345. Todd Winfrey - Coaching With Love: Coach Winfrey’s Approach

Hey everyone. My name is Colton and I'm the host of the coach 360 podcast. Here. Our goal is to come alongside and equip coaches with the resources to help develop character through sports and raise up the next generation of leaders. Not only do we do that through this podcast and interviewing coaches from across the nation about character, culture, and leadership, but we also do it through our 2 words character development curriculums. If you want to learn more about these or anything else that we offer, visit our website. 2 words. That's the number 2 words. Or you can always drop me an email Colton at 2 words. Thanks for listening today. Let's get into the show. BMX Pro Maxima is your one stop shop for the ultimate fitness equipment solution. Are you ready to take your workouts to the next level with their state of the art equipment, you can achieve your fitness goals faster and more effectively. From strength to cardio, they manufacture a wide range of high quality products made in the USA to maximize your performance. Experience the difference with BMX Pro Maxima and see why thousands of athletes and fitness enthusiasts trust them. Visit Pro Maxima today to explore their catalog and elevate your fitness journey. Coach Mackey and I have personally gotten the opportunity to train with their equipment in our home gyms. Many of you know of our strongman and powerlifting backgrounds from big bench presses and deadlifts. We have spent thousands of hours under a barbell and can personally tell you BMX Pro Maxima is one of the best manufacturers of strength equipment. We have put our chalked up hands on and they're made right here in the great state of Texas BMX Pro Maxima. Find your strength from within. Hi everyone! Welcome back to another episode of coach 360. Today I get to hang out with Coach Todd Winfrey. He's the athletic coordinator and head football coach over at Canyon High School up in the panhandle of Texas. Coach, welcome to the podcast, man. Thanks for having me on, man. How are you doing today? Oh, I'm doing great now that I'm talking with you. So thank you so much for jumping on. Well I appreciate the opportunity. Man. What a what a great thing we're doing here. Oh, absolutely. It it really is a gift to be a part of this and just to serve, um, in support coaches as they're doing what they do, um, to coach up these kids and get them ready for the next season of their life, uh, whatever that may look like. And so excited to chat with you about that very thing today. Well, excited to be a part of it. Cool. Well, hey, coach, why don't you start off by telling our listeners a little bit more about, uh, you yourself coaching career, um, kind of how you made your way over to Canyon High School. Sure, sure. Well, for me, you know, I ended up I played high school football in in Lubbock at Lubbock. Monterey. Um, uh, left there and went to played at Hardin-Simmons University. That's where I went to college. I got my undergrad and my master's degree both there, played there for four years. I was a graduate assistant coach for three years, uh, under Jimmy Keeling. You know, legendary coach, uh, Alan Waters. Everybody knows Coach Waters, uh, was there two of my big mentors and, uh, you know, lucky enough to meet my beautiful bride there and, um, you know, coach Coach Keeling and coach McQueen, uh, who is at temple for years and years and another, you know, one of the winningest coaches in Texas. We're really good buddies. And, uh, they kind of work together to get Blake Bryant the head football job here in 2000. And, uh, as soon as they got him the job, then they they kind of informed Blake that they he was going to hire me. And so it was kind of a package deal. And so me and Jen moved up here with Coach Bryant and his wife Holly, and, and, uh, I spent 21 years as his assistant head coach. Offensive coordinator. Uh, well, he retired after 21 years here at Canyon. And, uh, luckily enough, I was promoted. And so this has been my my fourth year as the head football coach here at Canyon and, and, uh, you know, in the meantime, I've, I've raised four daughters, uh, that have all gone through the school system. My youngest the last one's a senior this year. And so it's been a heck of a, an awesome opportunity. God had his hand on that move. And it's it's been it's been great. Oh, I love it. That's awesome. Well, coach, uh, here in a moment, I want to go back to some of those coaches that you mentioned that were kind of influential in your life and your coaching career. Uh, but first you mentioned something that was stood out to me was super interesting. You said you served as a assistant coach for 21 years there at Canyon. Did I hear that right? Yes, sir. That's incredible. Tell me. Tell me more about what that journey or that process was like. Um, I just I make up the story in my mind. And just what I hear from coaches that I get to spend time with, you know, they don't often wait that long to make a jump to the head coach position. Um, or they or they're jumping to the next high school or different program and they're kind of kind of working their way up the ladder, which is which is there's nothing wrong with. But you chose a different path. So tell me. Tell me more about that. Yeah. It's it's, you know, it's kind of interesting. Um, you know, I don't know if this is at the beginning, but I'll tell you this. I have four daughters. Uh, we had our first one. Uh, Riley was my my first daughter, uh, the first year we got here. And, uh, and long story short, it's a great place to have a family, to raise kids, to raise daughters. It's it's a great community. And so as far as you know, you know, letting you know that it it tells you that I wasn't going to leave here unless it was a really good opportunity. Now, you know, coaches are alpha dogs and Type-A personalities and egomaniacs sometimes. And and I'll be honest, in 21 years there were plenty of coaching buddies, guys that I played with and coached with at Hardin-Simmons that were getting head jobs and would text or call me and ask, you know, when I was going to get one. And and, you know, sometimes that was a little hard or frustrating because you always feel like you're ready And, uh. But I just never felt like there was a better place than this. And, uh, you know, hindsight's always 20, 20. And and you always think you're ready. And even when you get your first head job, I'm still not sure you're ready. You're just. You have your first head job. But I even feel like that, that little stretch there where I was ready to do it. But it wasn't happening. Uh, with some of the best years I had developing as a coach and a person, I think I learned more in those years, and it really got me ready for when I did get this opportunity. Uh, I was blessed by Coach Bryant. He he incorporated me in everything. I mean, so, uh, for probably 18 of those 21 years, I went to every meeting. I went to every district meeting. Uh, he included me in things. He he let me handle things like a head coach at times, uh, which really helped me grow and develop as a young coach up here in the Panhandle. And, and, uh, you know, it just it's such a unique place up here and, you know, so many people and and the, you know, the coaching bond is great across the country and the state. But it's it's really cool up here in the Panhandle as well. And and so yeah, it is a little bit different. Uh, I'll say this. Whenever I was a kid growing up, uh, we moved all over the place. My parents were divorced and me and my mom moved around and I went to 13 elementary schools. And so the fact that me and my wife Jen, and our four daughters were able to go through one school system, uh, no matter what happens, you know, before now or after, we'll still be the the greatest accomplishment in my professional career is doing that for my kiddos. And, uh, and I can't think of a better place to do it than Canyon, Texas. Yeah. Oh, man. Coach, I just I love your commitment to to family, to your girls, uh, to your bride and and your commitment to the the community. Uh, I think that that's that's beautiful for for those coaches that are, that are listening in. Um, and maybe they're in a similar place of transition. You know, you, you shared, uh, just that struggle of, um, having some outside influences and seeing some other coaches and kind of kind of do their thing and make their way up or whatever. Um, but you had a bigger priority. You had a bigger vision. You were putting family first. I think that that's super special and beautiful and a great encouragement for our coaches and listening in, uh, of the priority of, of of taking care of family, um, as well, while we're coaching and while we're serving with our kids and in our community. What would your advice be to the coach that is in that kind of transitional period? Maybe they're they're thinking about, hey, I'm almost there. Maybe like to you to your point. Hey, I think I'm there, but I haven't made the leap yet. I'm sitting kind of in that, that place of that difficult, strained place of kind of waiting for the next step, not really sure where it's going to be feeling like I'm ready. What would be what would be your encouragement to them? Uh, patience. You know, I mean, I'll still, you know, God's timing is still undefeated. Amen. Um, but but everybody's timing is different, too. I think sometimes we feel like the world we live in, It's cookie cutter. And what happens for Colton or Todd or Jeff or Bob or Steve is all going to be exactly the same. And in this microwave world we live in, if we don't get it now or get it when we want, you know, we we tend to think that's a negative when when again, I go back to what I said earlier is, is those times when I thought I was ready and wanted to have a head job and maybe got frustrated at times. That's when the most growth happened for me. And and those moments prepared me for what I deal with now on a daily basis. And so, you know, comparison is just such a bad thing. You know, you know, it's it's all perspective. And, you know, at the end of the day when you look in the mirror and at your wife and you know, or your husband, you know, for the female coaches we have and, and your kids, you know, that's the priority. And and if you're taking care of that, then comparisons are just a waste of time because there's there's always somebody in a better scenario or got a head job first or has a better job or gets paid more or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Yeah. You know, and you can waste your whole day away worrying about comparison. And. And you miss the moment that you're in. Yep. Yep. Man, you are spot on with that. What has the transition been like the last four years for you? Uh, what what played out as true. Sounds like you got a lot of, uh, mentorship and preparation for this seat, but then you got to sit in it, and then, you know, it got real. Uh, what has that transition been like for you? What proved to be, you know, true out of your expectations and what has been, uh, something new or that you didn't foresee, uh, being something that you were going to have to, to work with or. Sure. Number one, you know, you can have all the opportunities and preparation you want, but you ask anybody that's a head coach, and until you're in that chair, you don't know what it's like to be in that chair. And if if there's something young coaches that want to be head coaches, they've got to understand that. Boy, you may think you've got a plan and you know how to handle this and you're ready for everything until you're in that chair. You're not. And, um, there's no blueprint or guidebook or pamphlet. You know, I kept thinking Coach Bryant might leave me a notebook that had all the answers in it, and, uh, dang, he just didn't. Um, but but as far as the, you know, the number one thing when you're a head coach is you you end up doing so many more things and it takes away from the actual just physical coaching that you might have. You get called away from things. Uh, to me, the biggest difference was, you know, I used to to from the time we finished lunch, all of our athletics is in the afternoon. I mean, I would just spend from from that time, from basically 1215 until we started practice at 3:00, getting ready for that practice. Wow. And being a head coach, there's times you come in your office and it's 250, and you, you grab your practice cards and try to see, okay, what do we have going on today? And that's where you've got to trust that you have a great, uh, great staff around you, that you've hired people that are the smarter and better than you and trust them to make sure we're doing things the right way, because sometimes you get pulled in a million different directions and that part can be tough. I think, uh, you know, I always hear that there are people that, you know, that that handle what other people think about them better. I think inherently, we all care what people think about us. And and as you do this long enough, it just ends up being some people that that may not like you or like the way you handle something. I think most of those times it goes back to playing time. And I think lack of playing time can correlate to a lot of negative things. And and being able to process that and understand that, you know, we're doing the best thing. We the best we can, you know, we're doing the best thing, we think for the program. And and at the end of the day, you can't make everybody happy. I think the saying is if you want to make everybody happy, sell ice cream. And so, you know, it's kind of that deal though, if, if, if we know I'm doing right by our kids and our program and our, uh, you know, the Canyon Eagle football program and Canyon Eagle athletics, then we're doing the right thing and, uh, yeah, that that's kind of all you can do on that. And, um, yeah, I think those have been, you know, some of the biggest things is just handling that, you know? You know, when you're a young coach and you're an offensive coordinator and you win a game and we score 45 points and threw for 300 yards, you like it when people pat you on the back and say, man, you called a great game. The reality is you called about four good plays. You know, the other 28 were bad and your quarterback and offensive line made up for it. And so you really didn't do as good a job as you think you did anyway. But we like to hear it. We sure do. Every coach wants a player led team. But how do you build a player led team? That's the question that led to the creation of the Captain's Course, a ten week customizable leadership development course for student athletes. The Captain's Course will equip student athletes to lead their teammates, promote the growth of leadership skills, create alignment on your core values from coach to athlete, and help build player led teams. Learn more at. Coach, you mentioned, uh, a long list of influential people and coaches in your life. What are some of the lessons that you have learned from those coaches along the way that you have integrated into your program in the last four years? Uh, number one is, is love to love kids, that it's it's okay to love them to develop a relationship. It is more than okay to tell a kid physically the words, I love you, it's okay to hug a kid. Um, those are the things that build the relationships. And with that, relationships, the rest of it kind of doesn't matter. It's all a moot point. Um, to me, that's first and foremost. You know, I learned from some of my great mentors and I've mentioned them, you know, the Jimmie Keeling's and Alan Waters and Mike waters, his brother, who was the athletic director and superintendent here, and, of course, Blake Bryant. Um, you know, you don't treat everybody the same. You treat them fair. You know, your kids and my kids may, may be in a different boat. And the way I treat, you know, Kennedy Winfrey may be different than the way I treat your son. And so we're going to treat them fair. But everybody's coming from a different situation. And I think that was something pretty important to do. Um, you learn in coaching that that very seldom is there black and white. There's a handful of things in this, in this profession, and I think in life that are just non-negotiable. And they're black and white. But boy, the the rest, the rest of the things we deal with on a daily basis are gray. And a lot of that goes back to the situation that's everybody's in. You know, I think, I think that the color of gray depends on home life and situation and what's going on. And and a lot of times you can make decisions, uh, that can be really bad if you don't know those kids. And that goes back to the first thing. And that's loving them and having a relationship and and taking the time to do that. Sometimes we get so caught up in the X's and O's and we forget that, man, if if this kid just knows I love him and, uh, then we've got a fighting chance to to do some special things and, and you know, I, I still I Brian Wood talked about coaching paychecks and that that's when you get those texts or phone calls from kids that have since played for you. You know, the Michael Stigler's of the world. A lot of the world that text me on Father's Day and say, hey, happy Father's Day, coach. Love you. You know that when something cool is happening, when when they got engaged, when they had their baby, you know, you're you're at the top of the list of people they call. And, um, you know, those are the things that that you remember. You know, I still believe when we're on our deathbed, nobody's going to care what our record was in 2021. You know, they're going to care about how much we loved them and cared about them and the impact we made on them. Yeah. Speaking about love, coach, put that into a, uh, a practical example. How do you and your staff show these kids you mentioned building relationships and that sort of thing, but I'm talking get in the weeds, get practical for us, for our our coaches listening in that say, yes, I believe in this, but the evidence of belief is our actions, right. So what are some action steps that you guys do and take to prove and show your kids that you love them? him. You know, first it's just talking. You know, the ability to communicate with them, you know, talking, making sure you have an open door policy. We've actually had three funerals in the last ten days here at Canyon of Kids. And, you know, when you've developed a relationship, then then those kids feel comfortable to come in your office and shut the door and, you know, do do what you know, society thinks is an unmanly thing and that's cry and let you know, coach, my my grandpa died or my grandmother died and I'm hurting, you know, and to get up and walk around the desk and sit there and and hug them, you know, give them a kiss on the forehead, say a prayer with them, go to the funeral with them and be there in support. You know, those are some things in life that I think are so common sense, but I think we get busy and forget about us. I go, I mean, everything to me goes back to the relationships. You know, it's, you know, you can go into a practice, whether it's a practice or an offseason or especially an offseason, though, and learn a lot about a staff, because if 2 or 3 coaches are coaching and 4 or 5 coaches are standing, you know, shoulder to shoulder talking, you know, they're missing a chance. They could be walking around and developing a little bit of that relationship with those kiddos. You know, I think some of those those things when adversity hits is when you really find out, you know, how much your relationship has blossomed over the years with those kiddos and, and obviously the older kids you've got a better one with because you've been around them a little bit more. But I think that that is is a huge thing. The other thing is, you know, having a relationship enough where when you talk about love to have some tough love, you know, and and that's hard as a coach because sometimes you develop a relationship or you have kids that are better players and it can be hard to call them out. But when when you've got a group that that you love and care about so much that you just let them know, hey, I'm going to I'm going to tell you when you're doing something wrong. And by the way, I want y'all to do the same thing to me or our coaches. If we're not coaching you the way we should be, let's do it. And nobody's going to get their feelings hurt or butt hurt about it. We're going to be grown men and, uh, and be able to move forward with that. And boy, that's that's an awesome point. When you get get to that stage of your your program because that's when everybody starts growing. Wow. Coach tell me tell me more about that. You you literally give your athletes permission to call you and your coaches out when they see something that they feel like is out of bounds is did I hear that right? Sure. Yeah. Tell me more about that. How do you equip them to do that? Well, in the right way. And what are they looking for? And because I love that idea, I absolutely love it. It's unique. I do a lot of podcasts. Hadn't heard that one before. Uh, from a coach. So tell tell me more about that. You know, it kind of goes back to that theory that a coach led team can be good, and a player led team can be great. Yes, sir. And and it can't just happen. All of a sudden, you can't snap your fingers and say, this is where we're going to get, you know, kids have to earn that, right? Yeah. Kids. Kids have got to go through a process whether that's, you know, just being in the program long enough in our off season and our leadership council stuff and our meetings that we do our development. Uh, it's it's earning the right to do that and understanding that, you know, your job is not to come in here as a kid, you know, three times a day and tell us what's going wrong. Your ideas. You know it really, really. When stuff like that happens, it may be 1 or 2 times that, that your input, you know, is really important. And then for your kids to understand, at the end of the day, you may still just be a kid and we're the adults, and sometimes we still know what's a better decision. Or at least we think we do, and we're still going to make the best decision, we think. And so it may contradict what they want, but we want them to have that ownership of the team. And when they do it, just your team blossoms. It's just exponentially, uh, you know, the amount of things you can accomplish goes through the roof. Wow. Well, I love that idea. Coach, you mentioned earlier your leadership council meetings and maybe some some development time. Can you, um, open up, open that up a little bit more? Uh, what does that mean? What are you guys doing? Um, how are you developing character and leadership in your student athletes? Sure. Uh, you know, we've done a couple different ways. You know, this spring, what we're doing is, is we've got a handful of of kiddos that we think are kind of our our biggest leaders. Um, you know, in the spring, what we're going to do with those and those are those are mainly our upperclassmen, uh, is is we're doing some meeting stuff. We're doing a book study. Um, we're kind of going through some thoughts and ideas, you know, where they've got to, to read, but also think and kind of know what what they get out of it. And then we turn it around and they have to I don't know if teach that course is correct, but but they're going to speak to the team and we're, you know, we take a couple of kids each week and it's their job to to talk to the team and let them know this is what we thought about and this is what we got out of this. And then as we get into the, you know, the summer and into offseason, we kind of narrow that down a little bit, but incorporate folks from each grade level and, and try to meet each week. You know, this year we brought people in periodically and and had them speak. Sometimes we would give them something specific. Sometimes you just say, hey, you know, like Colton, man, would you come talk to your leadership council? Uh, whatever's on your heart. You know what I mean? And more times than not, when you do that, I feel like God tells him exactly what to say. And it's exactly what your team needed to hear. Um, but it's things like that. Again, it's it's it's putting them in situations where there can be some real neat, dynamic, honest conversations. And those conversations aren't just about football. A lot of them are, because that's that's what we're doing. But a lot of them are about life. You know why why, why are, you know, your parents married and mine are divorced. Why why is your grandparents alive and mine just passed away? Why? You know, does your family have lots of money and a nice car? And my family's struggling. You know, there's girl problems, drug problems, drinking, you know, stuff like that, that that you just. It goes back to the relationships. You gotta have a good enough relationship for kids to be honest and talk about stuff. But we just open it up that way, and and it goes back to the whole concept of at the end of the day, we're trying to make great men, great husbands and great fathers. And somewhere in there we're trying to win some football games. But if we've got to sacrifice a few wins to to do right on those first three things, then we'll do it. Yeah. Wow. Love it. Well, coach, thank you so much for your time today as we kind of bring our conversation to a close, I want to be respectful of your time. Um, what would be something that you want to leave our listeners with? Um, oftentimes I'll ask this question and pose it as, hey, you get a you get a billboard at coaching school, you get to put whatever you want on there for coaches. Something that coaches need to know and need to hear in 2025 coaching athletes. What would be kind of that parting message for our listeners? You know, to me, you know, the two things that pop in my head and Imma say it again, kids need to be loved. And I'm probably, you know, beating a beating a dead horse with that thing. But I, I know about three years ago I had to speak at our, our leadership summit for the and I spoke on leading with love. And so that's important to me. Uh, again, I just think kids need to be loved. They need to hear it. Uh, men need to hear other men say they love them. And then the last thing, because I'm, I'm assuming this demographic is, is pretty heavily coach oriented is man, you're making a difference. You are. And you may not always see the results. You may not always, you know, reap the benefits. You may not even get to keep your job. Uh, you may have to move on, but somewhere in there, you're planting that seed and you're making a difference. And at the end of the day, if a tree grows, it may grow in a lawn that belongs to somebody else. But you still help that tree grow. And we're making that difference on a daily basis. And there's there's not many professions left in this world that do that. And so keep loving on kids and keep remembering you're making a difference. Mm. That's great encouragement, coach. If our listeners want to connect with you and maybe chat a little bit more, maybe they heard something today and they're like, oh, you know, I have more questions. Would it be all right if they reached out to you? If so, where would be the best place for them to do that? Twitter email? Something like that? Sure, sure. Uh, we our our football Twitter handle is called at play for the sea. And that's the letter C, so p l a y f o r t h e c. Uh. And then my email is Todd Winfrey at Canyon Net. Awesome, coach. And we'll throw that in the show notes for our listeners. Coach, thanks again for your time today. Listeners. Thanks for jumping on another episode with us. Colton. I appreciate it, man. Thanks for having us on. Absolutely. Hey guys, one last note before you head off for your day, over 1400 schools across the nation have or are using one of our curriculums. Are you ready to jump on board? If you want a turnkey program to develop character in your athletes, give us a call at (281) 723-9943. We will work with you and your budget to make it as easy as possible. Thanks again for listening to coach 360 podcast. Now let's have a good one today.