¶ Introduction to Positive Intelligence Series Finale
Hey , welcome to the Coaching Minds podcast , the official podcast of Mental Training Club . We help coaches and athletes perform at their best when it matters the most . Today , Brenna , welcome back for a third episode , our final dive into positive intelligence . Appreciate you being back on the show .
Yeah , thank you so much , so excited to be here again and wrap up the series today .
Yeah , thank you so much , so excited to be here again and wrap up the series today . So quick recap . You know , obviously we've got the sage and the saboteur . Give us a quick refresh of how those show up in daily life .
And before you answer that , if you have no idea what those two things are , I would encourage you pause this episode , go back two and listen to episode number one about this book , positive Intelligence . So , brenna , take us back , ground us a little bit , remind us about the sage and saboteur .
Yeah , so positive intelligence is based on this idea that we have these two opposing forces in our mind . So our sage is that wiser , calmer part , the more grounding thoughts that we have , practices of gratitude . And then we have these saboteurs , the ones that are telling us that we can't do things .
Things are hard , other people suck , our circumstances suck , and so positive intelligence is that constant war back and forth and taking control of our thoughts and making them work for us .
And why remind us again to why was this idea of controlling your thoughts such a game changer for you , and I guess you know why . Why is the idea of a saboteur and a sage different than just let's speak positive to ourselves , which I think sometimes gets a bad rap ?
Yeah , so this idea of positive intelligence was huge for me as a college athlete . It really helped me take control of my own performances instead of falling victim to them .
Moving into part three and the sage perspective . I absolutely love that phrase . All your distress is self-generated . That is so huge . What's that really mean ? Why is that so empowering ?
It's so empowering because , as humans , we all experience the same life , but it's our interpretation of it that gives it that emotional meaning ,
¶ Recap of Sage vs. Saboteur Mindsets
and so we have the control to apply meaning to what we're encountering and make it work for us , or just add to our own stress , anger , guilt , shame , which results in just a negative quality of life when it comes to athletics and negative performance . Negative quality of life when it comes to athletics and negative performance .
Yeah , if I was to go through every single athlete that I've ever worked with individually , I can probably think of two who were really distressed by things that were not kind of self-generated you know , and both of them there were some terrible , horrible life altering events that had occurred that you know that was a little bit outside of their control .
One of them I actually ended up , you know , saying hey , why don't you go meet with more of like a therapist ? Counselor type of person that's a little bit more what you're looking for . Counselor type of person , that's a little bit more what you're looking for .
Every other athlete , every single one the big stressors or the biggest source of distress in their life , is usually worrying about things that are not within their control . Can you think of a shift , maybe in your own life when you started looking at challenges through the SAGE perspective ?
Yeah . So a shift really came for me when I learned what the SAGE perspective was , which , again , that SAGE perspective is the wiser part , that believes that every challenge is a gift and an opportunity and you have to focus on accepting what is , as opposed to rejecting or denying or resenting it .
So it's the idea of activating the sage , because sometimes I feel like positivity and happiness get this like bad rep of just like , oh , just let it go , like just be happy . Well , that's not it at all . It's a conscious choice to activate this sage perspective of your brain and you actually have to shift your mindset .
So you have to consciously choose to look at a situation and then the best way to activate your sage is what we call this three gifts technique . So you look at your challenge and then you apply three positives to that challenge , your challenge and then you apply three positives to that challenge .
For an example , as an athlete say , I fell on my major release , move on bars at a meet . Immediate response is anger , resentment , judgment , all negative feelings .
But if I were to apply this three gifts technique and activate my sage , what I might be able to understand is that I got a better understanding of how my adrenaline affects my timing on my release point . I get an opportunity to model composure after a fall for my teammates maybe younger siblings or anybody else that might be watching me .
And then a third gift could be I get the opportunity to rely on my teammates to support me through that , building more meaningful connections . So it really helps me look at these at the time what seems like life ending mistakes and be like . you know what it's okay Like yes , things can come through in a positive way .
Yeah , absolutely , and I think just the idea that all of these things are potentially an opportunity for you to learn from this , grow from this , absolutely . What would you say to someone who's listening to this ? That's like okay , but sometimes things are just bad .
I would challenge them . I ask why Like ? Why do you feel it's always bad ? And I would really really hone in on the opportunity . That word opportunity is the key for this three gifts technique and the sage perspective , because it's a choice whether or not we choose to learn , accept and move past our mistakes .
So you can sit in your misery , but that's your choice .
Yeah , I love that . All right , so there were five sage powers and obviously we're not going to do a deep dive into all of them . If people want that , they can read the book for themselves , but take us through kind of just maybe a quick overview what . What are we talking about when we say there's these five sage powers ?
Yeah . So , um , to activate our sage . I mentioned that three gifts technique , but there's also five powers that our sage is really , really helpful , um , in supporting us through challenging situations . So not all circumstances require all powers and each of them have a time and place . So the five are empathize , explore , innovate , navigate and activate .
So just to briefly run through them , empathizing so empathizing with yourself and others really allows you to take a different perspective on circumstances in general . What I really love about this activation strategy is the game involved with it , which is called visualize the child .
So if you're ever really frustrated with yourself or with another person , visualize yourself as a child and how you might feel , or that person as a child . Going back to that bar example , if I fell in this major release move , I'm like Brenna , I can't believe you did that .
I like to think of little four-year-old Brenna who's like oh my gosh , you made it to college . That's so cool , really shifting that mindset for yourself and then moving on to explore , which is that . Second power is all about curiosity , and it's really important when we talk about curiosity that it's objective and not subjective .
We have to remove the emotion from how we judge circumstances and I don't mean to use the word judge , because the judge is our negative character in this story , but really just being open and wondering about how things came to be in your current challenge or how they might be in the future , and that kind of leads into that third strategy , which is innovate .
So you looked at your situation , you kind of gather data on it and now it's
¶ The SAGE Perspective & Three Gifts Technique
the time to generate strategies , because as athletes , it's not like you fall on a routine and then you're like , oh , that's okay , we'll just get over it , like you need to be an active member in that you know what's your game plan going forward .
And I feel a lot of that relates back to MTP and how we we do like that top down , bottom up processing of how is my body feeling ? What key words and phrases do I need to use next time ?
Um , I think this one from the from the coach perspective . This one is huge . Like if our athletes don't screw up , I'm just . I'm just thinking about , like football practice , if our quarterback never throws an interception all summer , if our quarterback never makes a bad pass , what , what in the world am I , am I supposed to be helping him with ?
like if we're not .
If we're not trying to push that envelope and be aggressive and make plays and get after it a little bit and then realize , okay , I've now found a limit for myself , I probably I can't get . You know , I can't get that greedy trying to , trying to dart that pass in there or whatever . Whatever that looks like in your sport , it's like then .
Then we don't have a chance to think outside the box a little bit , to really question am I preparing my athletes for everything they're going to face ? Are there any situations I wasn't ready for ? How are other teams , you know , how are other teams maybe going to make adjustments that they've never shown on film ?
And so now I'm going to need to think outside the box a little . I just I think that athletes get so stuck on this need to be perfect that it's like guys , this is a , this is a great opportunity .
Yeah , and that's like a huge skill in so many sports . It's you train the routine right , you run the play , but does it ever look like that when it comes time to do it ?
No , you have to be able to be flexible and willing to to navigate that situation , which brings us into the fourth power navigate I see what you did there yeah , I love , love , love this strategy , um , and a great exercise to practice this , especially with the , is the point to your true north activity . So you have your whole team close their eyes .
You say , point north . And then you're going to have people point in all over the place , up down sideways , and you tell them to open their eyes and when they open their eyes , they're all looking in different directions .
And the metaphor here is you need to be able to identify your true north so when faced with challenging situations or when you feel like you get off track , you know where you're going to get back on track . For me in my life , my values are faith , family , fitness , future Anything I do needs to align with those values in that order .
Future Anything I do needs to align with those values in that order . And so that has been my true north is always being able to fall back on my values . And then our last strategy is activate , which again debunks this idea that sage is passive .
It takes pure action , with the removal of any judgment and emotion , to move into action , to put your innovative plan , your curiosities , your values into practice .
Love that . And I think this is again where , when I've run into maybe some parents who don't realize it , but the parent is the source for a lot of this anxiety , this need to be perfect , this inability to deal with failure in the life of their child , and we have , you know , some sort of conversation about that .
It's like , well , if I don't , you know , if I don't help them see that this is a big deal and apply a little bit of pressure , then you know they're just going to settle for being mediocre and I love that they do a good job . I think in the book of talking about how the sage is not passive , we are not just , it is not just .
Let's feel positive and let's be okay with the failure . Instead , instead of beating ourselves up , we're going to empathize a little bit with the fact that you know what we failed . We certainly didn't mean to .
We're going to need to do a little bit better job , but we also don't need to crush ourselves or the people we're coaching job , but we also don't need to crush ourselves or the people we're coaching . We're going to .
You know , there was some , there was some failure , so now we're going to explore , we're going to have a little bit of openness , maybe some more discover , like are there ways that I'm not preparing my athletes well enough ? The , the innovation , what am I ? What am I going to do ?
You know , maybe the existing ideas just aren't cutting it and so we need a new way to train in these areas that we're coming up short . And you know the navigate , finding alignment . I love that you brought up your values .
I think , as an athletic team , if we don't have those , that's a problem , because then , just like you said , with the example of True North , where the athletes close their eyes , if we did that same thing with the coaches and said , point north , and we look around and everybody's pointing different directions , I think that's a problem .
So how are we getting in alignment ? And then man that activate like let's go , get to work , let's preempt the saboteurs , let's I ? Just I don't . I don't know where the misconception of inactivity comes from .
I think a lot of it comes from you can't see your brain muscles . As athletes , we like to see our performance . You lift weights and you see your muscles grow . You can watch your performance , but our brain is such an inside game that it takes internal effort and work as an athlete .
Though the great thing about the stage perspective is that there's a training plan , which is our third strategy , building your PQ muscles . So , again , it's not passive . We have this strategy for actually training . So to move into that strategy , we first need
¶ Five Sage Powers for Mental Resilience
to understand the two aspects of our brain , which is the survivor brain versus our PQ brain . So survivor brain , just to be brief , is that left side of our brain which is the survivor brain versus our PQ brain .
So survivor brain , just to be brief , is that left side of the brain that declares everything is bad and , as a result , is a cycle of negative reinforcement . It's the one that's heavily judging circumstances . Then we have our PQ brain , which is on the right side of our brain Most typically . It also involves the empathy circuit and our middle prefront .
Typically it also involves the empathy circuit and our middle prefrontal cortex , just really emphasizing curiosity and wonder and empathy , those sage feelings , and so the left brain handles the details of day-to-day lives , whereas the right brain enables us to thrive in a life rich with relationships , curiosity , and discover joy and meaning .
And so to strengthen these PQ muscles , you need to train them as you would any other muscle which we call a PQ rep , which , ben , makes me think a lot about that FMR that you talk about in the focus cycle of like bringing this conscious effort to your body and then allowing that relaxation piece yeah , and that's , you know , trying to trying to take all that
we know about the human brain and then simplify into left , right , but it's .
But I . But I love , I love the ability to , to simplify and make it a little bit easier to understand . Like you know , in in my book I talk about the , the lower , the lower part of the brain , the middle part of the brain and the top part of the brain .
You know , obviously , again , that's a super oversimplification , but you know , the lower part of the brain is just going to do some things automatically and then we're going to , as a result of that reaction to oh , I don't like this , this is an uncomfortable situation . That middle part of the brain , that amygdala , is now where fight or flight gets kicked off .
And so , you know , heart rate increases , breathing increases , butterflies in the stomach , all the major organs that are connected on that vagus nerve are basically now saying , oh no , what do we do ? And you can use that top part and that front part of your brain to take back control of your breathing .
You don't have to let that lower part do it automatically . And it's the . It's the same thing again with the , the muscle tension or muscle shakiness , even if you're going to let the lower part of your brain dictate that , then you're kind of at the mercy of your reactions .
And so you know , using the FMR , like you said , to sort of take back control is certainly a positive thing to do and can be helpful . And so you know , then again , I've said all along , I feel like this book kind of does a deeper dive into some of the parts of what we teach .
So , for example , he now breaks up that top part and that front part of the brain into the right and to the left .
Talk to us a little bit about you know , why does this matter to just the everyday athlete who's trying to set some goals , is trying to accomplish dreams , is trying to improve their performance and ultimately , you know , get their performance to this , to this level of success in their mind .
Yeah . So this matters because happiness and joy and contentment is an inside game , literally and neurochemically . It is an inside game that you need to take control of and performance is the byproduct of the mental game that goes into that performance . So your body is ready .
As athletes , we train effortlessly , doing our repetitions , running our plays , doing our routines , but that can all be sabotaged in an instant if our mind's not right and it's not ready .
Yeah , so let's move into kind of the components of the PQ brain , you know , the middle prefrontal cortex , the empathy circuit , the right brain . I love this . I love this idea that happiness is an inside game . How do you tap into that practically on a stressful day ?
Yeah , so what we need to do is we call it a PQ rep . So , just like I mentioned , we need to train our brains , just like we train our muscles . And so we do what's called a PQ rep , which involves bringing awareness to one of your five senses , 10 seconds at a time , which is about three breaths , and so one of our five senses .
You could choose to listen for the different birds chirping outside . You could wiggle your toes in your shoes , you could see how your stomach feels when you really breathe out all the way to expansion .
But what you need to do is get out of your brain and into your body , which sounds silly when we're talking about building mental resilience , but by doing this , you are releasing the judgment of those thoughts and then really tuning in to how you're feeling , to offer better control and activating those different regions of your brain .
Which , neurologically I mean science backs up . We can only focus on one thing at a time . So if I'm having a panic attack and instead I start paying attention to my breathing , I start paying attention to something else . You know that's that's going to shift that focus away from that we talk about with golfers all the time .
Look , if you're headed up to a , to a tee box , let's say it's the first tee box , it's the sectional or the regional or a state championship or whatever tournament . And you've got this voice in the back of your mind going I just I don't know if I'm good enough to do this .
I don't know if I'm going to be able to compete with these girls that I'm paired up with today . And you've got all this negative self-talk and you've got all this junk going on inside of your head and you don't feel like you have what it takes and you're not expecting to be successful .
The science says your performance goes down in literally every sport that they've ever studied , including weightlifting
¶ PQ Brain vs. Survivor Brain
and running distances and things like that . So if , instead of that , you were to just think about unicorns and cupcakes , your performance would be better , because it's at least not going down .
You're at least not detracting from your ability to perform , with negative expectations , assuming negative outcomes , decreasing your ability to access muscle memory , like you're at least not making it worse , but then , on the other hand , like if you and this is where you know I I like to , I like to use the the go-to statement and have athletes like remind
themselves of the time they put in and the work that they've put in and why they've earned the right to be confident . And now , instead of just not detracting , now we're changing our expectations . Now we're feeling a little bit more confident .
Now we're moving things in a positive direction , which the research shows in darts , shooting free throws , running distances , lifting certain amounts of weights is going to increase your performance .
And so what I think the brilliance of this book is is , every time you start to feel , those negative thoughts come in , whether you're at practice or not at practice , you're essentially training your brain and rewiring those neural pathways to , instead of freaking out and having a panic attack and thinking about worst case scenarios Like let's improve our PQ .
Let's improve our ability to stay a little bit more positive PQ , let's improve our ability to stay a little bit more positive . Talk about some of the other examples of how you can get PQ reps that they talk about in the book , and maybe even were there some that were more effective for you .
Yeah . So there is tons of opportunity throughout every single day for you to get PQ reps in . The goal is 100 a day day , um , so a hundred different opportunities of 10 seconds of focus . You have more than enough time in a day , um . So some examples are like daily routines when you're brushing your teeth , really feel how the brush will feel in your teeth .
Or using hot water or cold water , um . Physical exercise this is my favorite . When I run , I like to choose a song that I can match my right foot to . When I run , I hit the beat on my right foot and by doing that I'm out of my body or out of my mind into my body , and what I'm able to find is that I fatigue slower . It's more enjoyable .
I pace faster . So using those kinds of techniques for me during working out has been really helpful . Other things eating , like the flavor of it , the again , temperature Is it crunchy , squishy ? Really being in tune to that experience . Listening to music , like I mentioned , like maybe there's a backtrack or a harmony in the back that you never noticed before .
Bring your attention to that . Sit with that feeling . Playing sports , being outside , feel the breeze on your face , allow yourself to separate from the game just for 10 seconds from the game , the practice to really allow yourself to ground into that moment you're in and remind yourself and your body that you are safe and in control .
And then I love this one too , being with loved ones , like next time you're with a loved one and you hug them , really hug them . See how their body feels , can you hear their heartbeat ? What perfume or cologne are they wearing ?
Really be into that moment and what I find with practicing PQ is that I have a lot more meaningful experiences , because I'm intentionally bringing awareness to the different details and details that maybe we just gloss over than previously before .
Yeah , I love that . Everything about that and you know , also , just practicing being in the moment and how many athletes , how many humans have can relate to .
When something's on our mind , when something's eating away at us , when something's weighing heavy , whether it's at work , whether it's at school , whether it's with spouse , boyfriend , girlfriend , whether it's with a kid , whether , like when , when there is weight on our shoulders , we a lot of times just ruminate that , ruminate on that all day long and it's exhausting
and it eats away at confidence , it eats away at our peace , it eats away at our contentment and our confidence and all of these things and all these PQ reps basically shift your focus off of that and retrain your brain . I love the idea when they talked about anytime you feel yourself starting to go down that negative path , then that's a great reminder .
Hey , let's get some PQ reps . Hey , let's say my go-to statement . Hey , let's do my breathing . Hey , let's you know something with music or being present in the moment , or the physical things that you were talking about , the brushing your teeth , the five senses , like I , I just I love this idea of changing how we're going to go about our daily life .
Yeah
¶ Building PQ Muscles Through Daily Practice
, absolutely .
Talk to us about maybe so , so we've got . We've got this goal , this plan , this whatever to you know , maybe during he talks about like during a bathroom break , or doing during some time that you're going to have every day , like getting ready in the morning or , you know , brushing your teeth at night .
What's the what's the hardest part about maybe , building this new habit ? Remembering them . How do you remember to do these ?
Yeah , so , like you mentioned in the book he mentions , like every time you go to the bathroom , try to get a couple reps in . Every time you feel a saboteur , come up , try to label it . And that can be tough . It takes 21 days for us to build a habit . So the more you do it , the easier it's going to get .
Something that has worked really well for me when getting my PQ reps in is to do these sort of chunked training time frames . So I'll take about 15 minutes during my drive to work and I will sit and I will repetitively PQ rep it . So no music , so no music .
Sometimes I try to see a different house on the side of the road that I haven't seen before , or really listen to the sound of my car . The wind hit my car .
Use those like chunked periods of time to get a lot of reps in , especially if you know you're moving into a circumstance or you're going to work or a place where it's hard for you to slow down which again I would challenge you .
If it's hard for you to slow down which again I would challenge you if it's hard for you to slow down , probably all the more reason for you to slow down and get in control of your thoughts . But using those blocked opportunities is also really helpful to make sure that you are building those neural pathways .
Yeah , so I mean this feels like going to the gym for your brain . I mean this feels like going to the gym for your brain . Someone who wants to start this journey maybe feels a little overwhelmed . What do you say ? How do we now go do this , starting today ?
Yeah , I think the first step is to take the first step and remembering that it's your responsibility . None of us are victims to our lives , but we all must take the responsibility to control our happiness and contentment and know that life does have ebbs and flows , but those ebbs and flows don't need to determine the direction .
We can always look at the things that happen to us as things that happen for us and really being grateful for every opportunity . We have to be challenged , as we know that we're going to be building our brains and our bodies and our relationships to be more meaningful and , you know , just a more positive overall life .
Love that and you know , if you're , if you're wanting to do this , maybe some other encouragement be patient , you know . Commit to this , commit to this for six weeks , um , before you just pack it in and say , well , I don't know if this is working , you know , for for some people it's gonna . It's gonna take a little bit longer .
You know , forming new neural pathways takes time . One of the one of the things I talk about with athletes all the time is your bad habits that you have on the basketball court have taken you 17 years to build .
To think that we're just going to meet once or we're just going to read a book once and we're going to do an activity a few times and that's going to rewire everything inside of our brain is silly and , to be honest , it would do more harm than good if our brains could rewire themselves that quickly , because I feel like we would just be a scrambled mess and
we would always be , you know , being rewired by situations and environment around us . You know , maybe find a training partner , maybe find someone that can hold you accountable , find someone that you can do this with or go on this journey with or at least just share about . You know what you're going through , what you're learning
¶ Starting Your Mental Training Journey
. Um , those would be , you know , maybe just some , some encouragement that I would have for folks , brenna , as we kind of as we wrap this up , any last final thoughts about the book , about the topic or any you know anything , anything else that's on your mind you wanted to share .
The only thing I'd want to leave everybody with is your life moves in the strongest direction of your thoughts , so take control of your thoughts and take control of your life .
I love that . Well , Brenna , thank you so much . This has been really great doing kind of a deeper dive into this topic . I appreciate your time and always great getting to chat with you .
Yeah , thank you so much . It's been great .
If you have questions and want to reach out , head over to mentaltrainingplancom . We've got a contact us box down at the bottom . Feel free to send that over to us . If you've got questions that you would like answered on the podcast , feel free to send those our way . And remember we've got the MTP . Academy is live and ready to go .
If you are a coach or you are a trainer or you are a parent and you are looking for tools and a program to help your athlete improve the mental side of their game , head on over to mental training plan dot com , click on the Academy button up at the top and if you've got questions , please don't hesitate to reach out .
Until next time , make your plan and put it to work .