Hey guys, and welcome back to Sex Talks by Layla. final episode for this Literally this series is just flowering And this final episode is an advice special. We're going to answer all the sex questions. think of us like you're unqualified So, one of the biggest questions that we're being asked at the moment from all the couples out there is how we can stay sane and patient when we're cooped up and self-isolating with our other half.
yeah preach Bobby I mean every single one of Bradley's annoying habits and habits I didn't even know he had are being exposed but I'm going to come back to that later To kick things off, I want to share some pretty fascinating sex research that Laila has conducted recently with highlights it's actually possible to orgasm your way happier. According to Lalo's research, an orgasm boosts Brits' happiness by 10-20% and almost 4 in 5 Brits say that they feel less stressed after having an orgasm.
Okay so masturbation over mindfulness when it comes to stress relief then. Plus another study they conducted looked into which professions across the UK are having the most sex. Bob, can you guess which profession is the kinkiest? reality TV stars. Well, you'd think so, wouldn't you? But in actual fact, over 33% of farmers get jiggy at least once a day, closely followed by 21% of architects and 17% of hairdressers.
That's hilarious because I used to be a hairdresser and then I learned to be a farmer. When I say I learned to be a farmer, I spent 10 days on a farm. I weren't very successful, though. So, thinking about it, you've got to love a sexy farmer, right? You do, really, yeah. I think it's the Czech shirt. Final one for you Liv. Does orgasming help boost the economy though?
So I'm going back to lay low research here and if you were to bring the argument forward for orgasms boosting mood and productivity at work, then there is a link between wanking and the economy growing. So Boris, masturbation for the nation at this time please. Now, on to answering some of your questions about us and our sex lives, and we're going to try and answer them as frankly as possible.
We've spent nine weeks grinning our guests, so I guess it's only fair that we talk the talk. I'll go first. Bob, let's start with a kind of obvious place to start, I think. When did you first know you were gay and how did you go about coming out? So this is always a strange one for me to answer when people ask because... I, looking back, think I probably always knew, but when I was younger, I didn't know what gay was. But when I look back and I think of certain situations or whatever, I think...
I obviously know that I was different. And in terms of coming out, I never really had to. Like, I think my mum and dad, I mean, well, they lived with me. I think it was kind of, they just kind of, they could tell the signs was there. Like, I was... I was just always, I mean, and again, I'm not generalising because not all gamers are like me and obviously everything isn't in one box, but...
I was very much more in friendship groups with a lot more girls. I had friends that was boys, but I loved being friends with girls. I loved Playing with a barber. I mean, I always had a Polly Pocket in the hand. And then growing up, when boys was going down White Hart Lane and West Ham, I was going shopping to Lakeside, so...
Yeah, I think I never really had to do the sit down, mum and dad. You're going to be really shocked here. They never fell off their chair, put it that way. There wasn't like a moment. They just went without saying. Stevie Wonder could tell, you know what I mean? Right, Bob, you fire one at me. Right, my turn now to fire the question. So live. How much masturbation is too much? What a question to ask during this isolation lockdown period. That's a difficult one, isn't it? I mean...
It's like everyone's different aren't they? I mean I've had boyfriends that don't masturbate at all or I've had some that masturbate a lot. I would say I'm like a bit of a medium. I'm like a once or twice a weeker. But I think, who am I to say what's... enough or too much for someone, do you know what I mean? Yeah, completely. Have you felt an increase in your once to twice a week during self-isolation? Well, no, because we're having actual more real sex because we're together.
so i guess if you were isolating on your own this probably would be a time when you would be like wanking yourself into a coma every night but i guess because i'm isolated with my partner We're just probably having sex more because there's something to do. Yeah, just passing the time. I would be intrigued to know in about nine months if there's going to be a surge in the amount of babies being born. Oh, I bloody well hope not. I'm double wrapping.
Right, but I'm going to ask you another question. Here's one. How do you recommend keeping things fresh in a relationship? Oh, that's a good question. I would say to keep things fresh is... I think you've still always got to make the effort and never get complacent. I think it's so easy when you've been in a relationship for a certain period of time to...
just become complacent to just both come home from work. I mean, we all live busy, hectic lives. I mean, obviously pre-corona and lockdown, like generally people, we're working far more hours than we ever have in the past. things like it's so easy to come home be tired order a takeaway or cook something and sit on the sofa and put netflix on and um just be too tired for things so i think The key is to still find each other attractive, to still make an effort.
to still do date night and yeah, let your partner know that you're still desirable to each other. Yeah, I love it, Bob. So live. What is the most adventurous thing that you've ever done in bed? I'm sure there's a few things because I know you pretty well and I know you loved it. Oh my God, I don't even know where to start. I'm not going to lie, Bobby, no, I can be like a bit of a kinky minky.
What is the most adventurous thing though? That's like a broad question. God, why have my mum and dad done listening to this? I don't know. Most of the sex I've had with Brad's been pretty wild. I'm trying to think of a good example, though. Come on, Liv. I know you don't pretend to be some little shrinking ivy there. I know you loves it. You're like a little vixen. You can't get enough of it. Oh, stuff it, Mum. I'm not having sex, like. in public places or like
When other people are in the room. Something like that. That's all you're getting out of me. That's all you're getting. That is definitely pretty adventurous. I'll take that. Thank you for being honest. You're so welcome, babes. Right, I'm going to ask you another question. Hmm, that's just a good one. What do you think the biggest misconception there is about gay sex? Oh, you're banging out the good questions today, girl.
biggest misconception I think because people I mean it's really hard because I generally that's my sex i don't have any other sex apart from gay sex so i don't know what people would look in to see as a misconception really i mean i know a lot of people are always when people talk about anal even though I suppose I'm showing my AJ because Times have changed and anal is a lot more popular with I even strike couples.
but a lot of people always go oh how do you do it like a lot of a lot of my friends that are girls will say oh gosh it's really hurting i've tried it on my boyfriend loves it and he can't get enough of it but i really struggle with it and it really hurts how do you how do you do it but i think when when that's your your sex life you just get used to it and and there's techniques like you've got to have the techers you know i mean yeah
experience on your side, Bobby. This ain't my first ride, guys. So live. To wrap up this little section, how do you deal with annoying habits inbred? Like, particularly when you've isolated together. okay i'm gonna be honest you know me bob i'm not the most tolerant i'm probably quite a bad person to self-isolate with because i do get irritated quite easily
You know, like, I'm even looking at him being like, can you fucking breathe quieter? Like, honestly, I'm going to murder you. And that's all it can take for me. So what we've been doing the last couple of days, and this is the tip I'd give to any couples, new, old, whatever. I mean, we only live in an apartment. We've only got the one level, but...
you were doing things like when I went for my walk yesterday I just went on my own and then last night we sat in separate rooms and watched TV like I sat in the bedroom and watched telly and he sat in the lounge and some people might be like oh that's a bit miserable do you know what I mean like you live together god you hate each other it's like no we love each other but it's just giving each other that like a bit of physical distance
that i think that's the biggest tip i'd get don't be on top of each other which is so tempting i think to do when you're just because you're isolating together doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip you can still kind of live on different schedules does that make sense Like I'm an early bird so I'm up at like half seven so he's asleep for like another two hours. So I have the apartment to myself and that time is really nice.
to be alone like you know just sort of taking the day before he gets up and starts fucking blaring fifa on top volume and i want to jump off the balcony You're so right. I think, yeah, literally, 100% hit the nail on the head. You're definitely still, even in a couple, need to have your own space. 100%. Definitely, definitely. Are you isolating with Matt? I am, so I've had a bit of a stinker, I ain't gonna lie. Me and Matt got back off our lovely holiday, and I've come home to my apartment.
With a flood. No! Yeah, so the flood's flooded. The water's gone into the electric box. So we've had to isolate ourselves or self-isolate at my parents. So yeah, we're self-isolating and bear in mind, we don't live together properly. It's a big step. This is the most time we've ever spent on the bounce with each other because We've had holidays now, but we've had our holiday and then we've gone into self-isolation.
So, yeah, we're together, and obviously we're still a relatively new couple. I've only been with him for, like, I've known him, what, seven months, been with him slightly less. But, no, I know what you mean. Even us at our early stage, are having our own space, so sometimes I'll be downstairs, I could just be in the kitchen. I'll cook for us. I have my own space doing that. I'll have my iPad set up and I'll be watching something on the iPad. He'll be upstairs watching something.
in my room if we're watching a film or a program so yeah we're still having our own space now leaving to do his little thing like the other day i was just on instagram um like doing like a little bake along just to pass the time. So I was making cupcakes and he's up here watching something. And so, yeah, I think that having your own space is definitely key because you don't want to get on each other's tits.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah, 100%. Why don't we do like a little mash-up of past episodes? Sounds great to me, Rob. I'm so game. So, guys, I hope you've enjoyed hearing our honest response to your questions. And thank you so much for sending them in. Finally, let's take a moment to reflect on the eye-opening sex revelations that we have learned over the past nine weeks.
We've genuinely loved speaking to all of our sex positive guests about what gets them off. We've got down and dirty with some of our guests and heard all about their sexual preferences. So warm you up and get the juices flowing. We have a little game that we call Hot or Not. Are you up for it? Let's go. It's as simple as it sounds. So basically we'll say what it is and you just tell us if it's hot or not. Let's start it off. Dirty talk. Hot.
It depends. I'm going to go in there hot as well, Bob. Yeah, hot all the way. Yeah. One for you, Bob. Deep throat in. I'm quite proud of my abilities there. But I find it hot more just like for a kind of almost like a skill display. I'm like, oh, am I good, babe? Like, whenever I do, I just feel really proud of myself. It's like a circus track. Yeah, when I was younger, I used to have no, like, proudly no gag reflex, and now...
I'm like getting older and a bit more like picky about like the dicks I'll have in my mouth. Does anyone like gagging? Apart from the boys love the gagging. They do love it. I mean, that's a... A little bit of a generalization, but most guys. My partner doesn't like gagging, but I like gagging. I want to be like... Fucked up against the wall. Outdoor sex, hot or not? Oh hot. Not.
I'd love to be just thrown in a bush, you know. Keep it exciting, you know. I'm going to go for not, because that just sounds fucking painful. Bob, outdoor sex. oh yeah it's not for me no hey mrs dick sand like don't you like a bit of outdoor sex i'm trying to think on a beach No, there's a lot of sand in the vagina. Wasn't it you that had sex on a beach? Yeah, and I got arrested. Yeah, again, I'd say hot. I mean, Tom and I have been together a very long time, so...
You know, I would say you need to do some spicing up sometimes. And yeah, we've had sex in a car and stuff. And even heard a couple of sexual fantasies from fans. There's one guy that loves my feet and loves my socks. He's a guy. Yeah, he's a guy. I love that. And all he does is message me about socks and if I'm wearing the wrong sock colour, he'll tell me that you shouldn't have white socks with them or show me some more of your white socks. I love you in white socks.
Do you think it's like a fetish thing? I think he's got a fetish. What did you ask? Do you think it's a fetish thing? I don't think he's a sock designer. I'm just gonna put it out there. I think it's a fetish. A lot of people are like that. I get messages asking to send people my tights. I was on the actual things. The actual things. Oh, you can imagine what they're going to do with it. After a workout.
Dirty knickers and sock requests are quite frequent on the gram, I think. These people are not well. No one's ever asked for my socks. Oh, Bob. If you're out there and you're on Bobby's socks, you know what to do because they'll send them to your first class mail, baby. What you got on there, babs? I'll read you the most recent one that I got. Please fuck me right now. I'm so horny for you. Wank me off, please. You can ride me or we could do anal. Please. I've been wanking to you all day.
Sweet Jesus. Well, he's got no profile picture, so I don't even know whether I'd want to come off a lot. Said please. I mean, that's something. I mean, manners. We like manners around here, Bob, don't we? Absolutely. What it's actually like to be on a porn set.
Quite often they wouldn't have ever met each other before. But I feel like... Depends on the industry. Yeah, it depends what side of it. Because I'm thinking more like LA, San Fernando Valley. Yeah, yeah. That's probably what it's more like over there. Well, they all know each other.
sort of in that well i guess people know each other but they won't necessarily have like met before four at the same time like you can just be paired up with anyone and like it doesn't matter if you're attracted to them or not yeah when we go through the process of making our porn films we chat with both
performers and make sure that they're like interested in each other yeah because we wouldn't want to pair people up that weren't hot for each other so that's so what i wanted to know i was interested in like Is there a physical attraction there for the artists that are performing or...? I think it's different person to person. Definitely. Because I think sometimes you can get that instant attraction and be really into each other.
but then some performers aren't necessarily into each other, but they still are there to do a good job and switch it on when they need to. Again, I suppose it's just like acting on a film set or a TV set. You might have a connection, you might not, but still have to play the part. You still have to, yeah. how long do sort of is the average like shoot like how long are they expected to sort of have sex for does it run its natural course or do you be like right we need an hour today of
I feel like on our side of the industry, it's more like an hour filming a sex scene. Yeah, at most. It does obviously depend on what you're doing in the scene and what you have planned, especially if you're doing something like crazy, over-the-top, artistic, then maybe you need more time. And we sort of say, okay, we want you to continue for maybe half an hour and we'll let you know if we've got enough or we need to go back and do some shots. but we try and keep it as
natural and as free-flowing as possible. You don't want to fuck them up or get in their heads or stop anything. It's been different, that's for sure. As we say though, it's taught us a lot. What have been some of your big learnings through the job, Bobby? I think personally for me is how fast sex toys for men have developed over the past few years, as we learned when we sat down with guests Cameron and Mark. So Hugo was one of my...
Best-selling products. And it is a couple's toy. You can use it with a partner. It's an anal toy, but it comes with a little, I call it a little pebble, where you can control the senses. So if it's inside of you, your partner can stand and shake it, vibrate it, rotate it. So it's really fantastic, the Hugo. And then the Bruno is the same shape. but minus the sense motion, minus the play bit. And then we've got Loki, which is a...
and will you insert it yourself? I think a lot of women love Loki as well for the man to play or it could be a good male first toy. This is a prostate massager.
and this is what i love about the brand and i think i've said in some other episodes i feel so many people just associate sex toys with females and there's so many on the market now for men and prostate massagers are like going through the roof in terms of sales it's the way forward so feel the pressure on that this one's called Loki it's like a sort of like so that one i had the clip massage was very like high vibrations this is like more like you can't really hear it it's like
It's almost silent, isn't it? But that's like a very, like, sort of like a rumbling, isn't it? Yeah, just like a... Pulsation? That's exactly the word, Nick. It's a pulsation. Oh, wait, hold on. When you turn... Shit, you'd honestly... Steal the power on that. You had to take the fucking road. We'll have a go on that, Nick. Oh my god, yeah, I like that.
but also hearing about drag culture and identity as part of sexuality. For me being raised as a man really ruined my childhood and really ruined really my life for a while because it was all that shit that came in the Middle East all the ways I failed what my parents expected me to be. As a man. As a man. And it's like, wow, if we actually had looser gender categories, then maybe that would have been a lot easier. Yeah. I guess the question back to you guys is like, when did,
when did anyone choose to be the gender that they are no one actually ever made an active choice yeah you never chose like i i love it if you love being a woman that's amazing but when did anyone make a choice to do that we're just told right so what happens when you ask the next question which is like What do I really feel?
My drag is really sort of about looking at sort of underrepresented images in the Middle East and dressing up as iconic Arab women who you would not usually see on any Western. depictions of Middle Eastern culture try and I'd say my drag is maybe sort of dangerously funny. Sexuality is who you go to bed with and gender is who you go to bed as. I didn't coin that, but that's...
my go-to. You could just sell that on totals and pens or something like that. Gender is who you are, sexuality is who you fancy. What about you Emily, similar sort of stance? I mean, I'm sort of very...
i'm still exploring my new identity as queerness because i've i don't know really like i've always dated cis men and then the last year i was just exploring and realized that it wasn't really for me and like i guess the whole gender and sexuality i'm sort of like my eyes are very new to it all and then i was just like am i allowed to be queer because i'm you know i'm not like some 15 year old kid like but
you can close yeah i know what you mean yeah yeah and then i talked to my partner about it and they're like yes you can you know say this yeah i think that especially within the lgbt community up until this point there's been such a like a push to
define yourself as lgb or t you can't be in the middle and you can't you know be exploring there can't be a period of time where you're like kind of figuring it out honestly i'm here for the honest chat about wanking The first time I found out about my clitoris was by somebody else touching it.
And that was... basically by accident and i was like fuck me what the fuck is that he probably didn't even know what he was talking about so uh i made it a mission of mine to talk to my kids about masturbating.
If something's kept secret, it's got that kind of sense of shame attached to it. Totally. And I always had a sense of shame whenever I used to touch myself and I just don't want my kids to grow up like that. I feel like the more... orgasms I've given myself the more empowered I've been the more in touch with my own body
And also the better I can then tell my partner what to do. So I'm having better sex by masturbating more. So I've got a question for you. How and when did you start to know what you wanted when it came to sex? It's like an ever-evolving process, but I think the key thing for that is wanking and masturbation and fantasies. That's how you know what you want. And something I talk about a lot is you might be having a fantasy.
But you might not actually want to do that fantasy. You might have a fantasy that you're being... like a group sex orgy with loads of strangers in an alleyway yeah and that's what you masturbate about and then you think in reality do I want that no it sounds cold and dirty and dangerous But like...
what are you feeling when you're when you're fantasizing about that situation like are you feeling in control are you feeling out of control what is it that turns you on like what is yeah is it the novelty is it like the fact that all these people really desire you is it like the power dynamic like what is it and then it's really interesting and I suppose like you say fantasies sometimes are just that so the idea of something is
often better than the reality of it when it comes to an alley rather than being shagged around the bins like an alley cat the thought of it's probably better than the actual logistic cold wheelie bin 100% 100% So that's it. A big thank you to Lalo for this season of Come Together. Make sure you check out all their projects online to spice up your sex life and most importantly, solo play.
And a massive thank you to all the guests and you as the listeners. It's been amazing and I've loved every single second of doing this. Thank you. Bob, it's been so much fun. It's been a ball. I've honestly loved it. I mean let's have it right in terms of podcast this couldn't be more made for me and you. It was made for me and you Bob. I'll be seeing you very soon and hopefully seeing our listeners soon as well. Definitely and And Cape Sight, guys.
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