Quentin Tarantino Returns Part 1 | Club Random with Bill Maher

You're a perfect one to ask. How could it be his fault? It's a gun. You are a partner in the responsibility. I never put myself up for sale as a dialogue writer. They asked you? Of course they did. My dialogue is the shit. I hear Quentin Tarantino is here and I...it's like I have a fireman's pole in my house. I just come right down. Smoking a pie. Good to see you my friend. Can I get you a smoking jacket? Would you like some candy? I mean the playmate candy.

Oh yeah. I can't even get it. I can't even get it. No you mean candy, you can't even leave her. That was a joke I used to do. I went up to the playboy mansion, you know. New Year's Eve. Can we have candy? She's in the grotto with Jimmy Khan. So I don't...first of all thank you for being here. I mean you're...our first repeat customer. Yes. I think we're going to frame the dollar bill right on the wall. The first repeat customer, Quentin Tarantino, by popular demand.

You know, the guy that put some powder on me told me that...well not the guy, but one of your people. So the she...handles the website and everything. And she said that there's been a thing about who would you like to see a repeat guess? And I didn't know this. Apparently it was like I want hands down. Hands down. Absolutely. So you're smoking out of a pipe now? That's quite a pipe too. Yeah, this is a...it's a color bash. This is the...this is not the famous pipe that Hans Lander smoked in...

...unglorious bastards. That's kind of just a cinematic artifact. But it's actually just...it's interesting. I get into a little bit of smoking a pipe for a little while. And then I get off of it for a little bit and then I get on to it for a little bit. But it was funny because I was doing it...well I was here and I was thinking I was smoking it too much. I go, God, I don't want to have to...I don't want to be like smoking cigarettes or anything.

So then I left it at home when I went back to Tel Aviv and it's like, okay, let me just see if I... Did I monkey around and get myself addicted? And then no, I didn't. It wasn't there, so I didn't need it. But this is...I've always been that way with part. I know it sounds like it's an invitation for a joke about how it's not addictive. I've been doing it for 45 years and I'm not addicted, but it really isn't. It doesn't call to me like marijuana doesn't say, do me now. Sigurettes did.

Yeah, yeah. Sigurettes were the boss. Or if you're on heroin or cocaine. Well, it's easy especially when you live by yourself. It's easy to get high every night because you're by yourself. So you're a little bored and so you'll be less bored. All right. If you get high. I think we all remember Richard Pryor talking rapture with you. He was talking rapturously about his love affair with the cracked pipe. Yeah, yeah. That he remember he was just in his bedroom with the pipe.

And anybody else was a third wheel. Yeah, right. I mean, a drug can be that. Yeah, exactly. If they're good. No, kids. I don't mean that at all. But it was actually interesting because when I went back to Tel Aviv and I go, did I smoke in this pipe a little bit too much? I got a little used to it a little bit too much. And then when I went back to Tel Aviv, no, I didn't miss it. However, I watch a lot of old movies.

And so when I would watch an old movie and the guy smoking a pipe, okay, I had a little veil. Okay. That would be nice right now. I admit right now watching the watching the guy and the watching the old guy in the hat. All right, smoke is making me want to smoke, but I can handle that. But your smoke is for a reason and you inhale it. Yeah. In the old days, this isn't inhaling. This is just like, you know, it's like a cigar. You take it and you blow it out. And it just feels good in your mouth.

Yeah. It's just like a, it tastes good. Yeah, it tastes good. And, yeah, it's just, well, first of all, it's, that's so funny. I was inscribing this book here. You can read it. I might have sent you one. You just sent me one. I don't know. It's not an autograph. Oh, I think they are autographed. The O.B. I sent you, but it was my assistant to it. No, your sister did it. That's all of us. That's right. You did it. But speaking of sophistication, this is what I wrote to you.

I'm like, you know, today. For the sophistication and the laughs as the world got a lot stuporctor and more cowardly. Oh, that's really great, mate. But it's true. As the world got stuporter and more cowardly, you stayed the course and never pulled a punch. And it was always sophisticated.

And it was like, no, I'm still going to make movies for adults because, you know, just since I, way back in the 90s, it was we were already past that point where children were just much more important than people. Everything was, what about the children? How would it have affected? And I used to say, what about the people? You know, I'm a childhood survivor. Doesn't that give me some victim credibility there? Can I count to? And like in the arts, I think that's what happened.

Is things just got more oriented toward children. Has parents became more indulgent? You always trade your... What also falls on deaf ears when it comes to us because we were subjected to the really wild stuff in the 70s as a kid, both in, you know, movies and TV. And I was especially movies and stuff, but in just pop culture. And I think it made us better. Well, your book, which I fucking loved, that book you wrote about, what is it called? Oh, Cinema Speculation. Cinema Speculation.

And it's so interesting. I haven't done it. I'm talking about my to-do list. All the movies that you did a chapter on that I wasn't... I hadn't even heard of a lot of these movies. And I thought I knew a lot of them. I did, of course. But I can't even remember their titles because they weren't familiar to me. Right, yeah. Like Rolling Thunder or something? Oh, that's one of my favorites. I didn't fucking heard of that. Should I see it? Oh, well, I think you would actually...

No, I think it's a terrific movie. But, however... Who's in it? What's it about? It's William Devane, a very young Tom Ylee Jones. William Devane. I'm a big William Devane fan. I love William Devane. And a friend by Paul Schrader, you know, who wrote that to drivers. Of course, yeah. And it's a good revenge-amatic. Oh, great. Okay. But like, I mean, the ones I love, well, deliverance. I loved your thing on deliverance. That's not true. I think the bet.

I think that, aside from the, like, biography pieces and... Yes. I think that's the best written cinema piece. I do. That's why I'm siding it because it's stuck up. I mean, also, you're working with a movie that... Well, I mean, all the movies you're... I mean, I certainly appreciated the ones, again, that I'd seen more, like, Dirty Harry, I knew that. I knew the getaway. That's very interesting.

I thought that was great, the idea that, you know, back in the production code days, you literally couldn't get away. I mean, that was almost the whole point of the production. Oh, yeah. If you commit a crime, which included adultery. Absolutely it did. Yeah. You did not get away with it. And here they're like, no, we got away. Yeah, no, there was a whole thing. You can't hold this against older movies because they literally had to exist under this code. Absolutely.

But like, you would see, they would do a movie version of a, say, a fantastic play. But the whole point is that the characters do this thing. Well, they can do this thing in the movie version, but they all have to pay for it. Exactly. Including up until 1960 was where the boys are. Yeah, yeah. The original. Yeah. Some people, most people still be too young to remember the remake. But I remember it was 1984. They remade it. And it's actually called where the boys are 84. It was?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. But in the original, this is 1960. This will be interesting to kids because this is the legacy and how it continues. That's what made Fort Lauderdale. Yeah. And that part of Southern Florida, the spring break destination. That movie popularized the idea. It's Paula Prentice. And the beginning, she's in school in Minnesota and the winter. Spring break. We're all going to Florida. Right. Barbara Eden and a county Francis. And George Hamilton. George Hamilton, yeah.

I remember he sat down next to the girl. And he just writes a question mark in the sand. That's actually pretty cool. Very cool. And then she gives her name and he just does it again. And she gives her like where she's from. And he just keeps doing it. And she's like, wow, that made me want to be George Hamilton. Who was a pretty cool guy. It was pretty good. I did need him a couple of times. Oh, we used to pile around in the 90s. I met him a couple of times. I didn't we didn't pile around.

Oh, no, no, he was so cool. He had this cigar bar. No, or he, yeah, I think it was his cigar bar on Santa Monica Boulevard. Well, that sounds like a cigar bar I'd want to go to. You would. It was great, although it stuck up cigars, which I don't like. But no, he was very cool, very self deprecating. You know, not full of himself. Well, he he'd actually. Um, some. He did a real kind of. Change his whole. Of persona in the 70s. He kind of after being the Steve Stunning guy and everything.

But in real life was actually quite funny and. Yes, he was. Depreciating. He saw how Bert Reynolds revolutionized himself on talk shows. Yep. And George Hamilton was kind of number two at that. If you know, as far as going on talk shows, one great story after another, really charming, really self deprecating, really make the host feel really good. Right. And, um, And that was just a whole different look for him compared to what it was like in, in the 60s. He would show up.

They had a, uh, on the in the middle of the afternoon, Sandy Barron had a local LA show. I remember. And it was a, you know, it's sort of like what the Regis and Cathalie became. Right. And I did the show. You're talking about George and Alana. Yeah, yeah. That was his ex wife. Uh-huh. He did the show with his ex wife. Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm talking about. He would just be a guest. He would be a guest on the Sandy Barron show. And, uh, I was like, wow, this is the guide, George Hamilton.

This is evil. Can evil. He's like, he's so charming on this. You know, and then he kind of took that persona and did a love at first bite. Yes. Kind of works. Well, he was cut out of Godfather 3. Yeah. He had a pretty big role as the, the success. He really took the, the Tom Hagen part. He was the conciliary because now Michael's really into legitimate business or mostly. Of course, they pull me back in. Yeah. And, but he was, I think, very disappointed about that.

I know he was because I remember him talking about it. Like, like lots of actors get very disappointed. I say, it should be when they get cut out of a movie. They think they've got a big part. And Coppola looked at it and he went, well, that's not what the movie's about. Right. Yeah. But frankly, to me, uh, that he was one of the most interesting things about Godfather 3 was the idea of George Hamilton being, being, uh, Michael's, Michael lawyer.

Yeah, the idea that, well, first of all, there were some brilliant ideas in that. I mean, I'll tell you why I think it's, it's ultimately not great as, and most people think it's worse than that. I don't think it's terrible at all because it's very entertaining. The reason why I think it never can quite work is because it's a trilogy of a story that has already ended after two. Michael Corleone starts out, that's not me.

Yeah. That's my family, Kay, and goes all the way to, and I kill my brother. Yeah. Once you go from that arc, which is beautiful, you have nowhere else to go. Look, I, I, look, I couldn't agree with you more. I mean, there was a thing where, um, you probably don't like it, but I'm a big, big fan. And I'm not, I don't watch all the animated movies and stuff, but I am a big fan of the Toy Story trilogy. I think that that, I think that that, I think there's only one trilogy.

I think there's only one trilogy that completely and utterly works to the nth degree. And that's a fistful of dollars for a few dollars more in the Good and the Bad and the Ecclid. That's a trilogy. Yeah. Oh, there's all the same character. Yeah. The man with no name. The man with no name. Right. Clint Eastwood. Yeah. And, you know, so it's like one director vision, Sturgiali, through all three movies. So that's the spaghetti with.

Yes. But the thing about it is it does what no other trilogy has ever, ever been quite able to do. The first movie is terrific, but the second movie is. So great and takes the whole idea for a few dollars more. It's so great and takes the whole idea to such a bigger canvas that it obliterates the first one. Wow. And then the third one, Good and the Bad and the Ugly, does the same thing to the second one. And that's kind of what never happens.

You'll see this big jump from the first to the second and they don't really land the third one. Right. You know, you know, Mad Max, Road Warrior and well beyond Thunderdome doesn't dwarf Road Warrior. But in the case of. Toys story. In the case of Toy Story, the third one is just magnificent. It's one of the best movies I've ever seen. And if you've seen the other two, then it's just it's devastating. Is it a cartoon? Yeah. Well, it's a yeah, it's a cartoon.

But the thing is they let them then three years later or something, they did a fourth. And I have no desire to see it. Right. You literally ended the story as perfect as you could. Right. So no, I don't care if it's good. I'm done. Why put the key? I am done. It can still be good, but I'm done. Don't put the condom on after you come. I mean, if you follow that rule of life. But so this is why there's no kill bill three. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You feel like I did I kill bill.

Right. But yeah, you yeah, I get it. But it's interesting. I mean, speaking of the threes now, I mean, three is a magic number in the arts. I mean, it's this very often, not just trilogies, people, I mean, the Dante's in Fernow, is written in triplets. Did you know that? TRIREMS, like every line is threes, threes, threes. No, I didn't know that. For a whole book of, you know, and the concentric circles of hell is done in threes. I mean, I thought that was very sick. Three acts in every way.

And movie in the in the deliverance chapter, if I recall, you are, you love it as we all love it. But you do. I'm rough. I'm rough on the third on the third act. Third act. And I don't tell me because you know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, I didn't, I don't think I quite understand what you, because I don't remember the most. Well, because I don't remember the movie. I don't remember what happens in the third act.

Well, it's, it's, it's, it's a, it's a double, a double headed coin that I have a problem with one. Once Bert Reynolds has taken out of the picture and it's just a Ned Bady and, and, and, uh, John Boyd trying to just trying to survive and, and John Boyd has to climb up the mountain and then get one of the hillbillies and, and, and, why is Bert Reynolds taking out of the, well, because he, he got, he wiped out, uh, he wiped out down the river and his, his leg got hit on a rock. Oh, yes.

He's, he's, he's messed up. He's just completely messed up. So they're carrying him. They, they hide him out, but then that they can't get away because that hillbillies up, uh, is up on the, on the mountain. Shoot him. Right. So John Boyd's got to go out and get the hillbilly and hopefully catch him and kill him and then, then they got to make their way and now we got a lie about what happened. So we don't, right. So we can get rid, put this all behind. And does he complete this quest?

He does complete the quest. Now, to me part of the, part of it is simply just the kind of the movie thing of like, well, I know John Boyd's not going to fall off the fucking mountain. So they make a big deal about him climbing the mountain, but of course he's going to not just fall off the mountain and die. Okay, but John Boyd is the character who we as the everyman relate to. Yeah, he's the one. Yeah, he's a, he's a, Reynolds is a bit of a superhero. Yeah. Okay. And Ned Bady is the opposite.

He's the guy who has to square like a pig. Right. Because he gets fucked in the ass. I, I seem to recall you saying you saw this with your mother. Yeah. Which blows my mind because I couldn't watch HBO with my mother because there would be some sex scene or something that was just made me like turn beat. Red inside, but you watched it with your mother. Yes, I did. Yeah. But your mother was cool. Yes, she was, well, my mom was pretty cool about stuff like that.

But to me, the real, the real problem with the movie is when they decide to go to town and now they're going to lie about what happened and not mention the rape and not mention the hillbillies that they killed and just if we can just get past this thing. All right, then no one ever has to know about this. We can go on and we're alive. And then they show up, they show up in the town and they, they reported to the sheriff.

Whether or not they could pull this off should be one of the most exciting parts of the movie. Right. All right, because I mean, they could say what really happened and take the chances and court, but no, we're going to, we're going to double down. Right. And then we get away with this whole thing completely or not at all, right? Like it never happened. And that should be one of the most exciting things, but John Borman doesn't really play it for suspense.

He could have cast like a really terrific, like a Wilford Brinley type of actor to be the sheriff who like, I know something's up. I'm a just a folksy old sheriff, but I know something's up between you guys. And that, and you could have been shit and bricks, all right, watching that happen. And it's just all treated with their left hand. It's all treated. It's all, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a fizzle. It's just, it's like a pop. Right. As opposed to a, a bang.

And it's where the whimper are not a bang. Yeah, it absolutely ends with the whimper. And to me, it's just a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a bizarre decision to undromatize that situation. But the question you ask, I feel like is, is the question that is makes everything either sophisticated or not as opposed to movies that end with someone shooting rays out of their fingers. Okay. This is, this is not sophistication.

Okay. I'm not saying it's bad. And you can enjoy it. And I enjoy stupid things too. But a sophisticated, my wife, because my wife is like, well, I'll take, I don't consider this this. But okay, I'll take her to see like that one of the latest King Kong movies, King Kong, Skull Island. And she liked it well enough. Yeah. But this is children's movie. It is. It is movie for children. That's exactly what I'm always saying. Things are really easy.

She sees Wonder Woman. Yeah. Okay. For a children's movie, it's okay. Absolutely. That's what I'm always saying. Either something is for children or adults. It's okay. I can like children's stuff too, but not that much. Hey, friend in high places. My new favorite podcast with Matt Friend coming out on YouTube. You got to check it out. And the first guest is me.

When you have to ask yourself as the audience member, if I was in that situation, would I do that with the character did and would it make me bad? Or would I do the same thing? Michael Corleone. You know, I mean, Michael Corleone kills a lot of people, but he's pulled into it to because he wants to avenge the death of his father and protect his father, which is something that we all can relate to. So is he a bad person or would I in the same situation?

Well, I think he knows even, I think it goes even deeper than that because the thing is Coppola makes the family so vital that you're actually able to look at the Godfather on one level as a movie about a family business. It could be about the family dry cleaners. Olive oil. Yeah. They were in the olive oil. They were in the olive oil. But it could be, they could be fighting all about the barbecue joint that the family has opened.

And this brother knows, knows the barbecue sauce and this guy and this brother knows how to cook the meat. Sure. And they don't fucking like each other, but they fucking need each other. And here's the plot, someone to just they now get into the frozen yogurdings. That's like the heroin of this. Yeah. I don't know. There's a lot of money in that frozen ice cream pie. We just sell it up to the side. You're ruining the whole Texas vibe. My friend, frozen yogurd will be the death of this.

I was against it then. I'll have against it now. If all the people in this room who sold frozen yogurd were to die on me. The only one standing. And they will be the peace. Don Cullion will provide protection for the frozen yogurd industry in the east. After all, we are not communist. But, but yeah, that is to me, the key is like you ask yourself, what do I do that in that situation? Otherwise, the characters too dimensional. Well, you know, I saw. I saw interesting movie.

From the 30s is written by Agatha Christie. It's called Love from a Stranger. And it's where this kind of regular mundane woman. There's a hard scrap of life, but she's okay. And she ends up pointing the lottery. It should be considered rich, all of a sudden. And it's on a cruise and meets Basil Rathbone. Sure, I come. Yeah, sure comes. And one of the great actors and one of the great talkers, you know, as far as like. Actors voices. Right. And. It completely sweeps her off her feet.

And then Mary's. And. Yeah. You've seen the poster of this movie. It's just movie to even enough to want to watch it written by Agatha Christie. You know what you're watching. You're watching a movie about a guy is going to fucking kill his. Kill his wife. He married her obviously because she's rich and he's going to kill her. Is that kind of movie? Right. You kind of know what type of movie you bought a ticket for. Or a feel good movie. You know, kill his wife. You said it. So. So we know.

What we're watching. Right. And. And we're heading towards it. But she doesn't know the kind of. She doesn't know she's in a movie. So. We know this guy is a rater. But we're also watching it from her perspective. When is she going to figure it out? Right. Because we're a little bit ahead of the curve. Right. And they never show him doing anything. In fact, he's even creepier because he never really gives you any reason. Other than that we know. Other than we know that he's going to do it.

He never gives us any indication that he's going to do it, which makes him all the creepier. But the, but the thing is. Yeah, we know. But we keep looking through her eyes. And there's nothing he does that raises a red flag. She's not stupid. She's far from stupid. And so we keep waiting for her to. See something in it. Norid or, or, or, or, or be a Patsy. But now he's that good. Until it finally ends up that she puts it all together.

But when she puts it all together, they're staying for the weekend in a cabin in the woods. And this is the night he's going to kill her. It's a really, really terrific. And he does. I can't tell you. You should watch it. It's a fun movie. Well, you won't watch it. But somebody out there in TV land. No, I might. What's the call? Love from a stranger. Oh, yeah, that's a famous title. It's really. What year is this? Forties? It's like, no, it's like, like, thirty nine. Oh, wow.

Thirty nine. The Anas Barabla's year. Yeah, that was a great year. That was a great year from Hollywood movies. Gone with the wind and the Wizard of Oz. Yeah. I mean, plus, like, Well, actually my favorite movie of 1939 is The Man in the Iron Mask. Oh. Oh, Louis Hayward and directed by James Whale, who did the Frankenstein. I saw, I guess, the remake of it with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Yeah. And then they also, but they had a big remake in the seventies of the Richard Chamberlain version that they showed on the hallmark, Hall of Fame. Is this where he's the twin takes over the castle because the remake is so stupid. First of all, I mean, I'll suspend my belief as you have to in the arts for things. Like identical twins. I'm not unreasonable. Yeah. But he's in an Iron Mask for six years. And when they take the mask off, his skin is perfect.

And he looks exactly like the guy who's been living as the king for six years. Exactly. Yeah. I'm not talking about that one. I'm talking about the 1939 version. That one I stand behind. But that's also one of those actually interesting things though. Well, it's at least this interesting to me because it's, it's based on a very famous Alexander Dumas novel. Right. Okay. Very much good tears. Same author, right? Same author.

And it's, and it's, and it's, and it's also a sequel to that dark canyon. And the three miscaptures are characters in it. There are certainly characters in the decaprio movie. No, but they're characters in the book. Right. Gabriel Bern. Yeah. Again, you keep referencing them. I don't know. I think Tim, Tim, your boy Tim Roth, I think, is in it. I don't think he's in that one. I don't think he's, no, he said he's in that. The woman they have the latter fight. All right. It's called the musketeer.

But he's not in that one. But anyway, the thing is that it's a pretty famous story. In 39, they hired this really terrific screenwriter named George Bruce to take the novel and turn it into a movie. And he did. And that's the movie that I like. And they do such a good job of it that you kind of just think, oh, well, that must be the story. It's such a classic story and it plays out so well, you just assume that, oh, that's, that's what's in Duma's book.

So because I like the story so much and I'd like to couple of other versions of it, I decided to read the book. The book's fucking terrible. So is the great guy. No, no, the opposite. The great gatsby, I keep when they keep making the movie, it keeps sucking. And then I may say to myself, maybe it's not a great book, but you're saying the opposite. Yeah, I'm saying the opposite. But you said that about deliverance, the book is not that great. The book isn't that the movie does improve it.

The movie definitely improves the book. And I did not expect that to be the case. The actors really take it absolutely can happen that a movie is better than a book. But one of the things I talk about in the deliverance thing, and I want to get back to the man in the iron mass thing. But the one thing I was talking about and the deliverance thing is, in most cases, a movie can't help but be a reduction when it comes to the book. It can't just can't help it. It can't include everything.

Yeah, it's just what it is. That's kind of not the case with deliverance. I can imagine John Bournemann reading the book and thinking, oh shit, I can do something with this. Right. Oh, I can cast this well. Right. And actually going down the river, seeing that, that will be important. Right. Seeing the trees, that will be important. This environment will be, I've got something to do here. Right. It's not like I have to figure out what do I lose? What can I add? Let's get started.

And that doesn't happen that often. He's a visual stylist anyways. Right. Let's get started on story bordering the ass fucking state. I want to see pictures. I want to see drawings. But really, when you think about it, I finished my thought on the man with the iron mass thing. The thing that was cool about that though, is I'm reading it like, oh my god. I realized that this screenwriter, George Bruce, kind of invented the story that we all know.

And just grafted it onto his screenplay. And now we all think that that's the story. But the thing that's funny is, okay, when they do the Richard Chamberlain version, in 1979, they did a version with Bob Bridges playing the two guys. Bob Bridges. And in each case, they hadn't read the book either. They want to do the Louis Hayward movie with just with their guy. All right. So that they set it all up, that they read the book and they go,

we don't want to do this shit. So they all keep remaking the same movie. Right. Because that's the story they want to tell, because that's now the story. That's so interesting. And it's all a screenwriter. So how could somebody who loves movies this much ever walk away? I know I say this every time, and I'm a broken record. But like, you've got to be kidding. First of all, you're just too young. You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, but you don't present as old.

I mean, this country has certainly had a moment where we confronted this idea of people who just present as old, because Joe Biden, I don't think he lost his marbles, but he presents as old. Yeah. You don't, if you don't, you probably have like a lot of things left in you. So again, I, and I hear, this is only the scuttle, but I hear you are, it's a done deal. You're directing the next Star Trek movie. What's it going to be about it? And what is your vision for a Star Trek?

Well, I had, well, it's never going to happen. So I've been, there's been so many, there's been so much misinformation about what it was going to be. I mean, nothing but misinformation about. That's a big word in today's world, misinformation. Yeah. That's a trigger word for me, because even though there is a lot of misinformation, it's also a weapon you can throw at something to just stop a debate. I mean, there was a lot of misinformation about COVID that wasn't actually misinformation.

Yeah. Oh, no, look, I look, I understand what you're talking about, but, yeah. But I live in this other, I live in a, I live in a special zone. And part of my zone is because I'm not on Instagram and I'm not on Facebook and I'm not, I'm not on social media, you think. So thus, I'm not freeing this constant dialogue of, you know, with the world, what's going on with my life. You don't need to, you're above it.

And so, but consequently, if you're Joe Shlomoca and you're some sort of a transient celebrity reporter of some kind, if you hear Quentin is going to make a Star Trek movie or Quentin is going to do a movie called The Movie Critiker, Quentin is going to do any fucking thing. It's a little bit like when that guy wrote that Howard Hughes biography that I didn't it being a hoax. Clifford Irving. Clifford Irving. Yeah. The thing is, they can say anything. Oh, Quentin is going to cast Tom Cruise.

It's for sure. Quentin is going to cast Tom Cruise as the movie critic or Quentin is going to cast Tom Cruise as Captain Kirk or Quentin is going to cast. What? Yeah. And then that on the Instagram or the thing was kind of funny about the movie critic was they started saying that I was going to cast that actor Paul Paul Walter Hauser. Who's that? He's an actor and a beneficue thing. He played Richard Jewel in the Richard Jewel movie. Oh, he was good. But the thing was funny about it.

I think they just think he looks like a critic. Yes, that's what he takes on. Okay. But my point being though is they write it in, you know, showbiz daily or whatever. Yes. Showbiz weekly. I read it. And then that gets picked up in 140 pieces. Yeah. Now, because I'm not shutting that down because I'm not all connected, then that's just reported as if it's true. And it's true for a couple of weeks because no one knows anything better because I'm not filling them in.

Yeah, but I had to talk with you. It's not a bad thing. It actually, I mean, the ego maniac in me thinks that the idea that 104 or two articles can be printed about just speculation of what I'm going to do. I appreciate that a lot. That means I'm in a good place. The ego maniac Elvis guy, part of me goes, yeah, right on. Yeah, what about the two Oscars thing you have and how long they are and how they cry at night wanting a third sibling?

I'm just saying I have some ideas for you to win that next Oscar. Okay. Okay. First of all, I think you should do them. We'll be on a train. I've actually just had a train. I want to hear it. I want to hear your idea. The three, I've read this. The three greatest like 30s, some like it, oh, that's not there. Like say like 30s to 60s, comedies. Some like it hot. The 20th century and Palm Beach story. I think they all take place on a train because it's kind of like you're trapped.

You know, you can, I mean, they're all great movies. No, I mean, it's funny that you're saying this because I actually just, I do a podcast with Roger Avery and we watch movies and it's called the Video Archives Podcast. And the thing is we just watched this really fun movie from the 90, early 90s called a narrow margin with Gene Hackman and Ann Archer. Sure. It's a train movie and we have a big talk about how fun train movies are. There's James Bond stuff on a train.

Oh, the big fight, but him and Robert Shaw is on the train. Right. And Tom Cruise has done trained stuff, but as a comedy, you know, like I feel like you could like do a straight up comedy. I agree with you. I mean, Spielberg did a comedy in early on, 1941. I feel like hugely underapproved. I'm a big fan of that. We love that movie and it's very funny. And Scorsese did after midnight. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, after hours, yeah, after hours with Griffin Dylan. Yeah, it's good. Such a good funny movie.

Like just to show, I mean, I felt like, look, I can do this too. I may not even go back to it. And neither one of them ever went back to it. Yeah. I guess because they didn't have a, like, they'd the critics, like sort of were out to get them at that moment. Yeah. Well, I mean, at the same time, you know, I mean, but they missed those. Those are good movies. I agree. I'm really great. You know, well, I'm, I'm leaning more towards writing right now for a while, trying for a while anyway. Theater.

And in theater. Yeah. Yeah. And in theater, it would be funny stuff. I can't go to the theater. I didn't make a movie. Well, if it's a popular play, then I'll probably make a movie. Really? But why do we even have to try it out in the theater? I mean, the theater, like you got to like get a shower in and put on clothes and like go out and. Let me tell you the distraction for me. Yeah. Yeah. My head sounds good. I mean, you know, you've had David Mammett sit here before. I love him.

Yeah. Okay. I'll see exactly why it's interesting. No one I haven't done it. But the thing is, I mean, two things are interesting. One, the idea of, especially if it was funny, especially if it was a comedy, the idea of doing something where, oh, no, it's in a comedy play, the audience is a character in the room. And it's like, you say this, they laugh. The audience, the actors kind of wait for a moment to get the, you know, the audience for the laughter, then they got to pick their pace.

And it's a rhythm. It's almost like the audience is almost like a live animal in the room. There's a type of play. I've seen them. I think it's called a drawing room comedy where they, or maybe there's another word for it, but I saw one of them. I forget the name of it, but back in the 90s, I think. And it's like, there's four doors. Yeah. And the people come in and out. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. And that door closing is a line. That's right. And then somebody, yeah. And it's all about timing.

It's almost like watching something that's a little above what a normal, yeah. And the thing is, when that works, well, that's an, that's an evening out. That was funny. That was, there was a reason why I was in that room. And there was an interplay between the actors and the, right, that's hard to capture on film. Yeah, that's really hard to capture on film. That could be something really, really special.

The other thing that could be really neat about it is if the show were successful, then I would have the, the joy of seeing different actors play those characters. When I do a movie, it's, okay, the actor I cast plays the character and then that's the character. And that's kind of what you want. You want them to kind of own that character. And, but in a play, it's like, no, no actor owns the role. This actor will play it.

And even if it's a big hit, okay, well, somebody else will do the London show and somebody else will do the tour and then colleges and high schools can do it later. And I feel like you're like the last one who will stand up against the current trend to cast, not by merit. Yeah. But, yeah, and also to, I mean, the whole thing about, like, cultural appropriation that, you know, who was it? We did a whole thing about it. It's in that book.

Yeah. Oh, John Leguizamo, who I like, but he was complaining about, um, who was it? Some white guy who was playing Castro. Yeah. He's like, but he's not Cuban. But John Leguizamo was played parts where he, he played Super Mario. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I mean, it's like, it's Tom Hanks that he sure, he would not play the character in Philadelphia today. Oh, really? Because he's not really gay, which I feel is so gay.

Yeah. You know, and, you know, the M&M way, um, to, because he was... I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, the thing about it is, I mean, look, I guess I have no problem with any actor playing any type of another race role for anything that's happened kind of up until now. Okay. Now there is, now I, now it actually, I would ask, the question, well, what, you couldn't find a Mexican guy to play this, Mexican guy, all right? Right.

And, uh, you couldn't find an American Indian of all the people that exist. You can't find, you know, certainly an Indian because they just don't look at this, and certainly there's Mexican. I understand that. No, I mean, I even feel, but I even feel like, I don't want to see some American do a phony French accent when there's French people in this French actor's house. But that's an exaggerated version of it. They're talking about things like Tom Hanks as a gay, like, I don't, I don't know.

Well, well, that's, I think you should be able to play. Well, that's a, that's the, okay, that's the part that I, that's where I, that's where I would kind of draw the line. It becomes a different race. Well, that, I can understand, but I'll, I feel all the Latin America is, is eligible to play all the rest of Latin America.

No, we're not going to, we're not going to cast, we're not going to cast Mickey Rooney again as a Japanese man with, or Jerry Lewis, but if it comes to sexual preference and everybody should play that role, right? Because we're not supposed to know what people's sexual preference or care about them anyway. It's so hypocritical. And there also isn't aspect about acting going on. Of course. You know, yes.

It's like, I mean, I would be, and I would be interested to see Al Pacino play a drag queen to see Al Pacino, the drag queen Al Pacino would come up with because he's a great actor. You know what movie I was watching recently and I swear to God the character and I don't take this the wrong way, but he came off kind of gay. How in 2001? Oh, he, oh, yes. Well, that's always kind of a bit of subtext in it. Really? Well, I mean, just, it's very jolly. It's matter, his manner, yeah.

His manner, yeah, his manner. I thought I was the only one to see this. Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, if people don't remember, I mean, first of all, what is your interpretation of that whole movie? That would be a great one to ask that. I mean, at the beginning, we see the apes. And by the way, when you, I watched it fairly recently, it's so obvious that they're men in ape costume.

I guess we would do that differently today, although I don't know how you would get the apes to actually do the things that the director wanted them to do. It's hard enough to get the actors to do what they're doing on my right. Okay. But the apes, yes, they're obviously men in ape suits. But those are pretty good apes suits. So I don't know what I'm talking about. I agree. They're pretty good at pretty good. Yeah, but I don't mind that though. I don't mind it either.

It's 1960. But I mean, but in that instance, particularly, that does not break me out of that. Not at all. Okay. It's 1968. So okay, the first 20 minutes of the movie is the apes. First they're like, they're just, wow, you're doing apes shit, but they don't seem to be like, you know, going apes shit about anything. Then the monolith comes. This is the big thing. I remember my mother and father talking about it when I was 12 years old.

It's like debating, which is what you want in your household, your parents. Yeah, absolutely. Debating art. Yeah, yeah. And they were like, the monoliths, and you couldn't, by the way, in 1968, go on the internet and say, what are people saying about this? You had to know what you were saying about it. Well, no, but I'm asking you, okay, but I'll, you know, something that you might, that I don't know if your parents did, but my parents did it. And I think a lot of a lot of people are aged.

Their parents did it. Is my parents like, had bridge night? Oh, my father was a big bridge player. And so all of a sudden, it was like two or three couples, right? Which show up at the house. Right. And they would play bridge. And, you know, and it was made pretty clear. Okay, no, this is not the time for you to be fucking around. No, the adults are going to be doing their thing. Right. And you can come and say, hello, but we're doing our thing.

Exactly. Yeah. And during that playing a bridge, they would talk about 2001 or anything that was interesting going on at the time. Absolutely. Yes. And what's different about today, because, you know, yes, I don't have kids, but I have been in the homes of people who have kids. And I'm always quite amazed that the kids, and I mean from 10 up, you know, teenagers invite themselves into the adult conversations without asking and without the parents demonstrating about this at all.

And if I ever did that, if I just walked into the adult conversation, you know, and I think we should do about Vietnam. I'm just like the fuck out of here. Yeah. Little whipper snapper. Well, I've definitely been in houses where the kids ran hurt over the adult conversations, you know, and usually you're even describing where they're actually trying to engage. In the topic at hand. Okay, normally it's known they're talking about their kid shit. And we're all supposed to stop.

I'm very proud of my four year old son because when adults, when adults come over and we're going to have dinner and we're going to have adult time, they can still be like in the room where the TV is with the nanny or whatever. And then they come over, but he knows this is adult time. And it's not it's not Leo's time and he's a guest here. Right. And, you know, and he's and he's wonderful and he's and he, you know, he did just tell him it's all cool. He doesn't break the vibe.

Okay. First of all, Quentin, at four, I don't think they're interested in you. Tell me this in six years, when they're old enough to like want to be in the adult conversation. That's when you got to tell them to go fuck off. Well, that might be true, but the thing about it is he's respecting the idea that the adults are here. Absolutely. And normally his needs get the attention, get all the attention. Are you up to here? He's. Now, what is age four like? I've always heard the term terrible twos.

So I have an idea what the twos are like. And four must be very different from two. Yeah. For very different from two. I mean, he's still. He's still a little boy that can still be moments where he just wants his mommy, you know, or he gets a little scared about something, but he's much, much more articulate. He's really, he's putting together phrases now as opposed to words. He knows what he wants. He actively, you know, I mean, aesthetically. Sure. That's the stuff that he likes.

And, and just even as far as like, I've watched him go from watching simple things that are 10 minutes to 15 minutes in length. So now he watches like, more involved things that can go to a half hour. That's more than a lot of American adults do. And then like, you know, and then you can watch maybe three of those in a row. Right. You know, because I was thinking, well, he's not quite ready to watch a movie as far as his attention span. I'm certainly not one of yours. Yeah, not one of mine.

But the other day he did watch a movie. It was, it was literally a thing where I was like, okay, well, watch this for maybe 20 minutes. And then at some point he'll start climbing the chair. Right. And that lets me know that he's lost his attention span or he'll say, hey, can we do something else? And so I put on a despicable me three. And he'd seen the other two in segments. And so we're watching it. And he's kind of got past the 20 minute point and he's like kind of like into it, into it.

I go, okay, well, let's see how far this goes. And then we got to the like 45 minute point and he's still kind of watching it. And not only that, he's laughing out loud about sight gags that he thinks are really funny. And then there's even a couple of scary parts. And he's like, oh, this is scary. But then he got through them. He got through them. And then they were into other stuff. And when we finally got to the director credit, I'm sure that's what I'm saying.

And I'm cheering on silently for these last 15 minutes to make sure his concentration. But no, it's a good movie. There he was caught up in the end. He wanted to see how it all came out. But that was the first time that I realized that he had the attention span to watch an actual motion picture from beginning to end. But spoiler alert, I think the actual epiphany here is about you. Yes, he had one.

But I predict you are going to make another movie, but it's going to be one that you want him to see because I saw Jerry Seinfeld do the same thing. Jerry Seinfeld made a movie called Be Moving. Yeah, I think of a movie. Very good movie. But he had little kids. And I think he wanted to make a movie that the little kids could watch and love. Well, that would be an honorable, that would be an honorable. I bet you that is going to be an ineluctable pull for you to get back into this.

Okay. Well, that would be the worst thing in the world. So may I suggest the three studios go to the fire festival? The three studios go to fire Ireland? Go to the fire festival. I kind of like the studios that go to fire Ireland. Or that. That's exactly what you do. Oh, I used to love the three studios. I mean, I lived with the three studios and Superman. I was a snob. I didn't watch cartoons. Still really. Did you watch Little Rascals? Because they were usually connected to the three studios.

Yes, because that was film. Right. I watched the, and also the Bowery boys were very influential in my upbringing because the Bowery boys were bad. Okay. Here's the thing. Okay, well, let's make sure we're talking about the right guys. Okay, because here's the thing. Let's fall. Well, no, no, no, I know. I know that's only a little gorge. But the thing is that there's two different groups. Well, there's three different groups. Really?

Yes. Okay. This is explained in the Paradise Alley chapter of my book. Right. So initially, there was this group called The Dead in Kids. And then they were in this playing on Broadway and they were so popular that Warner Brothers signed them up. And they put them in like one great movie after another. They made me a criminal. Angels with dirty faces. Yeah, yeah. They're literally acting office at the biggest actors in the Warner Brothers. They isn't Bogart in one of those?

Yeah, Bogart's in one called Crime School. Okay. John Garfields and they made me a criminal. James Cagney is in Angels with dirty faces. One of the most famous of all the gangster films. And so they were really, really popular for a while. Then Warner Brothers decided, okay, enough of these kids. And so now they're still popular. So they go off to make a deal. And Leo Gorsi takes one group of them and starts the East Side Kids. And he makes it with one of the cheapy studios called Monogram.

Now here's the thing. The East Side Kids, there's the East Side Kids and there's the Bowry Boys. They do the East Side Kids for a long, long period of time. And then Leo Gorsi starts another one all over against where he can own more money over it. And he changes the Bowry Boys. And he takes some of them with them. Now the difference between the East Side Kids and the Bowry Boys is the East Side Kids are really tough. The Bowry Boys, they're buffoons.

So I don't like the Bowry Boys movies, but oftentimes people will use Bowry Boys to mean any of them. I always saw the Leo Gorsi character as sort of like the mole of whatever group he was in, right? If it wasn't in the mole. Well, that would be a good way to describe him, but frankly, but in his better guys and the East Side Kids, he's more like Robert Blake. Okay, Robert Blake is obviously influenced by Leo Gorsi in his whole, Beretta persona. Beretta?

Yeah, Robert Blake's entire little tough guy persona that he had with Beretta and on talk shows and that his whole kind of way of talking is he was completely influenced by Leo Gorsi in the East Side Kids movies. I can see that. The way he strangled the English language, but like a poetic, entertaining effect. I saw recently and I'd never seen it. It's one of those. I'm having another hit on that.

Yeah. It's another, it's one of those movies that I remember it was out and I just never caught up with it. Tell them Willie Boy is here. Oh, yeah. Robert Blake, Robert Redford. What's your take on that? I mean, he's an Indian.

Well, that movie has a, I don't think that movie works as a movie, but it's interesting what the director is trying to do because he's, he's using a gigantic, he's using this whole Indian thing as a gigantic metaphor because what he's, the story he's telling in where he's coming from, tell him Willie Boy is about a black Panther. You can't tell that story. Yeah. So he takes, yeah. So, so he takes a black Panther story and he sets it in the Old West and he makes it in Indian. Right. All right.

And then to, and then to, and to double down on the iconography, not only does he cast Golden Boy, Robert Redford to represent both white man and the law, he names him Coup. You're right. As in Gary Cooper. Oh, I see. Wow. That's interesting. And then, boy, he's playing Golden Boy rep and this is representing white America law.

And speaking of casting an Indian as an Indian, the Indian woman who Robert Blake is involved with is played by Catherine Ross, late of the graduate year before or two years before, where she's playing a debut tant. So you could be a debut tant in one movie and a year later be an Indian. And that's where we were, when the sad thing about it is Robert Blake pulls off Indian roles perfectly. Yeah. Yeah. Perfectly. No issue there. All right. He's great. Yeah. Catherine Roth is terrible.

Including, including when he killed his squad outside of a restaurant in the valley. He's not got behind her and scalped her. Well, he would remember that story. He went back to get his gun. Was that the, well, you know, he was on trial and he was found innocent. He was found not guilty. I used to see him at the playboy mansion. And I was friendly with him. Yeah. He's like somebody if he hadn't killed his wife, you would have survived his career. Well, yeah. Well, yeah.

Okay. Well, one, we don't know if he killed his wife. He went to, he went to trial and he was found not guilty. He definitely killed his wife. You can say that. I'm going to actually go with I don't know. And the jury said not guilty. Is that legit? Okay. Is that not legit? Okay. But as I recall, no, this is going back. Maybe you will correct the record in my mind. I know we can move the furniture. They had dinner in the valley. I think the restaurant was called the Tellos.

Yeah. Okay. So they go out after dinner. He was not happy in the marriage and she was kind of like a, some sort of, like a scammer. Mal-order, bride, type. I mean, it was like, she's like a con man kind of scammer. She was absolutely a con man scammer. And so it was sort of like pathetic to begin with that someone who had been a star and was famous and was walking around the playboy mansion. The marriage to this predator. This is the best he can do. And he, they have dinner there.

And then they go out to the leave, they get in the car and he says, oh, I got to go back to the restaurant. I forgot my gun or I don't know. I don't remember what it was with. But then she's dead in the car. But then they okay, but okay. I actually saw Robert Blake on the, the Fildon Hueshow. And that's funny to me. And though it's a very, it's a really, you should look up this episode. It's worth watching. Okay. So now here's the thing, the whole fucking episode, every minute of it.

But one of the things that's really funny is Blake is just being him and he's, and he's a little bit more comfortable than he's been, I think in in front of the camera in a while. And the reason he's a little bit more comfortable. The audience likes him. The audience fucking digs him. They get this is after the murder. Yeah. The audience digs him. They get into his vibe. They like OJ and, but you could tell that that that Dr. Phil's a little sketchy about the dude.

And it makes fantastic television. But what does this thing really fill Donnie? Yeah. Not Dr. Phil. No, Dr. Phil. It's Dr. Phil I'm talking. I say Phil Donnie, who I'm a Dr. Phil. Oh, you said Phil Donnie. Yeah, I mean Dr. Phil. Okay. I mean Dr. Phil. Okay. He's even funnier now, right? It is even funnier. Okay. So it's Dr. Phil. So, so Blake deals with what people said and he deals with the scenario and he, he tried, he says it incredulously about the theory against him. He goes, okay.

So let me, okay. So if I understand you correctly, okay, I'll do it like Blake. Okay. So if I understand you correctly, my whole plan was this, hey, Mr. Hitman, I want you to kill my wife. I want you to offer. I want you to take me to my takeout to dinner. So I'm there. It's got to be important that I'm there when the hitman kills my wife. Okay. So I will take her out to dinner and when I'm not looking, I think if I wanted to kill my wife, I got to do it even better than that.

You know, that's probably true. Now, you know, I could have, I never really thought about it that much. You're right. It absolutely could be the case. But OJ, you got to admit that one looks better. My, my, my holding onto what the jury says maybe doesn't extend as far as, OJ, at least as far as my thoughts. But what about the whole theory now, but maybe it was the sign? OJ and it's, well, I would say that that, it wasn't J, J, my opinion of OJ that much.

That he actually wouldn't kill his own wife on his own. Hey, kid, after you've done cutting the lawn, I've got another little errand for you. I want you to kill the act. Hey, I'll be at the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center in Atlanta on September 7th, September 8th, the Riverside in Milwaukee, Wisconsin in September 28th, the Orphium Theatre in Memphis, Tennessee, September 29th, the Taff Theatre in Cincinnati, Ohio.

In November 1st and 2nd of the David Copperfield with the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. You know that they couldn't get, I'm just reading this, they can't, can't get a host for the Oscars. Like they asked Jimmy Kimmel and he said, no, they asked somebody else, oh, John Mulvaney, they asked, he said, no, they went to Alec Baldwin. You know who they should ask. I'm joking. I know who they should ask because he's done it before. All right, you know. He said he couldn't do what he was shooting. No way.

Now, before we go on, I have to like say, I am the biggest supporter of his bullshit case. You know what you don't you think? I mean, come on, you're a perfect one to ask. Who's been on more sets in you? I mean, how could it be his fault? Like either you think he purposely shot that syndrome target for, or you think he didn't purposely shoot her and if he didn't purposely shoot her, then it's all fucking bullshit. Am I wrong?

No, it's a situation, I think I'm being fair enough to say that the armorer is 90, the guy who handles the gun. Then armor is 90% responsible for everything that happens when it comes to that gun. But, but, but, but, but the actor is 10% responsible. The actor's 10% responsible. It's not just it's a gun. You have you are a partner in the responsibility to some degree. What do you do to test it? They show it to you.

You go, if there's steps to go through, you go through them and you do it, and there's a, and you're done with due diligence and you know it's, it's fucking for real. All right. So, like, okay, here's how an actor can handle it and I'm talking about that situation. What she did, what she did, have done, looked into the barrel or like shot it one. I mean, you can't like shoot it because then you're using it. He went through the steps that he's supposed to go through, then he's what are the steps?

Well, it's like, okay, so you see the barrel is clear. They show you that the barrel is clear, that there's not anything wedged in between the barrel. You actually show you the barrel. All right. You look at you. They show it to you the barrel and then, and then, you know, and then they show you some version of like here are our blanks. These are the blanks and then here's the gun. Boom. Now you're ready to go. It's ready for two or it's ready for three.

And, and if an actor is, if an actor knows he has three hot rounds in his gun and he knows that like, okay, I'm going to do a scene blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and he knows he's got three hot rounds as he's doing the scene and then at this point, bam, bam, bam. And then he's going to continue on and say a few more things. Okay. If one of the rounds doesn't go off, while he does his bam, bam, bam, then he should like cut the scene.

Okay, guys, one of the rounds can go off, I think I'm still holding a hot gun here. Okay. Let me ask you this. Why can't we just do it this way? There's nothing in the gun. Nothing. So, when the actor pulls the trigger, nothing happens except you hear. Except that's bloodless. Okay, but can't you put that in a post? Yeah, but that's who that's a, that's, that's okay. Yeah, I guess I can, I guess I can add digital erections to porn movies, but who wants to fucking watch that?

I don't think we needed to go that far. No, I'm just, it's like, yeah. But I'm just, I mean, there's a, no, it's exciting to shoot the, the, the, the, the, the blanks and to see the orange, the real orange fire, not add orange fire. So we do see orange fire. Yeah, no, but no, and, but I mean, you get, you also, you got to catch it.

Well, it's, no, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a thing that you've got to catch it because of the thing about, no, no, no, no, no, let me explain it. I'm just saying I'm not going to argue with catching orange fire with, Quentin Tarantino. No, but you're going to, you're the orange fire.

No, but there's, no, but there's an interesting thing about it though, because when you actually fire a gun, whether or not you see the orange fire that comes out of the muzzle, it's a 50, 50 thing. Okay. If you see it on the viewfinder, you didn't catch it on the camera. If you don't see it in the viewfinder, that means you got it on the camera. So, so it is actually something you have to catch. It's not just, all right, what about this? What about this?

Would it be always impossible to shoot from an angle where the person wasn't aiming at anyone? So if the worst happened, you would just be shooting the wall. Well, okay. Can I just, can I answer that? Can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I answer that from an action movie point of view from an action movie lover point of view? Please do or more. Even before I was a filmmaker, when I was like the guy video archives, I can answer that exactly.

That's what Hollywood did in the 80s. And then I started washing Hong Kong movies. And then like, Chow Yun Fat has got the 45 and he's this close to the guy. And it was so fucking exciting. It was like movies were liberated. It was like, oh, yes, yes, yes. And if you're talking about, and I think for as many guns as we shot off in movies that we only have two examples of people being shot on the set by a gun mishap, that's a pretty fucking good record. Yeah. You know, that is.

I mean, I just wouldn't want, especially now, to ever be on the wrong end of a gun. No matter how much I thought it was safe, I would be shitting in my pants. Yeah, no, no, no, look. That's the kind of fuck up that happens that undermines an entire industry. Yeah, kind of. Well, it certainly makes you nervous. Yeah, but, yeah, we, you don't need nervous people. You want people to go for it. That's the last thing you want as nervous people.

You want, you know, you want, know we're all in this together and we're going to do this cool thing and we're going to capture this exciting thing on film. And it's a thing that we're capturing. But it's the thing to go back to Alec Vola in just one second. I mean, I have no personal, really relationship. He used to do my show a lot and we loved him. He'd stop doing it, which I have no grudge about. I wish he would because he's such an interesting guy to talk to. But I have that.

Was there a reason that you know for a fact? No, he's just, he's got living his best life. He's got a thousand children. You know, I'm happy he's a free man or at least as free as a man with eight children can be. And I'm happy it came out well for him. But no, I like him a lot. And I saw, I mean, he's interesting. I mean, he's colored beyond the line many times and he always survives. I kind of love that about him. And he's too charismatic.

People are like, yeah, he said this and he said that and he said, Fag. And he did this. That he's out like bald, but and I agree with that. No, I mean, no, no, he's kind of the whole package as a celebrity when you think when you add up the last 30 years. Yes. And very funny and you know, anyway, I forgot what it was going to say about him. Well just generally I'm glad that I mean, when I saw him crying at the, you know, he went crazy fucking ended up shooting somebody that's not something else.

You know, things have to go through and it's bad enough, but then you have to put him through this charade. Oh, terrible. I mean, like when I saw him break down is like, yes, I mean, you saw like this incredible amount of stress and tension, which any of us would have had under the same circumstances. Like I just, it's just, it's the kind of thing that just makes you really go yirch about the nature of our society these days.

The, the penniness that some people have, the sort of bad faith when you, you know what that means? I'm sure you know exactly what act in bad faith. No, I don't really think he's guilty of it, but you know, you can get away with charging that. That's called bad faith. No, I mean, no, no, I actually think it's a gross. Well, that's why I drink. I don't want to get into a thing where I'm just like so cynical about the, the, the modern, you know, the modern world of modern times. Get into it.

It's like finger painting. Yeah. But the thing that does make me heart sick at the end of the day all comes down to the bad faith on every single solitary side. Everything so true. Everything. And it's just gross. So gross. So gross. Ignorance is one thing, but the bad faith is something. So so much worse because to have bad faith, you have to know something. Yeah. You have to know that what you can make people believe is different than what you know is true.

Okay. So let me ask you about, because you, you know where you had her on your show. I was like, I was like, man, you got to get her on your show and then you finally did. I don't know if you guys got along, but I have to ask you about one person I'm really kind of curious about and and and even the existence of this one person is an interesting thing to me. Okay. Foxes Fox, MSNBC is MSNBC. There are a lot closer than we wish they were, but there's still enough daylight between them. Correct.

But the closeness is all to the discredited of MSNBC. Correct. Correct. I would agree with that. But there's still daylight between them. Correct. Yep. Uh, yet, yet. Fox does hire Jessica Tarlov and they put her on their big show and she says what she says against the Fox audience against the panel and especially against Jeanine Perrero. All right. Monday through fucking Friday. Yep. As far as I'm, as far as I can see, that is the hardest job on television. All right.

Also, they kind of lie, maybe not Jeanine, but they all kind of like her. So they're not going to, they don't go ballistic on her. All right. They keep it respectful. And, you know, and so here's the thing. One, she's kind of amazing. And I think it's one of the hardest jobs that there is out there, but two, how come there isn't that person on MSNBC?

Right. Well, I asked the same question and that says a lot about the left because MSNBC is a branch of the left who, you know, again, we probably, they'll say Nicole Wallace, go, no, you turned her. Not a fuck. You turned her a decade ago. A decade ago. Exactly. No, I've said that. And I like Michael steel. I love him. But no, you turned him. He switched sides a long time ago. It's very much like the way they break a horse. Exactly. Except, except, except.

Yeah. You've hobbled him for a little bit, but now he's taking, now he's taking your daughter to the church. I mean, a Mustang is a Mustang and then at some point he's going around Central Park shooting in a bucket. You know, I mean, that's just it. And that's okay. Jessica Tarlov has not a retired liberal. No. I mean, yes. So, but again, this is a like. Are you the header on the show? I'm sure. I mean, do I remember everything perhaps is in detail as you think I do. I do not.

But you know, I have a lot of guests and there's a lot of day and there's a lot of pop. A thousand guests. I know. But I think I like her a lot. But the bigger issue is the left and their ability or their desire to engage with anyone who's not already in the bubble and they get a big fat D minus on that. I can agree more. Right. I mean, you see Kamala. I mean, I'm glad she's doing well. I'm glad we have a real fight now for president.

But doesn't talk to the press, you know, now it would never go near me. And I'm, you know, when you won't go near the people who are going to vote for you. Yeah. I'm going to vote for you. Do I have to love everything? No, I don't. It just shows there are. And you're right. I see it somewhere. Well, I don't, I don't, okay, you know what? I don't see her. Well, there's no reason for her to go on your show before the election. But I can actually see her.

First there is because I speak to the exact voter she needs, the person who is in the middle, the person who is not ideologically captured by either side. Now, there are some who watch who are that and everyone is welcome. I need a bigger audience all the time. I'm greedy that way. But basically, that's exactly the audience she needs. The MSNBC crowd is already voting for her.

People who watch me who will decide this election will probably be decided in like four states by something like 80,000 votes in each. That's how these elections, how close they are these days. And that's where we're back to. We're at least back to normal, which sucked, but it is normal that it's 50, 50 going into the election with Biden. It wouldn't have been. Well, let me ask you about this though. Okay, look, look, there's nothing you said that isn't right. All right.

There's definitely nothing you said that isn't right in a normal election cycle. I mean, it's irrefutably right in a normal election cycle where you have a year to set your case. I think there's just all about winning the fucking election, all right? And then the easiest path to winning the election, look, you can talk about maybe she should have had more guts about this or that and the other, but we're the fucking president.

Right. And Trump's not the president and we're the fucking president and now it's going to be about this, but this is about fucking winning. What? What? Most people don't give the Democrats enough credit for, all right? But we give the Republicans credit for it's like, no, sometimes it's just about fucking winning and it doesn't matter how we look at this moment. It's about fucking winning. Right. This is about fucking winning. Yep. Now it is.

It's a mad fucking dash and she is running and she's not stopping to stumble. And you know what? And there's nothing wrong with stopping. I'm going to vote for a fucking anyway, no matter what she says in a stupid fucking interview. Exactly. So don't fuck shit up. You're right. I couldn't be more on that page. When I say that she doesn't talk to the press, I'm not even complaining about it.

Yeah. I'm just saying that is the Democrats and that has been their flaw and there's sometimes when you really do and in general they should start doing it more talking to people who are not already on their side that come across as scared. I can't believe that. And that is not right. But it's too, I mean, I mean, well, I mean, and frankly though, that's, you know, there's not a world where Pete Buttigieg should be coming across as like this magnificent, wonderful thinker.

But one, he is very articulate. He's great. Because everybody else is so fucking bad. No, I disagree. No, I think in a day, I think in a time of statesmen. No, no, I think I'm not putting him down. No, I'm putting everybody else down. I get it. I mean, and everybody else deserves to be put down. But I would give him way more credit than that. I think in any era he would have stood out. He is super smart, super articulate. He is super smart, super articulate, never takes the bait.

That's the Obama playbook. Never takes the bait, which you have to do. They're all, excuse me, wait. No, you're all, I agree. They're all trolls out there. My thing is not about, let me just say this, my thing is not about Pete Buttigieg. My problem is there's not 20 Pete Buttigiegs. Well, that, well, get, you still. But that's not, but that is not unrealistic to ask for because there was a time that that that was the case. I don't think there was ever 20.

I think there was Adley Stevenson and then he ran against Eisenhower, who was not a nice guy. No, I actually do think that there was a time where you had statesmen. You had 13 to 14 to 15 statesmen who could fucking talk their game because it was all about talking the game. Yeah, I think. Am I wrong about that? I mean, romanticizing the past a little, yes. I mean, there was Lincoln, who's letter I quoted, we see how eloquent he was.

And people used to be because they actually had schooling where they taught kids things. That doesn't happen anymore. So people were generally more literary and they could speak. But that's, but, but, you're going to just throw that away. That's like throwing away talent from talking about an actor. I really think the number of people who go into politics who are qualified is so tiny it would scare you. People like Buttigieg is one of them. Obama was one of them. Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton.

These are people that I agree with everything. No, but did they like? When you say talent, I'm telling it in one way. Just saying that they took the job of politician, of gun running in government very seriously. It's not just something. I mean, the rock, I love them, but he, like, thinks he can be president because what, you have to actually learn things about how government works. It's a job just like any other. Maybe it's more complicated.

You can't walk into the Oval Office on day one, be like, what's TPP? Oh, well, that's a giant treaty. We've been negotiating for 10 years. You have to know these things going in. Well, you know, I mean, look, there is this weird aspect that politics was, was this sort of shell game that like the players who ran it, they knew what's going on and they're showing they're showing us and we don't really care.

So as long as you seem to know what's going on, we'll pretend like we care about what's going on. And this all works and we all more or less kind of as a public decide, well, they have more information than we do and then they ultimately know as best that's why we're voting for them. That's why we pay them. Then when George W. Bush becomes president, for the first time, I knew somebody, Dumber than me was president. And the whole fucking thing fell apart. It's all been a house of cards.

It's all been a shell game and a mirror illusion. And George W. Bush made it. You could see through the mirror at all the wrong angles. It's also just because you got older. You were as dumb as anybody as I was when we were in our 20s and shit. So, I mean, and you know, presidents were, I remember Obama was the first president who was younger than me, which is like, wow, I mean, there are certain moments in your life. Like, oh, well, I guess I'll never be a professional baseball player.

I'm 25 now. And then, you know, oh, the president is younger than me. But, you know, I still think I really have come to understand. That was actually one of the, there's all the things that you can't do out of a certain age, but there was one. And actually, I remember from a bill cause, the routine, all right, was that you, you can't run for president until you're 39. Yeah. Well, it's true. Well, 35, 35. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Like Taylor Swift can run next year.

Yeah. And I'm sure she will and I hope she wins. But, you know, something you said really reminded me of three days of the condor. Yeah, I remember that. I can't remember what it was. What? Oh, what I said. I remember, I remember the whole thing. It was about like, well, what was three days of a condor? It was about the idea that, uh, I don't think I, I don't think that's a much ridiculous idea. I love the idea that the government would do this, but I don't think it does.

Oh, because the government has a, a good, no, I got to say this. That's what it is. Yeah. The government has a division. I don't believe that this exists. The government has this division of like brainiacs that just read everything ever printed, every newspaper and every small town ever printed to just know what's out there. Now they're ever computer to it to just know what's out there in case there's something weird that like spikes or does something.

Read every piece of pop culture, read every comic strip, read everything to just see if there's some weird leaning of something. And so Robert Redford is part of this collective. And then some sort of conspiracy happens inside of the CIA where they realize that they may have read something and they can put it all together. So they send a hit team to come out and wipe out those people out. And they do, except for him, except for Redford, you know, and so he's.

And they just, they just read for a living. Yeah, and that's great. Yeah. When he gets with they done away and finally tells her what he does for a living, he's just read. I mean, they just read spine novels to get ideas about what the Soviets might be thinking. Yeah. Now, I actually had a situation like that. Oddly enough. In my work, I, I, I never put myself up for sale as, as a dialogue writer, you know, to do dialogue punch ups for Hollywood movies. They asked you? Of course they did.

My dialogue is the shit. Right. So it is. No, I, I can make any movie better by giving it a dialogue. That's just a deal. I can make it better. All right. I can make it good, but I can make it better. Could you start on flowers of the early glue? I mean, the, whatever, something, I don't know. But the thing is though, then I didn't want to like make money that way. And, and I also looked at it as like, no, I'm a director. Making movies, that's my magic well water.

I don't want to give it to Hollywood fucks out there for a, for a, there's not a, there's not a price I can put on it. This is from my movies. Yeah. You know, um, what was I going with? No, I don't know, but I would file that under duh. Yeah, yeah, it's like, that's my shit. Yeah, you don't do punch up work. Right. And I don't open bowling alleys. Yeah. You know, right. We're past that. We're old.

Yeah. But there is, you know, that would have been crazy lucrative if I wanted to, but I bet no, I'll make the money myself. Yeah. And you did. But, yeah, but hold it for that. It's not only time I'm saying cut. I want to go where I was going with my thought and I can't think of it. I want to go back to three days at the condor. It was about, it had something to do with that.

Yeah. But I remember you said something about like, um, well, the, and the reason why you're so right about somebody's movies being so great and emulating them is like the end of that movie. Okay. Yes, there are CIA team that reads about spies and they get wiped out and Robert Redford at the end of the movie, um, Robertson. Um, what's his club, Robertson? What is Cliff Robertson?

Cliff Robertson, who's the CIA guy and Robert and, and we think that that redford is the hero and I guess he still kind of is because he's given the story about the, yeah, how bad the CIA is to the New York Times and they're at the New York Times building and the truck comes out and gave it to them and Cliff Robertson says, oh my God, you have no idea how much damage you've done. Yeah, right. You have no, you know what?

When people are free freezing in their homes and they want us to get the oil, they're not going to want us to ask, how did you get it? They're just going to want us to get it and it's like that is adult entertainment. Absolutely. That is sophistication. Okay, but not only is, okay, yes. Because it's true and it's entertaining at the same time.

There is not, okay, there was not a yeah, but there's not a yeah, but there's a yeah and and the yeah and in that is again, you can't take entertainment out of the era. It was made and for the audience, it was made for three days of the condor was not made for us sitting here right now. Correct. Watching it. Oh, what's that movie because the hearers talking about maybe somebody watches it. No, it's not made for them.

It was made for the audience in the 70s when it came out, but I bet you people today would still like it. That's not that so fucking cool. That's not my point. My point is it was made for the audience in the 70s when it came out and just by the very nature of it, a cynicism about the government is baked in the pie. This is about as commercial and movie as you can possibly make. Robert Redford, Fay Dunham. Fay Dunham.

The biggest star is the most glamorous stars in a really exciting action movie that seems it's talking about now. It's sexy. And it's talking about now, but a cynicism against the government is baked into the audience pie. But sexy. I mean, if people don't remember or haven't seen it. But no, but the thing is that movie could not exist in that commercial away in 1966. No, of course not. But look. But after 73, yeah, of course, it was a cynical time.

So any cynicism about history or the government is expected. But here's where the modern filmmakers have mostly, not all, of course, but fallen down. The ability to weave the sexy, entertaining part into a movie that means something. Yeah, I agree. You know, like I would like this movie anyway. But I really love it because it's a love story. It's very similar to born identity where, and many other movies, I'm sure, were the guy who's in great trouble made some check who's kind of hot.

Yeah. It's going to be very hot that they're getting out of this situation together. What could make you want to fuck anybody more than that. I mean, too. And she does. And he's the girl who's just somehow in the way. And then she becomes a compatriot with him. No, that's a very pulling, Kaleish review, all right? The born genre, the born movies as a genre and as a placeholder for every other spite movie you've seen since then. Well, three days of the Condor came well before the born.

No, but I'm talking about from what you're talking about the born movie. And they weren't the first to do it either. It's like guy in trouble on the run meets hot check who wants to have. No, no, no, no, there's 90 versions of that that. I know. We're two espionage, all right? They drop the flyer in France and the French girl helps them. Yeah, well, excuse me.

If my dick is in my hand for every one of them, I mean, I like a movie that I don't know where you sort of like, you know, can sort of put yourself in the place of the guy who's getting the hot check in the movie. Does that make me a bad person? Of course not. I mean, just heal me. I actually think like it is, it's one of the differences between movies and theater.

I mean, because the thing about it is, yeah, handsome people and pretty women in theater obviously did well as you would imagine they would, but actually acting was more important. You're sure? You know, so the idea is like some of the greatest actors of the theater times before cinema, people went to the theater. You know, some of them weren't the greatest looking people in the world, but they were the fucking greatest actors. They filled the fucking room.

Well, I mean, that's still true of Tommy Lee Jones. Yeah. But the point being is you're not in a close up. It's about their ability to fill the room. You know, and we had those people and on film too, George Eastcott, it was you Robinson, we had those people. Yeah, Bogart. I had a face like three miles of bad room. And I had the legs of the Robert Blake quote. That's a Robert Blake quote. That literally is a Robert Blake quote about Bogart. My father used to say it. He heard it from Blake.

I'm learning so much about my old family. All right. So back to the agitated apes. Their, their, their, their, their, their model of comes down. Yeah. Okay. Now the question becomes, then the question began. It's a question. It's not answered. It's a question. Is, is that technology or is that spirituality? Well, it's some, well, what it, what I don't know, but what it definitely is, is something from not earth. Oh, absolutely. Okay. Because there's nothing like. Again.

But is it a spiritual thing? Is it a technological thing? I think it's a technological thing because the next thing you know, I agree with the, theoretically I agree with that, but it's a slab. Okay. It's a slab, but they didn't have slabs back in the eight days. They just had like rocks and wood. That's true. Like smooth and shiny. But I would think if I was going to try to sell, if I was going to try to sell technology, I might have a few working parts. But okay. They also find the monoliths.

Remember a few scenes later when they go to the moon. They go to the moon and the monoliths. Okay. And now you try to tie it together like it's a movie that has a story and it does. It kind of does. Well, no, it hasn't. Okay. Well, let's go through it. It hasn't been and it has been. Well, no, no, no, no, let's go through it. Maybe you don't remember. So first we have agitated apes. The monolith comes down. They seem to get different after the monolith.

First of all, they certainly learn how to use tools because you see the guy at the ape hammering with the bone. Big, he's got a big femur in his hand and he's like, okay. So we see he's learned how to like do things with technology. And he throws the bone up in the air, it becomes the spacecraft. Iconic. Yeah, absolutely. Then there's like a scene where the guy's the doctor dude is talking to people and it's like, oh, there's some trouble on him. Oh, man, it's very vague.

And then they go to the moon and there's the monolith again. And the monolith abits a piercing sound and they go like this with their space helmets on which I don't think would do anything if he had his base on the ground. But and then I don't know what that means. And you know, but it's actually curious while you're describing it is the apes respond to the sound, but they don't respond to the sound that way. It's not like, oh, they can't handle it. The apes don't hear sound.

Apes. No, when the wing goes, whoa, when they touch his end and they go, whoa, they respond to the wall. Yes, yes, you're right. Yes. But it's not, it's a different sound. It's like it is not, they're not going out. They're not going like this. Right. So I don't know why the monolith was doing that on the moon. I don't know why the monolith at all. And then we cut to their on the thing going to Jupiter. It's like Jupiter mission 18 months later.

And that's where we have the famous how I can't do that. One of the astronauts goes out to do a spacewalk to fix something. There's something wrong. We've seen this in other movies. And how will not let him back in and he dies out there in outer space? I think. And how is bitch? Well, I look how is a little bitch. It's one of the questions of cinema. It's one of the reasons that you can say that there's a brilliance to, if not Arthur C. Clarke's novel, but Stanley Kubrick's movie.

He seems to ignore everything about drama except just enough rope with knots in it. You're so right. The connect you to the next knot, to the next knot, to the next knot. You're right. And a kiss can be made that when the movie loses it, when it gets more metaphysical at the end is when he stops supplying knots that are narrative. Yeah, you're right. And the knots don't need to connect to each other. They just need to get you forward. And they do. And they do. And they do.

Yeah. I mean, like this, a very interesting scene where he's watching the news from home. They say there's a seven minute delay, but the things to editing. And they're interviewing how. It's like our spaceship here going to Jupiter. And what year must this be? I mean, Jupiter is a really long trip. And what do you do when you get there? There's a lot of you can land on it. Anyway, we're talking to our astronauts who are going to Jupiter. And two of them are in suspended animation.

They apparently had that back then. And two of them are around. Oh, I had that from pun to the ape. Some of them are good. I understood that. And then we're going to also talk to how, how is the HAL 9000 computer? And how? And this show is very much like entertainment tonight, but for like, for astronauts. No, it's the it's a nightly news. This is a big news. No, but it's done as if it's entertainment tonight.

It has and he's listening to it like he's listening to his report on entertainment tonight. Right. He's even is like space food. He's like compartmentalized. But he's watching it on the news. I thought it was very BBC. And they're trying to do it. I thought it was very much like you've done Angie. And you're watching the entertainment tonight special on Angie. And here comes your guy. Yeah, well, that's what you think because you probably spoke too much.

Anyway, I thought it was more like the BBC. In any way, he is interviewing the and then the guy interviews how and how again, it's like I don't remember this from the first time I watched it. But when I saw it, we said, well, how is to be this prescient in 1968 about what we are absolutely talking about today, AI in 2024, like how that's exactly what we're talking about now are the computers taking over and when they do, will they be this bitchy?

Okay. It's like computer is such a bitch and a little like everything is like at the end, like how I mean like Dave, I'm sorry, I can do better. I made some poor decisions. It's like, it's like a relationship fight they're having. With a fucking computer. Here's the thing that I think you kind of nailed without nailing it. Why? My specialty. That was a lucky massive aggressive compliment. I apologize. I really don't agree with shit like that, but that kind of was that. I apologize. Oh, please.

But okay. It's so much. I have to say, I really enjoy watching the show. It's actually interested in my favorite ones. The ones I wish I was in the show. I wish I was the third person on the episode. Go and do it. And then like, okay, so. It's too long. So, but it's actually interesting. It's all about, yeah, comedians and an actress. So the three that I wish I were in the room at the time was the Martin Short episode, the Chevy Chase episode and the Richard Dreyfus episode.

Here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The club random episodes. I mean, Richard Dreyfus will never live that down. I mean. Richard Dreyfus was actually. Was probably the most memorable of your show. All right. You know, remember what they said about the Kennedy Nixon debates that if you saw it on TV, you thought that Kennedy won. And if you heard it on radio, you thought that Dixon won. It's a little like that. People who didn't see it, they didn't think he was fucked up at all. And people watched it.

I mean, he was in no position. You know, so it was, I watched it. It's the craziest thing in the world that he's like thinking in the chair to the degree that he is. He had to go. But he's, but I don't know any of that. I'm not like, I'm not reading, I'm not reading blogs about that episode. I watch it. Right. And I think, well, maybe that's the way he's sitting chairs. Well. Maybe if you're going to talk to Richard drivers for 90 minutes, that's going to be the way he sits in a chair.

I just, that's actually not unbelievable that there's certain old news that when they get together with the boys that they're like in the chair that way at the end of the fucking talk. Am I wrong? No, you're not wrong at all. And I did not want to break them. I'm turning so Jewish. Am I wrong? I'm saying am I wrong? You're George Segal. I'm turning in a, I mean, that's what we live in Israel for a while. You're turning in George Segal. George Segal had a nice career.

I mean, I mean, from Virginia Woolf. Yeah. I mean, no, I mean, it's like young Steve stunning guy. All right. And then he came to the court. No, in the 60s he was. In the 60s he was. He was in the 70s. Okay. He was in Jewish Steve stunning. Okay. No, but if you look at movies in the 60s, it's different. He's pretty safe. Like what? Uh, the Quillerman Miranda. All right. No, that's a good one. He's like a James Bond kind of guy in that. All right. Um, okay, but I remembering.

Of course, actually, but no, he's still in the Steve stunning period during the time he's doing. Um, uh, uh, was afraid of Virginia Woolf. Okay, that was like 1966. I mean, if he's, I'm talking about the 60s. If he's so stunning, how does he, what is he up to? High repostitute in the owl in the pussycat. I put it to you, sir. Okay. Because he realized that as handsome as he was to go in the 60s, George Maharris kind of, George Maharris.

Yeah, well, I'm using his and his, his, his examples, all right? You know, to go with, no, to go in that kind of handsome cut out role. Yeah. One, it's not who he is. That's who Hollywood was asking him to be. And then he got in touch with the Jewish prankster inside of himself in 70s cinema allowed him to do that. And so then as opposed to not playing the Jewish guy, he's playing the Jewish guy. And that's probably a cool job. Yes, exactly. You know, that's his main competition. Oh, really?

Elliott Gould is showing him the way. There is no George Seeker without Elliott Gould's guidance. Wow. That's a very heavy statement in nowhere. No. Well, in a world that, in a world, what are we doing? In my world, it's actually a really cool statement because I actually just put it together right now when I said it. Somebody did a funny parody once of the trailers and every one of them started with in a world. That was for a while.

That was day regur when you had the guy with that perfect voiceover voice, say, in a world where nothing seems to make sense. You know? Look, there is a case. There is a case that as much as I like film criticism, it's such a regret that I'm writing it now. And by the way, just to answer a question you didn't ask, but you alluded to? Again, my specialty. Well, here are your illusions for today. Well, you have a few sales here. You got the last. You got the crew laugh. The band laugh.

I don't know who those people are. And I'm throwing them off the property. You know, I did my first HBO special in 1989 that was called the Young Committee, the head like Young Committee and Specialist. You got a half hour. Half hour. You remember that? Okay. Very well. So, and you were asked to do a sketch at the beginning. So my sketch, like a two, three minute thing to introduce this special, so it wasn't just stand up. And the one I did was a parody of my fair lady.

Though in my fair lady, as we all know, it's a play on Pig Malion. Yeah. Okay. In Pig Malion, he turns a statue into a woman, his ideal woman. My fair lady, he makes a bet with Pickering. His friend Pickering, whether he can take the biggest... The most common... Like, come up. Yeah. I got a snipe. I got a snipe. I could take a good snipe and turn him into a lady and pass the offer as a lady at the ball. And so he does that. And he's just such a huge prick in this movie, Rex Harrison.

It's amazing the way they did not pull a punch in those days. And so my parody of that was, I played Henry Higgins who could take the most generic, derivative comedian and turn him into a fabulous manologist. And so I took this, so that was the bit where I then found this like comic who's doing, hey, Jack Nicholson, you know, it's like the most... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he'll find food in my right. And I'm turning it to that way. I thought that for a different...

Yeah, for that, from age 30, I thought that was a pretty sophisticated way to go with my little... Oh, where did it go with it? Well, then we did... I remember they shot the split screen where I was both Henry Higgins and I was the bad comic coming in. I was the Eliza who was going to be a trans firm. I can turn him into a fine manologist. And that's actually pretty good cultural satire of it. It's time. It really is.

Especially since no one knew my fair lady or what I was talking about, even in 1989. No, they actually did. They did it a little bit. There was a context to it. There actually was... I'm realizing now, and this was a point I was going to say earlier, there was an aspect that as much as I like film criticism, that parody is the greatest criticism. Well, yes, that's interesting. Of course. All right. It's the one that wields the most scalpel.

The most scalpel, the most scalpel edge, all right, to criticism of art is parody itself. But when it's like... again, when it's like sushi like finally cut. Well, one's the last time you saw the great dictator. I actually have seen him recently. You have? Yeah. Okay. I was watching the... I'm a big chaplain man. I know you are. No, that's not a given. No, I... I was... For years, I was putting down chaplain because I was so worshiped at the altar of Buster King. And now I've appreciated...

Yeah. And an older age, I've appreciated what chaplain... Oh, amazing. But, you know, in 1940, he made the great dictator, which of course was a Bermana clay, a very thinly one on Adolf Hitler. Yes. And the upshot of that as we remember... But check Oki as Mussolini and the very funny Mussolini. The famous scene where he's in the Nazi uniform and he's kicking the... The globe, which is like a beach ball. Just he's gonna take over the world.

And this was 1940, of course, after the war had started, but before we got into it. And as everyone remembers, the upshot of the whole thing of his satire of making fun of Hitler mercilessly was that Hitler was stopped in World War II, never happened. Oh, wait. That's not what happened. What happened is art can do nothing. I have no patience for the people, especially musicians. They're such narcissists. Music can change the world. No it can't. Nothing in art changes the world.

What it can do is make the shitty world we live in more tolerable, because it entertains us or amuses us or comments on us. They can change social more rays. I mean, television changed gay marriage in this country. It made it in the people saw it on TV and they were okay with it and raised issues. It can move the needle, but it doesn't solve anything. And certainly, but that movie is just funny. The great dictator. I mean, it's just... Well, but...

It's like as much of it's a parody, he does go for the laugh. No, he is chaplain. Of course he goes for the laugh. I mean, at the end of the day, there is probably no actor who ever performed before a camera that felt more entitled than Charlie Chaplin. I mean, ever, ever. Marlon Brando, at his most Brando-esque, was never as entitled as Charlie Chaplin. Why are you, like, saying entitled? So what? Well, because it's like whatever this film captures is just the glory of what I'm doing.

I see you. Right. Right. I am capturing history by me doing anything. This is all history. Just turn the camera on. Wow. Now, talk about it. You're in the camera on. Talking about a scathing review. No, because it's all history because I'm Charlie Chaplin and I can do no wrong. But that's only... Are you capturing it? But certainly... But actually... But actually, it's great movie for a guy.

No, no, no. I'm not making fun of the Meglamania, but thank God for the Meglamania because he's Charlie Chaplin. You could say the same about Jerry Lewis. Yeah. No way you can't. I'm sorry for the Meglamania because without that there would be nobody love. You could absolutely say that in that instance, but it's a bad comparison with Charlie Chaplin. Because Charlie Chaplin is like...

There is no celebrity in the history of celebrity in the history of our world that was ever as famous as Charlie Chaplin. That's true. But... No, but that's an important aspect of it. Yeah. And he's silent and he's translated everywhere and the little tram translated that the persona translated everywhere in his comedy and his humanity translated everywhere.

I put the original point about how just big he was when he went back to London after he became a sensation in America, the headline in the London Times that day was just Chaplin. Yeah. Like he was in town and that was like more important. But... It's like I don't think... But there... Until Elvis, there was a celebrity at the level of Charlie Chaplin. Frank Sinatra. There was... I think... If the deal is Chaplin to Elvis, I think Sinatra is here. I think Sinatra is hanging below.

Maybe, but I mean there are a few people. I know. When you're talking about an entire career, that's another thing. There's... look, there's someone who is performing today, possibly right now, who is on that level. No. You may not like it or not, but tell or swift. As far as this popularity, I mean there's Michael Jackson, there's the Beatles, there's Elvis, there's... But there's also a pop and literary right now.

Yeah. Right, but I'm just saying, some people like get to this level that's sort of pretter show business. It's above where show business is. It's part of the culture. No, but that's exciting. That's actually exciting. I'm just talking about those. I'm just saying that there is one around today. I mean, do I get why that is? No, I don't. I don't begrudge her. I just don't get why she's reaching people on this level. But I'm not a teenage girl.

I mean, I didn't just break up with, what do you call them? What's your name for the Studdly Guy in the movie's head? I mean, Steve Stunning. Steve Stunning, I'd never heard that Steve Stunning. Is that something people say or do you just say that? I think I just say that. I'm going to stop in a second. I'm going to take a pee, okay? Oh, yeah, yeah. I thought you just did. No, I did not. Just not do. Okay. We can keep going whatever, but I know that. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I'm good for going after that. Yeah, let's just go do that. Let me take a pee. Yeah, yeah. You pee. But we're back. No, no, no, no, we've done enough. We're back. Okay, here's a deal. No, I won't go. It will stay. It wouldn't be the worst show in the world if we did 20 more minutes. Great. I'm serious. No, no, let's do it. Cool. Right here, throw it. Climb. Right here. Literally, I couldn't stop my pee. I was like, I started up like, the best pee I've had in my age. You're walking.