Lara Trump | Club Random with Bill Maher

People talk a lot about taking care of our bodies, exercise, eating right, but when it comes to taking care of what's happening inside your head, well, suddenly everybody turns into, eh, I'll deal with that later. Therapy isn't a crisis thing. It's a maintenance thing. There's no shame in getting some help. So get it with Rula. Thousands of guys have already used Rula to finally get the care they needed. Don't keep putting it off. Go to Rula.com slash random and get started today.

take the first step get connected and take control of your mental health factor is real food made by chefs not a meal kit that expects you to do the work ready in just two minutes it tastes like something you'd actually order and you won't feel like garbage after we've always got a few factor meals around the studio look they're right here and they make a quick and easy lunch for the team in between breaks so join the club random team and eat smart

at factormeals.com slash random50off and use code random50off to get 50% off your first box, plus free breakfast for one year. This episode is sponsored by ZipRecruiter. Imagine a world where you could instantly find whatever you need. Life would be simpler, wouldn't it? Yeah. Well, you'd save a ton of time. This is true for ZipRecruiter. Their matching technology works so quickly.

You can find someone to hire in just one day. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And right now. You can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash random. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. I know this will be just a crazy thing to say, but Donald Trump is not perfect. This is our platform. Hamas is the good guys. There you go. Who wouldn't want to vote for that? Men can have babies. Let's do it.

Hello. Hi. Hey, Bill, how are you? Well, I was going to get shot walking over. Stop it. Well, I saw the security. How are you? Great to meet you, Laura. You too. Thank you. Thanks for coming. Absolutely. I love a guest who's on time. I love a guest who. Oh, see? Look at us. We're early, Phil. I love a guest who says yes. Okay. Well, I heard you didn't like leather pants. And I'll be honest, I had a leather skirt on earlier. I know who told you that. Okay.

Cheryl Hines. She sure did. Did you talk to her about it? I didn't talk to her, but I heard about it. Okay. So I just wanted to come correct, you know? No, no, no. First of all, it's not a blanket thing about leather pants. We were just talking, I forget what we were talking about. I know what I meant or where it came from, which is like in a romantic relationship.

It's just too thick. Oh, okay. You know, when you touch. Nonetheless, I wore jeans, so I think we're good. You look great. Thank you. You always look good. We try. Yeah. You know.

you do your best um can i get you something and i'm i'm set right now i feel like drink i mean i i i've i've had a couple of drinks before yeah yeah no but i mean like do you I mean, like my mother right to the end, you know, 88 would always have the five o'clock. Oh, I don't make it a daily occurrence. I try to limit myself, but, you know. No, and my parents' World War II generation, you know.

The cocktail hour was, you know, five. Yeah, did they drink Manhattans? Manhattan was a popular drink at the time. No, my father drank what he would call a very dry martini, which is gin. A glass of gin was called a very dry martini. But you know, that generation, if you drank like five minutes before five o'clock, you're an alcoholic.

but I mean they were just like you'd see the salivation come down as they looked at the clock as five o'clock you could you could have that was their way of dealing with things I feel like that that generation man they went through a lot A lot. You know, and I feel like today, few people appreciate that. We've kind of softened up a little bit, so maybe we should give them their drink. Oh, fuck it. They deserved it. Oh, I mean, my parents...

Both were in World War II. My mother was a nurse. My father was in Patton's army. That's so cool. Yeah, it's cool if you live through it. See, I find that era so fascinating, and I find I can't learn enough about it. My grandfather served in the South Pacific. He was in the Navy.

And he died when I was like a year old, but I always think how cool it would have been to hear directly from him his stories. And we're, I mean, there are so few who are still alive from that generation that it's almost like totally done. But it's, I mean, what a...

It really was the greatest generation. Oh, yeah. Certainly the toughest. Yeah. But, you know, I talked to my mother about it, and she said, we were not tough until it was thrust upon us. Well, yeah, they had no other choice. Right. I mean, first they got hit with the Depression. Yeah. And that's when my parents were kids in the 30s, and it's probably even tougher on kids. But I have my mother's old letters to her mother.

who had to work out on long island my mother was left in new york with the the husband i mean my grandmother's husband he was in a cab as soon as my mother was born so she was like a single mother in the 20s which was not the usual yeah and i remember my grandmother telling me she would was driving and men would yell at her

Because she was driving? Yes. They thought that was highly inappropriate. A woman driving. Good for her for keeping on driving. I like it. I'm about that. That sounds good. And now?

Mohammed bin Salman is at the White House? And he's letting women drive. It's full circle. Do you understand what's happening? So were you at that dinner? No, I was not. Where was I? Are you usually at those dinners? Not usually. No? No. I mean, my life is so crazy. Don't get me wrong. We always get the invite.

But Eric and I are both incredibly busy. You know, we're working hard all the time on all of our own stuff. So to kind of drop everything and go there, you know, well, we can do what we do, but not always. It doesn't always work out. I sure dropped everything and went there when I got invited. You did. But I heard that was a great dinner. I love this. I was looking at this earlier. You know what that is, right? I do know what that is. Did you hear my report on that? Tell me. Oh.

I have to send it to you. You should see what I said about it. Because, you know, it made everybody crazy on the left. I know. And they still are. And, you know, it's so funny. This is a little surreal because... You know, Friday is our last show of the season. It's right before Thanksgiving is when we always get our winter break. So, you know, the Thanksgiving show.

I'm over there waiting for you to come, and I'm writing, you know, the end of the show, what we call our editorial there at the end, and, you know, it's a... At this time of year for this show, it's like I've done the same topic I feel like every year because I have to because there's only one topic that's sort of appropriate, which is it's Thanksgiving. Be with your family.

Don't cut off your family. Agreed. I know you do. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Even when there's a lot of things we don't agree on, and there's certainly a lot of things your father-in-law does that I don't like, and he has let me know. I'm sure he has. Oh, yes. But here's the difference. I'll tell you the difference. When I went there, I brought that. That is a page of 56 different...

Just the mind of a man who could come up with those many off the top of his head. This is, of course, over many years. Of course. But still, it's just like I couldn't come up with that many variations if I tried. Very creative. He's very creative.

No mojo, nervous, low-life dummy, so-called comedian, not a smart guy, better than Sominex, fired like a dog, dumbass. Is that your Donald Trump impression? Because I kind of like it. It's not that good. But the fact that he got it, so he signed it. Yeah. okay so then we went in and you know he was nice right away you know this again this is what the left hated that i would not lie and say that you know i said

A crazy person doesn't live in the White House. A person who plays a crazy person on TV sometimes, I think, lives in the White House. This is what many people have reported. went after the Oval Office and he showed me every inch of that White House, I must say. Oh, he's very proud. Oh, very proud. First of all, he's very proud to be in the White House.

And he appreciates the history there and what it all means so much. Oh, boy. Yeah, I mean, he really does. For anyone who has any question whether or not he respects it, he respects it so much, and he is still... For a guy who has Trump Tower, who has Mar-a-Lago, who has all of these amazing properties around the world, he is still awestruck by the White House. You can tell. Yeah.

Which is funny because when he first got there, the report, I don't know if it was true, maybe you know, was that he said, it's a dump. Oh, my God. Of course not. Never said that? No. That certainly was in the press. Oh, you mean everything out in the press? No, no, no. Absolutely not. But I'm just saying that's like a... He was like... And I thought, oh, well, you know what? The...

Parts of the White House are small, not the part he showed me. I didn't realize that the living quarters section is such a big palace. Beautiful. But I had been in the other side, the working plan, and that is small. It's smaller than you would think. It's old. The rooms, and there was mice, and like lots of, I thought, well, this guy's been, you know, surrounded, he's always in luxury. I mean, now it looks like Saddam's palace, for Christ's sake. It's very Gilded. It's very Donald Trump.

Yes, it's very gilded now. He does love gold. But can I tell you, I give you a lot of credit for going there. And for, by the way, being honest about it. Because I think that there's a lot of pressure on people. especially in your space and in the public eye, to immediately try to attack him. And for you to say yes to go to a dinner there, and for you to then say, you know what, he's not a total lunatic like everybody wants to report.

And to put this up and out, I think it's great. I'm so happy you did that. Oh, yeah. And never pulling a punch. Mike, the people, it's so funny. He texted me a cup. I don't know. I think I'm telling tales out of school. I would not betray any private confidence I've had with him, but I don't think this is very personal. But he texted me a few weeks ago yelling at me for, you know, because, you know, I, you know.

I say to my critics on the left, couldn't you at least wait to see if I was seduced by this dinner? Because I never was. I went right back to doing my job, which is calling him out on the stuff where I think he is very wrong, and there's a long list of it. A lot of it is not basically... the idea of addressing a problem which i think he very often has good instincts to address this it's how he's doing it we can talk about that or not if you want but

And so I never stopped with that. So he's yelling at me about how, you know, he said, you know, I guess you forgot our dinner and, you know, you've been, you know, captured by the lunatic left. And I said... I wrote back, always respectfully, how could I forget about our dinner?

The people who hate me for it never let me forget it. I'm sure they didn't. One fucking day. Yeah, I'm sure. Okay, so I could not have forgotten about it. But you know what? I'm not going to stop doing my job. And he, you know, he gets it. At least for me, he does. No, I think so. It did not end. It was a bit of an exchange. It did not end nasty or I'm cutting you off. And the difference is, since that dinner, not one public thing there.

And also, I'll tell you this, I've never said this publicly, but it's true. We went into the little merch room after the Oval Office, and he started yelling at me about the bit I did many years ago. about the orangutan because you know he was and I did not say sorry because it was a satire in response to his demanding Obama's birth certificate, which I thought was wrong and racist and not cool.

And he absolutely accepted that. And then I said, but you know what? I will also admit, not that one, but yes, have I taken some cheap shots? I have. And that's not necessary. And by the way, I'm kind of bored with it. You've been on the public stage here for 10 years more before he was run for president. And since then, no jokes about his weight, no jokes about his...

hair, his makeup, his nothing, Melania. I have enough on my plate with the policy. I don't have to go there. So I thought, like, you know, this is how... people bridge. Yeah. You make a little thing here. I make a little move this way. It doesn't hurt me. It doesn't hurt you. And I like it better. I like sticking to this. I'm not...

I forget who I was telling this to, that my writers, you know, they were giving all these jokes about something was going on with his hand. And I said, save yourself. I'm 70. That could be my hand tomorrow. It's true. Absolutely. So I'm not making fun of physical deformities and that stuff. Well, good for you. It was fun for a minute. And, you know, but like, yeah, I don't need it. And if that...

If we can do that on a bigger basis where people are talking and giving, somebody has to give a little somewhere. Exactly. I agree. Well, but your side doesn't either. Well, I think our side has also been really beaten down in a lot of ways and unfairly represented and attacked in so many ways. And I think that people...

I feel like we're kind of coming to a place where it's leveling a little bit. But I think that for a lot of people in this country, they felt for a long time like they didn't have a voice and they didn't have... They couldn't get on top of anything if you were conservative. And so I kind of feel like things are kind of balancing a little bit. And you know what? I will say people doing what you've done helps that so much. It really does help it so much because...

I think we need to remember at the end of the day. No one else is doing what I'm doing. No, I agree with you. Everybody else is in their fucking bubble. We need it. We need more of it. Well, I'm here, Bill. I came here. I appreciate it. And I always give the conservatives their props on that. I say it almost every time a conservative is on the show or comes here. Yeah. You know?

I mean, I'm willing to sit down and talk to anybody. Ask any conservative. Unfortunately, we can't ask Charlie Kirk who was here. That's right. Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene was on. real time either here or on the show ask any of them they will always ted cruz they will always say we had a good time yeah we had a good time you know i have now there are people who i wouldn't have here like that little prick nick fuentes

That is an unfortunate individual. And I hate that he gets associated so closely with... you know, the MAGA movement with my father-in-law, with all of this stuff, because that is... Well, they should denounce him more forcefully. Well, I mean, maybe you're right, but he is certainly not the representative that I think any of us believe should be out front. In many ways, I would hope he...

One of the problems with your father-in-law is if anybody likes him, he has a real hard time not liking them. That's true. And that has led him to some bad things. that may be true which you know what i i'm one of i'm not the only liberal who um said he there's enough to attack him for the thing about fine people on both sides

I mean, even Sam Harris, another liberal, has made the case. I've made like, it's not the full statement. Of course it's not. Don't get him on that. Oh, I'll go all day on that. I know, no. And what that is, is just... This thing of him, anybody who likes me, I can't quite denounce. But this Fuentes trick, like, Trump is not Hitler. No. I mean, Larry David said I had...

dinner with Hitler because it was such a bullshit thing. Trump is not Hitler. This Fuentes kid, that's Hitler. No, there's nothing I will say. that I've heard come out of his mouth that I think I agree with, or many people who consider themselves MAGA. And quite frankly, the fact that he's got a Trump flag up behind him...

I shouldn't say that we agree with him. That's unfortunate. We need to get you a new lighter. What happened around here? We got anybody with a lighter? Want me to need some help? Someday somebody's going to explain. Is this a sign you should stop smoking, Bill? No, definitely not.

Bite your tongue. Oh my gosh. Zippo light ears, they're so cool and they never work. This could be a ma-ha moment for you. Maybe we want to make Bill healthy again. I had RFK there, too. See? What did he say about this smoking? I don't know, but at one point he cried. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I think we were talking about his father's... I mean, I wasn't trying to be Barbara Walters. But maybe you are deep down. Little did you know. Maybe I am. Wow. But, no, he was... I mean, you know, I like Bobby. It's another one where... can i go along with all of it no of course not because some of it's whack but what are you not like that he's doing well i mean i'm someone who again has been

for many years, way before you people got on the scene, of being an anti-vaxxer. Were you accused of that? Before a lot of this shit came along, that was their main thing against me. Really? Yes. And I'm not an anti-vaxxer. I just said I would never get a flu shot because, first of all, the flu is always shifting.

That's correct. You don't even know what strain is out there. Neither do the people who manufacture the vaccine. You're getting the strain from the last one. Correct. And I remember I got a flu shot once and immediately got the flu. I feel like everyone... tells me that. My mom told me that. My mom was a nurse forever. And she told me years ago, she was like, I just don't get the flu shot anymore because every time I've ever gotten it, I get the flu immediately after it.

Also, I believe that I should have the right to choose. The coercion that went on during COVID, I was not down with that. Terrible. Okay. So you can see why the left is very skeptical of me on that issue. I'm still not where RFK is. And where is he? I don't know, because he'll say one thing and then I'm like, look, I'm reading it out of your book. I said to him, you said, you know, all vaccines, you're against all vaccines. That's what you think? I said, yeah, you wrote it.

You know what I mean? But he can have his opinion, and then there's public policy as well. And I think that for... for so many people who, like, look at the people who lost their jobs because they didn't get the COVID vaccine, all the problems it caused, right? There should be a space where we understand that you are not going to be forced into anything and you can decide for yourself. And I think a lot of parents feel very strongly about that as well. But look.

Whether you're talking about like the root causes of autism. Or the fact that he's bringing transparency to a space like our food supply. I agree. I mean, oh my God, what are we feeding our kids? What are we eating out there? I've been much more supportive of him than most, certainly from the liberal side. Yeah.

Because I am on the page and have been for a very long time of much more holistic medicine than Western medicine. I've been very critical of Western medicine. I remember having Howard Dean. Do you remember him? Of course. Okay, I remember having him on- His shout that lost him the whole thing. Was that the stupidest? Was that- That's exactly where my mind went. That's what I remember. That's like the moment. You're right. That's the moment. Yeah. But I remember arguing with him about the-

pharmaceutical food industrial complex in this country and why we're really sick. So I've been on Bobby's page. Okay, I like that. Yeah, I like it too.

So what do you do in your life? But he's also said things that I think are just crazy. I mean, he just goes to crazy places. I don't think your father-in-law agrees with him on everything. Well, he doesn't agree with anybody on everything. No two people think exactly alike. Yeah, I think that it's such a unique moment, though, where we are actually seeing people who have...

the only skin they have in the game is for the American people. I really feel like whether you're talking about Bobby Kennedy, whether you're talking about Donald Trump, they want transparency in a lot of these places where it feels like for a long time. No one did. You know, the pharmaceutical industry and all of these people giving money and kickbacks and this, that and the other to essentially keep us sick instead of getting us more healthy. I'm sorry, but I have I can't let.

this conversation. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go do it. Tell me. What do you want to ask me? I'm going to. You know, people talk a lot about taking care of our bodies, exercise, eating right. But when it comes to taking care of what's happening inside your head, Well, suddenly everybody turns into, eh, I'll deal with that later. Well, turns out the walk it off mentality is not a treatment plan. Therapy should be easy to get, but usually it's not. Wait lists.

insurance mysteries sifting through the google results of therapists near me so rula is here to change that they make therapy simple they they're a healthcare company that works with your insurance Most people pay about 15 bucks a session. Yes, 15. That's less than the cost of a decent sandwich these days. They connect you with licensed, vetted therapists based on what you actually need, not just whoever's free next Tuesday.

You answer a few questions, pick your time, and you could be talking to someone as soon as the next day. Look, therapy isn't a crisis thing. It's a maintenance thing. There's no shame in getting some help. So get it with RULA. Thousands of guys have already used Rula to finally get the care they needed. Don't keep putting it off. Go to Rula.com slash random and get started today. That's R-U-L-A dot com slash random.

take the first step get connected and take control of your mental health ford blue cruise hands-free highway driving takes the work out of being behind the wheel allowing you to relax and reconnect while also staying in control. Enjoy the drive in Blue Cruise-enabled vehicles like the F-150, Explorer, and Mustang Mach-E.

Available feature on equipped vehicles. Terms apply. Does not replace safe driving. See Ford.com slash Blue Cruise for more details. Yes. I mean, you know, always with respect. We'll do. To be talking about always. American people and no... I mean, the Trump family has gotten really rich this first year in the White House. And why is that? Well, a lot of people would say...

Because they're doing things that people are not supposed to be who are in government doing. Who is doing something incorrect? Like starting a crypto cunt. company where people can funnel money and we don't know how it comes i mean it does look a lot like influence peddling it really does and they and their and their net worth has gone up a lot

You want to know why my family got into cryptocurrency? It was because we were debanked. Because whenever you take the ability away from people to utilize a bank in the way that... has been done in perpetuity for... No bank would take your money? Well, look at what they did to the Trump Organization. Look what they did to my father-in-law. You know, my husband, Eric, runs the Trump Organization. And pretty much overnight, he had banks say...

You know what? We are unfortunately not going to be able to do business with you anymore. These are banks that had been with the company for decades. You are talking about thousands of employees who need a paycheck. You're talking about utilities. You're talking about buildings.

Like the whole scope of things comes out of a bank and all of a sudden overnight, you have to transfer all of that. Eric and I, you know, when we got our house in Florida, we're basically told, yeah, we approved your mortgage. Oh, wait. We changed our mind. We're not going to give you a mortgage. The things that happened to us. This is recently? This is in 2021.

The things that happened to our family were really outrageous. You couldn't get a mortgage in 2021? Well, we had a mortgage, and then all of a sudden, it was denied. Yeah. In Florida? Well, we were buying a house in Florida, but it was a big bank. If you read my husband's book, Under Siege, this is one of the reasons he wrote this book.

But it was it was moment after moment like that. And we had a lot of friends who were starting to invest in the crypto space. Cryptocurrency is something that a lot of people like because you can't be debanked because the government. doesn't have any ability to say, you know what, we're not going to allow you to get your money out. It is basically autonomy for your money. And so my husband started really investigating and getting into the crypto space.

And that's why our family got into it. It has absolutely nothing to do. And what person in government, in our family, has enriched themselves based off of this? The only people who are doing it are my husband. Haven't they made millions on crypto coins? They've made a lot of money for themselves, but my father-in-law has introduced a couple of coins. I don't know the specifics on coins. I can tell you.

The company that my husband and brother-in-law are involved in has absolutely nothing to do with the federal government at all.

But people, I'm sure, love to say that, Bill. Well, and do reports on it. I mean, 60 Minutes did it last week. I mean, about a pardon that was given to the... Binance, is that the guy, the Chinese gentleman? You must have seen this story. Okay. It does look, excuse me, like...

This administration, more than any, look, none of them are perfect. More than any? Wait, wait, I haven't said of what yet. More than any in this regard, not that other administrations don't have their... uh soft spot for people who are loyal to them they are this more than any i've ever seen and i've been covering this quite a long time looks like you get one treatment if you're a friend of the president and one treatment if you don't i mean to go after someone

for checking the wrong box on the mortgage application i'm sure that there are people who are republicans good republicans who have if you went through their mortgage applications for the last 40 years you would find a lot of them who checked the wrong box, the one that said, oh, you know what, I have two houses and I listed them both as a primary residence, which like everybody does, but they don't go after those people. You see what I'm saying?

Who are you referring to in this one? Well, he's going after two people now. We just found out this week, and I don't even like this guy, Congressman Eric Swalwell. Had him on the show. I thought, wow, this guy is just... Way too hungry. Thirsty, I think the kids call it. Oh, thirsty. The kids do say thirsty. He's thirsty and just too...

I mean, two left for me, you know, like California. And so, like, did I cry crocodile tears? No. But like he and Letitia James, I think, in New York. I mean, we're talking about checking the wrong box on a... If you're going to do that, let's go through everybody's mortgage loan because I think you'll find some people on your side who might have done that. I can promise you this. Our family has been scrutinized, attacked under a microscope.

I would probably argue more than any family. Well, of course, because your father-in-law is the president twice. Yeah, but it's not just that he's the president. It's that he's Donald Trump as the president. I mean, they've gone after all of us in such an aggressive way. They will go after everybody. They didn't go after Obama and Clinton in an aggressive way. Not like this, Bill. Oh, please. Really? When did you see Obama and Clinton's residences, personal private property?

raided by the FBI, when did they have indictments against them to put them in jail for the rest of their life that everybody can agree were a little outrageous, Bill? Like, really? I agree on the don't go into somebody's bathroom. But also, you shouldn't probably be keeping files in your bathroom. But yes, that was over the top. A little over the top. Over the top. Yeah. But if you're asking why they didn't go after Obama and Clinton for certain things, because...

Clinton and Obama never got on the phone and said, I need you to find me 11,000 votes. That is as close to a smoking gun as I can imagine or something that I would say. Wait a second. I do agree we should give presidents broad latitude. We don't want to become those South American countries where you're just always putting the last guy in jail. I agree. But that one...

Come on. You just can't do that. You just can't call up a state after an election's over and say, look, you've got to find me. You can't find votes. We'd vote. We'd tabulate them up. We'd count them. Well, no one knows this better than I do, because I was the co-chair of the RNC, and I worked really hard on election integrity last year, Bill. I'll say that. What did you think of Tulsi Gabbard's report?

that came out about what obama did though after the 2016 election what did he do when oh i know yeah he yeah he investigated he essentially made sure that Donald Trump was not only spied on, but also encouraged the Russia collusion hoax, which is written in textbooks around this country that the reason that Donald Trump...

won the 2016 election, was because Russia helped him win. Russia colluded with the Trump campaign. Do you know the saddest part of all of that to me, having worked as hard as we all did and that... election and campaign none of us knew anything about politics. We came in very green, very naive. There were so many staffers, people who really just believed in the cause.

who were so hurt had their lives destroyed because they had to lawyer up. They had to protect themselves and fight back and defend themselves from something that never even happened. And those are real problems as well. Unfortunately, there really hasn't been any sort of accountability for any of that, but it really tore our country apart. It really put a stain on so much of the first administration. Yes, but again, it's not like there wasn't smoke there.

that would make people think maybe we should investigate if there's a fire. I mean, I think it was your own husband who at one point said, we get most of our financing from Russia. It was either him or Don Jr. said that. It's a quote from them. From the company? No, no. For the company or for the campaign? This is before. This is like back, they said this back like in the early part of the century. You never were familiar with that?

We get most of our financing from Russia. So when you're talking about a company, but what happened during the campaign that made you think that there was some sort of collusion with Russia? He said publicly, Russia, if you're listening. I mean, you know, he said it out loud. I heard it. And then Russia did something the next day. They hacked the emails the next day. I mean, it was, you know, certainly... You're right, it divided this country in a way that we're never going to recover from.

I mean, we were afraid to hang out with people we knew who were Russian. Because we were like, did we collude with Russia? We didn't even know it. Because he said at one of his first press conferences, like, I don't know anybody from Russia. And then there's like...

You knew everybody from Russia. We've never had any meetings. Turned out everybody had meetings with Russians. Everybody had meetings with Russians. But it also turned out that Hillary Clinton in an email also was very happy to have... the FBI just kind of sprinkled some crumbs out to make it look like that Donald Trump and the Trump campaign colluded with Russia.

That's also a problem. Well, that's politics. Of course you're going to take – if a guy actually says out loud, Russia, if you're listening, please help me, then you're going to use that in the campaign. I don't think that's – It should be a big surprise. Tens of millions of dollars in the Mueller report later. And we know that Donald Trump and our campaign did not collude with Russia.

Well, that's not exactly what the Mueller report said. They did not say that word, but he didn't. Mueller went out of his way to say, I'm not saying he's innocent. I'm just saying I can't prove it and I wouldn't take this case forward. And that's a lot because... Mueller was sort of like they picked like the kind of over the hill guy who had lost his fastball there. That could be true. But.

I can tell you with 100% certainty, Bill, there was zero collusion with Russia. We worked our asses off on that campaign. And when I tell you, it was... Well, both things could be true. You could have worked your asses off and there could have been... Listen. Putin said he wanted...

Oh, my God. He did. He said he wanted him to win. So? That doesn't mean we colluded with him. No. A lot of people say things. That doesn't mean you all met in a room and twirled your mustaches and flipped your black cape. It just means that... Some people know they have common interests. I mean, we do know that there were lots of Russians who were purposely putting stuff on the Internet that weren't directly pro-Trump always.

They were just designed to, like, foment anger in America. They were just things to get people fighting because they knew that the more we had this impression that things were falling apart, it was probably going to be better for the... for the insurgent candidate. By the way, you know who else does that is China. They love to tear this country apart. They love to see us at each other's throats.

Just in general, but that's to enrich themselves. That's to benefit China so they can usurp us as the power of the world. One thing we totally agree on is I love America. Amen. That's my team. That's my team, too. I know. Yeah. I know. And I don't give any quarter to the leftists who just constantly downgrade America. It's another reason why they hate me. I mean, this is what I said to him in the text. It's like, you know, if I'm so...

captured by the lunatic left, why did they hate me too? God, did everyone hate you, Bill? Everyone is not fair. Yes, exactly. You're all right. That's how you know you're doing the right thing. Maybe that's true. Maybe that's true. When they both have an issue with you. Yeah. That's also why the people who like me like me a lot. Yeah. From both sides. And the people in the middle who just have had enough of people in their bubbles.

You know, I find it very frustrating that I cannot get the full story anywhere in the old media. I mean, I love the new free press. My girl, Barry Weiss, has started that. Now she runs CBS. You know, you're seeing a change there that's more fair. I think that's very positive. I mean, I've been very tough on the media and their biases. And I cry no tears. We're losing NPR.

Yeah, don't cry any tears over that. I don't. No, I think that's probably better. I don't. I don't know why you need the Kennedy Center. Do you like the independent journalist in the press room? What does that mean?

Oh, in your press room. Yeah, in the White House press room. Not mine, but, you know. Maybe one day, Bill, we'll all keep the Trump train running. Everyone would like that. Well, I know you were a very serious... Yeah. You could have... run for governor in North Carolina, right? Senate. I was considering to run for Senate in North Carolina in 22. Or Florida, right?

Marco Rubiosi? Marco Rubiosi, yeah. So why did you say, why did you deter? I gotta be honest, it was one of the hardest decisions of my life. And it's funny because my father-in-law told me after I decided... Our family ultimately moved to Florida instead of North Carolina. We made our home base Florida instead of New York in 2021 when I told you about the mortgage situation.

And it was just a better fit for us. So, you know, we weren't going to live in North Carolina. And I said, this is not the time for that. And then Marco's seat came up and I took it very seriously. I had many conversations with him and he was incredibly generous. with his time and to explain everything to me and encourage me. And my father-in-law is the one who said to me, he was like, you know, you're the only person.

We could have walked into a Senate seat and the only person to turn it down. And I was like, oh, well, maybe there'll be another chance. Honey, there'll never be another chance. That's it. You're done. And then Marco Rubio's seat came up. And I was like, oh, a lot of people were really heavily. pushing me in that direction. And I mean, it would have been amazing. And I've never had a harder decision than that. Or, you know, at the same time, I was in talks with Fox to have a show there.

And I ultimately decided because my kids are so young. Yeah. They were at the time five and seven. They're now six and eight. And, you know, they still want to hang out with me. Yeah. And you don't get all that much time with your kids. I think they say 80% of the time you spend with your children.

is up until they're like 16. And then after that, it's basically that's the 20% is like after that and beyond. So they're still in an age where they want to be around me. I think, you know, there's no more important role I'll ever have than that of mom. And so I ultimately decided because of my kids that this wasn't the time for it. Well, also, you know, apropos of our discussion a few minutes ago, no matter who you are, if you run, you are volunteering.

to go through a gauntlet on both sides. They do it on both sides. Oh, look! Look, I got a Donald Trump impression. I like that. That's great. No, you're right. They do. You're right. And you were just, I mean, you saw what Michelle Obama said this week? Yeah. I don't totally agree with that. I think America's ready for a president. I completely disagree with it. Yeah.

If people don't know, and we're going to talk about it on my show Friday, I think. I mean, she said, you know, don't even ask me to run for president because we're not ready for it. And we prove that and the country needs to grow up. That is not my take on this. My take on this is... Well, first of all, it's not a scientific fact that the two women who the Democrats ran lost because they're women, which is exactly what the premise of your comment is. We ran women and they didn't win.

Well, first of all, Hillary did win the popular vote. Oh. She did, but she didn't become President Hillary Clinton. I understand. I understand he pulled an inside straight, and he's the luckiest motherfucker alive. Okay. But he won fair and square. That's our system. But this idea that we just a priori say, well, they were women, they didn't win, so we're not ready for a woman. I mean, I remember, excuse me, when...

A lot of people said we weren't ready for a black president and somebody, I can't remember who it was, maybe Michelle could help me with that. Name's escaping me. Maybe Michelle Obama knows who it was. Maybe she knows. A guy said... That's what people say, and I'm going to prove them wrong. I'm going to be the guy that America does say. Oh, yeah. So I do think there could be a woman president. 100%. Yes, I do. And I actually, as a woman...

I hate the idea that anything is centered around being a woman. What I would love is for a woman to run for president and literally, Bill, never talk about the fact that she's a woman. Because guess what? Who cares? You either have ideas and policies that matter and that are going to be effective and you prove that you're a good leader and people are going to vote for you. But to say the problem, I think.

Well, that's a nice theory in fairyland, but in reality, people are tribal and they certainly, I mean, look, Michelle Obama was not right to say that, but it's also true that... I'm not going to name names, but there are certain cultures, shall we say, that are still quite macho, shall we say? That may. You shall. You can. Yeah. Okay. Sure. So, I mean... you know, the dude who's visiting the White House this week. I mean...

The women there, we would not call them in our society equal citizens. Their view of women is quite different. Correct. The good news is we live in America. Yes, we do. But not everyone who does live in America, there are still... A lot of knuckle draggers. That's true. And I'm not just talking about the MAGA white people crowd. Wink, wink. There's lots of, when it comes to macho and not thinking women.

should be president. I mean, there's lots of cultures. I'm not naming names. I agree with you. But they run the gamut, shall we say. But I don't think, I still don't think that it is, I think we are at a time in our country where

People are ready for that. This episode is sponsored by Wonderballs. Really? I'm not kidding. A men's underwear brand engineered for performance, built for all-day comfort, and crafted... with men's health in mind wow that sounds good whether it's a hard workout a long shift at work or a laid-back weekend wonderballs moves with you and keeps you comfortable all day yes

Seamless, tagless, four-way stretch, moisture wicking. This underwear checks all my boxes. Plus, when you purchase from Wonderballs, you can feel good knowing that you're supporting a small, family-owned U.S. company. with 50 years of experience making men's underwear right. Just take a look. Obviously, this family cares. These are the softest underwear I've ever touched. Well, men's underwear.

this blend of cotton and modal. It's basically like silk. I bet it's time for you to buy new underwear. Let's face it, most people could use a few new pairs. So get rid of those stretched out waistbands and get the best with Wonderballs. With four styles and a toxin-free ultra soft design, your boys will thank you. Go to WonderballsUSA.com and use code RANDOM for 30% off your first purchase. Shipping is always free. That's code RANDOM at WonderballsUSA.com for 30% off.

Isn't it time you feel wonderful where it counts? This episode is sponsored by ZipRecruiter. Imagine a world where you could instantly find whatever you need. Parking spots, last minute holiday gifts, the TV remote. Life would be simpler, wouldn't it? Yeah. Well, you'd save a ton of time. Well, this is true for ZipRecruiter. Their matching technology works so quickly, you can find someone to hire in just one day.

and with their advanced resume database you can see candidate info instantly no waiting no guesswork i've hired a lot of people through the years and there's nothing worse than interviewing person after person unable to find a match So make the process easier with ZipRecruiter. Want to know right away how many qualified candidates are in your area? Look no further than ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And right now...

You can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash random. Again, that's ZipRecruiter.com slash random. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Extra value meals are back. That means 10 tender, juicy McNuggets and medium fries and a drink are just $8. Only at McDonald's. For limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery.

One of the things we have to correct in America is people should not have to feel bad about living in any part of the country. where their politics isn't the majority. And that works both ways. I agree. Like you didn't feel comfortable there and that's wrong. And look, I never stopped ragging on liberals and woke people, not liberals. I'm a liberal. These people are different.

for just being fucking snobs. This is the, I won't eat with you at Thanksgiving, people. This is the no contact thing. But, you know, lots of liberals wouldn't be comfortable at a NASCAR rally either. I mean, there are places where you... But I will say, and this is something I'm going to say Friday night, the liberals are worse about this. I will admit it. And we have to look in the mirror on that one. We are just worse at the snobby thing, at the, I don't know any conservatives.

who don't at least talk. Now, maybe that's because you won. Maybe that's because it's easy. There was a time where we didn't. And you still came. It's true. Yes, there was a time we didn't. They're happy warriors. I remember that term when I was a kid. Like, that was somebody who was like, and that's what Republicans usually are. They're happy warriors.

They come there. You see, I don't pull my punches. They take their shots like a man. Yeah. Did you ever see Dean Phillips talk about going to a Trump rally? Dean Phillips. You mean the guy who challenged Obama? Dean Phillips is the guy who tried to primary Joe Biden. He wanted to run this past election. He runs my pot store now. Oh, fantastic. Can you believe that? I love that. Small world. So he was trying to run as a Democrat for president in 2024. Yeah. And he was out.

Doing some sort of campaign stop and he says right across the street. There was a Trump rally He's like, you know what? I'm just gonna go over and check this out And he went over and he said, you know what it was very different than I anticipated I told people who I was I told people I was a Democrat and people were like, well, come on in and check it out. And he said it was it was actually so different than anticipated because it's advertised as some sort of a.

good old boys, angry group of people who you don't come in here. No, we don't like your kind. That's not at all what it is. And I think you're right. I think generally speaking. I think conservatives try to be more open and just generally more open, which is kind of sad. I heard they were serving escargot at that rally. Is that right? I don't think so. No. Not that far. Not that one. Not that far. No. But still, yeah. Again, it's a lot easier to be magnanimous when you control everything.

Well, but can I ask you, what do you think we do to get the people who are the no contact people back? Great question. That's it. Because to me, it almost should be that... We have to have someone in a leadership position to kind of start directing this. Here's what? My husband was just calling me. Oh. Sorry. It's okay. I'll call him back. It's not the Secret Service, is it? We're fine. Okay. I'll call him back. Eric Trobe, I'll call you back. You have to go?

No, I'm good. Okay, you're good. I'm good. I'm enjoying it. I would love to hear what you think should happen. Okay, and I got a great answer for you. Yeah. Don't do things like call a woman piggy. Do we know that happened? I saw it on tape. Did he say McGee? Here's also...

By the way, but Donald Trump is an equal opportunity offender. He also said that he gave Netanyahu a lot of crap whenever he thought that he wasn't doing things right. He said he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. What does that have to do with piggy? I'm just saying in general. How about Joe Biden called somebody a lion, a pony-faced dog soldier or whatever, a dog-faced pony soldier, whatever he said. It goes both ways. I'm just saying, on a personal level, here I am.

But what does that have to do with these people? Working on this editorial for Friday, all about how it's mostly liberals who have to, like, get over yourselves, eat with your family, even the ones who are Trump voters. Even the Trump voters. Even the Trump voters. It just makes my job more difficult when during this week he says to a woman, Piggy. I mean, even you must admit.

This is just not cool, not necessary. And look, I'm still going to do it. And I'm going to say yes, because you know what adults do? Adults understand. that people are going to do certain things that we really hate and and you think you're a better person than me because you hate him more for calling the woman piggy i hate it too okay

But I'm an adult, and I understand people have their flaws, and he's the president of the United States. You can't not talk to him. There are certain people you just have to talk to. Your spouse. after you have a bad fight. Yeah. I have never been married, but I've been in serious relationships. I know the feeling after a really bad fight where you're like, I just don't want to talk to you. But you don't. Yeah.

and your boss who you hate and your relatives at Thanksgiving and the president of the United States. There are people you just have to talk to. And not talking and going no contact doesn't make you a purist. It makes you a brat. I agree with that. Even when he says piggy. But does he have to do that? Can't you get in there and say something? Oh, my God. Bill, let me tell you something. I know this will be just a crazy thing to say, but Donald Trump is not perfect.

I know! Oh my God! He's not perfect, but he does a lot of things that I think are great. And I think that overall, you've got to take some of the good with the bad. I mean, we're kind of saying the same thing. Yes, you've got to take the good with the bad. Well, you certainly can't just cut people off. I mean, Biden tried to cut off the guy who was at the White House now. And what happened?

One year later, fist bump. Because you can't cut off Saudi Arabia either. I understand why he wanted to cut him off. Because that guy cut off a guy's head. So it was like, you know what? That's not cool. We're not going to talk to you. Except, oh wait, you have the oil. And you're the counterweight to Iran. We have to talk to you.

You have to talk to people. I know it would be great to be able to live in your bubble. And, you know, that's one of our society's big problems too, is that people are too isolated. on their phones oh my god i freaking hate your kids are have phones yet absolutely not and can i tell you something that amazing that happened

My kids are little. They're six and eight. Hell no, they don't have. Six and eight-year-olds have phones. Not mine. I'll tell you what else they do here. Well, I think it's nuts. I hate these things in so many different ways, and I think they're horrible. They're a necessity.

This day and age I get it but Eric and I we had like one iPad in our house and we would let our kids if they Got their homework done. We're done with sports at the end of the day all the things we get 15 minutes on the iPad a day and about Two and a half or three months ago now, our son got in trouble. And we were like, guess what? You both lost the iPad. And we're taking it away for two weeks.

And we noticed in those two weeks that there was like a very positive change in both of our kids. And so Eric and I were like, we're just never giving the iPad back. Great. Do you know what my kids do? They read books. I swear to you, it is the craziest thing. I mean, Florida lends itself, and I'm sure California is the same way, to a lifestyle that is very outdoor-based. My kids are always moving and always doing things.

But when they get free time, when I flew with them, you know, we went to New York last weekend. That's what they did. They brought a book. When they get old enough, they should read the book I had out last year. Oh. Yeah. Do tell. You'd like it to. Would I? Yeah. I mean, you'd especially like half of it. Okay. But it's fair and it's funny. All right. And, you know, I'll give it to you before we leave. I love it. Yeah, because, you know, kids...

I think they want to be challenged more than they are. 100%. It's easy to blame the technology, and that certainly plays a big part. But it's also just the attitude of parents. I mean, my parents just didn't do it this way. I mean, I had Scott Galloway on last week, who is the guy who more than anybody has been identifying.

that the people in crisis the most not that women aren't suffering too but are men and boys absolutely are totally in crisis and one reason is because they're isolated you know and um You know, that comes as much from the technology, I think, as from parents just indulging them too much and pussifying the kids. I mean, I was a free- Totally. A free-range child. Yeah.

I used to talk about in my act how I would come home from school at 3 o'clock. I would fly up to my room, get into my play clothes, fly out the door. And my mother never once said... Where are you going? Yeah. Because I would be like, where am I going? What the fuck is it to you? Going out to play. I'm in the play clothes. I'll do whatever I do between three and six, and you do whatever you do. What were you doing?

I was playing. I was going out. You were out and about. I was going near the creek. See, but that's what kids are supposed to do. I was playing soldier. I was collecting acorns. Yes. I was throwing acorns. I love that. I would love for more kids to get back to that.

And that's something else that my kids do. Eric and I also never let them, when we would go out to dinner, have any sort of a phone. They'd ask us, can we have your phones? Because you go to a restaurant today, look around at all the parents who have their kids on these phones. Let me tell you, yes, it takes a lot more effort to be a parent than to hand them this thing. Be a parent and tell your kid no. And you know what my kids do?

They'll bring a football and they'll go out behind the restaurant and they'll throw the football around or they'll draw or they'll play something. They do make believe in the corner. They figure out stuff to do because that's what kids do. It's actually horrifying to me to think about what this upcoming generation of kids is going to be like, because the studies show you that their brain is damaged in so many different ways.

from what they're watching, from the dopamine and all the receptors in their mind flooding them whenever they watch these videos on YouTube and do all this crap on these phones. It's terrible for them. I told this story once. on my show and it's the kind of thing that has made the woke hate me and your side like me because i just keep it real about this shit i keep it real about this yeah but it's a true story okay um

I was in a parking lot, like, you know, like at Whole Foods or something, and there was this... I just saw this. I was parked catty-cornering to where this was happening, and this is... This mother was being yelled at by her, like, four-year-old, was just screaming at the mother. And the mother was apologizing to the kid. And the guy, you know...

And I'm watching this, and the guy is watching this, and, you know, the car that they were in front of had a Hillary bumper sticker on it. And he looked at me and he went... That's why I can't vote for these people and I was like you know Politics is not all about policy. It's about people are not that hip to the actual minutiae of policy very often. That's true. It's just like it's a feeling. Yeah. And the feeling was, I mean, I just encapsulated a lot to me why the Democrats keep losing.

To a guy who, as you say, is not exactly perfect. Not perfect all the time. Not at all. Not all the time. And just like. I can't let these type of... I know exactly what he meant. All of it. All of this anti-common sense. That's a problem. I never met an idea that was...

counter-intuitive that I didn't love. Yeah, there you go. Here. This doesn't really make sense. What do you think of it? Yeah, let's put this as our platform. Hamas is the good guys. There you go. Who wouldn't want to vote for that? Men can have babies. Let's do it. Yes, let's be for criminals.

Let's do it. Well, that's more complicated. Well, let's vote for criminals, Bill. By the way, that's one of the reasons the natives are restless on your side, even your people, because they voted for let's get the criminals out of the country. And what they got was... Now, let's find people who have been working here for 10 years and go to Home Depot and get them.

We don't like that. So what I'll say... If I don't get invited back, you tell them. People don't like that. I think you'd be invited back. I hope so. I would go back in a minute. Well, I think you'll get the invite back. My point tomorrow, Friday night, is that we need more people like me. Yes, I agree. And the thing is, he would do it. It's they whom do it. That's right. He likes conversation. Yes. He was glad, I think, that night to have someone who wasn't just an ass kisser. Listen.

Donald Trump asks opinions of everyone around him. Right. And he's always listening. He's always open to whatever people have to say. But to go back to what you just said there, I hear it. And there's nothing that feels good about seeing. people who had good intentions, generally speaking, leaving our country in this manner. However, we either have rules or we don't. We either have laws or we don't.

And I think what the goal has been of this administration, and they've said it too, is that they are targeting the worst of the worst. They are targeting the gang members, the criminals, the drug dealers, the human traffickers, which, by the way. 300,000 children went missing under Joe Biden's tenure as president coming over that southern border. Do you know this administration and the ICE agents out there have found 25,000 of these kids and had most of them reunited with their families?

There is good coming out of this, but you have been people who think that there's some easy fix to this are wrong. And it's very unfortunate. We should have had the laws enforced. You can't just come here illegally. And whenever they're doing these raids and they're getting the bad guys, sometimes, yes, there are other people who are collateral damage. And I'm not saying they're bad people, but they did break the law to come here. And unfortunately, we either have rules or we don't.

Yeah, that's not the way to handle it. Unfortunately, it's the nature of the beast, though. Joe Biden let... tens of millions of people come over the border illegally and somebody has to be the bad guy and get him out. And no one is defending that. Yeah. But once it happened, once it was a fait accompli. especially people who have been here for a long time. And again, even people on your side don't love this, this tackling people at their workplaces.

The idea that Americans would take these jobs, first of all, that's not true. So it's going to hurt the economy. But also, you could just say... And look, even Bernie Sanders and Pritzker in Illinois have given Trump credit for... Bernie said, look, he did it. He closed the border. We always said it needed congressional approval, and it didn't. It can be done.

But you know what? Obama deported a lot of people, too. He just didn't do it by being an asshole, by being a thug, by being masked, by tackling people, by being cruel in a way that not... Sending them to... other countries to like basically consign them to this kind of hell of a of the worst kind of prisons in the world yes you

Maybe you shouldn't be in this country if you don't belong in this country legally, but you also shouldn't get that as the punishment. It's like everything goes too far. Doge went too far. How did Doge go too far? You didn't like Doge? You didn't like cutting the fat off the federal government? What did you like about Doge? I do like cutting the fat off the federal government, not the way they did it. Just by... Come on, man. Here we go. I mean, there were people who died.

who did not have to. They were getting aid. They just cut it off like immediately. They let food rot rather than have it go out to people because that was... I mean, it was just so unnecessary and it was so unthoughtful. You could have like done a...

Very careful study. As soon as you got into office, it took months. It would take months. It is the federal government. It's a long time. And found out where the fat was, which has been done by other administrations, and then went about cutting that. No, that's not what they did. I've got a chainsaw. I've got a sledgehammer. Let's just break shit. Well, sometimes I will say this. You're never going to please everybody, and you're never going to do it.

something where everybody says, this is fantastic because that's the nature of all of it. However, this is a president who does look at things differently and you can criticize things like that. But you also have to acknowledge so much of the good, I think, that has been done by him as well. The fact that he was criticized initially over the tariffs. Okay, well, wait. The tariffs, everybody said. And I gave him endless credit for that.

Okay, so the tariffs not only have brought in almost $200 billion of money into our country, but I think it's around $195 million, but they have also been leveraged in order to get trade agreements. And cost people, too. That's why he's giving out a $2,000 tariff check, which they said will cost the money. We have eight wars around the world that have been settled, whether we're talking about India or Pakistan.

We're talking about Cambodia and Thailand. They say the reason that we decided to settle these skirmishes and these conflicts... was because of the tariffs. Yes, I understand. And we have trade agreements because of the tariffs. I talked about that on my show recently. And so you have to acknowledge that he has been able to do some miraculous things because the way he goes about things and because his...

His mind works very differently, I think, than anyone else we've ever had as president. There's no doubt about it. There is truth to that. There's also truth that, I said this, tariffs work as a cudgel. He has used them as a cudgel. Okay, but...

He's also using them illegally. It's very plain that Congress is who gets to decide about tariffs. It is a tax, okay? So he is taking a power. The Supreme Court is going to decide on them. Yes, they are. And I don't think they're going to decide your way. Interesting. I don't. Well, we'll see. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see what happens. We'll see. I don't know. Could go either way.

Let's see what happens. I always love when he says that. I mean, he does say things all the time, which, like, sometimes unintentionally, but, like, this guy is not boring. No, my God, he's the greatest. It's so fun. I think it's so fun. I love it.

I'm just happy to be alive right now. Forget my proximity to Donald Trump. Well, you're not in a prison in El Salvador. So it's not funny. Well, I also didn't break the law and bring drugs and human traffic. And you wouldn't have just? No. OK. Most of the people they have rounded up. did not have criminal records. Most? Even, yes. No, 80% of the people that they have rounded up and deported have had criminal records. I would say 70 to 80%. You want to bet?

Sure. What are we betting? What's super valuable to you? Oh, my God. Everything. My health, my wellness. You want to go for a run? You want to bet a run on it? Yeah, you're a big wellness. I sure am. Are you? Well, I'm 70. What are you doing to work out, Bill? I don't look like decrepit, do I? You walked in here pretty steadily. Yeah, I feel good about where you're going with that. Oh, boy, the bar's low there. Oh, my God, look, my earring's falling off, Bill. I walked steadily?

Oh no, we're taking our hoops off? No, hoops are always staying on. No, don't think it's that, people. When the hoops come off, that's when, like, you know, Lauren Boebert's going to be here in a minute. Oh, my God. There we go. He's back. We got him back, folks. I'm just trying to. I'm just trying to get this earring in. I got it. No, I didn't. Did I make that fall out? I apologize. I don't know. I think you did.

I'm a bad man, Laura. No. I don't think so. Exactly. Yeah. You're all right. I'm all right. No matter what they say, I think you're all right. Exactly. That's my motto. I've been pleasantly surprised. Dope.

I assumed you knew or else you wouldn't have come. No, I knew. Yeah. You see, can I tell you, I would have come, you know, regardless, because I'm always happy to... converse with people. But you've been very reasonable, I think, about a lot of things. I am extremely reasonable. I think so. Even when we argue, you know I'm right about a lot of stuff. I know you can't say it because you're going to run for governor and president, and that's cool. By the way, you're very... very good at what

you are undoubtedly destined for. I mean, when the kids grow up or something, you're right. This is the wrong time. Everything in life is timing, right? It's so important. It's everything. Look at Donald Trump. He toyed with running for president since what, like 2000?

Even before that? Well, he was asked about it before that. Even in the 80s? Yeah. Oprah asked him very famously, would you ever consider running for president? And he said, only if things got so bad that I felt the country needed me and I had no other choice. You know how long Donald Trump has been famous?

Let me tell you something. I did a movie back in the 80s when I was first out in Hollywood and a young comedian doing The Tonight Show. I never stopped being a comedian, but you always wanted to get on a sitcom, which I did, and I was doing movies like... We have some of the stupid posters. I guess we don't have any here where you can see. But, you know, dumb movies I did like DC Cab. And I did a movie in 1990 called Pizza Man.

And it had all these lookalikes from the era. And the ending was Donald Trump. He was in it? No, a lookalike. Oh. But I'm just saying he was so famous. This is 1990. Yeah. Then in 1998, I did a pilot for Fox as a producer. My friend Jimmy and I, we invented reality television, but we fucked it up. And so somebody else got to it first, but we invented this show where it was a scene, but you got like regular people to be the guest stars in the scene working with famous actors. Okay.

And one of the sketches was right after Titanic came out. And it was about the building was sinking. A building was sinking. And people are just in there and they have to deal with it? We can still make this happen. In the sketch, the owner of the building was Donald Dump. Wow. That's how long he's been famous. Yeah.

Sued me in 2013. That's all. You got in on the front end, Bill. You know what I mean? Like, that's great. I'm just saying, he's been famous for a long time. He sure has. And then The Apprentice era. Yeah.

Which is why it was really wild when I came into a family like this. I came from a very normal background, by the way. I grew up in a middle-class family in North Carolina, and all of this... has been very interesting to be a part of so it's uh it's been a ride and i'm still i honestly mean this my proximity to to my father-in-law is one thing but even if i were not

part of this family and as close to him and all of it as I am, it's just such a fascinating time to be alive. You know, all of it. I think it's really, it's amazing. Oh, it's definitely not dull. It's not dull at all. No. No, I mean... Look, HBO's going to announce tomorrow another two-year hitch for me on top of next year. So, like, I'll be, you know, well, I don't know, three years from now.

Will we even have TV or like my network could get sold? I mean, they're talking about that a lot. There's that. You know, I figure. If it's to Paramount, I think those are Jews. I should be good there. But I heard today it might be Comcast, and that could be Saudi money. We're on good terms now, Bill. It's all good. I've always kept it real about it.

Islam, which is another reason why the left hates me. See? Because, you know, they're on the page of America, cringe, Hamas, awesome. It's wild. And, like, I am not there. The one thing that, like, I am... 100% full-on is the Middle East thing. First of all, just backing Israel. Let's not pretend that all cultures...

although they're different, they're the same. No, Israel is our culture. We value life. We give women full rights, stuff like that. We're gonna go with the culture that we recognize and we think is the right one. You do you. Yeah. And then just the way he supported Israel's solving of the problem that they were slowly being surrounded by proxies of Iran.

And just like Michael Corleone in The Last Reel of the Godfather, he took out all the enemies, settled all family business, Hezbollah and Hamas and the Houthis and then Iran itself. We're going to do this. I mean, I give them full... And then to get the war to end and also to get maybe the Arabs to finally... We're getting closer. ...partici... Well, I read in the paper today that MBS is here to announce that he's going to help with Gaza, that Saudi Arabia is going to...

I don't know the answer to that, but it makes a lot of sense. And that's one of the things that I think has been very unique about this president is that. He is, look, as a businessman, I think he had this incredible ability not only to negotiate with people, but to have foresight into what needed to happen and how to forge relationships to make good moves.

And I would say that that could be a very positive thing for that section of the world. They need some investment. They need somebody to come in who's going to help rebuild. And that would be great. I don't have any insight here because I'm not part of it. Do they ever?

Do you ever get privy to like something before the world knows it? Not really. No? No. You can think of one time? I'm trying to think of anything. Okay. No, I'll tell you. Actually, we were with my father-in-law during the first... administration and it was, it must have been Thanksgiving. Was it Thanksgiving? He flew over and he went to see the troops over in the Middle East. I'm trying to remember where he went, but he didn't.

He didn't even tell any of us that he was going. They never do. No, I mean, like, stuff like that. That's for security reasons. And then the next morning. He was just gone, and then we realized he was all the way overseas. It was very cool, actually. But they always keep it a secret. You don't want to tell the terrorists you're coming.

Well, that's true. That is accurate. Meaning, but he didn't even tell our family who had just had dinner together, any of us, that he was even going anywhere. Right. But no, not usually. I mean, listen. Do you do Thanksgiving? At the White House? We usually have done Thanksgiving at Mar-a-Lago. At Mar-a-Lago, of course. Although this year we're going to go to North Carolina with my family and we'll be in Florida for Christmas. And you live in that orbit now. Yeah, we're in South Florida.

I mean, I keep reading that this is a whole world. Oh. What does that mean? What do you mean? It's quite a scene. You mean Mar-a-Lago? Meaning, yes. Yeah. Yeah, it is. You keep saying these, oh, yeah. It is. Smell the tea. Like, what do you mean? Like, I would like it? I think you would find it very interesting, actually. Never been married.

There's a lot of material there, Bill. Come on over. How many successful, never-been-married guys usually have to put up with their fucking kids and their third wives that they just dumped? I'm clean. Free agent. Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. He's ready to go. Mar-a-Lago is amazing. First of all, you have Donald Trump on the patio and he's out there for, I mean, anywhere from...

two hours to like four hours he'll be out on this patio. He's fully in charge of the music and he'll raise it so loud that people can't even talk anymore because it's like a song he really wants to hear, like a Pavarotti.

or Phantom of the Opera or one of these really hits him. That's what he likes? He likes all kinds of stuff. His eclectic music taste is really fascinating. I know he loves YMCA. He certainly does like the village people. There it is. Okay. Bill Maher doing the Trump dance. I like it.

Like 20 times I rolled this and said, it looks like he's jerking off two guys at once. I love your mind went there. But I don't do that anymore. You don't do it anymore. That's so nice of you. That one I did, I just got bored of. I mean, you can only do it. do the same gag so many times but it is it's fascinating out there and then it's really like the center of it feels like the center of everything well that's what i mean

The way they write the articles about it, but of course I can't trust the articles. We've got to get you there. Next stop, the $18 million Mar-a-Lago Club, ladies and gentlemen. That's right. You can give us your assessment. of the value once you leave. That's true. I mean, I've been to the White House. That would be the, if I'm going to have dinner again, that would be, I would love to see it. Yeah.

I mean, it is kind of like seeing the court of Louis XIV. It's a little like that. At the height of his corruption. It's a well. It's a little. I defended the ballroom. Oh, good. Well, that's nice. See, that's the kind of thing I mean. I just can't stand it that you cannot get the full story from anybody. And by the way...

They, and when I say they, I mean the usual suspects and you know who you are because you're fucking liars, will take this thing and your people will just take the parts that make me look like what they, right? That make me look like what they want to look like. And my people will do the opposite. Of course, I'll get it from both sides. Because my people will show me being nice to you to show, look at that asshole. He's nice to a Republican.

You should have burned me at the stake when I walked in. And your people will show none of the parts where I was critiquing Trump on the things I think he needs to be nothing about. All that will go. Because nobody's honest. So you like the ballroom. But I did, because first I read, you know, he, I'm knocking the White House down. It's nuts. How could he? You know, I had Michael Steele on and he was like.

uh my my father took me to the white house and i saw it and say oh geez i didn't know this was so emotional for people and then i started to read uh the other side and it's like oh okay First of all, lots of people have changed the White House. Second of all, it's just a fucking building. You know what? It's a building. And also, something they never put in the left press, we are America.

They shouldn't be having state dinners like under a tent. It's not a big deal. So what? They knock down an office wing and put up something for state dinners, which in the... 21st century, you probably don't need the office wing or you could put them somewhere else or put them in the, what's the building across the street that's like the blah, blah, blah. But they're still going to have those offices. They're just building them. They're rebuilding them.

above where the kind of segue is into the ballroom. Here's the thing, who better to build a ballroom than Donald Trump? Honestly, when you come to Mar-a-Lago, Bill, I will personally take you down to the Mar-a-Lago ballroom if the president doesn't do it himself. I remember we walked there and he was telling me about what's happening. It's like the guy, we should have had the hard hats on. You know, like this is the site.

where it's going to happen. It's like, okay. Look, no. It does not rise to that level of importance to me. That's what I'm saying. It's like... There are things he does that I am very very engaged with that are important and there are things that I've told my audience treat it like a cloud let it just pass because it doesn't matter.

and you can't get upset about everything. I said before he won the last time, I'm not going to let him get my mind this time, and it shouldn't. Your whole personality should not be about how you feel about... donald trump or any president it shouldn't be your whole life and i won't let it be uh that for you yes absolutely and i tell people this i tell people this yeah and it's funny

A little synchronicity. We have on the show Friday night, Mel Robbins. Do you know who that is? I do know Mel Robbins. I'm sure you do. I've known her for a long time, actually. Oh, you actually know her? I met her, gosh, probably 15 years ago with Eric in New York.

oh wow yeah well you were an early adapter because honestly i'm just starting to know who she is and i mean to say that's a phenomenon is an understatement the level of that book of hers and the you know the point of it is let them that's what she says that's the title and it's it's about it's sort of very eerily apropos to this it's like don't let people control your mind completely i mean

So ballrooms, no. Does not rise to the light. It is not on the I give a shit list. And I actually think, again, yes, America, pretty big country. We're kind of a successful band. We're pretty good. You know, I think we should have, when we have state dinners and shit, I don't think it should be on the grass. I do think there should be a floor. Call me crazy. But again, don't give a shit.

the amount of money it's not even public money even if it was exactly you couldn't find it in a rounding era and like there's so much bigger fish to fry that i have with him Well, like we're giving the ballroom a good nod. Respectfully. There you go. You know, as long as you keep it on that level. Yeah. You know, and, you know, I got to say, the Republicans, they...

They do take a punch. They don't get bent out of shape. Because I think secretly they know I'm right. But I know they can't say it. Marjorie Taylor Greene was on. I know. She's a bad. She's now on the shit list. Ooh. Ooh. I've got no bones to pick with Marjorie Taylor Greene. No personal issue with her. You would not believe how many people got in touch with me that weekend and said, wow, liberal people.

Like, wow, Marjorie Taylor Greene, I kind of liked her. Oh. You know? Because she was very, you know, my line is always, everybody's a monster until you talk to them. That's true. And I agree with that for pretty much everyone, Bill. I... I love it. I think that's a great way to go. Yeah. I appreciate that. I think it's the only way to be because the other way lies madness and civil war and, you know, this idea that

Each side can own the other side. I mean, certainly that's something both of them are guilty of. They don't want to compromise or come to any sort of middle. They want to own. They think, no, I want to destroy them. See, if I destroy them, then we don't have to compromise. I actually think that it would be great if we got back to a place where we had just more, and I do think this actually exists, whether we have more in common than we do different, and we acknowledge that.

And that we had two political parties. I mean, the two party system is not perfect, but that we had two major political parties in this country that. agreed on a lot more. And I think deep down we really do. I think the people do. I don't know about the parties. Well, that's right. Because the parties get sent by the fringe wings. Well, yeah. You know, I mean, it's very hard to win. It's easier to win a...

general than a primary. You get primaried and, you know, I mean, Trump says he's gonna primary Marjorie Taylor Greene. I mean, like, we gotta find someone to the right of Marjorie Taylor Greene. Are you in charge of that? You're going to work on that. See, now I'm Marjorie Taylor Greene's friend. See? God, what's wrong with you, Bill? And lots of people said, you know, they like her too. It's amazing. And, you know...

What I loved is that in the overtime segment, somebody asked about the, have you been reading about the comet that is heading toward Earth that could be an alien spaceship? No. Is that right? Oh, yeah. What? Yeah, they're writing about it quite a bit. Oh, I missed this one. Yeah. Better to not know. Just let it happen. It's supposed to come within 170 million miles of Earth on December 19th.

Some people have said that they think it's acting differently than a comet, so it must be a spaceship. So it could be the aliens ending all life as we know it. Well, I believe they're out there. But Marjorie said... When I when it came up that somebody in the some people in the Defense Department said No, it's actually not probably aliens. What it probably is is demons or fallen angels. Oh, and Marjorie was like

Right on. She said, I'm a Christian conservative. That's what we believe, demons and angels. And I was like, you know what? I think that's nuts, but I don't hate you for saying that. That's, again. You can come to Thanksgiving, even though it's crazy to me. You think I'm crazy in some ways, and we just have to, like, let that go. There's a lot to talk about. Let that go. Yeah, let it go. I mean, isn't that the secret of marriage? You have to, like...

Let it go sometimes. Yeah, you do have to let it go. Let it go. You have to sometimes love the other person enough to put yourself to the side and just say, okay. we're just for the betterment of all of us for the greater good let's all just put it aside and we can all do that we can but it's it's it's very hard when you have a fight with someone

when you're that close because that means you're also that much more vulnerable because they know everything about you and blah, blah, blah. It's so hard if you think they're fundamentally wrong about it. Like, why can't you see it? Why can't you see?

Right? You've had that feeling. Not with Eric Trump. He's perfect. But I know other people who have, Bill. Okay. Yeah. Well, I can't thank you enough for doing this when I'm sure there are people who said... You shouldn't meet with that bad man. Actually, no one said that to me. Can I be honest? Everyone I told that I was going to come here, they were like, that's so freaking cool. Oh, that's great. Yes. That's great.

I'm happy to do it. Thank you for having me. Tell your people that my people. I'll tell my people. Want peace? We do want peace. Because, you know, my people talk a lot, but... You guys have all the guns. We do. And all the Supreme Court seats and all the, you know, we want peace with dignity. We want peace too.

All right. Well, thank you. I can agree on that. Say hi to everyone in the family. I will. Tell your father-in-law. Just doing my job. We'll see you at Mar-a-Lago. Okay. Yeah. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving. See, it wasn't so bad. Yeah, I have a signed book for you from Eric. Oh, great. Yeah. Okay. Just take a look. Obviously, this family cares.

these are the softest underwear i've ever touched well men's underwear this blend of cotton and modal it's basically like silk i bet it's time For you to buy new underwear, let's face it, most people could use a few new pairs. So get rid of those stretched out waistbands and get the best with Wonderballs. Go to WonderBallsUSA.com and use code RANDOM for 30% off your first purchase. Shipping is always free. Isn't it time you feel wonderful where it counts?