Woody Harrelson | Club Random with Bill Maher

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And this sir is a tree.

You're a leader. You're a natural leader. That's why.

We decided to go here the woods for this is our 420 episode. To celebrate 420 at the pot store that um you and I own together, m much more of your money, thank God. Uh but We're trying. It's not easy to make a a business work in California.

California just messes with every business.

I mean I don't wanna like start this off oh why why not? By just shitting on California. But California deserves to be shit on for a lot of this kind of stuff. And people know, and this is why people flee the state. Like there is what is that?

Watermelon, J.

I'll have a little. Yeah. Watermelon. Why, is that like a big health thing now?

Well it it hydrates you better than anything. Ha actually watermelon and and coconut are the best hydrates.

Well, all businesses, but certainly this one, they still treat it like uh it's poison.

Thank you.

Whether it's legal it's not, you know.

They're they're they treat it like you're lucky that you are that you that we allow you to do this. And so we're gonna tax you thirty five percent, which is way more. It's more than double anything. Nothing's I don't even know what's the second, but you know, like guns. Ten percent. Like just to give you a

Beer.

Yeah you know, beer's like what, three percent or something, you know, like it's it's ridiculous that they can just Tax the fuck out of you and make it so hard. Anyway, I don't want to bitch and moan. I'm a happy person

Well uh generally I'm not happy about this.

Yeah, I'm not happy

I'm never happy when anybody fucks with my money. I'm a gangster like that.

Yeah.

And they're fucking with my money.

They don't allow you to write anything off and they tax you thirty five percent.

And also for the longest time it was a very risky business because you couldn't put the money in the bank. Right? The banks wouldn't take your dirty fucking pot money that you fucking hippies got by what? Smoking pot? That that money can't g pertain to your the holy sepulture that is a bank? Right. Nothing's shitty whatever on in there. But you know what I'm talking about? That's is that is that still going on? Or do you think that everybody would have tr

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah. California. Though though you can do some banks I heard can do it now.

Yes. No, th it's changing. Um

Oh, we got hey do we got

Fine.

I was gonna papers. I don't know how I'm gonna roll. I need papers and a grinder. These guys are listening. They'll they'll suggest it to someone. Anyway, uh or we could just go for this. But that's indication.

You don't have any, you only have indications?

Yeah, I don't know why. We only have Indica here. I'd I'd love to have

Either because who works I know why, because who works at a pot store stoner.

Novers, exactly.

That's right.

Some uh sativa, some hybrid, you know, whatever you can do.

So this is you you like you prefer to

Right. These guys are great.

Right.

Purple papaya.

I did a photo shoot here once as you know and I smoked they you know, they wanted a m picture of me. It's uh I love the picture. You know, it was a couple of years ago. It was right up here, I think, or one of the other bungalows.

Yeah, yeah.

And so they gave me a prop joint, but it was it was your I forget Black Mambo or some some shit. And uh w I must had keef in it or something. Because I I was smoking it just it took a few puffs for the shot. cool shots, you know, it's like Humphrey Bogart if he was a pot smoker, you know, when the smoke is sexy. It just is. People like it it looks cool and pick it. So the you know it

We're talking. Yeah, yeah. Come on in, Hall. And this is Bill.

We know each other.

Oh you got a grinder? Oh good. Okay, brother. Thank you, thank you. Okay. So you

You uh always you this is your thing. You you like the ritual of um preparing the drug.

No, no, I'm happy to have a pre roll, but it's just that this particular this this herb right here, I'm telling you, I met the farmers. I'm like, I'm coming up to meet you guys up there which I haven't yet followed through.

That's our pledge to you from the woods. We meet the farmers.

We meet the farmers. We do we give a shit about what we're

You you think they'd do that at Pot R Us or whatever the fuck the other b shitty stores are around here? No. They don't meet the farmers. And when they do meet the farmers, the farmers are way more impressed with you. Honey, you'll never guess who came to the fork today. Woody Harrelson. The guy from Cheers? Yeah. They haven't caught up to your movies yet.

Yeah, no, it's I've done a hundred, it doesn't matter.

Have you really done a hundred? Yeah.

One hundred movies. And that's what I was with Jason,'cause we were you know, we're gonna do a movie together.

What is the movie you're doing with him?

Yeah. So we were just You know, running scenes together today and Jason's directing it.

He's directing it.

And he did writing on it. He he made the script. I I really feel like the script went from pretty good To like Cohen brothers. Like it really became a terrific He's Oh he's that guy is so short.

I agree. a another level, you know, with directing in his career. So that's good. As always you find a way to hit your wagon to people who can do you some good in the business. I I love the way you do that. I love the way you hang on. I mean what do you are you are you sixty five?

I went a little sixty four.

You're not retiring, but but you will be playing bad grandpa. No, I mean I don't mean that as an insult. In fact, I mean that as a compliment because when you get to these upper ages, the only way you can stay hired is if you were iconic. Like, okay, De Niro, yes, we will fly we will use you to you're dead. They just eat you till we will the Clintis wouldn't Could be, possibly is ninety-nine.

Right.

And he did a movie and I love Cleet Eastwood. The few filmmakers I s would speak up for more. I mean, I would love to meet him. One of the few I would love to meet him. Oh really? Oh, absolutely.

And just say,

Thank you for the entertainment. I mean and you know, so what a great amazing career with different phases and what a you know. Anyway, you know, they they hate him in Hollywood because he's, you know, sort of a Republican. It's like, oh come on, really? Do you have to fucking obsess about that? He's not

You'cause you know, I live in Texas, dude. I mean I'm I'm meeting i it's all day long I'm meeting I'm hanging with the Republicans and you know, like you don't you just don't talk about I don't want to talk about Biden. Me, you know I'm an animal.

That's how most of the yeah.

So I don't know.

Right. Right, you're an anarchist.

I am.

I don't

Government.

Okay. Well uh agreed.

Once in a while there's a good there's a good government.

Okay.

When's the last good government you saw?

All alm almost all democratic governments are way better than anarchy. Anarchy is, you know, have you seen all those movies that take place like after the war, the big war, the apocalyptic event, and now it's you know, it's just this bleak landscape, the you know, what is the The one with not Road Runner Blade R no no.

A blade runner.

No, no, that's the future. What's the one it's like desert and Charlie's Theron and somebody else you know?

I thought that was bliss.

No no. Blade Runner is Harrison Ford in the future. This is uh

Yeah.

Mm.

Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. And they hated each other on the movie. But it what? No, they did. Really?

Mm.

I mean, i it doesn't matter. You could hate people hate each other and make movies together all the time. Not you. I mean all all your co stars, I must say Well uh y you you are a guy who stays friends with everybody you ever worked with, it seems.

I wish that were true.

You know, that's true. Especially the good looking younger men. I don't I'm not saying but like

Yeah.

When you think about who's in your you know, McConaughey and Owen Wilson and then, you know, uh who's the latest one? James Marsden and Franco. You know, so I'm just saying surround yourself with with attractive young men. It's very normal thing to do. Burt Reynolds did it for years. Charles Nelson Riley.

Wow I'm starting to get the feeling.

Dom Deloise He-Man. Like that.

Yeah.

T must oh Paul Lynn. Paul Lynn. Yeah.

He was oh he was great.

What are we smoking?

And this is the uh This is the we're calling it Woody's personal stash here, but but it's we're g it's gonna change and I I think I'm gonna call it Woody's goodies or something. Yeah. But it's, I mean, it's not. This oh this is This is from Humboldt.

So you talk to the farmer about this one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The the farmer was

What did you say?

And you know

Harry's real slight.

Just that he hit a home run and he knows it, and everybody who tastes it is like, that is great.

I thought farmers were modest. I thought farmers were modest. You know, I mean, I think that's a good idea

No, he's this guy's very modest actually, him and his wife. Very modest. But but they do know they have a beautiful product there. And uh you know, but everything that I love is it's uh it's sun grown, it's soil nourished, it's uh the water is clean. Right. You know, it's not like

Yeah, yeah. I couldn't.

Yeah.

I couldn't agree more. You know what else would be great? Lucrative. Okay.

Lucrative would be.

Let's let's get and you know what the truth is that they're not mutually exclusive. They one does feed the other if you if you let people know. what the product is and why it's better and you know. They will pay a little more. Yeah. You know, I mean the the the pot crowd I feel is also a health crowd.

No, I would never. I do. I drink You know me, I drink.

Yeah, but but you but you then go through uh stark periods where you renounce it like it's same.

Not true.

I know it's true.

I quit I quit drinking frequently. I quit smoking frequently. Uh the last time I think you probably remember, I quit for Tw almost two years. Squid pot. And then of course Willie. Willie hat. And he had many times tried to get me to you're you're staying focused and Yeah, you you're being uh okay, I'll I'll have a little I ran into Willie and he had I'd already had the experience countless times where Willie kept trying to

Yeah.

And and so he had offered it to me several times. Willie and anyway, so finally I win this big hand and I'm like Yes, right. Boom. He he's sitting next to me, just hands out the pen and I'm like, fuck it, you know. And he goes, Welcome home, son.

Yeah. But I thought he was the one who couldn't smoke partner. Okay. I remember backstage. There was all this Michigan about like, you know, don't don't don't uh tempt Willy and don't uh offer Willy keep away from Willie. They walk in and Willie is smoking a joy. He you know, but I guess he uh is embasimba.

Well it's just you know, like he smoked cigarettes from he when he was like eleven or something. He and he smoked it for whatever, forty, fifty years and and and he he really wanted to quit. And so what he did was he rolled up like twenty joints. emptied all the cigarettes, put all the he uh yeah, put all the joints in the cigarette packet. Every time he wanted a cigarette he smoked a joint. So he replaced completely the cigarettes but he was smoking

I you know, I was about to just ask you that question and what a depressing answer. I was actually hoping it'd be from you, a hippie, always looking on the bright side. That's leak. But true. You're right.

It's true.

You know, we may yeah, but don't you think um that if we keep talking long enough we can convince ourselves of the opposite? No, I'm kidding. But don't you think there is a um different much different effect Pro only smoking I mean you don't smoke all day long, right? No. When you s even when you smoke. I don't either.

I didn't smoke today'til just now.

I didn't smoke at all.

Yeah, well you're very disappointed. I'm not I'm not right dis you know, I'm not like you. Many times I've passed you a joint and you're like uh not right now, blah blah blah. If someone passes me a joint Right. I'm ingesting it. Unless I'm doing an interview. Right. And the only person I've done an interview high with is you. That last interview, I was so high and so drunk, my God, we had to cut like forty five minutes of that thing out.

Oh I'd like to see that. As the rabbi said, I'd like to see the uncut version.

Yeah.

Good night, everybody. As the pedophile rabbi said. That's an ego there's a better version of that joke. Okay. Uh well Uh shit, I was gonna ask you something important. Uh

Yeah.

There you go. Who's that now? Beautiful. Who is that?

Andy Circus, you know, he did he played Gullum. He's known for

Oh.

Doing these uh he di he was uh Caesar in uh in uh the apes movies. And uh he he's just sort of phenomenal physical actor, but he's also just a great actor. just generally. I I did a play with him in London, uh uh Ulster American and uh oh my god, is he amazing.

But this is a cartoon?

But yeah, the animal farm's a cartoon. And I play Boxer the horse. Um so I'm going they're they're they're gonna

I'm not sure I ever got around to animal farm. T I know what it is. I know it's Orwell. Yeah. And I know it's a well, I guess I don't. What a it's a sly commentary on

Yeah, on What's I I used to always think it was about Russia, but now I equally think it's about America. You know, it it's ultimately about the American American American

Yeah.

Yeah, Big Brother kinda just taking over and every you know, everything being controlled by Big Brother. Pretty much where we're at.

Sa so same theme as nineteen eighty four, his other book. Yeah. Okay.

It it yeah.

So you think this is a

This is an allegory, you know, animals and uh yeah. But it's really well done. The the movie is I think fantastic. I I love it. And I think well

Well I guess now you've done one hundred and one movies.

Well you mean in terms of my experience?

No, no. Yeah. Trying to imagine if I had done a hundred movies, would I actually remember all of them?

Wow.

Some of them must have been a blur.

I think there's uh Several of'em that I'm not proud of, but there's quite a few That I am proud of, very proud of. Some some I think are are great.

What are you not proud of?

No, I I don't wanna

Because I Yeah, you heard that.

Right. But uh

Well, I think your your batting average is quite good. You know, thank you. I mean no b nobody I mean, especially if you've been to the plate a hundred times. I mean you know Yeah. Yeah.

By the way, you know

It's hard to make a movie.

Babe Ruth was not just the you know was not just the home run king. He was the strikeout king. So, you know, I might be in the Babe Ruth category. Equally, home run key I got some home runs, but boy do I have some strikeouts.

Oh or that or or Willie May?

Oh right.

Yeah.

Right. Well Willie Mays probably had better average than

that story where he brought you back into smoking pot.

Oh Willie Nelson, yeah.

That was really now

He was saying William.

No, we were talking about Willie Main's though.

I don't remember saying Willie Nick.

No, but you only said Willie, so it was left open. But uh You can hear that bird, can't you?

Oh they're they they they add a lot to the ambience, I may say. Yeah. There's some jealousy going on up.

You know. Not to be all infomercial about it, but This place is amazing and if you haven't visited it and you're in the LA area, dial eight hundred.

Gotta get high.

Dial eight hundred fucked up. It is it is amazing. I mean there's no pot store like this where the the fr the front is beautiful like a Pot store and then there's this whole this jungle in the back with all these cabanas and the fucking birds. I mean, bird is yep, like a madman have a bird? I don't think so. We have a bird.

Yeah. parrots, macaw We got the whole dilly dally.

And you know

Yeah.

We're here smoking a lot. Wouldn't you wanna be in a place where this this good smoke vibe, you know? I mean, um it's like you go to the zoo, you might see the polar bear. Yeah, the or maybe the polar bears not there that day'cause he's, you know, making a movie in Malta.

Yeah.

Or maybe the polar bear is just sleeping in the back. But you but the y there's a chance you'll see the polar bear.

But there's no other um, you know, dispensary or or place like this you're gonna go to and you're gonna see Koy fish. You know, you're gonna see macaws, you're gonna see, you know, the greenery, the fauna. I but like to me, uh you know, I just wanted and and that's why I wanted you to be a part of it, because I just wanted to have what I consider to be the most the greatest dispensary in the world that you would love to just sit down and get high at this place.

Yeah. It is really quite a black mark on our records that we've marketed it so badly. It's a good thing.

Well that's that's my fault.

It's it's my fault too and we're we're rectifying the Yeah.

Rectify this.

Yeah. Yes. The rectum of this situation has been destroyed. in rectification because enough is enough and it's no, i I I do it for the people because I feel if the people haven't experienced this, they're missing out. It's all about the I know you're the men of the people. The people love you. You're the You'll always be that guy from Cheers who, you know, good old Woody and you know, you can slide on anything'cause you just, you know, you're good old Woody.

But I don't know. I I I kinda more admire your thing, dude, because you you are just so fearless. You know, the stuff you say, the stuff you do. I gotta say and I don't always agree with you. As we know, we do fight on some things. But by God, man, you just say what you feel and Honestly, it's not that I don't do that, but I don't do it like you. You know, like uh I I Yeah, you you you you say stuff that I I'm like oh oh God bless Bilma. God bless Bilma.

I'm I live alone. Uh all my energy goes toward healing America. I don't have time for a social life. Women I would love to have had a pass with women, but I just passed on the whole thing so I could help America. That's what was important to me. Helping America.

It's nice that your healing, you know, was not interfered with by you know, terrible uh uh distractions like women. You're just doing the right thing. Focusing on America. You're the you're a healer.

If only I could have had all the romances you have, your roster. Yeah.

It's him now.

No. You think it's jealousy on my part. It's just weirdness on your part. Like and I must say your your always your top guys, uh, Bert, are like the ones like you, like who don't like shoes. Like you know, Owen and McConaughey, you know, like li i

Texans.

A bare barefoot is a whole different category.

It's true. Yeah. I mean I love those guys.

You showed up at my house. With barefoot. I mean, just shown up at my house is another issue. Huckleberry.

I know.

You know, like Hey, can we go paint to a fence today?

You have a little bit of that curmudgeon thing where you're like, Is this cocksucker in my fucking head? Like what what the fu you know it's Sunday, there's no one around. I'm just coming to say hi, smoke a joint and get out of your hair. What the fuck? What the I like my alone time.

I love that about you, that you're you're still living in Indiana in nineteen sixty-five. We all would be so much better off if we were, well, not all of Just the white people, that's true. You can't ever say that we'd there were things that were better in that era, but they will always be compromised because we didn't include everybody in them.

And are we now?

So much better, but still still that issue, of course.

We're not gonna talk about where the nation's headed.

Well, that's that's the great thing about relaxing with a marijuana cigarette, uh, if you will, jazz cigarette. As the more sophisticated of us called it when we used to go out a Catalina. Oh it's you don't ever clip off the end where it's like dirty like that? So you're not smoking ash? I always have a scissor.

Yeah, I saw you doing that.

Yeah, yeah. I always circumcise it before

Something about that I kinda liked it. It just felt like cleaner, you know.

Cleaner when you did that, not when you didn't

When you did that.

Well of course because I cut off that part that look it's over.

It just suddenly looks like a brand new joint. Right.

Yeah it's not it's not a hard concept for you stoners here on my YouTube channel as we're learning how to uh smoke a joint. Uh get a scissor and before you do You know, do something where you tell everyone in the world that you know that you like scissors,'cause that's really important. Like, like, okay. And and cut the end off, but we don't have the scissors. Oh.

You're achieving pure you're into a pure stoner state.

Yeah.

You're cutting that thing in half. Start around the black part.

Well I am.

Okay, good.

Set you back.

Well it's not one.

Uh I'll do it.

You do it, sir.

Um

Did you think that was too gay if you were to lean in like this? So you were No. I what what is your homophobia? So I have I have maybe. You know that

Yeah.

What do you mean? What do you got the crazy homophob I'm sorry to the your public that they that he they have to deal with your homophobia on it?

I uh I'm not saying any of that. I'm just saying it is. It's uh you're a unique kind of friend. I mean, you know, I mean look. Which one of us looks more gay today? Me. I look good. You look like a blind hippie who got dressed in the goodwill store. I look good.

Look at this weather.

Look at those pants.

Look at these fancy pants.

Oh those are fancy?

Fancy pants.

I thought they were pajamas.

Oh dude. Actually I think pajamas is the best way to go through life.

in that, you know, hippie very n well, very also in very natural fabrics.

Yeah.

You know. Yeah. You know no no no pinky rings. You know.

Thanks.

Nothing yeah, nothing too vague, but

Nothing vague, you see.

Do you have do you have one of these? Those aura rings that

Oh it changes color depending on your

Mode or That's a moon ring, fool. It's not nice. Well I tell you what it does, Clem.

Hi, what the fuck is that?

It it somehow looks inside my body w when I'm sleeping and it tells me like when I fell asleep, how good I was sleeping. And when I wake up the next day I look at it and I go Wow. Yeah, that's what I figured. I gotta go night to sleep.

I gotta get more sleep.

I didn't get a good night's sleep, and there's a proof. I that's why I'm so mad at you, woman. I didn't get sleep, but here it is.

D D D Southern really well. I'm proud of you. Now let me ask you a question. That ring is that one of those rings that says okay, you had X amount of sleep, woke up this number of times in the night. Hãy subscribe cho kênh Gõ Để không bỏ lỡ những video hấp dẫn

I agree. That's why I'm doing it.

I haven't got one yet. How does it how does it even I mean what's the

We we will never know that. How does it do it? We w but that's not our area. When you you'd have to have degrees in biology and physics and chemistry.

You must be re uh your heartbeat ch uh changes you know, your heartbeat changes when you're in deep sleep and it must be gauging

You know what? We could uh we are conjecturing about how it does

Yeah.

only be comedy fodder for every truly scientifically educated person to like look what these two idiots

Forty five scientists just said this fucking idiot.

Fucking show business douchebangs.

Why would you even think that? Oh my god.

No, I mean we cannot know. We cannot know things. We cannot know other sports. We can we cannot. We it's faith. It's it's not really that different than Christianity. I just believe it. But it's true. I I fucking uh have no way to check this. Um every morning I'm like, Who what does the oracle say? Ha ha ha. Oh, and it's like it I I wouldn't mind if it didn't have to like write me a note that you are trying to like were just-

What's it say?

You know, oh, I guess you didn't get such great sleep last night. Don't worry about it. Tomorrow'll be better. It's like Fuck off. Yeah. You know, I d everything is just Treating me like I'm a a a very delicate flower. Like I'm a piece of China that could

Just tell me straight.

Yeah it's just my night's sleep. I can take it. Jimmy doing straight doc. You woke up in the middle of the night.

How is your what is your sleep usually?

I mean it's a bit of a struggle. Um

Because your mind's always going.

Because it first of all, as you age it d uh that's everybody, pretty much. As you age It gets harder to sleep. You have not found that?

Just like yeah I know I've found that. But I'm trying to verify. That's like a general thing that happens.

Absolutely. Okay. Yes.

Up for probably Two, three hours and I and I read.

So when you wake up in the middle of the night you get it.

No I don't get up, but I just grab my book and I read.

But you but you fully react to

I fully I just I'm I know well no. I give it a little while and I see am I gonna go? No. Then I'm not. Okay. I'm gonna start reading. Wow. And I've been on a Dickens kick. I'm I'm fucking so infatuated with Charles Dickens. I love Charles Dickens. I've read I i I started earlier this year, I read a biography about him and then I said, you know what, how much I don't think I've read any maybe I've read Christmas care. I don't know what I've read of Dickens. And then I started on uh

Excellent.

No, David David Copper feedback.

Yeah.

And then, you know, Great Expectations, Taylor, Two Cities, uh I'm reading now um Well I read I read Little Dorot um

Maybe go to a Dickens movie. Of course.

Well I would love to do a Dickensman.

Older now, so you'll have to play Mr. Trombley. Yeah.

Reallyxes with that one.

Wait, I got it.

Congratulations.

If you like bad grandpa, bad dickens.

Yeah. Yeah, I realized the w the book that I was trying to think of went right out of my literally I'm I'm Five hundred something pages into this book. And I had trouble remember yeah, it's the old curiosity shop and it is amazing. Like the the way he cause you know he wrote serially, right? So like every month he's he's putting in another chapter.

Well,

That's not changing after it comes out.

Serially Serially, which is really a tar h horrible word to have to pronounce, but he wrote in serials to the point where they were like knocking on the door. Mr. Dickett, because they were published. weekly in a paper. So people followed it in the paper. And they needed it. We're going to press and we need next the next chapter. Transcript to put in the paper. So that's how the book was written.

This is the level of genius. He's the Shakespeare prose to me.

something about working under pressure.

Well it does but a lot of it.

Some people it does make them better.

But what's amazing is the fact that he could'cause he has very intricate plots, you know, with this character you don't you find out in the first chapter, doesn't really pay off to the fifteenth chapter. Like All the stuff that he has to work out before he starts on that first sworn. Okay, I got that one done. Now I go to the next one. And then sometimes he'd have two going at the same time and he'd be putting on little uh theater performances with his kids at home and he'd be i uh you know

S um such a massive amount of creative output. Like one like you know, he was the Beatles of his era.

What was his personal?

In terms of his creativity.

What was his personal life like?

wild personal life because he had he he had a wife he was with like forty years and they had like ten kids. And then he fell in love when he was like Maybe fifty or something. Yeah. Relatively young man ran fell in love with this eighteen year old.

You know there are twenty five year olds going

Well I wasn't trying to say he was young, but I was just trying to say'cause he d I think he died at fifty eight or something, or maybe younger, fifty two. In love with this eighteen year old girl kicks his wife to of f of thirty years to the curb. And then

Did he s get with the eighteen year old after the they lost the baby?

I think they still they were s they were together but it was never publicly it was all everybody was talking about

Maybe it was just like a situation ship, you know, like when I'm working on a new book I'm not gonna have time for you, okay? Okay. I'm Charles Dickon, bitch. So, you know, when I'm there, I'm there, okay? But I'm kind of a big deal in the literary world.

Mm. Um the biggest. Yeah. No, but can you imagine like that that maybe that

Oh yeah.

It's just a masterpiece. It's it's that might be my well, I don't know. There's they're also great. Sorry. And I re and I read um You know, the the Pickwick Papers. Uh man, I think I've read probably ten of his books, you know. And I got the next one key uh you know, queued up.

So what is it what w like if you had to say to somebody like quickly Like what is it that gets you so much about him?

Well I mean this guy packs more in one sentence than anyone ever did. just more m you know, emotional impact and value and descriptive genius like the way he could describe things and people and differentiate between the characters and And get you excited about the and and the plots are so you're just on the edge of your seat with

A book. You want to know a numb. A book. What is this book? I mean, that we're very close to that. We're

Well where there'd be no books anymore.

Well, I mean a large part of the uh population

Just listen to

Like a the idea of a book. is something that's v very alien. And they're not even shy about making jokes about it. They're like a book. They just it just they do they are not the generation that has that kind of attention span. They were raised on phones and shit and it's just not gonna happen. So there'll always be ten, twenty percent of people who will be into everything a little, you know, of more intellectually nutritious value.

So you think most people. No really.

People are are beyond. You know how I know? I I I love this guy. Uh I don't know him well, but we started to be friends. He's a comic Nate Burgazzi. He's huge now.

Oh yeah, very handsome young guy. Yeah. One of your boyfriends, huh? You never talk about your fucking boyfriends. Oh, I know who you're talking about. Very funny, very cute.

Ha ha Okay. We'll be right back. Um no. But I see what you're saying. Um he did this bit I saw him on Saturday Night Live. I've never seen him before. And it was all about like books and like the id how preposterous it was that, you know, so many words and you can't we have a break where I get to a page where there's nothing on it, you know.

expose myself to that subject while I'm in such a deep level of sadness at what you just Told me like the thought that people don't read and that that's a thing of the past. Really Such a big part of my life. I literally I read Many times a day.

Yeah.

I read it in the night a couple.

I do too.

You know, I'm constantly first thing in the morning. Like if I the thought of not reading

Yeah, because we're old. Yeah, me too. I know. We're old, that's what we do.

But that's an old thing, really?

Yes. That's what I'm trying to tell you. That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you.

That's what I'm getting. That's what I'm getting.

Just like you saw Charlemagne got in all that trouble'cause he said opera and ballet, I don't want movies to become like opera and ballet where it's, you know, just a very small group of people who go And they got all this shit. You must know this.

Oh I heard about that.

Yeah.

Well I mean I don't know I don't know.

So uh You know, I I I would defend him first of all, you know, do we have to pick apart every fucking thing? No, we don't have to, but everyone does. And it's not untrue. I mean, ballet? Do you go to the ballet? I don't. Uh do you go to the opera? I don't. a a select small group of people still love it, fantastic. You will go. And by the way, you pay for it because, you know, you can like get a lot of money for things like symphony orchestras because that's the art.

You know, but you really have made cynicism the ultimate humor. Like you made it it's beautiful.

I love you.

I I see I feel I love that you can be cynical but so funny at the

Oh, thank you. I love you too. What what were we talking about?

Yeah. Yeah.

The art.

I realize now we're

Ballet ballet and opera. And you know, I'm sure they're both very beautiful. Um, but you know, not my taste. I wasn't ra I was raised middle class and and you're a fucking hillbilly. I mean, it's just really far. This is really far afield from you. I mean I at least knew what the opera was. Y you thought it was the grand old opera. Um So um but the R

Oh you son of a bitch.

What are we talking about?

talking about what a fucking hick I am is what we're talking about. Hey I'm happy I'm gonna accept it. I And I'm happy and proud of it. I don't think my mother would like to hear me say that.

People are so mad at me'cause Kid Rock is my friend. Fuck you. I'll be the friends with whoever I want. Yeah, I l uh you know, i we have to stop this fucking

Well, yeah.

Judgy, judgy, judge. Judge judge judge. Judge Judy if effection of America.

But yeah, see so you guys get we're we're not in a studio, we're at an actual venue called the woods

And

Right here on Santa Monica Boulevard. Anyway, that was a

But d doing, by the way, what so many people want to do is like go to someplace. We don't even have pop, we can buy it right there. And then go and chill out in some place where you feel safe.

Sit right here in the Ganja Gangarden, the most beautiful place. I mean, look at these people. These people love this place.

I I walked in today and I said, Oh wow, business is good. Yeah.

It's it's slowly picking up, but I tell you what, there's nothing we can do when the government is charging thirty-five percent. Like they can't They can't tax us thirty five percent. Well it's not right.

I believe Governor Newsom is um uh I don't do drugs but

All the kids are doing.

I suppose I could try it once. What do you just you you suck in? Is that uh Is that right? Or is it more of a is it more of a draw? Would you describe it as a draw?

By God, that was sexy.

Smooth, refreshing flavor. Even the bird likes it. Yeah. It can take it.

These poor people

Do you think this bird this bird is is fucking hot? Smoke's coming right. Is that a bad thing?

I think it's great. Wouldn't you wanna be high if you were a bird? By the way, not a bird that's flying off into you know

But is he in a cage?

Well no, they take'em out. They take'em out.

That's true.

Two. They don't fly away. They don't fly away.

Is there food here?

Huh?

Yeah.

Are you angry?

No no, I don't mean for us personally. I mean like as a bit we're talking about the No for the b oh for the for the big

Let him eat cake.

And then the people can give to the birds whatever they want. Oh yeah. You don't want to. You were giving the f the food to the birds first. And then with naked war went to the people. And I said, no, that's a bad business model. Get this vote to the people first. And then after the birds. What they don't want. We fought about it. We punched each other. I got it. Oh boy.

That's smart they put those there.

Eventually we'll be wiping.

Well I I think it's a good thing. that people will see that marijuana doesn't hurt you.

Doesn't affect you.

No it doesn't affect you ill is a really great way to say it. Yeah. It's very Dickinsonian, if I may. If I may maybe lift it.

I've tried. You can't kill yourself. No.

I mean.

Try as hard as you can. Now cigarettes you could do it, you know, alcohol, every other drug. So there's some positives.

So how are you gonna uh transit this uh Dickens love into like

Oh I love that idea. I don't know if they ever did the old curiosity shop. Do you know if they did that'cause

I don't know that one.

Yeah, and it's not w not well widely known.

It's not widely known by me.

The question is okay, one of those people downstairs is gonna look up Have they done the old Curiosity Shop as a movie? But by the way, I think it should be a series because you could a limited series. But you could

Yeah.

So you could make something.

What's it about? Why is it good?

Well, it's just about a a a a a girl named Nell little Nell who uh childs

I heard of that.

And her grandfather.

I've heard a little now. No, I th I didn't know it was from this book.

Oh okay. I thought you were not a good thing.

I've heard of the character, but I didn't I know.

Okay, that's in my little no Okay, I I thought that is even beneath you. Like even you.

It's the family and friends event at Shoppers Drug Mart. Get 20% off almost all regular priced merchandise. Two days only. Tuesday, April 28th, and Wednesday, April 29th. Open your PC Optimum app to get your coupon.

Okay, tell me about your

You're not going to be able to do it. So what is who is she?

Then she's just a child really and but she cares so much for her grandfather and she does everything she can for him.

Thank you. Okay.

You know, like it's by the way, I c I always know what you're thinking before you think it. Every time.

Huh, well then you should do detective work on CBS. There's no shame in it, by the way. Although they all want to be true detective. That that was really the one you did with your boyfriend was really great.

Thanks.

The one you think is your brother.

You know we've done another one called Brothers. Yeah.

I know. Um but uh you think he's your real brother.

Yeah, I think he might be. You want me to have I told I've told you why, of course.

Uh but I mean it fascinates me'cause you don't look at anything alike. No, I mean I mean you're both, you know, nice looking

What do you mean we don't like anything alike? Is are you just are focusing on the one on the follicle issue?

No, no, no, no. No. I it just I just see they don't look like brothers. No, but it could be, but boy.

I wish the wifey was here. She could show you a little thing that's at the beginning.

Did I ever tell you I I I think George Clooney is my dad. No, I mean uh that c it c anything could be. But what are the chances of two such giant talents in one family? Okay.

Yeah.

No no no it's no no no. So

I'll let you do. I know you're a germaphobe, so

I'm not a germaphobe. Who gave you that idea?

You and Steven, right.

Stephen Wright. What? What do you mean lumping with the about what? I don't get

Yeah. What's his name? That comedian very big

No.

No, uh yeah. No. But I mean like he's big, his movements he's a germophobe.

Oh, how many men do you men down? Howie's a great guy. Howie's just.

I've never I think I met. What's he like?

He's the best. We should have dinner all three three of us. Yeah.

I'd love to.

I know.

He's funny. I got to see him live before, but I never met him.

Everybody loves Owie. He's one of those he's like you. He's one of those types

Well what does that mean?

You know me, I'm jealous of your

Finally.

Every fucking thing I say. People like, you know, shit on it and like attack me, but because you're a f quote unquote movie star. Oh. You Oh, I see. You I skate. You skate.

I thought I got well attacked for you know, what happened back uh the S and L thing. Got pretty attacked.

Everybody loves what What he's the guy from Cheers who we all love and he's just always good old Woody. You should uh you know what? You should play more of that.

You mean like psycho?

Just e uh bad guys.

I think I played a lot of bad guys. And you ever see Out of the Furnace?

Oh. I've talked to you about it before, you forgot.

I did. Yeah. Okay, I'm owning it.

That now that's yeah, that was a great performance. It's you know, as opposed to, you know, the guy who c can't help but love uh you know, that character is it's despicable, it's awful, it's terrible. It's more the real Woody I Ha ha ha.

Uh that's true. We have we've had a few terse moments, you and I. But that's friendship.

So exactly.

How long have I known you? Thirty?

I don't know.

Something years.

Not that's ridiculous.

No At least since nineteen ninety, so that's thirty six years.

Well that's impossible because I'm forty-one, so believe what you want to believe. I identify as someone who's forty one. Why not? If you can if you can do it with it everything else, why can't you?

Yeah, yeah.

I f I I don't feel that different.

You're right.

When we were forty one, what were we doing? This this exact thing.

Well, you know what? Everything would be cool if it wasn't for the roadmap above the net. That's where you start to see little telltale signs of aging. You could never know. If you look from your from your feet up. But once you get to the neck

You know what? I know what you were saying, but no, you you do look somewhat different. You're in all the parts of your body. You know what? The one part of your body that if you took a picture of it Like forty years ago and yesterday y I couldn't tell the difference. What? My dick. I'm not kidding. It looks the same. Doesn't yours? I mean, I think that's a good thing

How are you kidding? I should've known.

But it's true! It's true. It doesn't look it doesn't look

Or you know maybe it's like the armpit or

No.

My dick.

It's true. Right. Because every other part like I'm maybe you know, I'm seventy or a few years younger, maybe uh I think I think you'll start to say very soon that it's n yeah. For a while it's just the neck and it's you know, you will just see like, Wow, th that didn't used to look like that or whatever it is. And it's just part of it. You know, I just thank uh Jesus as I do for everything that He's a uh allowed me to at seventy still basically live the life I've always lived. As

Jesus. Thank you, Jesus, for helping.

As you do.

You know, but by the way, like what are the most important components of health?

Most important Okay, here's what I found.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I felt, you know, yeah, I mean, look. I lived r rough, I think a little bit

That's a nice euphemism for what you've lived.

Well, I mean what I'm saying is I use my body like a car, taking me both near and far. Uh it's a lyric from a George Harrison song. Not one of his greater ones, but uh lyrically anyway, but Uh I did. I used my body like a car. You know, when my body allowed me to have like 35 drinks a week, I used to do it. I could function and do that. My body would never allow that now.

Is that five and eight?

It probably works works out to that, yeah. You know, might be eight one night, eight another night. Why did you do that too?

I'm still I don't think well I mean what what's the n

اشتركوا في القناة

Give me the figures, love me.

What Yeah, you may be made of sterner stuff than me, though.

No

I'm not sure.

I I honestly I don't like to I don't I don't I love drinking. I love drinking and I love smoking.

I love drinking too. I love drinking and smoking together.

Me too. Yeah. You know what it is? It's because it's a quite it's a nice balance. Is it little yin yang and

Well, what it is is they're drugs and we're drug addicts. Getting good drugs.

No. I don't have a phone, right?

Anyway I I I sent you a I sent you a telegram about this for God's sake. Ha ha ha ha. Don't you read my telegram? I find that personally insulting.

Your Morse code efficiency, I love it.

I have a uh little monitor on my desk in my office that tells me what the air quality is. in my h in you know, in the house. But also outside. Sometimes they're very different.

Yeah.

Well un it it's unfortunately we live in LA and no, I mean many days it's like, you know, i if it's good it's the uh the the face in the thing is is green and he's smiling and if if it's, you know, orangey You know, it's like bad and then there's a red where it's like When you smoke pot in the room you get You get the red angry face.

He wants to get a lot of the red p Like this here's this motherfucker again.

This thing does not like five. It really does.

Just Jesus, you're back?

Uh

I just you were back last time I did.

But listen, it says

Right.

Like you look it also it also has like a little crawl there. Congratulations, you've achieved excellent air quality. It's congratulating me.

On the air.

Which I would feel.

I got no smart.

I made a small contribution, but I don't want to take off Take all the credit.

So I didn't fire one up in the last fun. I get a little pat on the back.

Oh, maybe it was mostly me. You know, I I qu

All the lean does.

I I closed that window. That was that was a big part of it.

And dude I love seeing you when you get nicely baked. It's perfect.

I don't know what you're talking about. I don't do drugs.

What am I?

And uh

Fetched is what that was.

Yeah. I fake it for the camera like Dean Martin used to pretend to be drinking. Yeah.

He was drinking like apple juice. A cheater.

Cheating mother for

A little bit.

I love Dean Martin but yeah, you're totally right. The he cheated. He cheated.

Well it was a character.

Yeah. Yeah. actually drinking or smoking or anything like that. Not while he's work.

You make your living playing characters. Right. You're gonna begrudge him his one character of you know, everybody a lot of money and the gold diggers. I mean, it it's really funny.

Yeah, you know the wifey poo and I did watch a little bit of that. No, we somehow got some D V D this is years ago.

Yeah.

But I don't remember that there was all girls gathered round them.

Well I mean Dean you know, his character was uh b swinging and playable, even though he was married and he would thank Jeannie and the kids and but you know, it was kind of a wink wink. I must be getting some pussy. I mean, look on fucking Dean Martin. I look awesome. I'm the most relaxed man you've ever met in your life. I just look like a fucking good time. And he was. My mother loved that shit.

Did she have a thing with them?

Ten o'clock Thursday. That's a very adult hour.

Right.

No ten o'clock Thursday, like and dad wasn't home yet and Dean Ma I'm sure Um nothing I'm not saying she had an affair with Dean Martin, but I mean he was I as a kid I lo I thought, oh, I'd like to be that tan, handsome, a bunch of fucking chicks around you. It's like Oh it was on and

have a who could have a better life than Dean Martin. I mean you're also getting to sit next to Frank Sinatra laughing, trading jokes, telling stories

He made a virtue of not working because the gag was he never came in for rehearsal. So they would just the that's why the girls. They would lead him to the w you know, or the spot and they'd prop him that what? Right, and they would prop him up in front of a cue card he never read before. So when he fucked up the cue card, that was like the comedy of the show.

Right.

It was genius. And genuine. It read as you know, people like genuine even more today. Kids are stupid about like lots of stuff, but they're savvy about what's real.

Why people love Snoop. Now um

Great.

He's genuine. Snoop Dog.

Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok

No, you just I thought of it. Uh

Are you friends?

But you just

Are you afraid of it?

I don't I don't I mean I've met him and hung out with him a couple of times.

Let's hang out with him. He'll come over and see. You know what?

I'll tell you a story.

I can't get him over to do the podcast and I want to. But it but he'd come for you.

I've had more than one rapper say, When uh they know I know you, oh I'd love to party with that guy. Really? Yeah.

Well, Ready? Send Kendrick Lamar in

No, they want they they want to party with Woody. And that's why we're here at the woods. Because

It's a beautiful

Yeah I do.

It's eighty two seventy one Santa Monica Boulevard.

I mean, even just being in the next bungalow, you'd have to just the vibe would be a great thing for you. I I just think um People know You know, how much you put into this to make a vision of a pot store that wasn't like the other, you know, McDonald's

Right.

Hot story. Where whatever, I'm not naming names. I'm just saying if you order in from McDonald's uh Supreme fucking food there. I don't know, I'm part of the rich elite. How the fuck would I know? Eat a McDonald's. I don't eat with the comet people.

I have three chefs.

Ha ha ha. I'm with the Paul Anka, fools.

Oh dude, Paul Anchor.

Remember you? I had dinner with him last night. Did you really for two hours, it went like by like so fast. So we go out to dinner. Oh.

Oh great.

Oh he's s he's such a fucking mob boy. He's awesome.

I've read a lot of songs.

That's pretty good. Maybe I'll put it.

He's great.

Maybe I'll put that into your uh Mark Twain speech. Woody Harlison has graciously consented to be one of the presenters. At the Mark Twain Awards on june twenty eighth, where I will be receiving this honor, unless Trump fucks it up again. Which is completely possible.

Isn't it nice Trump's allowing you in?

I think

Yeah.

I loved it that they they tried to block it there and uh of course I think he absolutely still could if he wanted to. So I I'm just thankful. And I I I love it that, you know, he he takes the game seriously. Like, no, I'm gonna block this guy. Yeah. But I know that on June twenty eighth, it's gonna happen. We're gonna be at the Kennedy Center and I couldn't uh be more appreciative, honestly, that you are doing this for me. This is like um

Especially for someone who lost thirty three ME. Not a gag number. It's kinda nice to get

Is it really thirty?

Like a gag.

Zero wins. Correct.

Don't even show it. Don't go there, don't go there. Oh people have gone there.

Yeah, but I mean she went a many many times.

For very different reasons.

of the the superlative nature of your product, motherfucker. What the fuck is wrong with you? You can't allow me to mention some poor Susan whatever name is. Susan Gucci.

I couldn't be happier right now because I heard you utter the words superlative nature of your product. Which is awesome. What a g pr thank you. twenty

Twenty how many years exactly?

Of what?

اشتركوا في القناة Well, no, sorry.

Real time, the name of my show. Yes I know it. Why? You think I'm an imposter? You think I'm AI? You think AI can do this? You think AI can get this high? Good luck, AI. Uh-oh. Just uh just ooh.

You got me on that one.

What did you ask me?

I was th w how the fuck am I gonna that's one of your m your minions.

No, no. How dare you?

And by the way, to all the minions downstairs I do apologize.

What were we t talking about? It's very important. It was very important to me. No, it was.

Was it

Couldn't

One of your highly paid assistants.

No, there's no one here but us.

By the way, that's by the way, can I give you credit? Like I'd assumed there would be people in the room.

Nevermind.

That's what

It's my vision of Club Random. No one that makes it all the difference. Yeah. And I was right. It's terrible.

Well, I mean it's it i it could uh ultimately end up good, but at least y you would have a consciousness that there's three other humans in the room. Now we know they're downstairs. They laugh every once in a while.

I'm not silent. I'm not saying other podcasts aren't good. Saying there are no other that are this, shall we say, lose?

Don't let me spit up my drink.

If you're looking for loose. And I know you are. Look no further. I said we are, man, we run a loose ship. We run a very loose ship.

We were on a very loose.

Yeah, we do here at the woods.

Remember last time? 喂

I can't wait for it.

Was it thirty-five, forty minutes we had to cut out of that?

I can't wait for our next business meeting.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Sacramento.

No, no, I I really mean it. Th this is like the dream of this place. And I I'm I haven't been here enough. Um But to be able to sit here like this, you know, it it It's funny, the more successful you get you uh when I was y in the clubs I saw my friends every night. And now I only see them whenever. And, you know, when I was younger, okay I didn't wasn't doing as well and this wasn't as good and this wasn't good, but I did a lot more of this.

Very conducive.

To do that. Like you're never too old to get very fucked up.

Yeah but also it's just the vibe is

I can teach you. I can teach you. Do a TED talk on it. How to get fucked up. Get the joy. Light it.

I gotta see this dog. It's a short sis.

That's all right, Tom.

Yeah. You did the thing, you light it, you inhale.

But you still uh you still go with the old joints, huh? You I mean you're you're not with the old

I gotta have a vape. Wifey Pooh has stolen my vaporizer and now I can't she doesn't smoke, by the way. She has it down.

But you're old school. You I mean you literally roll the joints like we're in the old West. Like you know? I I'm not knocking it. I'm just saying that it's very old school. I like it. It's it's old world.

Oh listen, Mr Fucking

Yeah. What? Why you want to like?

You're unbelievable.

Like

Roll up a fucking joint. You fucking rich cocksucker.

God, I mean.

Unbelievable. You are unbeliev to di it's I'm sorry to your fucking people, your audience, to have to witness the level of elitism that you aspire to.

Yeah.

Ha ha.

Well, you know, that's really funny coming from an A lister. I mean, it's like remember the scarlet letter? But this was a good A. Bad A was for adulteress.

And daughters. Which is a good A to you.

No, I'm just saying like that.

You're saying if in someone adults, that's a good A.

No, but because you're a movie star as if that's even a thing. Whew. So how many of the hundreds of

Are good.

Howron like were were not in the theater because they were like in the Netflix era.

Oh yeah. Like High Women. Yeah. That went right to Netflix.

Oh yeah. I liked it. I saw it.

Yeah, I thought it was great. And and you know, the first weekend, like 19 million people saw it. It was most seen movie. And that was when I was like and and by the way, for Netflix they see Never it's never one person watching, it's always at least two. And by the way, many times it's more, but every once in a while there's some loner like yourself. Any

Winning. Any winning. Any any opportunity. I love it.

I'm shot to the rib.

As I as I'm like literally being drawn into this story. And then the ship comes out. It's like I can I can feel the hook, but I still wanted the bait, you know. It was just sad.

But but uh so nineteen million makes thirty eight million. That's when I started to believe in you know, streaming and Netflix and But you know, there's a greedy people too, you know.

I mean.

Well, like prime. Like you're paying X amount a week or month, right? And yet they're still gonna charge you i for individual shows, which is a lot. Like n a high percentage of Valuable material. They also charge you for that to watch that. But hold it, I'm on prime, can't we just Can't we just agree? You just I'm on I'm on it. Remember, I'm on it. Um and then what's it, Fubo? Fubo?

But

Well it's called They charge you a hundred dollars a month.

What is it?

Football is is for like soccer and sports and Dude, it's huge. It's huge.

Yes.

If you're gonna watch soccer, if you're gonna watch even tennis, all kinds of stuff. All sports. They charge you a hundred a month and let's just say you wanna watch a repeat of that match, that Djokovic match you missed.

Yeah.

I ain't gonna charge you for that too. Right. And so they do the the the and and guess what? We're gonna throw commercials in there as well.

I mean

It's just the greed of it is insulting.

I know. I just never knew.

There's the white. Come here!

What is that? I just never knew you watched your penny.

Yeah. I

I share your outright. But I gotta say I was not monitoring like how how much I was getting fucked. by the streaming dudes for every movie uh but I'm sure you're right. I guess that's a sign of success. You know, I I I'm no like sort of mogul, but it doesn't really affect me if they're fucking me on like charging me for whatever it is. I just don't want to make it a hassle. I always want to say to them, you know, just tell me how much just tell me how much.

Don't make it.

Don't make it.

Fucking rich. It doesn't matter to you.

I'm not that right.

Tell me how much I don't give a

Well that's basically what I'm it's what I'm saying.

Okay.

Not that fucking

And and what about poor people who are just like everything they got for a hundred dollars a month and now

I know.

You wanna fucking charge me'cause I missed the first broadcast?

So what should I do? Like live my life and also have the feeling? I have a poor poor person. About everything that affects me is like, oh, but I can't be happy because a poor person don't be like Oh shit. Um fuck. So I have to pr it's ridiculous.

Uh you really have shown yourself to be such a Noble character right now. I'm so proud of you.

What what is that thing? What is that thing? What is that thing? You know what? What is that thing? What is that thing?

Wat is dat ding?

There's...

This is the variety. This is the same guys who do the volcano.

Do what?

It's the bo it's the best mobile uh

Oh, you're smoking pot out of it.

Vapor.

Oh. Looks like a phone in nineteen

That's where you really get the tape. This is the the stuff I was telling you about.

No I'm afraid of it.

Come on, Howie. You can do it.

No, does suck it's still going? Still going?

It's still going. Oh. Tastes is good, right?

Very good. Yeah. Very good.

That's the purple papaya.

Oh really?

Thank you for your interest.

Yeah, I'm a professional introvert. Can't you tell? What you do hoofy about? I hear the cast was like a family. No, I'm not sure. It is true though. You're all all your um everybody you ever work with is still your friend.

No, there's actually several that I feel really remiss that I haven't had much time with, that I wished I'd have stayed in touch with.

My co

Um

Like people who died and so you missed your chance?

Whoa, you went heavy there, didn't you? You went like

Yeah.

You know, okay.

Either.

Ribs, you shot.

No, no, I would just... Maybe you were friends with Gene Hackman.

Christ. You could know but Marlon Brando for example. Marlon Brando died. We were we were Uh uh we were you know, we were like friends and um

Wha how did you get to know him?

Okay. I'll tell you how I got to know him was there was this book written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Uh-huh. And the people who wanted to make this book Was Milo's foreman.

It just love in the time of cholera?

Uh You the reason remember when I was saying before this book I was being generic'cause I didn't quite remember what the

I think that might be the one. Yeah.

I think it was. Okay.

It w it was a movie. It was they did make a movie.

They did.

Yeah.

Okay. I'm not sure if it was that movie. But but so We so it was Sean Penn producing. Milos Foreman was in it. I was working with Milos at the time.

Was it direct? He said in it, directing. Huh? Millers Foreman directing.

To direct it.

He said he was in it. Okay. Directing.

I'm high as fuck too. And I partially blame you. Club random. So so I said so I knew they were going to meet Marlon and I'm like, Sean. And I also I am going with you. I'm going with you for this meeting.

Wow.

Like I have nothing to do with I'm going with you. And they both just kind of agreed, and I went.

Celebrity privilege.

With Barbara uh Barbara.

Oh, your wife you Huh? Celebrity privilege.

Okay.

Which is a thing.

No, but it wasn't celebrity for those are both my friends. Wasn't a celebrity favor to ask Sean Penn? He don't give a fuck about celebrities.

But as a critique. Yeah.

Oh yeah.

It's just a thing, celebrity privilege.

Okay.

be abused, this is not a case of abuse. That's what it is.

Okay.

And that's cool. You earned it.

How far down the side track road should we uh travel?

No. Anyway, tell me.

I mean I was telling a story, now I don't I now I feel like one of these guys.

Ha ha ha. No, tell me.

I beg

Marlon Brando.

Oh yeah no. So so what happened was I went to the meeting, right? And we're waiting downstairs in his house and it's very like kinda Japanese, you know, like it has the really like those Japanese blinds and everything and Allen. Yeah, this is up there where Jack Nicholson still is. Another how. And you got Helena and you got Jack or Helena Helena. Helena and Jack and and uh Brenda. And so we go into the room and we're waiting for him to come down. And finally he comes down in a kmona.

Right.

And he looks and he sees me for some reason out of the people assembled, which just three of us but he sees me and he goes uh you made me lie He was talking about this

Yeah, man.

interview I'd done the night before and he had seen it. Anyway We got on like a house of fire. Well and uh uh Fuck, that was cool, man. I forget what the whole point of the story is.

I mean I think the point of it is that like there's certain like some sort of like green gem inside certain people that makes it's reason why that the You know, are embraced by the public, Charlie Chaplin and I could name other people, you know. Right. Yeah, Charlie Jean. Really. I mean you know, and the and

That made sense.

Yeah, it was really old time. So, you know, something got to him. That that's great. I mean, you know, I I would like fucking be owning that story. Brando liked me.

Well, yeah. And we we hung out a few times and uh He was one of the most extraordinary humans I ever met in my life. So playful, just constantly ready to be

Well.

Playing. And um

Yeah, I guess if he let his guard down brilliant. Yeah. If he l if he was with someone who he let his guard down, he was probably amazing.

Yeah. You'd imagine that wouldn't be a director. You know. He always had a thing with the director.

Re oh really?

Yeah!

I mean fighting fighting with them?

Yeah.

I don't think he fought with Francis Ford Coppola.

No, probably not so much with him. But even then, you know, you've seen uh uh Um Which the one that was written about the Uh the wife he's down there. She knows what I'm talking about. She she wants to yell it up to me.

You call me elitist, but you you speak like Thurston Howell. Yeah, empty nesters.

Yeah. That's

Look on the bright side. You know, save you from doing bad grandpa. No, I kid. I want to see you do it.

By the way, bad grandpa, that was great.

We loved it.

Uh what's his name that great uh Johnny uh Johnny Knoxville?

America does good. Fucking comedies like that. You know, like adult comedies.

I know, but give credit where it's too. Johnny Knoxville Like an eighty year old man to perfection. In jad Grandpa. Hãy subscribe cho kênh Ghiền Mì Gõ Để không bỏ lỡ

Who are you? That's so your

You're an interviewer.

That's the fundamental

Mm-hmm. And we go and do talk what we're doing.

Like you're Edward R. Murrow in clown pants.

These are stylish. Yeah, I bet the people watching this right now are like, are you kidding me, Mr. Albion? These are fucking beautiful.

What are your hobbies? What are your hobbies?

Well I'll tell you, William, my real name He is actually Woodrow. After the president.

Are you ever named after Woodrow Wilson?

Yeah, the beautiful president who crushed all the unions. I love that. Man, he really he goes to my heart. World War One. He he did everything he could. He was great.

Hey, no. I know you're a big...

He was no Trump.

But I know you're being busy. Um he is uh he's one the Democrats might want to disown a little bit. I don't follow the news. I don't know. I watch TMZ and that's it. If if if they're not talking about it on TMZ, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Exactly. Can they pull their bus up here by the way every once in a while?

Absolutely. I can actually It totally will.

My man was

Okay. We'll talk up business later. But but I know. That's the problem. All ideas, no implementation. Right. Great move and then misses the layup. What do we say? A million dollar move and a ten cent shot. That's what we got here.

I actually agree with

Okay.

But by the way, if the government were were not charging us thirty five percent

We don't need to have a business meeting.

I mean, yeah.

What what is truly frustrating that we agree on is that uh this place it should be uh first of all, impossible to get into. Yeah. wanted to like have some after party or you know anything that has this aura you you there's nothing else like this.

Yeah.

But oh I know you do.

But I'm not big on promotion. I'm I'm just

You're too modest. That is really the that was the you are literally too modest. Like you never All your friends I mean I look I was here one night with Paul McCartney for all intimate gathering oh it was so great. Um and I could see why you would never want to he's just godlike to ever like impose upon with social media and that stuff. But but you have like your famous friends here all the time. There wouldn't be unh

Harrison Ford.

All of them. I've seen a million people here. Some of them are boyfriends. I mean it in a good way. I mean just like your your bro, I'm just saying you're you're like bro uh you know coven that you uh um or and then others are of of all stripes. You know, everybody you ever worked with I I whenever I go to a party, it's like, oh, Sal Mohamek, why is she here? Oh yeah, they did blah blah blah together. And they always stayed in contact or whoever it is. That's just, you know, your superpower.

Well, I

And now. But that is true.

I but excuse me, I don't want to interrupt your interruption, but I uh I was thinking you know, it's like incredible like these experiences you have when you do a movie with someone or you do a show with someone. Right. And the intimacy and the level of like you know, just the love that you feel for if I mean optimally, you you feel this love for the other people. You know, like those three guys. You know what I mean?

I love that picture. Yeah.

I love that.

Not that we ever did a movie together, but but I remember from my acting days in the eighties. You know, I did enough movies that I mean the uh uh uh D C Cab won eleven Academy Awards. DC Cap. Okay. But uh

Eleven?

Yeah. Um I do remember Of course and you know, if you're doing a uh shot on camera as opposed to like a sitcom, you know, kind of episodic TV show, those are long movie hours. And anytime you are like put in a situation where all you do is Beyond the set or sleep. That is like your life. And those people, you you become very close to people in a very short amount of time.

Yeah.

You know, like after a week. And then it all ends. And this these this bonding that was like so intense is now

No, you don't see him for a long time. Forever.

Yeah.

That's the weirdest part of the whole program.

Yeah, you're always falling in love and then getting divorced.

Yeah.

You know.

And and not just with the other actors or director, uh the crew.

Oh the the crab service

So bad. The craft serves you don't what do you have to know his name?

We did a movie. We did a movie a we a movie of the week together in nineteen eighty eight and I'm telling you I missed that guy this very day. He always knew to put the cheese

Well you're such an elitist. I mean look at you. You're all bla y Mr. All Black. You know, you are you're dressed like this shirt, I promise you, fifteen hundred dollars. Like this fucking guy. Look at the guy, look at hey by the way, we were in the same shoes. Other than the minority clean, but you're we're wearing the same boots.

Yours probably some hippie knockoff. Mine's real cause I look good. Yours is some me yours are not this good. Those are like no

These are twice as good as you can.

So they're like from you know bamboo yak You're actually right. Right, exactly.

Those are what th those are felt they're from some poor cow. You don't give a fuck about it.

You know, if we eat if we if we eat it Why throw away the hide? I mean

So beautiful.

It's not. And look I'm a PETA board member. But it's not like there's pe we're not going to be able to do

Emphasis on the board.

It's like fighting with my little sister in nineteen sixty eight. Well, I mean my big sister.

You to give her that.

Anyway one project that you have coming up. So you you've got the animal movie and you've got your uh

Yeah.

Do you have any uh ch charities? Is that you'd like just to feel but bad about What are we not doing enough for? I mean I'm sure many many candidates

I love how you transition in

We're very lucky.

From just You know, crazy, you know, laugh a minute, just mistress.

Oh yeah. The most important thing in this business being profession I tell it to kids all the time. They they keep walking your way. And report me is a man on the street. But I want these kids to listen. I did a uh club random recently with two two kids. uh two like twenty year olds.

Okay.

It was so good.

But what about?

Well they're not going to be able to do

How'd they end up on the show?

Uh, I I I said I wanna do a of uh a club random and just with two, you know, not famous, just two kids because

Well

You know, they weren't these kids were very hip. Uh these were this is was the this was the good end of the generation. I I I say that because like they knew basic facts and many, many their age would not. Like I always use as a guide, ask a c you know, a twenty year old, a approximately how many people on earth? You'd think, you know As far as like being an aware human.

You got along great with your mother and your father.

Yes, uh well of course, you know, you're gonna beef with your par uh there for your fucking parents, but basically yeah. I mean, yeah, very fortunate that way.

Is this a good way to say goodbye?

I mean I always worry about it. Look, I can say it. No. Yeah.

So I can't. And by the way, look at the calf. Like how big is it? Like that's crazy how big this camera, can you guys see? Is I mean that's a big cat and it threw him off. Okay, hold it hold up. Howdy Oh yeah, this thread. Coke point. Charlie's Thuron, she she disapproves of toe pointing. But anyway What? Yeah, if he ever did that, if he'd pointed a toe for Charleese, she would she'd heckle you.

That's why the big problem on the what's the movies whose name we can't think of with Tom Hardy. Not Blade Runner not.

Уваженый... Why was it why doesn't one of your

It's just us.

No, and uh you know like

Yeah. This is not this is this is club random, this is not the woods. It just happens to be at the woods. My my game, my rules.

No I agree. Just uh Okay, you and me.

A I can't bail you out. But this is like such a stoner thing that

That we can't remember.

Between the two buts we can't remember the name of the that we bought.

Oh Blade Runner, you know Joe.

Is Harrison Ford in the year

No, but then they did a new incarnation of the

No, this it's just like, you know No, no, no. No, no.

Chew out! Chew out! Twenty five minutes.

Don't be a quitter

And no I'm not quitting.

Could you are.

Okay.

I I keep telling you it wasn't that. It was uh um I don't know, uh uh r didn't Mel Gibson do the first one? Mad Max. Absolutely.

Right, you're right, you're right. Okay, I apologize.

Mad man.

You're totally right.

That's

Mad Mac.

Yeah.

Where where Charlie's and Tom and

Yeah.

Relationship.

You know, I will say one more thing while we're here at the woods promoting this beautiful place.

We promote uh

Um but you know beautiful place they they keep trying to say marijuana is bad for you. Uh but it's w what? But it's it's i i you know, nothing is perfect for you. But it's just such a silly campaign, I feel. silly campaign that they they refuse to let go of. I mean, even liberal publications now p m you know, uh the plot isn't it's it's always uh Self inflating for them to take the contrarian view. You know, pot is not the harmless drug you think it is.

Well compared to alcohol.

Don't some people just have receptors like uh THC receptors that, you know, it's almost like we need that. Yeah.

I can't speak to those people.

No, uh uh Todd always talks about it. Like we have a recep you know, uh is it T H it would be uh T H C right? No we Like some people

not laughing at you. I'm laughing someone told me something really funny yesterday it just hit home, like I didn't realize how funny that joke was till now. Go ahead.

Yeah, I th I think there's like something I I don't know if it's the THC, but something in our body is uh, you know, endogenous to to like Well the outer.

Three minutes.

side introduction of THC. Right. So like there are people who smoke pot and they get sleepy, and there are people who smoke pot and they get paranoid. And there are people who smoke pot and have a much better time than they would if they had.

That's true. Right.

Yeah.

Um yeah. By the way, you're totally right. But also. That's what law enforcement used to say. What's wrong with euphoria? Is there something wrong with euphoria? Is there something wrong with a drug that makes you think differently? Is it when you look at things differently?

Is that what you said to a cop?

No, no, you don't want to say that.

You never say that to a cop. What you wanna do is show him your leg like that. It it always works with the cops.

Yeah.

Also if you're hiking the upper part.

Well delay.

Just show a little like

You got somewhere to go.

Before the last minute.

What, you got somewhere to go? No. What are you doing? Oh. Well I'm hungry.

Are you hungry?

Of course, we've been smoking pot.