Your 2026 F*ck-It List

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You're listening to Come Curious. Your 2026 Fuck It List. Love lessons in ditching old habits. Happy New Year, curious fuckers. Happy New Year. Yeah, it is 2026. You're really holding it in there. It's 2026. This is the brand new year. We've had Christmas and New Year's and this is all not true. We are pre-recording this episode so we can have our break.

christmas yes yes but i hope you had a great christmas i know i did and a great it's such a weird thing pre-recording things but it makes sense for us yeah it needs to happen Yeah, like, you know us, we put out a podcast pretty much every single Wednesday. for Patreon peeps every single Wednesday. And we, what, we take off, what, like, maximum three weeks a year? Yeah, we literally never take time off. It's mad. Yeah, apart from Christmas and, like...

A very rare occasion where we haven't got a backup and we end up not being able to record for whatever reason. But we are there every Wednesday slash Thursday. Recording, maybe.

I can't eat that whilst I'm recording. Thank you, though. I mean, you could try, Florence. You could try. Actually, John, bring it back. Yeah, yeah. She's hungry. She's feeling nauseous. Bring some food. Bring the food back. Wait.

for all the patreons what did he bring a pumpkin pie that he made yesterday oh my god i'm shocked i was seeing videos of pumpkin pies on instagram thank you what is it what does it taste like Florence what does pumpkin is it savory is it sweet I don't understand but I want it so fucking badly it's um it's sweet so it's very like cinnamony and like All the kind of Christmassy flavours. Actually like fall.

flavors so you know when you get like a pumpkin spice latte but that's really really sweet that's really sweet so we're like with the pie do you eat it like you would do cake you know is it like a dessert because i know that sometimes they have it as a side dish for like thanksgiving dinner No, no, no. I don't think, although I wouldn't put it past the Americans to do that because at this Thanksgiving, my husband's mother brought over.

sweet potato, like roast sweet potato. It was kind of like mashed sweet potato, but then they're also like whole sweet. I didn't really know what it was. But anyway, what was on top was marshmallows. You did mention this already. That's so crazy. That is crazy. I know. I didn't try it. And she knew it was... She knew it was sweet potato. It wasn't like, oh, I went to the store to get pumpkin. No, this is a dish that is served with the dinner. Wow. And that's like a normal traditional ting. Yeah.

Okay, so I'm sorry. I am feeling nauseous with the pregnancy because I haven't eaten anything enough today, so I'm going to have a bite of this pie. Yeah, have a bite, Florence. It looks so good. While you're eating that, let me just let everyone know if you're listening to this for free on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, then you can watch this. You can watch Florence receive and eat a pie on Patreon.

And you can also see our pretty faces, you know, talking about stuff. And of course, with Patreon patrons, you get the podcast a day early and that's on the lowest, cheapest tier. That's now... $5, $5 baby. And you get four episodes and you can keep eating. It's okay. I've got this. I've got your back. Okay, great. Thanks. Thanks so much. Yeah, you can join our little Patreon crew. Watch Florence eat his pie. Okay, one more bite.

Yeah, man, it looks so good. I could so go for some pumpkin pie right now. It looks so fucking back in. My husband's really good at cooking. Yeah, I was going to say your boy is a good cook, but he's your husband. That's so crazy. Oh, this is so irrelevant and maybe not even worth the podcast, but I had a really nice chat with Thomas. And for those of you who don't know my ex, we've had some really good cats.

up recently um and i hope it's okay but i was like yeah like florence got married and he was like what florence is married he was so happy for you oh yeah Oh, Thomas. He was so cute. Yeah. Oh, he's a cutie pie. He is. Yeah. And I've been reflecting a lot on that relationship because it was like... It was a really good, really fucking good relationship, even though it got really hard. You guys were good. Yeah, we were good. We were solid. And now I don't know what the fuck happened after that.

with the two relationships that I was in, I am not doing that again. I am finding another Thomas. I'm finding another Thomas. Yeah, you need another Thomas. It wasn't right for that time and you had a magical time together. you needed this middle piece for your own development and to find new things. Like I feel like you've learned a lot about yourself since those relationships.

What a way to bring it back round to the podcast at Flores. Sneaky secret professional over here. Getting us back on track, huh? Back on track. Okay, thank you. That's a really lovely thing to say. And yeah, I needed those two relationships to figure out what the fuck needed to happen. Like the sobriety. I just feel like none of that would have happened. No, absolutely not. I would still be fucking caning cocaine and ruining my life. 100%. 100%. Yeah. So it's...

Everything happens for a reason. Yeah, it does. I also just want to like have a little disclaimer notice for any... pre-people that are interested in seeing Thomas or that are dating Thomas or more. I have no interest in getting back with him. I really, really just love him as a friend. Just want to make that. perfectly clear yes yes oh yeah because I could come across like oh I want Thomas back

No, no, no. I mean, it's been like five years since our last relationship. We met each other when we were like early to mid-20s. Yeah, and you ended in 2020. Yes, during lockdowns and shit. That was fucking tough. But yeah, I had some really great calls with him. And it reminded me how easy it can be to be friends with exes. Yes.

When you both want it to work. Yes. When you're both over the hurt. Yes. Yes. Anyway, yes, I am digressing. Shall we get back into the episode? Let's get back into the New Year's special episode. So... If you were with us last year around this time, you would know that we did a similar style episode where we want you to kind of...

Come in, relax, like not stress about the new year, have a little bit of a journal sesh with us. So if you do want to get involved in the questions that we're asking each other and also ask yourself. um it's lots of questions about 2025 what you want for 2026 it's that kind of like let's decompress 2025 and what do we want to for making this like next year bigger, better, brighter for everyone around us and ourselves. Yeah, this is, we've done this episode kind of every new year for like...

A long time, right? Maybe even since... Yeah, maybe it was more than just last year. But yeah, we do this every new year and it's a really nice opportunity for Florence and I and the listeners to be able to just like, yeah. process what's going on and um kind of like look forward to this year and maybe have some realizations some revelations make some changes yes

Oh my God. It's so crazy when I think of this, this year, my year has been absolutely bonkers. Barrow. Barrow. You got married. And you got fucking up the duff. I know. And you moved house, I think, like a billion times. Yeah, I moved house three times this year. Three times. That's like already, people do that all in a whole lifetime, Florence. You've done that in a year. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucking crazy. It's actually crazy.

yeah it's full it's full on mad bonkers yeah okay so it kind of leads us into our get fucked and fuck yeah but we are doing it as a new year special so re what is one thing that can get fucked from 2025. Oh, yeah. You know what can get fucked? Yeah. My mouth is not full of pipe. He seemed so like caught in the act. You know what can get fucked, Florence? People who don't take accountability can get fucked. Fucked. Yes. Yeah, that is like, I can't.

I can't anymore. It's the people that give, that bring the excuses, that give the defense, that get the anger. Like, I'm talking family members, friends, partners, people.

Including yourself, because hell, we were all fucking there. There were times absolutely where I cannot take accountability or I have to... process and learn or I didn't take accountability and drugs are a huge part of that problem not being able to take accountability yeah and now as soon as somebody takes accountability it's like

oh fuck yeah I love you and things get resolved so much quicker like even even earlier just before we started recording on the podcast I brought up an issue with Florence that we had on a meeting yesterday and you took immediate accountability

which made me feel validated and heard. Yeah. And I was like, you know, if, if you'd be like, Oh no, no, I wasn't, I wasn't like that or something like that. Then I would be like, excuse me. That would be not taking accountability. Yeah. And then, and then it would have called.

was like a riff you know yeah yeah um but you took full accountability and i think we're really fucking good at that i think for the most part we're we're pretty fucking good at that or at least it takes us some processing time to do that yeah definitely yeah and i think sometimes it's easier said than done for that kind of stuff but it's something that is so worth learning to do

Mm-hmm. Oh, it's a game changer, especially in relationships. Because I feel like if you're not taking accountability, the reaction that you're giving is from your hurt. in a child is from like your core wounded beliefs you know it's that's like oh my god I feel this way and then afterwards it's like actually yeah I can see that I did react like that all anybody ever wants is to be heard and validated and understood

100 percent my get fucked is around pregnancy and the non-education around parts of pregnancy that are just so like I don't know there's loads of things that just aren't spoken about enough and I think one of those biggest one of the biggest things that I learned about this year was miscarriages and pregnancy losses And it was such a shock to kind of experience this, even though it was like kind of in the back of your mind, like, you know that this happens. I did not know how often.

this happens like yeah and it's it's like almost every single woman who has like been trying to conceive has almost had a miscarriage like there's been like one person that i've met that's like oh never i've never had one one person yeah there was all out of all the

Pregnant people and people with kids. That's crazy. I was when I when I visited the hospital, I was talking to like the first nurse in there and they ask you, like, is this your first or second pregnancy? Like which pregnancy is? And I have to say, this is my second pregnancy.

Because it is the second time that I've gotten pregnant. The first one was a loss and they have to note that down like medically. And she told me, she was like, oh yes, I've got four kids and I had a miscarriage in between every single one. Jeez Louise, yeah. It's wild. I mean, do you feel like maybe there's a reason why they don't educate and tell people that? Is it because they're afraid of women not wanting to?

try and go through a miscarriage because if we all knew that if we all knew that like oh it's part of it you know it's part of your body trying to figure things out and it's like very normal like like yeah would that stop more people from wanting to conceive or I feel like knowledge is power in these kind of circumstances as well. So I don't think it would stop people from wanting to have children. No, I don't think so either.

for the grief and like the hardship of the journey of trying to conceive and I just know that like from the community that I created for women trying to conceive There are so many people going through these things and they don't have anyone to talk to. They feel so alone in it. And yes, that can get fucked.

really definitely knowledge and even like other pregnancy stuff just about like how hard pregnancy is like legit it's so hard no one tells you how hard it is until you go through it until you're going through it and then suddenly you're hearing everyone else experiences and you're like hang on a second why was I not hearing all this stuff before I suppose it's like I guess people maybe don't have an interest enough to learn

to hear those experiences or they should be teaching pregnancy and miscarriage like like you know like like we do with psc studies or 100 you know like we do with learning about periods it should be part of the conversation like oh yeah just just to warn you

just to let you know, like, you might have a miscarriage before you concede. You know, there's... yeah loads of stuff yeah because i feel like at school it's just very much the birds and the bees and like this is how it happens this is how you get pregnant and then this is how the baby evolves not like all the bits in between like how long it takes people to try to conceive the age the difference with age and like what happened like reproductive facts I mean the stuff that I've learned since

starting has been incredible because then you kind of get your like laser focus on you're starting to listen to podcasts and um yeah you just learn so much stuff but yeah if we could be taught that in school that would be amazing Yeah. I mean, even just like you being pregnant, I've learned so much. And also there's just new science coming out all the time. That's fascinating. Like I do feel like my Instagram page has more like baby child pregnancy stuff on there.

so sorry yes it's so interesting yeah so many of my friends have their algorithms have like changed to pregnancy content because they've been talking to me about pregnancy I think like my mum keeps getting like baby stuff now one of my friends out here it's just like her whole feed so she keeps sending me pregnancy stuff and obviously the more you send it the more they're like

The more I engage. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I'm not being fed it because I'm not watching it, am I? Like, I'm definitely watching it like, oh, these are very interesting. Maybe I'll send that to flow. Yeah, exactly. So funny. So anyway, that's my get fucked for this year.

Oh, last year. Oh, wink. Wink. Fuck yeah. Yes. For last year. I mean, I would like to say I hit my one year sober last year. That's such a big achievement. That is huge. Because it doesn't feel possible. It doesn't really feel real. The fact that I have been drug free for a whole year when... My life for the last 10 years before that was like drug addict central. Yeah. That is wild. And it's a huge achievement.

Yeah, thank you. It's wild. But we got there, we made it. And also, I suppose, going through like the most insane heartbreak. of the year and like loads of stuff but like it's all good you know like it's definitely got a positive spin on it where it's like I needed I'm grateful that that happened. I needed that to happen. I needed to go through all of that pain and anguish.

So, yeah, very exciting. Very exciting to live my new life and be a new person and growth. Maybe a fuck year is growth. Yeah.

oh yeah that's a big achievement growth is my fuck yeah yeah some people will not be growing Some people just don't want to. That was me for, I swear to God, for 10 years, stagnating. I just stagnated. I didn't grow.

at all I was in therapy I did all the therapy work yeah I didn't fucking grow I didn't grow up and it's only now that I'm literally growing up I've grown up and I like can take all this shit on now without feeling upset or offended if someone brings something to me yeah which yeah that's huge it's a hard pill to swallow to grow pardon the pun pardon the pun sorry was that triggering Nah, nah, nah

I still have to pop pills. I've got that paracetamol, Dana's Arbaprofen. Oh, I just had my second worming tablet today. Oh, no more worms. Yes, no worms in 2026. That can get fucked. That can definitely get fucked. So my fuck yeah for 2025, it has to be getting pregnant, right? I was like, there's so many amazing things have happened this year. I've gotten married. Getting pregnant. There's so many. There's so many fuck yeahs. I mean.

yeah it's been a hard path for sure yeah but it's it's a great achievement and I'm also just very proud of myself for getting through All the things that I've gone through, like from the miscarriage to the first trimester of pregnancy, which is fucking hell. Living hell. Living hell. Like nausea all the time. Yeah. All the time. So tired. Oh, it was just, I don't, the fatigue is actually another level. Like I just can't even, there's like nothing you can do. I just couldn't.

do anything i was just depressed also didn't want to have sex didn't even want to be around my husband like i just i was just like leave me alone and like yeah I want to be just sitting in my misery. But yeah, you were miserable, like depressed for weeks.

yeah yeah so and then second trimester has like slowly been coming out of that which has been amazing i'm like so in love with my husband right now i think like i think there must be some other hormonal thing going on that's making that even more intense now Because I'm obsessed with him.

yeah yeah that's amazing yeah i wonder if it's like um your body's evolutionary like way to lock down and like get protection and and make sure that you are evolutionarily protect protected for you a baby yeah could be could be some crazy shit like that that's fascinating yeah I mean yeah you could just be fucking head over heels in love with him it's beautiful like maybe it's just real

Maybe. Maybe there's no fucking science involved. Maybe it's just real. It's just real love, guys. Maybe it's in the stars. Obviously. Yeah. beautiful so that's wild and i just i can't believe what 2026 is gonna hold i'm like scared excited jesus yeah I have no idea what this year is gonna hold for you. It's gonna be wild. You're gonna have a human baby child.

So as you know, Erica Luss has been sponsoring our podcast, which is honestly the most exciting thing in the world because we are so obsessed. So obsessed with her company, the ethical porn, the movies. Oh God, it's just all so delicious. So we're delighted to talk to you about some of our two favourite films that we've watched this week. And we actually asked our Patreon subscribers if they would vote.

on what category they wanted us to watch and comment on. And this week's was femdom. Oh my God. Hot. Yes, I was very, very happy for this homework.

So what did you watch, Reid? So Florence, I watched this incredibly hot film called Faithful Dogs. And it starts with a man kissing a man. I was literally like, oh my God. I was like screaming. And then moves into a bisexual female dumbing this male who basically gets transformed into like a human puppy.

A human dog. Yes. So he's got the muzzle. He's got the mitts. He's got a tail butt plug in him. And she's like making him, you know, eat out of a bowl and walk around with her. And she's like this gorgeous Dom looking creature. you know, in high heels, makes him sniff her and eat her pussy out and then...

She brings in the other man that he was kissing earlier to sit and watch as he's dominating him. And it's just so fucking hot. It's so hot. There's a moment where... she ends up pegging him and he's just got like the cutest little booty and these like delicious little like chat string fuck I can't remember what they're called.

Anyway, all of the sexy people out there listening, it's going to be screaming the name to me. I'll figure it out. And yeah, and then pegs him like a good little puppy. And then yeah, and then... He comes while lying on the floor while she's watching him. It's so hot. Love it. People really love femdom stuff. So I'm excited for us to like...

give you some of our reviews here um i watched a film called grief encounter did not know what to expect from that in terms of a sexy movie um but it's got evo in it obviously we've had her on the podcast before so i was like This will be really cool to see her in a film, see her in action. And it's such a beautiful film. I think it may have been shot in film or if it wasn't.

like the edit that they put on that the effect that they put on it was like really really real so I'm like maybe they did shoot it in film maybe I mean they have they have crazy good budgets over there. And if you've got a vision, they will help with the vision. Yeah. And so it starts off with her character basically saying that she seeks out people at funerals because they are...

ripe for a seduction it's so fucked up they're like super vulnerable I know oh no yeah I don't I don't know how I actually feel about the concept of that, but I can kind of see it's like it's kind of a cool femdom moment because it's like, oh, they're really vulnerable and I can kind of like. I mean, it's hot because it's forbidden. It's taboo. It's forbidden. Yes. That's why it's hot. It's very, it's not, it's not like a wedding. It's a funeral. So yeah, it's very forbidden. And it's.

it's just it's like an art piece this film as well because it starts um after that section where she's kind of oh she's like dressing like really slowly and seductively putting like gloves on tights on over her feet seat loads of like really close close-ups and then like you see everything and then it goes into like the funeral scene where she's basically at this funeral scoping out like who she's gonna fuck

And you see like all these close-ups of people crying. Yeah. It's just like... like every like everyone every age you know it's like every gender and it's just it's like oh my god this could be like in a gallery this looks so good like it was very like conceptual very avant-garde and then so once Once she's selected who she's going to fuck, it's this young man that has like a very like innocent looking face. Sounds like my kind of guy. Yeah.

And she just like, first of all, she just like makes him dance for her. But it's really interesting because you don't see him just dancing and you see like a montage of everyone at the funeral dancing for her. Oh, interesting. Yeah, or like... That's kind of cool. And then all the men. Yeah. Maybe I'm like, oh, maybe other people that she's...

done this to in the past kind of thing. So it kind of like goes back and forth between like these little montage clips of all these other people and then to her and this dude that she's just telling him what to do. She's like, he's eating her out.

and then she like rides him but then after riding him she like then lounges on like the chelange and yeah he's like complete and it was very hot she is a great performer she is so like seductive it's slow it's sexy and it's arty it's just beautiful it's a really beautiful film so if you're a fan of her Like you need, definitely need to go and watch it. And if you're a fan of like feet, there's also some good feet moments in it with the tights. Yeah.

yeah it was very hot i very much enjoyed it very much recommend and if you want to also check out these films we have an amazing discount for you it's 45 off with the code spicy S-P-I-C-Y 45. And you can use the link in the description.

yeah check it out get yourself an account treat yourself it is new years and you need to be watching good ethical porn films that don't make you feel shame they make you feel good they make you feel inspired yeah and I imagine you were treating loads of people over Christmas so you deserve to treat yourself too definitely get yourself a subscription that is spicy 45 for 45% off baby Happy New Year.

So get your journals out if you haven't already, because I really think that everyone should do their own fuck yeah and get fucked for 2020-25. Oh, Reid's got her journal out. Yes. I got my journal. I got my tickly pen. Yes. My tickle fetish pen with the feather on it. You have scarred me, Florence. I'm never going to fucking touch that pen again. Unbelievable. I said tinkly. I said tinkly. Oh, did you? Wow. The brain hears what it wants to hear, apparently. Fuck it out.

Also, I've got my journal, but I am not a journaler at all. And I saw something today that was saying that there's new research to show that instead of journaling, if you did the same thing by voice noting and doing it... audio form and sending it to somebody, then it works apparently 50%. better than handwriting and journaling I was like what the fuck so maybe this could be like a group activity note down all the questions and then do it with a friend

Yes. Yes. I mean, I feel like that's, you know, we have such good voice notes. We therapize each other all the time. We do that all the time. 100%. But if you do want to follow along with us, get your journals out and write down questions and pause it. And obviously we're going to be going into our own answers here as well.

yeah um i'm excited okay so the first question is define 2025 with one word i've got a word should i go first or do you want to go yeah you go first my word is surrender oh it's a big one surrender is a big word to use for a year but yeah i feel like for me so many different things happened with myself my body um that I couldn't control. And there were so many things that I thought and had expectations about that just couldn't.

couldn't be the way that I wanted it to be and there were so many expectations of what my body was going to be capable of what it was going to be experiencing that was just so far from the truth and I saw yeah I saw like a birthing experts page on Instagram and it was she was saying like what each of her births taught her and her word for this current birth her third pregnancy was surrender and I was like that is it to a t that is everything to a t when it comes to like

pregnancy loss, getting pregnant, the whole experience of it, even like, you know, the things that change with like your libido and the sex that you're having and your relationship, it's all this huge surrender for you and your partner, you know?

like everyone around you because you cannot fulfill the expectations that people previously had of you yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure and also like everyone's pregnancy is so different you know you'll be basing it off of all the stuff you've seen in movies what you've heard from friends or parents or whatever it is and it's just so different to what you're expecting. You kind of just have to surrender to your body.

So my initial reaction was patience. Like, this year has taught me patience. Like, I've never experienced before. Yeah. And it feels like... If I could throw in a second word, my mantra after my breakup was peace and patience. It was just... Which has actually really fucking helped me because as somebody who is... Often so quick to react on emotion and especially anger, especially when I was like an absolute crackhead.

I never really experienced patience. Also, as somebody who is anxious a lot of the time or has an anxious attachment, you want to fix everything immediately and you want to sort it out now and you feel like almost like this panicked. Well, it's urgency. That's literally it. It's a sense of urgency. And this year, I really feel like... I've been able to slow down and understand myself more and really practice patience. And it's paid the fuck off. Like thinking about.

all the arguments that I could have started or all the quick time responses or whatever it was, just being able to practice that patience and slow things down and giving myself time to really think about things, process. And even, you know, whether or not that means like minutes or whether that means literally days or saying to somebody, I'd like to talk about this, but I don't have capacity. Can we talk about it this time? Yeah. Like has been a game changer. So, yeah.

Patience. Yeah, that's awesome. Okay. What patterns keep showing up in your relationships this year and which ones are you ready to change? That's so deep. That is so deep. It's almost like too deep. Yeah, literally. I'm like, hmm. Like, I don't want to look. At my patterns, like, I'm perfect. It's everyone else's fault, man. I mean, I know at the start of the year, my avoidancy was at an all-time high because I got...

extremely scared of being vulnerable and being chosen in a relationship. And I was almost ready to sacrifice everything and leave it. all because I was so scared of actually being having what I wanted yeah basically yeah

So yeah, that was crazy. But it didn't keep showing up. It was just something that showed up. It was probably something that kept showing up in 2024. And then I... figured it out in 2025 yeah yep yep yep that makes sense well it's like yeah yeah sometimes it hits you directly in the face you're like oh fuck yeah and i'm so fucking happy that i Fought past all of those fears and avoidant tendencies. And yeah, basically, I'm really happy I went.

past the fear and accepted love because I am so happy in this relationship now I've never felt so secure so loved and like I said to my husband the other day, I was just like, isn't it so cool that we just have our person now? And we were just like in a hug. And I was just like, I just feel so safe. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah. That is beautiful. I love that, man. the one that's kind of like screaming to me is like being this.

hurt child this kind of like victim mentality that puts all the onus on my relationships to look after me to fix me to protect me And that puts so much pressure on the relationship, so it ends up destroying it. Yeah.

Nobody should be your savior and protector. I mean, it's okay having a protector, but somebody to bring you back from being a victim. And that's definitely been me for... a long time and I'm actually doing new therapy, doing new therapy to actually heal and work on my inner, my hurt inner child rather than relying on all these people to make me feel safe and secure and stronger.

A lot of people relate to that. I definitely relate to the victimhood thing. Yeah. Especially in arguments. And like, that's also like part of the fear, isn't it? Like, no, I'm always the victim here. So how can I be wrong? Yeah. And that's when you fuck up accountability because if you're like, but like, it's not, it's not my fault, you know, like, oh, it's because I've had a hard time growing up or, oh, it's because of the drug addiction or it's because of like...

Whatever it is. I was hurt in my last relationship. It just, it just keeps going. Yeah. And you never take accountability. It's hard to switch off and it's a very long process of learning with that one. That's something that I would love to bring into 2026 too. like really finesse yeah yeah I feel like I'm getting there with this new therapy like we're doing all this crazy inner child work where I'm literally

visualizing having all my, you know, like my younger versions of myself there and literally like parenting them and talking to them. It's crazy. Yeah, it's fucking powerful stuff. The first session, I just bawled my eyes out the entire time. And afterwards, I was like, I feel like a different person. It's crazy. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah.

The next question is, name which parts of yourself felt, oh, this was like a strange question. I don't understand it. What's it mean? Life expressed free. Okay, name which parts of yourself felt most alive, expressed, or free in 2025. I think when I went to Boomtown Sober. Nice. Yeah, like my...

favorite ever festival that I used to go to every fucking year and used to use it as an excuse to literally just get on it and stay fucked for five days straight. Yeah. And I loved that. And I was so terrified to go sober and I did it this year. I managed to go. And have the best fucking time. And I had an even better time going sober. Like, I remember it all. It was fucking magical. Yeah, it was a real turning point for me, I think. Yeah.

What about you, Florence? When you feel most alive, most free? Such a hard question for me this year because I feel like I've been through so much stuff that's been weighing me down. But I would say the day that... um I got married yeah it was just like that we were just both so elevated and it felt so it did it felt very freeing it felt very like um we're doing this we're in control and

We just, yeah, it was such a lovely day. Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful, Florence. Very beautiful. That's so beautiful. Yeah. Love it. What version of yourself are you grieving at this year ends and why?

At this year ends. Sounds like a pub's name. As this year ends. New resolution, get better reading. Okay. So something that I've been grieving a lot, and this has come up for me when I came to the decision that I need to sell my car. is this like sudden realization of who i'm leaving behind and this oh my god don't get emotional this is like so hard um

Because there are so many memories in that car and that car was freedom for me. And it was like, it was the symbol of me making this crazy change for myself, my independence. Moving to America. it oh god and it's just like so many things happened in that car you know like the people that i've met the friends that i've made like just the freedom that i felt driving around like in a convertible mustang in america

and just like living the dream, like literally living the dream. And obviously my uncle, God bless him, has made that dream come true by helping me with that car. And I was so reluctant to sell this car because I just didn't want to, probably didn't want to let go of that person also because I am changing. And I don't think I was really fully believing that that was going to happen. Yeah, you weren't prepared. You were just like, I'll just be able to have a kid and a car. I can do both.

Yeah. But then I'm like, actually, that's a selfish decision, you know, to be spending that money on something that I don't need anymore when I could be spending on things for my children, my family, like that part of my life. um so yeah it was yeah i was like okay i have to be practical i have to be a mom i have like i have to be a mom now i have to like take care of my family

Like it's not about me anymore. Yeah, absolutely. I feel like there was a part of you that was ready, you know, like when you were talking about it, you're like, it is so impractical, you know, it's not comfortable. But like. I don't think you were, you know, like it was, it kind of just like sprung upon you like, Oh my God, I have to do this. Like, I don't want to do this. It was like, don't make me do this.

yeah it came and then suddenly when I started thinking about it I was like oh my god this is the right decision and that also made me feel so sad because it was just like letting so many things go i had a really good chat with my therapist about it all and she said she did exactly the same thing she had a sporty two-seater vintage car had to be sold when she had her kids

Your mum did the same thing. My mum did the same thing. My mum did exactly the same thing. Mums be sacrificing for their families and we have to love them for that because they leave a part of themselves behind. Yeah, these sexy, independent, like, sports car loving women suddenly get a child and they're like, oh, fuck. yeah but i have like i've also decided what new car i want and i'm like i'm happy with the choice i'm excited for the choice

Oh my God, please send me. I need to, I need to see this car. I mean, it's not that exciting. I'm just going to get a Subaru Forester. So yeah, it's a big, it's like an SUV. The gay one. Yeah. The Lesbo car. I was like, yes. Shout out for the buy side. Yeah. you gotta get it yeah shout it loud and proud I'm a bisexual mama you see beautiful

But yeah, it's like an adventurer, also like four wheel drive, kind of like fits the dogs and the baby and everyone. And I'm like, this car will bring us so much joy. Yeah, that's so exciting. Yeah. Changing, changing like what could be a very painful negative into a positive.

And using it as a chance to like reminisce on my old memories, like you moving to LA and then just like me coming to visit you in your car. I would have dreams about your car. I feel like my car means so much to so many people.

It was everything. It's like literally the depiction of seeing you in LA. You come picking me up from the airport. We got the roof down. We're blasting music. We're having the best time. Oh my God, we had the best time in that car, Reid. Yeah, it was some good fucking times. God, this is... No!

I've been talking about it. I don't know if you've seen my chin wobble on Patreon and I've got watery eyes. I'm really trying to keep it together. I got the spicy eyes. I'm joining you with spicy eyes. It is sad. It feels like an end of a... of an age, but it's not like, it's not the end. It's a transition into new. It's like something new and exciting. I think, I mean, I would like to say like my, my.

druggy self but I've already grieved that part of me you know that was like yeah I think that was definitely the year before. So maybe grieving my hurt child or my hurt, like my traumatic past, instead of letting that define me. because it did it definitely did for the past fucking year um very much more kind of being like okay this is this as horrible as that situation was like this has created me to be the person i am today the reasons why I've been the way that I am.

But not using it as an excuse, more just like, OK, this, you know, like child sexual assault happens to loads of people and I can turn this into a positive. And I have turned it into a positive. I've spoken about it online. I've helped speak to others. And it's been a huge part of how and why I figured out why I was so heavily addicted to drugs because I was running away from pain, pain that I didn't even know existed. So yeah, grieving, kind of grieving the hurt.

scared, broken in exclamation marks, child inside of me. And now like, you know, moving into growth, moving into my mature adult self. So yeah. yeah i love that answer that's yeah that makes a lot of sense and it's it's a good part to let go of Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm no longer using it as a motherfucking excuse. Absolutely not. Like, oh, I was amused as a child. No. Absolutely not.

That's not taking accountability. Go back to 2025. It's not welcome. It's not welcome anymore. What evolved for you this year in your relationship to sex, intimacy or love? with yourself or others? What evolved? I guess that would be like, you know, what kind of things you've learnt. during sex, about yourself, like maybe about masturbation, about what habits you have, or like what sexual desires you're seeking.

What kind of like, you know, if you've gone through a revelation of, oh my God, I want like more, I want to be pegged more, for example. That could be. That could be really delicious for love, man. There's just too much in that question. Yeah, there's some really good examples of things that could have changed in your intimacy.

If you needed some help with your journaling there, we're just going to flick through some of these questions so you can get them down. Feel free to pause if you need more time. Which need have you been ignoring during sex or intimacy? That was super interesting. That was such a good one. That is super interesting. I feel like I've been ignoring my kinky self and just had like a lot of just boring...

No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Let me rephrase. Not boring. I'm so sorry, everyone. Come on. Pointy. Yes, yes. Very... oh I can't say that either just very just like blowjobs and sex sex like I want kink I want fucked up kink I want fucked up scenes and that's what I'm gonna get for this year yes I

I feel like I could answer the same thing. I feel like I have not indulged in my kinky side at all. I should get into some mummy dom stuff like whilst I'm like fully pregnant. Yeah, man. Ultimate role play. Yeah, I need to do it. I need to do it for... I need to do it for my marriage. Yeah, exactly. Do it for your purse. Do it for your marriage. Yeah. Do it for your son, Florence. The happiness of your son.

Oh my God, what? Don't make this weird. Yeah, that was weird. That ended up having too many layers. Nah, that was weird. That was so unintentional. Okay. The next question is, where do you still perform, people please, or abandon yourself in intimacy? I love, I love that question. Where do you still perform and where do you people please? Like, I feel like that's such a good question.

Yes. Also, it could be the same answer as the last one in a different way. If you're abandoning your kink, if you're abandoning the things that you actually need to feel pleasure. or if you're not masturbating enough, not enough self-love and all of that stuff. Um, people pleasing is a, is a strange one. A lot of people do people please in sex. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I definitely people pleasing sex. A great example was that Russian guy that I got worms from was giving him head.

him telling me he doesn't eat pussy and then me still choosing to eat his ass that was although actually okay no let me rephrase because I actually did want to eat his ass that wasn't people pleasing that was genuine But me continuing the blowjob, I think that was people pleasing. Yes. Yeah. And then I got ones for it. I don't think I really people please that much during sex. I probably don't people please enough during sex. But I feel like that's good. That's boundaries.

Yeah, but sometimes I feel like even, you know, you need to actually do compromise sometimes and perform a little. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially if you're just like, well, you've just gone down on me loads and I don't really want to do the same. But it's okay. Compromising is being like, I don't really feel like it now, but can I do that for you later or another time? Yeah, exactly.

Okay, what is the next question, Reid? What does your body want more of and less of when it comes to touch, sex and closeness? I want more nipple sucking, please. Yeah. I will second that. Yes. Yeah, that is hot. I want really intense, kinky fucking, like not foreplay. I want pee in V or dildo in V or fingers in V. Yes. I want pounding. yes yes thank you i feel like other than oral sex actually i will say that i would like more pussy eating oh okay and i but i also compromise i do have to then

you know, give a little back in that area. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, it's just equality. Unless you were the partner that all they want to do is go down on you and they don't really care about their receiving, then that's fair enough. Yeah, for sure. The next question is... If you could describe 2025 as a kink, what would it be? And what did it teach you about yourself? What would you describe? What would the kink be for 2025?

The breeding kink. The breeding kink! That's perfect. That's fucking perfect. Yes. Yes. Okay, is it really wrong? I can't say that. That's actually so fucked up. All I can think of is... pegged like last year just was pegging just all of it was pegging yeah yeah yeah i got pegged definitely i pegged what did it did that teach you anything about yourself

peace and patience Florence that's what it taught me it taught me peace and patience I don't know what Breeding King taught me about myself apart from the fact that I wanted to have a baby yeah yeah

How do you want your kink life to evolve in 2026? Emotionally, physically and energetically. Think about those things. How do you want your kink life to evolve? Where do you want to go? Where do you want to, what do you want to try? What's the new thing for you this year with kink? Yeah, mine's definitely mummy dom.

Lactation. Oh my God. As soon as I'm lactating, you know what we're going to be getting up to. Florence, can I taste your milk, please? When I next see you. You can put it in a glass. Well. Yeah, in a glass. I will give you some in a glass. I think at the front of the nipple might be a bit weird for me. Maybe by then it actually wouldn't be weird, you know? Yeah, because I'm so used to having the baby sucking for me.

And then suddenly you look down and there's like my adult face sucking your tic, getting your milk. And it's not my husband. It's not your husband. It's not your child. It's just not weird, you know? It's just weird. It's normal, yeah. It's like, thanks, mum. Cool. What version of yourself are you ready to step into this year? And what must you release to get there? What are you going to release? Oh my God. What are you getting rid of? What are you shedding?

Oh my God. I mean, it just brings up already like past relationships that, that aren't meant to be for now. Yeah. And I want to say that very carefully because you never know what happens in the future, but definitely... shedding relationships and just like grieving that process of being like, I'm not the same person I was. They're not the same person that they were. This, this wasn't working out. This isn't going to work out. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much fucking.

accountability and patience you have, it still doesn't work. Yeah. yeah that is so true i would just say like i really want to like let go of the fears that i have around motherhood and the changes that are happening because there are some very deep-seated like can I actually do this? Kind of like, am I going to be good enough? Like my, my whole, like, am I good enough stuff? It very highly like waves into motherhood and like.

yeah seeing baby stuff and just being like oh my god am i actually gonna be able to do that like what the hell but you just will i know it's like a natural part everyone is it's fucking hard and you just do it yeah um so yeah i'm ready to kind of release the fear I guess around that and the not feeling good enough to step into being good enough yeah that's

That's so interesting that it's like brought up a real deep core belief. Yeah. Something that you never think would like rear its head, but it has with childhood. That's so crazy.

Yeah, wild, right? And this is a cute one. If you could design your perfect date with yourself, what would it look like? Nice. And then do it. And then do the date. And then actually do it. And then do it. And the next question is, what boundaries, desires or truths need to be voiced more clearly in your relationships this year? This is a really good one to... like sit down and really dig deep with yeah like how fucking dare you like how dare you ask me a question like that that's crazy

Bringing this up in January. Yeah. Yeah. Showing me what's so hard to do. Boundaries are so fucking hard. They are. Jesus. Because they're sneaky as well. People do overuse them as well. So you've got to like... You've got to like actually be accountable. That's where the accountability comes in.

Accountable. Yeah. And also boundaries. And I'm learning this. Boundaries aren't rigid. Boundaries can be flexible. Boundaries can move. You can learn. You can change. Your boundaries can move and change as you. grow especially if your boundary directly you know like somebody your partner directly hits your boundary you know you have to find compromise somewhere this would be such a nice question to do like with your partner

I like the word truths. The truths that need to be voiced more. I think that's, that's pretty. Yeah. Cause sometimes we just keep a little too silent in our relationships and that's what ends up really destroying them. Yeah. The silent resentment. Yeah. Yeah. And it happens. It happens like we, we, we've done that for years, you know, we've gone through that. Yeah.

And then we had to do the hard part of like ripping it all out. And now we've got to a point where we're pretty good at it. We can bring up stuff and just chat about it. And sure, it's still uncomfortable, but it always will be. It's not about being afraid of that discomfort and knowing that it will always be better in the end. Once you air it out. If self-worth were the foundation of everything you built in 2026, what would change regarding your choices around loving and fucking?

Oh, yeah. It's a good way to round up. Thinking about your self-worth, what would you change regarding love, the love that you give and the love that you receive, and also how you fuck? So... Think about the self-worth, the self-love. What would you change within your relationships, within your dates, within your fucks, like intimacy?

I would say that one thing that really helped me in my relationship was loving how I want to be loved. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Accepting somebody's love, even if it's not necessarily the way that you... feel like you need to receive love or want to receive love. Yeah. Accepting somebody else's love in their way. Yeah.

and help it like letting that also fulfill your own self-worth yes you know letting that sink in as love like literally like this pumpkin pie you know like usually that would have been like oh you know like not really a thing but i now know that that is so a huge part of my husband's love language that he like brings me like a snack whilst I'm doing the podcast or like in a meeting or like whatever and it's so cute yeah it's very very cute

Okay. So the last question for our journals is taking every reflection into consideration. What is your word for 2026? Ooh. We have to think of a word for the new year. Okay, okay, okay. Let's go. I mean, oh, that's so hard because I like really love the word surrender. That was 2025. You can't use the same word. I mean, I guess my word for 2026 is motherhood and really just like feeling that being that and that's, I mean, I've got to encompass that word.

and what it means to everybody in so many different forms. I think mine's going to be peace. That's the same word that you had in 2025 too. Yeah, but I kind of cheated because I picked two words. I said patience, but my mantra was peace and patience. Because I'm trying to practice. Oh, right. Okay, wait, what's a better word? Because I don't love the word peace. It still brings up something for me.

um like there's a resistance to it but maybe that's why it should be yeah maybe the word like trust or um Oh, yeah, I think last year mine was Trust. Yeah, I think mine was Trust last year. Oh, well, who knows? One of ours. Maybe it's both, I don't know. It might be both. Maybe like... All I can think of is chill. Like chill the fuck out. Chill out, bitch. Yeah. Like that's how I imagine. Just chill. Just, you know, no longer.

lean into the chaos in an unhealthy way you can appreciate chaos but when it's like all you ever strive for and all you ever want yeah and and chill feels uncomfortable and boring and slow, I would really like to practice being able to just be. Yeah. I've really been enjoying all like the star sign astrology stuff for like the old year and the new year. I feel like it's, it's quite like inspirational and, you know, I guess reflective.

in terms of the last year as well and obviously we're going into the year of the horse we're shedding the snake skin in the year of the snake and coming into the other horse so like no way what does that mean for you also yeah I was born the year of the horse, so maybe it's like a rebirth, but I feel like that's such an easy one. Your whole word could be rebirth. No, I didn't. I thought of it and I was like, no, it can't be rebirth. Please, no. I don't want a rebirth. No.

I've rebirthed enough. Maybe mine's rebirth and yours is birth. Yeah. Yeah, literally. Yeah, fuck. Oh, man. Okay. Well, those were really fucking awesome questions. Like, definitely got us in the emojis in there. Yeah, man. It was your fucking Mustang, bro.

I don't know what it is about the car stuff that makes me so emotional. It's like, it can't just be the car. It must be so much more than that. I think you're right. I think it's grieving. It's literal grieving. Grieving herself. Okay, let's...

Let's round this episode up because we've been talking for a very long time because there was so much to unpack and reflect on and think about for 2026. I'm so excited.

For this year, 2026, it's going to be incredible and life-changing. Yes. Yeah, the whole world is going to shift. So yeah, what is this year going to be for you? Yeah, well... fuck firstly i'm going traveling which is crazy yes this is like this is so on you as well like you already are like this is a rebirth like what excuse me rebirth is that like book is it? Yeah.

Yeah, going traveling Southeast Asia. So going to be out there for a few months and we're trying to figure out Come Curious and what we're doing in the process. Obviously, we've backlogged and recorded a lot of episodes. Yeah, we've been a lot of pre-recording. Yeah, it's been a lot of work this side of the year. Other side of the last side of the year. And also the next time I see you, Florence, I think like you'll have a baby. Yeah.

This is fucking crazy. I know. Jesus Christ. I know. It's actually wild. That's wild. That is wild. Yeah. What about you, Florence? What's up? What's coming up for you this year? Everyone knows what's coming up. I'm just literally going to be, well, you know what? I'm going to make the most of pregnancy. I'm directing a Erica Loss film in January. Don't know when it will be out. With King Noir and his wife, setting Jasmine, who will hopefully get on the podcast.

cast both together as well um so yeah it's going to be really cool to do that and yeah make the most of my freedom during the last uh months of this pregnancy and then just accept surrender and be at one with the motherhood journey motherhood and husband and wifehood yes family life in it yeah family life family unit

Curious fuckers, if you've loved this episode, please send it to your friends, your family, send it to your loved ones, anyone that you think might benefit from doing this at the beginning of the year. Yeah. Yeah, we would love to. I feel really good after doing that myself. Like I feel like the curious fuckers will feel very like good.

so much reflection i just fucking love reflecting i think it's just like learn you learn so much when you reflect don't be afraid of the reflecty voice it is scary it is scary to reflect so it is yeah Because people don't want to take accountability. Basically. Yeah. Loops round right to the beginning of the episode. Yeah.

always bringing it back so curious fuckers if you love this episode obviously share it far and wide leave a rating and a review because it really does help get this podcast into more people's ears and i really do think this is worth listening to Yeah. And of course, if you want to keep up to date with what we're doing over the next few months, you can follow us on Come Curious, as well as our personal accounts at Read Amber X and Florence Bark.

yes and support us on our patreon if we haven't we haven't mentioned that enough in this episode um we really really like love and uh so grateful um for your support on our patreon because it helps keep the podcast running it really does it helps us pay our team and yeah keeps things moving and working we couldn't do this without you curious fuckers so So yeah, it'd be amazing to see you over on our Patreon. Yeah, absolutely. And of course, yeah, this is it.

See you next Thursday. See you next Thursday. Yeah. Bye. Yeah. Bye. Bye. Shit. We're not ready to go. Suddenly like, oh, fuck. Okay. It's over. It's time to hit reset, not the snooze button reset, the crank it up, start fresh, go big reset.

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