her regardless of what she did. But for a brief moment. Brandy seemed ready to throw all of that to the wayside.

There was a season of life for me where I wanted to go to a prom with our high school and then I wanted to spend the night With my friend. So my friend, he was a guy that our whole group of friends was spending the night at his house that night. His parents were there. Like all the girls were sleeping on the second floor and all the boys were sleeping in the basement, that kind of thing. Right. So in my mind I'm like, this is totally harmless. Like this is no big deal.

But my parents, Mike and Kim, were like, um no, you're not gonna spend the night with a bunch of boys at a house, no way. And I was so angry that I actually ended up going to my biological mom's house for a while. She was still drinking and partying and just kind of chaotic life. So my prom date picked me up at my my biological mom's house.

And I look back now and I'm like, I was such an idiot. Like I was so dumb. This is just a good picture though that I was still very much like an 18-year-old girl, despite having to grow up quickly in a lot of ways. But I guess maybe too it was a picture of like how comfortable I was at my parents too to just be so angry with them that I was like, you know what, I'm leaving and my parents were super gracious in that

they did not feel any right to hold me back from seeing my biological mom. They were like, go see her. Like they didn't want to keep me from her. But I was using it as a tool. I you know, I did end up spending the night with my friends at their house and prom was fine, but it wasn't like amazing or anything and so definitely wasn't worth the cost. And so I stayed with my my bio mom for some months and kind of saw a different world, their world of

partying and drinking and smoking and boys and all the things. Kind of like the typical rebellious teenage years in a way. I kind of shoved all of that into a couple of months.

And then I had a friend who came and picked me up one day and we went shopping and it was a ruse. She like wanted to talk to me and just laid out before me, she's like, You were wasting your time and you were following the pleasures of the world right now and Maybe just taking time to see what life is like living under the same roof as your mom, but like what I see and what I know of you and I know of

your faith and your belief in Jesus and who he is and how he's changed your life. This doesn't line up with any of those things. And I know that you know that. And I knew that. I was very aware of that. So this friend who's such a dear friend, she uh kind of called me to repentance in a way. the Lord woke me up and kind of like from a strange Several month dream of

wanting to follow my own path and do my own thing just'cause I was mad at my parents and so I packed my bags and I went home. I went I told my bio mamas like I Can't stay here anymore. Like, I need to go home and I need I need to get my life back on track, and this is not how I want to live my life.

God spared Brandy from following in the footsteps of her biological mom and the poor decisions that she had made two decades prior, which ultimately led to Brandy and her brothers growing up without a mom. But thankfully, Brandy was no longer on that path.

That was a long time ago. And a few years later, Brandy married her husband, John, and they've now been married for seventeen years and have two kids of their own. And as Brandy has raised a family of her own, it's given her a whole new perspective on what she thought she wanted all those years ago. What I think I've learned in this whole process is family just really doesn't look like I thought it was going to look.

What I saw as family was the nice house and the pool in the backyard and we eat out on Friday nights and we I had this picture uh of what I saw in all my friends too growing up of like this is what my life should look like. family just doesn't it's not what I thought it was. It's not perfect and it's very messy.

And also family was granny. That was family. It didn't look like I thought it should have. But she loved us and cared for us and took care of us and I think the most important thing that she did for us was continue to put us in the way of Jesus over and over. There's nobody I can be. There's nothing anyone else can do to me that will make God stop loving me. And I fought my whole life To be loved.

And I think too, a piece of that that I had not realized until way later in my life is he grieves with me for the years of hurt and darkness and pain.

I think I've grown a lot and healed a lot from questioning and and maybe almost judging the actions of of people in my life and why they did certain things, you know, even with my biological mom, you know, if I could talk to her today and had a conversation with her today, There is a lot of hurt that's there for sure and some questions, but also I think there's grace for knowing that I I actually never walked through those days by myself.

I never laid in my bed alone, truly. The God of the universe was there even in that moment with me. But I think even something probably I've learned in the last five years of my life is No family is perfect. No family is gonna give you what you might think they will. And and I'm not even speaking in particular about, you know, my biological mom or my parents now or my granny, like I was searching in them for something they could never actually give me. I was searching for a full acceptance.

that no matter what happens, no matter what life throws our way, no matter anything, I was putting on them the weight that I think in reality what I should have realized was something that God handles only. The weight of a God who says there is nothing that can separate us. You are my daughter. I am your father. But it's not just cause you've been kind of good or kind of okay, or even'cause you fought really hard and you've survived this hardship. It's

I'm your father'cause I love you and I care for you. As our conversation wrapped up, Brandy shared a few last thoughts about what may have happened in her life had God not intervened. Life could be so different than what it is. You know, I have these moments of temptation of just like it was so legalistic, just like going to church and doing all the motions and all the things and man, the Lord even used that. The Lord used that. to I think truly spiritually save me and physically save me from

so much worse, you know. I think the trajectory of my life, the fact that I'm married, that I live in Austin, Texas, that I have these two kids and they go to this school and I have this job, like I think because of what the Lord brought me through and because of my life and just the story, especially those first stories. Several years of life, it gives me a different perspective on my life today. Of I very possibly could not have had any of this. My life could be.

so different, one eighty from what this life looks like. My life is not perfect by any stretch, but I follow a good God who is kind and has given me a good husband and these beautiful children and a church that loves Jesus and declares the gospel at every turn, you know. And a beautiful community of friends. Like

What a gift. It's also something to not be ashamed of or feel guilty about, but to feel grateful for. I'm not proud in the sense of look at everything I've accomplished, because I did none of this. I I was a very crazy, doubtful Insecure. girl for so long and the Lord in his kindness even used that to draw me to himself. And so I don't say any of that of all look at these great things I have and like a prideful

Look what I've done, you know, to earn this goodness. It's no, it's all God. Brandy, thanks for coming and sharing your story of what God has done. Thank you. It's a gift to share. Amen.

When I think about Brandy's testimony, I think about all the people that God placed in her life, each at the right season. None of them were perfect, but they were each used by God to direct Towards him. And made sure that Brandy was on that church bus every Sunday morning and every Wednesday night. The church that Brandy attended may not have been perfect, but And the couple that took in Brandy and her brother for nine months displayed.

And family could look like warts and all. And Mike and Kim were willing to close the You're not leaving. You belong here with us. For you, our listeners, whatever season of life you may be in, pay attention. In the middle of a trial, perhaps God has already sent someone across your path to encourage. Or perhaps God is sending you. To be his tangible hands and feet to someone else. Yeah. Heidi, but if God has called you to it, Yeah. And as Brandy's life story proves, Use anyone for his purposes.

Also, you can watch a short film about Brandy's testimony created by our friends at Story Partners. And yes, that is the same Story Partner. The podcast, that's also part of the Proclaim Podcast Network. In addition to the great podcasts, they also Wonderful test. Just head over to Compound Podcast.com, look up the show notes for this episode and we'll to the video.

And if you know someone who would be encouraged by Brandy's story, please send this to them. It's episode number 106 with Brandy Seiko. Special thanks to my buddy Gabriel LaFont who helped me record Brandy's testimony. Gabriel and his wife Rachel owned. Marketing, which helps mid-sized companies just like Compelled, craft an online presence that they're proud of. They specialize in content creation, social media, photography, and video production. They've been a blessing to compete.

And they'd love to bless you as well. If you have marketing needs, then Keylightmarketing.com. We love releasing compelled stories for free, but that's only possible. Financial support of our listeners like you. Would you consider joining Compelled? As of right now, we have 207 monthly partners and we'd love to see that number grow.

A single episode of Compelled can take upwards of 80 hours to produce, and it's not cheap. If you want to help us continue creating more stories with excellence, just like Brandy's, You'll get access to all of our behind the scenes interviews with over a hundred hours of additional interview coming. We never had time to publish. In fact, actually, I think it's closer to 200 hours, but I just haven't done the math on that yet.

Almost two more hours of stories just with Brandy. So if you enjoyed hearing the stories that she shared and would like learn more of the insights and life application that she also shared with us. Behind the scenes content is for you. from Brandy and all of our other guests and our behind the scenes content when you become a monthly. And you'll also get access to the first one. new episodes one week early without ads. Price, it's totally up to you.

Just choose the monthly amount that makes sense for you. And by doing that, you're helping us create To join as a monthly partner or one time donation just visit compelled podcast.com slash donate. Today's episode was edited by Will Jackson, Nixing and Mastering by Sonomorpic, and our associate producer is my hardworking wife, Sarah Hastings. I'm your host Paul Hastings and you've been listening to Compelled, we'll be back next Another compelling story.

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