Turning up in Nigeria, travel etiquette, should men comment on women's hair? | Humble Baddies

What's some y'all?

Y'all Back from the Mother Lane girl. I didn't want to come back.

Don't ask me about my hair, Okay, if it looked like it's mine, it's mine. Are Yeah, it doesn't be long distance.

I don't know. I don't think that's gonna work.

I get in my way, never out of my land.

It's been like you one in the mom one, so it is gonna be baby squad.

We've been to go deep.

You running on us?

What you need?

Baby?

Won't you keep me company?

Give me something to do.

And I get on.

I just someone for you when we get home, if you let me put it when I at the town.

What's up, guys, we are back with another episode of Humble Baddies. I'm surel Risotto, I'm Ashley Nicole.

And I'm Alexis Sodamayer and we.

Are the Humble Baby. What's some, y'all, y'all? Back from the Mother Lane girl.

I didn't want to come back like you trying to.

Yeah, you know.

I was celebrating my forty second lap around the Sun related thank you so much, Happy birthday, birthday, thank.

You, thank you.

It's pisty season, so shout out to my fellow Piscey's out there.

Okay, So you had a good time you were in the NYC? I did.

It's crazy to be back, like full circle. I go often.

And the fact that my youngest was born there, and there's lots of footsteps there in New York and the big.

City, a lot of time there. Yeah, yeah, we did.

You know, it was an investment. And you know, if they say, if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere. So the fact that our family thrived there, they still thrive. We still have a name there, and you know, it's just good to see friends that are family that you just haven't seen in a while.

And plus it was a nice change of weather. Yeah, and the vibes the people do. Was it snowing?

No, no snow, no snow, But it was just chilly, just a little chili, you know, which I like a little brisk.

Yes, well, we was in.

The opposite We was in. Tell you what I mean, are y'all jet lag like I'm jetlag?

I'm tired.

Yeah, we was partying.

This one had me outside every day every night until the sun came up.

Wait, it wasn't. It was the promoters, and it was like, okay, I'm not a party. I never let me write some notes about I'm.

Gonna tell you what you need and your packing hit when you go there. You're gonna need Ivy hydration packet. Yeah, because there's no sleep. You're gonna have to charge up before you leave.

Yeah, and just go with the flow. So it's not a relaxation vacation.

Coffee and champagne. Like, oh, we were urinating the whole time. But you know what, shout out to everybody in Legos, everybody in Ghana, y'all showed out great care of us. Y'all really showed out, Like we're gonna hopefully we can upload some clips. We got some clips of us. Like when I tell you, the hospitality there was top tier, it was top tier. They showed us so much love.

I hear there are great business opportunities in the Motherland, especially Ghana and Nigeria.

People are coming back.

As black people. We should definitely invest.

Price points pretty reasonable to where you yes, absolutely really amazing.

The units that we're partnering with, they're starting out at eighty four thousand and they have a great ROI ros.

What you get English for those that don't know.

Return investment Okay, yes, so yeah, I mean we're we're here to educate and you know, let everybody know. You know, I know a lot of people don't know about you know, investing, investing in real estate and investing in a whole nother continent, let alone another country. So we're here, you know, send us an email if you have questions and we would

We're basically not the minority.

Not basically we aren't you know, Yes, yeah, it was a beautiful thing to see.

I love that. How was the food? The food was amazing, Yes, it was amazing.

The food was amazing. We went and got a massage at a waterfall. I don't know if I don't know.

If to say that, we're.

Not gonna talk about that.

Beautiful you're in nature, you're getting massage, just rest and relaxation. I mean why it was a little different. It was as different. The men in Ghana are very beautiful. I'm just a scam yeah, and.

The big musculs.

And this is who was doing the massaging or just in general. I just wanted my mic a little closely.

We're talking about the messages, but in general, yeah, yeah, they're beautiful people, beautiful country, beautiful people.

Yeah that so everyone was warm with you guys, and just warm and very catering.

Yeah, everybody wanted to make sure like we had a great time and we did well.

Ash did you you did say the last episode that you were looking for you know, prince.

Okay, I want to know the people, do want to know.

The matchmaker. But we know that men are very aggression.

It's already.

But no, they walked up to my friends, my single friend and was like, I want your number, give me your number.

So no time station, no, none of that. It was more just very it.

Was very straight to the very direct, assertive man.

But did I give out my number?

Did you?

Did you?

I didn't.

There was no one that piqued your interests.

No, okay, okay, well okay, I have to go back because I said we had a mission.

Yeah, Ashley did say that.

Okay, well that.

Was that was good.

At least I see and we see at least you went and like spreaking a little essence there.

We'll be back. So it's fine.

Yeah, and I'm gonna go this time. Are you gonna go with us?

For real?

I will?

Okay, it was just a little conflicts of interest with my birthday everything.

You know, maybe you may not want to come back. You want to be there for your birthday.

Yeah, there for your birthday.

So next year, next year, let's make it happen.

I love that for you all though. I love it's so much fun.

Like yeah, and I was telling Ashley and everyone, like I did the ancestry DNA and I found out, like when it does a breakdown, I'm twenty six percent Nigerian. Yeah, I love that she's a Nija queen.

Hmm.

I love that. It's beautiful. But you're gonna love it. Yeah, I can't wait. I can't wait.

So, yeah, I need a break though. I'm tired. Okay, but you're about to go back on vacation. I know. I got one more trip with the kids, Like, you know, I owe the kids.

And it's just hard.

So I gotta take the kids on their little spring break trip. Yeah, and then I'm setting my ass down because my mother like that. Yeah, I gotta take mine too. They don't start spring breaking until two more weeks from now.

So this is the first year that I have three of my babies, or there's just it's three different schedules. So nobody's going on a group trip. It'll be more individualized because they're overlapping ones. One's on spring break now, then I have a sided coming in next weekend. Then she's a good week, and then after that is are the boys. So it's just all over the place. So all of March is spring break. Somebody's on spring break.

Well, that's amazing.

That is It's a blessing, right, it is blessing. They're wearing me out though they are.

It's never a done moment with them because on spring break, do you feel like you have to put them in activities, keep them busy or is that a time for everyone to rest.

You got to keep them busy.

I feel like I'm always trying to keep them busy, but I feel like for spring break it is a time for us to do something different, like get together, do something different, get out the house, you know, go on a trip something, even if it's not like far, just get them out of their environment.

Show them something different.

I feel like, you know, I can speak on myself be growing up as a child, I wasn't able to travel the world. So just showing them the world, giving them an exce parents said, I didn't have. I love that. It's better than just giving them money or hand for their time or put them in a summer camp, like let's go, let's go, let me show you the world.

Hands on education. You just cannot get that back in those core memories that they'll take forever.

It is. It's amazing to always travel with your children.

But Chad, he reached out to me, you know, we're still nothing like that, but we still are a family at the end of the day, and he was like, have the baby ready. So Serenity's getting her hair done and the sisters are shopping.

He's taking all his girls on a trip a daddy daughter spring breaks.

So Serenity and her sisters where their dad leaves tomorrow to go to Dominican Republic. You wanted to make it a competition, you take them to d R. I'm taking the girls to Dubai jump So and Arianna both graduate in May, so their trip for me will be going to Dubam.

That would be fun, all the girls, the older girls.

Yeah, I love that. Now, now when you travel, are the kids in first class?

Oh?

No, baby they gonna be in economy, but mama gonna be in first class. Mama gonna be at the head, and they could be at the tail. Do your kids travel first class too?

They got kicked out a long time ago. They don't liquor first. They don't drink the liquor, they don't eat the food.

And I mean it's funny because they were like, why are you in first I'm like, wait, what, Especially the boys when they met me in Japan, it was so tight in the back.

I was like, look, I don't know what to tell you.

And the old enough now, like they don't need to be like right sitting right next to the past class. I was thirty years old. It was like, no, it's a privilege. Yes, y'all gotta work for this. I'm gonna make sure y'all get there. Yes, y'all maybe in the back of the plane, but y'all got.

To work for you.

And you're right, I don't have to be under them. They're all stuff efficient. All the iPads are charged, the phones are charged, they sleep, they can watch whatever.

They want't nobody's stealing.

Yes, So like, what do you guys think of travel etiquette? I know, speaking of like traveling and these airplanes, it's real scary right now?

Do you feel like it's a real thing?

You know, travel etiquette is we might start teaching some lessons the travel.

But did y'all see and I felt like that happened to me where I seen a news article where the plane had to turn around because the guy was excessively farting. That is how much do you have to be fighting for them to turn it down? Plane enough?

Too? Are sick? Yeah, from the smell. That's horrible.

That's all. Now I have let out a part or two Ashley. I'm sorry, but we're family. When I was texting you and b T, I was like, oh, y'all, like, I guess the food.

So we was on the plane, on the plane, you know the altitude.

I had that listen. I had the blanket seal because I was like, oh, my stomach is it was?

Where can you have let it out? Something?

Taking malaria, the malaria pills, making yes.

You're eating at weird times and the playing around that is something.

So you let one I had They was the solid ones.

So I was like, oh my god.

It's the silent killers you got. No one knows everybody that I think.

Everybody's afforded one good little I'm saying because that's like a little yeah with Chad and I used to be on the plane and it was one time where I had bad gas and the people was looking at.

They're not gonna think that it's the woman and she's so cute, but she's saying, I'm looking at it.

I'm like, you think that's funny.

It's that's that is the farting to me is when people take their shoes off and their feet smell.

Oh yeah, that's nasty.

I was sitting next to a guy going from like cross country and it's already a long flight and we were on those in those kind of like the pods to where it.

Was two the right next.

So I was like, he, and it's long, where you want to rest because if it's like most likely if it's a red eye, you know.

So at first, at first, I was like, you're gonna make me sick.

I was like, is it?

It has to be him, you know, because at first you just just this overwhelming foot odor. Then I looked and I was like, yeah, I think it is. So I was like I tapped him. I was like, sir, do you mind, like, you know, covering up your feet, and he was like.

He looked at me and he was just like kind of gave me the shoulder and kind of like.

Turned, No he didn't because I was. But then he did end up covering up his feet with the blanket. But no, that that funk penetrated.

It had it had to be fungused. It had to be something.

But I feel like people think they're at home when they're on the plane and you forget it's a share space. And not only is the share space, it's a tiny shared space and you don't pay all this money to sit and you know, first it seems to be uncomfortable.

It's just not it's not cool.

It was a crying baby on my way back from Africa. It was and the long leg, the long leg, that's tough. It is tough because I remember them days flying with my baby and they will be crying and I was just like, damn, I remember them days. But I feel like you should always be like the type of person because I will never forget this. There was this one flight my baby was crying, crying, crying, and this old white man was like, let me help you, let me help you. With your baby. And I was like no,

And I looked at that man.

I was like, oh my god, like thank you so much. I'm gonna starting to cry because I really was having like a old time.

Yeah, because you try to like, oh what people are looking at you?

So I always feel like people should remember, like, you know, the mom is probably going through it right now. Like I always look for like the moms who like need a help a hand with their strollers and like, cause they got so much going on. Where you're traveling there, that's a lot, you know. Yeah, But in that moment in Africa, for a second, I was like I just want to go to sleep, of course, and then you remember that used to be you, that used to be so don't forget. And I was like, okay, just put

In and go to sleep.

I do as we're gonna create. We're gonna help Ashley create. Allowed for headphones the whole time we was in Africa because the music is loud. Ear plugs, yes, because I have.

So it's like it's.

Too loud for me in the I'm old, you're not old. Okay, well I don't know, but I do not. I can't do the loud noises in the club. So if you ever see me in the club or something in my ear, just ignore it.

And it was super loud.

So what I do if I don't have if I don't have my ear plugs, I will get a tissue and then I like get a little piece and I ball it up in my hand. I put it in my mouth so it can get a little wet, and then I roll it up in my hand and then I stuff them in my ears and it makes here and you hear if you try to talk to me in the club. But no, no, y'all can't hear you.

So actually going too with her own line of clubs.

Yeah, y'all better said, y'all gonna be thanking me when y'all older, y'all can hear y'all go into the club every night.

I'm just gonna put those maxes on, turn that noise cancelation and just max out.

Never out of my name.

It's like you and the.

Mom next I say something different, booths, but you see this. Did you take your locks out?

I did?

Oh my goodness, I'm in this hair journey of right now. Well, I would say it's been it's been over a year of me having the locks, which I love. It's something that I didn't know I was missing, you know, like in just my vibe, just my extra like a little layer. But I'm in the age of where they are locked, so I was. I'm in a lock reformation.

Phase right now.

So it took hours to take out the locks. And now I got a deep condition and had to cover up these grades and I'm getting them all relocked permanently tomorrow.

Oh my goodness, are you going to add extensions or are you just going to use.

Your Yeah, I'm add these extensions.

But like my hair grew so much, I had so much new growth, and they've already started locking. So it's just like a big step being forty two and only a week old, Like so much is going on, you know where I'm just like, you know, it's time, and that's your crown, you know, it's very very sacred, and so.

Like I love how I feel in them. I love my vis thank you, thank you, thank you. So it's just my essence right now.

And so I just wanted to make sure I was doing it the right way, the correct way. And so now I'm locking locking in literally and my boys, my boys have them for years. My oldest just cut his two years ago, and then my baby still has them.

So I'm just gonna be like them and just rock out.

One day, lock my hair up, to come on, my whole family can be yes, all right, you're the only one locked up. So one day when I get like, I don't know what age so long, it's so I'm gonna lock it though. To be doing this when I'm older in age, and I like it, I go I just especially living here in Mia. Eventually I want to cut all my hair off and go short.

You should go right back to try it.

I short hair before, like, we need we need a picture, we need some evidence because I got a question.

I got a question.

Okay, So what do you guys feel about men feeling like they have a say so what their woman does with their hair? Do they do you do? Do we need to get permission for them to make a big hair change, if we want to do a big chop, if we want to lock up. How do you feel about that? I think I say yes. You know what's funny conversation No, before we go into this. So I was on a plane coming back from Africa and this guy was sitting next to me and we were having

What I know.

But I feel like what I was taking from your question is, Okay, what if you Okay, your man met you met me, you just met him on the plane. So that's why I was saying that. But what if this is your man and you want to do a big change, You're gonna do a big.

Change because it has to be a big change has to be I.

Would consult with Hey, babe, I think I think I'm gonna try this.

What do you think about it? I like their opinion.

I think that's a good way to approach it. Like, especially that's your man. You know, y'all have this dialogue, y'all are friends. You have the conversation and going off of how he met you, that's what attracted to him to you in the first place. So what a big change like that comes sometimes a life change too, you know,

Cut the locks.

He was like, you need to consult your man if you're going to cut them locks off, because that's just dope. Like I was like, I kind of get that, you know, but I would definitely have that conversation.

But I know that's what like is part of your vibe.

Or your your your essence, so it is a part of who you are.

You know how you stand about them locks being gone temporarily, Let's.

Be back tomorrow, don't worry. Did you face someone not yet?

Well, I mean, but you know, i'd be talking about your friend. They'd be like, let me go back to this. Somebody coming in and was like, let me go back to this Texas.

You'll never know, you never you would never know. But you know, it's good to have friends everywhere.

Guys.

You know, let's just say this.

Every time we talk about their friend and then don't get rid. That's buggy.

You change.

We're talking about hair. Okay, you brought.

A friend up, a friend, like you know that means going to be back in.

So you can put all.

Okay, well, yes, I don't know. I'm thinking about like if he'll ever cut his locks, because I met him, I've only known him with locks.

Yeah, it goes both ways, even with the guys. Can you imagine that.

I cannot because they have facial hair changes changes. I can't imagine him to grow a beard or not to grow beard, to go bald or not to be bald.

Or I can't see chat with any hair real hair either. No, because but can't he grow hair. He can't grow hair.

I used to be I used to be barber.

So he's choosing to be balds. We look better balls. Okay, I don't think he would look right. You like ball guys I liked.

When we were together. I like that bald head man.

But okay, but yeah, so I think it's also for men and me into I think you should consult if it's a big change.

Yeah, but I don't like a man asking if my hair is real or not. I feel like that's rude, especially for you as a black woman exactly.

But you felt okay with that man asking that. What on the plane he was like, is this your real hair?

I didn't think too much of it. I was like, I mean, I got some extensions in here.

Yeah, I don't like that, but you know, I'm old school when it comes to that, Like you shouldn't. I'm like I like back in the day when like we didn't know what you had going on in your head. But now it's like everybody, it's like a flex to be like I got that thirty inch bus down blah blah blah.

Because it's an accessory. You know, we've embraced hair culture. Now we've embraced locks.

And I'm not mad.

I don't know. I love journey.

Yeah, like, don't worry about it, don't your hair is beautiful.

Don't worry about it, sweetheart. Don't worry about sweetheart.

Don't you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah, I understand what you're saying.

Yeah, I don't know. I guess I'm old school, But don't tell you what I got going on in here. It's for all y'all want to know. And no, you can't touch it.

But you know, you know, especially let me just be one hundred.

You know, we prep for a trip for the protection of our hair. So whether it's braids, whether it's a deep condition or something, we're gonna switch it up for convenience, you know. So I feel like, you know, they shouldn't be asking. No one should be asking like why you got that?

Why are you doing that?

Right now?

Yeah?

So, Ashley don't like a lot of people asking about don't ask me about my hair.

Okay. If it looked like it's mine, it's mine, period. Okay, don't ask me, no question. And if you ask me, it's mine because I bought it, period.

And that's that.

And the locks up and you can't so you can't touch it, period.

And do not ask a woman about their hair.

No, let her come to you.

All right, y'all, Now it's time for our favorite time is the Humble Batty's Mail time?

Ye?

All right?

Who do we have today? This week's male is from Dominique. Dominique, she says, y'all, I'm stuck. So I'm currently going through a divorce and guess who else is my high school sweetheart. We recently connected after six years and the vibes are still there. It's like no time has passed. Now here's the dilemma. We both want to give this a real shot once our divorces are finalized. But he's in the military, which means we would be starting off this relationship long distance.

Domini, Well, I'm gonna tell you like this girl, you are just coming out of a relationship, right. Oh she put the cards down for this because I just got out of a relationship, and go ahead and what nothinga uh huh No, I was no saying Actually with Charlie, go go okay, okay, listen, honey, Dominique, focus on you, heal you do.

Whatever it is to make sure that you're happy, because what you don't want to do is get into another relationship. I don't know why you guys are ending your relationship going through a divorce, but you need that healing time and that's on some serious like find out what makes you happy. And because you don't want to bring whatever it is from your previous relationship, it had to be something because y'all are going through a divorce into this

I agree and disagree.

Y'all know.

I'm the hopeless romantic. I feel being a divorcite. I feel like people do have an expiration date, and I also believe in divine divine timing. I agree with you saying you need to heal and you also need to focus on yourself, because that's one thing they do have in common, is one they're familiar with each other, but it's a different stage in life. They have both been through traumatic events, meaning like a marriage and a divorce

Of with the healing journey and age shit.

So you're adding that and plus you're you're adding still trauma from the previous relationship, if there was infidelity, if there was financial reasons, whatever the cause of divorce between those parties were.

So I agree with healing, but.

I also believe in again the timing is perfect in their own way, so they can heal together.

I feel like I like both these answers. I feel like you can't go wrong with any either one of these answers. But I feel like with some of these questions, you know, y'all be knowing the answers, I feel like, right, and y'all just what, you're still married. We don't have married the voice. I don't married the voice like.

I don't like y'all be known with we have some life experience, but this is my husband Colin. See we have some life experience on that way. So, yes, I'm filming my mad work.

They we're filming.

We're filming.

Answer the question. I feel answer the question. Yes, can you answer this question? We have a question from a humble baddy. Can you answer it? The question? Is this girl Dominique, she just got a divorce, but she reconnected with her old high school sweetheart after six years.

You're both going through divorce.

They're both going through a divorce and they just rekindled. But he's in the military and they wouldn't get in a relationship. But it's but it's gonna be long term because he's in the military. What should she long distance?

Put it?

Put it towards some mikes it.

What are they going to be long distance?

Said, yeah, it gonna be long distance.

I don't know. I don't think that's gonna work.

Yeah, that's what I said. I said. They be writing these questions knowing to answer. They just want us to sign some bullshit. That's the answer. Okay, thank you, babe, love you. I'm gonna call you in about ten minutes. It can be done. Okay, all right, okay, bye bye.

I respect. Yeah, you know it ain't gonna work.

It's temporary healing because they both need to heal. I agree and see what they really want. It feels good and it sounds good for the moment. Yeah, but it's not gonna work.

Maybe they can heal together.

Dominique, it's not gonna work. We don't know.

If it's not gonna work, Dominique.

Dominique, go and but.

I say, data, mall a ma do all that, top one, But this ain't it.

Just know that okay, and that's okay. It's okay girl, you see me over here and heaven we can't co sign everything all of us, okay, But anyways, thank you for writing us over here at the Humble Batties. Thank you. We appreciate you and all your questions. If y'all have advice that y'all need, please feel free to write us. As always, thank you for sending in your message. If you're facing a situation or need advice on something happening in your life, we'd love to hear from you.

Yes, and where can they contact?

Send us an email at contact at Humblebatties dot com and we may feature your submission on the show period. So we look forward to hearing from you guys. All right, you guys, That is it for another episode of Humble Batties. Make sure you follow us at Humble Batties on Instagram, Humble Batties Podcast on Instagram, subscribe to us on YouTube, Humble Batties Podcast on all platforms. Say your Snapchat, y'all. We've been trying to get our snapchat. Yeah, don't forget.

And you can find me just on Instagram. That's where I'm at. Come see me.

We gonna etomar and then I'll be on Snap with them and then I'll have some good tea on there that'll go away in twenty four hours.

Why not?

All right, y'all, thank you so much for tuning in to Humble Batties. We'll see you next time. Love you, We love y'all.

To stop.

Stopping from the sack tot to the