When accumulated trauma and worry have our anxiety levels running high, we are often in a place where we simply expect that (more) bad things are going to happen—even when, objectively, things seem to be going well. It can actually be just this, things going well, that feel so out of the ordinary that we assume it won’t last and start to live in a state of suspension. This in-between state prevents us from living in the moment, from celebrating even small successes or positive steps. Our team lo...
Jul 05, 2025•43 min•Ep. 270
Though designed for families to help shepherd Loved Ones into treatment and recovery, CRAFT turns out to be a versatile framework that you can use anywhere, with anyone. And since our relationship with our Self is foundational for all the rest, it’s only logical—essential, Kayla says—that we’d find ways to practice CRAFT on ourselves. Does this sound confusing and strange? Let our families explain how they've approached this. Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigati...
Jun 27, 2025•44 min•Ep. 268
What are the pitfalls of comparing your story and situation to that of others? How do you live in the world where not everyone is experiencing or expecting substance use or mental health issues, where people more readily discuss their Loved Ones' celebrations, accomplishments, and milestones? Our co-hosts talk about their own frustrations with comparing their situations to those of others, and how they've learned to handle it over time. A membership at Allies in Recovery provides: ✔ A structured...
Jun 20, 2025•44 min•Ep. 268
Dads come together for a fascinating chat about the work they're doing around their children's substance use/recovery. What's different about how Moms and Dads approach the work? They suggest that the love felt for their Loved One is equal, but the interactions are quite different. James,a father of four, points out that Dads are often focused on detaching from their young adult sons, in order to let them become more independent—and this can also be exacerbated by the contrast of Moms being more...
Jun 13, 2025•1 hr 22 min•Ep. 267
Responding to a question from an Allies member, our co-hosts tackle a tough situation. Our member fears her adult child will be triggered to drink at their sibling’s upcoming wedding. Things could really get out of hand. Mom's trying to anticipate things CRAFTily, but there are many people involved. Worry and high expectations tend to be baked into weddings. Tune in to hear our team brainstorming in real time and listen to the guidance they offer up. At Allies in Recovery, we know that change st...
Jun 06, 2025•34 min•Ep. 266
How did Casie Fariello and Liz Reitman come to build Other Parents Like Me (OPLM), an impressive network of worldwide support meetings, expert talks and much more? Kayla speaks with Casey and Liz of OPLM, who describe themselves as "two moms determined to make a difference." The organization supports and educates parents with kids going through mental health challenges of all kinds, often including substance use. For more about OPLM, visit oplm.com . At Allies in Recovery, we train, guide, and s...
May 30, 2025•40 min•Ep. 265
Though it seems intuitive and important to avoid black and white thinking, what do you do instead? There are shades of gray, but our host Elizabeth suggests that a rainbow spectrum is really where complexity can live, a world where color, acceptance, softening, connection, and recognition of micro-successes are the path leading away from the contraction and defensiveness of black and white thinking. Visit Allies in Recovery to start your new path towards healing addiction in your family....
May 26, 2025•39 min•Ep. 264
The team weighs in definitively on the question, Is Everyone Creative? They share with us some key ways to get your creative juices flowing and move past blockages, and point to creative outlets you may not have considered. The Families Speak team is comprised of mothers and fathers on a journey with an addicted loved one. These family members have encountered the same struggles as anyone else with substance use in the family, but the journey they’ve embarked on is exceptional. They generously s...
May 16, 2025•28 min•Ep. 263
Creativity has been a central element of healing for many of our Families Speak cohosts. For some, it arrived like a lifeline when their family was in crisis. For others, creativity remained frustratingly out of reach during the lowest point of crisis. The team dives into the countless ways we can access creative energy, and how it helped them. "Creativity is in everything if you're paying attention," affirms Allies in Recovery parent, Suzanne. (See below to find her music online) The Families S...
May 09, 2025•24 min•Ep. 262
Kayla and Isabel speak with Mississippi native Jane Clair Tyner, Communications Manager of the dynamic education and advocacy organization, End It For Good . Jane Clair describes the "Thank God moment" she had when she first discovered the CRAFT method, albeit bittersweet: she had already lost her first-born son to drug-related complications. She weighs in on the current challenge faced by Allies in Recovery and so many other organizations who are losing their funding because of the current admi...
May 05, 2025•37 min•Ep. 261
For these parents, behavior change started when they began coming to terms with not having control over their Loved One . Learn about the stages of behavior change that we all go through, and how to open to the challenge. Delve into this inspiring conversation and consider Kayla's affirmation that: "If I'm part of the problem, it means I'm also part of the solution!"Psychotherapist Kayla Solomon invites members from the support group she facilitates for Allies in Recovery to share their experien...
Apr 25, 2025•40 min•Ep. 260
It’s human to make decisions that we later regret. Especially when addiction is present in our Loved Ones, fear and deep concern can often color our decision-making process. To see more clearly, we can take a step (or two) back and look at the situation through a new lens. I’m used to considering my Loved One’s needs first, but where do I fit into the equation? What are my own needs right now and what/where are my boundaries? What can I live with and what can’t I? What are my core values and am ...
Apr 18, 2025•29 min•Ep. 259
There's a science to identifying the ripest moments for talking with your Loved One and knowing how to navigate them. Find out the opening lines that are sure to shut the conversation down before it even starts. Find out how to approach your Loved One in a way that keeps communication lines open. And finally, find out what you should have in your back pocket in case a ripe moment arises. A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to: · Support groups for connection & guida...
Apr 12, 2025•35 min•Ep. 258
When we face uncertainty, especially in relation to a Loved One struggling with substances, we tend to catastrophize, and challenging emotions like fear and helplessness can take over. As one mother puts it, "I jump on the zipline to nowhere." Each of our Families Speak co-hosts brings nuggets of wisdom and hard-earned strategy to this super-relevant conversation. Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted loved one. They are all members of All...
Apr 04, 2025•31 min•Ep. 257
Children are often present when a parent or other Loved One uses substances problematically. It can be complicated to know how much to say to them about the substance use, and they might not necessarily have the words to talk about it. Kayla and Isabel talk about ways to spare the children as much as possible, and even "use them" as leverage. Partner CRAFT is the podcast series by Allies in Recovery that focuses on applying the CRAFT method with a romantic partner (or ex-partner) who struggles w...
Mar 28, 2025•41 min•Ep. 256
Two sisters continue to look at their present-day relationship with a Dad with problematic drinking and mental illness. How have they changed the way they respond now as young adults, when they see him drinking? What observations do they have of CRAFT in action? Kayla weighs in with some inspired guidance for the girls, going forward. The CRAFT method was designed for any family member to use with a Loved One suffering from addiction and/or mental health issues. Allies in Recovery guides you thr...
Mar 21, 2025•34 min•Ep. 255
An honest and deeply real account from two sisters. They were pre-teens when their parents split up and they started to see the signs their Dad had a serious drinking problem. Their mom began using CRAFT with him and the girls navigated as best they could. Fast forward 13 years: they're young adults, both living far away. How have they been affected and where are they today? The CRAFT method was designed for any family member to use with a Loved One suffering from addiction and/or mental health ...
Mar 14, 2025•32 min•Ep. 255
Kayla checks in with Annie Highwater, a regular contributor to our blog, about ways that CRAFT and Allies in Recovery's member site have changed her as a person. Is your Loved One struggling with addiction? Allies in Recovery’s online program can help. You’ll learn a powerful, evidence-based approach to improve your wellbeing and that of other family members. Allies in Recovery provides the strategy, words, and actions a family needs to successfully move their Loved One with addiction toward sto...
Mar 13, 2025•36 min•Ep. 252
When your Loved One has substance use and/or mental illness, communication can get sticky and prickly pretty quickly. Yet there's no world where we'll never need to have difficult conversations with our family members. CRAFT provides an incredibly effective toolbox for developing more easeful relationships. In this episode, our co-hosts—family members dealing with a Loved One's substance/mental health struggles—share how they've come to approach sensitive topics. The skillset they've learned fro...
Mar 08, 2025•46 min•Ep. 253
What goes around, comes around. Kenny, Bridget, and Elizabeth came to Allies in Recovery as family members looking for help with shifting the dynamic with an addicted Loved One. At the time, rather than recording episodes for the world, they were listening and learning, like you. Listen to them speak about their all-time favorite Coming Up for Air episodes and why they were so impactful. One Families Speak family member recently referred to Allies in Recovery as “the Bible of Healing Ourselves.”...
Mar 01, 2025•27 min•Ep. 252
Money is already such a huge issue for almost everyone, before you even add Substance Use Disorder (SUD) into the mix! Things get exponentially more complex when it's your loved one with addiction issues asking for money. Whether it's "just 20 dollars" or rent for an apartment, families often experience the feeling of being hostage to their fear for their loved one. Giving your loved one money can play into that dynamic. Our hosts share their stance re: money before finding CRAFT, and what chang...
Feb 15, 2025•42 min•Ep. 251
In part 2 of 2, Isabel, Kayla, and their co-hosts -- family members with direct experience -- discuss their favorite tools and tips they've picked up from working with the CRAFT method through Allies in Recovery . Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted loved one. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing training, guidance, support and resources to families ready to shift the dynamic with their loved one strug...
Feb 08, 2025•24 min•Ep. 250
Isabel, Kayla, and co-hosts with direct experience discuss their favorite tools and tips they've picked up from working with the CRAFT method through Allies in Recovery . Part 1 of 2. Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted loved one. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing training, guidance, support and resources to families ready to shift the dynamic with their loved one struggling with substance use. With...
Feb 01, 2025•23 min•Ep. 250
If you have an addicted loved one, chances are you're all too familiar with "hyper-arousal" or "survival mode." As Emily explains with brio, this state is meant to serve us when there's danger, then pass. What does it look like when we're chronically in this mode? Physical and mental/emotional signs are there and can serve as signposts, Emily explains, indicating we're heading down a certain path. Awareness is KEY in being able to begin the process of observing, naming what's happening, then (on...
Jan 25, 2025•42 min•Ep. 249
Sometimes, our Loved Ones' situations call for incredibly difficult decisions. Co-host Hazel shares a recent high-stakes moment that felt like a necessary betrayal. Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted loved one. They are all members of Allies in Recovery , an online platform providing training, guidance, support and resources for families ready to shift the dynamic with their loved one struggling with substance use. With grace, compassio...
Jan 18, 2025•30 min•Ep. 248
When there's Substance Use Disorder (SUD) and mental health diagnoses, what do you do? Can you use CRAFT? Yes, most of the time you can, unless the mental health issues make you or them unsafe. Co-host Bridget offers a central point: with this difficult combo, think of what is, not "what if." Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted loved one. They are all members of Allies in Recovery , an online platform providing training, guidance, suppor...
Jan 11, 2025•29 min•Ep. 247
How do you deal with having hard feelings around your loved one's substance use? Kayla, Carolyn, Bridget, Elizabeth, and Kenny discuss their experiences and feelings of anxiety, frustration, and fear and their tools for handling the situation. The Allies in Recovery program and the CRAFT Method for families seeking to help a loved one with addiction, teach concrete skills to shift the dynamics between you and your loved one. Paying closer attention to your own feelings, and taking a bit of dista...
Jan 04, 2025•30 min•Ep. 246
It's easy to feel like you have to be perfect with CRAFT, perfect with your loved one to be successful. But perfectionism gets in the way of connection. It can blind us, keep us from seeing our loved one fully. Acknowledging things not going the way you wanted, taking responsibility for behavior that doesn’t work--that’s part of the connection, and the healing part of the process. If your loved one feels connection and love, that’s the beginning of treatment. Our Families Speak series features a...
Jan 02, 2025•28 min•Ep. 241
If we're doing too much for our loved ones with substance use disorder, we'll never truly know how capable they are. We need to step back to see their capability and witness their choices, realizing that they have their own motivations and values. CRAFT is about creating a strong connection without necessarily doing things for them. This is a process, one which respects the other person. Do the things that feel right, but not if you're stepping over a line. You may try and fail, or need to apolo...
Jan 02, 2025•25 min•Ep. 242
Kayla and Isabel discuss the complications of rewarding your Loved One with addiction, in the context of a partner relationship. How does it affect time with children? How about intimacy? Partner CRAFT is the podcast series by Allies in Recovery that focuses on applying the CRAFT method with a romantic partner (or ex-partner) who struggles with addiction. Co-hosts Kayla Solomon (psychotherapist, IMAGO counselor and Group Facilitator for Allies in Recovery) speaks with Isabel Cooney (Allies in Re...
Dec 28, 2024•34 min•Ep. 245
